June 2023 Issue : simplebooklet.com

Dear Readers, June is PTSD Awareness Month and Pride Month. We are starting off the month with ourProsecutor's POV with Trans and the law. This year nearly 500 anti-trans bills wereproposed in different states. Kathryn Marsh breaks down what this means for LGBTQ+rights.Mandy Harvey brings us another piece about what you need to know to regulate yournervous system while living in a dysregulated world.Veteran and author of the book, The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, Virginia Cruse shares thebest ways to talk to friends and family about mental health.Rachael Lemon contributes a piece about how witnessing others' resilience can helpsurvivors heal, with her article, "Courage to Heal."Karen Gross shares a piece she originally wrote for her blog in Medium called, "Behavioris the Language of Trauma."Teaching your children about privilege could lead to a more inclusive and supportivesociety where everyone has an opportunity to reach their full potential. Children's bookAuthor Susan Justice shares tips on how to speak with children about privilege.As in every issue, we have our monthly AIM Playlist focused on moving through PTSD,along with my picks for children and adult books about mental health. Plus, check out JoyLarkin's Twin Flame Readings to see what's in store for you this June. Happy Reading!Authentic Insider | Page 02Lorilee BinstockEditor in Chief

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Authentic Insider | Page 09 “There is no timestamp on“There is no timestamp on“There is no timestamp ontrauma. There isn’t a formulatrauma. There isn’t a formulatrauma. There isn’t a formulathat you can insert yourself intothat you can insert yourself intothat you can insert yourself intoto get from horror to healed. Beto get from horror to healed. Beto get from horror to healed. Bepatient. Take up space. Let yourpatient. Take up space. Let yourpatient. Take up space. Let yourjourney be the balm.”journey be the balm.”journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra– Dawn Serra– Dawn Serra

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une is Pride Month. When the first Pride March was planned in 1970, it was designed by the LGBTQ+community as a “demonstrate[ion] against centuries of abuse; official betrayal of their human rights byvirtually all segments of society; from government hostility to employment and Housingdiscrimination.”[1] Fifty-three years later, looking at recent headlines and a slew of proposed laws, it’seasy to wonder, do equal rights apply to the LGBTQ+ community? This year more than 490 anti-transbills were proposed in different states, compare this to 278 bills in 2022 and approximately 120 anti-trans bills in 2020. "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, arecitizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce anylaw which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall anyState deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to anyperson within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."When examining the legal history of LGBTQ+rights, the first time any type of equal rights forthe LGBTQ+ community were held to exist wasIn 1958 when the Supreme Court of the UnitedStates (SCOTUS) decided One, Inc. v. Olesen.This case held free speech protections appliedto pro-homosexuality writings. Sixty-five yearsafter the Court’s ruling that pro-homosexualitywritings do not violate obscenity laws and arein fact protected speech. We are seeing schoolsand community libraries ban books thatinvolve hate crimes, LGBTQ themes, or writingsthat are deemed sexually explicit. This means that states must govern impartiallyand not draw distinctions between individualssolely on differences, including differences ofsexual orientation and gender identity, thatare irrelevant to a legitimate governmentalobjective.Although the 14th Amendment makes itsound simple, and obvious, the legal battle forequal protections and civil rights for membersof the LGBTQ+ community has a long historythroughout our court system. The most recentdecision that guaranteed equal employmentrights was just decided in 2020.June is Pride MonthBy Kathryn MarshProsecutor's POV[1] Library of Congress, https://www.loc.gov/lgbt-pride-month/about/The 14th Amendment Equal Protection Clause states:Authentic Insider | Page 10

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I have personally handled cases of childsexual abuse that only came to light afterthe child read a book that discussed badtouches and abuse, arguably a sexuallyexplicit book. This book was the firstinsight the child had showing the actionsof her family member were not love, butrather abuse. I know of a teen who wasstruggling with bullying and mentalhealth challenges. He read a book thatexplained identity, orientation andsexuality in terms geared for teenageunderstanding. This book did not takepositions just gave explanations, but forthis teen, this book helped provideinsight and feelings of not being alone.Books can save lives and provideopportunities for our young people thatthey may not have otherwise. 1 in 4LGBTQ+ youth have experiencedhomelessness, and LGBTQ+ youth aremore than four times as likely to attemptsuicide as their peers[2]. If a book orliterature help prevent either outcomebanning them is counterintuitive andflies in the face of more than 65 years oflegal precedent. If, as a parent, you don’twant a child reading a certain book, thatis your right as a parent to enforce. Yourrights as a parent do not mean you havethe right to limit what other children mayread. I would encourage all parents todiscuss with their children the expectationsthey have for the books their children read.Parents should engage in book discussionswith their children. Our young people hearmore than we think they do when it comesto the world around them, and this can leadto fear, confusion, and misunderstandings.Age-appropriate books can help childrenwork through these issues, help to developempathy and can help them give a voice towhat they’re feeling. When considering ouryoung people, and not just our LGBTQ+young people we should also take a longlook at our overall literacy levels before weworry about banning books that exploresexuality, hate crimes and more. The U.S.National Center for Education Statistics(NCES) reports that 34% of U.S. students arebelow basic reading level in the fourthgrade, with another 31% of students belowthe proficient reading level. Approximately27% of eighth grade students are belowbasic reading level with another 39% arebelow the proficient reading level. FreeSpeech and the Equal Protection Clauseshould help ensure that age-appropriatebooks remain available for all of our youngpeople.[2] Trevor ProjectAuthentic Insider | Page 11

