Karen Clark NagyBeyondLife Skills
Bringing up children is not easy.There is no user manual.No instructions. No directions.Nothing. Zero. Zip.
So, you are not ready forwhat's to come.As that sweetlittle cuddly baby grows,you have no cluewhat to expect,or how to handlethe many challenges.Uh oh...what challenges?
Well, you willeventuallyfind out...when...They manipulate.They protest.They ignore.They demand.They mock.They say NO.They do not listen.
Not to mention...kick, scream, bite, and hit.Yet, they are just testing you.It's how they learn todeal with their world.And, it's normal.Unfortunately,these growing painsare YOUR pains, too.WHAT TO DO?
REACTYour peace depends on two words.RESPONDIt's literally that simple.
K.I.S.S.Keep it simple, silly.A happy parent,and your child's potential,both depend on it.
IT'SACHOICERESPONDREACTvs
How you manage your emotionsand how you cope with challengesis how your children will, too.Let's dive in and explorereact vs respond.
Reacting creates tensionand a combative environment.React
It's a negative force.You just put yourboxing gloves on.What did you expect?Yes, now it's a BATTLE!
A battle!And the mood shifts to abitter confrontation.They yell back, become aggressive,anxious, and stressed.They shut down emotionally.
They have no where to go.Your child has no grip on reality.They now lack the capacityto be rational, sensible,and logical.The very people theylove and rely onhave turned against them.The intensity is just too much.
Their world is crashingall aroundand when exposed tothese repeated battles,it becomes a learned behavior.Their nature turns intoa reactive messwhen dealing with their own life.They have learnedhow to be reactive.
OK, it's not a pretty picture.For sure.What to do?HELP! Sending out an SOS!Will responding save us?
A response softens the moodand positions you awayfrom a hostile environmentinto an insightful andencouraging atmosphere.It's an opportunity to diminish the growing pains.A shift towards peace.Respond
The KEY is to SHIFTfrom react to respond.
or grab...So before youscream...
or ask why...or threatenand demand...
Before youswear...
Just breathe.You are in charge.You hold the key.Be creative.There are many ways toto shift the moment.Be responsiblyresponsive.
One option is to geton the floor at their level.Speak low and slowand soft and calmand simply say, let's talk.Then ask, is that ok with you?
Give them time to RESPOND.And LISTEN to the answer.Listen and respond back.This is how your child developsself confidence, self love,self regulation, and character.This is using yourcritical thinking skillsand teaching your childto do the same.
Have a heartfeltconversation.When you respond,they no longer feel alone.Instinctively they sensethat togetheryou will workthrough the challenge.
Then move the conversation tosomething else.Anything but them.Reach out and changethe discussionto change the mood.And that's the key...to shift.
Sometimes telling themyou understand how theyfeel is enough.Or share a funny storyabout your dayand then ask about theirs.Find some common ground.Or something tolaugh about.Together.
Reveal a challengeyou had earlier and explainhow you handled it.Ask what theymight have done.The same, or different?Creativity at work!
Or make it a game...Down at their level say,Let's arm wrestle.I'll even just use my pinky.
Or let's play hide and seek for five.Or see who can jump the farthest.Or how about a race to the kitchenand you'll hop on one foot.ANYTHING FUN!Make it a game.It's a diversion.Use your adultsuper powers tochange the mood.
You are creating the shift!From battle to peace.And as your childbecomes aware you are listening,they begin to change.It's huge.YOU are listening to THEM.From their point of viewit's a big WOW!
It will take time to shift.Responding isn't easy at first.Unmistakably, it's NOT easy.Be consistent and give it time.You will learn to be creative.Eventually you will masterthe art of divertingany hostile behaviorinto a place of peace.
You will figure outwhen to use critical thinkingvs the fun game tactic.Or, experiment with your ownapproach to creative shifting.
Your child's agression may linger, but soon they will evolve.Your efforts will not be lost.Give it time. Be consistent. It's a journey.You will both make mistakes,but that's how you thrive.
And it sure beats the heckout of holleringall the time!
It just takes a little love.And of course, patience. A whole LOT of patience.
How do you start?It's your choice.Read this family share booktogether to allow for betterunderstanding.Ask your child for ideas,or how they imaginecreative shifting.Include them.Make it an adventure.
Then, just like a butterflyemerges into the world,your child will learnto spread their wingsand rise to great heights.
Just remember two words.React.Respond.Yes, it's that simple.Soon you willbecome a shift master,and so will your child.Your peace and happinessand your child's potential,all depend on it.
The ExtraordinaryEnd
And a very special thank you to my friend,Dianne McKinney Delcourt,for her editing magic!Thank you for readingThe Shift.
This book is dedicatedto my grandchildren,The Cool Cousin Crew:Bryce, Colt, Cade, and Sage. Leave those reactive battlesto your video games!In real life strive to beresponsibly responsive.And always remember to findThankspirationin everything you do.
Thankspirationis the people and thingsin our lives we aregrateful for.Dare to beextraordinaryby virtue of yourThankspiration!It's my wish for you.
If you areflipped outby my books,please makea donationso I cankeep writing!
COPYRIGHTCOPYRIGHT#ThankspirationThe ShiftKaren Clark Nagy KC PublishingCopyright © 2022 Karen Clark NagyAll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced,scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic formwithout written permission from the author.
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