Dancing With Them - Volume One

A historic estate with a modern twist in the heart of Gippsland Victoria, o ering you and your guests

a perfect and relaxed wedding day. An unforgettable ceremony under a shady tree or at the historic

Stables, breathtaking photo opportunities and a dreamy reception in our clear view marquee.

mewburnpark.com.au // info@mewburnpark.com.au

Hannah Gilbert Photographer

A historic estate with a modern twist in the heart of Gippsland Victoria, oering you and your guests

a perfect and relaxed wedding day. An unforgettable ceremony under a shady tree or at the historic

Stables, breathtaking photo opportunities and a dreamy reception in our clear view marquee.

mewburnpark.com.au // info@mewburnpark.com.au

Hannah Gilbert Photographer





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Dwayne & Karl

Why Can’t Men Hold Bouquets?

Jay & Jenna

Introducing, Shane Ave

Ian & Stephen

Things We Love

Lauren & Sam

Breaking Traditions

Matt & Zac - 10 Years of Marriage

Lily & Oscar

Katie & Kay

Rainbow Love

Abbey & Kate

Joel & Joseph

How to Choose Your Wedding Vendors

Dean & Sam

Lauren & Roya

Bobby & Joel

Brighton Romance

The Directory

101

102

108

112

116

122

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We did it! Welcome to the launch edition of

Dancing With Them Magazine.

If you don’t already know our faces, we are

Arlia (right) and Tara (left), two long term

lovers who’ve been engaged for a smidge over

three years. When Tara proposed to Arlia, we

were quick to discover a wedding industry

full of heteronormative, gendered, traditions,

and expectations. We didn’t see ourselves

represented, and that was disheartening. We

launched our other platform, Dancing With

Her, to inspire other couples like us but always

felt that we needed to extend what we were

doing to include the wider LGBTQ+ community.

So, Dancing With Them was born. A publication

that celebrates all LGBTQ+ love, authentically

and with a whole lot of heart.

We wholeheartedly believe that all love

deserves to be celebrated.

This Volume has so much love poured into

it. The couples featured have shared some

incredible stories of love, engagements,

weddings, gender, and everything in between.

We get to explore one couple’s journey through

ten years of marriage and another as they

transitioned gender during their relationship.

We get the opportunity to share some of the

most beautiful weddings from around the

world - from Dwayne and Karl’s emotional

Baltimore wedding ceremony to Ian and

Stephan’s dapper, two-tux, wedding in Canada.

Lauren & Roya’s epic sunset proposal will have

you tearing up with happiness and Dean and

Sam’s steamy at-home session, inspiring you

to book your very own with your lover.

We are so proud of what this celebrates.

We know you’re going to love it, cover to cover.

We want to take a quick opportunity to say a

giant thankyou to the people that brought this

issue to life. From the lovers who so openly

shared their stories, photographers who

have shared their art and the contributors

and wedding professionals who helped these

pages come to life in one way or another,

thank you.

As always, thank you, reader. Thanks for

supporting our work. Because of you, we can

share these incredible stories of LGBTQ+ love

with the world.

This volume is a community eort, and we are

so, so, thankful.

Photography by Tanya Volt

Love,

Arlia & Tara

Founders of Dancing With Them

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EDITOR & CO-FOUNDER

Tara Baker

CREATIVE DIRECTOR & CO-FOUNDER

Arlia Hassell

WRITER

Sasha Sheehan

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Love to the Core Photo, Eve Rox Photography, Bows and

Lavender, Elvira Kalviste, Maryland Photography, Sara Hannagan

Photography, Studio XIII Photography, Maria Bauer Photography,

Marissa Solini Photography, Tuesday Photography, Widman

Photography, Hannah Gilbert Photography, James Thorne, Be

Here Be Now Photos and Films, Fox & Kin, Kristyn Taulane, Silk

and Thorn, Stephanie Dreams Photography

FRONT COVER IMAGE

Love to the Core Photo

www.lovetothecorephoto.com

BACK COVER IMAGE

Eve Rox Photography

www.everoxphotography.com

SUBMISSIONS

www.dancingwiththem.com/submissions

ADVERTISING & WHOLESALE ENQUIRIES

partnerships@dancingwiththem.com

DANCING WITH THEM

P.O. Box 609

Coolangatta, QLD, 4225

Australia

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

www.dancingwiththem.com

facebook.com/dancingwiththem

instagram.com/dancingwiththem

pinterest.com/dancingwiththem_mag

Dancing With Them acknowledges the Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples of this nation. We acknowledge the people of the Bundjalung

Nation whose Land on which our company is located and where we primarily conduct our business. We pay our respects to Ancestors and Elders, past,

present and emerging. Dancing With Them is committed to honoring Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples unique cultural and spiritual

relationships to the land, waters and seas and their rich contribution to society.

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

LEADERS IN MADE TO MEASURE SUITS AND SHIRTS FOR EVERYBODY

www.shaneave.com

Instagram | @shane.ave Facebook | @aveshane1

“Marriage is celebrating love for one

another and the willingness to accept each

other’s strengths and weaknesses.

It’s about sharing our individual outlooks

and growing through our shared

experiences.

Oddly enough, marriage means freedom

to us. Freedom to live. Freedom to be

our authentic selves and knowing that

you have someone by your side who

understands when no one else does.

Marriage is loving someone who loves,

appreciates, and who gets you. It’s loving

someone who allows you to be you and

has the desire to reciprocate for life.

Marriage is also having a built-in dinner

and movie date for life - winning!”

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It was only a short eight months after their

engagement that Dwayne and Karl tied the

knot in a heartfelt and perfect ceremony,

surrounded by love.

Dwayne and Karl became a couple after

sliding into one another’s DMs over three

years ago. Little did they know, that not

long after, they would both start planning

their proposals.

On the weekend after Thanksgiving,

Dwayne decided to propose to Karl rst.

The couple spent the day visiting their

favorite places to eat and shop, and then

returned home to put up their Christmas

tree. Dwayne popped the question after

placing the nal trimmings on their newly

decorated tree. The ring was the nal

ornament!

Planning their wedding was a great

experience that Dwayne and Karl will both

cherish for a lifetime, and they learnt so

many new things about one another in the

process.

When asked about the inspiration for their

day, the grooms-to-be wanted everyone

to walk in and immediately know that it

was THEIR wedding. They blocked out the

noise of others’ opinions and decided on

a moody, minimalist and masculine look

that was fueled by purposeful thoughts

and ideas.

Choosing outts was a personal process

that was dierent for both men. Dwayne

changed his look three times in the lead

up! On the other hand, Karl’s choice was

much easier, as he selected a “classic” look,

an all black tuxedo, white tuxedo shirt and

white bow tie.

The couple delved into several DIY

projects, including creating a decal for

their tongue-in-cheek wedding sign which

stated, “Choose a seat not a side, we’re all

family once the knot is tied!”

On the morning of their big day they

started o with breakfast at their hotel:

the infamous Hotel Monaco, which they

said was “the perfect way to decompress

and prepare our minds for the day ahead.”

They then went and got fresh haircuts

from their barber and returned to their

hotel to get ready together.

Their photographers Corinne Thompson

and second shooter Alicia Wiley arrived

and started an afternoon of photo-taking

across various backdrops before the

ceremony began.

As promised, their ceremony began at 5:30

pm (5+3=8 and 8 equals new beginnings)

and it was exactly what they imagined

it would be! Their vows were ociated

by Rev. Laura Cannon who performed

a magical ceremony tailor-made just for

them. During the ceremony, Dwayne and

Karl purposely had their guests seated in a

circular design around them, because they

wanted to be surrounded by love.

Then guests enjoyed a dream cocktail

hour featuring many of the newlywed’s

favourites. Cue: endless fresh pizza, bacon

treats, donut burgers and their signature

cocktail: a watermelon jalapeno margarita!

During the cocktail hour, the couple

escaped for a memorable moment alone

to exhale and take in everything that had

just happened.

After switching into their custom Converse

Chuck Taylor sneakers, the newlyweds

joined their guests at the reception for a

wonderful night of toasts, dinner, dancing,

cake and laughter. There really couldn’t

have been a more perfect ending.

