Return to flip book view

ETHAN BENSON Fiction Portfolio Spring 2021

Hi my name is Ethan Benson Thank you for reading through my portfolio I am a young artist musician from Wichita KS I have dedicated my life to creating and enjoying art Since I was six years old I have been learning the guitar When I was fifteen I joined the band I am still playing in today called Peters 1914 While we haven t sold albums in record numbers we do enjoy playing with each other and sharing our music through live performances in our local scene I have branched out of music and started challenging myself through writing storytelling and creating more tangible art Over this semester I have gained so much knowledge and of course there is still so much more to be had I considered myself an artist but had never given writing a thought I had written lyrics for a few songs in our band but I never thought much of them I challenged myself by taking something I knew nothing about fiction and took a crack at it I learned how to create atmosphere story arches for characters settings tones and so much more I learned how to make a character feel authentic All of this started to translate into my music and inspired more lyrics and writing with the band I not only saw myself grow more as a writer but as an artist too I started to apply my readings and learnings in other places I completely fell in love The dynamic it gives me is empowering It is a feeling of creativity and clarity that I have never felt in my thirteen years as an artist writer This class and semester as a whole have taught me so much and always leave me wanting to learn more

I hope this feeling continues and I hope you enjoy the stories I have created Thank you for your interest and please I am the one pointing the finger tip your bartenders

We both knew even five miles away you could see we were on track to the right place Traffic was not heavy the foot traffic was We scrambled to find a place to park The music could be heard no matter where you were The smell was musty but inviting We got out of the car and started to get our goods blankets and tents ready Waves of smoke coming to our faces like a cold breeze Footprints in every direction making it impossible to know where to go We moved forward towards the stage but we were still plenty far from it People sleeping on their loved ones and others dancing around them I was shocked to see so many people for the same thing We start to set up our spot as multiple people approach us asking if we want to buy their drugs or cigarettes As we started to get comfortable with the dirt and smoke blowing on our faces the music pressed on We ended the night cooking for a few people we met The smell of barbeque and feet was so overwhelming people could care less about the smells or trash that was widespread across the field With the tabs of paper on their tong and mushrooms in their stomach the stench and trash were the least of their worries We wake up early to beat the others in trying to find food and water More and more people started to come filling in the spots that were once walkways or places to dance The music seemed louder and the crowd seemed bigger I think it was not the music that got louder but the people in the crowd becoming less sober We came across many different people while staying close to each other We have never seen so many people in one place it was daunting but beautiful The curve and shape of Earth could be seen from the back of the crowd but no matter where you stood the music could still be heard miles away Day two ends on a high note with some great bands and closer friends The tent is wet and soggy by sunrise The ground is filled with mud and people are getting up to leave their camps It was gross wet humid foggy and all the other horrible things mother nature could throw We cleaned our spot and said our goodbyes telling everyone we would see them again next year

Ethan Benson Ryan Doom ENG_2261_OL_45 3 15 2021 War Pigs Well he had a broken nose before he even started Another person said I heard it was that girl he was hanging out with John whispered As soon as this is done were gonna find that fucker I hesitated and replied Why not have peace for one day I attend more funerals than I do meetings these days John turned his head Waiting for my mind to change He said If you ain t goin Then I am Aint no way you gon survive that I ll have to pay for two funerals in one week John said Then come with me I can t John you know damn well if we make our move tonight that they ll be ready Huh You think we can just waltz right in blast our guns off and make em run like little pigs You think Darren would want us to risk our lives like he did Get your mind outtah that shithole and be thankful were still here He replied with a scolding face while his hands reached for his hat to cover it

We know they all deserve the worst They will get their punishment John We will give them hell Ain t no doubt bout that right John scoffs Look today ain t that the day to do it Why is that Cuz they gon be ready huh Exactly I said John were gonna go home to our families and take a rest Tomorah morning well get up bright and early meet Wilson at the Winery John interrupted We already got Wilson bringing us arms Mhm he gon meet us there Once we get back into town I want you busting down doors for lot money W ill get a truck No tags no insurance no nothun John said What about drop off If I ain t gonna be there who gon make sure it gets done right You shouldn t have to worry about that We got guys coming in from all sorts of fuckin places With how many hands I got comin I won t be surprised if we can t find something to do John said Righ t I don t see anyone right now I don t see Wilson here What about Taylor Chuck Dennis Adam I told em to book it you think they gon let one of us suffer John this is a sign of war and it is only the beginning John said Well excuse me if I seem a bit worried

