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Feral Feline Literary Magazine Issue 2 Forbidden Fall November 2022

The Feral Feline Team Co Editors in Chief Mary Binninger Sydney Shaffer Izzy Murphy Poetry Editors Willow Kang Liew Bei Savannah Meyer Fiction Editors Ariel Moscat Willow Kang Liew Bei Savannah Meyer Non Fiction Editors Sydney Shaffer Savannah Meyer Willow Kang Liew Bei Visual Arts Editors Layout Design Sam Roppola Chiara Bagatta Vic Bongiovanni Mary Binninger Letter from the Editors Dear Readers We are so excited to welcome you into Issue 2 Forbidden Fall The season of autumn is my favorite season because I am a huge lover of Halloween and the cooler weather I love Halloween because not only is it fun to dress up but you get a chance to walk in someone else s shoes for a day I want to thank all of our contributors this magazine wouldn t even be possible if it weren t for all of your wonderful submissions This issue is a lot longer than Issue 1 seeing as we ve garnered a lot more submissions than we did the first time around I really hope you ll stay and read until the end because there are so many great pieces in this issue that deserve to be read and seen I am so thankful that I get to help curate this magazine for you all it has really been a dream come true Mary Binninger Each time I get to look through submissions and see all of your beautiful pieces I remember exactly why I love doing what I do Feral Feline is so special and I am so happy to give your pieces a home with us Forbidden Fall was an idea that our contributors took and ran with in every artistic way possible This issue is spooky fun cozy and all things Halloween fall Thank you for always taking this journey with us and I CANNOT wait for the next issue but for now enjoy this one just as much as we editors do Sydney Shaffer Forbidden things often only haunt our dreams but for this issue of Feral Feline we wanted to give the Forbidden a chance to grace the page We are so excited for everyone to see the amazing work our contributors have put into this issue This fall let us all explore our most forbidden desires and hopes through the visual and written art that has been painstakingly curated for this issue Everyone has something secret inside that is aching to be expressed and this issue exists to give those secrets a place to shine We hope you enjoy this very special issue Go forth and enjoy the Forbidden and Feral Izzy Murphy

Table of Contents Contributors 12 Feral Feline s Astrological Activity Sydney Shaffer 25 Self Portrait of 3 A M as an Emotion Sydney Shaffer 16 Spellbound Paige Short 26 Bridal Cave Annabelle Sigmond 17 We Three Flames Millie Godwin 27 sorrowful sanctification Mari Pizzini 18 Fleeting Autumn Colors Tinamarie Cox Scarecrows of Peddlers Village 1 AJ Natilla 28 veins Micah McCutchan 20 You Caught Odera Igwe 21 Wednesday s Wedding Millie Godwin 22 Jack Be Littles Mary Binninger 23 Fooling Around Angela Patera 24 Raven Irina Novikova 29 Take it Odera Igwe 30 Sacred Place Bhavika Sachan 32 Toiled Troubled Odera Igwe 33 Waking the Witch Tony Gambino 38 Untitled 4 Tara Tucker 39 All Downhill From Here Logan Prude

40 Monster Mashup Olive VanBuskirk 52 Scumbody Shaurya Pathania 66 Devour the World Alise Versella 82 Rabbit Irina Novikova 42 Bewitched Paige Short 53 Free Spirit Odera Igwe 67 Death by Screens Rita Moyo 83 Hopefully Probably Boston Chandler 43 absinthe Sarah Butkovic 54 Negative Thoughts Bruce Puell 89 Yesterday s Delight Christina Lynn Lambert 44 Grim Keeper Abigail Haven 56 Hold Me Abigail Haven 68 Untitled 1 Tara Tucker Drugs and Wars Bhavika Sachan 45 Steel Meets the Rushing River Christina Lynn Lambert 57 Patchwork Heart Aimee McLaughlin 44 Reflection Bhavika Sachan 58 When The Party Is Over Damian Rucci 47 Black Fox Irina Novikova 59 Dog Dayze Olive VanBuskirk 48 Moon Spirit Paige Short Lunar Love Chris Dorian 60 Scarecrows of Peddlers Village 2 AJ Natilla 49 the vagabond Sarah Butkovic 50 Simon Maria Davila 51 Smoke Rising Lucy Lauder 61 death defy Sarah Butkovic 62 Mold Moth Annabelle Sigmond Happy Halloweenie Mr Ghellini Ber Davis 66 Glasswork Demon Justin Charles 90 WEDLOCK Ruchi Acharya 70 Mouth Forest Annabelle Sigmond Flying Ponies Zoe Harr 92 Lichen String Annabelle Sigmond 75 Ghost Kitties Mary Binninger Autumn Toad Paige Short 76 Another Skeleton to Step Over Damian Rucci 77 Untitled 3 Tara Tucker 78 Untitled 2 Tara Tucker 79 Overwhelmed Bruce Puell 80 You Shaurya Pathania Cover

Forbidden Fall

Feral Feline s Astrological Activity Curated by Sydney Shaffer In this section we have included some famous writers and poets along with their astrological sign Find the writer who you share a sign with maybe you even have the same birthday as them This is a fun and cool way to be introduced to new writers you haven t read before We hope you enjoy

