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Last Wise Words By: Eden Williams
Final Message As we come to the end, we have learned so much in the short 2 years we’ve been here. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried; we’ve gained friends, we’ve lost friends. Regardless, I think we’ve learned more about ourselves than anything else. We learned how to cope with the tragedies and the heartaches better. We have learned to have a voice when others don’t. Past trauma can lead to majorly positive outcomes throughout time; just got to believe it. Throughout our past, we have dealt with a lot of hardships that caused roadblocks in our later lives. However, we overcame them. Yes, it took a little rerun of working on ourselves, but we overcame the majority of the hardships of our trauma through writing and music. Anything and everything was used to help cope with the things our brain couldn’t wrap around. We begin to see that “Fake Reflection” appear and the struggle with seeing yourself as someone who is not you. “Things I Adored” are almost like they don’t exist anymore. In this past life, you have to learn to cope with the harsh trauma and the physical things that happen because that doesn’t just go away. “Words Like Knives” goes towards more of the verbal aspect rather than the physical. In the present time, there will be people from your past that show up out of nowhere and they will believe that you are still like you were back then and treat you the same. “Not Me” reflects the response to being compared to the old me and who I used to be back then. Overtime, I learned “Self-Forgiveness” and was able to not feel guilty for the things that I had done in my youth, whether it was actually my fault or not. Growth has a funny way of presenting itself; “Flower Bloom” shows the growth and compares it to a flower blooming an showing its present form. “Times Flies,” “That’ll Be Me,” and “Dear Future” talks about what I hope to see my future as and what I hope I can accomplish in the long run.
Fake ReflectionThat girl That girl that I see Who is she? With the long brown hair The happy green eyes She has a dark color attire A purposeful step in her pace A bounce to her locks that she lets free Who is she? That girl with the wide smile You see quickly fade Who is that shattered girl? Trying to pick up her own broken pieces That girl darkened in someone else’s shadow Herself shielded from the rest of the world A world that she’s never seen A world where she’s never heard That girl shining in the sun’s light The rays sparkling on her skin Bringing her color back to life Bringing the smile back into her face Who was she in the mirror that no one saw?
Love Me or No One “You look so beautiful tonight, Devyn. I’m glad we could finally come to OUR favorite spot.” I smile at this beautiful girl in front of me. With her dark eyes and dark hair pulling me closer to her; she is a goddess to me. I love her so much. “Noah, this isn’t right. Let me go, please. This isn’t my favorite spot, it’s YOURS,” Devyn tells me as she tries to break free from the ropes around her small wrists and feet. It IS our favorite spot. We’ve shared a kiss here. I put my index finger on her lips, shushing her, “Don’t say such harsh words sweet one. Why would I let you run away from me? We are destined to be together…forever. You love me too just as much as I love you. Don’t throw what we have away now.” She struggles some more, trying to break free from the restraints. Devyn turns away from me, thinking about what to say to me. “I could never love you. Do you see how you are acting right now? How could I be with you when you’re like this? You’re a psycho Noah! We are not meant to be together. And-” I grab her by the ropes and pull her towards me with a bit of force. “Is that really how you feel, Devi? You know, I’ve done so much for you, and you have been nothing but ungrateful… Let’s go look at the water, shall we?” I pull her up to my level and drag her with me to the deeper area of the lake. “Noah, you know how I’ve felt for a while now. Don’t act like it’s my fault on why I don’t want any of this…Wait! Noah what are you doing!?” Devyn tries to break free from my grasp, turning her back toward the water.
“My love do not pull away from me. You’re going to seriously hurt yourself. Love me Devyn. I know you love me. Let me make you happy…you’re really starting to test my patience, love.” “Let go of me! Noah, have you lost your mind? I don’t love you, you’re a psycho. I don’t want to be with you.” She struggles to get away from me, but my strength is no match for hers. I relax my hand as she leans farther and farther from me towards the very edge of the cliff. “Noah, don’t do this.” “You leave me no choice, sweetheart. I can’t stand to see someone else love you. They wouldn’t even love you as well as I could’ve.” I say to her sternly, threatening to let go of the ropes in my hands. “You’re insane, Noah. You can’t do this; I don’t want to die. Please Noah, pull me back up.” Tears begin to streak down her soft, beautiful face. She’s holding onto the ropes around her for dear life. “Oh now you want to beg for my pity, my empathy for you? Ha, it’s funny seeing how scared you are, or trying to seem. I love you, Devyn. You will be mine.” I chuckle pulling her up toward me slightly. “I will never be yours. I will never love you. You’re crazy if you think I could EVER love someone like you.” Devyn shouts back at me, poorly choosing a few of her last words. “Oh really? I warned you, my love. You love me or no one at all.” I pull her close enough to me to be in her face to say my final words to the love of my life and I let go of the rope as my tied-up lover falls into the cold waters of the lake below.