You know what they say when ya worryin bout something Can you do something about it No Then don t worry about it John said And if I can Then do something about it

Writing Exercise Elephant in the Room We waited for an hour before we got a response We were ready to go while they told us it was going to be an hour before they got there I wondered what was taking so long I had an hour to figure that mystery out We went ahead and scoped out the whole area Checked for any cameras cops bystanders everything We had to make sure this would go smoothly Do you think they just broke down babe I don t know I am sure they ll tell us why They better babe I d ask about a discount for the hour long wait Right and we ll get a free dessert the next time we come in She chuckled as she lit her cigarette with my matches I was not a smoker but asked for one too There are a lot of ways to kill time but nothing better than knocking two singing birds with one cigarette I hoped to see them coming over the hill Their headlights beaming over us but it was dark It stayed that way too Not a single street lamp in sight Babe what if it doesn t happen It will Yeah yeah but if it doesn t We ll find a way We were quickly blinded by the headlights of a truck that slowly pulled into the parking stall next to us We waited for one of them to get out I unlock my door and allow the man to get in My palms were slipping from the steering wheel as my knuckles became whiter The sensations and feelings started to overwhelm me I wasn t moving a muscle by the time I got in the car I waited for him to say the first word You ready Yeah yeah hold on STOP Is it in the glove box Yes Have her reach for it then

She reached towards the glove box as I turned around to see if he was ready There wasn t a briefcase full of cash I was instead welcomed by the barrel of an M1911 pistol that was ready to take our lives in an instant Get it out now He said She was still fumbling through the assortment of fast food napkins and receipt paper I had crumpled up As she turned around I immediately started to question the man Do you realize who will come after you I am a well aware kid you ain t got no place in this business anymore He said Right like you get to control what Jeffey does Who As far as I m concerned as of an hour ago you ve been unemployed He said My heart shattered into bits I did not react If I did anything now I would be as good as Jeffey and anyone else who told him off I sat in silence waiting for his next move I lit another cigarette realizing how much more time I have to kill

Ethan Benson Ryan Doom Fiction Writing 03 01 2021 Word Count 1795 86 Buns I am rushing out the door grabbing the keys wallet and tall orange soda before telling my kids good morning and telling my wife I love her I stop for a second and pat every pocket I have and ensure each one has something in it I get out the door into the driveway and start the truck I could tell the weather had no plans of getting colder I rush into the sticky leather seats and carefully buckle myself in before burning myself with the buckle I turn the keys and start looking over my shoulder to be on my way The radio was playing Carrie Underwood but I wasn t too bothered to change it I arrive to the storage unit and whisper under my breath please be ok please be ok and fumble through my keys to find the right one I snag the lock loose and pull the garage door up making a viciously loud sound that would wake anyone feeling tired it looks great I said as I was sipping from my orange soda I start pacing back and forth wondering how much time we will have Thoughts were racing through my mind do we have everything we need Did I set the temperatures correctly

As I check my mental list George arrives He said Is everything is ready to go Get the gas cans out of my truck and let s fill that generator The smell protruding onto my hands and feet making me smell like a mechanic or gas station clerk George yells at me MARTIN I AM GONNA START HEADING TO THE PARK I sigh and reply heard The food truck was not something you wanted to drive every day It was big loud and had an exhaust drone that made you feel like you were piloting an A 10 fighter jet I lose George by the time I leave the storage unit and start the journey for our day in paradise We arrive at our Saturday location It is a nice park with a few hotels venues and hubs all in the surrounding area The tree leaves were whooshing around the wind the grass had that fresh cut smell like a middle class neighborhood does on a Sunday George tells me hey stop taking in the air and start prepping our meat and salads I get to work realizing how far behind we are George starts talking about his experience at the new diner across the street from the tattoo parlor downtown It was pure rubbish the service was awful and they didn t even have a full menu I said George you know that the first week of open business is the toughest are you going to wait awhile and try them again