Virgo Stephen King Novelist September 21 1947 Influential Works The Shining Mary Shelley Novelist August 30 1797 Influential Works Frankenstein Libra Oscar Wilde Poet Playwright Novelist October 16 1854 Influential Works The Picture of Dorian Gray T S Eliot Poet September 26 1888 Influential Works The Wasteland Scorpio Sylvia Plath Poet October 27 1932 Influential Works Lady Lazarus Anne Sexton Poet November 9 1928 Influential Works Her Kind Sagittarius Emily Dickinson Poet December 10 1830 Influential Works Because I could not stop for Death Jane Austen Novelist December 16 1775 Influential Works Pride and Prejudice 14 Capricorn Edgar Allan Poe Writer Poet January 19 1809 Influential Works The Raven Our very own editor in chief s Mary Binninger Novelist Poet January 13 2000 Izzy Murphy Novelist Poet January 12 1999 Aquarius Virginia Woolf Novelist Essayist January 25 1882 Influential Works Mrs Dalloway Our very own editor in chief Sydney Shaffer Poet Novelist January 28 1998 Pisces Jack Kerouac Novelist Poet March 12 1922 Influential Works On the Road W H Auden Poet February 21 1907 Influential Works Funeral Blues Share on your Instagram story and let us know which famous writer you share a sign or a birthday with Tag us at feralfelineliterary We d love to hear from you 15

We Three Flames Millie Godwin Our love is like a flame taking to a wick Lay the match against it tempt it to catch caress be careful But you must play with fire to make an atmosphere Oh there she is I watch her dance alone swaying soft serene in trails of satin red phosphorescent blue smooth sickly yellow She makes my heart melt overflowing through my mouth coating my throat and tongue white Vanilla sweet and cinnamon spice Oh there she is A beacon of what could ve been My lonely old flame I want to reach out and touch her I want to run my fingers through those tendrils of smoked hair I want to watch those fingers swell Love and bone seeping away from BuBbLiNg flesh I want her to consume me Make my lungs heave And my chest tight Bitter apple and sugar dusted cherry 16 17

Fleeting Autumn Colors Tinamarie Cox I follow the autumn leaves in the cool breeze drifting falling rotting with my mother s debris Another small piece of the cycle spinning echoing continuing on and losing vibrancy But I want more than autumn leaves so I stop my decay Paused in the season of Death I decide I will be reborn become something new In spring my bud explodes and the trees do not recognize me 18 19

Wednesday s Wedding Millie Godwin The bride in black has been bound to a tapestry husband falling apart at the seams she stitched The tears worsen the more she tugs at loose ends Tears fill the well of her hollow eyes She s bound to be betrothed again To be a part of this wedding of woe to be a part of the veil of lies over his eyes that tears any hope of happiness from her It s bound to end but they re blissfully bound She clings to her now patchwork husband A part of the furniture The bride remains ignorant to tears 20 21

Jack Be Littles Mary Binninger I long for the summer my father and I planted seeds upstate and forgot what they were We speculated them to be watermelons but come months later we found them to be tiny pumpkins the kind that d fit perfectly in the palm of your hand much too small for carving Soon October was among us and we sat out on East 89th street and sold them for 2 a piece We made maybe 8 but who cares We were proud of our tiny pumpkins whether we sold them or not They lasted months before they began to rot To me they represent the way love blooms in unexpected places even when you forget 22

Self Portrait of 3 a m as an Emotion Sydney Shaffer Late in the night I am sprawled out on a dark brown window nook The rain comes down heavy and loud through the stained glass panels I dart my eyes towards the stairs as they begin to creak but no footsteps are present I peel my legs off of the cushions and push myself up on my feet Walking in sync with the pitter patter I peak around the corner of the spiral stairs The ceiling is so high it resembles the sky The dark clouds are painted so perfectly A musky scent floats through the air Victorian arm chairs cover each corner of the room Nothing will survive this place I can feel it come alive as the clock strikes midnight Somehow I know that I am not alone 25

Sorrowful Sanctification Mari Pizzini decay decay decay deepens and decimates the ground and soul each season but to fall fall fall forward toward frostbitten fingers is a risk I m willing to take to enjoy the sanctified season of sorrow we wait for 27

Veins Micah McCutchan pressure building in my veins waiting for your absence to split them open to spill my love all over the kitchen floor leaving me to clean up your mess to stitch up my own wounds i let you tear my heart out of my chest keep it for yourself i watched you split yourself open make space beneath your ribs for it right next to yours so our arteries could pump the same beautiful blood now it lies trapped behind your chest bones no longer mine my neat bundle of flesh now an extension of you that taunts me from behind a locked door for which i have somehow lost the keys hearts don t regenerate so now i am a thief an amateur surgeon stealing other girls hearts recklessly suturing them into the gaping hole that rests below my collarbones but none fits right i reluctantly return each to their rightful owners each a little more damaged than when it was given to me slowly i become an anemic hollow shell of my former myself my body protests my wretched habit my ribcage cries out from being wrenched open 28 29

Sacred Place Bhavika Sachan The incense of sandalwood in a filtered world A glowing ember that smoulders As it flickers out into A smokey teary Eye Drowning the black stone in pure milk Amidst the scented garlands red and white The ruffle of feathers drenched in blood Who was it today the snake Conjuring a barren blue Rising from the green heart of an Island A sheet of cold company Caressing the Big Black Succumbed to the sucking calf Who was it today the holy cow Sheer pain I could hear it tear My faith Turns into fear Joining my hands I close my eyes Hide my face behind the veils As He does things under my bow Who was it today God Screams hidden in spells Unregistered claim over what transpires Behind the nuptial rites What ways to communicate with Him Who brought me To a land of faith 30 A roof to my head Blessing to my Begging shawl Who was it today Nameless It grew big as Soft touches and beckoning On the Black continue To harass the calm of my soul How long must it go on And it jerked Inconsolable pain Hard and harder it gets Disfigured disgusting Sticky fluids Red green and dark brown Protruding through the Black rose behind my bow Who was it today oh God I am to love this This unknown A slow burst a union Sought after unwanted For all the groans and moans I shed For all the dusks I worshipped you For all the milk drained unto you Sacredly I am yet to Let it suck life out of me As it continues to grow within On my bosom Over my shoulders Shredding crushing stranglehold My tear my Womb Me I wonder Who will it be today oh Love 31