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Photography

Love to the Core Photo

Florals

Love and Luster

Food

Copper Kitchen MD

Hair

Melvin Miles

Jewelry

David Yurman

Menswear

Nordstrom, Bonobos

Music

Morgan State Band, Michele Fowlin,

MyDeeJay

Ociant

Ceremony Ociants

Planning

Tira Lynn Events

Rentals

Select Event Group, White Glove Rentals,

Event Dynamics Inc

Venue

Mt. Washington Mill Dye House

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ONE

HAVE AN INCLUSIVE WEDDING PARTY

There is no reason why that wedding party

of yours can’t be made up of di erent

genders - if they’re the important people

in your life that you couldn’t imagine

marrying your best friend without, their

gender should not stop that.

TWO

ADDRESS YOUR INVITES INCLUSIVELY

This one is super simple - just use names

on your invitations instead of addressing

‘Mr, Ms, Mx, etc.’ We’d suggest popping the

names on the invites in alphabetical order

- super inclusive.

THREE

FORGET GENDERED PRE-WEDDING

EVENTS

A hens night for just the ladies, a bucks

party for just the boys - boring! There’s a

pretty high chance your favorite people

are of mixed genders, so the parties you

throw before the main event should be

the same.

Need a more inclusive name for your pre-

wedding party? Just throw a bach party, or

an ‘I’m getting married’ celebration!

FOUR

HAVE FLORALS FOR EVERYONE; WHY

CAN’T MEN HOLD BOUQUETS TOO?

Florals are for everyone, and wedding

 orals don’t just have to be in a bouquet.

Sure, you could have a  oral boutonniere,

but you could also have  orals in the hair

(including beards) or  orals attached

to your attire creatively, like over the

shoulder.

FIVE

DON’T MAKE THE WEDDING PARTY

PARTNER UP

You know that awkward tradition of

partnering up someone from each side

of the wedding party to walk down the

aisle together - just have your wedding

party walk down together as a group, as

individuals, or another creative way.

SIX

STOP WITH THE GENDERED LANGUAGE

Bridal party, bridal suite, etc, it is an old

school thing to make weddings all about

the ‘bride.’ It’s super easy to use non-

gendered language like ‘wedding party’

and ‘wedding suite’ for these things.

Why can’t men hold bouquets?

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Photography by Emma Weiss

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SEVEN

ASK YOUR WEDDING PROS TO USE

GENDER-NEUTRAL LANGUAGE

This one is especially true for those whose

vendors are going to be there with you on

the day. Ask your wedding vendors to use

gender-neutral language for your guests -

it is a good reminder that pronouns can’t

be assumed.

EIGHT

DON’T ADDRESS THE ROOM AS LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN

...because there might not just be ladies

and gentlemen in the room - the employed

people who are working your wedding

night included. ‘Friends and Family’ or

something as simple as ‘Hey, Everyone’

also works as an all-inclusive option.

NINE

PUT PRONOUNS ON PLACECARDS

You could ask your guests for their

pronouns when they are RSVP’ing to your

wedding day. Print those pronouns on

place cards. This will especially make it

easy for guests who haven’t yet grasped

asking new people for their pronouns and

create a warm and inviting space for your

gender diverse guests.

TEN

HAVE GENDER-NEUTRAL BATHROOMS

We still can’t understand why gender-

specic bathrooms are important,

especially at an event like a wedding.

Ask your venue to remove any gendered

signage, or cover it up with something you

have created.

ELEVEN

DANCE WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT TO

DANCE WITH

It might be a tradition for men to have their

rst dance with their mothers, and women

with their fathers, but we say throw that

tradition right out the window and dance

with whoever you want to dance with.

Maybe you only want a rst dance with

your new spouse; maybe you don’t want

to dance at all. You do you, whatever feels

right.

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After ditching their fantasy of a rad

do-it-yourself wedding day in an empty

warehouse because it was way too much

work, Jay and Jenna found their perfect

venue and unleashed a theme that was

appropriately and hilariously characterized

as ‘Earth Tones meets My Little Pony.’

Jay and Jenna met as roommates

in an awesome apartment, near

Dolores Park. However, after starting

to date and deciding to give love a

shot, they ditched the apartment in

a move that they say was 100% worth it.

The couple eventually made a home

together in New York but were back visiting

San Francisco. They found themselves on

a reminiscent walk through Dolores

Park. Jay had sneakily hid a diamond ring

at the bottom of a Bi-Rite ice-cream

cone that Jenna was eating. When

Jenna reached the ring, Jay got down on

one knee and surprised her with his

proposal.

Both Jay and Jenna have strong aesthetics,

so, at their convergence… the ‘Earth Tone/

My Little Pony’ theme just naturally arose.

The couple loved that when it all came

together on the day; it was romantic,

colourful, surreal, and fun all-in-one.

They found it super empowering to

appropriate the hetro-normative tradition

of marriage by personalizing it to make

their ideal day, in every possible way. They

gave themselves the leeway to embrace

the mindset of rejecting any requirements

or expectations that were motivated by

anything other than their love story.

Their wedding day was totally unique, but

totally Jay and Jenna.

Choosing outts, was something they

admit was tough for them both. Jenna’s

rst dress was a complete disaster that

ended up being returned after many

re-ttings and lots of tears. She found her

nal dress only three weeks before their

wedding date.

Jay knew they wanted to ride the line

between modern and classic. After trying

on the tuxedo jacket at Suit Supply, they

knew they had their look and everything

else fell in to place.

On their wedding day, Jay and Jenna recall

a favorite moment: driving over the Golden

Gate bridge to their venue, The Headlands

Center for the Arts. This was the moment

when it all started to feel real.

With the support of their co-ociants—a

dear friend and their future brother-

in-law, Jay and Jenna drew on queer

history and Jewish tradition to write their

ceremony. This created a ceremony that

was extremely personal and connected to

their roots.

Another moment that the newlyweds

recall as being one of the funnest of

the day, was during the champagne toast,

when they got to see all their guests

together in one place for the rst time.

When asked about what marriage means

to them, their rst response was ‘Gay-AF!’

Their wedding day gave them the chance

to make every detail of the day their

own. They believe that through collective

power, the creative spirit that the queer

community brings to marriage, can evolve

the meaning of an oppressive tradition

and make the world a better place.

Jay and Jenna are happy, living their best

cosy lives in committed bliss, and for them,

it doesn’t get any better than that.

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“We took on two big DIY projects before

the wedding day.

Jay, and a couple of friends including a

ceramacist, (Founder of Jo Boyer Ceramics)

hand made pinch pots that served as

incense burners in our favor bags.

Jay stued all the favor bags with the

bowls, palo santo and cedar stick incense

gifted from friends at Ritual Incense. Jenna

created informative intention cards to go

along with the gift bags.

We also had a napkin dying party where

we dyed all of our our-sack napkins with

friends in the back yard. Both were tons of

work but made the day more memorable

and meaningful to us.”

Photographer

Eve Rox Photography

Cake

Miette

Catering

Katie Powers Catering

Event Planner

Partial Planning by Heartthrob Weddings

Florist

Tropic of Flowers

Gown

Essence of Australia

Hair & Makeup

Elizabeth Windust, Love and Wolves

Beauty

Jacket & Pants

Suit Supply

Lighting & Sound

Marin Lighting + JK Sound

Photo Booth

Photomatica

Signage & Stationery

Mike Wilcox, Tropic of Flowers

Wedding Rings

Esquelito

Venue

Headlands Center for the Arts

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Who is Shane Ave?

Shane Ave is a journey to freedom of

expression!

We are a non-gender formal attire

company that prides itself on being able

to provide a safe, friendly and comfortable

environment for everyone to be able to

validate their identity without judgment

when choosing formal attire.

As someone who is a part of the

community, I recognized the hole in the

market and set out to  ll it with a brand

and company that allows all queers to

feel con dent, validated and understood

without judgment or fear.

And, why were you inspired to do what

you do?

Witnessing the elation and happiness in

our clients is the driving force for us!

Suits, pants, vests, and shirts are a staple

in all queer wardrobes, yet resources

for lesbians, transmen and non-binary

persons to buy a suit or shirt that actually

 ts and feels amazing are almost non -

existent.

We know that formal fashion in general

terms is very gender-speci c and

often doesn’t allow the freedom

of expressing one’s own identity.

We noticed that LGBTQ+ people

speci cally are left out in the market

place and that the community

had nowhere to go that allows them

to feel con dent and comfortable

to purchase their chosen formal attire.

Shane Ave was born out of a need

to provide formal fashion that blurs

traditional lines of gender divisions. There

has been a very big hole in the market for

too long.

We want everyone to feel safe to take a

journey with Shane Ave in the knowledge

that this is your journey, your style and

your opportunity to be free, to validate and

a rm your own identity with con dence

and freedom.

