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Teaching A Reconciliation Seminar Developed by P.O. Box 81662 Billings, MT 59108-1662 USA 844-447-2671 www.aorhope.org

Ambassadors of Reconciliation is a non-profit, international ministry. We equip Christians and their churches for living, proclaiming, and cultivating lifestyles of reconciliation. Our approach is based upon the Holy Scriptures. Learn more about us at www.aorhope.org. This Teaching a Reconciliation Seminar manual, together with the live teaching and presentation of the material, is copyrighted by Ambassadors of Reconciliation (AoR). Information on using copyrighted material is available at https://www.aorhope.org/copyrighted-material. Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. This publication is designed to provide general information on biblical conflict resolution. It is not intended to provide legal or other professional advice. If legal counsel or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. © 2018, 2024 by Ambassadors of Reconciliation. All rights reserved. Ver 11/2024

3 Contents Introduction ..............................................................................................4 1. The Role of the Teacher ....................................................................5 2. Interactive Teaching ........................................................................ 17 3. Telling Stories .................................................................................. 21 4. Preparing for the Seminar .............................................................. 25 5. Selling Resources ............................................................................. 43 6. Sample Stories .................................................................................. 47 7. License and Wholesale Application/Agreement ........................... 63

4 Introduction Who Can Use These Principles? Anyone who teaches! At times, everyone is asked for advice, especially when it comes to dealing with conflict. This course equips the Christian to teach a friend or family member to respond to conflict in a biblically faithful manner. So, every Christian can benefit from this training! Those who serve in leadership roles carry special responsibilities for teaching others. Accordingly, this training is especially useful to: • Pastors, elders, counselors, teachers, and other church leaders. • Professors, educators, and other instructors who equip Christian leaders through colleges, universities, seminaries, and other institutions of higher education. • Attorneys who would like to help their clients and churches use alternatives to civil litigation. • Individuals who serve as informal peacemakers within their families, congregations, and communities. • Parents and children as they grow together in their relationship with God and each other. • People who serve as part of a formal reconciliation ministry in their church, school or other organization.

5 1. The Role of the Teacher [Jesus said,] Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. Matthew 28:19-20, emphasis added Four roles of a reconciler Note that the first role of a reconciler is teaching: • Teaching biblical peacemaking. • Coaching one party at a time. • Mediating two or more parties together. • Adjudicating a decision after hearing both parties at the same meeting. Although teaching is highlighted as the first role of a reconciler, every role a reconciler serves requires teaching. Multiple opportunities for teaching The opportunities for teaching are limitless. Consider the list below only as examples: • Sunday morning Bible classes or adult Sunday School • Sunday School classes for children • Vacation Bible School • Christian day school curriculum • Teaching sessions at a family camp • Retreat Settings • High school, college or university classroom • Small group Bible studies, such as in homes • Staff or faculty meetings or devotions • Parent/Teacher League meetings • A short presentation at an elder’s or congregational meeting • Regional conference workshops • Women’s groups (often seeking speakers for a topical discussion) • Elder and lay leadership training events • Base a devotion on one major peacemaking principle • Coaching someone who is seeking advice on dealing with a conflict • Teaching a full-day reconciliation seminar Consider how teaching applies to the other three roles of a reconciler.

6 Learning styles Most presenters primarily use a lecture-format (auditory). Yet, 85% of learners are visual and kinesthetic. The challenge for teachers is to design presentations to target the 85%. Students learn best when material is presented to accommodate their learning style. Consider these research observations regarding learning styles: • Respectful relationships in a safe environment contribute to long-term retention. Building and maintaining passport (trust) is crucial in teaching. If there is fear, intimidation, or sarcasm, the learners will likely not retain the desired learning. • The brain ties new learning to past learning. These connections are fostered when the facilitator connects the learning to life experiences. Telling real life stories helps make this connection. Remember how Jesus used parables from everyday life to teach new concepts. • Learners need processing time for learning connections to be made in the brain. Well-planned and timely breaks enhance learning. • Effective teachers are energetic and enthusiastic. They create curiosity and use a variety of instructional techniques to engage attention. • Physical movement tied to the teaching enhances learning. “If the body doesn’t move, the brain doesn’t learn.” • Strong initial learning, regular review, and many examples increase the probability that learning will be recalled and applied successfully. Note that the entire Bible is made up of stories about people who applied and failed to apply what God teaches his people. Examples of failures as well as successes provide antithesis that illustrate key teaching points. • Research identifies the average retention of material after 24 hours based on various teaching techniques: o Lecture 5% o Reading 10% o Audio / visual 20% o Demonstration 30% o Discussions 50% o Doing 75% o Teaching to others 90% • The brain has an approximate attention span of 8 minutes with a maximum of 20 minutes. Break learning time into chunks of 20-minute sessions. Separate sections with different material, videos, or special exercises. Towards the end of the 20-minute session, highlight the most important information. The brain remembers the first and last things it is exposed to. Kinesthetic learners learn best by moving their bodies, activating large or small muscles as they learn. Note the value of actively engaging the learners and achieving the highest level of retention when the learners teach the material to others.

7 Appealing to different learning styles The CRAVE formula To keep attention among learners, utilize these keys: • Generate curiosity using novelty or anticipation. • Make information relevant. • Ask questions. • Use variety (invoke physical action also). • Use emotion (the stronger the emotion, the stronger the attention). Power of visuals and color Francis Crick, PhD Nobel Prize Winner, states: “A subject shown about 2500 different color slides for about 10 seconds each could still recognize about 90% of them after ten days.” Use color pictures, such as in PowerPoint presentations, to increase the learning potential of your students. Videos combine visual with movement and story and often evoke emotion. This combination helps the learner remember and thus learn new material. The importance of review Strong original learning is strengthened through regular review, a teaching technique we often overlook. Review increases the probability that the learning will be recalled and applied successfully. Practice makes “permanent” Important skills need to be permanently installed in the brain. Practicing in a variety of ways and contexts reinforces the permanence of the learning. In adult learning, you apply practice through exercises such as small group discussions and role plays. Remember the keys from the CRAVE formula: Curiosity Relevance Asking Variety Emotion

8 Ideas for triggering learning transfer Utilizing multiple techniques enhances your teaching style and helps to meet different learning styles: • Tell a story that illustrates the teaching point • Teach in reference to real life lessons • Video and/or audio clips, including music • Link with previous learning • Writing • Metaphors • Teaching other learners • Success simulation • Physical artifacts • Mental models • Role playing • Explore how learners will use what they are learning in their lives Example: Story about the nurse and the forgiving parents In the sample closing reconciliation story about the nurse and the forgiving parents (from the sample stories), note how many different techniques are utilized in just this one story: • The story illustrates offering forgiveness for a major offense. • This particular story evokes strong emotions as people visualize the parents of a newborn child and the hospital nurse. • The use of the gift box is a physical artifact that will create a lasting memory the listener’s minds. • The wrapped gift box is a strong metaphor for what forgiveness is – an undeserved gift. • The color of the box (red wrapping with white ribbon) symbolizes Christ’s blood and His righteousness. • The story makes a summary point about forgiveness, linking to previous learning in the teaching and people’s personal experiences. • Because the nurse becomes a believer, it shows the potential “success” or favorable result that might come from the miracle of forgiveness.

9 Breaks Take breaks regularly. • Avoid sessions that go longer than 75 minutes during morning and late afternoon. • Immediately following lunch, learning works best if the presenter can limit a session to 60 minutes unless it is very interactive. • Plan a lunch break appropriate for your audience o With approximately 100 people, 45-60 minutes if lunch served on-site; larger audiences require more time. o If lunch is not served on-site, provide 75-90 minutes for people to leave and return. If people are physically uncomfortable, learning suffers. Discomfort can be caused by: • Needing a restroom break. • Uncomfortable chairs. • Insufficient opportunities for stretching and getting out of the chair. • Lack of opportunities to interact with other learners. • Sitting too long for people that are used to remaining active. • Sitting in a position where you need to turn your head to see the speaker or screen for long periods of time (results in neck and back strain). • Thirst or hunger. Exercise: Discussion on breaks Discuss your reactions to the following statements: 1. Resting does not mean that learning isn’t happening. 2. In truth, not resting decreases learning. 3. Share an example from your own experience that illustrates either of the above points.