Waking The Witch Tony Gambino Within the dark woods of Salem Massachusetts two young men walk along a heavily plant covered path the setting sunlight barely peeking through the trees This is a bad idea Nic says nervously Quit being so pessimistic This one will be a zinc I just know it Jay responds You said that last time and we got arrested How was I to know that place was wired tapped The big Keep Out sign didn t give it away Ahh all formality All bark no bite type of thing Uh huh Well tell that to the lawyer bill the rent bill the heating bill the water bill Yeah yeah yeah We re here so let s just get to work Ay ya captain Nic Santos says as he carefully slides through a large rusted gate following behind his best friend Jay Milesburg both making sure the equipment they are carrying a camera on Nic and a small microphone amplifier combo on Jay is carefully handled as they walk through As the two twenty somethings safely make it through the gate Nic s eyes widen as he sees that in front of him is an old decrepit run down mansion that looks like it hasn t seen the light of day in decades While Nic continues to take in the scenery Jay takes out a black pad locked notebook from his back pocket and opens it to read up on a certain section of notes notes on a set of locations the pair have been visiting as part of their web series Hunting the Unknown Okay so yeah okay mention that Jay mutters to himself while Nic continues to look around along with noticing the sunlight fading more by the second Uh Jay Jay turns his attention back to Nic as he finishes reviewing his notes He notices Nic s surprise leading him to smile Hmm Oh curiosity peaked huh Jay chuckles which slightly annoys Nic 32 33

Glad you re back on the team Now come on and start up the camera we re nearing start time As soon as the sun fully sets Nic and Jay come out to play Jay puts the notebook back in his pocket unclips the microphone from his side while Nic readies the camera Please stop saying that Nic says Killjoy You ready As Jay makes his final preparations Nic gives a countdown from three and as the camera begins recording Nic gives Jay the signal to begin Hello hello to all our fabulous ghouls and fiends Today is Saturday October 25th 2025 Welcome back to Hunting the Unknown I m Jay Milesburg and behind the lens is Nic Santos Give the word Nic Jay points to Nic for a comment only for Nic to sternly eye him Uh huh never mind then You ll have to excuse Nic he s still a little salty about what happened back in Vermont Again viewers I want to apologize again for that sudden cut off we experienced during our exploration of the old St Denis Prison Long story short what happened happened and we re moving forward And in this case to Salem Massachusetts which is no stranger to the weird or supernatural We re all aware of the numerous stories involving the Salem Witch Trials of the 1600s over 200 suspects with thirty found guilty of performing acts of the unknown and such Nineteen were executed but there have been rumors that not all of them were captured and prosecuted Off camera Nic carefully listens to Jay s monologue slowly becoming intrigued And that s where we find ourselves outside this certain location tonight As you see behind me is the former home of Estelle Mortagane a somewhat aristocrat who seemingly had it all But beneath the surface lies a secret that turns that legacy on its head Come on along viewers Jay turns around to make his way to the front door with Nic once again following his reluctance fading Once at the front 34 door Jay stops in his tracks to which Nic does the same Now dear viewers I must address that beyond this door lies factors very unsettling so please watch at your own risk Jay winks at the camera and Nic rolls his eyes Jay attempts to open the door only to find it stuck he tries to nudge and push the door open only for it to remain glued to its frame Jay looks at the camera and nervously smiles while Nic remains unsurprised Jay makes one final push on the door and it finally opens He catches himself from falling Jay saves face and smiles back at the camera You know what they say about push and pull Jay chuckles as Nic again rolls his eyes The two proceed to walk through the door As the two enter the home they find themselves in a large foyer which much like the outside of the home has become decrepit to the point of near collapse As Nic looks around the foyer he slowly becomes uneasy by the room s appearance Jay continues on with the show I welcome you friends to the inner sanctum of Mrs Mortagane Who is this woman you may ask According to some well researched sources this woman was the heir to an agricultural dynasty which during the time of the 1600 s essentially made her royalty However there was one thing that not all the money and power in the world could give her her daughter Melanie As Nic keeps the camera focused on Jay he begins to hear small creaks As with most cases from the 1600s unknown diseases ravaged families to their core and in the case of Mrs Mortagane she would lose Melanie to the then incurable Tuberculosis The creaks become more prominent increasingly catching Nic s attention Ms Mortagane wouldn t accept this though Through extensive research of old texts she would attempt something against the laws of nature I won t lie to you dear viewers but to hear that she did all this to bring back the daughter she lost really shows the strength of a parent s love 35

