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Nothing But The Truth, Jacksonville, FL, NothingButTheTruth.orgRelationships and Getting Along: Moral Intelligence - Book 1 Copyright © 2024 by David Johnston All rights reserved. This book may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher or copyright holder in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other, without prior written permission from the publisher or copyright holder as long as it is kept in its entirety and not sold for a prot.Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nel-son. Used by permission. All rights reserved.Scripture quotations marked “KJV” are from the King James Version of the Bible, which is in the public domain.Scripture quotations marked “MSG” are taken from THE MESSAGE, Copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Scripture quotations marked “TLB” are taken from The Living Bible, Copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.Cover Design: Master Design Marketing, LLCISBN: 978-1-965799-32-1 (paperback) ISBN: 978-1-965799-33-8 (ebook)

Contents1 The Maze of Life ................................................. 12 What Is Moral Intelligence? ................................ 33 Developing Moral Intelligence ............................94 How God Communicates Moral Intelligence ......................................................... 155 The Benets of Moral Intelligence ....................236 How Moral Intelligence Affects Your Relationships ..................................................... 337 The Foundation of Love .................................... 358 Moral Intelligence in Marriage ......................... 419 Moral Intelligence in the Family ....................... 4510 Moral Intelligence in the Church Family .......... 5111 Moral Intelligence in Friendships ...................... 5312 Moral Intelligence in Other Relationships ....... 5713 The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships ...................................................... 59

1The Maze of LifeImagine the entire human race standing at the opening of a vast maze. The maze covers a land mass as large as Texas. Nobody has access to satellite imagery or any other technological aid. The maze contains both treasure and traps, food and poison, and friends and enemies. You do not know if there are multiple openings, just one opening, or none. You do not even know if the goal is to come out at the end. The maze intimidates some, while it intrigues others. But the timid and the bold alike must traverse its mysteries, and every turn taken is a decision that carries consequences.That maze is life itself—and it does not come with instructions, inherent purpose, or even motivation. Because we all enter the maze, we must all come to terms with how it must be navigated. However, most of us don’t even know where to nd the answer to these questions, and we certainly cannot gure it out by ourselves. That is where moral intelligence comes in. Moral intelligence is the single greatest factor in

Relationships & Getting Along2navigating the maze of life successfully. Each of us is hopelessly lost without it.

2What Is Moral Intelligence?Moral Intelligence. Those are two words not usually paired together—the phrase itself could even be considered an oxymoron, especially in our world today. But moral intelligence is precisely what God asks of His people, even in a corrupt and godless culture. Thankfully, God is also happy to provide it for us—as we seek Him and His ways by studying His Word and listening closely to His Spirit. Let’s start by dening the word intelligence. Intelligence is the faculty of our understanding. King Solomon put it this way:“Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it. But the correction of fools is folly.” (Proverbs 16:22)While “understanding,” or intelligence, is important, as King Solomon points out, worldly

Relationships & Getting Along4intelligence alone is “folly.” Have you ever known an extremely smart person who could barely handle life’s problems? Or worse, someone who was gifted intellectually but morally bankrupt?To tap into the “wellspring of life” that King Solomon wrote about, we need more than just book smarts or a high IQ; we need to develop moral intelligence. Morality can be dened as “character or virtue; concern with the distinction between good and evil or right conduct.”1 If we don’t have a proper concept of morality (and, therefore, by contrast, immorality), how can we have any real intelligence at all? We must rst understand that morality exists. It is absolute; it is, by denition, different from evil, and it can be known and practiced.“But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.” (Colossians 3:25)There is no escaping the consequences—favorable or otherwise—of our moral decisions on this earth. It is not smart to do wrong! Developing moral intelligence means understanding the difference between right and wrong. Also, take note 1 “Morality,” e Free Dictionary, accessed January 12, 2024, https://www.thefreedictionary.com/morality.

What Is Moral Intelligence?5that there’s no “respecter of persons” in this regard. Nobody gets out of this. We either have understanding or we don’t. We either know the difference between right and wrong—or we don’t. “Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him, for the reward of his hands shall be given him.” (Isaiah 3:11)Woe, indeed, to the wicked! Can you see already why it’s important to develop moral intelligence? If we want life to go well for us, then we cannot do without it. In this verse, the relationship between the wicked person’s lot in life and his own wickedness is causal. Because he is wicked, it shall be “ill with him,” and he will reap the rewards of that wickedness.“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:12)On the other hand, the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous. Obviously, God sees everything that people do, righteous or not, but this verse illustrates the direction of His favor and affection. In contrast, the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. He

Relationships & Getting Along6has turned His back on them, and the next time He looks at them directly, it will be in opposition. That’s an adversarial position. I wouldn’t want to be God’s adversary, would you? Not only will God not help the wicked, but He will actively and diametrically oppose that person. Can you already begin to see some of the consequences, some of the benets, and the wisdom of having moral intelligence? Moral intelligence is the difference between God’s attention and God’s rejection. If we want to receive the blessings of God in our lives, we need to learn how to practice moral intelligence!Incidentally, moral intelligence—or, let’s face it, intelligence of any kind—is seldom plentiful in large groups. We should resist the urge to follow the moral whims of a crowd. Find a group of friends who will encourage you to go in the right direction. If no such friends may be found, then it is better to be solitary and in the right than it is to march lockstep with those who are not following the Lord and practice evil instead. Evil is dened as “morally bad or wrong; wicked, causing ruin, injury, or pain; characterized by or indicating future misfortune; ominous; bad or blameworthy by report; infamous; characterized by anger and spite; malicious.”22 “Evil,” e Free Dictionary, accessed January 25, 2024, https://www.thefreedictionary.com/evil.

What Is Moral Intelligence?7“The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; he has ceased to be wise and to do good. (Psalm 36:3)He devises wickedness on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he does not abhor evil.” (Psalm 36:4)These verses describe a depraved person—an evil person. Today, the term evil is thrown around so often in movies, in ction, and even in politics that it has lost its potency. In God’s eyes, however, the word carries extreme gravity, and He asks us to turn away from it and choose the good.“See, I have set before you this day life and good, death and evil.” (Deuteronomy 30:15)In His Word, God has clearly dened good and evil. He has left us to decide to act in accordance with the good—or pay the consequences if we don’t. Good is productive in your life, but evil produces death.“Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell forevermore.” (Psalm 37:27)

Relationships & Getting Along8The imagery here is of diametric direction. We cannot pursue good and evil simultaneously. Therefore, we must abandon one and pursue the other completely. Given that good produces dividends in our lives and evil does the opposite, our decision ought to be easy!“Evil pursues sinners, but to the righteous, good shall be repaid.” (Proverbs 13:21)This is why each of us should pursue moral intelligence. The results include goodness and blessing rather than curses and disfavor.Moral intelligence is not achieved by osmosis. It isn’t caught like a virus, and it isn’t intuitive like the gag reex. It’s more like our sense of balance. Everyone has a little by nature, but it can be improved upon with practice—or destroyed by atrophy and neglect.