We are passionate about giving everybody

the opportunity to feel empowered,

con dent and comfortable when they walk

out the door.

Are suits for every body?

Yes, most de nitely!

At Shane Ave, we aim to design and create

a style that suits every client regardless of

their identity or style.

We cater to butch masculine, femme,

softbutch, gay, transmen, transwomen and

every person in between. We also welcome

our allys to the LGBTQ+ community, of any

gender, who want a great custom made

suit that is designed especially for them - if

you want to wear a suit, a suit is for you.

Size and style is no barrier with all our suits

because each and every one is made to

measure.

INTRODUCING

dwt | 34

Check out our website or social media

pages for some awesome inspiration in

styles and designs.

What does the process of a custom

Shane Ave suit look like?

The process can be done in a number of

ways.

We oer face to face consultations in our

agship store in Sydney, and at our pop up

stores that happen across Australia. We

visit every state in Australia 3 times per

year and we’re starting these consultations

over in the US in 2020.

These consultations take about 1hr and all

styling, designing, and measurements are

included in the process by either myself or

one of our qualied stylists.

Or, we oer Skype and Facetime

consultations for those who can’t make it

to a one-on-one consultation.

During these consultations, we guide

the client through the styling and

fabric selection process however the

measurements are completed by the

client using our unique measurement

guide which includes a video tutorial.

And, if the idea of a consultation doesn’t

entice you, there’s an opportunity to grab

your suit o the shelf online.

We’ve tried our best to make this process

as seamless as possible. Clients can

choose all their own fabrics, styles and

designs. And, like we mentioned there is a

measurement guide, complete with video

tutorials to guide you.

Do you only sell custom pieces, and do

you ship around the world?

At this stage all our pieces are made to

measure however we will be launching

an o the rack range of shirts and t-shirts

early 2020 with plans to launch a jacket

and pants o the rack range later in the

year. The best news though is that we ship

all around the world!

Do you have any suggestions for

people, who struggle with their body in

some way or another, on how to relieve

their worries around ttings?

We are fast becoming the name on

everyone’s lips when it comes to formal

attire whether that be for weddings, social

engagements or work.

Photography by Alana Taylor Photography

dwt | 35

Apart from the fact we provide high quality

and professional craftsmanship in all our

pieces, feedback from clients tells us that

the success and rapid growth of Shane

Ave is largely because of the safe and

comfortable environment we provide for

everyone.

All measurements are taken fully clothed

which oers our clients that may struggle

with their body in one way or another, to

feel completely comfortable.

It is our passion and promise to everyone,

to ensure a safe and comfortable

environment when choosing their formal

attire. It’s something that every person

deserves, especially when they are nding

an outt for a special occassion, like their

wedding day!

Tell us more about your podcast, The

Unsuitable.

The Unsuitable is a natural extension

of the business, presenting the stories

of some of the world’s most interesting

people in the queer community, that we

have had the opportunity to meet through

Shane Ave.

When clients come for a consultation

they will often share their stories, some

are quite harrowing and confronting whilst

others are warm and heart lling.

The more stories I heard the more inspired

I was to tell the world these stories and

help our LGBTQ+ community and the

wider community to gain some insight

and better understanding of people in the

queer community.

What’s next for Shane Ave?

After an incredible reception at New York

Fashion week last year, Shane Ave will be

launching in the United States later this

year with two consultants already secured

in Atlanta and Chicago. It’s an expansion

that we are so thrilled about.

We will also be appointing consultants in

every state of Australia to be available for

consultations all year-round instead of just

a few times a year.

We will be taking our pop-up store to New

Zealand in April, which is a rst and we are

very excited about that.

We look forward to bringing the o the

rack lines to fruition and continuing to

serve the queer community.

“Neither of our families had ever attended

a ‘gay wedding’ before, so there was

denitely a level of anticipation and

pressure we felt to make sure it lived up to

expectations.

In the beginning, we struggled with

which ‘traditional’ elements we wanted to

incorporate, which would be expected of

us, and which we felt didn’t necessarily ‘t’

what we thought a ‘gay wedding’ meant to

us.

In the end, we decided that staying true to

us and our story was more important than

anyone else’s expectations, and that’s kind

of what we used to guide our decisions.

As it turns out, that’s what everyone was

expecting anyway!”

dwt | 41

Yin and Yang lovebirds, Ian and Stephen,

met at a house party over 10 years ago

when they were both dating other people.

Those relationships soon zzled out and

it was clear to them both, that there was

something worth exploring with each

other. And… the rest is history!

Seven years later, they set o for their

annual trip with friends to Prince Edward

County for a weekend of wine and

debauchery. Little did Stephen know, that

Ian was planning an epic proposal.

While touring the vineyard, Ian slipped

away for a bathroom break whilst an

unassuming Stephen continued the tour

with their friends (who all knew what was

about to happen). When they reached

the barrelling building, the doors opened

to reveal Ian surrounded by candles

and string lights, down on one knee.

The proposal was one of the happiest

moments of their lives, and of course,

Stephen said “Yes!”

After an initial struggle choosing their

wedding theme and which ‘traditional’

elements they wanted to incorporate, they

decided that staying true to themselves

was important to them.

As a result, the initial direction Stephen

gave to their visual team, Index Creative,

was ‘part Britney Spears ‘My Perogative’

music video, part Met Gala- but make

it us!’ They wanted a chic, but moody party

vibe that really invited their guests to let

loose and celebrate!

Although they collaborated with a lot

of their friends in the planning process,

they do admit to creating their very

own ‘Wedding Bible’. This was basically a

35-page long, complete brand guide

for their wedding, detailing every aspect

to ensure everyone was on the same page

about every detail.

To t in with their neutral colour palette

for the wedding (mainly black, white, greys

and champagne tones) they dressed

their wedding parties in black tux’s and

champagne dresses. To make sure they

stood out, the grooms’ tuxedos had black

slacks and white jackets to give them an

extra slick pop!

On the morning of their wedding they

drank champagne and laughed as they

both separately practiced their vows

on their closest friends, and slowly got

themselves groomed for the event.

Photographer, Bows and Lavender

whisked the grooms-to-be away, a few

hours before their ceremony to do a ‘rst

look’ shoot in their tuxedos. The shoot took

place in an alley-way across from the hotel,

and those photos did not disappoint!

In a sea of nerves and excitement, they

then headed to Berkeley Church for their

ceremony.

They both say that the moment their eyes

met was so emotional and they found

it hard not to tear up. The entire church

stood up and started clapping as the

grooms met in the middle of the aisle

and walked down it together. It was pure

magic!

The newlyweds and their guests then

buckled in for a night of live music, food,

speeches and performances, that they

say, were all… absolutely perfect.

Ian and Stephen had felt committed for

a long time, but say having a wedding

became a great reason to celebrate their

love. Their union also serves as the most

powerful reminder of how much love and

support they are surrounded by in their

everyday lives.

dwt | 43

Photographer

Bows and Lavender

Cake

Glory Hole Doughnuts

Catering

Berkeley Church

Decorative Elements

Index Creative

Engagement Rings

Tiany & Co.

Entertainment

Tynomi Banks, DJ Phil Villeneuve

Event Stylist

Index Creative

Suit Designer

Rented from Andrews Formals

Venue

Berkeley Church

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Say goodbye to boring, plain or generic ties and bowties, and a give a very enthusiastic

welcome to bright and bold prints created exclusively for the label by Australian designers.

Peggy and Finn have arrived to the party!

We adore these original prints, they pack a punch in all the right ways. Sure to make a real statement.

Often inspired by botanicals there is something for every personality. Also, they’ve expanded into

socks and undies too, and have an adorable kids collection - swoon.

www.peggyandfinn.com

Melbourne based artist, Francis Cannon has

teamed up with Third Draw Down to bring

to life a fun collection that looks at ideas of

body-love, body-loathing, anxiety, relationships,

sex, sexuality, gender and bodily functions - just

a handful of our favorite things!

We are head over heels for every piece but the

‘Franny Pack’ is the real show stopper.

www.thirddrawerdown.com

We are huge, like really huge, fans of confetti - but we hate, like really hate, the environmental impact

confetti can have. Plus, you’ll nd a whole head of wedding venues will have pretty strict rules when

it comes to this very topic.