The creaks and cracks become more unstable now really concerning Nic Uh Jay Nic s words fall flat as Jay continues his monologue However though once she uttered an ancient phrase lost to man she would unknowingly bring about not only her own end but also something entirely worse As Jay becomes more intense with his speech the creaking and cracking start to become intense Nic begins to internally freak out Jay seriously Nic says Jay once again ignores Nic as he runs up to a staircase leading up to the upper levels What she thought was bringing her lovely child back to life was in reality awakening the curses of another world Warping and turning her into something that changed her family name from well respected to dreaded Something that drove fear into the heart of Salem She nearly burned this house to the ground And locked away the secrets of the Lost Salem Witch The creaks and cracks reach their crescendo causing Nic to finally break He runs up to Jay and unplugs the microphone from the mini amplifier The creaks and cracks start to seize What the hell man Jay says exasperated What do you mean what the hell What was that whole shtick Nic replies Uh good exposition You really gotta set it up if you wanna draw the people in And I was just getting to the good part Nic rubs his eyes and sighs in annoyance while Jay attempts to recalibrate his equipment Yeah well I think we better quit while we re ahead Nic turns around to leave Jay runs around to cut him off What do you mean We just got here Being in a creepy cracking house spouting out bull about the Salem Witch Trials that s not a good combo and I m not going down that hole further Nic declares Again Nic attempts to leave but Jay stops him Wait wait wait wait Are you kidding man After all the 36 places we ve been too this is the one you re gonna call quits on We literally snuck into an abandoned prison a few days ago Please don t bring that up Besides that place wasn t connected to freaking witchcraft you don t want to mess with those types of stories Even if they re real or not I m not taking the risk As Nic attempts to leave again Jay grabs him by the arm and the two begin arguing over each other As they fight the creaks and cracks return though their fighting drowns out the growing noise You re really gonna call it quits after all the hard work we ve done Oh hard work eh What has all of this done for us huh Aside from being broke panhandling for gas But before Nic could finish he starts hearing the brewing noise again He motions for Jay to stop talking so he can finally hear the noise as well What the Jay says quietly You hear that too right Nic says The two continue to listen and become uneasy as the noises become more prominent Okay uh I don t want to admit it but maybe leaving wouldn t be Before Jay could finish a large crack occurs which startles the two But before they could do anything the floor beneath Nic begins to rumble and in the next instant caves in under him RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH Nic falls down the now prominent hole screaming and hollering until fading into nothingness Jay hastily kneels down to the hole in an attempt to help but finds Nic already long gone in the deep black abyss Nic Nic you alright Nic Jay yells out only to receive no response greatly concerning him As Jay tries to regain his composure and take in his current situation he slowly looks around the foyer as the creaks and cracks begin to dissipate which ironically proves to be more eerie as to when they were loud The noises eventually cease leaving Jay in complete silence 37

Hello Jay sheepishly says receiving no response Then suddenly the front door behind him quickly shuts on its own leaving him in complete darkness All Downhill From Here Logan Prude That s the way everyday goes Birds chirping in the breeze The perfect cup of coffee The wind chill that makes you shiver But that s the thing about fall Fall turns into winter Winter makes my fingers burn And then it s all downhill from here So you light up a blunt I get high and throwback a fireball Just the way you showed me Kiss the earth that birthed you Enjoy the little moments we get to have here in this space Where color is everchanging and reckless And anything is possible 38 39

Absinthe Sarah Butkovic heavy footsteps descending wood and must that glistens like disco shards a selcouth door of unseen chambers guards like a lacquered passage troll with tree ring eyes and iron hinged hands who only bargains with locksmith lips a knob turns a lantern flickers musings and murmurings verge from within like cigarette breath swirling upwards souls leave bodies in serpentine ribbons as elixirs are downed with swift fury red giants ooze jasper hues and a parlor trick of jazz limbs and lashes burlesques across an ambient stage i pause fishbowl eyes meet my own yet there are two swords standing between us 43

Steel Meets the Rushing River Christina Lynn Lambert I m tall Taller in my heels I ve done my share of shrinking and my long limbs have had enough of being tucked into a smaller more palatable version that doesn t damage the fragile egos of those who want to tower over me and keep me safe from the havoc they create When I finally stretch I can be a reed that dances in the breeze or a machete that strikes through the tower that doesn t protect me Steel meets the rushing river in harmony 44 45

Reflection Bhavika Sachan a figure strips me bare each night glaring at me through holes for eyes translucent fingers reach out clutching my arms fingers pushing through pulsating veins and dragging up the bloody trail now poisoning my throat choking my pain My arms lay flaccid as I let the fingers r o a m and s c r a p e my flesh and bone my blood and veins maybe wear it differently the nerve like thread that snaps at each pull the face that comes at last in front of me the becoming who shares my weary look a wounded and gory she my own reflection stares back at me they are ripping me apart I hear my skin tearing away a deboning of my heart and my gut disarray the salt in my tears sting the gaping wounds now pumping in the shortness of my breaths I force my eyes open the figure coalescing I watch it arrange my bones and wear my skin it tries to stitch it up and make a patchwork of my ripped flesh 46 47

The Vagabond Sarah Butkovic a tumbleweed through city streets a mess of black cologne a dandelion sprouting from stomped over concrete with both hands stretched out towards the night greedily he cusps the moon and drinks it for a saturated sugar high there s a shadow of a shinai behind him shrouding his weedy garden frame but he pays it no mind and continues to sing to his arachnids or any other beast that will listen Lunar Love Chris Dorian I love you When your moon is full and illuminates my soul Waxing and waning are terms reserved for reflection not my love Crescent and gibbous designate something incomplete not my love And when your moon is new and leaves me in the shadows I still love you 48 49

Smoke Rising Lucy Lauder 50 51

Scumbody Shaurya Pathania I ve been honoured as dust of deceit dirt of deceased sailed in seas flown in breeze and the travelled had to have You hate my existence have always hated it deep down you are afraid I don t leave and sickeningly stay haunt you with my menace Unfortunately You re not the only one not very special I m reborn in any struggle in any hassle Just when someone points out my secret affair within fingers and nails You act embarrassed cold blooded as if unhuman completely pale And even if you disown me I will be Free Roaming irresponsibly 52 53

54 55

Patchwork Heart Aimee McLaughlin Cautious now you tread lightly You walk you walk each footprint you cover with dead autumn leaves You know each step cannot be undone Scratching at your greyish heart a memory You run you run Dancing in the breeze shreds of your heart rain down As if they were those autumn leaves black and shriveled I catch each one and paint them purple yellow green And back on your heart they ll be sewn I will sew until my fingers bleed 56 57