3Developing Moral IntelligenceHow, then, is moral intelligence developed? If you want to learn to be a doctor, then you must go to medical school. If you want to be an artist, you do not go to medical school. You go to art school. By this same logic, to become morally intelligent, you must go to the source of moral instruction. Many people look to other people, including the culture and society in which they live, to inform them of what is “right” and what is “wrong,” but God tells us that is not the best idea.“Give us help from trouble, for the help of man is useless.” (Psalm 60:11)“O Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.” (Jeremiah 10:23)

Relationships & Getting Along10“As it is written: ‘There is none righteous, no, not one; there is none who understands, there is none who seeks after God.’” (Romans 3:10–11)These verses paint a dismal picture of a humanity that is lost, ckle, and morally unreliable. None of us can make moral decisions based on our instincts alone. Even when people try to pursue good, without God’s instruction and help, our fallen nature weighs us down like a brick around our necks, dragging us down beneath the waves of sin and guilt even as we ght upward toward the fresh air of righteousness. Our sin nature affects not just our success but even our motives and our intelligence. And to follow the “morality” of the culture around us? That’s like the blind leading the blind. There is nothing magical about the majority opinion. The self-serving opinions of one sinner are bad enough; combining such opinions only increases the damage they can inict. History is lled with horrors that were condoned and practiced by the majority. So, if we cannot look to other people, including human governments, to guide us into moral intelligence, then where should we look? The Bible plainly tells us the answer to this question.

Developing Moral Intelligence11“But where shall wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding? Man does not know its value, nor is it found in the land of the living.” (Job 28:12–13)Job, in asking where wisdom comes from, quickly eliminates mankind as a source, even going so far as to suggest that wisdom can’t even be found on the earth at all (in the “land of the living”). He reiterates this point in these next verses:“From where then does wisdom come? And where is the place of understanding? It is hidden from the eyes of all living, and concealed from the birds of the air.” (Job 28:20–21)But Job eventually uncovers the Source of all wisdom:“God understands its way, and He knows its place.” (Job 28:23)Job has answered his own question. If we’re searching for wisdom, we must ask God for it. Not

Relationships & Getting Along12only does He know the way, but He is also familiar with the destination. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)Solomon adds specicity here. Do you want wisdom? Then, you must develop a healthy fear of the Lord. The knowledge of God brings understanding. Moral intelligence begins and ends under God’s tutelage. All other sources are morally bankrupt. Many wise men of the past have recognized this. Here are just a few examples:“Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.” —Alexis de Tocqueville3“Let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion …Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality 3 Alexis de Tocqueville, Alexis de Tocqueville - Liberty cannot be established... - brainyquote, accessed January 25, 2024, https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/alexis_de_tocqueville_384535.

Developing Moral Intelligence13can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.” —George Washington44 George Washington, “George Washington, September 17, 1796, Farewell Address,” Library of Congress, accessed January 25, 2024, https://www.loc.gov/resource/mgw2.024/?sp=243&st=text.

4How God Communicates Moral IntelligenceNow that we’ve established that God is the only reliable gauge by which we may calibrate our moral intelligence, let’s look at how He communicates it to us.Through All of Nature“For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20)These verses teach us that some spiritual facts (such as God’s existence and goodness) are clearly visible in creation. Just as you can identify the

Relationships & Getting Along16“voice” of Shakespeare, Twain, Hemingway, and Hawthorne by their writings, so God left His vibrant ngerprint on nature—making the denial of His attributes impossible.“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the rmament shows His handiwork.” (Psalm 19:1)The words used in this passage are potent: “The heavens declare the glory of God.” It is true, though, isn’t it? It is impossible to view the night sky with the naked eye, much less through the Hubble telescope or other satellite images from deep space, and not be dumbstruck with wonder. The verse continues: “The rmament shows His handiwork.” David is saying that the rmament (or sky) shows, displays, and projects God’s artwork like a museum.He Has Written It on Our Hearts“Who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them.” (Romans 2:15)

How God Communicates Moral Intelligence17While the Bible does say that the heart of man is desperately wicked, it also says that the law of God is written there. Our hearts are the repository of a subset of the laws of God. For instance, we instinctively know that murder, theft, and deceit are wrong. We feel a longing for justice where it is absent, and we are moved by a need to help and an instinct to empathize. Unfortunately, the sin nature of man does have the power to overwhelm this, causing us to do what the image of God inside of us wouldn’t. This still doesn’t change the fact that those eternal precepts are there, chiseled on tablets of esh, and these precepts condemn us.“They show that God’s law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God’s yes and no, right and wrong.” (Romans 2:15 msg)“Because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21)

Relationships & Getting Along18The phrase, “they knew God,” mustn’t be missed in this verse. How did they “know” God, anyway? Partly through nature, as we have already seen, but also through the law He wrote on their hearts—the conscience inside every person. He Came to Show Us How!Imagine it! God laid aside His privilege and His splendor, stepping away from throngs of worshiping angels, among other things of which He was deserving, and He walked across the star-studded constellations of the universe, using the planets as steppingstones for His feet. He came in view of the darkened hills of Judea and heard the cries of ailing, wretched mankind reaching out for a deliverer. On that night, God chose to come to earth as a weak and helpless baby and took on humanity. Then, He taught us right from wrong Himself.“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)Jesus demonstrates—through both His words and His actions—how God wants us to live. And through His death on the cross and subsequent resurrection, we are empowered to do so.

How God Communicates Moral Intelligence19Through His WordHe communicates moral intelligence through the Bible. He moved upon the writers of both the Old and New Testaments and infused contemporary messages with timeless truth. Despite the forces of evil doing everything possible to destroy that divine record, God has preserved it throughout the generations. Just as He promised, not one jot or tittle of His Word will pass away until all is fullled.“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)The Word is a light that gives guidance to our feet, even in the darkest places, providing us with both clarity and direction. This clarity and direction results in boldness. It is a boldness and condence that many unbelievers may nd offensive because they don’t live in the light of His Word. Because of this, they might interpret your condence in God’s Word and His ways of living as hubris. Don’t be discouraged by this. Let God’s light shine through you and let the fruit of the Spirit manifest in your life. Trust God. As you do, the Source of your certainty will become apparent.

Relationships & Getting Along20Through His Holy SpiritPossibly the most remarkable way in which God communicates moral intelligence to us is through His Holy Spirit. We will know what’s right. We will know what’s wrong. He will guide each of us—personally. In the life of the believer, the Holy Spirit lls the role of the conscience.“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” (John 16:13)That’s how we know the difference between truth and the spirit of error. The Holy Spirit does not “speak on His own authority”; He always relays the Word of God, bringing biblical precepts, principles, and wisdom to the mind of the believer—and providing the ability to obey them as He empowers believers to live a godly, Christlike, morally intelligent life.Through Genuine, Never-Failing Love“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love;

How God Communicates Moral Intelligence21and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:16)Finally, in order to develop moral intelligence, we must go to the Source. Of all the places people go to learn about right and wrong, none of them knows all the facts. Only God can let you know exactly how to nd the truth because He is love, and He is the truth!