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In 1996, nearly 40 years after One, Inc,SCOTUS held that the Equal ProtectionClause applied to homosexual andbisexual individuals. The Court struckdown a Colorado law preventing equalprotection from discrimination to theLGBTQ community. Justice Kennedy inauthoring the opinion of the Court wrote"If the constitutional conception of 'equalprotection of the laws' means anything, itmust at the very least mean that a baredesire to harm a politically unpopulargroup cannot constitute a legitimategovernmental interest.". In today’scurrent political climate the transcommunity is the unpopular group, asdemonstrated by the over 490 anti-transbills that were filed in 2023. Any of theanti-trans legislation that passed this yearwould have to show how the lawconstitutes a legitimate governmentpurpose. It’s hard to imagine the courtswill find a legitimate government interestin prohibiting employees from usingpreferred pronouns. School bathrooms,however, appear to be different. TheFederal circuits are split on whether thereis a legitimate government interest inrestricting the use of school bathroomsfor trans students. This means SCOTUSwill have to make the final decision. If thelegitimate government interest is concernabout sexual assault, then the statistics ofsexual assault need to be discussed. 46% ofbisexual women have been raped,compared to 17% of straight women and13% of lesbians. 40% of gay men, and 47% ofbisexual men have experienced sexualviolence compared to 21% of straight men.The trans community is even morevulnerable, with approximately 47% oftransgender people experiencing sexualassault at some point in their lifetime.Conversely, only 20% of convicted sexualassault offenders identify as LGBTQ, withonly 0.7% identifying as transgender,according to a study that examinedconvicted sex offenders on the sex offenderregistry.[3]In 2003, Lawrence v. Texas, was decided. Thiscase held that same sex couples wereguaranteed the right to privacy forconsensual sexual acts that occurred in theirown home. This case held that laws banningsexual activity on the basis of sexualorientation were unconstitutional. "Their[Lawrence and his partner] right to libertyunder the Due Process Clause gives themthe full right to engage in their conduct[3] LGBTQ People on Sex Offender Registries in the US, UCLA School of Law Williams InstituteAuthentic Insider | Page 12

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without intervention of the government,"wrote Justice Kennedy. "The Texas statutefurthers no legitimate state interest whichcan justify its intrusion into the personaland private life of the individual." While thiscase held that there was no governmentalinterest, this decision was based on thelegal theory of a right to privacy that wasfirst articulated by Roe v. Wade, a right thathas since been overturned in the Dobbs v.Jackson Women’s Health Organizationdecision.In 2015 the Obergefell v. Hodges case heldthat the Equal Protection Clause and theDue Process Clause of the 14th Amendmentguaranteed same sex couples thefundamental right to marry. The opinionstated that "In forming a marital union, twopeople become something greater thanthey once were. As some of the petitionersin these cases demonstrate, marriageembodies a love that may endure even pastdeath. It would misunderstand these menand women to say they disrespect the ideaof marriage. Their plea is that they dorespect it, respect it so deeply that theyseek to find its fulfillment for themselves.Their hope is not to be condemned to livein loneliness, excluded from one ofcivilization’s oldest institutions. They ask forequal dignity in the eyes of the law. TheConstitution grants them that right." It’simportant to recognize that both JusticeRoberts and Justice Alito wrote dissents tothis opinion stating that the Constitutiondoes not guarantee the right for same sexcouples to marry, rather this decision shouldbe left to the states. After the Dobbs opinion,fearing a roll back of the equal right to marryCongress passed the Respect for MarriageAct.In 2020, SCOTUS decided Bostock V. ClaytonCounty, Georgia, Judge Gorsuch, writing theopinion for the Court held that “An employerwho fires an individual merely for being gayor transgender violates Title VII… Becausediscrimination on the basis of homosexualityor transgender status requires an employerto intentionally treat individual employeesdifferently because of their sex, an employerwho intentionally penalizes an employee forbeing homosexual or transgender”.Sixty-five years after One, Inc., the LGBTQ+community is still battling for equal rightsand are fighting against a wave of anti-LGBTQ legislation. “The best way to takecontrol over a people and control themutterly is to take a little of their freedom at atime, to erode rights by a thousand tiny andalmost imperceptible reductions. In this way,the people will not see those rights andfreedoms being removed until past the pointat which these changes cannot bereversed.”(Pat Miller, Woefully Ignorant). ThisPride month let us honor our LGBTQ+community by standing up for equal rightsunder the law. LGBTQ+ rights and freedoms,are all citizens rights and freedoms. [4] Trevor ProjectIf the legitimategovernment interestis concern aboutsexual assault, thenthe statistics ofsexual assault needto be discussed. Authentic Insider | Page 13

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was the perfect corporate employee. Eager to please.Eager to learn. Willing to work long days, late nights, onweekends and vacations for the sake of proving myself. The rush I felt of getting something created and launched thatseemed impossible to everyone else was like a drug. Over andover again I’d hear, “You can make anything happen!” “You’reso amazing!” And for a brief moment, I felt worthy, confident, and loved! But those feelings were fleeting and would disappear fasterthan air being released in a balloon. Then, I would have to seek the next big project, the nextimpossible task that would once again prove my worth. Don’tget me wrong, I enjoyed those days! I enjoyed the rush, theexperience, the accolades. And most of all I enjoyed feelingimportant and valuable!But the reality is, it was unhealthy. I was more than willing tosacrifice myself - my health, my time, my energy - to meet thedemands of work with the hope that what I was DOING wouldmake me enough. And if I was to really acknowledge what was going on belowthe surface, I would see that I felt completely broken inside. Isuffered with anxiety, fear, extreme feelings of unworthiness,doubt, and imposter syndrome. I tried desperately to hidethose feelings but nothing kept them hidden for long.They say that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back at that time,after all these years of healing, I can see that I was living andoperating in a dysregulated nervous system. A nervous system that was trained (and stuck) in survival;feeding off of stress and tension. One day, in the middle of a big project, I found myself layingon a chair on my back deck with the sun blasting down on meand barely having the energy to move. I weakly wrote an emailto my boss and told him I needed to take some time off. “I’mnot well.”Broken: How to regulate yournervous system whileliving in adysregulated worldWritten by Mandy HarveyIAuthentic Insider | Page 15