If handmade biodegradable, earth-friendly, confetti made with love is on your wedding ‘need’ list,

you’ll need to check out Eco Confetti. Good for the earth and looks incredible in photos- a guilt-free

‘we’re married celebration’ confetti.

www.econfetti.com.au

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We don’t want to alarm you, but, we’ve found an incredible handmade shoe brand that doesn’t

gender there shoes. As in, the designs, like our favourite Plain Plaid Toe shoes above, are available

in a huge selection of sizes. So, if you’re a smaller footed person you don’t need to miss out on your

favorite designs.

Parallel Shoes is a brand based in America, but they ship to lovers across the globe.

www.parallelshoes.com

If you’re on the hunt for some inclusive wedding stationery that celebrates your love, meet, Two

Brides Presents.

Their stationery o ers a diverse range of pre-designed styles created by independent Australian

Artists which can be personalized on so many levels. If you are after a truly original design, the team

are also pros at creating something custom, totally unique. Packages are tailored to suit your big

day and your budget. They also o er some adorable inclusive cards for other important events like

birthdays and engagements.

www.twobridespresents.com

THINGS WE LOVE

WIN

Want to have this little ring all for yourself (or

to gift to someone you really love?) We’re giving

away a 9ct yellow gold crater ring, with a sparkling

diamond, handcrafted by Albert Tse Metalsmith.

Competition is open to lovers across the world.

You can enter via dancingwiththem.com/win

www.alberttsemetalsmith.com

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Brooklyn couple Lauren and Sam haven’t

always called New York home. In fact, the

couple met in Texas in 2014 and lived all

over the country before settling in their

forever home.

Not only have they travelled their home

country, but they have spent their time

together having epic adventures all

around the globe and making some of

their favorite memories along the way.

For Sam, waking up in Lake Como with her

partner was one of her fondest memories.

She recalls looking over at Lauren, who

had planned that stretch of the vacation,

and was enamored with the life they get

to live together. For Lauren, it was a trip to

Greece with just the two of them out on

a balcony, soaking up the sun and making

each other laugh.

The couple got engaged the weekend

after the US Presidential Election in 2016.

Like much of America, they were shell-

shocked when Trump won and they were

very unsure of what the future would

hold for gay rights, trans rights, and the

right to marry. When they started dating,

they couldn’t legally get married, so

they decided to lock it down while they

were under Obama’s Presidency, out of

principle more than anything else. With

about two months to plan, they set their

wedding date for January 7, 2017… two

weeks before Trump would be ocially

inaugurated.

So, with a small guest list that included their

Californian and Texan family members,

amidst a massive snow storm, the couple

tied the knot in an artist loft in Williamsburg.

The loft was like a warm haven from the

frozen outside world. Fifty of their closest

friends and family surrounded them and

witnessed their vows. It was intimate,

candlelit, with minimal decor or fuss- just

them, committing to each other.

Though Lauren and Sam are now a happily

married couple that are both content

with their own identities and relationship

nuances, gay marriage rights have not

been the only gender based obstacle that

they have had to overcome.

Lauren was about six months into her

outward transition when she met Sam; she

was also leaving behind a marriage that

didn’t honor her gender expression. Sam

was 23 and just making her emergence

from inside the closet.

When Lauren told Sam that she is

transgender, they didn’t know what to

think at rst. Sam told her “I’ve got a lot of

questions, but I’d love to know more about

your journey.” This resulted in Lauren truly

opening her eyes and ears to a whole new

language surrounding gender, identity

and expression. The questions that this

new knowledge arose, brought about

revelations that were working on Sam

from the inside out. They started feeling

the lightbulb come on, like they nally

understood why they never belonged with

the ‘girls.’

It took them about ve years to come to

the realization that they are non-binary

and even then, it wasn’t until they saw

themselves on television (the couple were

part of a show called Couples Therapy

on Showtime), that they realized they

didn’t want to continue showing themself

to the world as a woman. They were

obsessing over the idea that they didn’t

look like themself on the show- like they

were dressed in a costume. And those

little inklings, combined with many years

of thinking through gender identity with

Lauren, helped them to come out as

non-binary and change their name to

something that felt truer to them.

Lauren, who has seen the gender

variances in Sam since day one and has

been so patient and kind in waiting for

them to fully accept themself, has been

nothing but supportive of their identity

transformation. In fact, she was so excited

to see them step out into the light of who

they really are!

Sam says if there were any signs of

tension, it was that Lauren was pushing

them to accept their truest self before

they were completely ready. Sam now

has a better understanding of their own

gender-dysphoria triggers and can now

better empathize with Lauren, about what

she has gone through for so long.

Being in an open relationship is also

something that is important to them,

because the goal within their partnership

is to never limit each other or themselves.

It was very early on in their relationship

(third date to be exact!) that Sam told

Lauren that they didn’t see cheating as

an option or a reason for them to ever

break up. It was their young way of saying

“I don’t expect you to never be sexually

attracted to other people, so let’s be

real about that up front.” Sam believes

that when monogamy is assumed and

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never discussed, it can give unrealistic

expectations about themselves and

each other. They ocially started seeing

other people about six months after

their wedding. They were cautious at rst

and started out with some ground rules,

that have slowly melted away as they’ve

built this specic form of trust with one

another. They don’t always date other

people, in fact it’s rare. However, they’ve

found the experience to be mind-opening,

whilst also providing them with the feeling

of being free, autonomous people in the

context of a committed marriage.

One of the biggest challenges they have

faced in their relationship has been

deconstructing heteronormative power

imbalances. As queer people, Lauren

and Sam sometimes feel that they may

have side-stepped the trappings of daily

social constructs; such as their individual

relationships to money and how rooted

they are in patriarchy and antiquated

gender norms… but say if they look closely

enough, they are denitely there. Woven

into the fabric of their childhood and

societal conditionings, they have dierent

ideas about how to relate to money and

how they think about child rearing and

timeline, etc.

Nonetheless, they do their best to take

these challenges as moments of growth

and say they have learnt so much from

each other on these topics, but at times it

hasn’t been easy!

When asked about what advice they

can oer other couples going through

similar subjects, staying honest and

communicative was top of the list. Keeping

lines free and open and not being afraid to

tell each other what you truly want or how

you really feel about everything. Finally,

treating your relationship like you’re a

team is a great way to get aligned, know

what you want to accomplish in your

relationship and design the world you

want to live in… together!

Lauren and Sam now have some big

dreams ahead of them- dreams of a

boutique interior design company,

furniture ipping, eventually working on

lms together and adding children into

their family unit.

They both agree, that they’re pumped up

about all of it!

Flowers For The Wildly Romantic

- Wild, Unique, and Wandering -

www.rustedvase.com

Photos by Sergio Alcala Photography

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Breaking Traditions

HOW THESE LGBTQ+ COUPLES TOOK WEDDING TRADITIONS AND MADE THEM THEIR OWN

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A Diamond Engagement Ring

Andrew & Martin

Our proposal wasn’t a secret to either of us, rather a

mutual decision that we discussed at length. We forego

any real ‘traditional’ engagement, and instead, we started

making wedding plans after that discussion - no rings

exchanged.

Martin, being a little more impatient than Andrew, did

go about buying the wedding bands himself and used

them to ‘propose’ to Martin a few weeks after that initial

decision. It was more a romantic gesture than anything

else.

Kelsey & Lina

Conscious of the environmental impact of diamonds

(and metals), Lina had a ring handcrafted from recycled

metals and had a sapphire from her Grandmothers

engagement ring set as a feature stone.

It’s a repurposed ring that has a lot of sentimental value.

One that Kelsey wears so proudly.

Kegan & Tag

Tag works as a medical professional, and so when they

are at work, a ring is out of the question - and, to be quite

frank, Tag has never been a ‘ring’ person.

Kegan proposed, in place of any sort of engagement ring,

with a beautiful watch. On the back of the watch, Kegan

had the date that we rst met engraved. The day our

lives forever changed.

Sarah & Yara

In day to day life we work hard to reduce our

environmental impact, our engagement and our

wedding will be no dierent. Sarah actually found an

Etsy seller who created rings from recycled skateboards.

It’s an accidental nod to the beginnings of our relationship

where we Yara would spend hours trying to teach Sarah

how to board, with not a lot of success.

Sarah got down on one knee with the ‘non-traditional’

ring and Yara couldn’t have been any quicker to say ‘yes!’

Dane & Ryan

Dane actually proposed with a tattoo! You wouldn’t

consider either of us shy when it comes to getting new

ink. Dane actually booked us in for a couples tattoo

session, something that we had done before, so Ryan

was unsuspecting.