5The Benefits of Moral IntelligenceIt is natural to fret about the direction of our lives. Even dening what a good life looks like can be tricky. This is one of many reasons why it’s important to discover God’s idea of a successful life. His is the opinion that really counts.“Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.” (Romans 14:4)Before our own master, we rise or fall. If you want to have a miserable life, strive to please everybody around you. As the world around us continuously piles on the commentary, criticism, and unsolicited advice, we must not forget that we don’t work for everyone else. We work for the One who created us. So, let’s learn (and master) our Creator’s idea of

Relationships & Getting Along24moral intelligence! When we do, we will nd that certain invaluable benets will follow.You Know What Is Right“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.” (Hosea 4:6)If God’s people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge, then the question becomes: What is this “knowledge” that stands between us and our destruction? The answer to that is moral intelligence, without a doubt. “Therefore all Your precepts concerning all things I consider to be right; I hate every false way.” (Psalm 119:128)Note what this verse says about moral intelligence: our thoughts begin to align with God’s thoughts! We grow to esteem everything God says. Consequently, we come to hate everything that differs with God.

The Benets of Moral Intelligence25It is important to esteem God and His Word—and not just academically, or by casually saying, “O God, I agree with You. I acknowledge that You’re right.” We must esteem His Word so highly that it functions as the highest authority in our lives. It is not only right; it is intelligent! This is the attitude we must adopt.We will have the ability to see accurately and properly. Moral intelligence gives us the ability to accurately evaluate everything—in every situation. We can see things differently. A person’s moral condition determines how they see everything. It allows them to see to the heart of the matter and, therefore, make good choices based on having all the facts. A spiritually healthy person possesses better insight than others; they have a clearer lens.“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are deled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are deled.” (Titus 1:15)A deled person looks at others and at life in a deling way. This is what Scripture is referring to when it says:

Relationships & Getting Along26“Having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children.” (2 Peter 2:14)For a moment or two, dwell on the phrase, “cannot cease from sin.” Having their carnal mind on top, in place of a spiritual mind (moral intelligence), makes a person see the world through sin-colored glasses—leading unavoidably to sinful action. They need—we all need—to be spiritually healthy, thus morally intelligent, to know right from wrong. It’s a game-changer.“But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.” (Proverbs 4:18–19)Without the skill and vision of moral intelligence, the wicked cannot see straight. They don’t know what is making them stumble. They don’t know why they’re discouraged. They don’t know why they’re depressed. They don’t know why things aren’t

The Benets of Moral Intelligence27working out the way they think they should. They don’t understand life. Moral intelligence is the key to being able to see accurately and properly as we evaluate every part of our life. If we try to do this without moral intelligence, we will always make the wrong decisions. Life Is a Whole Lot EasierThere’s a myth that Christianity is hard. This is simply not true.“Good understanding gains favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard.” (Proverbs 13:15)Transgression is easy, but the consequences are nasty. So, living in those consequences (and they are continually unraveling through time) is hard, but the opposite—living with moral intelligence—makes life much easier. When the favor of God rests on our lives, things go more smoothly. When we are making godly decisions, we aren’t ensnared by the negative consequences of sin in our lives. Instead, we enjoy the fruit grown through investing in a godly life. Living morally intelligent brings great rewards. Many benets ow from doing what’s right all the time—and with the right motives.

Relationships & Getting Along28“He who despises the word will be destroyed, but he who fears the commandment will be rewarded.” (Proverbs 13:13)“The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.” (Psalm 19:7)“The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.” (Psalm 19:9)“Moreover by them Your servant is warned, and in keeping them there is great reward.” (Psalm 19:11)These verses show some of the rewards that come with moral intelligence. Let’s rephrase the basic idea here to make it clear: moral intelligence tends to life, but he that pursues evil pursues it to his own death. The contrast couldn’t be clearer.Avoids Evil ConsequencesAs already alluded to, living morally intelligent lives helps avoid evil consequences in and of itself.

The Benets of Moral Intelligence29Every time we choose right instead of wrong, we avoid the consequences we would’ve experienced if we’d chosen the other path. We do reap what we sow.“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)“Evil pursues sinners, but to the righteous, good shall be repaid.” (Proverbs 13:21)Being able to avoid evil consequences is delightful. It is a beautiful conditional offer, and God wants us to take Him at His Word. He wants us to trust Him and partner with Him so we bear good fruit.A Good Conscience“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the esh, but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)Moral intelligence grants a conscience that is good, undeled, functional, and free from condemnation. When we have a strong moral intelligence and nd

Relationships & Getting Along30ourselves on the edge of sin or compromise, our conscience will roar to the forefront and guide us back toward righteousness. What a gift!Provides Guidance “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)The Lord wants the light of life—the knowledge and the benets of right living—to shine through us to bless other people and give testimony to His goodness. He guides us, and in turn, we are an example to others. If we are living in moral intelligence, His light pours through us in everything we do and into everyone we touch. Without it, we have the opposite effect.Lifelong SatisfactionMoral intelligence means we will never have to live with regrets. We will never have to live with shame. We will never have to live with false accusations because we know the truth and have afrmation from the Lord. Moral intelligence provides lifelong satisfaction, primarily because He

The Benets of Moral Intelligence31leads us in the path He has chosen for us and gives us His peace.“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6)Living a life in proximity to God brings lifelong goodness and mercy. Moral intelligence gravitates us toward God—and that will bring only a multitude of blessings into our lives.God’s Approval and BlessingMoral intelligence gives us God’s approval all of our lives—and forever. As a result, His blessings will overtake us. Can you think of anything more soul-satisfying than knowing that God has given you His stamp of approval? Now, if I got the approval of my wife, that’d be nice. If I got the approval of the mayor of the city, that might be nice, too. If I got the approval of the president, that would certainly feel good, but to have the approval of God can’t be superseded—and it brings eternal consequences with it.“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant

Relationships & Getting Along32will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” (John 12:26)Can you imagine being honored by God in this way? Moral intelligence brings the honor of God to us, just as it brings honor to Him. If we love the Lord and keep His commandments, we will receive honor. However, if we don’t cultivate moral intelligence in our lives, my friend, we will lose.

6How Moral Intelligence Affects Your Relationships In our culture today, there are a great many attacks against the family, marriage, and even gender—and they are not intelligent! Not only are they not intelligent in a commonsense sort of way, but they are also not morally intelligent. Let’s take a look at how a proper view of moral intelligence will inuence the relationships we have with our family members and close friends—in short, the personal relationships we value the most.