He said Martin if there is one thing I learned in this industry it doesn t matter how long you been open if yall don t got the food and menu ready for the dinner rush you may as well put up you re forlease sign early He chuckled as he sipped his gas station coffee and paced around the truck I said George come get the ice bags and fill our coolers up before they start melting He said Martin aren t I supposed to be bossing you around My patience was becoming slim But I assured myself we will do fine We were behind a half hour in prep and we had customers pulling into parking stalls and setting up their lawn chairs I said George please start getting the ice in the coolers before it starts melting Nothing happened I started to get sweaty and tired giving all my energy in trying to open the truck for business I could tell George did not want to be here today his attire made him look more like a customer ready to start digging into some food than a food truck owner trying to serve his customers I quickly finish the meat and start pouring ice As I am wondering when I can catch a break before the clock hits 11 A M The customers start to look around the menus wondering which one is worthy of their wallets and stomach George can tell Martin is still struggling to open and decides to give a hand I said Look who finally decided they were ready to work George looks eager to say something back His head becoming bigger while his ears become red As he was about to reply with a nasty comment someone approaches the window Hi Are you open yet

I replied Uhm well uhhh we might be abl George rudely interrupts me and says Of course What could I get for ya The man replies well you could move your truck to a different spot because this space occupies our emergency exit for the hotel George said We have been parked here the last two weekends how is this a problem now The man replies Sir if you move the truck forward just a few feet I am sure the manager will George stomps his feet out towards the front and interrupts him with a bursting tone and demeanor that even made me feel uncomfortable George said YOU TELL YOUR MANAGER IF THEY WANT MY TRUCK MOVED THEY CAN COME TELL ME THAT I can tell this morning will be a long one I start to cut the lettuce as George deals with the hotel manager I keep my cool as I see people lining up to the other trucks as we still have none I hear George coming back towards the truck with what looked like a stockbroker dressed for a meeting He explains the situation and shows him the route the hotel guests take when there is a fire or other related emergency George finally agrees to move the truck and we get our first customer What can I get for ya ma am George says

A number 2 please hold the beans Coming right up George said George starts preparing her drink as I am dressing her salad and ensuring everything looks picture perfect I hand it to the customer and walk back to prepping Thank you ma am come again George said as sweat was dripping from his nose I looked at George and said all the prep is done and we should be ready to go George says back ok be sure next time to be ready when we are supposed to be and looks back out the window I could tell George was in a mood today from the moment he left the storage unit I knew something was going to be different about today Something worse than normal I started to clean thing around me until George said something I have never heard him say give me an apron Martin I started to question him but as I turned around I noticed the long line starting at our truck I yelled with excitement you bet George let s get the show on the road We both fumble around each other trying to take orders and get the hot food out to the customers I yell out ticket orders as new ones are coming in Reaching towards the top shelf to get more buns and dressings I am in full force knocking one ticket out after the other ensuring everything is correct George keeps yelling back at me but I tune him out and keep my focus on the make line MARTIN WHEN IS TICKET 58 COMING he yells as I am finishing their order

20 seconds George Heard he says as he tells the guests to hang tight More and more people start coming over asking for our business cards and menu items George still being upset about the setup prep time creates a tension in the truck that even the customers could catch onto I yell at George to get me more buns from the bottom closet He looks back at me and says there isn t any buns I tell him your crazy how did you not stock the buns before we came out this weekend Martin I thought that was YOUR job you are the manager right I said back you are the owner of the truck right I think to myself they must be somewhere as George is yelling in fury while trying to maintain the customers patience Were going to have to take the sandwiches off the menu and run with the salads George He replied with a tone of a drill Sargent We will not be a salad bar we are a food truck He threw around the plates napkins and other utensils as he looked for the buns It was quite funny to watch but I knew we were in trouble if he did not find them Tell the customers the news Martin And cross the sandwiches off the menu too I did the walk of shame to the outside of the truck and started to cross menu items out as I heard sighs from the line as they dispersed We have waited in this line for 20 minutes one customer yelled as they picked up their chairs and coolers

