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Building Healthy Futures-developing adult understanding and capability to improve child outcomesTrauma Perceptive Practice (TPP)The Essex Approach to Understanding Behaviour and Supporting Emotional WellbeingAn Introduction for Community Partners“People not programmes change people” Bruce PerryThis can be an emotional topic which may affect any of us here in many different ways. Be mindful and sensitive towards yourself and each other.

Day 1 Agenda & ObjectivesAgenda:• Social, Emotional, Mental Health (SEMH)• Trauma• TPP: The Essex Approach• Investment, values & mindset• Looking after the adults• Brain development, mental health & childhood trauma2

Social, Emotional & Mental Health (SEMH) NeedsChildren and young people may experience a wide range of social and emotional difficulties which manifest themselves in many ways. These may include becoming withdrawn or isolated, as well as displaying challenging, disruptive or disturbing behaviour. These behaviours may reflect underlying mental health difficulties such as anxiety or depression, self-harming, substance misuse, eating disorders or physical symptoms that are medically unexplained. Other children and young people may have disorders such as attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactive disorder or attachment disorder.Schools and colleges should have clear processes to support children and young people, including how they will manage the effect of any disruptive behaviour so it does not adversely affect other pupils. SEND Code of Practice (2015)3

Definition of TraumaWithin TPP, we define trauma as a response to a perceived threat to survival or emotional wellbeing of an individual.Trauma leads to adverse brain, bodily and psychological changes that damage self, relational development and impair living, learning and working.Two elements that need to be present for trauma to occur:• An external event , incident or threat to a person.• The internal response to that threat depending on many factors.

SEMH & TPP in Essex Schools• TPP makes up the core/universal, ‘Ordinarily Available’ offer for SEMH in schools in Essex.• It is led by the SEMH Strategy Team within the local authority's Education team.• TPP is for all Essex schools and settings and is free.• It accounts for 15-18 hours of CPD for the whole school/setting, over 2-4 terms.• TPP is a Train the Trainer model. Every school/setting involved has a lead.5

Trauma PerceptivePracticeIt is who you areIt is an approach underpinned by valuesIt is not a checklistThe foundation for caring relationshipsBest practice for all childrenTrauma responsive Beliefs –whyTrauma Invested-whoTrauma Informed Capability- howTrauma sensitive understanding behaviour on the basis of what has happened rather than what is wrongTrauma aware environment-When and whereWhat is TPP

• Dysregulation• Co-regulation• Self-regulation• Window of Tolerance• Hyper-arousal• Hypo-arousalKey Language of TPP• Stress• Distress• Adaptive response• Attachment• Upstairs brain• Downstairs brain7

TPP • isn’t a ‘quick fix’ or a ‘magic wand’ for ‘sorting out’ ‘difficult’ children or children who may ‘cause harm’• isn’t filled with strategies • isn’t a specialist support fix for mental health issues • isn’t a checklist or ticklist• will not label childrenWhat TPP won’t do

The 9 Elements of TPP

Element 1Investment, values and mindset • Why we need TPP• Values & Mindset

RationaleWe can no longer ignore the vast amount of emerging research and clinical evidence that has radically improved our understanding of the physiological, emotional and psychological development of children and the way that trauma and neglect impact on normal developmental processes. Educators deserve to know and yet…..11

Educators report feeling under-equipped to support children with social, emotional and mental health needs. They often feel torn between the needs of these children and with other children.A recent survey (2019) carried out by the Times Educational Supplement reported that‘60% of teachers say they’ve had no relevant training on the needs of children who have experienced trauma.’

“The same sponge-like properties that enable our brain to absorb experiences such as language in the first 3 years of our life also absorb• Chaos• Threat • Fearwith the same facility as absorbing language”Bruce D. Perry, MD PhD Children are More Vulnerable to Trauma than Adults

Evidence base for childhood trauma: Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)Beginning in 1994, the "adverse childhood experiences" (ACE) study, assessed the relationship between adult health risk behaviours and childhood abuse and household dysfunction.Respondents were given a score of one for each ACE category that they experienced.ACEs include: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, domestic violence, substance misuse, mental illness, parental separation/divorce, parental imprisonment.Why the interest in trauma?

