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Message Biddulph Doctors Bereavement support leaet My Loved One has died What happens next?
The whole team here at biddulphdoctors would like to oer our condolences to you on your recent bereavement. We know that the death of a loved one can be an incredibly dicult me and the contents of this leaet have been created to help support you through this dicult process. Some arrangements will need to be made very soon, at a me when you may be feeling parcularly vulnerable. With this in mind we have tried to simplify the next steps to help support you over the coming days and weeks. 1. Look aer yourself 2. Arrange the death cercate 3. Register the Death 4. Arrange the Funeral 5. Leng others know 6. Think about your loved one’s will and estate 7. Get some further support
1/ Looking aer yourself When someone dies the loss is unique to you and grief will aect you individually. How someone else experiences loss may not be the same as how you do, and the grief you have felt aer a dierent bereavement might feel dierent to this one. Bereavement is highly personal, with people going through a range of emoons when someone close to them dies; it may be an extremely dicult and traumac me for you. A key piece of advice is to experience this loss as you need to, it is a very individual experience, no one knows exactly how you feel. Also, we urge you to be gentle on yourself, allow yourself me and don’t “feel bad” for anything you are experiencing, or for what you need at this me. Guilt is a common feeling. It may be helpful to think of grief as a journey, rather than a place you need to get to. It may take me to feel more like you again or you might have a new normal. Grief is not a straighorward line and you may nd it comes back and hits you hard when you are not expecng it. Some common emoons are: • Shock and Numbness • Sadness • Guilt • Anger • Shame • Loneliness • Depression It is oen very hard to think about yourself when you have lost someone and you are hurng. Perhaps if this is parcularly hard for you, ask others for help to support you with this.
During this me: 1. Try to take care of yourself – eat and drink properly and try to rest. 2. Don’t be rushed- Don’t feel under pressure to make decisions unl you are ready. In parcular, don’t make major changes in your own life too quickly (unless absolutely necessary) and don’t make nancial decisions you don’t fully understand. 3. Worried family members may want to make decisions about nances or your living arrangements, whilst you can’t avoid these forever, please give yourself me to consider everything carefully. 4. Remember that those around you will be experiencing this bereavement dierently, give each other space, me and understanding. 5. Talk if you need to, to family, friends, colleagues, neighbours – somemes people struggle to know what to say when someone is grieving but they are usually happy to listen and be there for you, be open about how you feel. There are lots of people out there to help you, at the back of this leaet there are some agencies and telephone numbers that will be able to advise and support you at this dicult me. 6. It’s ok to look towards the future and make realisc plans if you feel able, but there is no rush. 7. Remember your GP is there for you. Loss can cause a range of physical and mental symptoms, from sleeplessness and headaches to digesve problems and breathlessness. You may feel forgeul, have mood swings or be aggressive. These are normal reacons to loss, if you feel you have any concerns about your physical or mental health you should contact your GP.
2/ Arranging the death cercate Vericaon of death A qualied health professional will need to conrm the death (called vericaon). In the community this is usually done by one of the care home nurses or the district/ community nurses. They will then usually contact the GP surgery to advise of the death but it is a good idea to also phone your loved one’s GP surgery to check they are aware. They may also ask a few quesons to help the death cercate be completed as quickly as possible. Doctors cause of death Cercate and Medical Examiner service For most deaths, a Medical Cercate stang the Cause of Death (MCCD) needs to be produced by a doctor (usually a GP for deaths in the community) who send it to the Medical Examiners to review the circumstances surrounding a person’s death. Medical Examiners are senior doctors who have received specialist training to become a Medical Examiner. The Medical Examiner provides an independent review/scruny of the death, oering families and carers of the person who has died an opportunity to ask quesons or raise concerns about the care their loved one received prior to death. Medical Examiners are independent and therefore will not have been involved in the care of the deceased. The next of kin or other named contact will receive a call from the Medical Examiner’s oce to ask a few quesons about the paent and their care. There are leaets about the Medical Examiner service we can give you for further informaon. You can contact the Medical Examiner Service on 01785 230532 or medicalexaminer.referrals@nhs.net.
Coroners referrals If the death is unnatural or unexpected or no doctor at the surgery has seen the paent alive, then the death will need to be referred to the coroner rst. This does not mean that a postmortem will be needed and most coroner referrals do not result in a postmortem. This oen does mean that there may be a delay before the MCCD. You can contact the coroners oce if you need to on 01782 234777 or by email on staordshireandstokecoroners@stoke.gov.uk Other Health and social care services Contact any other health and social care services that were involved with your loved ones care that might be coming out to visit or have appointments booked e.g. local hospital, home care agencies, social services, pharmacy. It can be upseng to have to tell someone knocking on the door unexpectedly or calling to nd out why they haven’t come for an appointment. If the district nurses have been involved they will be happy to advise and help you contact any other agencies of services concerned (The district nurses can be contacted by calling 01782 831110).