We did not wait in this line for salads one lady said I walked back into the truck I looked at all the stabbed tickets and dirty spatulas and kitchen tools and started to wonder what it would be like if we did not have to 86 the buns The line that was as far as the eye could see and now it is just footprints and trash A little boy walked up and asked if we had anything to spare George was hesitant but I immediately made a little salad with the meat that we still had leftover and handed it to him He said Thanks Seems like every food truck here is out of something he hands us a 5 dollar bill and scurries off before we can even ask if he wants the change I looked back at George assuming I was going to get a speech so long I would be late coming home for dinner His face wasn t long and his ears weren t red He was staring out the window watching his customers scourer to find a food truck worth their while I said are you mad We just missed out on one of our biggest rushes in the truck so far George replied Ya know maybe if we start putting meat on those salads we won t have to carry sandwiches at all I stared at him while he stood in silence out the window I was waiting for a blow up for him to tell me it was my fault and clean up and go home He started chuckling and said well stop staring at me let s get this place cleaned up and get out of here

Ethan Benson Mr Doom ENG_2261 04 05 2021 Clock Out Please Jessie and I were about three miles away from the observation point The twisty mountain roads made for a spirited drive Jessie kept talking about the places we were going to travel to I thought her ideas were out there but I didn t mind it as it made the drive feel shorter Jessie said Should we go to Egypt or Africa first I think Africa would be great We could get a nice culture shock I am sure we will adjust quickly though don t you think babe I replied Well I think as long as I m not in this country I ll be good I could tell Jessie was excited but I was scared I watched the trees and half painted road marks whiz by as I drove further up the mountain There were not a lot of cars which was good Did not seem to have any cops hiding in bushes which was even better Before I could justify another thought Jessie started screaming and pointing She said Turn right turn right You re gonna miss it I pull into the dark driveway Zero cars in the lot and no one looking out of the amazing view

Jessie said Ash you are not gonna believe the view here I could stand up here for hours without getting bored I looked up and around the street poles looking for cameras As I got out of the car the wind hit my hair and tangled it up before I had a chance to ask Jessie for a hair tie I just left it down I walked along the sidewalks looking for fresh cigarette butts and any sign of someone being present Jessie said Babe stop lurking around and come check this out I walked over and noticed the binocular lens was shattered I said Well good thing we won t be here long right She replied Oh lighten up Were about to set off into the eastern hemisphere and live our best lives Why should we have to pout and be upset I said Well for starters Clayton is late Secondly I don t like the location It s almost too private It s like he doesn t want to risk a thing out here Jessie said Yeah but did he tell you he d be late No I ll send him a text Jessie skipped around while kicking rocks off the side of the mountain Watching them tumble down like a jar of marbles being poured down a staircase I cupped my hands to try and light my cigarette The wind was blowing out my lighter every time I ducked next to the car and got it lit I paced back and forth waiting for Clayton to say something back Every thought and scenario was playing out in my head The good ones and bad ones too My palms began to sweat as my anxiety took me over Clayton responds and tells me he s five minutes away My skin grew

goosebumps reading the text My retirement and goodbye to America were only five minutes away I checked to make sure the tabs were all there aligned and foiled correctly Jessie Clayton will be here any minute You wanna stay in the car for me She said Sure but if you re not out of his in three minutes I am coming for you and the money I chuckled and put the backpack around my shoulder The backpack had no weight to it but mentally it felt like a thousand pounds over my shoulder that wouldn t be leaving anytime soon Headlights start to seep through the mountain roads and trees The car rolled over the drive and made its way into the parking stall about two cars next to mine It was quiet as he came to a stop I could only notice the sound of the tires creaking and rubbing slowly across the rough pavement Clayton was never a flashy guy He drove an old Ford expedition that looked more like a grocery getter car than a drug dealer s car I took a long deep breath as my fingers curled under the door handle and swung it open This was it Half the job is over and in less than an hour I am clocking out and saying goodbye Clayton yells as I get in the car Ash It has been a long time my man You keeping the lady happy I replied Yes she ll be a lot happier once this is over with Clayton replied Oh I betcha Happy wife happy life right Is your dad still working at those labs You sure ya can t fetch some of those blue transformers

