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Play Group Orientation Packet

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Play GroupOrientation6017 NE Sandy Blvd. Portland, OR 97213Beech Street Parenting

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A f f i r m a t i o n“When it comes to parenting, the practice of framing mothers and fathers asgood or bad is both rampant and corrosive -- it turns parenting into a shameminefield. The real questions for parents should be: ‘Are you engaged?’ ‘Areyou paying attention?’ If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions.Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try tofigure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandateis not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn’t exist, and I’vefound that what makes children happy doesn’t always prepare them to becourageous, engaged adults.” - Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

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Table ofContentsBeech Street Mission StatementPurpose of Play Group GatheringsFlow of ClassFAQ'sUninterrupted PlayAsk No Ages Policy04050607081 1More info about RIE12+

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Welcome!Beech Street Parenting is on a mission to radically reframeinfants and toddlers for families, caregivers, and society atlarge. RIE-inspired, research-minded, and based in kindness,our goal is to help adults see young children as people whodeserve respect.At Beech Street, we understand that the word "respect" cancarry a somewhat empty connotation, so we help break downspecific, actionable mindsets and moves caregivers can maketo ensure intentional, attuned care for their children. MissionStatement04

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Purpose of ourPlay GroupsLet's connect with ourbabies and each otherthrough keenobservation and warmconversation.05

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Flow ofClassI will curate the environment and set outdevelopmentally appropriate, open-ended play objects for theinfants/toddlers to engage with. When you arrive, we will greet eachother and chat. Please hang up your coats, stash yourbags, take off our shoes and join us in theplay space.Choose a space that you will sit(generally) for the remainder of ourcohort in order for your child to buildtrust in the environment and your positionwithin it. The children can begin playing wheneverthey are ready, I'll ask adults a check-inquestion when the majority ofparticipants have arrived. You can shareor pass but I like giving everyone theopportunity to speak if they choose. Adults will sit back and quietly observethe children play independently andtogether.After a period of peaceful noticing, wewill begin an open-ended conversationabout respectful caregiving: what wenoticed during play, celebrations andchallenges of parenthood, questions youhave, etc. I want you all to have time toget to know each other! 06

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Some Q's:what...As the facilitator, I’ll help the babies learnto be gentle with each other by modelingbeing gentle and helping guide theircurious hands away from each other’seyeballs and hair :) We’re all going to be strengthening of ourmeditative-like noticing and phones willlikely detract from that mission. You'rewelcome to take the occasional photo ofyour own child, but please be mindful of theglowing rectangle's presence.Consider ease of mobility for your child,consider you will be sitting on a floor chairfor yourself.Sheesh. We get it. You might be late andthat is just fine. Join us when you can andwe’ll be happy to see you! if I'mlate?shouldwe wear?aboutphones?is "selectiveintervention?"07

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Uninterrupted PlayBabies are born knowing how to play. They have an intrinsicdesire to explore and learn. By sitting back and noticingwhat our children chose to do, we are learning to trustthem, their capacities, their efforts, and their uniquedevelopmental timelines. For some of us, it might be easy to sit back and quietlyobserve. For others, it might be more difficult-- this is aspace where we can be honest about our feelings.Yes, interaction is INCREDIBLY important -- relationshipsare essential to brain development. If a child interactswith you, absolutely reciprocate. We want to beresponsive, we just don't want to take over their play. 08

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Young children have a right to know about transitions. Going from being held toplaying independently can feel like a big transition. Here is an example of a skillededucator transitioning an infant from rest to independent play. Note that the wholeprocess takes about four minutes. That may seem long to you, but moving slowlywill help your infant feel oriented to the space. Infants tend to respond very well tothis peaceful pace and it may set them up for success playing independently,especially when their basic needs are met (they are rested, have a fresh diaper,aren't super hungry, and feel emotionally connected to their caregiver). You maydo all of this and your infant will tell you that they still want to be held, and that isperfectly okay.Do you notice the way the caregiver speaks to the child, alerting him about everystep of the process?Do you notice the way she introduces her hands? How about how she lifts themoff of his body?How did the pace feel to you? How do you think it feels to the infant?Do you notice the way she supports his body in a supine position rather thanhoisting him over her shoulder? His spine is supported and he is allowed to seewhere he was headed. Do you see the way she places him down, with his booty first so he makesgrounding contact before his sensitive head is lowered?Did you catch that she tells him she is about to leave rather than sneaking off? Inthis way, she builds trust with this child and helps him trust the space.The pace of arespectfultransition to play

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"Supervising"I think of "supervising" as looking out to make sure thatyour child DOESN'T do something dangerous. "Baby-proofing" helps alleviate some supervisory stress.It is in the name of supervision that parents often restricttheir children's movements in chairs and other devices. A"yes space" or "prepared environment" is a safealternative to that confinement. Semantics"Watching"To me, watching connotes that you're looking out forsomething TO happen. Are they going to be able to do thepuzzle? When are they finally going to roll?When we are watching from this anticipatory mindset, we'remore likely to see deficits (and more likely to jump in to"help"). I've seen closed-ended objects elicit this approachmore often (puzzles, shape sorters, that sort of thing) and itis a big reason we use open-ended play objects during playgroups. "Observing"I think of true observation as being close to meditation. You're living in the moment, free of expectations, tunedinto your child's actions.There's something both scientific and spiritual aboutobserving in this way -- you're learning about your childAND you're completely okay with whatever they chooseto do. They are enough and you're presencecommunicates this unconditional, loving acceptance.

