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P A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T YinspirationfromT I P T U E S D A YT I D B I T S O F

M Y F A M I L YI love you all to infinity and beyond. Thanks for inspiring the best of my ideas. dedicated toinspirationfromT I P T U E S D A YT I D B I T S O F

C O N N E C T I O NP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

Find out what your child’s favorite nick name, petname, or term of endearment might be. Then use it. This is a simple but great way to show them youlisten and respond. This is a small step towardconnection.

Having fun together is a great way to connect withyour child. Need a simple and free idea?! Play a gameof family hide and seek in your house. It’s a great wayto let loose and have a little time for laughs! It’s asurprising hit!!

Find out what your child prefers you not to callthem. Then avoid those names they dislike or areembarrassed by! This shows them that you listenand care about how they feel.

Learn the art of asking open-ended questions. It'seasy to fire questions at a child about their day,friends, or thoughts going back to school. Insteadask questions that allow them to think, reflect, andthen answer. It shows you truly care.

Don’t get overwhelmed with “all the things” you think you“should” be doing. Focus on making the first 6 minutesand the last 6 minutes of your child’s day positive, calm,understanding, and loving. This leads to connection!

Prioritize quality time together. Schedule regular,uninterrupted, 1:1 time with your child to engage inactivities they enjoy. Also, create shared experiencesas a family that go beyond school and athletic events.

If you want your child to talk to you about thingsthat matter, they need practice talking about thingsyou might think don’t matter. How are you engagingwith their interests and more trivial details?

Teach your children about the different personalities.Understanding themselves will help them grow intheir strengths. Remember to keep talk about theirtraits positive, so that even struggles are just areas topractice and grow.

Quality time is a gift to most children, especially if that’stheir love language! Consider giving gifts that are time doing things together, rather than toys they tire of!

Growing boys love to show you how tall they’regetting, how much hair they’re growing, and howstrong they’re getting. Take time to engage in thesediscussions with wonder and amazement. Justaround the corner, they won’t be sharing so easily.

Make a point of telling your child they can ask you at anytime to talk, and you will always take time to listen. Beprepared for them to test you at bedtime a couple timesor during a busy moment. But take the time. It matters.

Sometimes, your child needs to try something new,something that they may like...and you aren’t so sureabout. Don’t be afraid to give it a shot! Of coursesafety and morals matter, but there’s still room togrow! (You just might find you like curly hair!)

Teach children early about the differingpersonalities and that no personality is better orworse than another. Understanding their siblingswill help them figure out ways to work together,find similiarities, and appreciate differences.

Designate a “special day” plate in your home! This is asmall way to give encouragement, celebrate a success,or boost confidence in your child. (P.S. Our plate is justa round plate that says It’s Your Special Day!)

C H A L L E N G E SP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

When you feel like a child continues to be difficultand defiant, remind yourself that it is an alarm. It issignaling that you need to connect and spend some1:1 time together. Doing that can change a lot!

When your child is having a meltdown, it’simportant to use few words, if any. Understandand validate their feelings, then sit quiet untilthey are regulated and able to handle more.

Big emotions are overwhelming to a child. Help himpick a safe place he can go to find quiet. Put a CalmDown Kit there for him. Use fidgets, sensory tools,magazines, or things that give sensory input. Watchwhat they pick!

Teach your child that they have the right to say“no” to any unwanted physical contact orinteraction. Help them understand it is alwaysgood to talk about something that makes themfeel uncomfortable or unsure.

Help your child learn how to ask for what heneeds. For some children, asking feels bold,uncomfortable, or too hard. Many even fear theNO. Give them practice and reward their effortswith a generous YES!

Pets can often be very calming to a child who is highlysensitive, intense, or struggling with meltdowns.Animals can be like therapy pets to calm when nothingelse works. Make sure your pet is up for the task!

Do your children see you resolve conflict? Let themhear you say, “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.” Let themsee how you speak respectfully when you disagreeand how you make things right.

The next time you feel like getting angry withyour child for being difficult, pause. Instead ofvoicing anger, choose to ask a simple question,“What can I do to help you?” Your child’s notgiving you a hard time, he’s having a hard time!

Don’t be afraid to ask your child the tough questionswhen it comes to thoughts of harming themself. Yourchild needs you to ask the questions so he can talk aboutthe struggle easier. Showing you can handle it, is key tohonest discussion that may be necessary.