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That was the moment I realized just how dysregulated mysystem was and that I needed to do some deep healing. I not only had extreme fatigue, but I also struggled withanxiety, low appetite, autoimmune flares, digestiveproblems, weight gain, brain fog, a racing heart, and foodsensitivities. I felt like I was 100 years old yet I was only in my 30’s. This was a wake up call! So I laid there, at the start of this journey not knowing whatI was going to do but ready to do anything that would helpme feel alive again. I started to embrace a holistic lifestyleof functional nutrition, meditation, journaling, slowingdown, getting outside more, and body-based traumahealing. I wasn’t prepared however for the challenge I wouldexperience in trying to fit this “new lifestyle” into my oldcorporate one. Trying to fit my “holistic healing, slow down and relax”methods into the “drama, stress, hustling and tighttimelines” of Corporate America was like putting a squarepeg into a round hole. I figured it out over time but notwithout a few failures - swinging back and forth from being“on track” with this healing and falling off getting suckedback into the dysregulation and stress of my work.What happens when the very world we are attempting to heal andthrive in is dysregulated, toxic and keeps us stuck in stress? Is iteven possible to heal?The short answer is with determination and focus…yes!!! Thereare however a few steps to take to help set yourself up for success;Lessons I wish I had when I started!Prioritize Your Inner TruthIt’s important to realize that for the most part, our culture thriveson seducing us away from our inner self, aka our intuition. Withproducts and solutions that promise quick fixes and “the latesttrend / expert advice” we are influenced to trust them whiledismissing our inner wisdom. To heal and regulate our nervous system in a dysregulated world,we have to start by prioritizing our inner truth. Spend time daily(minimum of 5 min) tuning into your inner world. Place your handon your heart space, soften your gaze or close your eyes, make theintention to honor and trust what your inner world has to say, andthen just listen. Set Boundaries This is so crucial for the healing process. Boundaries help createthe container for the healing to occur. Take time to reflect on whatyour requirements are for healing? Example: 15 minutes in themorning to yourself, one home cooked healthy meal per day, awalk outside after dinner 3x a week, limiting interactions withnegative people, limiting social media and news stories. If you find it hard to establish and communicate your boundarieswith others, then unresolved trauma might be the culprit. It’spossible you could benefit from seeking professional help tosupport you in healing those deeper wounds. “Remember youhave the right to have boundaries, but it’s up to you to createthem.” - Terri Cole It’s necessary to find thoseplaces and people that can helpcreate a safe environment forour body to relax. Authentic Insider | Page 16

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Circle of SafetyWe can’t heal when we don’t feel safe. When our bodies sensedanger (regardless of if it’s from stressful work, criticism,judgment, or negative people) our sympathetic nervous system istriggered and we go right into survival mode. Healing is notaccessible in that state. It’s necessary to find those places and people that can help createa safe environment for our body to relax. Reflect on what a circle ofsafety looks like for you? Is that a room in your home that you canclaim just for your healing? A friend to connect with? A locationoutside? Take time to establish that safe space. Once we have asafe space to relax in, then we can apply and integrate nervoussystem regulation techniques to help us heal. With practice and the right approach you really can regulate yournervous system and foster a greater sense of safety and calm evenin a dysregulated world. Trying to fit my“holistic healing, slow down and relax”methods into the“drama, stress,hustling and tighttimelines” ofCorporate Americawas like putting asquare peg into around hole. Authentic Insider | Page 17

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Let’s BeginAwful things happen in our personal relationshipswhen we are struggling with mental illness.Persistent negative beliefs about ourselves, otherpeople, and the world can take a shotgun blast toour personal relationships. This is true even with thepeople we care about the most.We may not know we are struggling with mentalillness, but we often suspect something is off. Wemay feel like we’re in a funk or not feeling likeourselves, and our loved ones know something is off,too. Our mental health issue can become “theelephant in the room.” This metaphor means thatthere is something in the room that is glaringlyobvious to everyone, but no one talks about itbecause the topic is too uncomfortable. To get pastthis awkwardness, we are going to create an elevatorspeech.TALKING TO LOVED ONES ABOUTMENTAL ILLNESS: THE ELEVATOR SPEECH B Y V I R G I N I A C R U S E hile not everyone in our lives has earned theright to know our story, there are probably somepeople in our lives who have. Partners, family, andfriends (the family we choose) can providetremendous support, but how do we even begin toexplain what we’re experiencing so that we can gettheir buy-in?When I was first diagnosed with PTSD while servingin the military, I needed the support of my lovedones and didn’t know how to start the conversation.I was afraid of being judged and rejected. Later, Ibecame a mental health provider and learned thepower of role-playing and using scripts as a way topractice difficult conversations before having them.In this piece, we’re going to map out exactly how totalk to the people in our lives who matter about ourmental health issues and ask them for support. To do this, we are going to create an “elevatorspeech.” I’ve taught this technique hundreds oftimes over the years and have seen it work time andagain.WAuthentic Insider | Page 19