7The Foundation of LoveThe single most important “intelligence factor” in the universe is love. Anything other than love is not sustainable. Everything else will have a self-destructive dynamic built into it somewhere. Love, on the other hand, is so primary and so morally intelligent that it is described to us in Scripture as being the very essence of God—the core of who He is. Everything He thinks and does, and every motive He has, proceeds from this fundamental morally intelligent condition called love.As we learn how to cultivate moral intelligence in our lives, specically in our relationships with family and friends, we must learn to love as God has loved us. “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

Relationships & Getting Along36When Jesus came, He made it plain that He wants us to have this same moral intelligence factor—just as He does, as the Holy Spirit does, and as God the Father does. And so, He makes it a commandment that we should love one another as He has loved us. Love must be the basis of every morally intelligent choice in every area of our lives.What, in fact, is love? Basically, we understand it to be the unselsh choosing of another person’s highest good that is not motivated by personal prot or benet. And so, as this applies to God’s creation, God’s universe, and God’s people—love means choosing the highest good for the other person without personal prot playing into the decision.Let’s take a brief look at what love actually looks like in real life. First Corinthians 13 gives us a template of how love behaves with regard to other people. Here is a sampling of how love can operate in our lives:“I’m bankrupt without love.Love never gives up.Love cares more for others than for self.Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.Love doesn’t strut,

The Foundation of Love37Doesn’t have a swelled head,Doesn’t force itself on others,Isn’t always ‘me rst,’Doesn’t y off the handle,Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,Doesn’t revel when others grovel,Takes pleasure in the owering of truth,Puts up with anything,Trusts God always,Always looks for the best,Never looks back,But keeps going to the end.Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. . . .For right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward

Relationships & Getting Along38that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.” (1 Corinthians 13 msg)Love Never Gives Up!No matter what others do, those who truly love them will never give up on pursuing their best interests. Love doesn’t quit. It doesn’t lose steam. The kind of love God asks us to have for other people doesn’t waver when things get difcult; it remains steady. It stays. It never gives up.Love Suffers LongLove often requires a cost. It may require the suffering of the one who loves. Jesus wasn’t immune from suffering due to His love for us; why would we think our love should be any different? The long-suffering nature of love means it lasts; it isn’t a ckle, in-good-times-only kind of love, here one day and gone the next. It sticks around, even when it’s painful to do so.Love Is KindKindness is so underrated in our culture today. Brashness seems to be the attitude of the day. But the Holy Spirit leads God’s people with kindness,

The Foundation of Love39and the love of God compels us to treat others with kindness as well.Love Cares More for Others Than for SelfOur natural bent is to care for ourselves rst, and then we care for others after our own needs are met. But is that the kind of love God asks us to share? Morally intelligent love is love that serves, caring for other people in a seless way.Love Envies NotWhen we are envious or covet what someone else has, we are not living in love. We are putting a “thing” above our “relationship.” However, if we are walking in the way of moral intelligence, we rejoice when we see someone else prospering. We are happy for them in their good fortune and do not allow jealousy to fester in our hearts.Love Rejoices in the TruthMorally intelligent people foster honesty in their relationships. Without honesty, there can be no real trust, so real love rejoices when truth takes center stage in a relationship.“Love bears all things and believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things.

Relationships & Getting Along40Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7–8a)This kind of love is the intelligent functional core that must affect every area of our lives—especially our relationships with our family and friends.

8Moral Intelligence in MarriageWhen we practice the kind of love we just described, we will become morally intelligent in our marriages and families. Let’s begin with the marriage relationship rst.In His Word, God describes how to show our spouse the kind of love He shows to us—a morally intelligent love:“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)Moral intelligence in marriage begins rst with a husband who understands the instruction to love his wife, plain and simple. In Ephesians, the apostle Paul goes on to make sure we don’t misunderstand his true meaning: husbands, you are to love your wives—even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. That is the requirement: the husband

Relationships & Getting Along42must put his wife ahead of himself. That’s what love does. That’s what moral intelligence does! Here are some additional instructions from Scripture for the morally intelligent husband to follow:“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” (Colossians 3:19)“Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.” (Colossians 3:19 msg)Morally intelligent husbands will go all out for their wives! What does that mean on a practical level? It doesn’t necessarily mean going bankrupt to buy the most extravagant gifts or taking your wife out to the most lavish dinners or on the most exotic vacations. Going “all out” means giving our all—all of our passion, all of our favor, all of our self—to her. Husbands, our wives should be our number one priority—far and above ourselves. When husbands behave in this way—the morally intelligent way—the whole family reaps the benets. Here are just a few of the amazing ways this will affect the entire family unit:Wives are able to respect and respond to their husbands.

Moral Intelligence in Marriage43Obviously, being treated in such a biblical way by their husbands will cause wives to respond to their husbands in a positive way—and this will go far to create harmony in the relationship!Sons will learn how to treat their future wives properly.Sons will have a pattern of a morally intelligent marriage to follow—especially with regard to how they should treat their own wives someday.Daughters will learn how they should be treated by their husbands.Whatever shines through the heart of the father will shine into the heart of the children. We must never forget that the family is the classroom of life. Our kids may go to school, but they will learn most of the practical stuff of life from their father. This is especially true of a daughter, who will learn from her father’s relationship with her mother how she herself should be treated in her own future relationships and marriages!“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is tting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)The husbands aren’t the only ones who have a job to do in the marriage. According to God’s Word, wives are to submit themselves to their husbands.

Relationships & Getting Along44Unfortunately, many men have misused this verse and beat women over the head with it (both literally and guratively). Despite that, there is a truth in it: it is morally intelligent for a wife to follow the loving leadership of her husband.Now, all biblically prescribed authority has dimensions to it. It starts at one point; it ends at another specic point. It’s never carte blanche. It has scope, which is limited. Whenever we do away with an authority structure that God designed, we are in error, and that’s not morally intelligent. But, on the other hand, if we take what God designed and amplify it, exaggerate it, and exacerbate it, we are also in error. God designed the marriage roles to work together in harmony: if the husband is loving the wife in the way that he should, it should not be difcult for the wife to submit herself to his leadership.

9Moral Intelligence in the FamilyThe amazing part of all of this is that it takes place in the classroom of God, otherwise known as the family. The family is the rst place where we learn about the love of God—as well as how to be morally intelligent as we put that love into practice.“That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.” (Titus 2:4)It is morally intelligent for a father and the mother to love their children! Beyond that, it is morally intelligent for parents to teach their children the Word of God and His principles for living.“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Relationships & Getting Along46To nurture means to carefully foster, cultivate, and encourage your children. It’s being tender. It’s being gentle—even when discipline is necessary. In addition, moral intelligence in the family applies to the children as well as to the parents. Parents these days often worry about getting their children into the best schools—even going so far as to pay exorbitant amounts of money for preschool tuition, tutors, sports programs, and dance lessons—but if we want our children to be truly intelligent, we must teach them the Word of God:“‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the rst commandment with promise.” (Ephesians 6:2)This verse adds God’s promise to this admonition. When children honor their parents, He says everything else in life will go well with them.It is morally intelligent to honor our father and our mother. To not do so means life most likely won’t go very well. If a person doesn’t respond with honor to a parent who has funded them for eighteen years, providing free room and board, clothes, instruction, entertainment, and so on—if a son or daughter does not honor that one that has provided in such a way—nothing in their life will go well, because there is a

