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PETER TRUMBULL L I M E R I C K S RILEY TRUMBULL DRAWINGS

Copyright 2014 by Peter Trumbull Softcover Hardcover EBook ISBN 978 1 4990 5443 9 978 1 4990 5444 6 978 1 4990 5427 9 All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical including photocopying recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the copyright owner This is a work of fiction Names characters places and incidents either are the product of the author s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual persons living or dead events or locales is entirely coincidental Rev date 09 04 2014 To order additional copies of this book contact Xlibris LLC 1 888 795 4274 www Xlibris com Orders Xlibris com

G U N B U C K S

Written by Peter Trumbull Illustrations by Riley Trumbull

PREFACE I started writing the limericks in GunBucks the day after The National Rifle Association disassociated itself from the communal national tragedy called Sandy Hook and its multiple deaths of children and adults I was never more embarrassed by an organization to which I never gave a second thought I was alarmed to learn as was Riley Trumbull the book s illustrator the power exercised by the NRA over the social and political affairs of our country and the world GunBucks is our effort to undo some of the harm done by the NRA to all of us hunters included We also hope to alter the public perception of some of their misleading statements concerning guns and our laws Gunbucks buy power We want to diminish that power

NRA has a farm where they grow what they huck Their multiple acres are all in gunbucks It s easy to till Cause the silage is swill And gunbucks grow best when rooted in muck 1

I once knew a man from L A Who loved everything NRA He loved all the fun And loved all the guns He could shoot without aiming just spray 2

I once knew a man from Pine Bluffs Who joined NRA to be tough He married a missile And shaved with a thistle When he died NRA had him stuffed 3

A man I once knew from San Juan Liked to dress his gun in chiffon He thought love was fate Till once he slept late And his gun blew him off with a yawn 4

I once knew a woman named Nancy Who taught her best gun to dress fancy One day in late May It joined NRA And she had to learn necromancy 5

A man bought a gun to stay free And for practice he shot every tree He shot every sign Every bird every kind Of whatever he called tyranny 6

NRA had a man danced with his gun They called themselves Dear Sweet and Hon On the day of their marriage They rode in a carriage And shot passers by just for fun 7

I once knew a man named Joe Stifle Who bought a new assault rifle His eyes were so hazy The deer thought him crazy NRA called him their kind of guyful 8

I heard of a club in Bangor Wanted members to have guns of war So in case a war came They could get in the game And kill people just like before 9

I once knew a man named Frank Green Who liked to make every shot clean He joined NRA Who taught him to spray And kill much more than he d seen 10

NRA s about money and building a set For a movie where fantasy helps us forget Mental health s not a game Tho it takes all the blame For bad guns and bad laws for murder and debt 11

Thank heavens our forebears had guns They taught us you can t always run The NRA bade Us all be afraid Of bugaboos and it s the main one 12

periodThey re looking for tyrants sea to sea Paranoia always spells tyranny NRA wants to fight To death for our rights But the dead may be just you and me 13

I once knew a man from St Paul Who worked as a live cannon ball The NRA hired him In order to fire him He was fodder to them like us all 14

A new drink has surfaced for shooters Who fantasize downing a hooter Whiskey vermouth And bitter half truths Served on Banana Clip cooters 15

Big Rifle distracts us from death with The Hunt And cries that Big Gov s the real battlefront Daily murder by guns Is death by the tons NRA poses tall but thinks People are runts 16

I once knew a man of great ease Who played with his guns like a tease One was enough Cause she liked to play rough The others he kept just to squeeze 17

The gist of my words is quite clear Fear is the NRA s sphere They take in the dough And ignore what they sow And forget we re not on the frontier 18

Guns have only one purpose to kill NRA acts as Big Rifle s shill All guns are the same All part of the game And plinking is only a fantasy drill 19

We know NRA likes to foster all guns All guns in all shapes all bullets bar none With guns as their heirs We ll need all our prayers To survive what they do to our families for fun 20

NRA has invented a new shooter s drink To take when you want to shoot but not think It s two parts of drool And three parts of cruel Filled up with a skinny but liquefied skink 21

NRA had a man who was smooth crude and coarse Who liked killing people and things sans remorse A taker not giver He made people shiver Death he was called and he rode a pale horse 22

NRA says that guns made us free And more and more guns are NRA s fee They make lots money Selling gun honey Gun bucks are their only free progeny 23

NRA says that gun deaths are sad But that guns are never legally bad The owner s insane But the gun is quite tame And very constitutionally clad 24

Murder by murder NRA hides the sun Safety s a fantasy Big Rifle has spun We sacrifice lives For their dollars and jive Of for and by means the people not guns 25

A woman can kill just like a man And do it with smiles or even dead pan NRA says We favor Guns of all flavors Shooting with guns is like making a flan 26

Spell MURDER BY GUN with capital letts To always remember who always makes threats NRA stops all change And stays king of its range By owning Big Pols and making them pets 27

When walking the streets what Big Rifle likes least Is chewing at buildings or empty car seats BR s biggest thrill Is something to kill Men and women are good a family s a feast 28

Fear is the NRA s weapon of choice Guns are what gives Big Fear their main voice Taken together Like birds of a feather Big guns and big fear are Big Rifle s Rolls Royce 29

Big Rifle has plenty of cash in its till To get what it wants That s us on its grill Tween future and past The present s recast NRA makes our lives its private landfill 30

