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SOUL COMPANIONING FOUR FOCAL APPROACHES

SOUL COMPANIONING Spiritual FRIENDSHIP

Spiritual Friendship A Jewel in the Midst of Life

Spiritual Friendship Celtic Christian s Concept of the Anamchara A Friend of the Soul

Spiritual Friendship Anyone without a soul friend is like a body without a head St Brigit 5c

DIMENSIONS OF SOUL FRIENDSHIP 1 Synonymous with great affection intimacy and depth 2 Characterized by great mutuality 3 Understood to share common values vision of reality and the ability to gain a sense of one s potential of leadership in the case of younger prot g s 4 Not only affirmational but also carry the ability to challenge each person when it is necessary 5 Able to survive geographical separation passage of time and even death itself 6 Centered upon God

ANAMCHARA Soul Friend An act of recognition and belonging where two people get awakened and discover one another and begin to inhabit the one circle of belonging A soul bond type of friendship graced with affection An experience of friendship not wounded or limited by separation or distance A deep and sacred connection where each one awakens each other s lives to free the wild possibilities within one another Represents the true mirror that reflects one s soul Adapted from John O Donohue Anam Cara A Book of CelticWisdom

ANAMCHARA Soul Friend It s about being a cell a sanctuary for others About the graceful art of listening of discerning of being attentive to the working of the heart Concerned with the acquisition of the royal cell of wisdom A place where two people can speak as friends do heart to heart and experience in their mutual disclosure the acceptance and forgiveness of God Adapted from Edward Sellner The Celtic Soul Friend

The Gift of Spiritual Friendship Friendship from the divine perspective springs from God Aelred of Rievaulx On Spiritual Friendship

The Gift of Spiritual Friendship What happiness what security what joy to have someone to whom you dare to speak on terms of equality One to whom you need have no fear to confess your failings one to whom you can unblushingly make known what progress you have made in the spiritual life Aelred of Rievaulx On Spiritual Friendship

The Gift of Spiritual Friendship Although we speak of making friends friends cannot be made Friends are free gifts from God Henri Nouwen Bread for the Journey

The Gift of Spiritual Friendship It is a gift God gives to us It is a gift we can give to others David Benner Sacred Companions

Spiritual Friendship GOD is FRIENDSHIP Bernard of Clairvaux

Spiritual Friendship Proverbs 18 24

EXAMPLES OF Spiritual Friendship David Jonathan Naomi Ruth Francis Clare Teresa of Avila St John of the Cross

Spiritual Friendship Jesus His Disciples A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends You are my friends if you do what I command you I shall not call you servants any more because a servant does not know his master s business

Spiritual Friendship Jesus His Disciples I call you friends because I have made known to you everything I have learned from my Father You did not choose me no I chose you John 15 13 16

Spiritual Friendship Involves two or more close relationships of people who support encourage and pray for one another on their spiritual journeys

Spiritual Friendship The means by which God reveals his goodness by helping us know others and ourselves and thereby know him David Benner Sacred Companions

CHARACTERISTIC Spiritual Friendship LOVE

Spiritual Friendship After David had finished talking with Saul Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself 1 Samuel 18 1 NIV

Spiritual Friendship O Jonathan in your death I am stricken I am desolate for you Jonathan my brother Very dear to me you were your love to me more wonderful than the love of a woman 2 Samuel 1 26

CHARACTERISTIC Spiritual Friendship INTIMACY

Spiritual Friendship Do not press me to leave you and to turn back from your company for wherever you go I will go wherever you live I will live Your people shall be my people and your God my God

Spiritual Friendship Wherever you die I will die and there I will be buried May Yahweh do this thing to me and more also if even death should come between us Ruth 1 16 17

CHARACTERISTIC Spiritual Friendship MUTUALITY

Spiritual Friendship Mutual Support Mutual Sharing Mutual Alignment

Spiritual Friendship A spiritual friend is someone with whom it is safe to take apart our shallow faith our compulsive addictions or whatever else might be under the surface of our visible lives He or she will help us exchange our weaknesses for a new source of trust conviction and desire that will help us grow spiritually James Houston The Transforming Friendship

Spiritual Friendship Born of a similarity in life morals and pursuits that is it is a mutual conformity in matters human and divine united with benevolence and charity Aelred of Rievaulx On Spiritual Friendship

Spiritual Friendship Friends cannot replace God But in their limitations they can be signposts on our journey toward the unlimited and unconditional love of God Henri Nouwen Bread for the Journey

Friendship Blessings May you be blessed with good friends May you learn to be a good friend yourself May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love warmth feeling and forgiveness May this change you May it transfigure that which is negative distant or cold in you May you be brought in to the real passion kinship and affinity of belonging

Friendship Blessings May you treasure your friends May you be good to them and may you be there for them may they bring you all the blessings challenges truth and light that you need for your journey May you never be isolated May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara

SOUL COMPANIONING Spiritual GUIDANCE

Spiritual Guidance Basic Definition A process of paying prayerful attention to the presence and action of God in a given situation

Spiritual Guidance GENERAL Worship Teaching Correspondence Writings Small Group Meetings

Spiritual Guidance INDIVIDUALIZED ONE ON ONE

The Task Spiritual Guidance The heart of the task of spiritual guidance focuses on the depth dimension of the spiritual or pneumatic self whose origin and goal is God Carolyn Gratton The Art of Spiritual Guidance

Central Focus Spiritual Guidance A central focus for spiritual guidance is the human heart s desire to grow and to change to be converted again and again in the direction of its ultimate love Carolyn Gratton The Art of Spiritual Guidance

