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August 2024Dear parent/carer,I hope that you have enjoyed a restful summer, foundtime to recharge, and made lots of new memories as afamily!As we approach the end of the summer holidays,thoughts will inevitably turn to the new term, so Iwanted to create a short newsletter, with practicalstrategies, to help your child to successfully join orreturn to the Madeley community. For our new Y7 intake, we realise that there will beexcitement, mixed with nerves about the unknown andfor some of our existing pupils, the thought ofreturning to school, after such a long break, can feeloverwhelming, so I hope that the information belowsupports you in preparing your child for theirsuccessful return to school. SEN-DNEWSLETTERWhat can impact mychild not wanting toattend school?Push and pull factorsWhat is anxiety?Strategies to supportyour child’s school-based anxietyGeneral strategies tosupport your childWorking with us tosupport your childCON TENTSA GUIDE FOR PARENTS/CARERS ON SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD BACK TO SCHOOL

School can be a stressful place for some children. Some of the reasons are:They have worries about specific aspects of school e.g. using the toilets or noise in corridorsThey struggle with social situations and making friendsThey are worried about the academic pressures or finding the work in lessons or at home difficultThey are struggling to concentrate due to stressful things happening in their livesWe want to work with you to support your child to attend, so it is important that any worries are sharedquickly with your child’s form tutor, in the first instance, as it can be difficult to unpick these if they becomeinternalised and develop into emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA)Push and pull factorsSELFPush factors - towards schoolGood awareness of feelings and triggers and how to calm themselves when starting to feel anxiousAware of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and how to look at an alternative way of seeing thingsMotivated and supported to attend school and achieve well for future goalsPull factors - away from schoolSelf-awareness and self- regulation skills under-developedNegative thought cyclesNot motivated to go to school – child and or parents don’t see it as importantSensory challenges related to the school environmentThe reasons why some children find attending school but others don’t are very complex and each child isdifferent. Children (and parents/carers) have push factors (things which help the child to attend) and pull factors(which make it difficult for them to attend).These are connected to their home and community, the school environment and the strategies that they haveto manage and overcome stressful situations. Some examples are below. What can impact my child not wantingto attend school?ENVIRONME NTALPush factors – towards schoolParent pressure to go to schoolParent working so child can’t stay at homeFriends attending school and good social networksGood routines, sleep etc.Pull factors – away from schoolParental illnessLiking safety/flexibility of routine at homeLiking of home environmentLess sensory stimulation/noise at homeSCHOOLPush factors - towards schoolPositive transition to schoolGood relationship with teachers and peersLearning and emotional needs identified and metA sense of belonging, safety and securityPull factors - away from schoolUnmet need – learning, social, emotional, sensoryExposure to bullying behaviourFriendship difficultiesExpectations and pressure of learning/examsRelationship breakdown with teacherDislike of certain lessonsIf your child is very anxious about starting/returning back to school it is helpful to explore thesewith your child. There are some prompts to help you to discuss this on the following pages.

What is anxiety?Anxiety is the way the body responds to a perceived threat and it can feelquite scary. Some of the ways that children experience anxiety physically arein this diagram.

Anxiety becomesproblematic when thechallenges that we arefacing (water into thebucket) outweigh ourability to cope and thestrategies that we haveto regulate (holes thatallow water to escapefrom the bucket). Thisprofile is unique for eachchild and is bestillustrated by the stressbucket. It is important toremember that eachchild’s ‘bucket’ andsituation is different. What is anxiety?Adrenaline also affects the way that we think and behave. Some of these can be subtlesigns of stress and anxiety including:A desire to control people and events.Feeling agitated or angry.Defiance and other challenging behaviours.Having high expectations for self, including schoolwork & sports.Avoiding activities or events (including school).Struggling to pay attention and focus.Intolerance of uncertainty.Crying and difficulty managing emotions.Over planning for situations and events.Feeling worried about situations or events.Children have been exposed to lots of pressures and changes over the last few yearsand many of these, particularly those associated with Covid-19, have been outside oftheir control.Some anxiety or stress can help us to perform better in tasks and our bodies respond ina way that helps us to be alert and task-focused.

