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SINCERELY SANGUINETHE ULTIMATE WORKBOOK TO REPARENT AND HEALYOURSELF AFTER SURVIVING A TOXIC ANDTRAUMATIZED MOTHERPHOTO: EVERETT COLLECTION

Although a fictional character, Willona Woods serves as the most impactful fictional motherfigure in my life (Claire Huxtable is a strong second.) If you're not familiar with her story, WillonaWoods is the stylish next door neighbor to the Evans family. Most notably known for her brief,but memorable entrances. Many people have argued that her character was unrealisticbecause "no one that lives in the projects can afford such nice looking clothes." However, ifyou've ever been poor, you know that resourcefulness and creativity kick in when you'reexpected to work with what you have, similar to parenting.During the earlier seasons, Willona went without a substantial storyline and existed as a lowlyspinster, until season five. I assume the writers needed to fill in the matriarch role and decidedWillona was the perfect fit. In season five, we are introduced to sassy, adventurous, andyouthfully spurious Penny 'Millicent', played by Janet Jackson. Penny is most memorable for thehot iron scene. Viewers watch as her mother attempts to burn her with a hot iron afterdiscovering that she failed to come straight home after school. I often skip over those episodesand jump right into when Willona attempts to and succeeds at adopting Penny. Through Penny’s bloodmother and othermother Willona, we see a dichotomy in the depictionof the Black mother. One is vengeful and abusive, while the other is caring and nurturing. Bothmothers are thrusted into motherhood, one due to a teen pregnancy and the other anunexpected encounter. Both forced to serve as sole-providers and single mothers to a child,amidst extreme poverty, and countless other barriers. Yet, one chose violence and the otherchose nurturance. Every night, starting from the age of fifteen, I watch season five and occasionally season six of'Good Times'. So much so that I can recite an episode, walk out of ear shot of the television, andcontinue reciting without missing a beat.Through watching Willona and Penny I experienced(even if second-hand) a healthy mother-daughter relationship and what that might look like.Through Willona, I learned that “it's all in the walk” and "you have to ruffle his feathers beforeyou catch his goose." I also learned that your personal style matters and when you're a mother,prioritizing your child's needs over the interest of a man is mandatory. She was also a gentleparent before it became trendy. She showed many that even if someone does not share yourblood, they are capable of loving you just as much, if not more than your bloodmother. Inseeing her save Penny, I just knew my time was coming. However, I never once considered thatno one was coming, or at least in the way that I thought. I learned information about being and becoming a woman by relying on shows, movies,Google searches, othermothers, and books to fill in the gaps. I learned to heal components ofmy mother-wound, but I first needed to acknowledge difficult truths, not only about my mother,but about myself. Through the activities, questions, and information, the reader is encouragedto keep an open mind. The first step is learning and discovering and through this workbook,hopefully you’ll find not only your mother, but yourself.WORKBOOK OVERVIEW

ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES(ACE) TESTYES NODid a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Actin a way that made you afraid that you might be physicallyhurt?Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you sohard that you had marks or were injured?Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever…Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexualway? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginalintercourse with you?Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family lovedyou or thought you were important or special? or Your familydidn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, orsupport each other?Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough toeat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? orYour parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or takeyou to the doctor if you needed it?Were your parents ever separated or divorced?Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed,grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? orSometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, orhit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least afew minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker oralcoholic, or who used street drugs?Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did ahousehold member attempt suicide? Did a household member go to prison?IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1IF ‘YES’ADD A 1Add up your ‘YES’ answers to find out your ACE score:The ACE Study measures childhood traumatic events such as abuse,neglect, and family dysfunction. The workbook’s emphasis targets theinterpersonal relationship between Black mother’s and daughters.Understanding your childhood from a holistic perspective is imperativein identifying how one’s childhood impacts their medical, academic, andsocial life. “The ACE score is meant as a guideline: If you experiencedother types of toxic stress over months or years, then those would likelyincrease your risk of health consequences, depending on the positivechildhood experiences you had” according to the official ACES website.TRIGGER WARNING: MINOR REFERENCE TO ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULTRisk Factors: Two riskfactors identified are internalrisks. “A unique combinationof characteristics that makeup an idividual such astemperament andneurological structure.”External factors such aspoverty, family violence, orwar. Important to note thatrisk factors rarely occur inisolation and risk isnecessary to build resilience. (Everet alt, Marks, et al., 2016)

I believe that my mother loved me when I waslittle. I believe that my father loved me when I waslittle. When I was little, other people helped mymother and father How true? take care of me,and they seemed to love me.I’ve heard that when I was an infant someonein my family enjoyed playing with me, and Ienjoyed it, too.When I was a child, there were relatives in myfamily who made me feel better if I was sad orworried.When I was a child, neighbors or my friends’parents seemed to like me.When I was a child, teachers, coaches, youthleaders, or ministers were there to help me.HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?Someone in my family cared about how I wasdoing in school.My family, neighbors, and friends talked oftenabout making our lives betterWe had rules in our house and were expectedto keep them. When I felt really bad, I could almost alwaysfind someone trusted to talk to.As a youth, people noticed that I was capableand could get things done.I was independent and a go-getter. I believed that life is what you make it. HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?HOW TRUE?How many of these14 protective factorsdid I have as a childand youth?How many of the 14were “Definitely True”or “Probably True”Of these, how manyare still true for me?RESILIENCE QUESTIONNAIREResearch demonstrates that a healthy attachment cycle produces resilientchildren and adults. For each item, use the blank space to write in theappropriate number according to the following scale: +2 ‘Definitely true’ +1‘Probably true’ 0 ‘Not sure’ -1 ‘Probably not true’ -2 ‘Definitely not true’HOW DOES THISINFORMATION APPLY TOYOU?The ACE test and resiliencequestionnaire wereadministered to identity areasof your childhood thatcontributed to the formationof key aspects of youridentity, self-esteem, andcoping abilities. RESILIENCE FORMATION:Two basic qualities ofresilience are recovery,one’s ability to regroup fromstress and quickly return to astate of equilibrium, andsustainability. One’scapacity to progress in themidst of adversity whileexperiencing growth andenhancement due to healthyreactions to stressfulenvironments.(Everet alt, Marks, et al., 2016) "AMONG AFRICANAMERICANS MATERNALCONNECTEDNESS PLAYSAN IMPORTANT ROLE ININCREASING RESILIENCE" (Everet alt, Marks, et al., 2016)