Moral Intelligence in the Family47strange, unintelligent dynamic that affects everything else they do. Now, let’s consider another important part of the family: the sibling relationship—brothers and sisters.“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)A friend loves at all times. That’s a great concept! But look at the rest of the verse: “A brother is born for adversity.”“A true friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” (Proverbs 17:17 tlb)Isn’t that interesting? If you’re fortunate enough to have a brother or a sister in your family, here’s the benet: if adversity comes, you’ve got somebody to back you up! Now, let me make an additional application. Jesus had many names in the Bible. He’s our Savior, the Good Shepherd, even the Prince of Peace. But did you know He’s also called our “Elder Brother”? Have you ever thought of Jesus that way? “And if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we

Relationships & Getting Along48may also be gloried together.” (Romans 8:17)This verse tells us we’re going to become heirs and joint heirs with Jesus. That indicates a sibling relationship! It’s “all in the family” with Jesus Christ.“Just make sure you stay alert. Keep close watch over yourselves. Don’t forget anything of what you’ve seen. Don’t let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live. Teach what you’ve seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.” (Deuteronomy 4:9 msg)It is a sign of moral intelligence to teach our faith—the things of God, including how to live a godly life—to our children and to our children’s children. The Bible gives us a curriculum of what to teach our grandchildren! It’s how to live according to God’s ways and reap the benets of a godly life.“Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.” (Proverbs 17:17 msg)

Moral Intelligence in the Family49Because families and friends stick together in all kinds of trouble, it’s a morally intelligent thing to treat our friends and family members right!

10Moral Intelligence in the Church FamilyThere is also a broader family—and it’s called the family of God. It is morally intelligent for us to recognize the church family as family and treat them accordingly.“Since you have puried your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart.” (1 Peter 1:22)How do we purify our souls? By obeying the truth. We do this through the Spirit. When God gives us a command, He also provides us with the power to do it. I like to compare it to the power steering on your car. If the power steering goes out, can you still steer the vehicle? Yes, you can, but boy, it’s a

Relationships & Getting Along52challenge, isn’t it? When God gives an instruction, it might seem like an impossible challenge at rst, but then comes the “power steering” of the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to fulll the things God wants us to do. That’s why this verse is so important:“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)Who strengthens me? The Spirit of Jesus—the Holy Spirit! He makes it far easier, but here’s the thing: we still have to do the steering. As long as we steer in the right direction, the power to go that way will be given to us. That is how we have the power to love our family members—both those in our own households and those in the family of God—the way God asks us to love them.

11Moral Intelligence in FriendshipsFamily and friends—they often go together, don’t they? In fact, many of us consider some of our closest friends to be just like family members. So, it stands to reason that the moral intelligence we show in our families should also be applied to our friendships.“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)It actually is a refreshment—an ointment and a perfume—to seek “hearty” or godly counsel from our friends.“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins.’” (1 Peter 4:8)

Relationships & Getting Along54Above all things, we are to have fervent charity—fervent love—among ourselves. To whom does “yourselves” refer in this verse? It’s among our family members, our extended family members, our church family, and our friends. We are to have fervent love among ourselves—in all of our relationships. Each of us needs people on whom we can depend, and that’s what we must be to one another: brothers and sisters, friends. Above all things, we must have fervent love among ourselves. That’s not casual. Fervent love is passionate love. It is love that takes action. It is love that goes above and beyond what is required.In addition, this love will cover any differences that we have between ourselves; it will cover a “multitude of sins.”5 Our love for our friends and family members, shown through the way we forgive one another, watch out for one another, and care for one another is also a moral intelligence factor. If we nd out someone in the “family circle” has a need, we should immediately look for ways to meet that need. Love goes beyond any differences that two people have. That’s why the most important factor of moral intelligence here is genuine love, and it must affect all of our relationships: our families, our marriages, our children, our extended family members, our 5 See 1 Peter 4:8.

Moral Intelligence in Friendships55grandchildren, and even the greater body of Christ—because we’re all in this together.

12Moral Intelligence in Other Relationships In addition to those in their own circles, God’s people are called to love those outside their family groups. Each of us lives in a greater society, and we relate to other people, many of whom are strangers to us every day—whether we are at the grocery store, at school, on the job, or even at a stoplight in trafc.John Donne, one of the great poets of the seventeenth century, wrote the famous words, “No man is an island, entire of itself.”6 In other words, isolationism is not the answer; instead, we must live for interconnectivity among mankind—with God as the One connecting us. But in order for us to properly relate to other people, we need moral intelligence. 6 John Donne, “No Man Is an Island,” John Donne - Famous poems, famous poets. - All Poetry, accessed January 27, 2024, https://allpoetry.com/No-man-is-an-island.

13The Benefits of Moral Intelligence in RelationshipsNow that we have seen how moral intelligence should come into play in our relationships—in our marriages, in our families, with our children, in the church, in our friendships, and with everyone we encounter—let’s take a look at the difference this can make in our lives.Moral intelligence creates the power to get along.If we don’t have moral intelligence, we will nd it difcult to get along with others—whether they are members of our own family or strangers on the street. The Bible shares this wonderful principle of how to get along with others:“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who

Relationships & Getting Along60sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)A man who has friends must show himself friendly. Kindness and friendliness are the most basic of moral principles. (In fact, it’s not actually enough to be friendly, but it’s a good start!)What does this “friendliness” entail? Well, being friendly requires gentleness. If we want to get along with other people, we must make sure our speech and tone are gentle as we interact. Ever notice that the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, and so on—are all ways of interacting with other people? As the Holy Spirit produces His good fruit in our lives, our relationships with others inevitably improve. “You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.” (Psalm 18:35)When we foster the gentleness of the Lord in our lives, it will help to make us great—especially in our relationships.

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships61“What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.” (Proverbs 19:22)According to the Lord, what makes a man desirable, at the core level, is kindness. These are moral issues, and when they are brought to bear, they give us the power to get along with others.“Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.” (Psalm 119:165)I include this verse in this discussion not only because it’s one of my favorites but also because it’s a consistent reminder of how I’m supposed to behave with regard to other people. It’s one thing to be friendly—but what if the other person is not friendly in return? At some point, the genuineness of our friendliness is going to be tested. This Scripture tells us that we will have great peace with others when we follow God’s laws. What are those laws? To love others, to be tenderhearted toward one another, to forgive, to be kind. This is moral intelligence at a level few people understand or practice today. It really is almost irrelevant how other people treat you. What is relevant is how you treat them, unrelated to how they treat you!

Relationships & Getting Along62Moral intelligence creates genuine friendships.Without moral intelligence, our friendships will not survive.“He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend.” (Proverbs 22:11)Pureness of heart is a condition of a morally intelligent person. So is grace. Both of these will affect how we talk to—and treat—other people.“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edication, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)We can always tell whether our speech is corrupt or sanctied by the result at the other end. Do we see acceptance or rejection? Moral intelligence gives us the power to be gracious. Graciousness affects how we treat others and creates the foundation necessary for genuine friendships.