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The Elevator SpeechWe get the term “elevator speech” from thebusiness world. It’s brief, about 30 seconds (thetime it takes to ride from the bottom to the topof a building in an elevator), and its intent is toclearly and succinctly make a pitch for support.Here are the steps we will use to make ourpitch to our loved ones along with someexample verbiage as a model:Before rolling out our elevator speech, it’simportant that we let our loved one know thatwe want to talk to them about somethingimportant, and we will need about 30 secondsof uninterrupted time to do it. Not everyone welove will be on board for this, and that’s okay.Relationships take two people, and it isincredibly important that we choose to honorothers’ boundaries. This may sound like: “Thereis something important I’d like to talk to youabout. It’s not bad news. If it’s okay, I’d like tosay it all at once and I promise it will only takeabout 30 seconds. Would that be okay?” Waitfor a verbal yes and proceed.Let’s say our loved one is an interrupter. That’sokay. If they interrupt, gently ask again, “Wouldit be okay with you if I got this all out? I promiseI will answer any questions you have in about30 seconds.” What if they say no? This happens, and it’s okay.Let them know that if they change their mind,we are available. Reaffirm that we care aboutthem and respect their boundaries. Then, leaveit alone. They will talk to you when they areready.Some of us struggle withverbal processing or somethingthat makes talking to anotherperson impossible for us. That’s okay. I’m a believer that whenever there is an elephantin the room, we are smart to introduce it. Wemight feel uncomfortable, or even feel completelynumb and find it hard to connect. All of that isokay so long as we name it: “I feel really nervoustalking to you right now. If I sound shaky, it’sbecause I am, but I’ll be okay.” Or, “I realize that Imight sound like I’m not feeling anything rightnow. It’s hard for me to connect, but I promisethat I want to.” This is an opportunity for us to own our strugglesor behavior completely with no excuses. Keep itsimple: “I know that things have been off. I’vebeen drinking too much and spending a lot oftime alone.” Or, “I’ve had a terrible couple of years,and I’ve struggled with dark thoughts.” Nothingwe say is a revelation; we are simply stating outloud what they already know. This is when we learned something we didn’tknow before or realized something we hadn’tfully grasped before. Because of this, ourfundamental belief system has changed, or, forthe first time, we want our fundamental beliefsystem to change. Epiphanies come in packageslarge and small, but their impact is profound. Thiscan sound like, “I realized after my last attempt toend my life that I want to live,” or, “I decided that Iwant to be the best Mom I can be.” Authentic Insider | Page 20ASK PERMISSIONINTRODUCE OUR ELEPHANTOWN OUR PASTTHE EPIPHANY

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“I completely understand, and I respect your boundaries. If youchange your mind, please know that I would value talking with you.”They will talk to you when they are ready. That is when the realconnection or reconnection is possible.Some of us struggle with verbal processing or something thatmakes talking to another person impossible for us. That’s okay.Write your elevator speech in a letter and hand it to a loved one. Itdoesn’t matter how we connect; it matters that we choose to do soin an authentic way. About Virginia CruseLicensed in Texas and Louisiana,Virginia is a LicensedProfessional Counselor andauthor of The Soldier's Guide toPTSD and The Soldier's Guide toPTSD You can learn more aboutVirginia’s work through ThePTSD Recovery Series and followher on Facebook. This is when the conversation shifts to the here and now.We need support from our loved one. We know thisjourney will not be easy, and we state our dedication totrying: “I want to change, and I also know that this won’tbe easy. I would value your support.” Our journey is not anovernight process, and we need to let our loved onesknow we need them and that we are all-in.Not everyone is comfortable with those three little words,but this is our chance to break ranks. Keep it simple: “themost important thing I want you to know is that I loveyou and I’m open to answering any questions you have.” This is the hardest part of theelevator speech because everypart of us wants to jump to therescue or break the awkwardsilence. I implore you, friend: bequiet and listen. Our silencehonors our loved ones’experience and invites them toshare with us. This is how wereconnect. Our loved one may not be readyto talk with us at that moment,and that’s okay because wehave opened a door that is noteasily shut. We can let themknow that if they change theirmind, we are available, andreaffirm that we care.Authentic Insider | Page 21ASK FOR BUY-IN, MANAGE EXPECTATIONSLOVE THEM SILENCE

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"How Witnessingthe Resilience ofOthers Can HelpSurvivors ofDomestic AbuseFind Their Strength" urviving domestic abuse is an incrediblydifficult and traumatic experience thatcan leave deep emotional scars. Healing isa challenging journey, but one powerfultool that can help you is vicariousresilience.Leaving an abusive partner is acourageous decision that requiresimmense strength and resilience. It canbe a difficult and complex journey thatleaves survivors with deep emotionalscars. If you are a survivor of domesticabuse who has just left an abusive partner,know that you are not alone. Recovery ispossible, and there is hope for a brighterfuture.Vicarious resilience is the positivetransformation and growth that occurswhen you witness and engage with theresilience and post-traumatic growth ofother survivors.When you see other survivors who haveovercome their trauma and are thriving, itcan increase your sense of hope andoptimism. Witnessing the resilience of otherscan help you believe that your own recoveryis possible and that there is hope for abrighter future. It can inspire and empoweryou to believe in your own ability toovercome your trauma and build a new lifefor yourself.By Rachael Lemon Witnessing the resilience of otherscan help you believe that your ownrecovery is possible and that thereis hope for a brighter future.Here are some of the benefits of witnessingvicarious resilience:Increased hope and optimism: Seeing theresilience and post-traumatic growth ofother survivors can increase your sense ofhope and optimism. It can help you see thatit is possible to heal and recover from yourtrauma and that there is hope for a brighterfuture. This can be especially important inthe early stages of recovery when you mayfeel overwhelmed and hopeless.SAuthentic Insider | Page 23

