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Eryka Valenzuela1217330 CREATIVE WRITING PORTFOLIO Eryka Valenzuela Fall Semester 2021

1 As a child, I filled all my notebooks with stories I created in my mind with tales of adventure and magic, when I should have been paying attention to my math teacher. I looked up to all of the authors who had provided me with their stories and could make me feel like I was transported into a whole new world instead of my own. That was the reason I decided to take this class, to learn how to create these new worlds and write something for people to enjoy. Now, I am nowhere near writing the next New York Times Bestseller, but with this class, I am definitely one step closer. In this collection I have compiled several different forms of poetry as well as a few short stories all with different themes and forms, but nonetheless still works that I am very proud of. When I was going over all of the material I wrote in this class I was fairly surprised with all of the poetry that I had written, and even more surprised with how much I enjoyed it. My entire education, ever since third grade English, I remember always hating learning about poetry. Now, I am happy to report that I have found an appreciation for poetry and have written a few works myself. My personal favorites are, hos∙pi∙tal, and A Woman’s Choice. Both of these poems deal with my own personal views over the world, and both of which are about some very pronounced topics but I believe that’s what makes them my favorites. Another section of this collection is over short stories and that is where I would like to introduce The Thing’s I’ve Lost: Revised. A rewritten version from the famous poet Brian Arundel’s The things I’ve Lost. It’s about things that I have misplaced or lost over the past twenty years of my life. Such things include: numerous books, toys, my first kiss, hoodies, and numerous amounts of respect for many different people. The final work that I would like to personally introduce is A Frog Named Buddy. Now, unlike my other works this short story is about a much lighter topic. It is about a Frog named Buddy who lives in a meadow and takes action on his dream to fly. Yes, this story could probably be put into the children’s section of a library, but it is a story that makes me smile every time I read it, and I hope it will make you smile just as bright. In conclusion, this semester I have learned a lot about myself as a writer but also as a person, and I am incredibly grateful for what I have accomplished. I learned a new way to express my thoughts and feelings into something that can be beautiful and be able to share that with others. So, to my instructor and numerous classmates who proofread my works, thank you.

2 Dedication I would like to take this time to thank a few people who have made this whole process possible, some impactful and some not, but regardless they still made it possible. First, I would love to thank my abnormal and loving family for providing me with crazy memories to write about and for their continuous support in everything that I do. I would also like to thank Emma, the barista at my favorite coffee shop and new best friend, who provided me with endless expresso and conversation which helped me to complete my essays no matter how many times I wanted to not do it. I would also like to thank the millions of authors that came before me who not only helped me but have also inspired me to write. Finally, I would like to thank my instructor Mrs. Cervantes who was always just an email away and for answering anytime that I needed her. Table of Contents Poetry hos∙pi∙tal………………………………………………………….…………….…. 3 I’m Sorry………………………………………………………………………...… 3 My Winfield………………………………………………………………………... 4 Graciella…………………………………………………………………………… 4 A Woman’s Choice………………………………………………………………... 5 An Abecdarius for Grace. No Wait, Rian…………………………………………. 6 Short Stories The Things I’ve Lost: Revised…………………………………………………..… 8 Not Everyone Travels the Same………………………………………………….. 11

3 A Frog named Buddy…………………………………………………………….. 16 hos∙pi∙tal hos*pi*tal n. 1. The building where miracles are made. Like a newborn baby taking its first breath or a cancer patient learning that the radiation worked and are no longer a patient. It’s sheer joy and happiness being emitted from all these people because they now know that their loved ones are safe. 2. The most terrifying institution possible where people only go to die. One will sit there and watch as their loved one goes into surgery for a minor procedure, but never walks out. Or hearing that heart monitor stop beating, and instead, make a constant noise indicating a flatline. I’m Sorry I’m sorry for the way we had to end things. All the weekly trips to the ice cream shop on Friday night are now over. The apartment that we share that’s filled with old and beautiful memories that we once shared will now have to be ripped apart and packed away. In the beginning we cared for each other, and I woke up every morning with the thought of you on my mind. When I saw you, my face would brighten by the happiness I felt by being able to see yours. Most of all, I’m sorry that I had to say those words to you in front of your family during your sister's birthday party. I’m sorry that our relationship isn’t what it used to be. But time changes everything and I grew out of the honeymoon phase. You became too busy at work to go to our weekly ice cream dates, and when I would come by the office with your ice cream, all I received was a stare and silence. The apartment that we had became just a room filled with some random stuff which were only pieces of the joy I used to have. I’m sorry that I had to break up with you at your sister's birthday party, but you weren’t even at the party. And as I uttered those words over the phone to you, I knew that it was for the best.