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships63Moral intelligence prevents the betrayal of others.Moral intelligence prevents betrayal in relationships. It starts with the spouse. Never betray your husband or wife. It proceeds to the children. Never betray your children. Moral intelligence helps to prevent betrayal; it keeps us from becoming traitors in our relationships. The enemy typically does not come from without but from within. In fact, David experienced this:“Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” (Psalm 41:9)Look at this. David’s close friend, whom he trusted, whom he ate bread with, “lifted up his heel against” David. That means his close friend betrayed him. This is not a small thing right now in our culture. Marriages are being betrayed. Families are being betrayed. Children are being betrayed. Betrayal in our culture has escalated to unspeakable levels.“Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues, for I have seen violence and strife in the city.” (Psalm 55:9)

Relationships & Getting Along64Now watch this. The psalmist saw violence and strife in the city. “Day and night they go around it on its walls; iniquity and trouble are also in the midst of it.” (Psalm 55:10)We’re about to see the cause of this. Let’s not miss the broader scope of this section. “For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my acquaintance.” (Psalm 55:12–13)It was not an enemy who was doing this, as we might have assumed. If it was Russia, if it was China, if it was Cuba, we could handle that. But that isn’t who the perpetrators are, according to these verses. God’s Word tells us that the people who betray us—who harm us the most—come from our inner circle. This is a group of our equals, those with whom we are closely acquainted.

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships65“We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng.” (Psalm 55:14)Those with whom we are in relationship often betray us—and these wounds cut the deepest. You may have gotten the same education and sat in the same classrooms. You may even have gone to church together. Often, the ones who are closest to us hurt us the most—and that is why moral intelligence is an absolute requirement for maintaining our relationships.“As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me.” (Psalm 55:16)This, my friend, is the morally intelligent thing to do. This is the way to respond to what’s going on in our culture right now: call upon the Lord, and He will save you. When we are betrayed, we must fall upon the Lord. He will help us through it. He understands.Moral intelligence provides accurate, heartfelt advice.Moral intelligence provides good advice without treachery, trickery, or a covert agenda. Instead, it’s morally intelligent to give other people the best advice we can give them. Moral intelligence demands that.

Relationships & Getting Along66“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)It’s morally intelligent that we harbor no hidden agenda when we give somebody advice. Instead, we are to share the best possible advice we can. It’s the morally intelligent thing to do.“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)True friendships will bring out the best in each person. That’s the morally intelligent way to practice friendship. Moral intelligence risks warning others.When some people are in big trouble, when they’re heading toward the edge of the precipice, they need honest help. Moral intelligence demands that we risk everything to warn them regarding what’s about to happen. Look at this:“Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.” (Proverbs 27:5)

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships67“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6)The morally intelligent thing to do is to warn people when they are heading in the wrong direction. A friend is willing to risk hurting you in order to help you. You could rank this up there with the doctor who needs to perform surgery on your body. He’s got a knife—a scalpel—and he’s going to hurt you. He’s going to cut you open. However, he does it to help you. The purpose of the hurt is to heal. That’s what our friends are supposed to be like.“Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:2)As New Testament believers, we are to preach the Word of God. When we reprove and rebuke with all patience, we will bring healing to those with whom we are in relationship.

Relationships & Getting Along68Moral intelligence redeems from sin and brokenness.“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)When Jesus came to save us, He allowed Himself to become the very thing God hated the most: sin. He did that for us—for all of us. He didn’t do it just for the “goody two-shoes” religious person, whose self-righteousness convinces them they are good all on their own. No, Jesus came and died for sinners: for the murderers, the thieves, the adulterers, the fornicators, the perverts, the homosexuals, the transvestites—you name it. God loves us all, and Jesus died for us all. God asks us to demonstrate that same kind of love to the people who surround us each and every day.Moral intelligence doesn’t write another person off when they fall into sin or experience challenges in life; instead, it seeks to redeem them from their brokenness. This is reected in our culture right now. Most people are quick to give up on others when hard times come, so if you’re having trouble with another person, don’t write them off—seek to redeem them. They’re broken. They need help. Moral intelligence

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships69does that. The morally intelligent partners with Jesus to seek and save the lost.Moral intelligence testies to all by spreading the Word of God.It’s morally intelligent to spread the Word of God, testifying to everybody. If we know something good, we should share it with those we love—and even strangers on the street! “However, Jesus did not permit him, but said to him, ‘Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.’And he departed and began to proclaim in Decapolis all that Jesus had done for him; and all marveled.” (Mark 5:19–20)When God has done something amazing in your life, nd your friends and tell them all about it! The end result is that when God moves in your life, and you tell others about it, they will marvel at what He has done—and He will be gloried. That’s what we need to do. It is morally intelligent to spread the Word.

Relationships & Getting Along70Moral intelligence rejoices over winning the lost.“And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’” (Luke 15:6) “I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.” (Luke 15:7)The Lord wants us to bring people back into relationship with Him. When we bring others back to God, we get to become a celebrating people. It’s morally intelligent to rejoice over the redemption of the lost!Moral intelligence pays the price to help others.As we know, man is not an island unto himself. We are interconnected. In fact, moral intelligence enables us to get along with each other. Here’s another big tip: the morally intelligent person pays the price, whatever it takes, to help other people. Here’s what Ecclesiastes says:

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships71“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls,For he has no one to help him up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)Two are better than one—and that’s a good reason to get married, by the way! However, this is not about marriage. Two are better than one because they have a reward for their labor. The morally intelligent person realizes it’s all about help. It’s good to have a partner who helps you and other people who can lend you a hand. It’s also good for you to be able to help others in any way you can. It’s morally intelligent to pay the price to help other people. For example, consider this in the Book of Job:“When they cast you down, and you say, ‘Exaltation will come!’ Then He will save the humble person.” (Job 22:29)Depression and discouragement are rampant in our culture right now. Do you know how many medications Americans take every year to ght these issues? However, medication never gets rid

Relationships & Getting Along72of depression—it only masks it. What people need when they feel cast down is for someone else to come along and help them, encouraging them and reminding them that, as it says in Job, “There is a lifting up coming!” In other words, “Let me show you how to put this thing back together again. There is hope!” When that happens, people won’t need all the antidepressants being taken collectively anymore. It’s morally intelligent to pay the price to help people.“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)It’s also morally intelligent to help others because we will get back whatever we sow. Something spiritual happens in this regard—a godly principle comes into play. When we help somebody else, something spiritual happens within us, too. When we lift up somebody else, there’s a reciprocity, an internal kick, a dynamic that occurs. It’s morally intelligent—and benecial to us—to help others.“Everyone helped his neighbor, and said to his brother, ‘Be of good courage!’” (Isaiah 41:6)

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships73Can you imagine what would happen if everybody in America helped each other instead of hindering or competing with one another? What would it be like if everyone helped his neighbor, and said to his brother, “Be of good courage”? Learning to help other people begins with our children when they are still young in heart. Through your model, they learn how to help those in need—how to reach out and touch the broken, feed the hungry, satisfy the thirsty, and counsel the wayward. It is morally intelligent to pay the cost to help others. This is how moral intelligence affects social relationships. So, what’s the cost?“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13)What does this really mean? For Jesus, it meant He would physically lay down His entire life for us on the cross. Sometimes, He still asks people to lay down their physical lives, but many times, He is asking for your time, talent, and treasure. He wants you to give to others freely, just as He did. Whatever the other person needs, we should be willing to give.