“Noah, no!” Devyn yells for me. I grab the heaviest rock I can find which is about as big as me and toss it right onto her as she hits the water. A murky red color emerges from her body as Devyn becomes nothing but a shadow outline in the dark lake. Drips of sweat fall down my face as I glance across the horizon of tall dark green trees. Strong winds blow through the leaves and through my hair, making it a frizzy mess. The clouds obscure the moon in patches, making the moonlight play peek-a-boo in the sky. Howling is noticeable, but faint in the distance. I stare at the rippling water watching bubbles rise to the surface of the water, like air bubbles from the fish that are unfortunately living. She had it coming; it was her fault for not falling in love with me. I bring my bloody hands up to my view and a smile grows on my face. The spark in my eyes show my amazement at the blood on my hands. The sleeves on my jean jacket are soaked, covered in lake water and blood. Finding a small lighter in my top right pocket, I attempt to set a pile of leaves and sticks a flame. I take my dark blue jean jacket off and throw it into the now burning pile of sticks and leaves. I slick my hair back, and stare at my reflection in the wavy lake water smiling at myself. I stomp out the fire and pick up the jacket, holding it up to my nose, “Ahh, still smells like her sweetness.” Suddenly sirens begin to go off aways from the lake area. I head to the trees in the south and slide down the muddy hill near the lake as red and blue become visible in the north trees.
Things I Adored His sweet voice that played in my ear His soft touch that held me in a hug The feeling of the soul that used to connect with his The way he used to be I loved The brown that sparkled in my eyes The wavy brown hair that swayed in the light wind The skirts that had a witch look to them The Things I Adored Are almost no more
Words Like Knives The cuts you make The gashes you create Sometimes I wonder How the words made so many wounds Some that never healed Your voice that made me shudder Your body telling me to be scared The hands I once held with love Now clenched on the sides of your angered body Simple questions made you like this My voice that never existed to defend But to agree upon fear of loss The love I had can’t be tread on any longer This is the end of the road for you With your words like knives
Bus Visit I normally don’t travel by bus, but work gives me no choice. This is all because they don’t want to pay for my commute to the work site and back. These kinds of business deals are absolute hell. I sit at the bus stop wearing my dark blue suit jacket with dark blue slacks. My black Oxfords glistening as dripping rain drops from the sky above hit them. As long as the rain doesn’t get my black button up under my suit jacket wet, I don’t mind. “Hello sir,” says a little voice beside me. I glance over to my right to see blonde pigtails with rainbow swirl bows keeping them up. “Hello little one. Where is your mother?” She was by herself. I looked around for another adult but seen no one. “I’m not sure. I’m supposed to wait for her here. At least you can keep me company.” She smiles at me, rocking back and forth on the bench. “I guess I can, but I’ll only be here until the bus leaves.” I inform her as I give her a slight smile. We sit in silence for what seemed like forever. I look into the rain watching for the bus when she breaks the silence. “Why are you dressed all nice?” She stares at me with piercing eyes. “For work” “What do you do for work?” the little girl tilts her head with curiosity. “I do business deals” I say shaking my head. “What kind of business deals?” “The important kind” I shrug my shoulders, thinking I made myself pretty clear. The little twiddled her fingers on her blue jean short overalls as she stood up with a yellow t-shirt under it.
“Well why is it so important?” She looks at me with those conniving eyes staring into my soul. “It’s business deals for my family. Speaking of, where is your-” I turn to look at this little gremlin to find no one there. She was just right next to me; I wonder if her mom finally got her. The honk of a vehicle snaps me back to reality as I lay my icy eyes on the bus that took so long to arrive. This day turned from wet to straight up weird.
Not Me Hey, you’re the one the one I’ve been looking for Looking for? Who am I to you? The one who is talks all the time? No. The girl with beautiful brown hair? No. Red is my hair color. The girl who never speaks up? No. I talk more now. The green-eyed girl with the scratch marks? No. I’m all healed. You’re the girl who has her nose in the books? No. Still got plenty of books that need reading though The girl with no priorities for herself? No. I’m starting to take care of myself quite well Tell me then, are you the girl that has no voice? No. That’s not me.
Self-Forgiveness I forgive you I forgive you for the lies and wrong truths I forgive you for the broken promises I forgive you for the bad situations we got involved in I forgive you for falling off the hay I forgive you trying to stay strong when that car hit you I forgive you for almost breaking your ankle in middle school I forgive you for letting him in I forgive you for keeping him around for almost 3 years I forgive you for not learning to love yourself I forgive you for not knowing other people’s intentions I forgive you for not finding my voice sooner I forgive you for holding myself back
Flower Bloom As I am getting older I am learning more Spreading my wings to more knowledge Getting my skills and experience out there I’m fluttering like a social butterfly Trying to get that hotspot of my profession I’m going to do great out there I’m going to expand my horizons I’m going to bloom like a flower bud
Time Flies Feels like I was just a little girl With the pigtails and the cute clothes Innocent little kid, couldn’t hurt a fly I was just a young kid Didn’t know much about the world Could tell you anything you need to know I was just in high school Learning my way around Making good and bad decisions Where did all my time go?
That’ll Be Me In a pastel purple office with a beautiful view Someday Typing on a computer, still writing Someday A comfy office chair, with a soft couch for clients Someday My works selling to buyers Someday An editor for a big company I know it, someday In my determined eyes That’ll be me
Dear Future I hope we can get along. You’re full of so many opportunities. So many doors have been opening for me. Which ones will you keep open for me? Will my dreams be fulfilled? Everything my heart’s desire? Do I get to do what I’ve worked so hard for? What I have been waiting to earn for so long? Dear Future Don’t forget to turn out good for me too. I’m not the only one you need to be wonderful for That little girl that wanted this That little girl who wanted her writing future Make it worth our while. Dear Future I can’t wait to see what you hold. Sincerely, Present Me
Endings are just New Beginnings The End