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A Timeline of My Life


I was born in a boring little town by the name of Sherman Texas and anyone that's ever gone there before, knows what I mean when I say.. it sucks. My mom and dad met at a local grocery store and decided they liked eachother enough to have sex, then there I was nine months later. Shortly after being conceived, mom and dad found out..they didn't really like eachother at all, so they got divorced. I grew up with my mom during the week and my dad on the weekends. Even though my parents didn't work out together, I knew they loved me all the same.

Where it all started...

Not even alive yet-10

When I was a about 3 I used to eat Lunchables like they were going out of style, and I had two toy dinosaurs that would accompany me while I did it. At first I would tell them to stop being so needy and asking fo my pizzas, then I would finally give in and share with them.  

At 10 I moved from Sherman to a new place called Allen Texas, which is what I now consider as home. I met my best friends in elementary school there, and we have been best friends ever since. Probably because none of us are great at making new friends. And we make politically incorrect jokes all the time.  

*Trust vs. Mistrust* (birth-18months)

*Autonomy vs. Shame and doubt*(2-3)

*Initiative vs. Guilt*(3-5)

*Industry vs. Role Confusion*(6-11)

Growing up I was a big tom boy, I acted like one of the guys and I always wanted to make people laugh. In 5th grade I wore a Texas Longhorn sweatshirt every day and walked around asking everyone if they knew who ACDC was, because I did, and I thought that was the coolest thing. I was known for having the bushiest eyebrows, so I didn't really fit in. Good thing I had a supportive nana who told me my brows looked like Brooke Shields, even though we both knew she was lying. 


Then high school came around and I ditched the bushy brows and started becoming a lot more feminine and acquired a love for music from listening to my mom and dad's old cds growing up.


"Well this is awkward" 10-20

Industry vs. Role Confusion

Well this is even more awkward 20-30

Intimacy vs. Isolation 

20-22 Has been the greatest and most awful years of my life. I got my first real job, left home with my two best friends, fell in love HARD, got my heart broken even harder. Started college, failed miserably at college. Got back in the game with college. Left my hometown and moved here to Houston, to start over and fall in love with my life again. It has been a crazy adventure.


After this year I hope to attend the University of Houston and eventually get my Masters degree in counseling, but will probably change my mind again for the millionth time between now and then. 


By the time I'm 30 I will have completed college and will have landed a really sick job where I get to walk around helping people with their problems all day. 


Maybe if I'm lucky, Jake Gyllenhaal will have finally fallen in love with me and we are on our way to getting married and starting a family. If not him, then maybe one of my Tinder matches will have been a success. 

30-40 Golden Years

Intimacy vs. Isolation

By this time I will have a family and a career I am excited about going to every day. I'll feel warmth in my heart as I watch my kids run around in the garden and laugh when they almost kill eachother, but won't tell anyone that because then they will think I am a horrible person.


If that doesn't work out, then I'll be traveling all over the world getting really fat trying all different foods. 

40-60 Old as heck but still cool as heck

By now my kids will be in college and I will be an emotional wreck. I'll own a house with lots of land and drink coffee while sitting outside on the porch, reflecting over my life's greatest moments, hoping that any moment my husband doesn't interrupt me to talk about football. 

60-70 Okay now I'm old and happy

Ego Intergrity vs. Despair

 I run a chihuahua sanctuary and drink boxes of wine when people aren't looking. I've retired now and my kids are excited to come home and see me and my husband. 


I'm like honey badger.. I don't give a s***.

Ego Integrity vs. Despair

I'll have grandchildren and I will love them endlessly and I will tell them all the things I have learned over the course of my life and I will be proud of my children and my life. 

70-80 Chillin'

Ego Intergrity vs. Despair 

80-90 Really Chillin'


I have accepted that my time is very limited, but I look back and realize I had a very full life. It was full of lots of love, laughter, and even pain, but it was never boring.

To my family;

 I would formally like to say sorry I'm dead, but I bet I'm even more upset about it than you are. If it's my kids who read this first, I just want you to know you were loved deeply and you will be loved for eternity. You are my legacy and my greatest joy and I will continue to live through you. I hope that you remember me as the woman who wasn't afraid of a challenge. A person who rose above all adversities and greeted them with a smile. I was given the chance to love, and I loved deeply. And to my husband and best friend if you're reading this, I still love you more.

I was able to travel the world and experience life and its greatest pleasures. Although, all of those places were beautiful, they could never compare to sitting in my garden with all of my wonderful children and grandchildren around me. I know in my heart that you take life gracefully and enthusiastically. I know there will be hard times ahead, but remember, there's even better ones after that. In the times that it seems unbearable, remember I am with you, use the memory you have of me to guide you through. I love you all and I will miss you.





Ps. Please feed the cat

PPs. Don't wear Sperry's to my funeral, I'll be pissed