Teach your child that it is ok to say no. Allowthem to turn down hugs even from familymembers. Personal safety and confidence inspeaking up begins by practicing boundariesthat are respected by those they love.

Knowing and understanding your spouse’spersonality is useful when trying to get on thesame page of parenting. It will help you learn toaccept and appreciate differences.

Seek professional help when you need it. A greatstigma exists with mental health and seeking help.Show your child a healthy example of getting theappropriate help, just as they would for a broken bone,skin, or allergy issue.

S E L F - C A R EP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

Practice being mindful of your emotions and feelings.Learn to dialogue about them so your child can learnthrough your example. When happy, sad, frustrated,confused, overwhelmed, or worn out…talk about it. Helpyour child learn to identify what he feels.

Practice good self-care. While it may feel selfish orhard to find time for it, you are modeling a good skill.Your child will learn from your example how toeffectively care for their mental health and wellness.

Simply…ask for help when you need it! It may feeldifficult or even selfish, but it’s the most unselfishthing you could do for your child and family. Askingfor help is actually a sign of strength!

One way to keep yourself motivated as a parent isto arm yourself with simple tools and shortcutsthat help you, your child, and family move in ahealthy direction! Read a parenting book, listen to apodcast, or do a workshop! Be inspired!

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential! What are you doingto recharge your soul?! No, a basic, necessary showerdoesn’t count. Be a good steward of your personalresources…do consistent self care!!

H O L I D A Y SP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

A simple Valentine tradition: A small box of chocolatesand a devotion book are a great way to acknowledgethe holiday and encourage a life-long love in your child'slife. And can be a fun tradition to look forward to!

Basic holiday traditions can be a challenge to asensory sensitive child. Make sure that you makenecessary adjustments to the activity if you want themto truly enjoy it and avoid a sensory meltdown.

Make a summer family calendar so your child cansee what is happening. Color coding things can helpmake your schedule more visual and can decreasethe stress or anxiety as you see what is ahead.

The Fourth of July is a great opportunity to teach ourchildren to give thanks for the freedoms we get toenjoy and all the things that keep those freedoms inplace. It's a day for an attitude of gratitude!

Fall is a special time of year. Make time to do thoseseasonal activities that can be free and fun traditions!Stomp in the leaves, notice all the colors, and enjoy theexciting snacks for the season.

Halloween can be a trying time with sensory issues.Pay attention to what your child may need during thisvery sensory intense holiday. If they don’t want todress up or choose to quickly take stuff off...it’s ok!

Have a holiday huddle to talk about expectations,concerns, needs, and plans for holidays. Knowingahead of time how to plan, prepare, and adjust isimportant to making holidays work with any child, butespecially one who is highly sensitive, intense, oremotional.

Classroom holiday parties can be very difficult forchildren who need structure and routine. Help yourchild by having foods available at school that work withdietary needs and be present if it helps your child.

At the start of Christmas program week, not the nightof….work with your child to pick and prepare theirclothes. Having a choice between two options is a greatway to increase their feeling of control and cooperation!

Hold a family huddle, just like a sports team would,and establish your game plan for Christmas! Whatare some gift ideas? What special traditions do youwant to enjoy together? Where will you be? Make aplan to limit holiday stress and increase fun!

Keep things simple! Your children will appreciate eventhe simplest of traditions, like reading the Christmasstory or donating toys or clothing to those in need.Don’t stress over complicated or costly things. Just.Keep. It. Simple.

A C T I V I T I E SP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

Swinging can be a great way to give your childsome helpful, healthy stimulation and sensoryinput. In fact, it s really good movement for achild’s brain. Try it out, unless of course, your childavoids it! Never push sensory input they avoid.

Be intentional and play games with your kids. This is agreat time to work on (and model!) executive functionslike taking turns, waiting, and managing emotions. Andit’s a great way to model internal dialogue outloud.

Instead of getting frustrated when your childrendon’t play, take a few minutes to model how touse the toy or a new creative or fun way to enjoyit! It can be a great way to jumpstart their play.

Teach little ones how to make pudding with theshaking method to burn some energy. Movementcan be a great way to help sensory needs. Easyfamily dessert with fun toppings…a bonus!

Playing games with a highly emotional or highlysensitive child can be challenging. Take time to playgames 1:1 when the stress of siblings, winning vslosing, or strategy is lower. Then model healthyself talk with what you say when you are frustrated.