3/ Registering the death The medical examiner service will send the MCCD directly to the registrar. You then have 5 days in which to register the death. The death may be registered by the person arranging the funeral, the person present at the me of death or a relave of the person that has died. Consider taking someone with you for support as for many people this may be a parcularly emoonal experience when the death becomes more ‘real’. The Registrar will have the Medical Cercate that states the Cause of Death (MCCD) when you arrive but you will need to take the following informaon: - The person’s full name at the me of death Any names previously used (e.g. maiden name) - The person’s date and place of birth - Their usual address - Their occupaon and whether they were rered - The full name, date of birth and occupaons of a surviving or late spouse or civil partner - Whether they were geng a State Pension or other benets (including war pension books) It is helpful to take the deceased’s birth cercate, marriage or civil partnership cercate (if applicable) and their NHS medical card. Taking supporng documents (e.g. a ulity bill) which show your own name and address would be helpful too.
At the end of your appointment, you will receive: 1. A Death Cercate (There is a small charge for this and consider buying addional Death Cercates as it is oen the case that these are needed later to nofy other organisaons about the death). This is a copy of the entry on the death register. 2. A cercate for burial or cremaon (known as the Green Form, to be given to the funeral director). 3. A cercate of the registraon of death (form BD8, to be sent to the local social security oce with pension and benet books). 4. Leaets relang to benets and a booklet produced by the department of social security and the ‘tell us once’ service
4/ Arranging the funeral Arranging a funeral can oen be a challenging me and it can somemes feel overwhelming. It is helpful to start by thinking about what the person who died would have wanted – they may have le instrucons for their funeral in their will or within a leer of wishes, or they may have purchased a funeral package before they died. If the person le no clear wishes, the executor of the will or nearest relave will usually decide if the body is to be buried or cremated and what type of funeral will take place. Try to keep your loved one at the heart of the planning and consider what they may have preferred even if they didn’t record this. Remember that you are doing the best that you can in dicult circumstances. You may also wish to contact a minister of religion for the person who has died or a celebrant if you have not already done so. Choosing a funeral director: Aer the death has been conrmed (veried), you may contact a funeral director. Your loved one may have already chosen a funeral director, or friends/family may have a preference. Although it is not a legal requirement many people choose to use a professional funeral director to manage funeral arrangements. Families oen nd recommendaons of funeral directors from family and friends useful. You may also nd it helpful to consider the locaon of the funeral director, if it is close to home for example it may be more praccal for you. Please bear in mind that the cost of a funeral can vary between funeral directors. If you are using a funeral director we would always suggest you use if funeral director who is a member of one of these organisaons: Naonal Associaon of Funeral Directors (www.nafd.org.uk), Naonal Federaon of Funeral Directors (www.nd.org.uk) or Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (www.saif.org.uk).
Some people prefer to arrange a direct cremaon as they feel this is more personal and can save costs. If you are thinking of doing this we recommend you contact the Cemeteries and Crematorium Department of the local council (hps://www.stasmoorlands.gov.uk/cemeteries). Paying for the funeral: As well as being stressful to organise funerals are expensive and we recognise that, for some people, aording a funeral can cause concern. Funeral Directors are for the most part understanding of being in this dicult predicament. However it is usual pracce for a funeral director to ask for a deposit (this is usually around £1000). Funerals can be paid for by: - you or another family member - a lump sum from the deceased’s life insurance or pension scheme - the deceased’s estate (any money or assets they le). Funeral costs take precedence over other debts and banks must release funds for funeral expenses, however if there is a delay with this you may need to pay the cost in the meanme - a pre-paid funeral plan arranged by the deceased If you are unable to meet the funeral costs you may be able to get help if you have a low income and meet the criteria. Visit www.gov.uk/funeral-payments for further informaon.
5/ Leng others know Once you have registered the death, you can also use the ‘tell us once’ government service (see hps://www.gov.uk/aer-a-death/organisaons-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once ). It is a free service which you can opt for when you register the death which will inform many local and central government departments, so you don’t have to inform them all individually. You will sll have to separately contact: - contact banks and mortgage providers - insurance providers - companies that the person had contracts with, like ulity companies, landlords or housing associaons - personal or workplace pension schemes, unless they’re one of the public sector pension schemes that Tell Us Once contacts - update property records if the person owned land or property - DVLA if they owned a vehicle - HMRC if they owe business taxes like VAT - Student Loans company if they had a student loan from them You can also consider registering the name and address of someone who’s died to stop unsolicited mail by contacng the bereavement register (hps://www.thebereavementregister.org.uk/).