When The Party Is Over when the party is over when all the love birds have coupled up When the party is over when all the bottles clink empty when all the ashtrays are filled when all the eager are now asleep we will stumble over the mounds of our friends huddled along the dirty doors of damnation we will search the tables for anything to keep the night going anything to keep our hope alive and we will stagger homebound to our studios as the only souls alive in God s country when all the songs have been sung when all the smiling faces have fallen solemn we will still be hurting we will be trying to survive Damian Rucci there are no saints awake at this hour there is no innocence left at 3am the devil plays his fiddle behind the moon our soundtrack of another milestone to oblivion the gurus who haunt this hallowed hour know nothing but sin but our hands aren t clean either we are match sticks burnt out heading to ash we were bright souls but we traded them to cum or to dance or to sing poesy at the graveyards of our own futures we are the moment and we will what we re looking for at another trashed out house or another broken down back porch until we forget what we re looking for and our shadows haunt the empty streets like specters desperate for a kiss from the sun 58 59

Death Defy Sarah Butkovic eden eyes of splendor masked by a moribund sheen you defy death by being death itself you take the thing that kills you and set it between your lips like a lilac in a crystalline vase verdant and freshly foraged it hangs not as death wish but an extension of the self a refusal to let catafalque crows signal an untimely end to anything other than a good time there s a defiance in embracing the act of being walking death with a heart sewn onto the chest pocket like a patchwork adornment to be all haunt and bone without a shred of gauntness creeping in you defy death in ways that amaze me in ways that make me believe you will never acquiesce to the slab of stone waiting patiently in a cemetery yet to know your name how jealous such a graveyard is to know that instead it is carved into a loving obelisk in the shape of my heart 61

Happy Halloweenie Mr Ghellini Ber Davis Ding dong That wretched sound blares through the house reverberating against the empty walls knocking relentlessly against my eardrums It is the eighth time this night and surely far from the last I stretch my legs far in front of me my knees begging me to stay seated with their anguished cracks I rub the inner corners of my eyes and hope the pressure of my fingers will find their way 62 inside numbing my brain for the night A self induced lobotomy Sighing I lift my aging body from my worn down leather recliner It maintains its indented shape as if I were still seated hoping to draw me back in I resist my dim gray eyes skimming over the oak wood table beside me A clownish orange and black bowl greets me Taunts me Crudely painted jack o lanterns and skeletons laughing at me with their permanent dastardly smiles I snag the bowl and begin my journey to the door Ding ding ding ding dong The bell sounds off again strained by the incessant pushing of the button Its assailants snicker their obscured shadows shifting from behind the front door s privacy glass Mr Ghellini Mr Ghellini Open up my tormentors shout their impatience permeating through the door and entering into the foyer I hear a slight or else added afterwards Hardly hushed cackling ensues Yeah yeah yeah I m comin I mutter the bowl shaking in my hand candy wrappers crinkling against each other I reach for the tarnished door knob before me gold paint dulled and exposing the silvery metallic beneath Creaking the door open I get a glimpse at the creatures lurking behind it There they all are The juvenile delinquents of Halloween night They greet me with their disguises A princess A vampire A masked magician A bunch of falsified bloodsucking con artists A cool air creeps into my home from behind them rustling through the fall kissed leaves The monsters let out an audible shiver and that is when I notice all the snot Dripping down from their nostrils the glisten of green piles up at the lip Their sniffles work to no avail The magician even makes an effort to wipe it away with their hand I shiver myself Trick or treat they exclaim in unison their eyes honing in on the candy bowl Their expectations and entitlement rise as they take in the sight of the chocolate bars all within an arm s reach I extend the bowl and wince as sticky slimy fingers inch 63

toward me and snake around the candy inside An infestation of ghoulish germs Booger picking finger sucking wedgie untucking germs They each take a bar and shove it into their goodie bags Under the impression that the transaction had been completed I begin to backstep my way from the door But yet their hands return Grabbing and shoving grabbing and shoving The greedy little gremlins Finally after four cycles they are satisfied Thank you Have a happy Halloweenie Mr Ghellini the pack shouts before running off into the night Letting out a bitter laugh I eagerly close the door and begin my retreat to my safe haven the eroded recliner I rub my eyes once more So much for the mind numbing Easing myself down to the seat my legs furl back into their preferred position Becoming one with the furniture yet again I lie back and think to myself Oh the horrid lengths one must go through to escape the devilish tricks of the night 64 65

Devour the World Alise Versella I have let myself be devoured As the cactus after dry rot The longhorn beetle and her larvae burrowing for food It is time to become the thing that does the devouring That which makes a wasteland of your body s landscape See I chose To make myself barren A desert where nothing blooms But that was never true A desert does bloom Flowers sprout juxtaposed to Saguaro barbs Prove I too am barbaric Towering and terrifyingly Beautiful You yearn for the ruby sweet fruit I produce My womb is emptied But oh god how my stomach is hungry To wrap my mouth around something And swallow it whole 66 67

Drugs Wars Bhavika Sachan Her warriors fight to disavow my existence a foreign element seeding in her body unwanted in her system an irregular mass of cells turning into rhythmic heartbeats but my mother s womb rejects me Inside is a haunted house a skeleton a ghost blood all over the walls shit moving hunger pangs killing me to get what they want but my mother feeds me treacherous warriors to weaken my heart She s doing her best I know this from the taste of anesthesia in her veins some extra pills to strengthen us But this war will be over soon her breasts are ready for me her soul bears my name and calls for me I will be one with her a piece within her soul while my crushed body returns to its roots Still born to rush to her side even if as nothing but flesh wrenching her heart Does she know from my thin fingers my tiny feet feeling for her how morbid my eyes are desperate for safety and warmth red rashes dance on my skin to grab the light of her unreal touch 68 69