Consider:Compared with people with no ACEs, those with 4+ ACEs are (English study 2013)How many times more likely are people to…• Have used heroin/crack or been incarcerated x how many?• Currently binge drinking x?• Be a current smoker x?• Have had or caused an unplanned teenage pregnancy x?• Have been involved in violence in the last year x?• Have had sex while under 16 years old x?Match with these answers: 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 11

Have used heroin/crack or been incarcerated = x11Currently binge drinking = x2Be a current smoker = x3Have had or caused an unplanned teenage pregnancy = x6Have been involved in violence in the last year = x7Have had sex while under 16 years old = x5Answers:

VideoACEShttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-r3Xi7qByU6 minutes

Fast becoming an approach to consider developmental trauma –which is good but it is not without its limitations:• Research based on adults self–reporting• Didn’t enquire about the timing of ACEs• Cannot assume what is a traumatic experience• What would not be helpful is for ACEs to become about screening or diagnosis• Crucial difference between ‘screening’ and ‘listening’We need to be cautious of how people attempt to interpret and apply ACE research.The ACEs Research Critique

What can we do?• have frameworks for understanding complex behaviour and emotions• ideas for strategies when working with children and young people (all based on building trusting relationships and strengthening connectedness)• opportunities to consider what may help together as an on-going support system for staff (e.g. supervision, staff sharing groups)Strengthen connectedness

Becoming trauma perceptive is about the journey through the followingvalues and mindsetpractices policies

A shift from traditional language to a trauma perceptive description of vulnerable children and young people can create…Compassion and kindness instead of blame and shameHope instead of hopelessnessConnection and belonging rather than disconnection(adapted from the work of Beacon House)Values & Mindsets

Behaviour is something to interpretChildren and young people are prone to make mistakes and highly responsive to the environment and the contextBehaviour management is predominantly throughrelationshipsChildren who don’t manage should beunderstood and includedBoundaries are to keep everyone safe and to meet everyone’s needsRules should be developed together and adapted where needed

Consequences are only used within a process of restore and repair‘Inappropriate’ behaviour isa sign of unmet need, stress (difficulty in coping), lack of knowledgeThe causes of the difficulties aremostly in the environment and within the context of relationshipsThe solutions lie in understanding what the behaviour tells us about the child and their needPractice and policy effectiveness is measured bywellbeing and the capacity to adapt and make reasonable adjustments to meet the needs

Element 2Looking after the adults• The importance of staff wellbeing• Maslow’s hierarchy of need for staff

Oxygen Mask Analogy Taking care of staff first will enable them to take better care of the children.“Pupils can only blossom if the ground that is feeding them is well nourished and refreshed.” (Briner and Drewberry 2007)

Consider: What are the pressures on you which affect your emotional wellbeing?-at work-elsewhere…

Your own emotional wellbeingChild’s wellbeingWork, e.g. Workload, inspections, etcHome/FamilySocial life

The Humanist Theory – Maslow’s Hierarchy [ Instinctive and deficiency needs ] [Growth][ Basic ] [ Social ][ Emotional ]Abraham Maslow 1943Self-actualisationPersonal growth and fulfilmentEsteem needsAchievement, status, responsibility, reputationBelongingness and Love needsFamily, affection, relationships, work group etc.Emotional Safety needsProtection, security, order, law, limits, stability etc.Biological and Physiological needsBasic life needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep etc.Basic to complex

Self-actualisationAdult available to meet children’s wellbeing needs effectively whilst maintaining their ownEsteem needsAchievement of High Quality Teaching, professional development, acknowledge yourself, acknowledgement from others, time to reflect, non-judgemental peers, develop resilience, encouragement to take positive safe risks, positive school ethos, autonomy.Belongingness and Love needsFeel you are part of a team/school community, develop and maintain positive relationships with colleagues, feel valued and that your contribution matters, feel respected, feel nurtured, social opportunities with peers and team buildingEmotional Safety needsClear expectations of your role, procedures for dealing with any issues which may arise, e.g. conflict resolution, stability in your job, feel safe to express yourself emotionally, know where to go to get help, school structureBiological and Physiological needsEat regularly, get enough sleep, eat breakfast, have brain breaks and toilet breaks, keep temperature at a suitable levelStaff Hierarchy of Needs