Need a fun idea for a school snow day?! Makesnow ice cream! It’s one of our family’s favoriteactivities! Just be sure to scoop clean snow!! Itmight be an easy tradition to start in your home.

V A C A T I O N SP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

Have a little “huddle” prior leaving your childrenfor a trip. See what little concerns they may havethat you hadn’t considered before! Then tuckaway a little note or treat for a fun surprise!

TOPFAMILY VACATIONSW I T H A H I G H L Y - S E N S I T I V E O R I N T E N S E C H I L Dtips

Take alongfidget toysthat can helpcalm or busychild.Travel and transitions can be hard. Theycan both involve waiting, feeling bored,and the unexpected...all of which can betriggers for some kids. Help by bringingsensory tools to ease these times.

Have a goodschedulewith built indown timeandflexibility.Children may resist if they are triggeredby overload. Talk about your daily planand also read their cues if the activitiesplanned are too overwhelming.

Let child be in control ofsome appropriate things. A child who struggles to control hisemotions may crave control of other things.Be mindful and find appropriate things theycan be in control of and offer options whichgives them a sense of control.

Find time for1:1connectionwith eachchild.Finding 1:1 time with each child, even insmall 10-15 minute increments on a vacationcan help increase their connection,cooperation, and capacity to flex and adjust.Show them you are a good team together!

Understandunique needsof child andtake comfortitems.Take along things for comfort that they areused to, even if you think they are old enoughnot to need them. It may be ordinary like ablanket or stuffed animal, or it might besomething like their usual brand of oatmeal orfavorite cup. They may find comfort in justsmall routines or items or routine use.

Utilizesensoryactivities thatcan help yourchild.Some of the best sensory activities for a highlysensitive or intense child include swimming,jumping, swinging, and being outside. Find timeto enjoy these activities, and you will likely see adifference in how they are coping. Include themin carrying things (like bags or backpacks) aseven this is a great sensory tool.

Working as a team and understanding yourchild's ability to flex, as well as those areasthat you might need to adjust, can helpmake vacations more enjoyable foreveryone. Pack along some extra empathyand calm confidence. You've got this!Remember:

5TOPRESTAURANT EATING W I T H A H I G H L Y - S E N S I T I V E O R I N T E N S E C H I L Dtips

Talk withchild aheadof time aboutwhere youwill go.Plan ahead where you will eat so the childdoesn't build up anxiety and can prepare.Listen to their feedback about where togo. That doesn't mean they get to choose,but try to understand their preferences.

Look onlineto see whatmenuitems areavailable.Children may resist if they are triggeredby the unexpected. Take time to figureout what food options are available or seewhat the restaurant looks like if needed.

Let child be in control ofsome appropriate things. A child may feel like things are out ofcontrol with choice of restaurant or plan,so find things they can be in control ofappropriately (where they sit, food theyorder, drink, who they sit by, etc.).

Bring a snackor smallactivity tohelp whilethey wait.Bring along a small snack (protein likenuts or jerky are great) and a small tableactivity or game (cards, legos, letters,numbers, etc.) to help a "hangry child"wait with less stress.

Understandunique needsof child duringmeal.Sensory struggles can look like behaviorproblems, defiance, pickiness, anddisrespect. Be sure you know andunderstand the things that are a strugglefor your child while eating out. Show grace..

Working as a team and understanding yourchild's ability to flex, as well as those areasthat you might need to adjust, can helpmake eating out an enjoyable experiencefor everyone.Remember:

B A C K T O S C H O O LP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

Communicate with your child before going back toschool about what they want their teacher to know orunderstand about them. Assure them that you willwork together and be a good team to help them.

Back to school can be a great time for starting a newtradition. “Back to school” dates (1:1 with mom andeach child are fun. The child picks where we go to eatand then we go school shopping. This increasesconnection and cooperation!

if you child struggles with after school meltdowns,don’t underestimate the value of a protein snack.You might even send a protein snack in their bag sothey can eat it prior getting home for the day! Proteincan make a big difference for moods.

D A I L Y R O U T I N E SP A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Ytips for

What special 1:1 interaction can you have in the first 3minutes after your child wakes and the last 3 minutesbefore bed? This establishes a good start, greatending…and connection!

Look for ways your children are getting along, helpingeach other, encouraging each other, or respondingquickly with willing hearts. When they are “caught doinggood” you tell them to put a marble or stone in the jar!