Flying Ponies Zoe Harr When the air smells like gunpowder and lightning bugs the citizens of Euclid know that summer is approaching but when the carnival towers above the sun on its barren fairground fields summer s presence is confirmed When Aaron was ten he and his younger sister ate corndogs and cheese curds by the handful throwing up on the short car ride home Their father 70 said they were like dogs that ate their own shit then ran around the yard until they got sick Aaron s mother told him not to say shit in front of the kids His sister had moved to Chicago for college last August but Aaron never got out of town when he had graduated high school His friends stayed behind too entertaining themselves with late night trips to Sheetz for sodas and cigarettes or shooting practice in one of their families cornfields They had been repeat attendees of the annual carnival since they were twelve so the initial should we go conversation had long been forgotten Every year it was assumed they d pile into one of the boys rusty cars and spend the evening exploring rides and girls in low cut tank tops Two years ago Aaron absentmindedly bit a girl s tit while they fondled each other behind the facepaint tent When he bit down she yelped and pushed him away leaving him alone with the aftertaste of creamy skin on his tongue His friends made fun of him throughout the year until his buddy Ryan topped it the following summer when he peed on a girl s leg after drinking too much The Port a Potty s right there fucking idiot she apparently said before exiting the scene Aaron didn t mess around with high school girls like his friends did because it made him think of his sister His friends said they d fuck his sister if she wanted it Aaron always told them to shut up when they said that He couldn t help looking at them though the high school girls They had smiles that were wider than older girls legs that were thin and tanned like cowhide When they laughed it made Aaron feel like he swallowed a golf ball They laughed like they didn t have a care in the world other than things like summer reading requirements and growing cup sizes He rarely touched them but he always looked which was better than his friends A bunch of horny animals Aaron always thought when one of them resurfaced at the end of the night with hickies on his neck This particular summer was exciting for the boys because there was a new ride called Vortex that Aaron s friends were 71

dying to ride Aaron didn t like rollercoasters so while they waited in line he found himself wandering the games and food stands to kill time You re really bad at this said a small voice to Aaron s left A girl probably seventeen or eighteen was joined by a group of similarly dressed friends all of which were drinking from green and yellow plastic lemonade cups The girl who spoke before repeated You re really bad at this It s made to fail No one wins and they get our money He throws a dart and misses Or you re really bad The group giggled You try Aaron handed the girl a dart She passed him her lemonade and took one more sip from his hand He felt a twinge of pressure in his pants and hoped no one noticed The girl s eyes narrowed at the wall of balloons and her friends watched her with the same level of intensity Aaron felt like he was watching the scene from the outside He wanted to touch the exposed skin beneath the girl s shirt to make sure she was real She popped a bright blue balloon with ease and multicolored confetti exploded like a firework Yeah you re just bad she said Her friends giggled again The carnival worker asked what prize she wanted and she asked Aaron if she should choose a stuffed monkey or dog He said dog and she chose monkey What s your name he asked Claire Want another lemonade Sure Aaron didn t notice when her friends wandered off but he swore he heard them giggle when he put his hand on Claire s lower back and guided her towards the lemonade stand She forgot the monkey on the Balloon Burst counter 72 Despite her somewhat abrasive attitude which Aaron didn t turn away from she kissed like someone who had never kissed before Her tongue shyly poked around his mouth like she was apologizing taking her time to taste each bud after repeatedly asking for consent What about this one Let me try this one He liked that she smelled like french fries and cheap perfume it reminded him of an ex girlfriend one who worked at Steak n Shake in a goofy paper hat She snuck him a strawberry milkshake when he came in to visit her but made him pay her back when they broke up You didn t even pay for them Aaron had said She didn t argue but he paid her anyway Did you see those rides by the parking lot Claire asked Which ones The broken ones Where the construction trucks are He tangled his fingers in her hair and she pressed her open palms against his chest We should check them out Why She looked at him funny It s dark and private You re right She suggested the Anti Gravity ride the one where you press your back against the padded walls so the spinning doesn t throw you down Aaron didn t understand the mechanics of it She said she was visiting the carnival the day before with her friends and saw one of the walls was broken We can probably sneak in she said Aaron enthusiastically agreed Do you like to cuddle after sex Aaron asked She said she did and added Let me put on deodorant He thought she was funny He turned his back to her while she rustled through her backpack He didn t notice it until what felt like a bug bite on the back of his neck grew to a sting like fire He didn t say anything after the knife was through 73

after the knife was through a crack in his spinal cord which had been planned for as it would have likely been covered by screaming children rounding corners on the Tilt a Whirl or girlfriends being pinched by their boyfriends sticky fingers Claire had great aim a trait that was sure to have developed with her extensive history of practice but nevertheless she appreciated Aaron s skinny neck exposing the notches of his bones She was relieved that he didn t reflexively curl up or wiggle as they almost always do but rather he was quiet and still The little twitches in his legs and abdomen subsided after Claire completed the decapitation She cradled the head in her arms like a baby and drank from its faucet like a coconut Creating an opening by digging her nail into a pimple on his cheek Claire pinched off gummy bits from inside and sucked them off her fingers The aftertaste in her mouth of pink cotton candy sweetened the taste of Aaron s deep red blood Removing the scalp was like skinning an orange Claire kept the scalps after a thorough shampoo and condition to stuff the pillows on her bed The brain was soft like angel cake with a core like cauliflower stalk Once removed from the body it was tangy with unused knowledge and unimportant memories of commercial jingles and the favorite colors of all his friends Claire used the teeth to feed ducks at the pond by her house These idiots will eat anything she thought Like dessert the eyes were sour grapes and thin forehead skin was sweet jelly She didn t have use for the body after orgasm so it was left behind for officers and clean up crews to dismantle and devour The skull was clean and toothless She left it behind with its body Where are you Her friends asked Another text followed Going to funnel cake cart by ring toss meet you there Claire sucked on her thumbs and responded Cool i m starving 74 75