5 ways to wellbeing - NHS

• Brain development and model of the brain• Mental Health Model• Childhood TraumaSource: Beacon HouseElement 3Brain development, mental health and childhood trauma

Brain Building (NSPCC)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMyDFYSkZSU4 minutesVideo

LimbicBrain stemCorticalTo begin our understandingThe brain stem first appeared in fish, nearly 500 million years ago. It continued to develop in amphibians and reached its most advanced stage in reptiles, roughly 250 million years ago.The limbic system first appeared in small mammals, about 150 million years agoThe cortical brain began its spectacular expansion in primates, scarcely 2 or 3 million years ago, as the genus Homo emerged.

Internal Factors (nature)Genetic and biological developmentalExternal Factors (nurture)People,Relationships,Connections,Environment and cultureAs a child grows up there are a number of factors that influence the development of their brains- broadly categorised as internal and external factors. The way in which influencing factors act is obviously complex and not independent of each other and often act togetherMajor influences on a developing child

Sturdy or fragile? Brains aren’t just born, they’re built as well

The early years matter.....• Children begin to learn language and literacy even before they speak their first words• By the age of 3, 50% of our language is in place and, by 5, its 85%• By the age of 4, a child’s brain is 90% of its adult size

Downstairs brainSurvival brainMature at about 25 years oldEmotional and reactive thinking stylesUpstairs and Downstairs BrainUpstairs brainThinking brain

Video4mins 30secshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O1u5OEc5eY&feature=emb_logoAdolescent brain

Behaviour organisation – typical developmentlogical brainemotional and relational brainsurvival brainGeddes 2012

Behaviour organisation – over-stressedlogical brainemotional and relational brainsurvival brain (overactive stress response)Geddes 2012

KnowledgeWhat did you learn from the session? How does this link to things you were already aware of or thinking about?AttitudesWhat are your thoughts and feelings about using this knowledge at work? How have your values, mindset and beliefs changed?How will this impact on relationships?SkillsWhat tools will you use at work? What new things can you try out? Do you need any equipment, items or training to use these new skills?HabitsWhat will you do differently following this session?How will you shift from this being something you try to something you do consistently and as part of your usual routines and habits?Shifting to Trauma Perceptive Practice – Your KASH ReflectionsUsing the KASH framework from the work of David Herdlinger

Recommended Further Learning• ACEs certificate https://www.acesonlinelearning.com/• A breakdown of the different aspects of wellness and suggestions for incorporating each: Wellness: A Guide for Teachers• Dr Bruce Perry Early Brain Development - Reducing the Effects of Trauma: https://eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DM6kDeBaJi0M&data=02%7C01%7C%7Ceb48e9ce52924d7dc02c08d842c29135%7Ca8b4324f155c4215a0f17ed8cc9a992f%7C0%7C0%7C637332750713911688&sdata=n6jSMs1T7IWZ%2BX82PEzbLjsXojlHmubPT5MUAB%2Frfl8%3D&reserved=045

Useful LinksEmergency • 999 & A&E• Samaritans 116 123• NSCPP Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111Support Services • NHS Wellbeing Self-assessment tool: http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Wellbeing-self-assessment.aspx• Teacher Support: http://www.teachersupport.info/get-support/phone (Phone, email)• Young Minds: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/• Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/• NHS https://111.nhs.uk/ call: 111 • Family Lives: http://www.familylives.org.uk/ Call: 0808 800 2222• NSPCC: Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111 https://www.nspcc.org.uk• Samaritans – Call: 116 123 https://www.samaritans.org46

Questions & Discussion

Building Healthy Futures-developing adult understanding and capability to improve child outcomesTrauma Perceptive Practice (TPP)The Essex Approach to Understanding Behaviour and Supporting Emotional WellbeingAn Introduction for Community Partners“People not programmes change people” Bruce PerryThis can be an emotional topic which may affect any of us here in many different ways. Be mindful and sensitive towards yourself and each other.