4 My Winfield “It’s a town you drive through, not to.” Is what many people say about my town. It consists of a middle and high school all in the same building, and yet there’s a university here too. Where people get so excited about Friday night football like it’s a weekly holiday. A town with only six restaurants all on the same street, in fact, every business is located on that one Main Street. Where everyone knows everyone, and your last name defines how people see you. A place that I left in my youth and didn’t want to come back to. Graciella G race for short. R eally big personality with the hair to match A loyal friend whom you can always trust C an and will take you down in a fight I ntelligent in school but not outside of class E normous heart with lots of love to give L oves to be around her friends having a good time

5 L ast daughter in the family, but not the last child A beautiful person inside and out A Woman’s Choice I don’t want children, and people hate that Why risk it for someone I do not know? Great pain to your body and being fat Are all things I just simply say no. Others say I am just a feminist Or say I’ll change my mind in the future But why is my choice easy to dismiss? When they act like my personal ruler I love kids but don’t want to be a mom Cause I know my life will never be calm And now I shall raise my fist and my voice Cause, after all, it is a woman’s choice

6 An Abecdarius for Grace. No Wait, Rian. Abandoning the world, the person, that you’ve grown up to be is very hard. The beautiful baby girl that your parents envisioned you to be your whole life, is now dead. Of course, this isn’t something you just decided on a whim, but a feeling that has always been there. Deciding to let that feeling out into this dangerous and unforgiving world is truly empowering and scary all at the same time. Society looks down on transgender people and have fabricated this belief that they are not human. A belief you shouldn’t have to deal with. Gender is a topic that I know you have struggled with and something you’re still trying to figure how to manage, and that’s okay. You think you must have a label to know who you are, but I know the person that you are is incredible regardless of if you like pink dresses or blue jeans. Knowing all of the uncertainty and oppression that you will face in your lifetime is worrying for me but I know your parents raised you to be strong and to be Mature in rough situations. Many others are going through the exact same war as you are right now, trying to find their voice, but this is your experience therefore you must fight your own battles. Part of the battle is coming out to your family, which is the hardest. They raised you to become a queen but through this war you will emerge as a king. Because at the end of the day it’s Ryan now, and not Grace anymore.

7 So, I write this poem to you for you to read and understand that it is perfectly okay to be the handsome young man you are becoming. No matter if you get the surgery or decide to unveil yourself to your family in a few years rather than now. It doesn’t matter if you fill your veins with steroids or you never grow a beard. Your pronouns will still be he/him no matter what you do, or how quickly you do it. You are ‘xactly the person who you were meant to be. Now is the time for me to let you go but I leave you with a quote to remind you to keep going even in the hard times. In the words of Led Zeppelin, “Upon us all a little rain must fall.”

8 The Things I’ve Lost: Revised A pink pen with a fuzzy ball on the top: at the second-grade book fair that I could have sworn was stolen from me. A pair of blue heart-shaped glasses: at the local fair with my friend at the time, Bailey, who helped me look for them for hours. My first kiss to a boy named Christopher in front of the school library when we were in kindergarten because that’s what you do when you’re in love. A piece of my childhood after having to be the older sister I am and comfort my siblings from mom and dad screaming at one another. A set of parents who were only together because they got pregnant with me at seventeen. My childhood home turns out that’s what happens when you can’t pay rent and a divorce at the same time. My plastic Disney princess vanity that my mother decided I was too old for and couldn’t bring with us in the move. My belief that hospitals couldn’t be scary at age eight, after being admitted and learning I have a benign heart murmur - a hole in my heart. My spot on my little league soccer team because of the hole in my heart. A copy of Junnie B. Jones: that I “accidentally” threw out of my mom’s car on our way to Kansas City during a temper tantrum over my brother touching my foot. My uncle, when he joined the United States Army and was stationed in Hawaii. Our house, again, since my mom had gotten remarried, and he lived an hour away from my hometown. My weekend bag that I was supposed to take to my dad’s house but left it at my mom’s house, so I was stuck wearing the same outfit for three days. The first softball game I’d ever played because I truly did not care. My first phone and let me tell you my mom was livid. My first, and only, stepparent since emotional abuse is a bad thing. Another house since my ex-stepparent owned the one we were living in. The popularity I had in middle school because I wasn’t a cheerleader anymore. My first best friend, Ashlee Mann, because all she cared about was being popular. Fifty dollars for