10 Teaching tools Utilize a variety of resources From Ambassadors of Reconciliation (www.aorhope.org), you can access a wide array of resources available to assist you in your teaching roles. Consider how you might utilize the following: • Proclaiming God’s Forgiveness pamphlet o Point to the diagram for the Development of an Idol or Guidelines for Confession o Ask participants to use the Bible verses on the back page to proclaim God’s forgiveness to a partner • Devotion booklet, Forgiven to Forgive o Use for one of your opening or closing devotions. o Ask a participant to present one of the devotions. • Bible studies o Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation o Go and Be Reconciled: What Does This Mean? o Blessed Are the Peacemakers o Responding to Sexual Temptation in a High Tech Society • Coaching Bookmarks and the corresponding reproducible Bible studies o Anger o Authority o Bitterness o Careless Talk o Confession o Fear, Cravings, and Misplaced Trust o Forgiveness o Identity o Love Others o Suffering • PowerPoint presentations for the Bible studies • Video clips from these DVDs: o Lifestyles of Reconciliation: An Interview with Ted Kober o Peacemaker Parables

11 • Exercises: o Case studies and application questions from Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation o Interactive exercise involving stories about people’s responses to conflict from the Bible from Blessed Are the Peacemakers • Reconciliation skits are excellent resources for teaching and reinforcing biblical reconciliation. Use them in various settings to teach and encourage peacemaking. o Driving Me Crazy! Troy’s overprotective parents are starting to really bug him, especially now that he is learning to drive with them. Requires 4 actors. Takes about 10 minutes. o The Forgiving Father. In Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son, a forgiving father seeks to restore both of his sons. Requires 5 actors including a narrator. Takes about 5 minutes. o I'm the Greatest. Even on the night of the Last Supper, the disciples are arguing again about which one of them is the greatest. Requires 7 actors including a narrator. Takes about 4 minutes. o The Latest Buzz. We often strive to cover up our sin, sinning even more. This skit complements the skit “Nathan and King David.” Uses three actors and a narrator. Takes about 4 minutes. o Nathan & King David. Although King David thought he covered up his affair with Bathsheba, the only one really deceived was David himself. This skit complements the skit “The Latest Buzz.” Uses two actors and a narrator. Takes about 4 minutes. o You Wrecked My Car. What’s a dad to do when his teenage son is found to directly disobey the rules and then deny everything when confronted by the father? Skit requires 2 actors. The first scene takes about 3 minutes. The second scene takes about 9 minutes. • The Young Peacemaker student booklets. o When teaching audiences with children, ask some of the children or teens to act out one or more of the stories featured. • Tell true stories from reconciliation books, such as found in: o Built on the Rock: The Healthy Congregation by Ted Kober. o Confession & Forgiveness by Ted Kober. o Cultivating Lifestyles of Reconciliation by Ted Kober and Ken Sande. o The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.

12 Distinguishing Law and Gospel (The narrow sense) For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 When teaching biblical peacemaking, it is easy to lose the balance and distinction between Law and Gospel. Although one can use the terms Law and Gospel in a broad sense (meaning to incorporate all that the Bible teaches), it is important to be intentional about when you use Law or Gospel in a narrow sense. Law The Law sets forth God’s commands, precepts, and expectations. It condemns and punishes sin (Mark 12:30-31; John 5:45; Romans 3:20). The Law is necessary to convict people of their sin and prepare them for repentance. Gospel Comfort and relief are found only in the Gospel, the good news of our salvation in Jesus Christ. The Gospel assures the sinner that God grants forgiveness of sins in Jesus Christ. Through the Gospel, we are empowered to believe in Jesus and live as God’s forgiven children (John 3:16; John 6:63; Romans 1:16; Colossians 1:6). What purposes does the Law serve? The Law is important and necessary when teaching reconciliation. It serves three purposes: • A curb. The Law serves to help restrain violent outbursts of sin, maintaining order and safety in the world (1 Timothy 1:9; Romans 2:14-15). • A mirror. The Law reveals our sin (Romans 3:20; 7:7). • A guide. The Law guides Christians on what we should and should not do to lead a God-pleasing life. The power to live according to the Law comes from the Gospel (Psalm 119:9; Psalm 119:105; 1 John 4:9, 11; see also Luke 10:27). What purposes does the Gospel serve? The Gospel provides what the Law cannot – comfort and hope for the repentant and the power to live as God’s children. • Comfort. Only in the Gospel is comfort found for God’s forgiveness. The Gospel (which literally means “good news”) assures the repentant sinner that

13 he is freed from guilt, from condemnation, and from the bondage of sin. We believers are saved eternally since Christ assumed our full punishment and gave us His righteousness. (See John 3:16; Romans 1:16; 8:1; 10:4; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Galatians 3:13; Colossians 1:13-14). • Hope. The Gospel provides hope in God’s promises that He will be with us always and will never leave nor forsake His children (Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 13:5). We have God’s assurance that nothing will separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39). • Power to live as God’s children. Moreover, the Gospel empowers us to live for Christ (2 Peter 1:3-4; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15; 1 Peter 2:24). For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, emphasis added He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24, emphasis added What are differences between the Law and the Gospel? The Law The Gospel The Law teaches what God commands us to do and not to do. The Gospel teaches what God has done and continues to do for us in Jesus Christ. The Law shows us our sin and God’s judgment. The Gospel shows us our Savior and the grace and mercy of God. The Law is to be proclaimed to all people, but especially to those who do not repent. The Gospel is to be proclaimed to those who are repentant and need the comforting message of God’s forgiveness.

14 Why is it so important that you include Gospel in every teaching presentation? When teaching to a group, remember that people by nature have knowledge of the Law, although it is tainted by sin. With little teaching from Scripture, most people recognize (at least to some point) how they fail to live up to God’s standards in peacemaking. Since we cannot see into another’s heart, we must be careful not to judge whether or not the Law has done its work in people’s hearts. On the other hand, people possess no natural knowledge of the Gospel. Thus, when teaching a group, you need to always include Gospel in your teaching. This may be the first time that a listener in your group (even a long-term member of the church) may actually hear how the Gospel applies to him or her. Moreover, remember that it is the Gospel that empowers us to live as God’s children. The Law, on the other hand, by itself may lead us to despair and desire to sin even more (see Romans 7:7-12). The Apostle Peter reminds us that it is God’s divine power, granted to us through His promises (the Gospel), that enables us to live as His children. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 2 Peter 1:3-4 Peter then goes on to say that when one fails to fruitful in his Christian walk, it is because he has forgotten the empowering promises that are found in the Gospel through the forgiveness of sins: But if anyone does not have them, he is near-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 2 Peter 1:9 Therefore, always be intentional in proclaiming the Gospel in your teaching.

15 Teaching by example Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity…. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. 1 Timothy 4:13, 16 Because you are a recognized leader, not to mention a reconciler, others will watch how you conduct your life. As one who teaches about peacemaking, however, others will especially be watching how you deal with the conflicts in your life. Will you fail? Most definitely, at times, because of your sinful nature. So what happens then? Practice what you teach. • Confess your sins to all who have been affected by your words and actions. • Forgive those who sin against you, also announcing God’s forgiveness. • Be quick to admit your wrongs and weaknesses, always pointing to Christ who strengthens you and offers forgiveness for all. Sermons We See by Edgar Guest (Portions taken from poem; http://sofinesjoyfulmoments.com/quotes/sermon.htm) I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day, I’d rather one should walk with me than merely show the way. The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear; Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear. And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds – For to see the good in action is what everybody needs. I can soon learn how to do it if you’ll let me see it done; I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run. And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true; But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give, But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

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17 2. Interactive Teaching At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4 Jesus knew how to make teaching interactive to help convey learning. Jesus used a child to help His disciples understand his teaching on humility. On the night of the last supper, He washed the disciples’ feet, using a towel and bowl of water. He often began teaching by asking reflective questions. Look for ways to make your teaching as interactive as possible. Audio/visual aids Audio/visual aids can help you connect with people, especially those who are visual learners. Pictures and videos tell stories that can evoke emotions and help people learn and remember key points. Nevertheless, focus on what’s most important. The reconciliation seminar presenter should be able to teach the content without any audio/visual aids. Utilizing teaching aids should not become the priority in the presentation. Transferring usable ideas (content) must remain key. However, audio/visual aids can greatly enhance learning. In our multi-media, short attention span society, brief audio/visual aids are expected in order to maintain people’s attentiveness. On the other hand, poorly utilized audio/visual aids can diminish the overall effectiveness of a presentation. Thus, it is necessary to consider some foundational tips while using audio/visual aids. • Practice any teaching sections that utilize PowerPoint presentations. • Print out an outline of slides for yourself, or insert a copy of each slide in your teaching outline. • Be familiar enough not to depend on looking at the screen. • Test the actual projector and screen in advance and make adjustments as needed.

18 o Check each seating area to see if participants will be able to see your screen. Sit in chairs throughout the presentation area. Have someone sit in front of you and another person stand in your place. Can you see the screen? How low on the screen can you see? o Keep words high on the screen in situations where the bottom of the screen may be obscured. o Check the colors of your words and backgrounds. Not all projectors are the same. Adjust colors in your presentation so that they are visible on the projection you are using. Video clips Be intentional when using video clips. • Choose videos with your specific audience in mind (some videos are not appropriate for every audience). • Don’t use too many in one day (one or two in each session between breaks may be all that’s necessary for a full day; use just one for a shorter presentation). • Keep them short. Use only what is necessary to make your teaching point. • Tie video clips into your teaching section. Use a statement or question that helps your listener understand why you are using this clip. • Test the equipment for sound and video prior to use. Make certain that the videos work with your equipment. If they don’t work seamlessly, delete them from the presentation. Substitute a story or another interactive exercise. Kinesthetic learning Use special exercises to keep people physically engaged. The brain retains more when the body is moving. • Small group discussions create opportunity for everyone – some people are less inclined to speak in large groups. Small groups engage those who might otherwise remain quiet. • Large group discussions allow for interaction including asking questions. Although not everyone speaks up, often someone making a point or asking a question reflects others’ thoughts. Plenary groups can also summarize learning from small groups, reinforcing key points. • Partner exercises involve everyone. You may have people work in pairs or do a short role-play. A few well-chosen clips result in better learning than utilizing many clips, some of which are not that impactful.