Day 2 Agenda & ObjectivesAgenda:• Attachment• Understanding behaviour – the stress response• Relationships matter49

KnowledgeWhat did you learn from the session? How did this link to things you were already aware of or thinking about?AttitudesWhat were your thoughts and feelings about using this knowledge at work? How have your values, mindset and beliefs changed?How has this impacted on relationships?SkillsWhat tools did you use at work? What new things did you try out? Did you need any equipment, items or training to use these new skills?HabitsWhat did you do differently following this session?How did you shift from this being something you try to something you do consistently and as part of your usual routines and habits?Shifting to Trauma Perceptive Practice – Your KASH ReflectionsUsing the KASH framework from the work of David Herdlinger

• Choice Theory• How wellbeing starts and develops• The power of connection and the earliest relationshipsThese can be an emotional topics which may affect any of us herein many different ways. Be mindful and sensitive towards yourself and each other. Element 4Attachment

Human Needs and the Importance of RelationshipsChoice Theory: Glasser (1989)“If you get up in the morning and feel miserable, you can be sure that one or more of the five basic needs is not satisfied to the extent you would like to satisfy that need or needs”Survival, Love and Belonging, Power, Freedom, FunThese needs are met through quality relationships

 Belonging Being loved Being respected Friendship Sharing Co-operation Recognition Success Importance Achievement Skills Enjoyment Laughter Learning Change Health Relaxation Sexual activity Food Warmth Choices Independence Freedom from Freedom toSource: adapted from pinterest

William Glasser’s 5 main human needs:(The coffee cups)Love & Belonging PowerFun SurvivalFreedomBehaviour is driven by these needs – we get these needs met via social relationships and connections we have with others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs includes the same areas / is complimentary If we do not get our needs met sufficiently through quality relationships, we will not feel ok and are likely to behave in other ways to try to get these needs met …..

Needs-Led BehavioursChild/Young person has underlying need- e.g. for affection, belonging, attachment, safety, to understand what has happened, for control, etc CYP’s need met CYP’s need not metCYP seeks alternative way to get needs metPositive outcomee.g. needs satiated, positive interaction, reinforcement of attachment / relationships Less Helpful alternativee.g. meeting need via aggressive, sexual problem, attention needing, risky or self-harming behavioursHelpful alternativee.g. meeting need in safe ways via behaviour approved by adults / peersNegative Outcomee.g. problem behaviour, frustrated interactions, negative relationships

Who / what in life helps me meet this need?What gets in the way / stops me meeting this need?Ideas to try and meet this need more:Parents, Friends, Extended member of the familyFalling out with friends, Being busyArrange to meet up with my friends, sharing hobbiesBeing able to make my own choices, Being told what to do, Asking questions & agreeing boundariesActivities HobbiesHolidaysNo money, No time, Having to go to school/workFind free activities & places to go with friends HouseFoodMoneySleep Lack of sleep, anxiety, Poor dietExercise, One healthy meal a day, relaxationMeeting my friends in town, Lack of transport Ride my bike to school/work or get public transport Consider:

Relationships

The dances of attunement that a caregiver has with their child are the very beginnings of emotional regulation…

Consider:- Why might some parents/carers be unable to tune into, feel with, or respond to their child?- What things can fill up an adult’s mind so that their child’s needs are not easily noticed or fulfilled?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2ypDPqs9A0Attachment

The GOOD, the BAD and the UGLYGoodBadUglyRepair & Recovery = Regulation & Resilience- It’s ok to not be ok, it gets better - Disappointments/fall outs manageable and bearable; graduated experiences of stress - “Good Enough” care- Secure attachment experiencesBeing stuck in the bad becomes ugly, without repair or recovery. Young people get stuck in a Flight or Flight state, an ugly situation. - It’s unsafe to not be ok- Disappointments are a threat - Insecure attachment experiencesAttunement may not always occur, but adult continues a connection to child and communicates hope and promotes safety No repair or restore occursRepair & RecoverAvoid

Understanding Attachment Theory• helps make sense of the sense of confusion • protects the adult from taking the communicating behaviours personally • informs engagement expectations • informs interventions and support strategies • promotes a less reactive and more reflective response

• The Stress (“Safety”) Response System• How the brain responds to perceived stress or threat: the stress response system• Introducing the window of tolerance:Element 5Understanding behaviour

Understanding behaviourConsider:What is the main purpose of behaviour?