He planned a wonderful lunch where we talked our

future, what we envisioned a life together would look

like, and even our journey to parenthood. Dane very

sweetly asked during the lunch ‘will you marry me?’, Ryan

of course answering ‘yes’. The matching tattoos signify

that commitment to one another.

Photography by Marylane Photography

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Dylan & Robert

We didn’t have an aisle at all! We only ever wanted a

small wedding and had just 37 guests present on the

day. We had a private rst look with our photographer

before heading to our venue together. We arrived before

our guests and so had the opportunity to greet them all

as they arrived.

When the time came to get married, our ociant (and

dear friend) called for our guests to be seated, and we

casually made our way to the front of the area as they

settled.

No grand entrance required. It was authentic to us.

Abbey & Kim

We didn’t even think about who would walk down the

aisle rst until our celebrant reached out to conrm

about a week before the wedding - talk about being

chilled out brides!

After we laughed at our own lack of organization, we

decided that it would be fun to toss a coin on the day.

We got ready together, made our way to the venue as

a team, and at the top of the aisle, we tossed the coin.

Kim chose heads, and she walked rst - escorted by both

her Mom and Dad. Abbey followed with her proud older

brother on her arm.

Sure, it wasn’t a ‘traditional’ way to go about it, but it

denitely got a laugh from our loved ones!

Bobby & Julie

Since the beginning of our relationship, we have seen

one another as equal. The tradition of walking down

the aisle and being ‘given away’ by our parents was

something that just didn’t sit well with us.

So, we decided to walk down that aisle, and into the next

chapter of our lives, together. Hand in hand, it felt like we

drifted down the aisle in an emotional, almost dream-

like, state.

Stacey & Yumi

We consciously decided to nd a venue that would allow

us to both walk down the aisle, separately. It wasn’t an

easy task, but with a creative stylist on board, it came

to life.

Our venue had space that allowed us to both walk down

two dierent aisles, toward one other. It really allowed us

to be in the moment; eyes locked on one another from

the minute ‘our song’ started to play. We both remember

the moment as one lled with pride and joy - the pre-

ceremony anxiety dissipated almost instantly.

Grant & Augie

We eloped, so technically, there wasn’t an aisle!

Photography by Sara Hannagan Photography

Walking Down the Aisle

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Dylan & Robert

We are social butteries and with a guest list just shy of

200, our wedding party was just as grand - seven on each

side. Each of us had our siblings and a handful of friends,

a wedding party of both men and women.

We did set rules around what we wanted the wedding

party to wear. We wanted to stick to a neutral color

palette for our beach wedding. Our groomsmen did

wear matching, hired, sand-colored suits, however, the

women of our wedding party wore dresses that they

chose themselves. We wanted them to feel comfortable

and wear a dress that they could wear again!

Alex & Roberta

Choosing a wedding party was really tough for us! Initially

we shortlisted people that we thought we would like to

stand beside us. However, we were planning an intimate

wedding, and eventually, we came to the conclusion that

we didn’t really need a wedding party at all.

Instead, we decided to invite those people closest to us

to get ready with us. And, when the time came to make

our way to our ceremony, we all caught a bus together

for the grand entrance!

Bobbi & Mandy

In planning our entire wedding there was never any

conformity to old school traditions, and mapping out our

wedding party was no dierent! Bobbi had three people

that they wanted beside them, and Mandy had six. So,

we had misnumbered wedding parties! We also knew

that we wanted every person standing beside us to feel

comfortable, condent and beautiful. And so, we decided

that everyone in our wedding parties could choose what

they wanted wear.

It was a mix of colors, dresses, suits, jumpsuits and it

could not have been any more perfect! We think the

smiles on everyone’s faces says it all.

Alex & Arnold

We actually have a large joint friend group, and so we

found that when we started discussing the wedding

party, we realized that there was some crossover!

Obviously, when thinking about where they would stand,

there were some logistical issues.

We eventually decided that our wedding party would be

a joint wedding party! We got ready in separate rooms,

our people moving between the two of us. They walked,

very enthusiastically, down the aisle just before us, and

all nine of them took their seats front and center at the

ceremony.

Then at the reception, they all sat with us on a shared

table. It was an awesome way to have them all involved

in our love celebration.

The Wedding Party

Photography by Studio XIII Photography

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Chnaging the Last Name

Dean & Nigel

Dean proposed rst, but Nigel proposed back, asking

Dean, ‘can I be the man to take your last name?’

Nigel has two older brothers who have carried on the

family name, and keeping his last name just wasn’t

important.

He ocially took on the new last name about six months

after we were married.

Casey & Eleven

It took us a long time to decide what we would do

about surnames after our marriage. Neither of us felt

emotionally connected to our ‘family name.’ We spoke

about hyphenating, or not changing them at all, but

anticipating children for our future, we wanted to have a

name that represented our family unit.

We actually ended up deciding that we would choose

our own new surname. We are avid outdoor enthusiasts,

and we planned our a ‘proposal hike’ with the intention

that we would both have a chance to propose at some

point during the hike.

That mountain is a special place for us; it is where we

declared our commitment to one another. And so, its

name was a natural choice for our own new family name,

Rainier.

Amy & LeAndra

We are both career-driven women and have worked

hard to build our professional proles. We never found

ourselves having a discussion over the whole ‘changing

your last name’ tradition. Instead, it was assumed that

we would both keep our last names - personally and

professionally. It’s also something that neither of us

found importance in, it seemed like an outdated tradition

we just weren’t interested in fullling.

We were taken back by just how many questions

our family would ask about the decision, particularly

questions around what we would do if we chose to

expand our family. Although we don’t know exactly

what we will do (it is still a few years away, if it will ever

happen), we both agree that we might go down the road

of hyphenating our child’s last name.

Marc & Sam

We went back and forth on what to do with our surnames

for our entire engagement and during the rst few

months of marriage.

We eventually decided that hyphenating our two names

was the best choice for us. We wanted to have a unifying

surname (we dreamt of a sign at the front of our farm,

proudly displaying our family name), but it didn’t feel

right for either of us to give up the meaningful names

we’ve carried with us through life.

Photography by Maria Luise Bauer Photography

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MATT & ZAC

TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARISSA SOLINI PHOTOGRAPHY

www.marissasolini.com

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Love grows and shifts during a long-term

relationship. Matt and Zach have been

together more than 15 years, and married

for 10. Their lives have intertwined, they

have grown together, and their love is just as

strong as ever.

How did you two meet?

Z: We met on the rst Wednesday of

September 2004 at a gay bar in Providence,

Rhode Island, called Mirabar. Matt went

to Brown University and I went to the

University of Rhode Island. We seem to

remember it was college night at the bar

during the week that everyone was moving

onto their respective campuses.

We were both there with friends, and I

was there to dance it all out before classes

started the following week. Matt came up

to dance with me and tried to chat over

the ear-damagingly loud music.

Before he left for the night, he asked for

my number, but he had no cell phone to

type it into (these were still early cell phone

days), nor anything to write with. So, I

typed my number into my own phone and

he memorized the number.

He called me a week later for a date and

we dated almost weekly that fall.

How long have you two been together?

And when was your wedding?

M & Z: We met over 15 years ago! We

got married on October 9, 2009, in

Massachusetts, where Matt is from and

where same-sex marriage had been tried

and tested for ve years. Legality was

still patchwork throughout the states

then, and only domestic partnership was

available in Oregon where we lived, but, it

all worked out for us to go back to the East

Coast where we’re both from and have our

wedding there.

How did you two become engaged?

Z: I never cared if I married or not. At the

time, it was not an option for me anyway.

Also, I didn’t have examples of happy,

long-lasting marriages in my life and some

of the most well-adjusted couples I knew,

had been together for many years without

ever getting married.

Matt had it in his mind that he would get

married after he had reached certain

milestones. At the age of 27, he had met

all of those milestones.

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One night in bed, before we had fallen

asleep, he casually asked me if I thought we

should get married. I knew that married or

not, I could see myself with him for many,

many years.

So, I said if it was important to him to get

married, I would absolutely marry him.

Nothing fancy, but totally us.

When did each of you know you were in

love with the other?

Z: In 2006, the year that I graduated, we

got to spend a lot more time together in

the months before graduation because I

lived the closest I had ever lived to Matt up

to that point.

I also knew that earlier that school year, I

had made the decision to live in Oregon for

a year to see if I liked it. If I decided I didn’t,

then I would move back to New England.