Spiritual Guidance WHAT IS INVOLVED

Spiritual Guidance Establishing life s connections Heightening the mysterious capacities of a person s heart Helping others deepen their own understanding of life s ultimate meaning

Spiritual Guidance Waking people up to freedom and wholeness Increasing people s margin of free responsible choice Showing the person how to participate more deeply into the Mystery

Spiritual Guidance Waking people up to freedom and wholeness Facilitating the process of integration in a person s life Helping awaken the path of God s leading in people s hearts

Spiritual Guidance Listening for God s call for a person s life Looking for ways in which God s Spirit is addressing the person Helping the person to look for those ways

One on One Spiritual Guidance Central to spiritual guidance is the hard work of attending reverently to the way in which each person has come to terms with God s call and how each has experienced and responded to that call

Focus on the Spiritual Guide

Spiritual Guide A godly mature follower of Christ who shares knowledge skills and basic philosophy on what it means to increasingly realize Christlikeness in all areas of life Paul Stanley J Robert Clinton

Spiritual Guide A spiritual guide is one who has traveled some distance along the path of the Christian life

Spiritual Guide A guide should be knowledgeable about the markers that lead forward on this path as well as familiar with the pitfalls detours trials and temptations along its course Marjorie Thompson Soul Feast

Spiritual Guide The value of a guide is found in his or her ability to meet you where you are understand how you got there lead you where you need to be Deidre LaNoue

What a Spiritual Guide has to Offer Lived familiarity with the complex shape and stages of spiritual unfolding Relentless recognition of the Spirit s movement to evoke a unique direction written in the depths of each heart A calm relaxed co listening posture able to discern what the Spirit may be asking at this point in the other s sacred journey

What a Spiritual Guide has to Offer Objective distance from our own and the seeker s drives needs and passions Gifts of quiet honesty compassion and radical respect for the person s uniqueness Determination to listen to the other person s own life and to the Spirit breathing or groaning in that life

What a Spiritual Guide has to Offer Ability to establish a relaxed meditative and contemplative atmosphere conducive to greater attentiveness to the Spirit A commitment to cultivating the art of NOT getting in the way of what God the Spirit is birthing in the person s life

The Basic Process of Spiritual Guidance 1 Listen carefully to what the other person says about his her 2 3 4 5 spiritual life Encourage their desire expressed or hinted to recognize and respond to God s presence in their life Suggest the practice of certain spiritual disciplines and practices for their own spiritual growth Challenge them to examine their lives honestly in the light of God s love Pray with and for them Adapted from Howard Rice The Pastor as Spiritual Guide

SOUL COMPANIONING Spiritual MENTORING

Spiritual Mentoring BASIC DEFINITION A one on one relationship between a mentor and a mentoree for the specific and definable development of a skill or an art FRED SMITH Mentoring that Matters

Spiritual Mentoring EXPANDED DEFINITION

Spiritual Mentoring EXPANDED DEFINITION The process whereby someone who is more experienced at a given skill teaches models and imparts essential knowledge skills and strategies to someone less experienced

Spiritual Mentoring RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Listening Loving Empowering

Spiritual Mentoring

Spiritual Mentoring Anderson Reese Model Keith R Anderson Randy D Reese Spiritual Mentoring

Spiritual Mentoring Anderson Reese Model A triadic relationship between a mentor mentoree and the Holy Spirit where the mentoree can discover through the already present action of God intimacy with God ultimate identity as a child of God and a unique voice for kingdom responsibility

Spiritual Mentoring DYNAMIC MOVEMENTS Attraction Relationship Responsiveness Accountability Empowerment

Spiritual Mentoring ATTRACTION Establishing a mentoring relationship

Spiritual Mentoring RELATIONSHIP Nurturing trust and intimacy

Spiritual Mentoring RESPONSIVENESS Sustaining a responsive spirit

Spiritual Mentoring ACCOUNTABILITY Refining growth through disciplines

Spiritual Mentoring EMPOWERMENT Facilitating the discovery of one s unique voice for kingdom service

Spiritual Mentor THE KEY ROLE The spiritual mentor is one who comes alongside another for a period of time brief or extended in partnership with the Holy Spirit for the explicit task of nurturing spiritual formation in the life of the mentoree

Spiritual Mentoring THE ULTIMATE GOAL EMPOWERMENT

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring RELATIONAL

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring SPIRITUAL

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring PURPOSIVE

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring PARTICIPATIVE

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring APPRAISIVE

Essential Elements Spiritual Mentoring INCLUSIVE

SOUL COMPANIONING Spiritual DIRECTION

Spiritual Direction The Crowning Jewel of the Entire Soul Care Enterprise

Spiritual Direction The recovery of the lost jewel in the crown of Christian soul care Gary Moon and David G Benner Spiritual Direction and the Care of Souls

Spiritual Direction DEFINITION A one with one companioning relationship directed towards one s relationship with God

Spiritual Direction DEFINITION Spiritual direction is direction given to people in their relationship with God Henri Nouwen Spiritual Direction Worship

Spiritual Direction TWO MAIN CATEGORIES INFORMAL FORMAL

Spiritual Direction VARIOUS TYPES General Direction Group Direction One with one Direction Hidden Direction Inner Direction

Spiritual Direction VARIED ASPECTS Lifestyle Direction Personal Issues Direction Ministry Direction

Spiritual Direction TWO FOLD THRUST PRAYER DISCERNMENT

Adapted from the Spirituality Center Archdiocese of Los Angeles Spiritual Direction BASIC ASSUMPTIONS God s love includes and seeks the best for every person God desires and seeks to communicate to his people Patient listening is key to a helpful relationship The stress of change is a normal component of growth In the spiritual life we never arrive