Stress is a biological and psychological response experienced on encountering a threat that we feel we do not have the resources to deal with.What is Stress?

Not all stress is badstressunpredictablesevereprolongedvulnerabilitypredictablemoderatecontrolledresiliencePositive- brief increases in heart rate and mild elevations of hormones Tolerable- temporary increases in hormones but buffered by the protection of relationshipsToxic- prolonged activation of the stress response system in the absence of the protective relationships

How we interpret affects how webehave.This interpretation affects our language.How we talk about the child shapes how we see the child.Our behaviour and language has an effect on the childHow we see the child shapes how the child sees themselves.Interpreting behaviour

How do we typically respond when people make mistakes?Sort the words and statements into the typical responses when:• learning• behavingManipulativeInevitable DeliberateNeed modified teachingAccidentalThese children need punishmentShould not happenSignal the need for teachingMisconceptionsShould be isolatedConsider:

Typically our attitudes might bewith behaviourInevitableNeed modified teachingAccidentalSignal the need for teachingMisconceptionsManipulativeDeliberateThese children need punishmentShould be isolatedShould not happenwith learning

Stress Response-the FscalmengagedalertalarmfearConnected/ social modeFriendFlight FightEven in fight or flight, at some level we believe we can still survive whatever threat or stressor we think is dangerous.low moodFlopStressDistressFreezeFlock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcm-1FBrDvU7 minutesVideo

Element 6Relationships matter• The key adult-key child relationship• Connecting with the emotional experience of the child using the PACE Model• Shame

Anchor: secure baseBoat: individualWaves: experiences

Typical socialisation processConnection and belonginglimit settingand feeling safeco-regulation of the stress response and repairA representation of typical socialisation process (Adapted from the work of Nicola Marshall (2014))

Disrupted/ impaired socialisation processno/weak connection and belongingrejection/angerPoor co-regulation and no or delayed interactive repairexcessive blame/shameA representation of a disrupted and impaired socialisation process(Adapted from the work of Nicola Marshall (2014))

Consider: How do adults act as role models in your workplace?“Children seldom misquote you. They usually repeat word-for-word what you should not have said.” ~ Unknown

Do these Avoid these 78ThreateningComplainingListenLet them know you heardEncourage CriticismKeep calmIdentify boundariesOffer feedbackBlamingPunishingRewarding to controlConsider: Decide which goes where

Do these Avoid these 79ListenLet them know you heardEncourage Keep calmIdentify boundariesOffer feedbackThreateningComplainingCriticismBlamingPunishingRewarding to controlConsider: Decide which goes where

TrustConsistencySensitive ResponseAcceptanceEngagementAvailabilityCore aims of the adult-child relationship

PlayfulnessAcceptanceCuriosityEmpathyConnect with the emotional experience of the child using the PACE modelFrom the work of Dan Hughes

PACE How to be playfulLetLet the child lead when being curious to safely exploreLaughLaugh togetherMakeMake time to play together actively StartStart to sing a silly song or tell a joke.Distract or breakDistract or break an intense or stressful situationUseUse humour or ‘silliness’

Affirmation • I’m not going anywhere• You matter• It feels like you are trying to push me awayWelcome • We miss you• You belong • This is your spaceBelief • It sounds as if………• I’m wondering whether……• Tell me……..Acknowledgement• You have shown such courage sharing that• How you experience things matters to me• Thanks for letting me knowPACE Acceptance

Adopt an attitude of not knowingTentative wondering / wondering aloudSearching for alternative stories about events, conversations and actions.Curiosity

Empathy

Difference between shame and guiltBrene Brown2mins 12 secshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqGFrId-IQgVideo