I replied Yes and no He still runs the place but ever since the opioid crisis hit they ve stopped doing them I think the government is working on something new anyways Something that ll really tear up the streets and put people behind bars Clayton said Yeah well if they try and shove that stuff into my town they ll have it back on their doorstep with the heads of those who sent them Clayton started to laugh like an improv comedian does after his third Long Island on five dollar you call it nights at the comedy club Clayton had a subtle charm that made me feel a little less nervous about the transaction Jessie was still waiting in the car I said Well here are the sheets as you asked You can count them out Clayton said Oh no need for that we ll be here for another hour counting money and sheets Say do you happen to know what street we re on I thought it was weird he didn t want to count the sheets This was a lot of product to assume I had I looked over at the street sign and before I could respond darkness went over my head and my hands were being tied down I started to scream for Jessie as my eyelids became heavy I started to feel nauseous my arms and muscles became weak and by then I was already knocked out I woke up to my knees feeling weak and my body feeling ill The room I was in had white walls and dead insects covering the floors The air in the room was still and the smell was horrendous I noticed how torn my clothes were and how sweaty I was I tried to reach for something to grab onto to lift me up I looked at the walls as they started to wiggle and move The white walls became red blue and green all at the same time The floors started to melt as I began to scream in fear I watched a cockroach squirm out to a hallway I followed suit and

realized what has been done to me I hear banging sounds from above me and whisper to my left and right My mind could not keep track of what was real and what was fake My mouth became dry after three loud cries for help I knew I was hopeless I ran across the hallways ignoring each face and creature that tried to stop me I tried finding a map but would only find digital clocks that read 8 00 P M I find a room with a small opening I reach to pull the door as my mindset starts to come down and I can distinguish my hands and feet I see Jessie as I open the door I find her dead with foam out of her mouth Clayton comes out from the still darkness in the corner of the room Clayton says Greed is a vicious word isn t it

Ethan Benson Ryan Doom ENG 2261 OL45 05 02 2021 Stale Bizkit Wilfred Wilfred where the hell are you I know you re in bed still C mon man just pick it up please I scrambled to get my light on as I thought someone was in my dorm I looked for my slippers since the wood would be so cold in the mornings Wilfred Pick up the damn phone I couldn t help but laugh at Carson yelling at me through the speaker phone which made his voice sound so gritty and high pitched I always hated using the phone and Carson should ve known that We were the only dorm on our side of the campus with a cable plug in Everyone else had to walk outside and use the payphones Or they come to our room if they were smart enough Wilfred our volunteer work is today Professor said if you re not down here in 10 she s leavin ya I quickly picked up the phone after hearing Carson I have been dreading this day but I dread doing the class twice even more

Yeah yeah Carson I ll be there I said trying to sound as blunt as possible I grabbed the pair of socks from yesterday at the end of my bed and threw them on with some blue jeans and a tank top I hated wearing shirts with sleeves They get stuck on anything you scrape your shoulder or arm on Not to mention my kickass tattoo of a snake biting a rabbit on my left shoulder I threw back the bottle of mouthwash and swished it around till the burning sensation became tingly Spat it out threw on my backpack and was running faster than the cross country kids across the hall It was hot really really hot Not the kind of day to be working outside as a volunteer I said I ran past some kids touring the campus That is something I never got Why come see what it looks like Isn t the best part about doing something new is the mystery behind it That sense of being in the unknown is something to wake up for every day I cut a few corners and ran over the grass the groundskeepers were working on The smell of fuel and lawn clippings always reminded me of home in a good way too I ran into the east building as someone was walking out My leaps between each step echoed off the bricks that lined the hallways Always seemed to be grim in this place Never a single crack of natural light could escape into the buildings I saw Carson and the other students walking out the door Rakes shovels trash bags and case after case of water You barely made it man The professor said if we waited any longer we would ve had to be out for an extra hour longer than the rest of the students Carson said Eh who cares I m here now right Hey I heard you jumped off Logan s roof last night How d that go I said

Yeah I wondered if you knew I totally thought I had the jump into the pool Summer was telling me Do it Do it You re nothing but a chump if you don t jump Carson said So did you make it Your legs seem fine your head is still on your body so it couldn t have been that bad I said Well Tommy was standing on the ledge next to the pool I figured if I didn t make the jump he could break the fall Carson said So let me get this straight Summer told you to do the jump even though it seemed merely impossible You proceeded to make sure Tommy would be there to break your fall and then what Did you bring the dirt bike and ramp out next I said Haha no Logan said the cops got called last time they brought the ramp out We just wanted to have a small chill kickback ya know Logan isn t crazy for throwing those huge parties anymore I mean can ya blame the guy The house is so torn up it looks like a college frat house Either way Summer was so stoked on the jump even though I hit Tommy on the way down Carson said Huh I wonder Carson I can never just help but wonder Why to just about anything you say to me these days At this point we were on Main St raking leaves and shoveling dirt from the piles the city left us It smelt like a dog food factory Sweaty teenagers dirt dead leaves and the must in the air left my nostrils dry and my taste bitter Carson and I did some work here and there but slacked off for most of it We weren t much for yard work or really any physical labor The most I ever did was pulling weeds out of my father s garden before he yelled at me for yanking out his tomato plants in their first stage of growth