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Resilience and coping skills: Engagingwith other survivors and witnessing theirresilience can help you build your ownresilience and coping skills. It can showyou that you have the strength andresilience to overcome your trauma andcan inspire you to develop your owncoping strategies. This can be particularlyimportant in the early stages of recoverywhen you may be struggling to cope withyour emotions and feelings of uncertainty.Personal growth and development:Witnessing vicarious resilience can alsopromote personal growth anddevelopment. It can inspire you to pursueyour own goals and dreams and give youa sense of purpose and meaning in life. Itcan also help you develop a new sense ofidentity and build a life that is free fromabuse.If you are a survivor of domestic abusewho has just left an abusive partner, knowthat you are not alone. Seeking outsupport from other survivors and engaging with their stories of resilience andrecovery can be an incredibly powerful toolthat can help you build hope, resilience, and asense of community.Remember, there is no "right" way to heal, butwitnessing vicarious resilience can help youbelieve in your own strength and resilienceand give you the courage to build a new lifefor yourself.If you resonate with this piece and would liketo connect with the author on LinkedIn orreceive a copy of her empowering journal"Healing the Wounds: A Journal of Self-Discovery and Healing After Domestic Abuse"please reach out through DMs. You have thestrength and resilience to overcome yourtrauma and build a new life for yourself. Youdeserve to live a safe, fulfilling life free fromabuse, and witnessing vicarious resilience canhelp you get there.Take care, you’ve got this, and we’ve got you!Authentic Insider | Page 24

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As the mental health crisis reaches devastating levels post pandemic, more and more people arelooking for ways to manage their mental health. How does a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a veteran struggling with PTSD and an athletesuffering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), trauma, and addiction find effective healing andrelief? Psychedelics. A treatment that was studied and used as effective treatment for mental health disorders until itwas banned and categorized as a schedule I drug in the 1970s, psychedelics have providedmuch needed relief for thousands of people suffering from trauma and mental health issues.Regardless of the laws banning these treatments, the people who understood the power of thesemedicines feel more empowered to find ways to help others find healing through them. On thefollowing page click on the graphic to view the Proof of Concept for "Our Own PersonalRealities." An Upcoming Documentary about the Fight toBring Psychedelic Healing Back into the LightAuthentic Insider | Page 27

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Consider the young child who has a tempertantrum. That is dysregulation. The youngster whoholds his/her breath until he/she turns blue isdysregulating. The student who throws a chair orrepeatedly pounds on a desk is dysregulating. Thestudent who breaks a window or punches a hole ina wall is displaying dysregulation. The student orworker who disrupts a class or a work shift bythrowing their body or their words around at othersso that peers cannot do their respective work isdysregulated. The adult who screams and turns redand spews spit is dysregulated. The adult who tapshis/her car on the back of another car to showdispleasure with the other driver’s behavior isdysregulated. The adult who pushes in a line andtramples others to get attention is dysregulated.The senior who hits medical caregivers or a spouseis dysregulated. The senior who barricades an exitfrom a location is dysregulated. These are but a fewexamples.BEHAVIOR ISTHE LANGUAGEOF TRAUMABEHAVIOR ISTHE LANGUAGEOF TRAUMAW R I T T E N B YK A R E N G R O S S , T R A U M A E D U C A T O RI have been approached by many peoplerecently about dysregulation. Students aredysregulating. So are educators. So areparents. So are families. So are individuals inrelationships. So are workers. So are travelers.So are drivers of vehicles. So are folks acrossour nation.Dysregulation occurs when a person has an“outsized” reaction to a current event or trigger(outside the “norms” within our society), andthey are then unable to control their behavior,at least initially. Dysregulation can take manyforms, including shouting, hitting, agitation,extreme anxiety, throwing things (or oneself),nasty commentary involving vituperative words(and words can surely hurt). To be sure,dysregulation may look vastly different whenexhibited by children, adolescents, young W H A T D Y S R E G U L A T I O N M E A N SA N D W H A T C A U S E S I T ?Authentic Insider | Page 29

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It is these observations that should lead us toask, when confronted with a dysregulatedperson of any age, NOT what is wrong with youbut WHAT happened to you, noting a book ofthe same name co-authored by Oprah. To besure, it doesn’t help to shout out “Whathappened to you?” in a nasty or demeaning orfrustrated tone. How we enable someone to re-regulate who is dysregulated isn’t a one size fitsall answer.But, in our world today with its plethora oftrauma, we would be wise to give educators,social workers, service workers, workplaceleaders and healthcare givers tools they can tryto re-regulate a dysregulated person. Sadly, weoften don’t teach those skills.That said, there are others who are very capableof re-regulating troubled kids and adultsalthough they may not know or name thestrategies they are using; life-experience hasbeen their guide or instinct or personalexperience. For this latter group, understandingwhy what they are actually doing that isworking is helpful too. If you can name whatworks, then you have a way of understandingwhy a given strategy is beneficial and when it isbest deployed. And, one can be prepared.One added note: Just getting angry is not beingdysregulated. Anger is an emotion that isacceptable (and even good) to feel if the angercan be controlled. For example, someone whoconsciously writes an email that is angry totheir boss or in a relationship is notIf a person has “squares,” (meaning behaviorpatterns), dysregulation moves their squaresinto different places in space. Rather than someorder (although note again that the orderedsquares are NOT all the same), the squares flyout and flip out.Not only can dysregulation take many formsbut the reasons for the dysregulation are notuniform either (neither are the solutions).Individuals can be dysregulated due to mentalor physical illness. Consider the impact of braininjuries as one source. Individuals who lackappropriate social-emotional learning canbecome dysregulated when they can’t managetheir feelings with respect to a new situation.Individuals who are traumatized candysregulate as a symptom of trauma, whetherthat trauma is occurring now or is older but isbeing retriggered by a current happening. And,the triggering trauma can occur from manycauses (or multiple simultaneous causes)including sexual abuse, addiction, death, shortand prolonged separations from loved ones,war, violence (including domestic outbursts),lack of parental love, care and security, neglectin early childhood.D Y S R E G U L A T I O N C A NT A K E M A N Y F O R M S ,I N C L U D I N G S H O U T I N G ,H I T T I N G , A G I T A T I O N ,E X T R E M E A N X I E T Y . . .Authentic Insider | Page 30