• Shame is a complex emotion that develops later than the development of more straightforward feelings or emotions such as anger, joy or sadness. • Shame is uncomfortable for children who learn to limit shame-inducing behaviours. • Guilt is protective, it helps children to learn socially acceptable behaviour and thus to be able to develop relationships. Understanding and Managing Shame

Ian Wright and Mr Pigdonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYNWGI6JvnI2mins 26secsVideos

KnowledgeWhat did you learn from the session? How does this link to things you were already aware of or thinking about?AttitudesWhat are your thoughts and feelings about using this knowledge at work? How have your values, mindset and beliefs changed?How will this impact on relationships?SkillsWhat tools will you use at work? What new things can you try out? Do you need any equipment, items or training to use these new skills?HabitsWhat will you do differently following this session?How will you shift from this being something you try to something you do consistently and as part of your usual routines and habits?Shifting to Trauma Perceptive Practice – Your KASH ReflectionsUsing the KASH framework from the work of David Herdlinger

Recommended Further Learning• Dad co-regulating/attachment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqAUMsqiFxI&feature=emb_logo• Still face experiment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btg9PiT0sZg&feature=emb_logo• The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOowWxOXCg&t=71s• Ted Talk – How Stress Affects your Brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuyPuH9ojCE• The Fight Flight Freeze Response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEHwB1PG_-Q90

Useful LinksEmergency • 999 & A&E• Samaritans 116 123• NSCPP Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111Support Services • NHS Wellbeing Self-assessment tool: http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Wellbeing-self-assessment.aspx• Teacher Support: http://www.teachersupport.info/get-support/phone (Phone, email)• Young Minds: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/• Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/• NHS https://111.nhs.uk/ call: 111 • Family Lives: http://www.familylives.org.uk/ Call: 0808 800 2222• NSPCC: Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111 https://www.nspcc.org.uk• Samaritans – Call: 116 123 https://www.samaritans.org91

Questions & Discussion

Building Healthy Futures-developing adult understanding and capability to improve child outcomesTrauma Perceptive Practice (TPP)The Essex Approach to Understanding Behaviour and Supporting Emotional WellbeingAn Introduction for Community Partners“People not programmes change people” Bruce PerryThis can be an emotional topic which may affect any of us here in many different ways. Be mindful and sensitive towards yourself and each other.

Day 3 Agenda & ObjectivesAgenda:• Co-regulation of stress and distress• Self-regulation• Resilience94

KnowledgeWhat did you learn from the session? How did this link to things you were already aware of or thinking about?AttitudesWhat were your thoughts and feelings about using this knowledge at work? How have your values, mindset and beliefs changed?How has this impacted on relationships?SkillsWhat tools did you use at work? What new things did you try out? Did you need any equipment, items or training to use these new skills?HabitsWhat did you do differently following this session?How did you shift from this being something you try to something you do consistently and as part of your usual routines and habits?Shifting to Trauma Perceptive Practice – Your KASH ReflectionsUsing the KASH framework from the work of David Herdlinger

• Stress• Repair and restore• DistressSource: www.beaconhouse.org.ukElement 7Co-regulation of Stress and Distress

Regulation: Our “Emotional Pot”Window of Tolerance

Self-Regulation: Our “Emotional Pot”

Distress: Our “Emotional Pot”

What fills up young people’s emotional pots?Transitions –moving from different spaces, staff, expectationsGetting on with people who may not respond as expected Remember that young people may be on the brink of fight or flight continually Being in a restricted space with many othersTrusting and following the lead of an adultKnowing how to repair relationships when they go wrongBeing expected to organise themselves

Co-regulation is needed to develop into self-regulationThe Key Adult role is often central to co-regulation

Be aware; be one’s BESTCo-regulating body language• Body postureB• Eye contactE• SpeechS• Tone of voiceT

CommunicationConsider: How much of our communication is based on the following? -Verbal (the words used)-Tone (of voice)-Non-verbal

Body language 55%Vocal tone 38%Words 7%Your communication Mehrabian’s communication model

Video – 3 minuteshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369JwEmpathy and Sympathy

“It seems that you may have……….(hurt yourself, shouted at the teacher, kicked the table, hurt your friend) because……… you may have felt/ you may be feeling(wobbly, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, jealous....)”“It is okay to feel……. (angry, frightened, stressed about, disappointed) we just need to keep you safe.”“I wonder if you are feeling………….(wobbly, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, jealous....) because I notice…”“When you are ready I will be here to listen and to think about it with you.”Scripted everyday interaction

• Self-regulation and teaching self-regulation• Shanker’s model• SensationsElement 8Self-regulation

Self-regulationAbility to adjustSocially awarePersonalisedRequired to manage stressWhat is self-regulation?