19 • Case Studies combine story-telling with discussion. Well-chosen case studies help people relate to real-life experiences and demonstrate how to apply new learning. • Provide opportunity for people to write something. While not everyone takes notes, you might ask participants to reflect on a question and write their answer down before discussing it in a small or large group. Fill-in-the-blank can meet this need. But there are some disadvantages to using this technique throughout a seminar guide: o Some people actually resent too much fill-in-the-blank. They feel it is degrading, and thus distracts from their learning. o Some may miss the answers for a blank, thus distracting them from other points in the presentation until they can get that blank filled in. o Because some may not write in their blanks, their seminar guide becomes useless and they discard it when the seminar is over. • Use “sticky notes” for people to post their thoughts at the end of a section to reinforce learning. • Pay attention to time limits. Don’t allow your exercise to go over time. The offense of not respecting people’s time will diminish their overall learning experience. • Music is a powerful kinesthetic activity. The rhythms, the melodies, and the singing with others all reinforce the main teaching while involving physical activity. You may want to use hymns or songs for devotion times and to end breaks. If so, keep these in mind: o Help the audience see how the lyrics reinforce the teaching. o Choose songs familiar to your audience and that they enjoy singing. o Best when you have accompaniment available. o Be sensitive to conflicts over style of music (remember the Christmas Hymns story!) Stories Tell stories to illustrate and make teaching applicable. • Personal stories of your own struggles with conflict. • Stories of others in conflict, being careful to protect confidences. • Bible stories (many people in today’s churches don’t know the stories well). • Video recorded stories from Peacemaker Parables or Lifestyles of Reconciliation: An Interview with Ted Kober. Consider the power of music in media commercials. How many jingles can you sing? (Even some you hate!)

20 • Stories from books (e.g., Built on the Rock: The Healthy Congregation, Confession & Forgiveness, Cultivating Lifestyles of Reconciliation, or The Peacemaker. • Stories from articles1. Exercise: Discussion on kinesthetic learning With a partner, discuss the following questions. Provide brief answers, covering the questions quickly. Jot down your key thoughts. 1. Why is it important to provide handouts, such as copies of the Bible study seminar guide or Proclaiming God’s Forgiveness pamphlet or Coaching Bookmarks for people in your audience? 2. How does writing notes or filling in a few blanks aid learning for some people? 3. List three teaching aids available from Ambassadors of Reconciliation. ____________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ 4. How can hymns or songs be used to reinforce teaching? Reviewing the Learning Styles on page 2, discuss why that might improve learning. 1 For example, see Articles on Ambassadors of Reconciliation web site www.aorhope.org.

21 3. Telling Stories And he was teaching them many things in parables (Mark 4:2). It is no accident that the Bible is full of stories. One third of Jesus’ words in Scripture are stories. Our Creator designed us to learn and share and connect through stories. Story-telling is a powerful way to teach. Without stories, people are likely to not remember much of your presentation. It’s how we connect and relate to one another. Stories evoke emotions and help us relate to our own experiences in life. We learn from each other as we live through each other’s stories. The effectiveness of your teaching on reconciliation depends on how well you can tell reconciliation stories. Preparing the story Effective story telling does not happen by chance. Good story tellers intentionally prepare their stories with purpose, design, and practice. Tell a story for a planned purpose. • How will this help teach a point I’m making? • Prepare a story to reinforce each major section of teaching. • Open your presentation with a story. • Use a story for a powerful close to your presentation. Begin the story with a succinct hook. • Ask a question. • Make a short statement. • Say something unexpected – so that the person listening will want to hear what’s coming next. Continue to draw your audience into the story. • Provide enough details for them to picture the situation in their mind. • Avoid more details than are necessary – you’ll lose your audience. • Be intentional about the length of your story. Prepare so that you do not ramble or lose attention.

22 Invoke people’s emotions. • Make the story relate to something in your listeners’ lives. o While personal experiences, backgrounds, and cultures may vary, remember that people are people – We all relate to emotional experiences! • Connect to their emotions. o When emotions are engaged, it makes something memorable. o Clicking into their emotions connects you to them. • Signs you have connected to emotions: o Laughter. o Tears. o Audible sighs or gasps. o All eyes are fixed on you – return eye contact with individuals in the audience Prepare the story with a surprise ending. • Build anticipation. • Use a story with a twist or surprise ending. • The unexpected makes it memorable. Practice telling your story In order for your story to flow and seem natural, practice your delivery. Write it out, word for word. • Don’t write it as you would write – Write it as you would speak. • Make it your own. If telling someone else’s story, tell it in your own words. Consider the tempo of the story. • Speed up to create anticipation. • Slow down to emphasize something or create suspense. Planned pauses are as important as words! • Provide a few seconds of silence to give people a moment to think after a key thought. • Pause to create excitement, suspense, or reinforce a point. • Plan to wait for people’s reaction – laugh, sigh, cry. You don’t want to cut their reaction short, and you don’t want them to miss what’s coming next. • Pause to let something sink in – especially a new or unusual thought.

23 Intentionally change your volume and energy level. • Emphasize key points. • Keep interest. • Build curiosity. • Create tension. Practice presenting out loud in front of a mirror or video. With today’s technology, you can use your phone or computer to video record and play back your story. • Plan your body language. • Practice your gestures. • Watch yourself to eliminate unnecessary or unhelpful body movements. • Intentionally communicate with facial expression. Practice the rhythm of telling your story. • Remove unnecessary details that bog down the rhythm. • Be intentional about the speed of your talking. Memorize your stories and your delivery. By practicing, you will be able to memorize the delivery of your story. • Don’t be dependent on notes. • By memorizing, you can maintain eye contact with your audience. • Eye contact keeps your audience on edge. Prepare stories for answering questions As you coach and teach, some of the same questions will arise in your presentations. Questions are an important way for the people in your audience to interact with you, and this interaction improves overall learning and impact. Plan ahead by identifying some of the questions that are likely to be asked. Next, consider how the story of an actual event can illustrate your answer. Preparing stories for questions will help build credibility based on your experience and anticipation. More importantly, the stories will help the audience, especially the person asking the question (and others who had a similar question in their minds) be impacted by your answer. A fun way to build anticipation is tell your story in two parts. End the first part at a critical place in the story, then save the rest of the story until later in the session, especially after the next teaching point.

24 Opening your presentation When you begin speaking, you have 15 seconds to grab people’s attention . . . or lose it. Many speakers unwittingly lose people’s interest by saying things they believe are expected or polite when they begin to talk: • Thank you so much for inviting me to speak. It is an honor . . . • I’m so glad to be here today. . . • I bring you greetings from . . . • Let me tell you about myself . . . [describing your credentials for this topic] Avoid these dull and expected openings. Instead, your first words should be a question or statement that will lead immediately into your opening story. A story is a powerful way to engage people immediately. Jumping into the story brings them to attention and increases their interest. Since you only have one opportunity to make a first impression, do it with a great story. A well-prepared opening story paves the way for people to want more. It’s the first thing people hear from you. And they will expect more good stories to follow. If it is appropriate for you to describe your credentials, weave it into your presentation. Tell different aspects of your background as part of other stories that relate to the various points you are making. If you need to acknowledge someone who introduced you and described your background, simply say, “Thank you, Nancy.” Then pause briefly (to build anticipation) and confidently make your opening statement or question. You can offer other greetings later in your presentation. Close with . . . What else? A great story! Just as your opening engaged your listeners, closing with a story leaves them with the last emotion you’ll engage. It puts the finishing touch on any well-prepared presentation. Send them home with a memory that summarizes a key point of your teaching on reconciliation. Since you only have one opportunity to make a first impression, do it with a great story.

