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A Celebration of Life for Susan Jean Murphy Evans February 27, 1948 – April 4, 2021 Sunday, October 17, 2021, 2 pm Monticello Memory Gardens Charlottesville, Virginia

Table of Contents Order of Service ........................................................................................................... 1 Opening Prayer ............................................................................................................ 2 Lyrics to Song Selections.............................................................................................. 3 Poems .......................................................................................................................... 8 “When Tomorrow Starts Without Me” ...................................................................... 8 “Until We Meet Again” ............................................................................................. 9 “An Extract from Fahrenheit 451” ...........................................................................10 “Not in Vain” .........................................................................................................15 “Standing Upon the Seashore” ................................................................................27 “If I Should Go” .....................................................................................................28 Career Highlights .......................................................................................................11 Kids in Distress .......................................................................................................12 National Association of Social Workers ...................................................................13 Tabard Inn..............................................................................................................14 Testimonial ................................................................................................................16 Snapshots in Time: ....................................................................................................19 From the Beginning … ...........................................................................................19 Until We Met … And Then .....................................................................................20 Benediction ................................................................................................................29 So That We Never Forget … ......................................................................................30 Donations in Susan’s Memory ....................................................................................33 Photos throughout & on her memorial bench: Susan & some of the many things she loved

1 Order of Service 1st Musical Selection, Prelude – Pachelbel “Canon in D” – our wedding song, to which we awoke to start each day during our last few years together 1. Introduction / Words of Welcome - CJ Evans 2. Opening Prayer 2nd Musical Selection – Don Henley, the Eagles “New York Minute” – per Susan’s request 3. Poem Readings – Family members 3rd Musical Selection – Spanky and Our Gang “Give a Damn” – The inspiration for Susan’s choice of career 4. Reading of Obituary & Closing Poem – CJ Evans 4th Musical Selection – Nat King Cole “When I Fall in Love” – per Susan’s request, for her husband 5. Eulogies/Life Tributes – Dylan Evans, Rebecca Gallagher Brandon, Casey Carter 6. Brief Informal Tributes – William Myrick and others as they wish 7. Toast 5th Musical Selection – Andrea Bocelli and Sara Brightman “Time to Say Goodbye” – per Susan’s request 8. Thank You and Acknowledgements 9. Closing, Benediction 6th Musical Selection, Closing – Keith Hopewood & Malcolm Rowe “Wind in the Willows,” a nod to Susan’s Irish heritage, played as the closing song at her father’s wake

2 Opening Prayer Prayer of Great Thanks o our God who sees, we thank you for the life of Susan Jean Murphy Evans. It is painful to gather for this reason. But in the midst of pain, we give great thanks. You have gifted us with the friendship and love of our departed Susan. And as we hold this Celebration of Life, we remember all the good times we’ve spent with her. We recount all the blessings we’ve received – and the blessings received by so many others that she touched and helped – through her life. We thank you, O Lord, for all the wonderful ways you’ve used our departed loved one in the life of every person here, and in the lives of the many other people who are better for having known her. We commit this time of remembrance to you. Amen. T

3 Lyrics to Song Selections Pachelbel, “Canon in D” Brian Crain, piano and violin Don Henley, the Eagles “New York Minute” Harry got up Dressed all in black Went down to the station And he never came back They found his clothing Scattered somewhere down the track And he won't be down on Wall Street in the morning He had a home The love of a girl But men get lost sometimes As years unfurl One day he crossed some line And he was too much in this world But I guess it doesn't matter anymore In a New York Minute Everything can change In a New York Minute Things can get pretty strange In a New York Minute Everything can change In a New York Minute Lying here in the darkness You hear the sirens wail Somebody going to emergency Somebody's going to jail If you find somebody to love in this world You better hang on tooth and nail The wolf is always at the door