Another Skeleton To Step Over Damian Rucci Diogenes could never tell the difference between the bones of the slaves or of the kings and what makes me any different The stories I carry in the shadows of my bleeding heart aren t novel the cross I carry on my back is second hand I picked it up to see Missouri sunsets and rot I walk the asphalt via dolorosa looking to feed my habits my crown of thorns is a crown of jackals I m never at peace only when the moon hangs high and my memories play out in the shadows vignettes of a past I m not really sure of times when the breeze blew gentle on my back and laughter cured it all but I m still walking the houses I pass are monuments of joy I will never reach the people in the windows sit down for dinner they toast to another evening I look away I sing poesy and kick cans towards my undoing the prodigal son returned and nobody cared I sent myself to exile and came back a stray just another skeleton to step over another skeleton waiting to turn to dust 76 77

The Wolf Prowls Hunting For Her Heart Alise Versella Bow your head at the altar of my legs Pray with your lips to the vision of my flesh Make me holy Despite my sins and selfishness I want to be selfish and relish This power I suddenly hold To bring a man to his knees for me I m emptying The closets of old skeletons Digging up the garden graves and planting Bulbs instead For once I will make something grow here Something the likes of you could feast from The others were right to leave me The shadow of my wolf was always right behind me Jaw wide and snapping They were terrified to be devoured Those men they didn t know how to be devout What it is to offer oneself to the bite of the heart The glistening saliva pouring from the beast s glorious mouth I will rechristen you Baptized by claw and teeth A mercy kill on the forest floor tear you free from the prison of limb and meat If they should go for the most vulnerable part of the flank aim for their pound of your skin I would take on the bows and the arrows the bullet and cross I would turn and tear The hunters apart 78 79

You Shaurya Pathania I cut my feet I couldn t go through but still I walked towards you I slaughtered my arms to stop this crawling but still I wriggled towards you I plucked my eyeballs out and they revolved like planets to chase the dark view towards you I stabbed my chest then cooked my heart stew still the blood got pumped towards you at last I lit myself and burnt it hurt and I turned into dirt but my ashes flew towards you 81

Hopefully Probably Boston Chandler Her labor was ghastly seventy eight hours of labor and ten hours of pushing yielding nine babies The Nonamom as she was referred to in all the tabloids that were still magically in print beside the self check outs had an experience and a labor that made me fear having children Reading her story and watching her interviews finding out that she lost one child three weeks after giving birth but they still called her the Nonamom made me sad The cover story is a check in on how the Nonamom is doing now that her children are all seven years old Now that we may have forgotten about her I went out to get a bag of candy to put outside my apartment door I won t be home for Halloween but there might be kiddos who come by to trick or treat I have purple twinkle lights around my door to show that I m embracing the season When I was trick or treating if the house didn t have enough decorations up we couldn t go there this house was obviously not friendly with the holiday and not welcoming trick or treaters I was going on a date with a boy who I knew from undergrad but didn t connect with for no real reason He got a degree in business and I got a degree in literature I wanted to be an editor but I was currently a recruiter for an insurance company My heights too withering to achieve the top Lars commented on a post from my public social media and invited me to the roller rink beside the center for kids with gaming addictions They were doing a Halloween themed disco and the rink would be 21 from 10 PM to 2 AM They d booked a psychic and they got an event liquor license so they could serve alcohol with chips of dry ice inside to make them fog like witch s brew I agreed I loved all things spooky horror and true crime Learning about crimes actually made me feel safe like I was studying for how to make sure none of those unfortunate things 83

happened to me My friends and I have a group chat called Spooky Seattle and in it we post about reported break ins murders robberies and this time of year it was quite active A specific rumor went around every year there was a serial killer targeting women in their late 20 s early 30 s the age always seemed to get older as I did I would always be the correct age for slaughter The police don t want to cause panic give rise to copycat killers or give the killer the fame of being on the news so the killings hadn t been made public The real thing we should have hinged on was that the police were lying about the existence of a serial killer The post goes on to say that girls should never walk alone Everyone gets very scared by this every year until it is debunked a few days before Halloween so that everyone can go out and get drunk with however many people they want I dress Halloween for the disco Black tights glow in the dark press on nails a cat eye black lipstick and an oversized orange sweatshirt with a jack o lamp face on it I wear two pairs of socks so I can easily shed the ones that pressed against the rented sole of the skate socks that I can just throw away after use Lars texts me that he is downstairs I take out my candy bowl and set it outside with a note that reads Happy Halloween Please take one It is already dark at 6 PM this time of year but my nails are glowing me into existence from the dark ten floating almonds until Lars can make out the orange of my sweater He leaned against his car like a COOL GUY and he is also dressed Halloween which for guys is usually all black with a hockey mask The plastic mask is shifted to the side the dehiscence of two faces beside his ear It s a real one he said My little brother plays hockey Good I m glad that s the reason it s real and you aren t a depraved murderer Have you skated before He held the car door open for me a black Ford Taurus low to 84 the ground and long a boat of a car really Inside it smells like Big Red gum which I now notice he is chewing I have when I was a kid He slams the door once I m tucked inside The rink is only twenty minutes away The center for gaming addictions looks barren beside the strobing lights and vibrations of the bass bouncing outward from the rink I used to come here a lot with my mom and brother I said The rink No the center my brother was crazy about his games Like meltdowns and breaking controllers when he lost Now kids spend their parents money on surprise boxes like they are at a blackjack table hit me over and over again People can get addicted to anything he says I think this is a ridiculous and stupid thing to say but ignore him Maybe I ve been afraid of having children for a long time A smart phone scrying booth was set up outside near the heat lamp There are multicolored fabrics and silks draped over the tent so it feels more authentic more traveling circus It cost five dollars and there was a line but on Halloween psychics are more accurate aren t they Let s do that I said Lars stood in line with me but expressed no interest in having his phone connect to spirits on the other side What is your favorite movie He asked The Thing I said the original Thing What about you It s hard to choose a favorite Whenever anyone said that I thought they were incredibly boring It s not hard to choose a favorite it s not hard to make a choice I imagined myself dating Lars and endlessly scrolling through movies and shows never actually picking anything for hours and then going to bed never going on a date because he can t choose where to eat but he is tired of eating at my favorite Thai place I also like Silence of the Lambs I like The Shining horror is 85