Matt still had a year of school left, so I knew

he couldn’t come back west with me and

that we would have to take a break or do

a long-distance relationship. I didn’t really

want to do either, but knew that I could

have ended up resenting Matt if I stayed

for him instead of seeking something new.

I knew we really had something good and

worth holding on to, when I was faced with

the possibility that distance may cause it to

slip from our hands or not.

M: About ten seconds before I asked him

to marry me, I think.

I was doing a little prayer and meditation

before bed, and I heard a voice; this had

happened one other time in my life. It told

me to marry him. We’d always had such an

easy connection, and I’d always felt like I

was with the right person, without even

being aware of that feeling.

I think that moment resulted from the

realization that I was good enough to ask

him to marry me.

What is your favorite quality about

each other?

Z: I’ve learned from Matt that it is okay

to make mistakes, and that perfection is

not necessarily the best goal to keep in

mind. That is not to say that he only makes

mistakes; he just doesn’t let the thought of

mistakes or perfection hold him back as

much as I feel it holds me back.

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Being in a partnership with Matt has

helped me push boundaries around this;

something that I may not have explored

without him.

M: Zach is extraordinarily considerate and

just.

What are some of your favorite

memories from your wedding day?

M: My most prominent memory is that

of my grandmother, who was in the last

stages of Alzheimer’s, asking if I had any

girlfriends or boyfriends, and her being

very happy to learn she was at my wedding.

Z: I remember our families getting to

meet for the rst time. I remember

nerves and laughter. I remember that

it was threatening rain all morning, and

we got married outside in a park, along

a lakeshore down the street from Matt’s

parent’s house.

I remember the awkwardness of standing

in front of our families, so far apart,

we couldn’t even hold hands. I

remember being very calm, but trying to

smile because my calm face looks more

severe.

I remember seeing nerves in Matt that

I rarely see. We took a few photos after

the ceremony, and as we drove up to the

reception (a camp we had rented out for

the weekend) that afternoon, the rain

poured down!

How do you feel your love for each

other has changed or grown over the

years? Any advice you’d like to give

couples for a long and happy marriage?

Z: Married life has its ups and downs, but

so does a heart monitor, and if it is at,

you’re in trouble.

Our culture focuses so much on how

couples meet! I can’t recall a single story

or instance that focuses on how a couple

stayed together through the years, or how

they’re doing seven years in - and that’s a

real shame.

There was a time about a year after we got

married, when we both realized we could

never be everything the other wanted or

needed and that it was okay! That is a lot

of pressure to put on someone, and we

decided to take that pressure o of each

other.

That was a very important realization!

We love to travel together, and those are

the times that I have felt closest to Matt.

He sets everything up with a direction

and a general outline, and I work out

details along the way. It’s wonderfully

collaborative.

When we aren’t traveling, we ll our days

with things that fulll us individually, which

means we sometimes don’t see much of

each other, but over the years, we have

supported each other to grow and evolve.

We also love playing with our sweet

adopted dog, Kirby.

We have become a safe home base for

each other.

We check in with one another about how

things are going. We get to learn about

each other’s lives in a way that’s exciting

because we often share something

new the other is hearing for the rst time.

Sometimes that individualism catches up

to us, and we nd that we need to spend

more quality time together, and that’s

often a nice change of pace.

It is all about the ebbs and ows.

LILY & OSCAR

AN ENGAGEMENT

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TUESDAY PHOTOGRAPHY

www.tuesdayphotography.com.au

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Words by Oscar

We’ve been together for almost half a

decade; it will be ve years in July.

We had been best friends since we were

17, then I transitioned at 19, and we got

together shortly after. We met at a mutual

friend’s house in the most simple way,

and somehow it ended up being the

most important meeting we both have

ever had.

Lily was eager for a proposal, like, really,

eager! I knew the only way to make her

not think it was happening, was to make it

seem like it really wasn’t happening.

For six months, I let her believe that

it wasn’t important to me, and once

I convinced her of that, she was so

oblivious to everything I did regarding the

proposal.

Lily didn’t question why I was working

so hard or pay attention to the money

I was piling up, so all of that made

keeping a secret pretty easy. No-one

expects a big surprise if you tell them

for six months that it’s not going to

happen!

I booked a holiday so that I could propose

in a nice way, and since you do so many

nice things on holiday, I knew she wouldn’t

expect it. The only issue with it was the

added nancial stress of getting an

engagement ring and a holiday (overseas

to the UK no less).

I was looking for a ring for two months

before walking past a shop window and

nding the perfect match, when I least

expected it. Once I found that ring, I knew

it was the only one that would come close

to how beautiful she is.

I worked my ass o to get that ring for her,

and it was so worth it! Then, I proposed to

a very unsuspecting Lily on that holiday to

the UK. It looked absolutely perfect on her,

aside from the ring being the wrong size -

something not simple to x overseas.

When it comes to wedding planning,

taking our time is most important to us

since we don’t want to add unnecessary

stress. Some aspects of a “traditional”

wedding can be nice, but a lot of it is so

heteronormative.

We want to show our family that there is

more to the queer world than a drag show!

We haven’t planned the ins and outs of the

day, but we do know we want our wedding

lled with queer love, celebrations, and of

course, wedding day outts.

There hasn’t been much planning done

so far, but we do know that every guest is

welcome to dress as binary or non-binary

as they please.

Luckily enough, Lily’s dad is an amazing

orist, so owers are sorted! Obviously,

Tuesday Photography is our ideal choice

for photos; we were absolutely in love with

this shoot and we honestly don’t think

anyone could’ve captured our love any

better.

We have so many friends who want to

contribute to our wedding. Our friends

have always been so supportive of

our relationship, and it would be

amazing to have them all involved in this

celebration!

We are really trying to be individual with

certain details and take inspiration from

ourselves more than anything. Our

biggest inspiration is, honestly, looking

at a traditional wedding and doing the

complete opposite of that!

dwt | 69

“I think our engagement mostly just

changed how other people see our

relationship.

For me personally nothing changed, Oscar

was always my life partner since the day I

met him but the engagement just showed

all our friends and family the realness of

what we have.

Relationship wise no feelings changed,

but from the outside there seems to

be a lot of pressure to transform into

full-edged adults after the engagement

and ‘settle down’.

As much as I love that I’m spending

my life with Oscar, we don’t ever think

that we could ‘settle down’; that whole

concept was birthed from het-culture.

We are deciding what this engagement

and marriage is on our own terms, we are

forever growing and changing, so ‘settling

down’ isn’t ever on the agenda.”

“I did a ton of DIY for our wedding!

I love to do projects for people, so getting

to create things for our wedding was a

huge act of love for Kay and our friends

and family who would enjoy them with her.

I refurbished a custom s’mores table out

of a torn up vintage vanity, learned to

do calligraphy for all of our invites and

signage, designed custom coloring books

and goody bags for the kids coming to

our wedding and handmade combination

name tag place card buttons for each

guest. It was quite an undertaking!

As a orist, I also did all of our oral design,

which was my favorite gift to her. I cried

the whole time I was making her oral belt

because I knew she would walk down the

aisle in it.”

dwt | 75

Kay and Katie had been half-jokingly

proposing to one another for months. So

much in fact, that when Kay proposed for

real, it took Katie a moment to realise she

was serious. Of course, she said “Yes!”.

Katie’s proposal however, was much more

elaborate.

As the couple were set to leave all their

friends behind in Washington and move

to Massachusetts, Katie wanted to

plan a big do involving all their friends

and family, so that they could see them o.

She created a scavenger hunt for Kay,

taking her on a chronological journey of

memorable places and events through

their relationship. It involved lots of love

letters, clues, family and spontaneous

appearances of close friends… and then of

course, a cli-top proposal!

After their two unique and emotional

proposals, Kay and Katie embarked on

a carefully designed journey of creating

a wedding event that was as sustainable

as possible. Their whole wedding ending

up being either thrifted, compostable or

reusable in their lives.

They planned their theme based on their

love of camping and the outdoors.

Their oral design was based around

Kay’s favorite greenery and included

billy balls, evergreen trees, ferns, roses

and ranunculus. For the owers, they went

with mustard tones and warm neutrals.

They aimed to create a casual, intimate

atmosphere where people could relax and

enjoy the weekend’s events.

Their venue, Camp Huston in Gold Bar, WA

was chosen as Katie had gone their many

times growing up. She took Kay there and

experienced a perfect day (one of the

most special in their entire lives).