4 Spanky and Our Gang “Give a Damn” If you'd take the train with me Uptown, thru the misery Of ghetto streets in morning light, It's always night. Take a window seat, put down your Times, You can read between the lines, Just meet the faces that you meet Beyond the window's pane. And it might begin to teach you How to give a damn about your fellow man. And it might begin to teach you How to give a damn about your fellow man. Or put your girl to sleep sometime With rats instead of nursery rhymes, With hunger and your other children By her side, And wonder if you'll share your bed With something else which must be fed, For fear may lie beside you Or it may sleep down the hall. [Chorus] Come and see how well despair Is seasoned by the stifling air, See your ghetto in the good old Sizzling summertime. Suppose the streets were all on fire The flames like tempers leaping higher Suppose you'd lived there all your life, D'you think that you would mind? And it might begin to reach you Why I give a damn about my fellow man; And it might begin to teach you How to give a damn about your fellow man

5 Nat King Cole “When I Fall in Love” When I fall in love it will be forever Or I'll never fall in love In a restless world such as this is Love has ended before it's begun And too many moonlight kisses Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun (sun) When I give my heart it will be completely Or I'll never give my heart No, no, no And the moment I can feel (feel that) that You feel that way too Is when I fall in love with you (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) Ooh, ooh (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) La, la, la, la, la, la, la Oh and when I give my heart It will be completely Or I'll never, ever give my heart Mmm, but the moment that I (feel that) feel that You feel the same way too And I hope you do Is when I fall in love When I fall in love When I fall in love (With you) Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) Oh yeah When I fall, when I fall, oh, yeah, (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo)

6 In love (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) And I'm not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you (Not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you) Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah I'm not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you (Not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you) No, Baby, and it will be completely, yeah, yeah (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) It will be so sweetly, (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) Oh yeah I'm not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you (Not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you) Hey, I'm not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you (Not gonna stop 'til I fall in love with you) No how, no way, no, no, no Not (Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo) any time soon, ooh Andrea Bocelli and Sara Brightman “Time to Say Goodbye” Quando sono sola Sogno all'orizzonte E mancan le parole Sì lo so che non c'è luce In una stanza quando manca il sole Se non ci sei tu con me, con me Su le finestre Mostra a tutti il mio cuore Che hai accesso Chiudi dentro me La luce che Hai incontrato per strada Time to say goodbye Paesi che non ho mai Veduto e vissuto con te

7 Adesso sì li vivrò Con te partirò Su navi per mari Che, io lo so No, no, non esistono più It's time to say goodbye Quando sei lontana Sogno all'orizzonte E mancan le parole E io sì lo so Che sei con me, con me Tu, mia luna, tu sei qui con me Mio sole, tu sei qui con me Con me, con me, con me Time to say goodbye Paesi che non ho mai Veduto e vissuto con te Adesso sì li vivrò Con te partirò Su navi per mari Che, io lo so No, no, non esistono più Con te io li rivivrò Con te partirò Su navi per mari Che, io lo so No, no, non esistono più Con te io li rivivrò Con te partirò Io con te “Wind in the Willows” Keith Hopewood & Malcolm Rowe, instrumental

8 Poems “When Tomorrow Starts Without Me” David M. Romano When tomorrow starts without me, And I’m not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me, As much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too. So when tomorrow starts without me, Don’t think we’re far apart, For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.

9 “Until We Meet Again” Dorothy Mae Cavendish We think about you always, We talk about you still, You have never been forgotten, And you never will. We hold you close within our hearts And there you will remain To walk and guide us through our lives, Until we meet again.

10 “An Extract from Fahrenheit 451” (with gender changed) “Everyone must leave something behind when [she] dies, my [grandmother] said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched, some way your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, [she] said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away.”

11 Career Highlights

12 Career Highlights: Kids in Distress Susan measuring progress on campaign goal thermometer “When a building was needed, you built it; When a problem was posed, you solved it; When it came to the children, you changed their lives. What a wonderful legacy you leave, and [it] will always be remembered.”

13 Career Highlights: National Association of Social Workers Susan, elbow on hip, is in the photo in the middle row, second from the left

14 Career Highlights: Tabard Inn

15 “Not in Vain” Emily Dickinson If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.

16 Testimonial On Susan’s 50th birthday, from Kelly Anderson

17 “Mentor Extraordinaire!”

18 “As I recall you saying many times … ‘Getting older is not for sissies!’ It takes a lot of grace and courage to face the changes life throws our way.”