my favorite genre any time of the year You must feel very safe to enjoy such movies he said He hadn t meant it to sound so eerie Are you into True Crime too Yes I said getting ready for him to bring up a niche murder that happened in 1899 that may be related to a murder in 1907 I find true crime disrespectful to the dead actually He tied me to a sandbag instead Is knowing them only for how they died better than not knowing they existed Besides it could help save someone someday My phone was a shrine to true crime podcasts the victims and the perpetrators The morbid curiosity becoming an obsessive love hate intrigue the same kind of pull that gets people up at 2 AM looking at the final supermoon of the year It was our turn the inside of the tent smelled like patchouli and the psychic had her business cards in front of an amethyst cathedral Psychic Sarah a middle aged drag queen with a black and gold pashmina around her shoulders Welcome I m Psychic Sarah I feel a presence coming from you She s speaking to me and I am enraptured by her Lars disappears I slide her my phone She stares at it she s looking past it and into it at the same time I m getting a feminine energy she s saying her name is Mabel does that mean anything to you I had just listened to a podcast about a girl named Mabel who was murdered by her own mother but I didn t bring that up because I wanted to test her abilities What happened to her I asked It s quite sad I know that I m seeing a lake I feel that my throat is closing up She had been drowned I feel another feminine energy This one is maternal but also malevolent Mabel wants to thank you for listening to her story 86 Wow I was thrilled Thank you can I say something to her The portal is open dear I hate my mother too The heat in the rink is grisly compared to the crisp fall air outside Lars and I are still far away when we go inside He mentions that Mable s Murder is one of the most popular episodes of the most popular true crime podcast and Psychic Sarah probably said that same stuff to all of us But you don t know The place is overrun with children in onesies and teenagers also in onesies but the leotard kind not the cute tiger kind We rent skates but after a few circles my ankles begin to hurt and I make my way to the arcade side of things The light wheel arcade game neon pink blue green and something that might be yellow or might be orange The clear plastic dome atop it makes it feel more like a scientific incubator the neon tubes working to power the core inside something important like a life It s my favorite because it still only costs one token it s easy and a kid was having a tantrum in front of the ski ball machine Lars joins me mid game Are you having a good time He asks Yeah I said but my eyes were fixed on the blinking lights of the machine going around and around I tap the button just off Fuck I said Am I having a good time We re too old for this Last time I hit the button completely off only one bulb away from the green section I can see how this is addicting and frustrating and upsetting feeling like you pressed the button at exactly the right time and the machine spits out a piddly two tickets I told myself it was my last try so I tear myself away from the machine Monster Mash came on and the people eating or playing games rolled into the rink 87

It s almost 21 this is the last song for kids to skate to And by the grace of God I saw her The Nonamom and her gaggle of now seven year old children all eight of them crossing the arcade with ribbons of prize tickets All of them were in a single color a rainbow of a family on Halloween night Nonamom laughing the labor years behind her and the seven children pooling their tickets so they could get the PS5 in the prize room That s the Nonamom I shout and I look at Lars trying to connect with him over this dazzling display of ROY G BIV Who is that This date is fucking over I said What I rolled away from him and joined the rotating masses on the smooth putty colored floor the spotlights following us I am scared to bring children into this world and rightfully so The world s resources are finite there will come a time when someone orders the last pumpkin spice latte ever when the last pumpkin on earth will blossom and die when the last baby is born I won t be here for that hopefully probably My period came while I was rolling on the rink It appears on my pumpkin sweatshirt near the mouth No one notices as I free bleed one more lap return my skates toss my socks and take the bus home The host to only my living cells I take my empty bowl of candy inside clean up my crotch get into pajamas ready to watch the latest docuseries on Ted Bundy lock the doors unfriend Lars and scroll on my phone for hours before I manage to sleep 88 Yesterday s Delight Christina Lynn Lambert Yesterday s delight grows teeth and shifts into a callous skin bristling with chaos Screams choke the air seeping into the fabric of the future 89

Wedlock Ruchi Acharya Flickering flames rage the untitled claims of merriment her torn out stockings scratch marked thighs tells of abandon Wild eyed at her beloved s abuse lies and addicted sins Herein the connubial bliss with heart lock s keys The world spins bumpkin s doubled chin and public grin made the holy bride feel chagrin Rage of an endless fire reduce seduce and bruise lays into debris and ruins Backstabbed by her beau smells every twilight a new perfume Why the edge of the knife so sharp and blunt Why does this husband s affair leave me so stunned A catastrophic night sweeps by she entangles herself from threads of silence like a devastating tornado or flooding sea shore a burning forest fire or a shaking earthquake she arrives I am the apocalypse says she emerging from beneath the memory s archive Alas Bloody warnings almighty eulogies there stood a widow dressed in black shedding croc s tears trouncing her utmost fear aback clack counter attack She wins wine glasses ding no more dejected clings There she stood by the end of the aisle a new fangled bride in her white gown Nothing changes for her in this haunting suburban ghost town with no regrets and no frets she smiles with a velvety kiss ring o bells a holy wedlock Here comes another Mr Lynd unaware of his fate into the spider s nest an aftershock Traumatized mind ripping her soul apart I thought marriage was meant to be an art of handcraft yet the years sway by white gown settled in dust awry The heavy breaths swirl across the pink bars of empty cradle period cramping abdominal and rise of undefined hatred accrual 90 91