They ended up sheltering from a surprise

storm in the chapel, and spent at least an

hour laying in the outdoor chapel talking

about their future and families. It was

perfect, and they knew it was the place for

them!

Both women had trouble nding the

perfect outts. Kay found a lack of queer

lady style icon to source inspo from, and

Katie just found it hard to nd anything

that suited her sustainable ethos. In the

end, they both found their perfect outts

with Katie settling on a perfect burgundy

jumpsuit and Kay nding a gorgeous lace

gown that she knows she’ll wear again at

some point.

On their wedding day, the brides-to-be

recall some of their favourite moments

being; helping each other get ready, their

‘rst look’ with their brides-mates, walking

down the aisle together, and when they

rang the chapel bell after they kissed their

bride!

Both Kay and Katie had dierent religious

upbringings, but started the ceremony

with a beautiful service of blessing

and unity. They made sure that their

bridal-family and parents were involved

in some way. This included having their

parents walk down the aisle, and playing

their wedding songs at the reception,

which was an absolute riot.

Their day was captured by Stacie from

Widman Photography, who the brides say

was just amazing. They honestly didn’t

remember her even being there in many

moments, but somehow, she captured

them! It meant for photographs are an

authentic representation of the couples

and their love.

Kay and Katie had the most beautiful

wedding day, one that set the stage for the

rest of their life together. A life of laughter,

learning, growing, and changing with their

best friend.

dwt | 80

Photography

Hannah Gilbert Photography

Florals & Styling

Pollen & Patina

Jewelry

Sally Rose Jewellery

Make-up

Elle James Makeup Artis

Props & Furniture Hire

Mewburn Park, Pollen & Patina

Shoes

UnDandy Shoes

Signage

Redpoint Design

Suits

Stobies Land & Surf

Ties

Peggy & Finn

Venue

Mewburn Park Homestead

dwt | 87

Abbey & Kate met on good old Tinder over

three years ago, and enjoy a full and fun

life. Between work, you could nd them on

hikes searching for hidden waterfalls or

snuggled on the couch, eating nachos.

Their proposal unfolded on the night of

Kate’s graduation ball, during a late-night

stroll through the botanical gardens. After

kicking o their heels, they walked down

some steps and found themselves in a

little area enclosed by trees, owers and

a water feature. As a courageous Kate

(who nds it hard to express her feelings)

was describing everything she loves about

Abbey and how her life had changed since

meeting her… she took out the ring and

proposed.

Abbey bawled her eyes out in a very

ungracious way and said a big yes! When

she calmed down, she then described all

the reasons she wanted to marry Kate,

and proposed straight back.

When the couple rst got engaged, same-

sex marriage was not legal in Australia.

So, they planned to have a ‘wedding’

celebration here in Australia and then

travel overseas to a country where

same-sex marriage was legal and elope.

However, after many unreturned emails

from venues and vendors regarding their

wedding request, the women admit that

they felt hurt and disheartened.

Thanks to marriage equality laws changing

in Australia, Abbey and Kate were able to

start planning their wedding on home soil.

When it came to their wedding day,

the couple didn’t want anything to be

uptight or rigid. They wanted it to reect

themselves and be fun, free and owy.

After choosing a rustic aesthetic with a

laid-back vibe, they turned to Pinterest for

inspiration and started planning.

Their venue was one that they hadn’t

previously looked at, however, it popped

up on Kate’s Facebook feed as an

advertisement. The owners of the venue

were so happy with the change of law

that they had put on a special for same-

sex couples who were wanting to now get

legally married. So, they visited Immerse

and fell in love with their vineyard chapel

and their wonderful, welcoming sta.

After a few outt hiccups, the brides-to-

be both found their dream dresses at the

same store, using the same consultant

that guided them both to ‘the moment’

when you know you have found ‘the one’.

Abbey and Kate spent the night before their

wedding apart, and in the morning arrived

at separate times at their venue to get

ready with their family and bridal parties.

Then, on a perfect Spring afternoon, the

two brides thanked the weather gods and

set forth to enjoy their wedding day, which

they described as absolutely amazing.

Reecting on their big day, both women

reveal that they are glad they kept it very

organic, with no over-dramatic statements

or declarations of love, just what came

naturally. Their exchange of vows was a

perfect example of this, with both brides

stating that their vows were so similar, they

literally could have written one another’s

promises!

To Abbey and Kate, marriage represents

unconditional love. Their wedding day

showed them, and everyone else, just

how well they know each other, as well as

solidifying that they are 110% meant for

each other.

dwt | 88

“Some advice to those who are in the

process of or thinking about planning

their wedding as a same-sex couple: Your

wedding is completely your own.

Don’t let the media tell you what it ‘should’

be like. Don’t let the search for the perfect

venue or cake dishearten you because

they don’t agree with your sexuality, you

will eventually nd the perfect t, it may

take a bit longer but when you nd it, it’s

100% worth the wait.”

Photography

James Thorne

Dresses

Stella York

Cake

Jessica’s Cakes Brunswick

Florist

Jayne Egeberg

Hair

Emma Jean Bridal Hair

Makeup

Sian Howard Makeup, Crystal Meyer

Makeup

Venue

Immerse Yarra Valley

“We have been together for so long that

there was absolutely zero stress when it

came to wedding planning.

We had massages, lunch and then our

photographers came over and we took

our dogs for a walk. The weather wasn’t

great and our ceremony was supposed

to be outside so we were a little less than

pleased with that, but what can you do?

Luckily, just as we arrived at the venue, the

skies cleared and it was picture perfect.

From then on, it was exactly what we had

imagined.

Even though, we have been together for

quite some time, getting married felt like it

has taken our commitment to a whole new

level. I still get this buttery feeling when I

get to call him my husband.”

dwt | 97

Joel and Joseph have been together for

an incredible 14 years. They met a short

eight days after Joseph arrived in Australia,

at 2am at the Market Nightclub in Prahran,

which they sarcastically say was “very

romantic”. Nonetheless, it worked out

perfectly for them!

The couple now live on Victoria’s

picturesque Mornington Peninsula with

their two huskies and a cat. However, as

Joel and Joseph love to travel, in was only

tting that their proposal took place on the

other side of the world.

On a trip to Europe in 2018, they got

engaged in Santorini while they were

sitting on their balcony overlooking the

Caldera at sunset in a moment that was

100% romantic.

It was a dream proposal that led into a

year-long planning process for their big

day. A process that they both recall as

being extremely enjoyable and completely

free from stress.

Both Joel and Joseph wanted their wedding

to be at a winery on the peninsula. After

lunching several times at the Red Hill

Estate winery, they made their choice. For

them it was the winery’s incredible wine

that tipped them over the edge.

In fact, having the wedding at a winery was

the only thing they were set on for the

wedding. Continuously calling themselves

‘bad gays’ throughout the process because

they were so laid back about it. They put

zero thought into the little details and

focused on having a big party with all their

family and friends… which is exactly what it

turned out to be.

Outt shopping turned out to be a fun

event. The couple have a friend-of-a-friend

who had just opened her own personal

stylist business, so, they tasked her

with dressing them. They met her at her

family’s house in Sorrento where she had

a cheese platter and champagne waiting

for them. She styled them in various suits

until they found the right ones. Then, she

customized them to perfection.

Their big day arrived and they spent the

morning getting massages and lunch.

Then their photographers from ‘Be Here

Be Now Photos and Films’ came over and

they took their dogs for a walk, which

turned into an amazing rst photo session.

The weather wasn’t great and with their

ceremony scheduled for outdoors, the

grooms were a little less than pleased.

Luckily, just as they arrived at the venue,

the skies cleared and it could not have

been any more perfect. From then on, it

was exactly what they had imagined.

The newlyweds rst dance was one of

their favorite moments of their day, which

they made in honour of one of their best

friends, who had sadly passed away. One

of his favourite songs was Proud Mary

by Tina Turner. Their rst dance was to

a sweet love song, but they cut it o 30

seconds in and put on Proud Mary and

invited everyone up on the dance oor. It

went o and was so amazing!

Fourteen years together did not take away

any of the fresh new feels that getting

married brings, and has taken Joel and

Joseph’s commitment to a whole new level.