9 breaking a Cello bow in Orchestra class because I could just never sit still in that class. My passion for art because I, in the words of my art teacher, “Will never make it as an artist”. The thought I had to become a mother and start a family of my own one day after watching a video of a woman give birth in my health class. The apartment house in Goddard since the landlords never took care of it, and we couldn’t stand freezing to death anymore since the heater never worked. Over ten inches of my hair since I wanted to be different from all the other freshman girls. Many, many, more friends after coming out to them as a lesbian. The invite I had to a friend’s birthday party since it was my dad’s weekend to have us, and we could never do anything on his weekends. My faith in Christianity after my youth pastor lectured my youth group about how disgusting it is that the LGBTQ+ community ruined the rainbow because they took something beautiful that God created and used it for unholy symbolism. An envelope full of money that my dad had to dig through the trash to find because that was the month's rent money. Our house, again, but this time it was going to be different because this is our last move, or so we thought. The fact that I thought I knew about American history but learning I was wrong in my Junior year APUSH class. My heart, or so I thought, after my girlfriend broke up with me and, two weeks later, had told everyone that she wasn’t gay; she just wanted to sleep with a girl. My belief in the idea of love. Getting attached to people: my mom was back in the dating scene and would bring back a new guy for us to meet almost every week along with the friends and relationships I had lost. My status as an A+ student after letting my grades drop because of all the stress that I was dealing with. A copy of “To the Salt and Sea” that my mom had to eventually pay twenty dollars to the library because I never found it. More friends because they had graduated and were leaving for college. My sanity, after my parents told my siblings and I that they were getting back together, which I should’ve been happier about, but knew they weren’t getting back together because they loved each other, just like the first time. My self-confidence because no one likes someone who just brags about themselves all the time. My best friend of three years, who had promised that he would never leave me, for his new girlfriend. Amelia, our Pitbull puppy whom the neighbors claimed to be “unsafe” for the neighborhood. Around a gallon of blood which was donated to the red cross ever since I learned I had an O-negative blood type. The last quarter of my senior year due to a stupid pandemic that changed

10 my life in more ways than one. My sanity, from being stuck in a house with my family all day every day for over two weeks. My fun job at the movie theater because all businesses were closed due to the stay-at-home order. The last chance I had to go to prom because my junior year I had broken my ankle and couldn’t go. The scholarships I’d earned from my dream university because I now couldn’t afford to pay tuition fees. The feeling of accomplishment you gain from walking across a stage to receive your diploma-- a feeling which I have yet to experience. Another house because we, once again, couldn’t afford to live in the one we were living in, but this time we were moving back to my hometown. My real hometown: the place where I grew up and flourished as a human, all to downgrade to redneck nowhere. All the friends that said they would stay in touch with me, but never did. The skin from my toes from doing the one thing that made me happy anymore - Colorguard. The belief that all adults had their shit together: spoiler alert, they don’t. A gold wallet: which was lost on my first clubbing adventure. The insecurities that would hold me back from doing certain things or wearing certain clothes – not all of them but some. Two hundred dollars, well spent, for my first ever plane ride to Denver, Colorado. The way I thought and processed the world: I’m a much more open-thinker and learned how to gain factual evidence which wins a lot of arguments. The thought that I had to always have a plan for myself and my future, and now I have decided to let life take me wherever it wants me to go.

