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Create Your Own Self-Care Plan
in One Hour
Four Principles of
Good Self-Care:
INTRODUCTION (continued)
CAROL D. MARSH
Carol was the founding executive director of Miriam's House - a residence for Washington, DC's homeless women living with AIDS - where she lived and worked for seventeen years.
Carol is the author of an award-winning* book (Nowhere Else I Want to Be: A Memoir) about her life and work at Miriam's House.
She is now a nationally certified health and wellness coach.
Visit her website HERE.
* GRAND PRIZE (Nonfiction) - Authors Talk About It Book Contest; FINALIST (Memoir) - Indie Excellence Book Awards; FINALIST (Autobio/Memoir) - Next Generation Indie Book Awards; FINALIST (Memoir) - Sarton Women's Book Contest (winners announced April 2018)
Open the door ...
... to good self-care
The Four Principles of
Good Self-Care
KNOWLEDGE
AWARENESS
PLANNING
IMPLEMENTATION
KNOWLEDGE
what is stress?
what does stress do to your body, your spirit?
what does good self-care look like?
AWARENESS
what is awareness?
how does awareness help YOU in self-care?
what causes YOU stress?
what brings YOU joy and peace?
PLANNING
what can YOU do to reduce stress?
what can YOU do to create joy and peace?
create YOUR self-care plan.
IMPLEMENTATION
do it!
KNOWLEDGE
If you learn about the nature of stress and its effects on your mind, body and spirit, you'll have a better chance of understanding your own reactions to stress, and become aware of when you're struggling, or even getting to burnout.
WHAT IS STRESS?
The Cleveland Clinic (HERE) says "stress is a normal reaction the body has when changes occur. It can respond to those changes mentally, physically or emotionally."
From The Stress Management Society (HERE): "When stressed, the body thinks it is under attack and switches to ‘fight or flight’ mode, releasing a complex mix of hormones and chemicals such as adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine to prepare the body for physical action. This causes a number of reactions, from blood being diverted to muscles to shutting down unnecessary bodily functions such as digestion."
Not all stress is bad. Positive events like a new job, moving, or regaining health after an illness can be stressful. But chronic stress is not normal, and can destroy our quality of life.
KNOWLEDGE (continued)
HOW IS STRESS MANIFESTED?
In our bodies
headache, indigestion, loss of appetite
skin problems
elevated blood pressure
chest pain, rapid heart beat
sexual dysfunction
insomnia
In our minds and spirits
self-doubt, low self-esteem
depression, apathy, isolation
anxiety, panic attacks, irritability, impatience
poor judgment, indecision
inability to concentrate or be productive
memory problems
addictions
KNOWLEDGE
WHAT IS BURNOUT?
Psychology Today (HERE) says burnout is "a state of chronic stress that leads to physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism and detachment, and feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment."
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF BURNOUT?
The signs of burnout are exactly the same as the signs of stress - only they last for more than a few days.
Here's what I learned in my work and life at Miriam's House: the stress was constant, and burnout was usually just around the corner. Once I accepted the presence of constant stress, I realized I had a choice. I could
choose to accept that stress was part of the job
become aware enough to manage my reaction to stress
develop tools and skills to manage stress
deal with burnout as it approached.
That last one is another gem my Miriam's House work taught me: I could not eradicate or prevent burnout, but I could recognize when it was sneaking up on me and do something about it before it grabbed me by the throat.
How did I do that?
AWARENESS
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AWARENESS
How does awareness help in self-care?
Have you ever had this kind of experience?
You get to the end of a difficult day, or finally take a break from working on that project, and you realize your stomach is killing you. Or the headache has got so bad you can hardly see straight.
You leave a contentious meeting, or walk out of the room where you just changed an adult diaper for the umpteenth time, and your face aches because you've been grinding your jaw, or frowning.
What if you were aware enough to let yourself feel the upset stomach, headache or grinding jaws as soon as they started?
The second step to good self-care practice is becoming aware. Aware of
how stress manifests in YOUR bodyhow stress manifests in YOUR spirit/mindwhat situations, circumstances and people cause YOU stress
AWARENESS
To help you in your self-care program, answer the questions below.
Write in your own journal, or download the document below.
* What are your physical signs of stress?
* What are your mental and emotional signs of stress?
* What causes you stress - what people, situations, events, etc.?
Click this arrow to download the journal that goes with this booklet.
You may be thinking,
"I don't have time for this."
And that's precisely why you need to do it.
Because you deserve it.
AWARENESS
An important aspect of awareness and self-care is being really clear about what is NOT stressful for us, and what DOES make us feel good. First, let's look at some basic facts of good self-care, then you'll write about the things that bring you joy and peace.
What is good, basic self-care?
Psychology Today (HERE) says good self-care is about things like healthy living, strong relationships, working toward goals, connecting to a community, creating joy and satisfaction, and a spiritual practice.
HEALTHY LIVING
* good diet
* regular exercise
* good hygiene
* setting aside time for relaxation and recreation.
STRONG RELATIONSHIPS
* supportive and nurturing
* family, friends, professionals, colleagues
* while they may be challenging sometimes - never feel abusive, indifferent, or derisive.
AWARENESS
Good, basic self-care (continued)
WORKING TOWARD GOALS
* the self-esteem we feel when we're being productive
* on our own or as part of a group
CONNECTING TO COMMUNITY
* live, actual communities, not virtual ones like Facebook or Instagram
CREATING JOY AND SATISFACTION
* actively making self-care happen in our lives.
SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
* church, meditation groups, prayer groups, yoga class or Qigong.
* solitary practices
meditation or prayer with a candle lit;
meditative music in a dimly lit room.
(HERE is a good resource for learning about various types of meditation.)
AWARENESS
Good, basic self-care (continued)
WHAT ARE YOUR SELF-CARE PRACTICES?
Keeping in mind the above six categories of basic self-care,
answer these questions in the document you've already created.
* What do you do that makes you feel good about yourself?
* What brings you peace of mind and spirit?
* What are your hobbies?
* Name your truly supportive and nurturing relationships.
PLANNING
It's time to create your self-care plan
STEP ONE
Look at your answers to the questions. Most of what you wrote can be described as an activity, and can be designated on a schedule.
For example, you'd label "meditation" as a daily activity; "dinner with friends" as a weekly activity; and so on. Label them:
DAILY
WEEKLY
MONTHLY
ANNUALLY
STEP TWO
Use the chart on the next page to complete your self-care plan.
You can create your own Excel spreadsheet using the chart as a model, or you can download the chart as it is.
PLANNING
DOWNLOAD
CHART
IMPLEMENTATION
* You've gained KNOWLEDGE about stress and burnout.
* You've become AWARE of your reactions to stress, and how you reduce stress.
* You've PLANNED your self-care on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.
* Now you have a plan to IMPLEMENT.
First, of course, is to make a determination to simply do it.
You'll also want to keep reminders in front of you.
Print out your self-care chart and put it where you see it every day:
on your refrigerator,
on your desk,
on a bulletin board.
Take a photo or screenshot of your self-care chart and make it the wallpaper on your
computer,
desktop,
phone.
Create a checklist for each month of the year.
IMPLEMENTATION
CONGRATULATIONS!
You've taken time to care for yourself. Well done.
If you liked this booklet, consider signing up for one-on-one coaching with me.
You can learn more about coaching with me HERE
Use the buttons below to learn more about Carol, her memoir,
and the FORUM FOR GROWTH IN SERVICE.
Learn more about
NOWHERE ELSE I WANT TO BE:
A MEMOIR
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