Pre-Intimacy Reflection S U S T A I N A B L E S E L F - C A R E . How do you want to feel before I initiate or before youwant to initiate? Do you want to feel well-rested? Doyou want to feel sexy? What do you need to do to feelready to engage in intimacy? How do you want to feel during? Do you want to feeladored? Worshipped? Degraded? What do you like to do post-intimacy? Do you enjoycuddles? Do you like having snacks? Do you want somequiet time? Before engaging in intimacy, ask yourself and/or yourpartner(s) some of these questions to ensure everyone ison the same page, ready to have a good time. Communicate your needs and set yourintentions
S U S T A I N A B L E S E L F - C A R E . Post-Intimacy Reflection Orgasams are not an indication ofpleasure. Are you feeling satisfied? What was your favorite part? What were some of thehighlights?When did you feel closest to me? What would you like to do again? Instead of asking, “Did you come?” try asking:
S U S T A I N A B L E S E L F - C A R E . Limiting Belief Activity Pleasure is your birthright. Resting means your lazy Pleasure is a sin Your sensuality is only valid if it’s sharedYour worth is defined by your service to others Shame is insidious. It causes us to shrink ourselves to live up to ideas perpetuated by family members, socio-cultural ideas, etc, ideas that we often don’t even want to hold onto. They are often ideas that are ingrained in us ata young age, making it difficult to break down certain barriers in our lives. This is particularly true around sex, butpops up in many ways, and it’s important to take time to break down limiting beliefs that no longer serve us. Create a list with two columns on a piece of paper. On one side put “Limiting Beliefs“ and on the other side write“Who the F*ck Said That?” Write down your limiting beliefs on one side, and the person or group who imparted this belief. Examples include: Use this list to then figure out how you wish to engage with the beliefs moving forward. Begin the practice of trying tolet go of these beliefs, whether that’s resting on a week day instead of getting extra work done, or engaging inmasturbation to let go of the idea that pleasure is a sin. Go at your own pace, and understand that this might taketime and work to shift the beliefs to ones that better serve you in your life now.
S U S T A I N A B L E S E L F - C A R E . Aftercare is Essential. Pre and Post Intimacy Candles: Pre Scent = Hopeful Romantic & Post = Lazy River Vibes. Usingscent to set the scene and create an environment for intimacy and post intimacy emotions.Shower Steamers: Can be used solo or with a partner. One scent is an energizing scent and oneis a calm scent to either pamper beforehand and wash off any stressors, setting the scene forintimacy, or clean up and spend some extra time caring for your body alone or you and yourpartners' bodies. Cork Massage Rollers: Tension and trauma can be stored in the body, making it difficult to relaxinto intimacy. Whether it’s on your own, or with a partner, utilize these massage balls to get intouch with your body, relax into physical touch, and set the mood for a deeper level of intimacy.Meditation code: Perhaps you need to let go of the day before engaging in intimacy with a bodyscan. Or maybe you need a way to connect with your body after intimacy to ride the waves ofemotion. You can do this on your own to practice embodying and breathing on your own, orwith a partner(s) to practice breathing and sitting in a moment with each other. CBD Lube: Pain makes it difficult to want to engage in pleasure, and lube is great for solo andpartnered play. The CBD within this formula might alleviate pain that can occur for some peopleduring sex. Snacks: Because we all need fuel to recover, and maybe get ready for another round! Why These Items?
S U S T A I N A B L E S E L F - C A R E . Meet Whitni MillerBox + Content Collaborator Whitni Miller, CEO of BDE Moves, is a sex educator & pleasure coachspecializing in queer sex & relational communication. She uses Instagram &TikTok to disseminate pleasure centered, sex education to the generalpopulation. Whitni is trauma-informed, kink-informed, & utilizes her yogaphilosophy background to facilitate healing that empowers her clients toown their pleasure. Her goal is to expand our knowledge & understanding ofintimacy, sex, arousal, desire, & all the in between. Ultimately creating ajudgment free space for humans to feel safe being curious. You can learn more by scheduling a session with Whitni via 1:1 coaching, attendone of her workshops, or join her Patreon for more in depth sexual education. Want to learn more?