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dysregulating. It may be unwise or unnecessaryand there may be better modes of expressionbut that is not dysregulation; this isn’t aboutNOT getting angry.Rather, the dysregulation we are addressinghere is about expressing feelings and emotions(often unidentified) in ways that are not withinthe norms of behavior of our society (othercultures may have different approaches) andare disruptive and uncontrolled and oftengenerate both physical and psychologicalindicia.Consider an adult who is so anxious that she/hecannot function; they cannot concentrate; theycannot work; they cannot communicateverbally or in writing; they are pacing and theyare unable to identify what is troubling them;they are having a panic attack of sorts. This ISdysregulation. There may be many causes ofwhich trauma is but one. To be clear here,anxiety per se is not bad; it is the height of thelevel of anxiety that can take it outside therange of what is healthy and manageable.This discussion about dysregulation in thecontext of trauma isn’t about pathology ormental illness. Dysregulation is about responsesthat are not controllable, not understood, notmanageable and that stand in the way of anindividual processing what is happening intheir mind and body. And oft-times (but notalways), dyregulation is a behavior thatbespeaks trauma.A N D O F T E N T I M E S( B U T N O T A L W A Y S ) ,D Y R E G U L A T I O N I S AB E H A V I O R T H A TB E S P E A K S T R A U M A .Remembering that there is no one-size fits allsolution to dysregulation, let’s start with thisdistinction: there are differing approaches todealing with dysregulation where theindividual dysregulating is presenting a dangerto themselves or others.In these situations, we need to create safety foreveryone and that may well involve removingthe dysregulated individual from the group(sub-optimal though that is from a traumarecovery perspective.) For situations where thedysregulation is disruptive and disturbing (inmany senses), there are a differing set ofstrategies. It is this latter category ofdysregulated individuals that we are focusingon here.To be clear: Preserving safety for all hasprimacy; so again, if the dysregulation presentsa clear and present danger to anyone(including the person dysregulating), then thattakes priority. But, that is not our topic here.R E - R E G U L A T I O N T O O L S I N T H EC O N T E X T O F T R A U M AAuthentic Insider | Page 31

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Before we turn to dealing with a dysregulatedperson, I want to spend a few minutes(words/ideas) on our capacity to notice thatdysregulation is on the horizon. This mattersbecause it is easier to help someone who is onthe road to dysregulation rather than someonewho is already totally dysregulated. Think aboutit this way: if we can identify the tell-talesymptoms of a heart attack and intervene, thatis vastly better than trying to restart someone’sheart after it has stopped beating.To be sure, there may not be enough time tonotice shifts or read clues and messages that arebeing demonstrated or evidenced by someonewho will dysregulate. That said, it is alwaysbetter to prevent dysregulation if possible.Start with this reality: dyregulation is not ascommon if the “adult in the room” is calm androle modeling calm continuously.Dysregulation is also not as common when trustexists between the “adult in the room” andstudents/ workers/patients. Dysregulation is notas common if the “adult in the room” knowssomething personal and important about thoseR E M E M B E R I N GT H A T T H E R E I S N OO N E - S I Z E F I T S A L LS O L U T I O N T OD Y S R E G U L A T I O N ,S T A R T W I T H P R E V E N T I O Nfor whom he/she iscaring/teaching/serving/working. Dysregulationis not as common if the “adult in the room” hasquality communication with those whomhe/she is caring/teaching/serving/working.Pause here for a moment. The just describedactions/knowledge/activities can be viewed astools to prevent dysregulation. But, and this isimportant, even with these tools, dysregulationcan and oft-times does occur. It is no one’sfault. It often occurs without warning andwithout explanation (at least initially). Most ofthe time, dysregulation is done without intent;meltdowns are not planned for events. In asense, it is similar to criminal law where intentmatters before we punish. In the context ofdysregulation, with rare exception, the “bad”behavior is neither planned nor intentional.Now, these are not the only tools that can helpprevent or minimize dysregulation. Notice thatthe above suggestions are largely in the controlof the “adult in the room.” What follows areconcrete hints that the “adult in the room” canlook for in those whom they areeducating/serving/working. And, here’s anacronym to help one remember these clues —and they are only clues. Sometimes, the cluescan lead down a false pathway. Sometimesthey are suggestive but not definitive. Usethem, recognizing they are neither the be-all,end-all nor a complete listing of possible clues.And, above all, don’t blame yourself if you missor misunderstand a clue.F I N D I N G C L U E SAuthentic Insider | Page 32

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The acronym is: SHOW. As an overview (withexplanations to follow), the “S” is for SquareSampling; the “H” is for Hyper-vigilance; the “O” isfor ordered/disordered; and the “W” is forWandering (eyes or body parts or the wholebody). And the word “SHOW” has meaning too —because those who may dysregulate may SHOWtheir cards (so to speak) before they dysregulatefully and completely.This Article was featured on Karen Gross'smedium page. To continue reading, click here,Behavior is the Language of TraumaI N T H E C O N T E X T O FD Y S R E G U L A T I O N ,W I T H R A R EE X C E P T I O N , T H E“ B A D ” B E H A V I O R I SN E I T H E R P L A N N E DN O R I N T E N T I O N A L .Authentic Insider | Page 33

