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MMRD December 3, 2016 Bout- For The Pun of The Game.

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Minnesota Men’s Roller Derby presents
Thunderjacks vs. Destruction Workers
Champions Hall, December 3, 2016
Tickets $10 at the door
Doors @ 6:30pm | First whistle @ 7:00pm
Season 8
When they do, we have EMTs standing by. We also have
insurance. If a skater goes down, we ask that you be
respectfully quiet until they are back on their feet or out
the door on a gurney.
If it looks painful, it probably is. Injuries happen.
We don’t want to hurt you.
If you said those guys skate like girls, you’d be
right. Tonight’s event is played by the Women’s
Flat Track Derby Association’s rules. It only
makes sense, since the male skaters ar
referees, husbands, and fans of the women’s
leagues. Men’s Derby is still in it’s infancy, with
only a dozen teams nationwide, but it’s growing
every day. It probably goes without saying that
Women’s Derby is flourishing, but the men
would like to say that they are humbled, and
proud to share the track this evening.
No, fighting will result in expulsion. But this
doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be big hits.
There will be huge hits. Seriously, the guys
may skate like girls, but they hit like guys.
Guys with something to prove.
Let’s call the front row “Suicide Row.” Ok. Now you
may have noticed that Suicide Row is a very empty
10 feet from the action. Our guys and gals are moving
very quickly, and not necassarily in full control. By
sitting in the front or the second row (they’ve been
known to jump over the first row) you agree that we
will not be held responsible for any damage that may
occur, or any spilled beer for that matter.
Kids under 18 are not allowed in Suicide Row.
I Thought Roller Derby was a girl’s game..!
Aren’t you going to fight?
Blockers attempt to stop the opposing teams
Jammer while helping their own Jammer
through the pack. The Blockers and Pivot must
form a pack, and cannot take action if more
than 20 ft from the pack
Know this player by the stripe on his/her
helmet. He/she leads his/her squad of blockers
into combat, setting the pack speed and
barking out orders. He/she also gets to take
the penalties earned by the group.
Look for the stars on his/her helmet and expect
great speed. Its the Jammers job to score all
the points, which he/she does by lapping
opposing players.
The Bout is played in a series of
Jams. Each jam is at most 2 minutes
The rst jammer to legally pass
through the pack is declared Lead
Jammer, and may terminate the jam
at any time, preferably after having
scored some points by passing
opposing players on his subsequent
How to Signal Like a Ref
(Put some shit here.)
Back Block
Tripping/Low Block
Cutting the Track
Illegal Procedure
Pack is Here
Lead Jammer
Tonight’s action is brought to you by
Derby Time!
6:30 - Doors Open
7:05 - Derby 101(5m)
7:10 - First Half Begins
7:50 - First Half Ends
7:50 - Half-time begins (Pun contest)
8:05 - Half-time ends
8:10- Second Half Begins
8:55 - Second Half Ends
After Party!
Join us for the after party at the Champi-
ons Hall events room!
Baron von Beans - 609
DoF Lensgren - 1850
drewraffe - 1134
eNigma - 2
Ferris Crueller - 73
Live Bait - 22
Merlinus Caledoneis - 540
N8ers gonna N8 - 88
Sampson - 66
Scary Busey - 230
Skater X - 9
smalls - 67
Smash - 64
Steve Sweat - 808
Tyranosaurus Wrecks - .75
Willociraptor - 889
Zero Fox - 0
Bones - 18
Citizen Canine - 187
Cyanide Slam - 86
David Smashelhoff - 2000
Derbie Monster - 00
Fire Wally - 404
Knox Hedzin - 911
Marine One - 53
Matterhorn - 478
Ninja Pony - 373k
Paul of Duty - 0405
Pippie - 3
Slamrock Shake - 317
Slamurai Jack - 26
Tyler Derbin - 1775
Whiplash - 268
York - 27
MMRD would like to thank all the volunteers, officials, and
bench coaches who contribute, both with their time, and
financially. Without all of you, we couldn’t do what we do.
MMRD is seeking sponsors for the current season, future
seasons and special events. Contact us on
Be sure to check out for events,
calendars, rosters, stats, media and recruiting
Minnesota Men’s Roller Derby is always
looking for more sponsers. Show your
support and get your business featured.