Self-regulation refers to how people manage stress, how much energy we expend and how well we recover. Effective self-regulation enhances growth, learning and emotional, social and physical well-being. Children learn to self-regulate through being co-regulated. The importance of self-regulation

Many children arrive at your service having not yet developed self-regulatory skills. This may be presented through a range of ways including: • Impulsivity • Grabbing• Lashing out • Crying • Difficulties with planning before starting a task• Inability to monitor their progress • Not having the resilience and strategic procedures to succeed with difficult tasks Why is self-regulation important for children?

We can become Stress Detectives with children and families to explore what stressors are filling up their emotional potwhilst also being self-aware of our own domains.

© Essex County CouncilHow to teach children to self-regulateBuild relationshipsCreate safetyTeachPractiseApply strategies

SensationsSource: Beacon House

Consider: Words to describe different physical bodily sensations…

 Cold/warm/hot/chilly Twitchy/butterflies Sharp/dull/itchy Shaky/trembly/tingly Hard/soft/stuck Jittery/icy/weak Relaxed/calm/peaceful Empty/Full Wobbly/topsy-turvy  Flowing/spreading Strong/tight/tense Dizzy/fuzzy/blurry Numb/prickly/jumpy Owie/tearful/goose-bumpy Light/heavy/open Tickly/cool/silky Still/clammy/looseSensation VocabularyConsider:

Teaching feelings Naming feelings and sensationsDistressed FrustratedAngry TenseAnnoyedAlarmedAfraidAstonished AmusedHappyExcitedDelightedGladPleasedContentAt ease Calm RelaxedSleepySatisfiedSereneTiredMiserableSadDepressed GloomyBoredDroopyIntenseUnpleasantPleasantMild

3 types of self-regulation strategies

Just Breathe – 3m 41shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVA2N6tX2cgVideo

• What is resilience? Risk and protective factors for vulnerability and resilience • Helpful Habits• Understanding and Managing Mishaps; the use of restorative approaches and consequencesElement 9Building resilience

‘the ability to weather adversity or to bounce back from a negative experience’. Sandra Prince-EmburyResilience is:

Young people’s definitions of resilienceStaying strong, keeping going, and not giving up in the face of difficulty, so that you can reach your goals. Being able to control your emotions or your mind-set. Having the capacity to deal with problems.

A key element of building resilience is learning how to manage and respond to experiences that present us with stress and feeling distress Resilience, Stress and Distress

Can be thought of on three levels:Risk Factors and Protective FactorsIndividual Family Community

Risk factors: Protective factors:IndividualFamily CommunityIndividualFamily CommunityConsider:• What might the risk and protective factors be for children in your school/setting?• How significant are these for their resilience?

INDIVIDUAL RISK FACTORS:Feelings of shame, guilt, loss, fearLoneliness, feeling out of control Communication skills, low self esteem, SEND, Identity (LGBT), traumaMedical issues (asthma, acne, ADHD)FAMILY RISK FACTORS: (RELATIONSHIPS)Separation and family breakdownParents with mental health difficultiesPoverty, Domestic Violence, Trauma COMMUNITY RISK FACTORS:Bullying, academic pressure, relationship break down, Lack of connectedness within community, the media (social media)Drug and Alcohol, gangs and violence Summary of Some Risk and Protective Factors for ResilienceINDIVIDUAL PROTECTIVE FACTORS:High self esteem, Good coping and problem solving skills, Outgoing personality, good academic skills, FAMILY PROTECTIVE FACTORS:(RELATIONSHIPS)Supportive family relationships, adults who can support emotional regulation, role models for children, access to social support, supportive of educationCOMMUNITY PROTECTIVE FACTORS: Stable and supportive peer group Connections within wider community (clubs, groups, family network)Access to supportive services Making a valuable contribution