In addition to your child having their formtutor as a key point of contact, we alsohave 2 pastoral support officers, a schoolnurse and we can refer your child intoCAMHS if they worry so much that thisimpacts on them attending or being ableto cope in school. We can also makereferrals to Family Action, who provide adesignated FSW (family support worker)who will work with you on a variety ofissues including: parenting, health,finance and housing. What is anxiety?The avoidance cycle (above) shows how not addressing worries about school canescalate and make it more difficult for your child to attend school over time. Wewill always seek to support your child to attend and keep contact with us to avoiddifficulties with attendance becoming embedded.

Anxiety links the way that we think – to the waythat we feel – to the way that we behave, bothpositively and negatively. The diagram (to theright) shows some ways of introducing balanceto negative thoughts. Children who have anxiety can have thoughtpatterns which make their worries grow. Wecall these ANTS (automatic negativethoughts) because they mostly happenwithout us being aware of them and mean thatwe can go to the worst case scenario whenfaced with a challenge or upsetting situation. When supporting your child to reframe andchallenge their thoughts, we need to continueto empathise and recognise that their feelingsare valid and real, even if the thoughts that aredriving them are not. Challenging ANT’s (automatic negative thoughts)Strategies to support your child’sschool-based anxietyZones of control is an approach which isused by our pastoral support team and canhelp to support children to identify what isin their control and what is outside of theircontrol. For things in their control – create aproblem-solving plan, with your child, foreach issue. This could be arevision/homework timetable to supporttheir time management or planning aconversation to help to repair relationshipswith a peer after an argumentFor things outside of their control –acknowledge that this issue will causeuncertainty but that this feeling will pass.In the interim, support your child to findways to manage their feelings by findinghealthy outlets, like exercise andrelaxation techniques and ways to distractthem to avoid their thoughts becoming all-consuming. ZONES OF CONTROL

Share your concerns as soon as possible. There may be adjustments we can make to their school day andany referrals into agencies like CAMHS take time to progress. The sooner we take action the sooner we arelikely to see positive results.Let your child’s form tutor, head of year and the school office know if your child has had a bad start to theday. As we all have a teaching commitment, this should ensure that your communication is picked uppromptly and a member of staff is able to ‘check in’ with your child at the earliest possible opportunity. Gather evidence to help us to work collaboratively. This could be in the form of a summary of discussionswith your child, or a diary of when they struggle most. This can help us to look for patterns. Communicate what you think would work. We may not be able to do all of the things that you suggest, butwe will be open with you about what is realistic on a daily basis. Let us know what does and doesn’t work. We won’t always get the support right first time but we want tocontinue doing what works as well as trying new strategies. It is crucial that we work together if your child finds attending school difficult. There may be times whenthere are differences of opinion/approach, but these discussions need to be held away from your childor they may lose confidence that adults in school can help and support them. Being open with schoolstaff will help us to better identify difficulties and potential solutions. Parenting is tough! We want towork with you in a non-judgmental way towards a shared goal of your child feeling supported, happyand cared for in school. We can’t wait to welcome your child into school for the start ofanother fantastic year at Madeley!Be curious - Discuss worries with your child, on a regular basis – put time aside to talk with your child aboutwhat is going on for them, acknowledging their feelings and fears and encouraging them to be open aboutany issues that they have attending school. Support your child to be in control - Prepare as much as possible ahead of the school day e.g. having amorning routine from waking up, having breakfast, getting dressed etc. Being consistent will give predictabilityand familiarity and break down big demands into smaller chunks. Help your child to develop coping strategies when they are calm - Normalise feelings of anxiety, giveyour own examples of things that worry you and model how you manage these situations. Encourage yourchild to explore and engage in activities that will help to improve their general wellbeing. Coach your child to overcome anxiety - Don’t avoid everything that causes anxiety, be realistic andoptimistic in their ability to manage stressful situations. Find opportunities to give your child authentic praise for progress and effort - When feeling anxious,even small steps can take monumental effort which we need to recognise at home and at school. Create a calming kit that can be brought into school - Some children benefit from having a smalltransitional object, like a photograph or quiet fidget toy. If your child benefits from this, please let us know sothis can be communicated to their teachers.Practice calming activities to improve your child’s overall wellbeing - If they begin the day feelinggrounded and calm, they are more likely to navigate the day successfully. Take care of yourself - you can’t pour from an empty jug. Finding time to prioritise your own wellbeing willhave a positive impact on your ability to support and help your child to regulate. The following link contains some extra ideas and support when planning the return to school:https://www.familypathway.co.uk/copy-of-back-to-schoolWorking with us to support your childGeneral strategies to support your child