19 Snapshots in Time: From the Beginning …

20 Until We Met … And Then 42 Awesome Years

21 “ … there really are places in your heart you don’t even know exist until you have loved a child.” – Anne Lamott Susan to Dylan: “I love you … forever and always”

22 “Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” – Haruki Murakami, from “Kafka On The Shore”

23 Susan’s Obituary Susan Jean Murphy Evans February 27, 1948 – April 4, 2021 Susan Jean Murphy Evans, 73, a native of Maine and long-time resident of South Florida, passed away with her husband by her side at their home in Charlottesville, Virginia, at dawn on Easter Sunday, April 4, 2021, due complications from Parkinson’s and heart disease. Born February 27, 1948, in Brewer, Maine, to Eugene Joseph Francis Leo Murphy and Juanita Wombolt Murphy, Susan attended Northwestern High School in Hyattsville, Maryland, and Lee High School in Arlington, Virginia, received a Bachelor’s of Science from James Madison University, in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and a Masters of Social Work from New York University. Susan chose social work as a profession as the result of riding on the New York Subway and seeing a black and white poster developed by the Y & R Agency that showed a picture of residents of Harlem sitting on their front stoops that said, “Give a Damn.” The New York Urban Coalition Give a Damn Campaign, with the tagline “give money, give jobs, give a damn,” was put to music in a song of the same name by Spanky and Our Gang. Susan served as a social worker for Manhattan Criminal Court, an experience that she said was captured perfectly in the description of the “maw of the criminal justice system” by Tom Wolf in “The Bonfire of the Vanities.” Next, Susan worked at the Mount Loretto Orphanage on Staten Island, helping the orphanage’s young men rise above the traumas of abandonment

24 and poverty and develop the emotional and practical skills to live productive lives, a goal with which Susan found occasional success and great satisfaction. Susan met her future husband, Craig Evans, whose first name now is CJ, while living in a group brownstone on 101st and Broadway in Manhattan, where they both made life-long friends, including each other. They were married at Windows on the World on December 27, 1980, 21 years before the September 11, 2001, attacks destroyed the World Trade towers. During their courtship, Susan and her husband-to-be moved to Washington, DC, where Susan became a Certified Fundraising Raising Executive (CFRE) after a friend asked her to help raise funds for the Action on Smoking and Health’s (ASH’s) campaign to ban smoking in public buildings, restaurants, public transit, and airplanes. Susan combined her passions for the environment, social work, and fundraising by establishing the fundraising programs for the National Association of Social Workers and the House of Ruth; expanding the fundraising development programs for Defenders of Wildlife, the Sports Fishing Institute, Trout Unlimited, Center for Jury Studies, and the Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions in Washington, D.C., and leading a successful capital campaign for the Navy Marine Coast Guard Residence Foundation in McLean, Virginia. After the couple moved to Florida in 1997, Susan became the director of development for Kid’s in Distress in Ft. Lauderdale, which is dedicated to preventing child abuse, preserving families, and treating children who have been abused and neglected. Susan built the development department from a staff of two to a staff of 24 that used every fundraising approach from direct mail to special events to

25 major donor recruitment and multi-million dollar endowments to increase the organization’s budget from $3 million to $17 million per year. Susan also led a successful capital campaign that expanded Kids in Distress from three buildings to a five-acre campus with 24-hour emergency care shelters for abused and neglected children, infant-up-to-18-year-old housing with group parents providing educational, trauma, and mental and physical health services, as well as a family counseling clinic and foster care and adoption programs. Char Mollison, a Senior Fellow at the Center for Nonprofits, Philanthropy, and Social Enterprise at George Mason University, wrote in her capacity as the vice president of membership and development for the Independent Sector, a national coalition of nonprofit organizations, foundations, and corporate giving programs, that “I consider Susan to be the finest development professional I have known in my 25 years of work in the nonprofit sector.” Susan also created development programs for nine nonprofit organizations in Northern Virginia and Palm Beach County, Florida, that had limited or no fund raising history, and built a large-donor and endowment program to create a director of development position and fund the restoration and maintenance of the Bonnet House Museum & Gardens, a historical 35-acre beachfront estate in Ft. Lauderdale that preserves one of the last examples of South Florida’s native barrier island habitat with five distinct ecosystems.