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TEACHINGCHILDREN ABOUTPRIVILEGEB Y S U S A N J U S T I C EA U T H O R O F C H I L D R E N W H O D A N C E I N T H E R A I N ur world is beautifully diverse, with people hailing from myriad backgrounds,cultures, and economic statuses. As a mother, I recognize that understandingthis diversity, and the realities it brings, is a crucial part of our children’sdevelopment. That’s why I believe it’s so important to teach them about theconcepts of privilege and equality.Privilege, though it can be an uncomfortable topic for some, is vital to discuss,particularly with children. The distribution of resources and opportunities in oursociety isn’t always equitable. Privilege shines a light on this disparity,revealing the marginalized and oppressed individuals among us. We all benefitfrom different degrees of privilege, and by acknowledging it, we can contributeto dismantling systemic inequalities.In writing Children Who Dance in the Rain, my objective extended beyondsimply educating children about the world’s disparities. I wanted to igniteempathy within them. The aim is to help children grasp privilege andinequality and foster a passion for making a difference. I sought to instill inyoung readers a sense of responsibility, a disposition to leverage theirprivilege to bridge the gap between the haves and have-nots.OAuthentic Insider | Page 35

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THIS COULD LEADTO A MOREINCLUSIVE ANDSUPPORTIVESOCIETY WHEREEVERYONE HAS ANOPPORTUNITY TOREACH THEIR FULLPOTENTIAL.The intention was to craft aresource that would entertain andinspire children to take action tohelp others. A tool that would gentlyelucidate the realities of our worldand motivate action. Understandingthat some people have more thanothers is one thing; realizing thatwe’re all equal and capable ofpositively impacting others’ lives isanother.The ultimate objective is to inspirechildren to leverage their privilegeto champion marginalizedcommunities, address socialdisparities, and assist those in need.This could lead to a more inclusiveand supportive society whereeveryone has an opportunity toreach their full potential.Responsible use of privilege notonly aids others but also enablesindividuals to educate themselves,seek new experiences, and broadentheir perspectives, leading toincreased empathy, understanding,and compassion.However, privilege can also be a double-edgedsword. If misused or left unchecked, it canperpetuate systemic injustices and reinforceexisting power imbalances. This is anotheressential lesson that children need to grasp.They should understand that privilege isn’tinherently bad but can contribute to furtherinequality when misused.This book is more than just a journey tounderstanding privilege. It’s an exploration intothe realms of gratitude and a more profoundbelief in forces greater than ourselves. It delvesinto the notion of divine or universal power,instilling the idea that the universe is abenevolent force working in our favor. It seeksto imbue children with the faith that theuniverse supports them.At its core, the book underscores the profoundmagic that lies in the act of giving, conveyingto children that even their smallest gestures ofkindness can ripple out, creating significantimpact. It aims to equip our youngergeneration with the understanding and wisdomto leverage their privilege not as a mereadvantage but as a powerful tool to sculpt amore equitable and just world for all.Authentic Insider | Page 36

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RECOGNIZING THEDISPARITY IS THEFIRST STEP. THENEXT ISUNDERSTANDINGTHAT YOUR SENSEOF JUSTICE ANDFAIRNESS IS TIED TOTHE OTHER CHILD’S.As a mother, I understand the importanceof instilling fundamental values in ourchildren. They may be young, but they arefuture leaders, and preparing them for adiverse and sometimes unjust world is vital.This book seeks to sow the seeds of abrighter future, fostering a sense ofinterconnectedness and purpose in youngminds and encouraging them to reach forthe stars.Abstract concepts like privilege andinequality often become more tangiblethrough concrete examples. To illustratethis, let’s consider a scenario where you’rein a room with another child. You’re givennine cookies, and the other child is givenone, even though you both love cookiesequally and deserve to enjoy them. But thedistribution is clearly unequal.In this context, with your surplus of cookies,you symbolize an individual given moreopportunities and resources without anyparticular merit. The child with one cookierepresents those with fewer opportunitiesand resources due to circumstancesbeyond their control.This is where the lessons of privilege,empathy, and equity come into play. Thepattern persists if we fail to acknowledgethe unequal distribution of cookies orrecognize that the other child has less. It’seasy to enjoy your cookies withoutquestioning why you received more, butthis is precisely when we need to instill theimportance of empathy and equality in ourchildren.Recognizing the disparity is the first step.The next is understanding that your senseof justice and fairness is tied to the otherchild’s. The equitable solution is for both ofyou to have an equal number of cookies -five each.Authentic Insider | Page 37

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MUCH LIKE THE CHILDWITH MORE COOKIES,THOSE BLESSED WITHPRIVILEGE CARRY THERESPONSIBILITY OFACKNOWLEDGING ITAND USING IT TOEFFECT POSITIVECHANGE.This is not merely about charity or sharing;it’s about questioning the system thatallowed such an unequal distribution in thefirst place. It’s about speaking up for thechild who received less, about leveragingyour privilege to advocate for a moreequitable system.This simple example underscores theimportance of acknowledging privilege,empathizing with those who have less, andusing one’s privilege to advocate forequality. It’s a lesson ofinterconnectedness, teaching children thatwe are all part of the same societal fabric.Your well-being, your sense of justice, isintrinsically linked with the well-being ofothers.Much like the child with more cookies, thoseblessed with privilege carry theresponsibility of acknowledging it andusing it to effect positive change. They canuse their voice, influence, and resources toadvocate for those less fortunate, helpingto create a more equitable world.Children Who Dance in the Rain isonly an initial step in navigating thelabyrinth of complex societal issues.However, even the smallest pebblecan create ripples in the largest oflakes. I aspire not only to inspire ourchildren to take these strides butalso to arm them with the courageand wisdom to question inequitablesystems. The hope is that they willlearn to leverage their privilege notas a tool of dominance but as abridge to inclusivity and fairness.Authentic Insider | Page 38