11 Not Everyone Travels the Same The air was dry and chilly as the early November air swept across the not-so-empty parking lot. Riley pulls her oversized jacket closer to her body as to try and escape the sharp wind nipping at her body. It was no surprise how busy the Kansas City International Airport was considering it being the holidays and everyone in a rush to get to their loved ones. And as Riley entered the bustling airport, she had realized that a crowded parking lot was the least of her worries. Standing at a whopping five feet two inches and only weighing one hundred and twenty pounds it was easy for the young adult to feel small and scared in overly crowded places. Having traveled many years in the past for family vacations Riley was not a newcomer to flying, but this was her first time flying alone without the comfort of her family around her and being recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder did not help her worries. Stepping into the terminal building Riley was instantly immersed in swarms upon swarms of people making her heartbeat heavily in her chest. Ducking her

12 head and walking with the flow of people, Riley headed to the ticket lounge to get her baggage check. She was met with a bored and tired face of the airport employee who seemed like he would rather be anywhere than at work for the holidays. “Is this your only bag?” he asked her with a disinterested tone. “Y-yes this is it” she stammered hating the fact that she was struggling to speak even after rehearsing her responses in the car on the way to the airport. But if the airport employee gave any notice to her obvious discomfort, he didn’t speak upon it. The employee didn’t say anything else as he put the ticket onto her suitcase and handed Riley her boarding pass and then sent her away without much as a simple ‘Happy holidays’. In all honesty, Riley was kind of okay with the silent interaction with the ill-mannered employee, the less she had to talk the better. ‘Okay’, she thought. ‘Luggage done. Now onto the real challenge, security.’ Security has always been, in Riley's opinion, the worst part of the flying process. She couldn’t describe why she felt this way, probably something to do with the possibility of making a slight mistake that could lead you into a jail cell, but she would never say that out loud. With her parents it was easy, let them talk to the TSA agent, put your stuff in the box and just walk, but for some reason, the

13 thought of having to talk to that agent made Riley’s heartbeat even harder. The line for security stretched across the airport which only freaked her out more, only delaying the torment she was about to ensue. Standing in line Riley started, unconsciously, picking the skin from her fingernails. A bad tick that she developed over the years that her therapist said was her mind's way of releasing some of the anxiety that she felt. Her therapist did give her some methods on how to combat this habit, but at a time like this she felt relief in the comfort of picking her nails. By the time Riley had made it up to the front of the TSA line her nails were bleeding, and her anxiety was a fierce feeling consuming her entire body. She stepped up to the TSA agent behind his computer with her ID out and ready to show him. All the agent did was take one glance at her and, without saying one word, held his hand out for the ID which she gave to him with her hand shaking the entire time. She quickly criticized herself for the way her hand shook thinking that the agent would find her ‘suspicious’ and kick her out of the airport and into prison before she could even blink. Riley could feel the half-eaten protein bar she had for breakfast that morning clawing up her stomach and into her throat with the thoughts running through her head. But to her amazement, the agent merely just handed Riley back her ID and directed her over to the security line. Now this part, Riley knew exactly what to do. With a relieved sigh Riley walked over the security line and took off her shoes and

14 placed them, along with her bag, into the bin, and walked through the machine. Once all of that was done Riley finally had the chance to relax a little with some of the tension leaving her shoulders, the worst part was now over and done with. Making her way to the gate Riley finally had a chance to sit down and try to relax. Her plane didn’t take off for another hour, so she had a little bit of time to try to calm herself down before she had to board the plane. Riley’s body was still buzzing with anxiety and the nervousness that came with going through security, but she was still around a lot of people that didn’t help with trying to calm herself down. Just then Riley felt a vibration in her phone indicating that she had just gotten a text message. It was a voice message from her mom, who she would be seeing in about seven hours once her plane lands, she opened the message and was instantly soothed by her mom's voice. “Hey babygirl, I just wanted to wish you luck on your flight back home. I know this is your first flight back home since leaving for college and everyone is so excited to finally see you! I know these past couple of months have been a challenge and exceptionally hard for you, but I am so proud of you for pushing through and growing better. You have become such a strong and wonderful human being and I am so happy that I get to boast to

15 everyone about my amazing daughter. I love you so much Riley and I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” Riley had to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill overhearing her mom’s comforting words. She hated to admit it, but those first few months of college have been hard with dealing with classes, being around new people, and her diagnosis, she didn’t know how she was going to be able to survive. But hearing those words of encouragement from her mom was what made all of those awful memories’ worth it. And it was those encouraging words that Riley listened to over the flight attendants as she was waiting for her flight to take off and see her loving family once again.