25 4. Preparing for the Seminar From your first contact with a potential host, you will either build passport or lose some. Your preparation makes a difference in how well your presentation goes and what impact it will have on your intended learners. Develop a checklist to guide you. Seminar Administration Checklist Speaker Preparations q Establish mutual expectations in a written seminar agreement. q Order seminar guides well in advance. q Order well in advance resources you intend to offer for sale. Promotion (Assist host in planning these activities) q Publicize seminar in every bulletin, newsletter, or other publications. q Announce seminar during worship services, Sunday school, and meetings. q Hand out flyers when announcing seminar. q Ask people to register in order to plan materials and refreshments. q Tell people that the seminar is helpful for all their relationships (family, work, friends, neighborhood, etc.) – Everyone can benefit! q Don’t forget to invite teens. Facility Requirements q Plan seating capacity for largest number expected. q Arrange tables and chairs for visibility and participant comfort. Sit in each seating area to view screen. q Check sound system – microphone and videos. q Standing lectern or table (a music stand works well!). q Check projector and display screen for PowerPoint and videos. q Find small table for computer to use as a monitor. q Provide refreshments including water for attendees (either on tables or at back of room). q Plan registration table (attended by host) with chairs and a waste basket. q Have someone on-site to deal with AV needs, heating/cooling, etc. Refreshments and Meals (Assist host in planning these activities) q Ask host to keep it simple. Perhaps just offer coffee, tea, and ice water available when guests arrive and available during morning and afternoon breaks. May also provide pastries (morning) and fruit or cookies (afternoon). q If lunch is provided, please note that information in your seminar promotion/announcements. Registration (Assist host in planning these activities) q Receive and record registrations and payments (if applicable). q Provide name tags for all registrants (this is especially helpful to the speaker). q Create a registration list to be used at the seminar registration table. q Hand out seminar guides and Proclaiming God’s Forgiveness pamphlets.

26 Clarifying expectations Unmet expectations lead to conflict. To avoid harmful conflict caused by unmet expectations, it is critical to clarify the needs of your seminar host and your needs in advance of any seminar event. As reconcilers know from experience, oral and email communications on their own are insufficient to address a long list of mutual expectations. A prudent reconciler will communicate mutual needs in the form of a written agreement. Note key components of an agreement on the sample included in the next couple of pages: • Names and contact information for both parties • General description and purpose of agreement • Detailed responsibilities of each party o Describe which party is responsible for setting fees or if fees are set. o Describe which party is responsible for providing meals or refreshments o Detail who is responsible for necessary equipment and set up of room • Expectations of deposit, if any • Financial remuneration, if any o NOTE: Remember that as a user of AoR seminar guides, you will incur expenses for the guides, shipping, and handling. • Cancelation provisions • Conciliation clause o A conciliation clause is not only wise, but it teaches by your own example. • Signature of responsible parties, with date and name and titles of signers

27 Page 1 of 2 Agreement for Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation Bible Study Seminar Seminar Host (hereinafter “Host”) Seminar Presenter (hereinafter “Presenter”) Location, Date and Time Agreement The Host and Presenter agree to cooperate in presenting Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation Bible study seminar at the location and date indicated above according to the following provisions: Presenter’s Responsibilities Presenter shall be responsible for the following arrangements: a. Providing Host with information to assist in promoting the seminar; b. Making reservations for instructor’s travel and lodging; c. Shipping and providing all instructional materials for participants, including the seminar guides and the pamphlet Proclaiming God’s Forgiveness; d. Providing the actual instruction for the seminar; e. Providing computer for PowerPoint and DVD presentations. Host’s Responsibilities Host shall be responsible for all local arrangements for the seminar, including: a. Setting the registration fees for the seminar (Host may set fees at its discretion); b. Promoting the seminar; c. Arranging for suitable seminar facilities and equipment, subject to Presenter approval, including: i. chairs and tables for participants; ii. a high quality sound system with wireless microphone; iii. a LED Projector, power cord, stand and screen for PowerPoint presentations; iv. 1/8” stereo plug and cord to connect instructor’s computer to Host’s sound system; d. Receiving and recording all seminar registrations, and providing all registration information (to include name, address, and email) to Presenter within 30 days of the end of the seminar; e. Providing staff during the seminar to take registration, distribute materials, serve refreshments during breaks, assist at the Presenter book table, and otherwise administer the seminar; f. Providing for all participants meals and refreshments for breaks as needed; g. Arranging for any Presenter materials remaining after the seminar to be shipped back to Presenter’s address or another designated location on the first business day after the seminar. Boxes will be prepared for shipping by Presenter (packed, taped, and labeled). Name of Host Street Address City, State Zip Phone: Email: Contact: Name of person and title Presenter name / organization Street Address City, State Zip Phone: Email: Contact: Name of person and title Place where seminar will be held Date: Street Address Time: City, State Zip Lunch provided? Phone:

28 Page 2 of 2 Seminar Deposit and Fees a. To reserve the date for the seminar, Host shall pay a deposit to Presenter in the amount of $XXX (US Dollars), which is due at signing of this agreement. Deposit will be applied toward any funds due to Presenter. b. Host will be responsible for the following expenses related to the seminar: i. $XXX (US Dollars) paid to Presenter as a base training fee; ii. $XXX (US Dollars) per registrant paid to Presenter as a materials fee. This includes seminar guides and Proclaiming God’s Forgiveness pamphlets; i. All travel, lodging, and meal expenses reasonably incurred by Presenter; ii. All promotional and facility expenses incurred by Host, including meals and refreshments. Seminar Cancellation If Presenter cancels the seminar, it shall return whatever deposit has been paid and shall be responsible for any non-refundable, out-of-pocket expenses incurred by either Host or Presenter. If Host cancels the seminar, it shall forfeit its deposit and shall be responsible for any non-refundable, out-of-pocket expenses incurred by either Host or Presenter. (This would normally include items such as printing and mailing expenses and airline change fees, which cannot be refunded, but it would not include other airline ticket expenses that can be transferred to another ticket.) If a seminar is canceled due to circumstances beyond either party’s control (e.g., inclement weather, airline delays, or illness prevents the Presenter from arriving on time), half of the deposit that has been paid shall be refunded, and the parties shall share equally any non-refundable, out-of-pocket expenses. Book Tables Either Host or Presenter may set up informational and/or book tables at the seminar. Host shall be responsible for setting up the tables and for providing support staff to assist at Presenter tables (1 support staff for every 50 registrants). All other expenses and revenue associated with such tables shall be covered or retained by the sponsoring organization. Conflict Resolution The parties to this agreement are represented by Christians who believe that the Bible commands them to make every effort to live at peace and to resolve disputes with each other in private or within the Christian Church (see Matthew 18:15-20; 1 Corinthians 6:1-8). Therefore, the parties agree that any claim or dispute arising from or related to this agreement shall be settled by biblically based mediation and, if necessary, legally binding arbitration in accordance with the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the Institute for Christian Conciliation1. If the parties cannot agree on a mutually acceptable conciliator, the conciliator shall be appointed by the Institute for Christian Conciliation. Judgment upon an arbitration award may be entered in any court otherwise having jurisdiction. The parties understand that these methods shall be the sole remedy for any controversy or claim arising out of this agreement and expressly waive their right to file a lawsuit in any civil court against one another for such disputes, except to enforce an arbitration award. Approved by: Host Presenter _____________________________ Date_________ Date Signature Signature ___________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Printed Name & Title Printed Name & Title 1 Available at http://www.iccpeace.com/Rules/index.html

29 Promoting the seminar Assist your host in promoting the seminar by providing some ideas and reproducible resources. Provide ideas for oral and written announcements (for services, bulletins, and newsletters). A couple of samples are listed below: Sample Announcement #1 Which do you hate more? Everyone at the family Christmas gathering acted like nothing was wrong. But Uncle Bob refused to come because his son Roger and daughter-in-law Barb were invited. Roger and Barb didn’t show up either, for fear his parents would be there. What a way to celebrate the coming of the Prince of Peace! Sharon wondered what she could do. She hated conflict as much as the next person, but she hated the family division even more. Then Sharon attended Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation. She learned the difference between simply resolving a conflict and reconciling relationships. Her uncle and cousin had resorted to conflict resolution by simply avoiding each other. Meanwhile, family relationships suffered. Putting what she learned into practice, she talked separately to her cousin and uncle. The next spring at an anniversary celebration, Uncle Bob, Roger and Barb were all there, sitting together at the table. Everyone took notice. Sharon quietly thanked Jesus for reconciliation and what she learned from Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation. This life-changing seminar is coming soon! Don’t just hate the conflict. Learn how to do more than just conflict resolution. Learn what it means to reconcile. Join us in a one-day Bible study seminar. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation seminar [ Host location ] [ Date ] [ Time ] Call 000/000-0000 to register. Or, register on-line at www.xxxx.com

30 Sample Announcement #2 Got conflict? You’re not alone! No one in our world escapes conflict. It’s part of every day life. Misunderstandings, differences in values and goals, and competition for limited resources can lead to bitter disputes. The Bible teaches that our sinful desires cause fights and quarrels among us (see James 4:1-3). The truth is, sinful people living among other sinners create friction. At home. At work and school. In the community. And yes, even at church! God knew that we would experience conflict, yet He didn’t leave us powerless or alone. He did not simply use conflict resolution to solve our separation from Him. He chose reconciliation. “We also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation” (Romans 5:11). Attend Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation. Learn from God’s Word how to respond to life’s conflicts. Do more than just resolve conflict – learn to reconcile. This life-changing seminar is coming soon! Join us in a one-day Bible study seminar. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation seminar [ Host location ] [ Date ] [ Time ] Call 000/000-0000 to register. Or, register on-line at www.xxxx.com