Relationships & Getting Along74Moral intelligence realizes Jesus is the best Friend.“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)Moral intelligence realizes that Jesus is the best Friend anyone could ever have. Jesus calls us His friends. He keeps no secrets from us. That’s what friendship is about. Real, genuine friendships don’t have secrets. It’s amazing that Jesus comes along and says that He wants to be more than just our God; He wants to be a Friend.“And the Scripture was fullled which says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.’ And he was called the friend of God.” (James 2:23)What they said of Abraham is true about each person. It is morally intelligent to become a friend of God. If you could choose only one friend in the

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships75entire universe, you should make it God! He will be the best Friend you could ever have.Moral intelligence includes friends refreshing one another.When we have morally intelligent friendships, our time with each other is refreshing. When we get together with a friend, we walk away more blessed and more encouraged than we were before meeting them.“And the next day we landed at Sidon. And Julius treated Paul kindly and gave him liberty to go to his friends and receive care.” (Acts 27:3)So, Julius gave Paul, and then Barnabas and all his followers, the freedom to visit their friends for the purpose of getting refreshed. To refresh means “to revive or reinvigorate, and to renew.”7 That’s what friends are for. This is how moral intelligence affects social intelligence. It puts two people together for the purpose of beneting the other. That’s smart. It’s the morally intelligent thing to do.7 “Refresh,” e Free Dictionary, accessed January 29, 2024, https://www.thefreedictionary.com/refresh.

Relationships & Getting Along76Moral intelligence recognizes Christians as friends.Moral intelligence will recognize fellow Christians as real friends. As the apostle John wrote the conclusion of one of the books of the Bible, he said this:“But I hope to see you shortly, and we shall speak face to face. Peace to you. Our friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.” (3 John 1:14)I don’t know about you, but I want that kind of friendship! We cannot separate our Christian fellowship from friendship. Moral intelligence affects every area of life—and is there a more important area than that of our personal relationships? Those closest to us—our family members, our Christian brothers and sisters, our dearest friends—all benet when we strengthen our relationships by bolstering our moral intelligence. When we put God’s ways and methods rst in our day-to-day interactions with others and put love rst—above all else—with everyone we meet, the ripple effect is nothing short of awesome!To summarize, when we develop moral intelligence in our life, wisdom and good judgment will spill over into all our relationships—with family and friends, fellow believers, loved ones

The Benets of Moral Intelligence in Relationships77and coworkers, and even strangers we meet at the grocery store, the gas station, the library, or the doctor’s ofce.What will be the benets of operating in this wisdom in our day-to-day lives?• We will have the power to get along with others.• We will experience the joy of genuine friendships.• We will experience fewer betrayals in our relationships—both personal and business.• We will be able to offer heartfelt—and accurate—advice to others and receive the same in turn.• We will be able to successfully warn others of dangers in their lives and receive the same warnings in turn.• Through our relationships, we will be further redeemed from sin and brokenness.• Our relationships will testify to others of God’s goodness and grace.• We will be more effective in winning the lost.• We will be empowered to help others—no matter the price.

Relationships & Getting Along78• We will develop an even closer relationship with our best Friend—Jesus.• We will refresh others and, in turn, be refreshed.• We will strengthen our friendships with other members of the body of Christ.I hope the words of this little book have inspired you to pursue moral intelligence and apply it to each and every relationship in your life—your marriage, your children, your family, your friendships, and every interaction you have with others. May every day be the better for it!

Why we give YOU all our books for FREE:“Get the Truth, but do not sell it;Also get wisdom, instruction, and understanding.”(Proverbs 23:23)Why YOU should give all our books for FREEto all your friends and family:“Freely you have received, freely give!”(Matthew 10:8)Find our books here. Share the link with others!

Imagine You—In The Ministry! Yes, that is right, you are in the ministry! Christian ministry is imparting the gospel and biblical truths to others. Anyone can do this with the help of the Holy Spirit.You know people within your scope of in uence who need to be ministered to. Since we are all under biblical command to tell or publish the truth, it’s about communicating that truth with them.“Declare among the nations, Proclaim, and set up a standard; Proclaim—do not conceal it.” (Jeremiah 50:2a)The vital truths of the Bible are explained in detail in our publications, which we provide you without charge. You can share this material to everyone you know.There is a proper sequence to learning truths. On the following pages is our suggestion of the sequence of our material, along with links and descriptions. We must be careful not to dump too much at a time.You’re in the ministry now! The Lord will bless your endeavors! Your rewards will be eternal! “We are workers together with God!”

Why You Were Born - A Blueprint for Discovering Your Life PotentialWhy are you here on planet earth? Once you know why you were born you will have a new appreciation for your true self and a known purpose in life. Then, and only then, can you choose a life path, a course of action and eventually a ful lled life … no disappointments, no pressure to conform to the ideas and expectations of others. You will be free to be you, the real you.In the second part of this book you will learn how to discover your ENA, your Embedded Natural Ability. How tragic that some will cross the stage of time, be standing at the exit sign, and look back only to see a wasted life of insigni cance. None of us can run a good race on the wrong track. “My Way,” only counts if it’s the right way—God’s way. This book is also available as a 12-week group study with a Study Guide, Facilitator’s Guide, Lesson videos, and promotional material. Book Study Guide Facilitator GroupBook: NothingButTheTruth.org/wywbStudy Guide: NothingButTheTruth.org/wywbsgFacilitators Guide: NothingButTheTruth.org/wywbfgGroup Package: NothingButTheTruth.org/wywbkitThese books are free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.have a new appreciation for your true self and a known purpose in life. Then, and course of action and eventually a ful lled conform to the ideas and expectations of

How You See Yourself -The Source of Your Struggle and How to Conquer ItHave you ever gone to a carnival and looked into one of those distorted mirrors, you know, the ones that make you look three feet tall and  ve feet wide? The image of yourself that you see back is distorted. It can produce a good laugh. But many of us struggle with a similar condition – we don’t see ourselves accurately. We are hindered from being the best version of ourselves by this insidious thing called iniquity.Iniquity is mentioned 334 times in the Bible, yet so many remain oblivious to its signi cant and negative impact on everyday living. Iniquity is the ancient term for narcissism. It’s one of the four reason Jesus went to the cross … “He was bruised for our iniquities” (Isa. 53:5). In this book you will not only identify the problems iniquity imposes upon us, but you will also discover the solutions.This book will help you discover:• How iniquity contributes to mental illness• How iniquity causes divorce and destroys households• How conquering iniquity will cause your prayer life to  ourish• How you can  nally live without fear and regret• How to embrace the bene ts that come from being free from iniquity and the way it robs you of your God-given potential!• How iniquity is different from sin NothingButTheTruth.org/hysyThis book is free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.Have you ever gone to a carnival and you know, the ones that make you look of yourself that you see back is distorted. It struggle with a similar condition – we don’t see ourselves accurately. We are hindered