All guns are equal all made to kill The people who get murdered are all Jack and Jill Fire guns and be damned NRA s a great scam They want us to think that killing takes skill 31

Big Rifle would have us all make believe That having a gun will help people weave A tight little world Where safety is curled Inside a bullet and death s a frost heave 32

Does Big Rifle have missiles and bombs of its own Flame throwers and drones somewhere enthroned In that dark tomb Where mass weapons bloom On the side do they sell a Musk of Brimstone 33

The uzzi s for shooters who aren t very choosy Tween hunting and having a little more boozy Gin and vermouth Always alter the truth Why hunt if they like to be reeling and woozy 34

Why are mass killers suddenly crazy And their guns turn out to be kind of lazy If killers aren t sane And guns can t be blamed Does NRA also make bucks pushing daisies 35

NRA likes to talk about murders And explain that their guns are the girders Supporting the world That guns can t be curled Into plowshares Hope s meant for Good Worders 36

NRA says a good guy with a gun Is the answer to a bad guy whose fun Is shots to the head NRA earns its bread By telling good folks shooting s home spun 37

NRA keeps three witches in gear Stirring their cauldron Guns Money and Fear Bucks leads the pack Fear fills the sack Guns are the last and bring up the rear 38

We all try to like the Second Amendment But NRA knows a secret intendment It s meant to make money More guns and gun honey Death s NRA s special pretendment 39

NRA thinks we ought to return To packing more guns We d easily earn More respect and more fear Tho our guns will just leer Since they know guns and fear make burial urns 40

I once heard of a fellah named Keene The head of a gun money machine He liked to take stands And then wash his hands But could not keep his dirty hands clean 41

NRA touts itself an outreacher Now their out looking for gun toting teachers If a teacher can shoot Wear a bullet proof suit Old western life might become a school feature 42

NRA won t help us amend Any mess which impedes their main end Their end is to make More gold for gold s sake And death is just one of their friends 43

Call it money or wampum or pelf NRA has one object itself They take the loot To buy their new suits And everything else on the shelf 44

NRA is all blood death and sneers And cries to dispel all our fears But if truth is told Truth wears a blindfold Big Rifle cries crocodile tears 45

Big Rifle spreads death fear and dough And that s about all that they know They plant every gun Seed under the sun And dead people grow row by row 46

Brave people who want to keep sane Have doubts when they hear from old Wayne About shooting and fun And tales he has spun Just to keep the gun fires aflame 47

The NRA just bought Procrustes Bed So the people will fit what s ahead NRA ll never change To cure their own mange But they ll warp the whole world for their bread 48

The NRA is a pig in a poke But the buyers never see the whole joke When buyers speak of sporting NRA thinks of distorting Fear and guns with mirrors and smoke 49

Buffing our leaders gold domes NRA has found its way home We ll further assume That in their back rooms To lead is to follow the bones 50

Call yourselves what you seem lily livers NRA growls and most of you quiver You prefer pocket pence To your own common sense Big Rifle barks and mute leaders deliver 51

Some leaders should sign up for spine If they want our respect on the line NRA dollars Are political collars Some leaders are spit gum and twine 52

The makers of guns whisper Hush Cause their profits are plenty and plush They don t want a box in NRA s toxin But should be tarred with the same dirty brush 53

Some leaders find homes in dark places Where dollars shine brighter than faces Some were begot By Big Rifles black rot Which erased all their talked about graces 54

NRA is not freedom s saver But only a modern enslaver Who thinks we all need Their guns and their greed While they pose as the Second s flag waver 55

Some of our leaders prefer cock and bull Some of them surely have their brains full NRA tells them stories About guns and Old Glory And they suddenly see our gov as John Bull 56

Henry and Colt Ruger and Stag All make big money from weaponry s bag Gun makers are best At causing bequests They re pirates of old and death is their swag 57

NRA has an army in waiting To fight for their rights sans abating The tyrants they see Work for you and for me We re the ones they ve taken to hating 58

I met a rich woman named Celia Who loved to collect memorabilia NRA sought her out Cause her dollars had clout And taught her to save necrophilia 59

NRA is built on solid distrust Of our Gov and fear their army will rust They re also afraid They re just a bridesmaid And will never get married cuz they never adjust 60

Never believe what the NRA sells Safety in guns and freedom s farewell The dollars they make Cause them to ache For tanks for drones for rifles and shells 61

Guns aren t the same as pie and ice cream Weapons are not the American dream Big Rifle s lie Makes our country their sty We have to wallow in NRA schemes 62

Hear the rumble of the NRA tanks See their new jets protecting their ranks Do they have an A sub That belongs to their club When a new weapon s made it goes in their bank 63

NRA s on a slope and guns are the grease That makes it slide faster downhill toward caprice NRA dislikes fact And wants to subtract Murder from death and people from peace 64

The boy stood on the burning deck The NRA fought background checks The great ship went down And the whole world was drowned Big Rifle maintained its tight bottleneck 65

66

I ve got my rights is the cry Of the brothers of Sty in my Eye What none of them saw Was their moribund flaw They followed a man with a scythe 67

THE END

Peter Trumbull b 1938 began writing poetry in high school He has written poetry short stories novels and plays all his brief life He says he is very lucky to have survived and plans to continue Riley Trumbull is an artist who has illustrated numerous works of poetry and fiction She currently lives in Michigan