31 You may also prepare flyers which can be used as bulletin inserts. Sample 1 Front of Flyer !Good Christians never fight … …or do they? It has been years since I’ve talked to my parents, but I still can’t forgive what they did. The pastor needs to go, or we're out of here! With all the fighting we do, divorce seems like the only answer. How could someone who calls himself a Christian treat people the way he does? !Christians can and do fight like everyone else. When we do, relationships wither, businesses and careers suffer, and our witness for Jesus is weakened. You can reverse this pattern. Learn what God has done and is doing for you in His ministry of reconciliation. In one day of Bible study, learn what it means to be reconciled – to God and to others. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation Bible study seminar Date Place Street Address City, State Past participants share: “So practical, but life changing!” “Mom and I reconciled after I took the first step!” “I was moved to tears by the stories of real people in real fights experiencing real healing.” Come, join us to see what good things God has in store for you. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation!!Bible Study Seminar

32 Sample 2 Front of Flyer !Got Conflict? Yo u ’ r e n o t a l o n e ! No one in our world escapes conflict – It’s part of every day life. Misunderstandings, differences in values and goals, and competition for limited resources can lead to bitter disputes. The Bible teaches that our sinful desires cause fights and quarrels among us (James 4:1-3). The truth is sinful people living among other sinners create friction. At home. At work and school. In the community. And yes, even at church! God knew that we would experience conflict, yet he didn’t leave us powerless or alone. He did not simply use conflict resolution to solve our separation from Him. He chose reconciliation. “We also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation” (Romans 5:11). Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation Bible study seminar Date Place Street Address City, State Past participants shared: “The first five minutes I knew this was for me. Boy, do I have conflict! But I also have hope!” “I laughed and I cried, but I am leaving with Christ’s peace.” “So practical, but life changing!” Come, learn how to be a peacemaker in the conflicts of everyday life. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation!!Bible Study Seminar

33 Sample Back of Flyer with Registration Form (Use this as the back for both flyers) !Why Should I Attend? Jesus says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matt. 5:9). Yet, our lives are often anything but peaceful. Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation provides practical ways for Christians to live out their faith, even in the face of conflict. !What You Will Learn •How God empowers you for doing what you cannot do on your own. • How to admit wrongs with godly sorrow. • How to forgive and experience healing. • How to model reconciliation with your children and others. • How to be a peacemaker in your home, workplace, school, and church. !Date & Location Date Place Street Address City, State Time & Cost Registration: Day & Time Meals & lodging provided! Registration Fee: $XXX !Registration Register: Call (XXX) XXX-XXXX On-line at Fill out this form and mail to Submit fee made out to XXXXXXXX or pay when you arrive. Name: __________________________No. of people _____ Address: ________________________________________ _________________________________________ Phone: __________________________________________ Email: __________________________________________ Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation A Bible study seminar

34 Room set up The seating arrangement can enhance the learning or detract from it. For a seminar lasting longer than a couple of hours, provide tables. This facilitates note taking and table discussions. Hotels, churches, and other organizations often set up chairs and tables in standard arrangements, but many of them fail to provide the most comfortable and visible seating. Seating arrangements to avoid Theater style (chairs in straight lined parallel rows without tables) • No tables • Uncomfortable for people in outside chairs to see speaker and screen (turned necks) o !!!!! !!! !!!!!!!! !!!!! !!! !!!!!!!! !!!!! !!! !!!!!!!! !!!!! !!! !!!!!!!! !!!!! !!! !!!!!!!! Classroom style (chairs and tables in straight lined parallel rows) • Uncomfortable for people in outside chairs to see speaker and screen (they have to keep their heads turned leading to stiff, sore necks) o !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! Round tables with chairs (with chairs all around the table) • People seated in front chairs have their backs to the front o

35 Chairs on both sides of tables • Very uncomfortable – requires people to turn their necks for the entire presentation, leading to stiff necks. o ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Arrange for visibility and comfort Consider your audience as you arrange your tables and chairs. U-shape • Use for smaller groups • Facilitates group discussions • However, people on sides need to turn their heads to see o ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Chevron style • Everyone can see the speaker and screen comfortably • Helps people see other participants when speaking o

36 Semi-circle • Everyone can see the speaker and screen comfortably • Helps people see other participants when speaking o Modified round table seating • If using round tables, remove chairs at front of tables to avoid backs facing toward front and turn so that all participants are facing speaker • Round tables are great for facilitating small group discussions • However, using round tables may limit seating capacity of a room o Final thoughts on set up • If possible, place your computer in front of you on a small cart or table, facing you, to use as a monitor. • Utilize a remote to change slides. • Either raise the projection screen or offset the podium so that the speaker does not block the view of the participants. • Use a music stand rather than a bulky podium, which tends to put a barrier between you and your audience. • Know location and operation of heating/cooling controls. Monitor throughout the day by asking participants at break times and adjust as needed. • After your opening, tell people where restrooms are located and how often breaks will be scheduled.

37 Audio/visual system Even in a relatively small room, a sound system with microphone(s) should be provided so that you as presenter do not have to unduly strain your voice while talking for extended periods. • Ask in advance for a wireless microphone (lapel or headset). • Make sure the batteries are fresh and extra batteries are available. • Know location of volume controls. • Test in advance with someone else in room. • Be aware of spots where you may cause feedback (e.g., standing in front of or underneath a speaker while using the microphone). • Plug your lap top into the sound system and test the sound of videos. • Test PowerPoint transitions and slides, including those with video clips. • Check color and visibility of slides and words on slides. o Make certain everyone in audience can see all the words on your PowerPoint slides. o If not, adjust your slides to move words toward top or adjust size. Schedules Adjust your schedule to fit your host or audience’s need. • Allow 15 to 30 minutes for registration (allow more time for larger audiences). • Set a starting time that is appropriate for your audience. (This will vary by location – be sure to ask your host what works best!). • Establish an ending time appropriate for your audience. (Ask your host.) • Check with your host to see what conflicts may exist (major school or community sporting events, weddings, church services, other church activities, etc.) To shorten teaching sections, eliminate the case study discussions. To provide more in-depth teaching, lengthen teaching sections by utilizing the case study discussions. See the sample instructor schedules on the next two pages for a couple of examples.

38 Sample Instruction Schedule Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation 8:30 am to 2:00 pm (with Case Studies) 8:15 – 8:30 am Registration 8:30 – 9:10 Lesson 1: Remember Whose You Are 12 min.2 – Opening Story Beginning Reflections Who am I by Nature (video: 2-year-old girls) 13 min. – Who am I in Christ? What does my identity in Christ have to do with conflict? Who needs to be reconciled? Conflict resolution vs. reconciliation 15 min. – Case Study (9 min. small group, 6 min. plenary) 9:10 – 9:45 Lesson 2: Repent before God 7 min. – Beginning Reflections (video: fighting priests) 10 min. – What Does Conflict Reveal about My Heart and its desires? (small groups and plenary) 18 min. How do idols develop? What is sacrificed to the idols of our hearts? What are some examples of idols of the heart? How can I stop the development of an idol? 9:45 – 10:00 Break 10:00 – 10:37 Lesson 3: Receive God’s Forgiveness 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 17 min. – How does our idolatry lead us into more sin? (two videos: King David with discussion) How can the idolatrous sinner be reconciled to God? 5 min. – Living in forgiveness Remembering God’s forgiveness 12 min. Case Study 10:37 – 11:15 Session 4: Confess to the Other Person 4 min. – Beginning Reflections (video: getting ready for church) 9 min. – How do my sins affect others? Small group discussion on James; Debrief last question 8 min. – What are the dangers of anger? 7 min. – Who is responsible for taking the first step? Confessing to others 10 min. – Guidelines for Christian Confession Personal story 2 Time frames are estimated suggestions. Actual practice will vary by presenter.

39 11:15 – 11:30 Break 11:30 – 12:10 pm Lesson 5: Forgive as God Forgave You 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 10 min. – What are some false substitutes for forgiving? How does God forgive me? How can I forgive as the Lord forgives me? 12 min. – Does forgiveness remove consequences? When should I forgive? How does forgiveness relate to reconciliation? How can I resolve the material issues that divide us? 15 min. – Case Study 12:10 – 1:00 Lunch 1:00 – 1:35 Lesson 6: Restore with Gentleness 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 10 min. – How does a person’s sin harm relationships? What does it mean to restore? 10 min. – What are the Christian’s responsibilities in bringing correction? What if the other person is not a Christian? 12 min. – How does restoring others relate to reconciliation? How is reconciliation related to the Lord’s Supper? 1:35 – 1:50 Closing Discussion & Story Total Time of Presentation (without breaks) Lesson 1 40 Lesson 2 35 Lesson 3 37 Lesson 4 38 Lesson 5 40 Lesson 6 35 Closing 15 Total 240 minutes (4 hours)

