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Creative Writing Portfolio By Caleb Liermann

How It Started & Where It’s Going When making my schedule for school this semester I needed an elective class. Knowing I had the hardest session of school so far in my career ahead of me I decided I’d take this one as an outlet. I enjoyed my intro to creative writing class and thought this would be an easy A as well as a way to break free from the stress of chemistry and physics. I was surprised to actually learn how much goes into writing. Where once I had respect for the authors of my favorite stories and poems, I now have admiration and am stunned at the complexity of their trade. I have done some minimal writing before the class, which was just for me and I went into this class doing the same thing. I used the prompts and information to simply write for me. A lot of the time it was hard to write based off of prompts and rules, but it was a learning experience. I now understand that if I were to ever try to write for an audience, I would need a lot more focus and patience. Over the course of the class, I have learned that though I enjoy writing I’m probably not cut out for it; at least in the publishing sense. However, I don’t think I will ever stop writing for me. With all that goes on in my life and the craziness of it, writing is an escape. At the end of the day what I write and the stories that unfold are a creative way for me to let go of some of the weight on my shoulders. To reflect on my situation and the hand life as dealt me. The prompts throughout the many writing assignments this semester though difficult led me to creating some enjoyable works for me if not for anyone else. This portfolio contains the works I found to be the most pleasing to me in their completion. I hope that anyone who reads them can find at least some enjoyment or maybe some insight. A reflective insight at how “you” feel and how “you” think in the same ways these works have given me insight in how “I” think and feel.

Works Dialog With a Mirror My Kansas What Every Cross-Country Runner Should Know Apology Ball Game Water My I AM CALEB

Dialog with a Mirror Me: I write poetry sometimes. You: Why? Most of them aren’t good but its less about good. They are dumb, pointless, dark. Me: I know but they are for me. A creative outlet. You: That’s nice but not a single one but a few are based off of things you have actually experienced. They are all just wishful thinking and emotions you see played out by others. Me: They are still helpful to write. You: There just pieces and parts to songs you thought up or fake scenarios you made up in your head. Pointless. Me: Regardless I enjoy writing them, and what does it matter if they aren’t good? I’m writing for me and if I enjoy them then that’s all that matters. You: Don’t you see that they aren’t JUST for you anymore? You’re in a class where people will see and judge and criticize. Me: Even so I will write for me and maybe learn a thing or two along the way. You: A waste of time and energy for some need to be creative. Me: Everything you have said is correct and yet this is the same outlet

My Kansas Here, in my Kansas, the sun rise is a slow transition from blood red and darkest orange, to brilliant gold and blinding pinks, and slowly those turn to blue. Some days, wispy high up clouds drift see-through thin, others are full of shifty cotton balls, twisting into dragons, cars, or more imaginative things. Here, in my Kansas thunderstorms can shake the ground and rattle houses, bringing with it stunning lightning that spiderwebs across the sky. Turning night bright as day, The falling rain lulling my Kansas to restful sleep, waking up to the sweet cool smell of rain which persists well into the morning. With some searching you can find soft dirt roads that boarder on endless for runners’ feet to fall, Friendly dogs and mean ones too, along the edge. Here, in my Kansas fields of open grass span between towns, fertile farmland producing at fever pitch. In summer, golden wheat as far as the eye can see, in cooler months stalks of corn or rows of beans. Here, in my Kansas fresh bread is the desired snack, sweet aroma making the mouth water before ingestion. Each bite soft and warm, melted butter atop makes them shine, worth their weight in gold. The radio seems to play more commercials than music, but you can always find something to listen to. The road into town crossing over the lazy river. Here in my Kansas children run wild throughout the streets, the pool rats scurry from Brahms to the skate park and down Summit. Here, in my Kansas people say my towns name not like that other state Arkansas, but like “Ark Kansas” almost “Are Kansas”, “Our Kansas”. Here, in my Kansas, the sun sets slowly fading from peaceful baby blue to shades of golden yellow; darkening pinks and reds finally growing into purple. Ending with a black sky studded with stars.

What Ever Cross Country Runner Should Know Most sports you play are consider at the end of the day games. You do not play running, you simply run. Race or practice you will run in sweltering heat, blistering cold, and all manner of conditions. Love adversity and make it your strength. You have a team and together you can be great, but you must win as an individual to win as a team. No one can run your race and one person, one step can be the difference between failure and success. Winning your race is very simple; do your best and then try harder. In this sport there is no stopping until you cross the finish line. Your lungs will burn and your heart will pound. Your mouth dry like sand and sweat pouring. Physically your leg, back, shoulder, and arm muscles will strain and scream. Your body like lead and you will continue for miles. As you run you must stay focused and mentally aware. Talk yourself through the course and the pain. You are the only one who can stop you and this reason alone is why it is not for the weak willed. You will see bodies laying on the edges of the course; some crying, others seemingly lifeless and you will not become them. Hunting and not hunted; a predator out pacing its prey. No matter the pain, no matter the fatigue, you must always finish hard. No matter how fast you run and how much you hurt there is always something left. At the end run faster straining your body willing it to move only slowing a step after the finish. To stop at the finish is to lose time so you must carry through or risk losing the race, your race.