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11A note about theask no ages policyThe IntentionWe are trying to build an inclusive, judgment-free environment and, while askinga child’s age is absolutely the most common first question when interacting with anew parent, I’d like us to try to avoid it in an effort to remember that all childrendevelop on their own timeline. Let’s be gentle with ourselves if we forget but let’sjust try to hold the intention behind the idea.

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A LITTLEBIT ABOUT RIE12

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What is RIE ?RIE (pronounced "rye") stands forResources for Infant EducarersIt is difficult to emphasize how important RIE is to my life without sounding like I'm in awild Magda Gerber (the co-founder) cult. I first learned about RIE years ago from myfriend and colleague Tanya (a fellow early childhood educator at Google at the time)and I've been studying and implementing the approach (personally and professionally)ever since. At its core, RIE is a caregiving philosophy deeply rooted in a secure,respectful relationship between the infant and caregiver. Following RIE has allowed meto feel both deeply connected to my kids and freely autonomous as my own,confidently imperfect and ever-developing person. RIE promotes treating infants aspeople who deserve respect (a radical and commonsensical idea). Podcast episodes on RIE"The Science of RIE""Three RIEParenting Basics""Using the RIEMethod to createstrong parent-infantrelationships"

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BASIC RIEPRINCIPLES

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RIER E S P E C TBasic Principles from RIE.org"We not only respectbabies, we demonstrateour respect every timewe interact with them.Respecting a child meanstreating even theyoungest infant as aunique human being, notas an object." -Magda Gerber

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RIE"An authentic child is one who feels secure, autonomous,competent, and connected." "When we help a child to feel secure, feel appreciated, feel that“somebody is deeply, truly interested in me,” by the way we justlook, the way we just listen, we influence that child’s wholepersonality, the way that child sees life." - Magda Gerber AUTHENTICITYBasic Principles from RIE.org

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"We have basic trust in the infant tobe an initiator, to be an explorereager to learn what he is ready for." "Because of this trust, we providethe infant with only enough helpnecessary to allow the child to enjoymastery of her own actions." - Magda Gerber RIETRUSTBasic Principles from RIE.org

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"Our method, guided by respect for the infant’s competence, isobservation. We observe carefully to understand the infant’scommunications and his needs." "The more we observe, the more we understand and appreciatethe enormous amount and speed of learning that happens duringthe first two or three years of life. We become more humble, weteach less, and we provide an environment for learning instead." - Magda Gerber RIESENSITIVEOBSERVATIONBasic Principles from RIE.org

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"During care activities (diapering, feeding, bathing, dressing, etc.),we encourage even the tiniest infant to become an activeparticipant rather than a passive recipient of the activities.Parents create opportunities for interaction, cooperation,intimacy and mutual enjoyment by being wholeheartedly with theinfant during the time they spend together anyway." “Refueled” by such unhurried, pleasurable caring experiences,infants are ready to explore their environment with only minimalintervention by adults." - Magda Gerber RIEINVOLVEMENTBasic Principles from RIE.org

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"Our role is to create anenvironment in which thechild can best do all thethings that the child woulddo naturally. The morepredictable anenvironment is, the easierit is for babies to learn." As infants become moremobile, they need safe,appropriate space in whichto move. Their natural,inborn desire to moveshould not be handicappedby the environment." -Magda Gerber RIEENVIRONMENTBasic Principles from RIE.org

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"We give the infantplenty of time foruninterrupted play.Instead of trying to teachbabies new skills, weappreciate and admirewhat babies are actuallydoing." - Magda Gerber RIEFREE PLAY &MOVEMNTBasic Principles from RIE.org

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RIE"We establish clearly defined limits and communicateour expectations to develop self discipline." - Magda Gerber CONSISTENCYBasic Principles from RIE.org

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RIE ReadingBig names in the RIE realm: Magda Gerber, Dr. Emmi Pikler, Janet LansburyRIE is a caregiving philosophy developed by Magda Gerber, who was inspired bythe Hungarian pediatrician Dr. Emmi Pikler. Their work has been popularized bythe podcast host and writer, Janet Lansbury. There are eight Basic Principles inRIE: mutual respect, authenticity, trust in the infant's competence, sensitiveobservation, involvement during caregiving routines, a safe, challenging,predictable environment, time for uninterrupted play/freedom to explore andmove, and consistency. If RIE is resonating with you, I highly encourage you pickup one of these books and do a deep dive. The RIE Reading Canon*Shop my Bookshop.org page to support me and LOCAL BOOKSTORES. These titles and more available in my "Parenting Books" section.

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Thank you!always feel free to reach out with questions,concerns, feedback, thoughts of any sort --I'm always learning and trying to improve.www.beechstreetparenting.comCourtney Dern:beechstreetparenting@gmail.com