16 A Frog Named Buddy Not too long ago, there was a frog named Buddy who lived down by the creek. But don’t be fooled Buddy was no ordinary frog. What made Buddy so special you ask? Well, it was that Buddy’s biggest dream in the world was to be able to fly. Now, Buddy knew he was a frog, and that frogs can’t fly, but that never stopped Buddy from thinking about his dream. When he told his friends the grasshoppers about his dream all they could do was laugh at him for his foolishness. “You? Buddy? Flying? That’s hilarious!” They said as they laughed at poor Buddy the frog. “The only chance you have at flying is to get swept away by a vulture!” Buddy hated how his so-called “friends” laughed at him like that. So, he swore to them that one day they would look up and see Buddy in the sky flying with the geese. With determination in his mind and something to prove Buddy set off to learn how to fly. As he was on his way, Buddy noticed a feather on the ground and looked up to see Mother Bird with her hatchlings. While he was watching them, he noticed something horrific happening before his very eyes. Mother Bird was pushing her babies out of the tree! Buddy raced off to where he thought the chick would land so maybe he could save them, but then, like a miracle, the baby flew! Buddy watched in astonishment as the bird flew with grace and elegance like its mother. And then Buddy had the greatest idea ever. If all the hatchling had to do was jump out of a tree and fly, then he could do that too! It was simple! So, Buddy, with much difficulty, hopped and made his way up the tree right to Mother Bird. “Mother bird! Mother Bird!” Buddy yelled in order to get her attention. “Oh Buddy, how marvelous it is to see you again.” “Thank you, Mother Bird.” Buddy said to her. “As much as I love seeing you dear may I ask why you ascended your way all the way up my tree?” Mother bird asked with slight concern.

17 “I was just on the ground and looked up to see one of your babies flying! And all you had to do was push them out of this tree. It's my biggest dream to fly, so I figured if you just pushed me out of this tree then I’ll be able to fly!” Buddy stated with excitement in his tone. “You really want me to push you off this tree, so you’ll fly. Buddy I don’t know dear. My babies have feathers and wings that help them to fly, and you’re just a frog.” She said. “But Mother Bird this is my biggest dream ever, and if I just believe enough then I’ll be able to fly.” Buddy said with sheer confidence. “Okay dear if you insist.” Mother Bird said. So with that done Buddy stood at the end of the branch ready for the push from Mother Bird. “Okay dear, we’ll do this on the count of three, okay?” Mother Bird asked. “Yes ma’am!” Buddy said with excitement. As he was standing at the end of the branch Buddy finally looked up and realized just how tall Mother Birds Tree was. Fear instantly filled him all the way from his head to his toes. One Buddy didn’t know if this was a good idea anymore. Two Maybe flying wasn’t such a great idea after all he thought as he looked down at the far away ground. Three “No! Wai-” Buddy yelled as to try and stop Mother Bird, but it was already too late. In mere seconds Buddy was falling from the huge tree and plunging to the ground at a rapid rate. All Buddy could do was scream and yell as his limbs flung everywhere, trying to grab something to save himself, but it was no use. The ground came faster, and faster with no stop ever coming.

18 Until by some miracle, Buddy didn’t hit the ground. Was he dead? Buddy thought. Buddy decided to finally open his eyes and what he saw was nothing less than perfect. A mixture of burnt oranges and light pinks filled the creek’s sky in a beautiful sunset that, until now, Buddy never got to see on the creek’s floor. Did he do it? Buddy thought. Was he really flying by himself? As that thought crossed his mind Buddy looked up and saw none other than Mother Bird flying with Buddy grasping him tightly in her soft talons. And although Buddy wasn’t able to fly on his own, he was more than content to fly with Mother Bird. Because at least he got to touch the sky.