Hey Wilfred Summer has a really hot super sick friend she thinks you ll like We could meet up tonight at the hot dog stand and go on a double date Carson Said Not interested I said No no no You bailed on me last night to stay at the dorm You deserve a night out Haven t even gotten your feet wet this whole semester man Don t you want to have a little bit of fun Are you going to just sit in the dorm all semester twiddling your thumbs Carson Said Carson I will go with you and participate in your little double date But know I will not be taking any interest in it I have a lot on my plate and the last thing I need is you and someone else barking up my tree all year long I said Right on I will let them know In the meantime clean yourself up and do your homework sooner than later We might be up there for a while Carson said Promise me this Carson If I go out on this one date you can never ask me to go on another one again Whether it s the same girl different girl or hell even a guy this is my first and last double date with you I said Fine yeah whatever After this date you ll never have time on your hand s man Carson Said I switched jobs and started breaking down all the tree limbs scattered across the park I needed to do something while pondering about my death sentence later tonight I know I might enjoy myself but I can t risk getting into a relationship Carson makes them seem like they are more of a task than leisure He s always doing something with Summer and I rather just be left alone

I started to pick at the dirt under my fingertips from all the yard work at the park I stood around for most of it anyways Do something here and there while the professor is looking to make it seem like I know what I m doing The once foggy Saturday morning turned into a blistering hot day without a bit of wind to subside the heat The professor s timer starts to beep and plenty of students leave their rakes on the ground and make a run for the nearest lunch hall or gas station Hey Wilfred I m going to Summer s place Get going on your homework and I will pick you up around 8 Is that enough time Carson said Plenty I responded As the dusk rolled out onto campus I got back in the dorm realizing how many pencils I broke from last night s study session Did I break twelve of these suckers last night Just one of those days I said out loud I chalked it up as an accident and started working out the music sheets that were due by Monday My stress level was high but I couldn t tell where it came from I knew Carson needed this to make Summer happy but I d rather throw everything on his side out the window and tell him to stick up well you know I looked back down and noticed it was almost eight and my last pencil was broken I paced around looking for something to eat so I didn t have to eat at the stand As I started to pull out the microwave Carson bursts through the door yelling lyrics to Queen WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS AND WE LL KEEP FIGHTING TILL THE ENDDD

Why do you have to be extra Carson Every time you come in from being at Summer s you have to sing that song What does Summer see in you I said I like to have fun Wilfred try it out sometime And im not sure but I bet if you ask shell be glad to you C mon lets get going were meeting them at the stand Carson said Well let s just get this over with I said as we walked out the door I knew I wasn t going to have fun I just knew Carson wouldn t bother me anymore I planned on making the date as bad as possible If I take my hotdog and throw it at the cashier that might get me a free ticket to single express I did not care where we went what we said or how we felt Even if there was a connection I knew it was my destiny to break it all apart Before I could come up with any other clever idea we arrived at the stand Summer looked pleased to see Carson and me together Summer introduced me to Kendra my date She had beautiful brown hair that looked silky smooth like an actor for a shampoo commercial Her posture and attitude seemed to match mine I started to think this might be better than I thought I quickly snapped out of it and made sure to frown for the whole introduction Is everyone hungry I am starving and am ready to eat Summer said Hell yes I have been waiting all day to eat This hot dog stand is the best around Wilfred you ever been here before Carson said Nope I don t like hot dogs remember I told you that after like the first day of class I said Yeah I m not much of a fan either but Carson and Summer were persistent Kendra said This woman seemed to not care or want to be here as much as me If I can avoid giving Carson credit for doing anything right I can but I had to admit we seemed to have similar attitudes at