40 Sample Instruction Schedule Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation 8:30 am to Noon (without Case Studies) 8:15 – 8:30 am Registration 8:30 – 8:55 Lesson 1: Remember Whose You Are 12 min. – Opening Story Beginning Reflections Who am I by Nature (video: 2-year-old girls) 13 min. – Who am I in Christ? What does my identity in Christ have to do with conflict? Who needs to be reconciled? Conflict resolution vs. reconciliation 8:55 – 9:30 Lesson 2: Repent before God 7 min. – Beginning Reflections (video: fighting priests) 10 min. – What Does Conflict Reveal about My Heart and its desires? (small groups and plenary) 18 min. How do idols develop? What is sacrificed to the idols of our hearts? What are some examples of idols of the heart? How can I stop the development of an idol? 9:30 – 9:45 Break 9:45 – 10:10 Lesson 3: Receive God’s Forgiveness 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 17 min. – How does our idolatry lead us into more sin? (two videos: King David with discussion) How can the idolatrous sinner be reconciled to God? 5 min. – Living in forgiveness Remembering God’s forgiveness 10:10 – 10:45 Session 4: Confess to the Other Person 4 min. – Beginning Reflections (video: getting ready for church) 9 min. – How do my sins affect others? Small group discussion on James; Debrief last question 8 min. – What are the dangers of anger? 7 min. – Who is responsible for taking the first step? Confessing to others 7 min. – Guidelines for Christian Confession Personal story 10:45 – 11:00 Break

41 11:00 – 11:25 Lesson 5: Forgive as God Forgave You 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 10 min. – What are some false substitutes for forgiving? How does God forgive me? How can I forgive as the Lord forgives me? 12 min. – Does forgiveness remove consequences? When should I forgive? How does forgiveness relate to reconciliation? How can I resolve the material issues that divide us? 11:25 – 11:53 Lesson 6: Restore with Gentleness 3 min. – Beginning Reflections 10 min. – How does a person’s sin harm relationships? What does it mean to restore? 8 min. – What are the Christian’s responsibilities in bringing correction? What if the other person is not a Christian? 7 min. – How does restoring others relate to reconciliation? How is reconciliation related to the Lord’s Supper? 11:53 – Noon Closing Discussion & Story Total Time of Presentation (without breaks) Lesson 1 25 Lesson 2 35 Lesson 3 25 Lesson 4 25 Lesson 5 25 Lesson 6 28 Closing 7 Total 170 minutes (2 hours, 50 minutes)

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43 5. Selling Resources When people appreciate the seminar, they seek additional resources to continue their learning. You can offer resources for sale to meet this need. Ambassadors of Reconciliation offers a wide array of resources to equip people for cultivating lifestyles of reconciliation. You can point people to the web site, but you can also offer resources for sale. Displaying your resource table Make your resource table attractive and inviting. Use a dark blue table cloth – it will showcase the light-colored product covers. Utilize price signs that are easy to read. Stack all the resources you have available on the table. “Stack ‘em high and they’ll buy” is the phrase that Gene Walth (Peacemaker Ministries’ prior Resource Director) learned from 20 years experience working for K-Mart. Finally, to sell resources, you need to talk about them during the seminar. Highlight the products you display on the table and explain their purpose. This helps the participants understand what will best serve their needs. Book Table View from the Top Book Table View from the Front If you don’t talk about the products you display, you will pack most of them up and take them home with you. That won’t do you or your listeners any favors!

44 Processing Sales Cash sales with paper receipts Prepare for cash sales by having change ready. Based on actual experience, AoR staff prepare $35.00 change for its book tables as follows: • Two five-dollar bills $10.00 • Twenty-three one-dollar bills 23.00 • Seven quarters 1.75 • Five nickels .25 Total $35.00 You can purchase simple paper receipt forms (with duplicate copies) from an office-supply store. Point of sale apps Different providers offer point-of-sale apps you can use with your smart phone or tablet. As an example, illustrated here are some screen shots of the PayPal app. By entering all the products with their prices and pictures into your items, you can quickly and easily process your sales.

45 When you select an item for purchase, the app automatically totals the purchase, as seen on the left side of the screen. When purchase list is complete, select “Charge” to provide options for payment.

46 PayPal sells different devises to accept credit cards through your device. The PayPal reader (triangle device pictured on right) plugs into the headphone jack and allows you to swipe cards with magnetic strips. The wireless card reader (left) can swipe or read chip cards. For both, a screen appears asking for a customer signature on your device. When processing a credit card sale, there is a small charge on your account for use of the credit card. Payments are credited to your account within a few days. Once the sale is complete, the app provides a way that you can send an email or text receipt to the customer. Wholesale agreement Ambassadors of Reconciliation recognizes that it takes special effort to make resources available. To help make this opportunity available for equipping people in reconciliation, Ambassadors of Reconciliation will provide you with a wholesale purchase agreement for reselling resources.

47 6. Sample Stories Use the following sample stories to illustrate your teaching and engage your listeners. • Opening Reconciliation Story: I Just Want This Over With! Page 45 • I’ll Never Forget Hearing You Say That! Page 47 • The Power of Forgiveness Page 51 • The Development of an Idol – in Ministry Page 53 • Closing Reconciliation Story: The Gift Page 55 The stories that follow are written with large font so that you can use them to practice telling them. Blank pages are intentionally inserted so that you can take a specific story out of this binder for practice. Re-write the stories to put them into your words. Mark your copy to indicate pauses and changes in your speaking volume. Each one begins with a short statement or question that serves as a hook. Avoid the temptation of saying something like, “I heard this story in a seminar…” or, “Now, let me share a story that illustrates this.” As you re-write the story in your own words, plan a hook that ties the story directly into the teaching section where you insert it.

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49 Opening Reconciliation Story: I Just Want This Over With! (approximately 1½ minutes) “I just want this over with. Then I don’t ever have to see him again.” That’s what one of the parties told the mediator as he was preparing him for mediation. It was a business deal gone bad. Once close Christian friends, these two men had become bitter adversaries. One of them was black, and the other was white. “Really,” the mediator responded. “You know, you two are related by blood.” The man was stunned. “Related? How do you figure?” “You’re both Christians, right? You are related by the blood of Jesus, who died for you. You will spend eternity in heaven together.” He was quiet for a moment, and then said, “I guess I need to be concerned more than about my rights. I need to be concerned about my relationship to my brother.” In conflict, we often forget who we are. Actually, we often forget whose we are. “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” (1 John 3:1) By God’s grace, the two men not only came to resolution over their legal issues. They also reconciled under the cross of Christ. Because of what Christ has done for you and for me, we are called to look at conflict and reconciliation in a new light – in the light of the cross of Christ. Opening Prayer (if appropriate) This is your hook. Don’t ruin it by introducing the story or saying the title. Just start with these words. á

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51 I’ll never forget hearing you say that. (approximately 5½ minutes) Forgiving as God forgives is a miracle… especially when the pain is so deep. The church referred a couple for mediation. Bob and Jill had been separated for a year. Divorce seemed imminent. The church had been involved from the very beginning of the separation due to Bob’s violence. Unfortunately, as in many domestic abuse cases, Bob remained unrepentant over his abusive behaviors. Jill was at her end. She desperately wanted the marriage to be restored. Yet, she knew that without a change of heart in Bob, it would be impossible. Prior to the mediation, Jill felt God inviting her to release her anxiety. She entrusted the outcome into her Lord’s hands. Bob initially refused to participate in the mediation and threatened divorce. But he eventually agreed to come. During the first two days of mediation, Bob’s heart was hardened towards Jill. He expressed little empathy or compassion. All in the room felt the weight of his anger seething beneath the surface. When Jill finally shared her pain due to the abuse, she shook and wept as she recounted the gruesome details. Yelling… screaming… swearing… threatening…. blaming… shaming… controlling. Kicking her out of the house… with no money, no cell phone, and no place to sleep for the night except a wood bench in a store. These were just some of the experiences Jill recounted. Prior to this, Bob repeatedly minimized, denied, and dismissed charges of abuse. He offered half-hearted apologies but shifted the blame. He insinuated Jill was equally responsible for the abusive dynamics in the relationship. Up to this point, there had been no real remorse… no sorrow… no repentance. Everyone in the room held their breath as Jill finished, staring down at the table. It was Bob’s turn to speak. He slowly opened his mouth. Tears continued to stream down Jill’s face. Here’s the hook. Again, avoid introducing it with an explanation. Just begin with these words. á

52 Trembling, Bob began. He expressed deep sorrow for his abusive behavior. He hoped he could acknowledge, confess and ask for forgiveness for his sin. He wanted to continue this process of reconciliation. Bob stated his goal was to be able to have a different framework for understanding the impact of his abusive behavior. He wanted to never repeat the abuse again. His violence and abuse were a broken way of doing things. Bob recognized for the first time that it was necessary… and wise… for Jill to live separately from him due to his extreme behavior. He said, “You can’t live with someone like that – it’s not safe, not good, and it’s abusive.” Bob went through the list of all the offenses, one-by-one. He acknowledged the pain and hurt it had caused Jill. At the end, Bob asked Jill to forgive him – for the horrible, abusive behavior that had destroyed their relationship and shattered her spirit. Bob added: “I am grieved and sickened by all of it.” Before Jill could respond, Bob stated he didn’t expect forgiveness that day. It was a long, heavy list of sins he had committed against her. He did not want to pressure Jill in any way to offer forgiveness. He knew he had to come before God and seek His forgiveness too. When Bob finished his confession, the silence in the room was palpable. Bob stared down at the floor, too nervous or ashamed to look at Jill. The mediators waited for Jill, leaning in to hear what she would say. How would she respond after all she suffered? After several long moments, Jill finally spoke, breaking the silence. She told Bob that his actions had crushed her. There was no way to fully undo the damage. Jill shared that when she was crushed by the weight of his abuse, God reminded her that she has no right to withhold forgiveness… because Jill had been forgiven much by her Lord.