Do you have a child who’d rather get up and play insteadof eat?! Look for small ways to make meals fun! Eatyogurt or applesauce with a straw. Add a few sprinklesto the fruit or jello. Put ketchup on plate in smile shape.

Catch your child doing right. Tell them how it blessesyou. Noticing the positives helps you see morepositives, and it encourages more of the same!Children thrive when we foster positive interactions.

Take time to observe if your child’s mealtime issuesrelate to sensory sensitivity. Addressing sensoryissues can end mealtime battles! You might besurprised how many “picky” issues have a reason!

For some kids, transitions can be especiallydifficult. Give plenty of warning before achange in routine, and try to stick to apredictable schedule as much as possible.

supportf i n dOften, in the parenting journey westart to feel alone or isolated inwhat we are experiencing. Andyet, if we are in the right circles,we quickly realize others aregoing through similar things.That’s the beauty of a supportgroup! You can ask questions,share your struggles, andcelebrate your parenting winswith others who get it!If you are in need of support, Iinvite you to check out ourParenting With Personality FBOnline Support Group. Parent Support Group Link:https://www.facebook.com/groups/1355086178331900

connectl e t ’ sParent can be one of the greatestblessings and biggest challengesin your life. I get that!And sometimes you just needsomeone who understands thatit can be both!Whether you are navigatingparenting with a neurotypical orneurodiverse child, I know youmay be struggling. You don’thave to walk those roads alone.I’m here to listen, provideguidance, or just offer support.So let’s chat and see how I canhelp! Link for a call: https://pwpersonality.kartra.com/calendar/discovery-call

C O A C H I N G N E E D S P A R E N T I N G W I T H P E R S O N A L I T Y | C A L M C O N N E C T I O N P A R E N T C O A C H I N G P R O G R A MDATE:NAME:How would you rate each of the following as it relates to your home,family, or relatio nship with your child? The to tal of y our scores canhelp deter mine the best or most effective resou rces for you whenconsiderin g parent ing courses, group coaching, or 1:1 c oaching.What is th e curren t level of tension in yourfamily or home? 10 = High1How would you rate your current level ofoverall st ress or anxiety in parenting yourhighly sen sitive o r intense child? 10 = High2What is th e curren t level of your child'ssensitivit y or emo tional intensity? 10 = High 3How would you rate your doubt/stress inunderstand ing your child/his needs? 10 = High4How high i s your s tress or pressure to stay cal mwhen your child is angry/intense? 10 = High5How would you rate your stress/anxiety whilespending t ime with your child? 10 = High6How would you rate the level of hopelessnessor despair you fee l currently? 10 = High7How would you rate the current level ofdistance/d isruptio n you feel in your connectionwith your child? 1 0 = High8How would you rate your current need forhelp, supp ort, or resources? 10= High9How motiva ted are you to work hard and makenecesssary changes ? 10=High 10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10__ /10Q U E S T I O N S S C O R Eassessment

Visit ParentingWithPersonality.com or message at m.me/jami.kirkbride to connect.I’m excited to help you find the support you need!recommendedresourcesBelow you will find some of the parenting resources available to you through ParentingWith Personality. Your score on the assessment will help give you direction in choosingthe resource or support that can be most effective for your current needs or issues. Not sure of your next step, that’s okay, we can schedule a call to figure it out.1-35--ENTRY LEVEL RESOURCESScoring in this range indicates that you do not have bigdisruptions or difficult issues. At this level, you would probablybenefit from personality courses/coaching that make you feelmore effective in learning about both you and your child'spersonality, as well as strengths, struggles, and needs. You wouldenjoy our online or on-app personality courses, strategy sessions,and family resources.36-70--GROWING NEED RESOURCESScoring in this range indicates that you could utilize the help andresources of our parent coaching at a more involved level. You wouldbenefit from group or 1:1 coaching. You may like learning aboutpersonalities, sensory needs, and mental health issues with others insimilar situations or, you might prefer the focused help on issues specificto your child and family. Either way, coaching will be a great tool to help.71-99--HIGH NEED RESOURCESScoring in this range indicates that you are likely feeling a greatdeal of stress, anxiety, and disruption as you deal with yourintense and highly sensitive child. You, your child, and your familywould benefit greatly from having someone who could walk withyou as a 1:1 coach, as you figure out specific strategies for yourfamily that can calm the chaos and bring some calm, confidentconnection.Helping You Do the Hard Work and Heart Work of Parenting