26 In Charlottesville, Virginia, Susan contributed to and expanded the fund raising programs for Hospice of the Piedmont, the AIDS Services Group, and Habitat for Humanity. Susan was called “a force of nature” by her neurologist, Patricia J. Shipley, M.D., who made the early diagnosis and treated Susan’s Parkinson’s Disease. Many of those who knew and worked with and were help by Susan would agree. Susan is survived by her husband, CJ Evans of Charlottesville, Virginia; her son, Dylan Quincy Evans of Aguanga, California; her sister, Linda Gallagher Myrick of Barnwell, South Carolina; a nephew, Special Forces Company Commander and National Capitol Region Liaison Officer U.S. Army Major William Myrick, his wife, Gracyn, and grandnephew, Liam Myrick, of Washington, D.C.; as well as a niece, Rebecca Gallagher Brandon, her husband, John Brandon, and a grandniece, Josephine, and grandnephew, Wilkins Brandon of Charleston, South Carolina. Donations in her memory may be made to the Susan Jean Murphy Evans Living Legacy Fund (please see the back page of this program).

27 “Standing Upon the Seashore” Henry Van Dyke I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone" Gone where? Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" And that is dying... Death comes in its own time, in its own way. Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.

28 “If I Should Go” Actress and comedian Joyce Grenfell Weep if you must, Parting is Hell, But life goes on So sing as well

29 Benediction “Buddhist Prayer of Peace” Followed by [a Christian Benediction Prayer] ay all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. “May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. “May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another. “May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness - the children, the aged, the unprotected - be guarded by beneficial celestials, and may they …” [forever bask in the gory of our Lord, Jesus Christ … [Grant that Susan, our wife, our mother, our aunt, and our friend, may sleep here in peace until you awaken her to glory, for you are the resurrection and the life. [Then she will see you face to face and in your light will see the light and know Your splendor, for you live and reign forever and ever, as she will in your Devine company. [Amen.] “M

30 So That We Never Forget … A Living Legacy Fund is being established to carry on Susan’s passion for helping those in need During a career spanning nearly 50 years, Susan not only helped abused women and children, the disabled and homeless, and those in heart-wrenching poverty, but inspired others to do so as well, and empowered governing boards, executive directors, staff, volunteers, and donors to set ever higher goals to do more to help more people. This is the legacy that Susan’s husband, CJ Evans, wishes to carry forward. The Susan Jean Murphy Living Legacy Fund will be endowed with its lead gift in mid-2022. In the meantime, donations in Susan’s memory to launch the foundation’s giving programs are greatly appreciated. For details, please see the back cover of this program.

31 The Susan Jean Murphy Evans Living Legacy Fund: Its Giving Programs Will Support: • A Development Officer/Fundraiser Mentoring Program in cooperation with the Madison House at the University of Virginia • A Patient Assistance Fund in cooperation with UVA Health • Health, Nutrition, Housing & Employment Micro Grant Programs • Community-based nonprofit programs that support individual empowerment, under-served communities, small business startup, social justice, and employee-ownership

32 The Susan Jean Murphy Evans Living Legacy Fund : A Celebration of Susan’s Life To learn more about the foundation and the programs it will be supporting, please visit the working draft of the Susan Jean Murphy Living Legacy Fund website (which is a private website created to assist in structuring the Fund; the website will not become public until the foundation is fully endowed): https://craig4868.wixsite.com/livinglegacyfund. For information on how you can make a tax-deductible donation or pledge, please see the back cover

Donations in Susan’s MemoryDonations to the Susan Jean Murphy Evans Living Legacy Fund will help in carrying forward Susan’s legacy & passion to help the needy The Charlottesville Area Community Foundation (CACF) has set up a donor-advised fund that will accept tax-deductible donations in Susan’s memory which will launch the first of the Living Legacy Fund’s giving programs. Donations can be made by visiting the “Make a Donation” page on the Living Legacy Fund website: https://craig4868.wixsite.com/livinglegacyfund/donation Thank you … from both Susan & CJ!