least We got our food and had small talk for a while The hotdogs reminded me of the dog food smell from earlier The wind gusts made it almost unbearable to even stand outside I was ready to get out but Carson and Summer looked like they were going to be planted for a while I figured I could give Kendra a shot Any of you going to audition for that talent show the campus is putting on next week I said No I have no talents to show off least to an audience Summer said as she giggled with Carson Disgusting No I can play the violin but I have a problem with stage fright so I just keep it to myself What about you Wilfred Kendra asked No I can sing and maybe rap a little bit but I just keep it to myself I don t have anyone to audition with anyways I love music though Kendra have you heard of Limp Bizkit They re my favorite band at the moment right now I said Everyone looked at me with long faces Like I just put diesel fuel in my motorcycle Or I took candy from a child Wilfred what are you talking about A band Limp Bizkit Carson said Yeah man You ve never heard me listen to them I always have their albums playing in the dorm I said I ve never heard you play music in the dorm man You must be tripping Carson said as he chuckled with half a hotdog in his hand and the other half in his mouth So you re telling me none of you have heard of them I said Nope Never Are you thinking of the right band Carson asked

I m sorry guys but I have to go There is something I just remembered I left back at the dorm I said As they started asking what it was I already tuned them out and got to work I ran back to the dorm and started cranking out lyrics with half a pencil Every hit song LimpBizkit made I tried to recreate I started making flyers for the campus in hopes to get a band ready for the talent show This was my break I could do the talent show and get famous quit college go on tour and have more money and cars than I could fathom I had about five songs done in one night It was easier to write the lyrics to already written songs than my own The next day rolls around and I was up by nine in the morning to get to the band room before everyone leaves I hung up a few flyers around the band hall and other parts of the campus Before I could make it back to my dorm the phone already had four voicemails about the band Quickly I gathered everyone up and started to teach the guitar riffs and bass lines Days go by just rehearsing the songs over and over making sure they were perfect The day of the talent show arrived Carson couldn t help but encourage me to win in hopes to make Kendra fall in love Carson I m not doing this for her If anything I m doing this for the exact opposite reason I will get rich and famous and be out of the dorm room before you can even say your goodbyes friend I said Yeah sure well remember me when you re holding that platinum record Break a leg my man Carson said

The moment was finally here The band and I rushed to the stage after a not so pleasurable act of a mellow drama written by one of the students here on campus I looked over to the band and said This will be easy Just do what we have done all week long and we will rock this auditorium and be off into the big leagues before we can have time to take a deep breath Focus everyone just focus As I wrapped up final words to the band the announcer called us to the stage Everyone please give a round of applause for Stale Bizkit I ran out on stage with more adrenaline than a nurse could give you at a hospital I felt as if I was a thousand feet higher in the air than the crowd The band plugs in their guitars and basses I get the mic cord wrapped around my arm and can t help but think what I can do to look as cool as possible on stage We start our setlist and before we can get close to the third song The crowd started yelling at us and waving their middle fingers I couldn t help but laugh at the people who didn t understand the greatness of this music After the third song was over someone yelled in the crowd to get off the stage Hey I can take our stuff pack it up and leave right now Is that what you all want I said into the mic Yes One said You guys suck another hollered Get off the stage A man yelled as he threw a bottle at the stage

More and more bottles and half eaten sandwiches started to get thrown onto the stage as we scurried to get our gear and setlists I felt like a soldier in war trying to dodge all the bottles and cans being thrown at us I couldn t help but tear up as we walked off the stage Hey man are you gonna like pay us for this I thought you said the crowd would love it One of the band members said as I wiped tears running down my cheek Why don t you go home and well call you tomorrow for the cash okay Before I could think of responding I was packing my things and running back to the dorm Everything I once wished for vanished in a matter of minutes Every song that I wrote every song I thought I listened to was gone I outran the clouds in the sky the cars on the road the leaves that scraped the ground as the wind blew strong Nothing awaited me at my dorm but the feeling of failure I slammed my door shut and couldn t help but weep I had embarrassed myself in so many ways in front of so many people by just covering a few songs I had no talent and I had no place to belong anymore I wrapped myself into a coil of anxiety and depression I loaded a gun filled with despair and sadness I kicked the stool that displayed my dignity the stool that held myself together I jumped out of a window that housed more guilt than any man or woman could handle I drowned in thoughts that would lead me to the darkest points of the sea places no one wants to go I tightened the knot I shot the gun I jumped out of the window I fell to my death