REPARENTING YOURINNER CHILD AFTERSURVIVING A TOXICMOTHER — THROUGHAN AFRO-CENTRICLENSWHO ARE YOU?(AREAS OF CONSIDERATION: SEXUALITY,NATIONALITY, ROLES, BELIEFS, PRESENTATION,IDEALS, INTERESTS, ETC.)The first step to healing starts with utilizing theinformation obtained within the workbook toexplore and develop your identity and progressfrom there. WHICH ASPECTS OF YOUR IDENTITYARE INFLUENCED BY YOUR MOTHERAND HOW IMPORTANT ARE THEY TOYOU?"Self-concept is thecognitive or thinkingaspect of the self. It isthe totality of anindividual’s thoughtsand feelings about selfas an object largelybased on how sheperceives others to viewher.”(Everet alt, Marks, et al., 2016)

POT LIQUOR FOR THE SOULProvided below is reading material to assist with healing and understanding yourmother wound in reference to love, men, money, and other poignant topics. There arebooks to inspire you and to guide you on your journey of setting healthy andnecessary boundaries and healing. In addition to stories about womanhood and howpeople experience life from the flavorful perspective of the black woman. How to raise youngchange-making blackgirlsAdvice for blackdaughtersHow far would you go toprotect your daughter?What happens when you letthe wrong men control andruin your life? Black lovetheorizedHow to heal povertytrauma & improve yourrelationship with moneyThe good, bad, andugly about the blackmother-daughterrelationshipHow to heal from youremotionally unavailableparentBlack womanhood, the formationof love, and communityHow does one forman identity throughtrauma?How to identify girlsthat are NOT girl’sgirlsHow a mother sharesher story with herdaughterDo you understandyour body?Grab your copy: https://amzn.to/49z9nO4*Eligible for commission

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WRITE A LETTER TOYOUR YOUNGER SELFThis is an opportunity to give your younger self advice, anupdate, or merely the opportunity to thank the younger you forcontributing to getting you to this point.

Adverse ChildhoodExperiences Questionnairewith a full ACE test and ACE test scoreinterpretation Resilience Test Mother-Daughter Lifecycle Coping Mechanisms,Coping Skills, and HowCoping Behaviors developwithin one's family Self-esteem formation andthe concept of self esteemActivities to explore yourmother's story/identity,Mother Daughter TherapyWorksheets Reparenting visualizationto assist in repairingmother-daughterrelationshipsInner child healingexercises and selfreparenting11 Tips for reparenting yourinner child after surviving atoxic and traumatizedmother — from anafrocentric lens Book Club booklist to healand understand yourmother woundWatchlist that containsmovies and shows thatfeature and explore thecomplexities and beautyof the black mother-daughter relationship andblack womanhoodReferences CLAIM YOUR FREE VERSION NOW! FULL WORKBOOK AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

These 5 wounds are rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal andinjustice.https://lightcentre.com/the-5-soul-wounds-5-the-wound-of-injustice/#:~:text=These%205%20wounds%20are%20rejection,of%20these%20irrational%20emotional%20memories.Everet alt, J. E., Marks, L. D., & Clarke-Mitchell, J. F. (2016). A Qualitative Study ofthe Black Mother-Daughter Relationship: Lessons Learned About Self-Esteem,Coping, and Resilience. Journal of Black Studies, 47(4), 334-350.https://doi.org/10.1177/0021934716629339Lénárt-Muszka, Z. (2021). Mothers in the Wake of Slavery: The Im/possibility ofMotherhood in Post-1980 African American Women's Prose (Doctoraldissertation, Debreceni Egyetem (Hungary)).Collins, P. H. (1987). The meaning of motherhood in Black culture and Blackmother/daughter relationships. SAGE: A Scholarly Journal on Black Women,4(2), 3–10.Bell-Scott, Patricia. Double Stitch: Black Women Write about Mothers andDaughters. Harper Perennial, 1991.Habtezghi, Nazenet. 2023. Birthing a Nation: The Resistance of Mary Gaffney.MTV Documentary Films, Firelight Media.REFERENCESLET’S STAYCONNECTED:TIK TOK: @DASIASAYSSOHTTPS://WWW.TIKTOK.COM/@DASIASAYSSO?IS_FROM_WEBAPP=1&SENDER_DEVICE=PC@SINCERELYSANGUINEHTTPS://WWW.TIKTOK.COM/@SINCERELYSANGUINE?IS_FROM_WEBAPP=1&SENDER_DEVICE=PCJOIN THE NEWSLETTER:SINCERELYSANGUINE.COM