6/ The Will and the estate When someone dies, you may need to obtain the legal right to deal with their property, money and possessions (called the estate). If the person who has died has le a will it will name executors of the will. This is called obtaining Probate and is a legal document which then gives the legal right to executors of a will permission to administer the estate according as the deceased wished. If the Estate is small and the property automacally passes to a partner, or you live in rented accommodaon then Probate is not always necessary. There is no fee for applying for Probate if the Estate is worth less than £5000 otherwise the fee is £300. If there is no will (known as dying intestate) the closest living relave can apply to administer the Estate. All you have to do is complete the Probate applicaon form and ck the box which says 'no will' which means you are applying for leers of administraon. With regard to your home if it is owned jointly so that the share of the deceased automacally transfers to the survivor then all you have to do is complete Form DJP from the land registry website. You then send this form together with a death cercate to: H.M. Land Registry, Cizen Centre, P O Box 7806, Bilston. WV1 9QR. There is no charge for this service and the property will have the name of the deceased removed from the tle deeds. We recommend you seek legal advice in this area if you are unsure how to proceed. There is also lots of helpful informaon on: www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate
7/ Geng more support Name Support oered Contact/ Visit Age UK Informaon and advice for people in later life hps://www.ageuk.org.uk/ 0800 169 65 65 At a Loss Helping bereaved people nd support and well being hps://www.ataloss.org/ Blue Cross Pet loss service hps://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss 0800 096 6606 Cizens Advice Biddulph For general advice 0808 278 78 76 hp://www.casns.org.uk/ advice@casns.org.uk Child Bereavement UK Helps families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies hps://www.childbereavementuk.org/ Compassionate Friends Supporng bereaved parents and their families hps://www.tcf.org.uk/ 0345 123 2304 Cruse Bereavement support hps://www.cruse.org.uk/ 0808 808 1677 Dougie Mac Hospice Bereaved carer friendship group 01782 344300 Dove Bereavement and Loss Counselling hps://thedoveservice.org.uk/ 01782 914455 Good Grief Trust Help and Hope all in one place hps://www.thegoodgrierust.org/ Naonal bereavement service Provide experienced advice and informaon on how to handle praccal issues and legal administraon following a bereavement. hps://thenbs.org/ 0800 0246 121
Omega Support to reduce social isolaon and loneliness hps://omega.uk.net/ 01743 245 088 Registrar’s Oce Biddulph For registering the death triagesupport@staordshire.gov.uk 0300 111 8001 RoadPeace Provide informaon and support services to people bereaved or seriously injured in road crashes hps://www.roadpeace.org/ 0800 160 1069 Samaritans Support for those having a dicult me. They also run zoom groups ‘Facing the future’ supporng people bereaved by suicide hps://www.samaritans.org/ Call 116 123 SANDS Baby and pregnancy loss bereavement charity hps://www.sands.org.uk/ 0808 164 3332 SLOW Support following the loss of your child or sibling hps://slowgroup.co.uk/ 07532 423 674 SHOUT Provide urgent mental health support by text Text 85258 SUDEP Supporng and working alongside those whose loved ones have died suddenly from an epilepsy-related death hps://sudep.org/ 01235 772 852 Survivors of bereavement by suicide UK Peer-led support to adults impacted by suicide loss hps://uksobs.com/ 0300 111 5065 WAY – widowed and Young Support for those widowed under the age of 50 hps://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/ 0300 201 0051
Winston’s Wish helps children, teenagers and young adults (up to the age of 25) nd their feet when their worlds are turned upside down by grief hps://winstonswish.org/ 08088 020 021 Some other organisaons also provide some excellent booklets with more informaon. When someone dies : hps://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/informaon-guides/ageukig03_when_someone_dies.inf.pdf Coping with the death of a Loved one: hps://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/informaon-guides/ageukig32_bereavement_inf.pdf Coping with bereavement: hps://www.independentage.org/sites/default/les/2024-08/Advice-Guide%20-%20Coping%20with%20bereavement_1.pdf Allow Grief: hps://www.thedoveservice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Allow-Grief-Leaet.pdf
If you need to contact us here are our details: Biddulphdoctors Biddulph Primary Care Centre Wharf Road Biddulph Stoke On Trent ST8 6AG Main Phone: 01782 432420 www.biddulphdoctors.nhs.uk