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PTSD AWARENESS PLAYLIST "Praying" by Kesha"Unbroken" by Bon Jovi"zombies" by The Cranberries "Afraid" by neighborhood"Til it happens to you" by Lady gaga"1-800-273-8255" by logic ftg Alessia cara &khalid"numb" by Linkin Park "silence" by marshmallow FTG. khlaid‘safe and sound" by taylor swift"a little bit stronger" by sara evans"brave" By sara bareilles"whataya want from me"BY pink"keep breathing" BY ingrid michaelson"because of you" BY kelly clarkson"wrong side of heaven" By five finger deathpunch"replay" By lady gaga June is PTSDAwareness Month andhere is a playlist thatsheds light on traumaand resilience. I hopeyou enjoy!Authentic Insider | Page 40

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Listening to my Body is an engaging and interactive book that guideschildren through the practice of naming their feelings and the physicalsensations that accompany them. Learning to tune into their bodiesand do this, is a foundation for self-regulation.From wiggly and squirmy to rested and still, Listening to My Bodyhelps children develop a sensations vocabulary so that they can expresswhat they are experiencing. It includes kid-friendly activities woventhroughout the book to reinforce the teachings.Meet the children who learned to dance in the rain. Sophie gets boredquickly and won't even eat her food without looking at her tablet. She'sthrilled to hear of her family's upcoming trip to a magical place calledIndia, a land she's only heard of in stories. Once there, she quicklyrealizes that the underprivileged children living in the mud colonypossess a joy and contentment she can't explain. Sophie sets out on ajourney of discovery, but what she finds may change her world forever.This tale about the true meaning of happiness and the power ofgratitude is based on true events.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 41Anxiety is not just a cognitive experience. When children feel anxious,their bodies respond physically to a perceived threat. They need to feela sense of safety before being able to figure out what to do next.Your child can read along and learn practices and strategies that keepthe anxiety from taking over.Find Your Calm is a wonderfully accessible book that teaches childrenhow to tap into their sense of safety when anxiety sends a falsealarm, so they can find their calm.

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The Soldier’s Guide to PTSD does not waste time cutting through the bulland getting down to brass tacks. Told in the voice of a Soldier-turned-therapist, it is a call to arms, offering facts, empathy, and direction, whileurging Service Members to seek the right therapy, helping family membersto understand the battlefield, and connecting civilians with the Warriorculture. Virginia Cruse, who herself struggled with her own debilitatingPTSD.No one had taken the time to explain PTSD and Moral Injury to ServiceMembers in a way that made sense.MENTAL HEALTHBOOKS (FOR ADULTS)Statistically, women are twice as likely to develop PTSD, experience alonger duration of posttraumatic symptoms, and display more sensitivity toanything that reminds them of the trauma. Often, women’s experiences aredismissed, belittled, and invalidated – and even more so for women of coloror women who identify as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.In this book, we want you to be able to recognize and acknowledge how thetrauma has impacted you, without judgement or shame, so that you canconfidently advocate for the right treatment and begin the healing process.It's no wonder that The Power of Now has sold over 2 million copiesworldwide and has been translated into over 30 foreign languages.Much more than simple principles and platitudes, the book takesreaders on an inspiring spiritual journey to find their true and deepestself and reach the ultimate in personal growth and spirituality: thediscovery of truth and light.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 42

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For the month of June, I see that many of you will be happy, which will be a relief for many because previous months, a lot ofpeople were going through depression, sadness, disappointment, and anxiety. For many, you’ve found more balance in yourlife after removing people, places, and things out of your life that no longer serve you.As for others, I see that you may have to find balance at this time. This could be causing you to feel stress, anxiety, and worry.Someone wants to start a new life with you or perhaps you could be starting a new life or new beginning. Congratulations towhoever this is. I feel that you will have a lot of support in your endeavors and that everything is going to work out for you.For a select few people who don't like the thought of change because it makes you feel uncomfortable may want to stay inyour comfort zone. However, It could be essential for your progress in life to be open to change. For couples, you may have anniversary time or holiday/vacation time. Again, just as important to make sure each other arehappy and fulfil in the marriage. On the other hand, I hear that other couples are on the verge of a divorce. But that is only asmall percentage. Only because I heard someone married for the wrong reasons.Some have learned a hard lesson about choosing glitter over love. The cards are showing that some people have chosenmoney over love, but it didn't work out in their favor.Singles, you will be meeting someone new, and that person could potentially be the one you marry one day. Only advice istaking time to get to know that person. In the meantime, focus on yourself. Focus on your life purpose as you meet newpeople.Another important topic to add is to be careful of those who could be coming around this time. I see unexpected income iscoming. Now that more money is coming, I feel that you will have to set boundaries with a lot of people, who could be trying tocome around to steal from you.In conclusion, I feel that you will be supported by those around you with your endeavors. Keep strong and keep the faith. ButI'm still seeing that some are being resistant to change so it is essential to overcome those fears or doubts that you have.I feel that a few will have a major decision to make. If you are on your healing journey, please continue, don't let anyone oranything stop you from being happy. Monthly Collective ReadingsMonthly Collective Readings for All Signsfor All Signswith Joy Larkin (June 1, 2023 - June 30, 2023) Joy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it her life'swork to help others through lifecoaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coaching servicesfrom Joy and/or get your ownpersonal reading, please scan thebarcode below with yoursmartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page.43