Your Ultimate Life Management System - How Jesus’s Inaugural Address (The Sermon on the Mount) Can Change Your LifeThe prophet Jeremiah lamented (Jeremiah 10:23) “I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.” How can we manage our own path, and live life effectively? Could anything be more important than an ef cient, effective, and trustworthy life-management system? We need a life-management system!A life manager must be faithful, smart enough, wise enough, caring enough, and love you suf ciently to be trusted to direct your life. Hence, Jesus! He loves you, which means He is relentlessly choosing your highest good without any personal pro t or bene t as a motive of His own. In addition, Jesus is a life manager who never quits, and never gives up on you no matter what. He has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you; I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.”In His  rst and possibly most compelling discourse, known as the “Sermon on the Mount,” Jesus outlines a practical, yet powerful life plan for you. Don’t miss it! He is for you. Follow Him. You will never be ashamed.NothingButTheTruth.org/yulmsThis book is free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.I know that the way of man is not A life manager must be faithful, smart enough, wise enough, caring enough, and

High Value Target - When the Good Guys Become the TargetsIf you are a good person, watch out. The bad guys have you in their sights. Our culture has experienced a paradigm shift. It’s popular now to be immoral; and evil is promoted as preferred and desirable. It is objectionable enough that evil is put for good but now the good are put for evil... targeted! You targeted! And so are your children.In High Value Target you will discover the tactics arrayed against you and yours; tactics designed to steal your destiny, kill your dreams, destroy your moral intelligence, and demonize life. You will learn practical and powerful tactics, not only to fend off attacks but how to conquer, what to do of you are targeted as one of the good guys.NothingButTheTruth.org/hvtThis book is free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.bad guys have you in their sights. Our is promoted as preferred and desirable. It is objectionable enough that evil is put for targeted! You targeted! And so are your

Personal Digital Discipleship - How to think, feel, and live truthfullyAs believers we are called to grow and mature in our faith and understanding of what it means to be followers of Christ. Certainly being part of a life-giving church is a key component. But not everyone has access to that.Personal Digital Discipleship is a powerful resource you can use to gain insight and understanding, teaching and training in the ways of God and how to effectively live out your Christian life.Walking you through the steps of being reborn, helping you change the way you think, shifting your emotions to follow God’s direction, replanning your life to align with God’s desires, and helping you reproduce these steps in others, this study can literally change your life.Each of the 30 full-color lessons contains a video component, lesson notes, additional study, application, and steps to share with others. Grow in your Christian walk by going through these insightful lessons.The book can be used for individual or group study. Group helps are listed in the book.NothingButTheTruth.org/pddThis book is free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.

The Virtuous Woman - Your Guide to True FeminismIt is virtue that makes all that is good possible.The most in uential people in any culture are the women!That’s where you can enter as the heroine! YOU, a Virtuous Woman!In the book of Proverbs (called the Book of Wisdom), God speaks of the characteristics of a virtuous woman. Chapter 31 uncovers many of the beautifully illustrated facets of love, virtue, and strength that a woman can possess.As you work your way through this book, the pages unpack each aspect of this amazing woman. Discovering and applying these truths can help you to become a woman of in uence, strength, and character—a motivator, trendsetter, in uencer, and advocate for virtue.This book is designed to celebrate the incomparable gifts and qualities of a virtuous woman and makes a good gift for any woman in your life.NothingButTheTruth.org/virtuousThis book is free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.It is virtue that makes all that is The most in uential people in That’s where you can enter as the heroine! YOU, a Virtuous In the book of Proverbs (called the Book of Wisdom), God speaks of the

Other Helpful ResourcesHow to Have Peace in Dif cult TimesWe live in turbulent times. Society sometimes seems like it is teetering on the brink of chaos.This powerful book will give you keys to experiencing peace and staying calm no matter what may be happening to you or around you. When everyone around you is leaning into fear, panic, tension and worry – YOU have the power to walk in peace, even in dif cult times.NothingButTheTruth.org/peaceFor Every Soldier There Is A Time to Kill and a Time to Heal“To every thing there is a season,And a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die…A time to kill and a time to heal.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)This vivid gift book is written for Veterans. In it they will discover the way to genuine healing. NothingButTheTruth.org/soldierThese books are free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.

Con dence Knowing It Will Go Well With YouWe all want to know if things will turn out ok for us. We desire assurance that all will be well for us and our loved ones. “Can you know this for sure?”  at is the question!NothingButTheTruth.org/confidenceCrush the Hidden Power  at Defeats YouWe are hindered from being the best version of ourselves, the version God intended. We are prevented by this insidious thing called iniquity.NothingButTheTruth.org/crushpowerDiscover Your Spiritual G i   is brief ebook will ex-plain the diff erent spiritual gi s, how they  t in the big picture, the Body of Christ, and how you can discover yours.NothingButTheTruth.org/spiritualgiftThese books are free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.

How to Handle Di cult PeopleI wrote this short e-book to give you some practical, helpful and biblically-based insights on how you can work with people who are, well, challenging.NothingButTheTruth.org/peopleKeys to a Meaningful LifeDo you desire a meaning-ful life? If so, the informa-tion in this ebook should encourage you and help you move toward the ful llment, peace, and joy that a meaningful life brings! NothingButTheTruth.org/keysWords Matter - Speaking Peace to Calm the Storms of LifeChaos shows itself as anger, depression, panic, worry, or mistrust. Peace is the absence of these. So how do we get it?NothingButTheTruth.org/wordsThese books are free to you and for you to send without charge to any and all others as part of your ministry to them.

Nothing But The Truth MinistriesDedicated to the single task of explaining the truth in its simplest and purest form to all peoples of the world.People matter. YOU matter! Truth is the substance of all wise decision-making. So it’s important to know the truth – about you, about why you were born, about every aspect of your life. Truth is wonderful, even when sometimes it may not seem comfortable.This site is dedicated to sharing God’s truth with you – truth that you can apply to your daily life, your relationships, your  nances, your choices, your future.Visit our website at www.NothingButTheTruth.orgAll our resources are available free of charge in digital form. Printed copies are available at our cost of printing plus shipping. WE DO NOT SOLICIT FUNDS, but we give opportunity if it is in a person’s heart to give. We are a 501(c)3 non-pro t organization. All contributions are tax deductible. Contributions to the mission can be made on our website.

The Moral Intelligence SeriesThis book is one in a series on Moral Intelligence. Other topics in this series include: • Politics & Worldview• Career & Worklife• Love & Marrriage• Mental & Emotional Health• Children & Family• Finances & InvestingBe sure to look for other books in this series on our website or wherever you purchase your books.

About the AuthorDavid Johnston is a gifted Bible teacher with a knack for making complex spiritual truths understandable. This is his calling – to show people how to receive and apply God’s Truth to their everyday lives. Raised in a Christian home, David initially rejected much of the Christian teaching that he grew up hearing. However at age 18, he had a life-changing encounter with God that forever changed the trajectory of his life. After graduating college, David began ministering to young people, speaking in high schools and colleges as well as in churches and public venues. He has worked in ministry both in the United States and abroad and for the past several decades has pastored a local congregation in the Jacksonville, Florida, area (King of Kings Church) and led a non-prot ministry called Nothing But the Truth Ministries. Reach out to David at: www.nothingbutthetruth.org