Apology I’m sorry for that time I looked at you a moment too long. It was at my first big party, and I only knew a few people. Then you walked by, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Shinning blue eyes and blond hair just shy of being white sitting just above your shoulders. You walked past me, and my breath got caught inside my throat. You turned your head as you went by, and I held your gaze because I couldn’t look away. Later that night, you found me out in the yard, a few drinks in but sober enough to feel all the nerves: So why did you stare at me earlier? I choked on my drink, and red burned my face. I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I couldn’t help but stare. Now we’re married with a kid on the way, and I’m sorry for so many things. I’m sorry for stepping on your feet at the homecoming dance; I’m sorry for turning your laundry pink; I’m sorry for spilling your dad’s drink on your birthday, and I’m sorry I dodged the wedding cake you threw at my face. I’m sorry the house we bought wasn’t next to a school, and I’m sorry that you love me so much you don’t care that I’m ill; I’m sorry I’m sick and I don’t have long and I’m sorry I looked at you a moment too long.

Ball Game The bell finally rang and when it finished came the thundering of a hundred plus eager students crashing out into the hall. It was the Friday before a four-day weekend for some school in service or irrelevant holiday. The reason didn’t matter, what mattered was the movies. More specifically who was going to be at the movies. I quickly made my way out of the building towards the parking lot. “Hey dude, we’re still on for tonight, right?” boomed a voice in my ear. It was unmistakably Hanks. I turned to see the hulking body of my jock friend towering above me. “We better be this weekend is the last showing.” Hank smiled his perfect toothy grin. “Man, each of us has a hot date and the movies is the best place to put on the moves”. I couldn’t help but smile at his confidence. Hank The Tank was understandably overconfident when it came to women. Ironically his longest relationship was a week and a day. “We don’t have dates there are just girls that are going.” The thought of this being a date ran past my mind and my stomach tightened. “And John told me that some of the girls were thinking of backing out.” Hank just shook his head as we walked down the sidewalk. “You’re joking, right? He said flatly but with a hint of hope in his eyes. I stepped in front of him, “You, Me, and John have been planning this for like what, three weeks? We rescheduled twice; they can’t back out. With your looks and smooth talking you can convince them to come.” Hanks muscles bulged under his shirt as he flexed his arms. His mouth curved up at the compliment.

“I guess I could go use a little of my charismaticyness but you’re coming with.” With that comment I looked where he was staring, straight over the top of my head. Two of the girls that were going to the movie were putting their bags in the back seat of a blue sporty looking car. Hank strode of with his giant strides closing the distance to the girls with incredible speed. I hurried along behind him adjusting my bag. They saw us coming or more accurately they saw Hank. When we reached the girls, their faces changed the slightest bit red. Hank gave them his brilliant smile raising an eyebrow and with a joking tone said, “So, my main man Carter tells me, that John told him, that you guys are backing out?” They shared a panicked glance as their faces got a shade brighter. The blond tried to match Hanks carefree tone but fell short, “Well, it’s just that we weren’t… sure if you guys still wanted to go.” The brunette on the driver’s side jumped in, “Yeah, we didn’t know if we were still on but like if you still want to go will totally go.” Hank seemed satisfied and turned to me with an approving smile. Now it was my turn to change a shade of red. It was a nice day, but I could feel the sweat starting to form on my brow and in my armpits. “Well do you guys know if…” I trailed off trying to complete the sentence without sounding desperate. “If Ashley is still going?” The girls just looked at me for a second as if they were just realizing I was there which in all honesty they probably were.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s still down.” The blond said with a smile so forced and fake it almost hurt. I couldn’t blame them for not caring about so 5.9 average looking dude when he was standing beside Captain America. “Well, I guess will see you tonight at 7.” Said the Brunette as she got behind the wheel. We walked away as they drove off and Hank smacked me on the back, “Don’t worry she’ll be there.” He didn’t seem to have a doubt in his mind, but I wasn’t very optimistic. I left him at his car and got in mine driving home with the radio off thinking about what Hank said about it being a “date”. I got home and changed into something a little nicer than what I would normally wear to a night out with friends. A collared shirt with a white t-shirt underneath. Coupled with my nice jeans as well as my black vans. My mom arrived home and seemed rushed for some reason. It was about 5:30 and she asked me, “Why are you getting all dressed up you’re just going to get dirty.” “What do you mean I’m going to get dirty? It’s a movie theater.” She looked at me with her annoyed mom stare, “What are you talking about? Your brother has a baseball game tonight.” I felt a bit of me die. “He has a game! I was never told about him having a game mom.” I couldn’t believe she was springing this on me. “I told you last week right before you went off to the movies.” I tightened my jaw,