53 She confessed that she is redeemed by God. Her debt has been paid in full. Nothing is owed because of Christ’s sacrifice. God reminded Jill before the mediation of just how much He loves Bob. As a result, she proclaimed to him, “I forgive you.” [pause] Bob sat in stunned silence. After a moment, he spoke quietly with tears in his eyes. “I did not expect that. I feel unburdened. I will never forget hearing you say that for the rest of my life.”3 Forgiveness is a touch of life eternal penetrating our deepest sin. It is the flooding in of the Kingdom of God into the broken chaos of our world’s darkness. It is like tasting life in an ocean of corruption… a kiss of resurrection life in a cemetery of death. When one experiences the life-giving power of forgiveness, truly you are changed for the rest of your life. Just like Bob. Your forgiveness from Christ becomes the foundation for you offering the same gift to another (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiving as God forgives is a miracle. 3 This true story is a beautiful expression of God’s forgiveness even in the most difficult of relational pain. However, forgiveness does not mean the elimination of consequences just like David experienced too. This moment was a powerful experience for Bob and Jill, but there was still much work to be done to live out the reality of forgiveness and reconciliation. Even though there was significant reconciliation through the mediation the separation plan only came to an end after Bob demonstrated consistent fruit of repentance over time in word and action. Forgiveness does not rebuild trust instantaneously, but it clears the pathway for the foundation of trust to begin to be rebuilt. (Daniel Teater) Use your own words here to summarize and tie into the section you are teaching. á

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55 The Power of Forgiveness (approximately 4 minutes) Forgiveness is so powerful, so amazing. Join me in singing… Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, Was blind, but now I see. In his book Rumors of Another World, Philip Yancey writes, “Grace is irrational, unfair, unjust, and only makes sense if I believe in another world governed by a merciful God who always offers another chance.”4 He then shares a story about the power of forgiveness. When Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa after being in prison for 27 years, he appointed a commission to bring to trial those who had been guilty of atrocities during apartheid. Mandela wanted to defuse the natural pattern of revenge that he had seen in so many countries where one oppressed race or tribe took control from another. So he set up the Truth and Reconciliation Commission headed by Desmond Tutu. The basic rule was that any white officer who voluntarily faced his accusers and confessed his guilt would not be punished. One day, an older woman was brought face-to-face with Mr. van de Broek, an officer who had been responsible for the cruel deaths of her only son and her beloved husband. The officer recounted how he and other officers shot the eighteen-year-old boy. They burned the body, “turning it on the fire like a piece of barbecue meat in order to destroy the evidence.” Eight years later Mr. van de Broek returned to the same house and seized the boy’s father. His wife was forced to watch as policeman bound her husband on a woodpile, poured gasoline over his body, and ignited it. 4 http://www.heureka.clara.net/books/rumor88.pdf If appropriate to your audience, setting, and abilities, begin this story by asking people to sing the first stanza of “Amazing Grace.” Show the words on a PowerPoint slide and leave the slide up while you tell the story. Here’s the hook. You know what to do! á

56 The courtroom grew hushed as the elderly women was given a chance to respond. The judge asked, “What do you want from Mr. van de Broek?” [pause] She said that she wanted van de Broek to go to the place where they burned her husband’s body and gather up the dust so she could give him a decent burial. With his head down, the policeman nodded in agreement. But she wasn’t done. The woman then added a further request, "Mr. van de Broek took all my family away from me, and I still have a lot of love to give. Twice a month, I would like for him to come to the ghetto and spend a day with me so I can be a mother to him. And I would like Mr. Van de Broek to know that he is forgiven by God, and that I forgive him too. I would like to embrace him so he can know my forgiveness is real." Spontaneously, some in the courtroom began singing “Amazing Grace.” Van de Broek did not hear the song – he was so overwhelmed that he fainted." ‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, And grace my fears relieved; How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come; ‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home. If appropriate to your audience, setting, and abilities, end this story by singing the next two stanzas of “Amazing Grace.” Put the words on a PowerPoint slide. People will most likely join you in singing, a reflection of the story. It could be an emotionally powerful moment.

57 The Development of an Idol – in Ministry (approximately 3 minutes) Even ministry can become an idol. When Rose assumed the role of Children’s Ministry Director at her church, she knew she had some big shoes to fill. Under her predecessor’s leadership, the ministry had flourished and was recognized throughout the community as the hallmark of this suburban church. Rose was determined not to let the ministry falter. She did not want not to disappoint the church leaders who’d given her this opportunity. And, she resolved not to fail the children and families who were coming to know Jesus through this ministry. Rose demanded excellence in herself … and in those on her team. She worked tirelessly and expected the same of her staff. When people failed to meet her expectations, her inner voice told her, “Fine. You’ll just have to do it yourself.” She became distant… reclusive… non-communicative at work. Her staff felt shut out, rejected. At home with her husband and family, Rose was irritable, anxious, and sleep-deprived. In preparing for mediation with her co-workers, Rose came to see that she’d allowed a good desire (for a fruitful ministry) to become an idolatrous demand (to validate her worth). Her all-consuming fear (of failure) drove her to demand perfection of others. Continuing down the slippery slope of idolatry, her co-workers failed to meet her expectations. She judged them as inadequate. She punished them by taking over their responsibilities and being non-communicative. She and the ministry she idolized were headed toward destruction. Ironically, the very fear of failure she wanted to avoid was becoming a real possibility. When she recognized her identity in Christ—that she was a beloved daughter of the King—she knew she didn’t need to strive to receive affirmation and validation. She already had it! And she knew she didn’t need to fear rejection or failure because of God’s promise to love her always. What freedom she experienced as she confessed her sin and received God’s forgiveness! In repentance, she broke the development of her idol and headed towards healing. Here’s the hook. á

58 In mediation Rose confessed to her staff, acknowledging how she’d hurt them and asking for their forgiveness. They readily forgave her (and confessed their own sins as well). They prayed for each other, and rejoiced in the reconciliation made possible through the blood of Jesus Christ. What a joyous reminder of the grace and mercy God has for us when we confess our sins. And, what a solemn reminder that “those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” Jonah 2:8.

59 Closing Reconciliation Story: The Gift (approximately 5 minutes, 55 seconds) God never intended that his gift of forgiveness be for us alone. He wants us to share it. “Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.” A couple desperately wanted to have children, but they were unable to conceive. They endured extensive medical exams and procedures. They prayed earnestly to God, but it seemed that he was deaf to their pleas. After years of waiting, they lost hope and decided to start the adoption process. And that’s when the wife discovered that she was pregnant. They praised God for answering their prayers. However, the pregnancy was difficult, and the wife had to rest in bed for most of the term. But after nine months, she gave birth to a baby girl – Kristy5. They loved their daughter more than anything. But Kristy was sick. The doctor told the parents that they would need to leave their baby at the hospital, but he assured them that she would be given medicine that would cure her. Reluctantly, the parents left their daughter in the care of the hospital. But the nurse who was caring for her grabbed the wrong medication out of the cabinet, gave it to the infant, and she died. Immediately the nurse realized what she had done. She reported the incident to her floor supervisor, who contacted the hospital administrator, and he contacted the hospital’s lawyer. The lawyer said, “Whatever you do, don’t let that baby’s parents talk to that nurse.” Imagine the grief of these parents! After all those years of waiting, they were blessed with their little girl. But then to have her die because of the mistake of some nurse! They went to the hospital, asking to see the nurse. But the administration resisted and would not let them see her. The parents left the hospital in tears. Before they reached their car, someone ran out to them and pressed a note in their hands, saying, “Don’t tell anyone I gave you this.” 5 True story. Name changed to protect confidences. Here’s the hook. á

60 Then the stranger ran back to the hospital. The husband opened the note. It contained the name and home address of the nurse. That evening, the parents walked up to the nurse’s front door and knocked. As soon as the nurse answered, she recognized the couple and began to cry, saying, “I’m so sorry, they won’t let me talk to you.” And she started to shut the door. The husband stuck his foot in the door. “Please wait. We know that you can’t talk to us. But won’t you listen to what we have to say to you?” How could she refuse his request? She was responsible for their baby’s death! So she paused. The mother began: “For years, we waited for God to answer our prayers. Finally, after we had given up hope, I became pregnant and gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. We don’t know why Kristy had to be taken away so soon . . .” The mother broke down and cried. The father continued: “No, we don’t know why our daughter had to die so young. But we understand that you gave her medicine that contributed to her death. My wife and I were holding each other last night crying in each other’s arms. And then we thought about you. We think that you love babies and that’s why you work in the nursery. We know that you didn’t want to hurt Kristy, and so we thought you must be feeling pretty awful too. So we came just to tell you we forgive you, because God has forgiven us through Jesus Christ. The nurse wept and wept at this news. She knew she didn’t deserve this couple’s forgiveness. She knew that no amount of financial settlement would bring back their child. She knew that she could do nothing to earn favor with this couple. To her the gift was free, but for the couple who gave it, it was very costly. That’s what forgiveness is, my friends. [Pick up the gift box and hold in front of you while continuing . . . ] Forgiveness is a gift. You do not deserve God’s gift. You can’t buy his gift. You can do nothing to earn any part of it. To you the gift is free, but for the One who gives it, it is very costly. This gift cost our heavenly Father the blood of his one and only Son. The gift box – a box wrapped with red paper and a white ribbon and bow.