Language of Resilience: • “I have…”- trusting, loving relationships/ role models/ boundaries/ safety and support • “I am…”- loveable/ empathic/ proud of myself/ responsible/ respectful/ sure that things will be ok• “I can…”- communicate/ talk to others/ problem solve/ manage my feelings/ seek trusting relationships/ take a risk Edith Grotberg (1995)/ Lyn Worsley

1. Smile2. Say sorry3. Be kind to others4. Talk about feelings5. Ask for help6. Show good manners7. Learn to share 7 Habits for Daily LivingFrom the work of Professor Steve Peters

7 habits I have I am I can1. SmilingFriends/ relationshipsFriendly Smile2. Saying sorry AwarenessUnderstanding/ awareSay sorry3. Being kindFriends/ relationshipsKind/ glad to do things for othersBe kind4. Talking about feelingsFeelingsAware of my feelingsTalk about feelings5. Asking for help Things I cannot do Not alone Ask for help6. Showing good mannersAwareness Polite Be polite7. Learning to shareAn awareness of others’ needsKind ShareHow the habits fit with the language of resilience

 We feel safe and we are treated with respect There is encouragement to try, and positive feedback on efforts Mistakes are not ridiculed but framed as natural parts of learning We feel liked and valued and that someone who matters approves of our effortsIn an environment that develops resilience…

To punish or to restore?Punitive Restorative What happened? What happened?Who’s to blame? Who’s being harmed and in what way?How should we punish them? What needs to happen in order to put things right and ensure this never happens again?

Unhelpful PositivityValidation and HopeYou’ll get over it This is difficult. You’ve done things before and I believe in you.Just be positive I know there’s a lot that could go wrong. What could go right?Stop being so negativeIt’s normal to be negative in this situation.Never give up Sometimes giving up is ok – what is your ideal outcome?Just be happy It’s never fun to feel like that. Is there something we can do that will help?

Can we all be a Mr. Jensen?Video 3 minuteshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p5286T_kn0What is optimism?

KnowledgeWhat did you learn from the session? How does this link to things you were already aware of or thinking about?AttitudesWhat are your thoughts and feelings about using this knowledge at work? How have your values, mindset and beliefs changed?How will this impact on relationships?SkillsWhat tools will you use at work? What new things can you try out? Do you need any equipment, items or training to use these new skills?HabitsWhat will you do differently following this session?How will you shift from this being something you try to something you do consistently and as part of your usual routines and habits?Shifting to Trauma Perceptive Practice – Your KASH ReflectionsUsing the KASH framework from the work of David Herdlinger

Recommended Further Learning• Positive Young Minds – 10 De-escalation Techniques with Social Distancing in Mind: https://positiveyoungmind.com/10-de-escalation-techniques-with-social-distancing-in-mind/• Demonstrating Self-regulation with Tone of Voice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCv0G4JEuJY• 5 domains of self-regulation: http://self-reg.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Infosheet_5_Domains_of_Self-Reg.pdf• Resilience in Kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYsRGe0tfZc135

Useful LinksEmergency • Samaritans 116 123• NSCPP Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111• Family Lives - free parent helpline 0808 800 2222 – Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm, weekends 10am to 3pm• Young Minds free - parent helpline – 0808 802 5544 from 9:30am - 4pm, Mon – Fri• Find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline (24 hour advice and support) https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline• 999 & A&E (If it’s a life threatening situations)Support Services • NHS Wellbeing Self-assessment tool: http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Wellbeing-self-assessment.aspx• Teacher Support: http://www.teachersupport.info/get-support/phone (Phone, email)• Young Minds: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/• Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/• NHS https://111.nhs.uk/ call: 111 • Family Lives: http://www.familylives.org.uk/ Call: 0808 800 2222• NSPCC: Adult helpline: 0808 800 5000, Under 18: 0800 1111 https://www.nspcc.org.uk• Samaritans – Call: 116 123 https://www.samaritans.org136

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