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My Funeral Wishes A helpful guide to thinking about planning a funeral whether that be for you or a family member or friend In this booklet General information on what to think about Planning form to write down your thoughts and preferences to keep in a place where family know where to find it or to keep with your Will
My Funeral Wishes Thinking about your own funeral It s not easy to think about planning your own funeral However it is one of the most helpful acts you can leave for family and friends So often we meet families that have no idea what their family member friend would have chosen and their main worry is about doing something they would not have wanted Currently there is a lot of marketing targeted at Direct Cremation not having a funeral at all the ashes are just returned to the family The message conveyed is to not leave family with the stress and expense of planning a funeral However it should not be a case of either or either no funeral or a typical style traditional funeral that can involve a lot of expense Times have changed and there are many simple meaningful ways to help your family and friends have a sense of ritual with a funeral without it involving unnecessary expense or elements that do not reflect your wishes or style To get started we suggest to first think about these 3 questions 1 Would you wish to be buried or cremated 2 Would you prefer a faith led funeral or non religious 3 Would you prefer for a no fuss funeral or a sense of ceremony tradition Let s look in more detail 1 Would you wish to be buried or cremated The biggest difference between the two is cost Land is expensive in London Surrey The simplest burial option is around 4 000 whilst the cheapest cremation option is 1 295 as of 2023 A burial can be at a natural burial ground where the burial happens in such a way so the body can return to nature There are discreet name plaques but no official headstone Or a burial can be at a traditional cemetery this is typical for faith led funerals or where a family has an existing plot If cremation is your choice what would you wish to happen to your ashes Is there a specific place you would like them scattered or buried or would you wish for them to be scattered at the crematorium
My Funeral Wishes 2 Is there a faith or ritual important to you or non religious If you follow a particular faith you do not have to be a member of a church for a faith led funeral typically a church will lead a funeral for anyone living within their parish A minister priest will lead a service at a church or at a crematorium chapel or cemetery For non religious funerals we recommend a celebrant also known as humanists to lead the service who can be as light touch or as involved as you need them to be typically we get a feel when we meet a family as to who we would recommend Or a funeral can be family led this can work really well when a family dynamic is such that relatives can easily work together 3 Would you prefer for a no fuss funeral or a sense of ceremony tradition where family and friends can gather The most common answer people will give when asked about their own funeral is I don t want any fuss Probe further and it is often that they don t want the typical funeral display of a black hearse and procession What you need to know Transport is not limited to a hearse A crematorium is not the only place where you can have a non religious ceremony Think about your life and all the people important to you and how you could imagine them getting together at a time when they are coming to terms with you having died What would make you smile if you were watching over them at the service A funeral offers a sense of ritual whether that is one person attending or multiple people that can be healing in the time ahead Funeral Styles Direct Cremation Unattended This is an unattended funeral and is called Direct as the coffin does not travel through the chapel it is taken direct to the cremator room so there is no opportunity for family or friends to say farewell The ashes are returned to the family or scattered at the crematorium It is the lowest cost funeral 1 295 as of 2023 but is also not the only option for a No Fuss Funeral
My Funeral Wishes No Fuss Family Farewell Unique to White Rose Modern Funerals this is for when immediate family wish to be at the crematorium to say farewell but don t wish for the structured formality of a service We offer this service pre 10am at either Mortlake or Kingston Crematorium they offer a discounted rate at these times you have up to 20 minutes in the chapel and it is also a quiet time of the day Arrival is low key using discreet transport coffin not visible and a simple coffin is pre placed in the chapel before family enter there s no formal procession Typically 1 15 people attend and either just quietly listen to chosen music and contemplate or between them gather around the coffin and share memories It s a personal way to say farewell and helps to give a sense of ritual without too much formality A simple cardboard coffin is provided if this doesn t appeal