“You mean last week when I didn’t go to the movies because we had to reschedule for this week.” She gave me an exasperated sigh, “Well, that’s not my fault, you’re going to support your brother.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Are you being serious, I’ve been trying to do this for a month. Hank and John are going as so are some girls.” At the mention of girls my mom’s expression shifted from annoyance to interest, an even more dangerous position to be in. “It was my idea so it’s going to look bad if I’m not there.” My mom contemplated my crisis for a moment and went about grabbing things for my brother’s game. “Well… can I go?” I dared to ask. She turned and said with a stern voice that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “You can go but you have to go to the game until right before the movie and don’t lie to me I know it’s the 7 a clock showing.” I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I could still go, now I just had to stay clean and not be late. The game started about 6 which meant I had an hour before the movie’s previews started. My brother Greg was first to bat on his team. He took a few practice swings and got into his stance. Knees slightly bent arms back and ready. He was only 8 so they still used a pitching machine. The first ball came flying out and with the unmistakable ting of metal on ball it went flying into left field. He ran as fast as he could and slid onto third. “Let’s go!” I cheered to both my own, and my mom’s surprise. As the game continued, I couldn’t help but get sucked into the atmosphere. Now it was the final inning, and our team was

down. My brother was their last chance to win with bases loaded and two strikes. Sweat dripped down his face leaving a trail along his dirt covered skin. I had long since taken off my collared shirt and was standing in the bleachers drenched in sweat from vigorous cheering and anticipation. The machine pitched and I held my breath. He swung and the ball sored away out past the fence. My mother and I exploded as did the rest of the families there. My brother took his victory lap and danced and rejoiced his win with his crazed team. Now that the game was over, I grabbed my shirt and phone and made my way down the bleachers. Checking the time my phone read 7:01 and I had two missed phone calls. I felt my chest tighten with panic. “Shit! I need to leave or else the guys are never going to let me live it down. Ashley going to think I’m a loser oh man we got to…”. My thinking was cut short by my brother as he tackled me in a hug. “Did you see me, did you! I was awesome, we flipping won!” Greg eyes were shining, I had never seen him so happy. I couldn’t help but meet his enthusiasm and found myself with the biggest goofiest smile. “You kicked butt dude, when did you get good at baseball?” I asked full of sarcasm. He didn’t answer just stood there covered in dirt and sweat hugging me so proud of himself. I was proud too and I didn’t really care about the movies so much then. That was when mom grabbed us and started for the car through the crowd. “Honey look at the time you’re going to be late to the movie.” I smiled at her as we walked towards the exit. “It’s ok, this was better than some movie.” Then a voice from behind us made me breakout in a cold sweat.

“Yeah, this was better than a movie even if the movie would have been good.” There standing behind me was nonother than Ashely with her own sweaty little brother attached to her hip. “The rest of the team is going out for pizza to celebrate are you guys coming?” She said this to my mom but never stopped looking at me. I tried to be normal and pushed my brother off me. He ran off with Ashley’s brother towards the cars and we followed behind. I worked up the nerve to talk. “So, your good with missing the movie, I mean you don’t think the other will be mad?” She gave me a soft smile and her cheeks seemed to glow with the slightest warmth, but that had to be my imagination. “Its fine, it’s not like we didn’t try right? Regardless I guess this means that we just have to catch a movie together sometime to make up for it.” I didn’t say anything after that, just nodded. We got in our cars and started towards the pizza place, and I couldn’t think of a better place to go.

WATER Water 1. Splashing chorus sounded by children in play: as of a hundred plus kids rushing into the pool, splashing all the way. 2. Waves gently caressing still warm sand: as in a Galveston night with moon out in full: Fishing in ponds, rivers, lakes, or even beautiful seas/ Royal Gorge rafting/ Sweat off the brow, hot days spent in play or work/ drinking, quenching thirst. My I Am My time the ocean, and I am the sandy shore, it slowly ebbs me away. My dreams the shinning stars, and I am the moonless sky, they are far out of reach. My pain the beating heart, and I am the stethoscope, surely proving that there is life. My rage a flickering fire, and I am the smoldering coals, dangerous long after the flames have gone cold. My fear a permeant pen, and I am a blank page, decisions final as death. My love a wilted rose, and I am the thorns, pricking the hands that try to reach.

Chaos comes Assured with Life and seems to Evolve to Best our peace.