61 [Set the gift box down on the lectern for a moment.] You will meet this nurse. You see, when this couple first came to her door, she didn’t know Jesus. She kept asking the couple how they could forgive her. When she received their undeserved gift, she also learned how much God loves her and she received God’s undeserved gift. Today, she is your sister in Christ, and you will spend eternity in heaven with her. As we talked today about reconciliation, a number of people in your own life may have come to mind. Like me, you may not always think of being reconciled to God. You don’t automatically go to be reconciled with others. Brothers and sisters in Christ, as you consider all that you have done to offend God and others, remember Jesus’ promises to you: “You are forgiven.” “I am with you always.” Christ is present in our conflicts to confront sinful behavior and offer his free gift of forgiveness. [Hold up the gift box again . . .] Receive God’s gift. But remember that the gift is not for you alone. It is not meant for you to hoard it for yourself. [Hold the box tight to you, trying to cover it up with the other hand.] It is not given for you to set on a shelf to admire or to put it away in a closet. [Hold the box high behind you as if to put on a shelf.] No, the gift is meant to be shared. [Hold the gift box out in front of you, as if to share with everyone there.] Receive God’s forgiveness. And then forgive, as the Lord has forgiven you. As you do, the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Let’s pray.

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63 7. License and Wholesale Application/Agreement Copyrighted material Note that Ambassadors of Reconciliation owns the copyright for this teaching binder, the course instruction, the seminar guides, and the PowerPoint presentation. Ambassadors of Reconciliation has striven to meet the requirements of copyright law on pictures and videos embedded in the PowerPoint presentation. When possible, pictures have been purchased. Most videos are owned by Ambassadors of Reconciliation. One video is from the Internet (YouTube) and deemed appropriate for public use in a teaching situation. Another is acquired from a Christian organization that requires that attribution be included, which is noted in the PowerPoint. Should any concerns arise because of use of a copyright issue on any of the material provided by Ambassadors of Reconciliation (AoR), please contact AoR immediately (844-447-2671 or mail@aorhope.org) so that we might take corrective action. Policy for using copyrighted material Ambassadors of Reconciliation posts its “Policy for Using Copyrighted Material” on its web site (www.aorhope.org; select “About” and then “Copyrighted Material”). If you have completed AoR’s practicums Coaching People to Reconcile and Mediating People to Reconcile, this course entitles you to a license for teaching this material. Simply fill in your name and information on the front and submit it to AoR. A countersigned copy will be sent back to you. Note that the license expires at the end of every calendar year. It can be extended by written request and acceptance (including email). As licensee, you retain all fees your charge. The only cost to you is the purchase of seminar guides from Ambassadors of Reconciliation. Please note the other requirements of the license agreement. Wholesale purchase agreement As an additional option, those who meet the requirements for a license to teach Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation seminar may also apply for a Wholesale Purchase Agreement. Read the terms, complete the Application/Agreement for Wholesale Purchaser, and submit it to Ambassadors of Reconciliation.

64 Seminar Teaching License Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation This Seminar Teaching License Agreement is between the following parties: Licensee Licensor 1. 1. Rights Granted. Licensor grants to Licensee the non-exclusive right to teach the following seminar developed and owned by Licensor (hereinafter Licensed Property): Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation Seminar (Ambassadors of Reconciliation, © 2017) 1.1 Licensor shall provide an instructor seminar guide and PowerPoint presentation for the specific use of the Licensee. The Licensed Property may not be modified without permission. 1.2 Licensee shall not sublicense any of these granted rights without the prior written permission of Licensor. 1.3 Licensor specifically reserves all rights not granted to Licensee under this Agreement. 2. Term. The term of this Agreement shall commence as of the date of this Agreement and shall continue until December 31 of the year in which this agreement was originally signed, unless earlier revoked by Licensor. The term may be extended on an annual basis as indicated by request of Licensee and acceptance of Licensor (request and acceptance may be by email). Licensor is willing to grant the above rights subject to revocation at will by Licensor, in Licensor’s sole discretion. 3. Territory. There is no assigned territory for Licensee. Licensor retains the right to teach, sell and distribute the Licensed Property in any location without any qualification. 4. Training Fees. Licensee may establish and retain any honorarium, teaching, or registration fees for teaching the Licensed Property. Licensor shall not receive any portion from the fees except as described in Licensing Fee below. 5. Licensing Fee. Licensee shall purchase a seminar guide prepared by Licensor for each participant in licensee’s seminars. The purchase price for each guide shall be $14.00 USD as of April 1, 2018. The future costs of seminar guides may change without notice. The licensing fee shall be included in the price of the manual. Licensee shall be responsible for any and all taxes, tariffs, or other obligations to any governmental entity whatsoever and shall not hold Licensor responsible for any such obligations. 6. Copyright Ownership. The parties acknowledge that the Licensed Property is the sole property of Licensor and that Licensor owns all international copyrights and all other intellectual property interests in and to the Licensed Property. 6.1 The seminar guides of the Licensed Property shall include the following information about the license on each copy: This seminar is presented under a license from Ambassadors of Reconciliation. Unless otherwise noted, the licensed presenter is not a staff member or contract trainer for Ambassadors of Reconciliation. Name ___________________________________ Street ___________________________________ City, State Zip ______________________________ Phone ___________________________________________ Email ___________________________________________ Ambassadors of Reconciliation P.O. Box 81662 Billings, MT 59108-1162 Phone: 844-447-2671 Email: mail@aorhope.org Speaker: Ted Kober

65 7. Teaching Seminars. Licensee shall comply with all aspects of the current “Policy for Using Copyrighted Materials” as available from www.hisaor.org, with the changes noted below. 7.1 License shall inform those attending the seminar that the person presenting this seminar is not employed or contracted by Ambassadors of Reconciliation but is teaching this material by special license and in accord with the policy for teaching copyrighted materials by Ambassadors of Reconciliation. 7.2 Licensee may use the original titles of the seminar. 7.3 Licensee shall provide Licensor with the name and mailing address of each person receiving the training. This provides notice to Ambassadors of Reconciliation of each participant completing the licensed seminar should they desire to take additional training from Licensor at a later date. In addition, Licensee shall invite participants to voluntarily provide an email address that Licensor may use in sending notices for ministry updates and appeals, resource offerings, and training opportunities. 7.4 To renew this license at the end of the year in which this license was originally signed, Licensee shall register and maintain status as a Christian Reconciler™ with Ambassadors of Reconciliation as long as this license is in effect. 7.5 Licensee shall complete the Teaching a Reconciliation Seminar practicum by Ambassadors of Reconciliation prior to activating this license. 8. Quality Assurance. Licensor reserves the right to review and approve presentations by the Licensor of the Licensed Property for production quality and provide written notice of required changes. Licensor may revoke license if Licensee does not satisfactorily meet minimum quality standards as required by Licensor. 9. Termination. Licensee or Licensor may terminate this Agreement at any time, subject to thirty days prior written notice. 10. Rights Upon Termination. At the request of Licensor, Licensee shall return all Licensed Property to the Licensor. Licensor shall reimburse Licensee costs of Licensed Property, shipping and handling charges. 11. Assignment of Agreement. This Agreement is non-assignable. 12. Prior Agreements. All prior agreements and understandings, whether oral or written, are hereby revoked and are of no force or effect. 13. Amendments. Any modification or amendment to this Agreement shall be in writing and signed by both parties. 16. Christian Mediation and Arbitration. The individuals and representatives of the organizations who are parties to this agreement are Christians and believe that the Bible commands them to make every effort to live at peace and to resolve disputes with each other in private or within the Christian church (see Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 6:1-8). Therefore, the parties agree that any claim or dispute arising from or related to this Agreement shall be settled by biblically based mediation and, if necessary, legally binding arbitration in accordance with the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the Institute for Christian Conciliation. Judgment upon an arbitration decision may be entered in any court otherwise having jurisdiction. The parties understand that these methods shall be the sole remedy for any controversy or claim arising out of this Agreement and expressly waive their right to file a lawsuit in any civil court against one another for such disputes, except to enforce an arbitration decision. LICENSEE LICENSOR _______________________________ ____________ _____________________________ Date Date Print Name ____________________________________ Print Name __________________________________ Title __________________________________________________ Title ________________________________________________

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