you can choose a simple oak effect coffin or a simple willow coffin at an additional cost Typical fee for a No Fuss Family Farewell 2 200 unless different coffin choice 2023 Holding a service at the crematorium Purpose built for funeral ceremonies where family friends and colleagues can gather we are lucky in SW London to have the attractive Mortlake Crematorium with its beautiful gardens and also Kingston Putney Vale and SW Middlesex all close by You may have a preferred choice of crematorium so it is good to let this be known You may also have a definitely not feel towards a crematorium that is important to let family and friends know too Typical ballpark for a simple crematorium funeral 3 500 2023 Holding a service at an alternative venue A cremation funeral does not have to take place at a crematorium There are a few local venues that can accommodate a funeral service to include the coffin where you have more privacy and beautiful surroundings What these beautiful locations offer is a sense of privacy peace and space there is no conveyor belt This gives families so much comfort Surrounded by nature the ambiance is non funereal which also makes these locations ideal for children if attending Current locations are the ceremonial halls at GreenAcres Chiltern acres of woodland and Clandon Wood nature reserve both are also Natural Burial grounds We also use Pembroke Lodge Belvedere Suite this is on the basis that you also have a Wake there and the minimum number is for 50 people attending Linden House in Hammersmith and Strawberry Hill House are also available venues that will allow a coffin to be present We aim to grow this list of venues Typical ballpark for an alternative crematorium funeral 4 000 2023
My Funeral Wishes Burial Funeral A service can be held at a cemetery chapel church or a Natural Burial ground that will have its own service hall Or can be graveside only Finishing touches Coffin choices these are changing all the time and becoming more environmentally aware so more natural materials are being used Typically think along the lines of if you would like something traditional natural like willow or wool or simplicity of cardboard Transport think about if you would prefer discreet where the coffin is not visible from the outside and is low key or if you like a sense of tradition with a hearse or something that is a passion of yours or represents a characteristic Vintage Rolls Royce Horse and Carriage or quirkier options like a CamperVan or even an Ice Cream van Photos are an icebreaker at funerals We create beautiful slideshows set to a chosen track of music a lovely way for family to contemplate We also create lovely photo pages in our printed order of services Think of photos you would love to be used And also those photos you wouldn t want to be used Make sure this is know Music perhaps the most personal touch of all think of the music important to you and make a list Think about the vibe you would like there is no right or wrong What would you like people to know about your life Think about the stories and life changing moments that helped to shape you that family and friends may not be aware of What legacy would you like to be carried forward Busting a few myths Embalming is not necessary unless for viewing and the body condition is not stable It is an invasive process Dressing is not necessary unless there is something specific you wish to be wearing make sure this is made clear the body is also wrapped in a soft coffin sheet Viewing in a Chapel of Rest is not xx if you didn t wish for this at all make sure you let this wish to be known At the majority of crematoriums the coffin does not move until everyone has left the chapel It is definitely your ashes and the coffin once a coffin is sealed it is not opened again Hopefully this is enough information to start a few thoughts and conversations Next step jot a few thoughts down in the attached
My Funeral Wishes PERSONAL DETAILS Full name Address Date of birth Next of kin Executor Preferred Funeral Director MY FUNERAL WISHES For my funeral I wish to have Cremation Burial Preferred Crematorium Cemetery or Natural Burial Ground If cremation I wish for my ashes to be If burial details of any plot reserved Funeral service wishes Signature e g scattered buried location
My Funeral Wishes ADDITIONAL PREFERENCES Faith led or non religious Direct Cremation Unattended No Fuss Family Farewell immediate family friends only no formal service Cremation service at a crematorium preference Cremation service at an alternative venue less funereal Burial at a traditional cemetery preference Burial at a natural burial ground preference Thoughts on how the funeral should be My priorities What I don t want
My Funeral Wishes ADDITIONAL PREFERENCES Officiant or person to lead the service e g Celebrant Minister Family member Ideas for readings poems music or hymns Preferred funeral transportation Don t mind Hearse Other Preferred style of coffin Traditional Natural Solid Wood Other thoughts Photos and Music Preferences for flowers and or charity donations Details of any pre paid funeral plan Cardboard