Joel loves that he now gets that buttery

feeling whenever he calls Joseph ‘my

husband’.

dwt | 99

Photographer

Be Here Be Now Photos and Film

Cake & Cake Topper

Peninsula Cake Art

Catering

Max’s at Red Hill Estate

Celebrant

Emma Tomlinson

Cinematographer

Be Here Be Now Photos and Films

Entertainment

Dr Romeo

Event Stylist

Rose Vinci Styling

Florist

Poppies of Red Hill

Rings

Uniform Black

Venue

Max’s at Red Hill Estate

dwt | 101

You’re engaged! Congratulations!

Now, it’s time to head down the rabbit hole

of nding the perfect wedding suppliers to

help bring to life what you envision your

wedding day will be.

Which sounds fun, right? Until you realize

that there are literally thousands of

wedding pros out there to choose from -

and it can get confusing.

From photographers to orists, event

planners to the stationery designers, it

can get overwhelming quickly - so, here’s

a little step by step guide to ease your way

through the process.

1. Take your time

You’re engaged, enjoy that bubble of

excitement! There’s no reason to jump

onto locking in your vendors before you

have done your homework. Celebrate

being newly engaged with your lover -

you deserve that. Go on dates, throw that

engagement party and know that wedding

planning will come in time.

2. Do your research

First things rst, think about where you

want to get married, the style and vibe you

want the event to have and map out your

budget.

The best way to go about this is to each sit-

down and think about the three things you

want to prioritize for your day - it might be

photography, your wedding outts, and

your venue. Keep these at the top of mind

when you are looking for vendors.

Find vendors through magazines, blogs,

social media or word of mouth. Head to

expos, if that is your scene.

3. Send you inquiries

Get your information ready and reach

out to the wedding vendors who have

made your ‘we need to know more’ list.

You’ll need; your names, contact details,

wedding date, wedding location, and any

questions that you want to ask.

Your initial inquiry is a good opportunity to

see if you vibe with the wedding pro, make

sure that they work within your budget,

and that they are available on the date,

you’re hoping to marry.

4. Shortlist your vendors

If you’ve reached out to three dierent

orists, it’s now time to cull that list down

to two (or one, if you can!).

If you have only reached out to one stylist

who you’re head over heels in love with,

and you don’t want to consider anyone

else, it’s totally okay to skip ahead and

make a decision. Don’t feel like you need

to complicate things.

5. Arrange consultations

If you are having trouble really narrowing

down your list, it might be time to book

in for a face-to-face (or online/phone)

consultations.

While it might not be necessary to arrange

a consultation with all of your wedding

vendors, we would recommend really

catching up with your photographer and

ociant at the very minimum. These are

two wedding vendors that are going to

play one of the most signicant roles on

your wedding day. You want these people

to really understand your love story, and

champion it.

6. Make your decisions

The most exciting part - it’s time to lock in

your chosen wedding vendors. Make sure

you get in touch as soon as you’ve made

a decision so that your wedding date is

still available. It is commonplace that you’ll

need to pay a deposit before you can

conrm your booking.

Before you do pay that deposit, it’s your

last chance to read over contracts and ask

any questions.

You don’t want to go into anything without

knowing exactly where you stand.

And, it should go without saying, reach

out to the wedding vendors who you have

decided, for whatever reason, just aren’t

right for you. It’s common courtesy. Don’t

stress about the wedding vendors taking

oense; they will appreciate the honesty,

we promise.

How to choose your

wedding vendors.

DEAN & SAM

A LOVE STORY

PHOTOGRAPHY BY FOX & KIN

www.foxandkin.com

dwt | 103

We wish we could say we met in a cute way

like they do in the movies, but the truth is

we met in a much cuter way; Tinder!

We decided to meet in person at a beach

in Newcastle. The funny thing is, is that one

of us thought it was halfway between our

houses, while the other one of us knew

this denitely was not the case!

Nonetheless, he made the drive from

the Central Coast anyway (like a true

gentleman). We both awkwardly, but

excitedly, got to know each other while

exploring Newcastle, and ended up with a

pretty intense sunburn as a souvenir for

the best rst date ever.

Some of our favorite memories were in

that time, when we rst started seeing

each other. We lived about an hour and a

half away from each other, so the whole

day would be spent waiting to begin the

drive to the other person’s house.

The best part was always walking through

the front door and seeing the other person

just as excited to see you. It was our own

little escape from the world, just the two

of us.

Like any relationship though, it hasn’t

always been roses.

The biggest challenge we’ve faced has been

maintaining a good, healthy relationship,

while one of us completed a university

degree.

University degrees come along with their

own fair share of challenges.

Combine stress, mental health, spending

months away from each other over

placement periods and pre and post-

exam breakdowns. With a general lack

of nancial security, it is tough on one

person, let alone adding a relationship into

the mix.

Lucky for us, Dean is the most supportive,

beautiful human in the entire world and

took it all in his stride.

For Dean, his favorite thing about Sam is

his unfettered love for plants, art, music,

fashion, good food, and even board games.

Before he met Sam, he never looked twice

at plants or bothered to play a game of

chess, etc. But since being together, Sam

has taught Dean to look at these things in

a new light, with a better understanding

and appreciation for them. Now, Dean

can’t walk into a nursery without buying a

plant!

For Sam, his favorite things about Dean are

his infectious laughter, his positive outlook

on life, his sense of adventure, and the

way he listens to Dean’s many rambling

stories.

Dean has a tendency to get side-tracked

easily, and a 5-minute fun fact turns into

an entire breakdown of why each Harry

Potter book is superior to each Harry

Potter movie. But, most of all, he loves the

warmth and love he gives him.

We both see ourselves traveling, buying

a house, adopting more pets, getting

married, and eventually having kids.

A note from the photographer: Fox & Kin

In celebration of pride month, I gave away

an at-home shoot, and Dean and Sam

were the couple who won. They rented

out a super cute Airbnb, and we spent the

afternoon hanging out and documenting

their beautiful, playful and intense love.

Photography by Gabriell Vieira

www.apoemaevents.com

Lisbon | Portugal

@apoemaevents

LAUREN & ROYA

A PROPOSAL

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KRISTYN TAULANE

www.kristyntaulane.com

dwt | 109

Together, Lauren and Roya had

purposely discussed the ins and outs

of an engagement, before the proposal

happened!

They are rm believers that both partners

need to be on the same page when it

comes to monumental life moments and

milestones. While a proposal (that is a true

surprise) sounded romantic to them, they

both wanted to be condent that they

were ready.

Ultimately, they had always known that

they wanted to marry one another, so

it was more a matter of when, than if.

Then, after moving into a new place and

receiving promotions at work, the timing

just felt right.

They discussed who would propose to

who, and Roya expressed interest in being

the one to do both the planning and the

asking. While Lauren knew it would be

happening, she had no idea of how, or

when it was happening.

It turned out, Roya already had the

proposal in the works, for over a year.

As a surprise, Roya had orchestrated a

couples photography shoot - one that

would disguise the anticipated proposal.

The photographer, Kristyn, suggested the

location, which was a nearby canyon. The

original idea was to make the proposal

at the beach, where they had their rst

date. However, Kristyn advised that beach

pictures may be dicult, depending on the

weather, and Roya wasn’t prepared to take

the risk.

A choice that paid o - their dream

proposal was captured right at sunset.

Directly after the proposal, Roya took

Lauren to a nearby restaurant for,

what Lauren thought would be a small

celebratory moment for us.

Lauren stood out the front, trying to call

her parents to share the good news. She

was unable to get through after multiple

attempts and desperate texts to call her

back, so, Roya convinced Lauren to try

from inside the restaurant.

On walking in, Lauren quickly realized

the entire room was lled with their

loved ones - Lauren’s parents included. It

turns out while Lauren was making those

frantic phone calls from just outside the

restaurant, Roya was texting them not to

answer their phones. Both of their families

were there, as well as their friends from all

over the country.

Roya had secretly been in contact with

them, coordinating ights, and organizing

the surprise.

Neither Lauren or Roya wanted a traditional

diamond ring for ethical reasons, but they

loved the look of moissanite, so that choice

was perfect. Both rings have a beautiful

rose gold setting.

Lauren found the rings and shared them

with Roya prior to the proposal, to give her

an idea of what she would like. However,

even more special than the ring, was the

box that Roya chose to place it in.

The lid of the box was adorned with

wooden carvings of our two cats, and the

interior of the box said “Meowy Me.” A

special little reminder of the life they have

already built together.

For the lovers, their engagement

represents their shared goal of spending

their lives together.

BOBBY & JOEL

A LOVE STORY

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SILK AND THORN

www.silkandthorn.com

dwt | 115

How did you meet?

B & J: We meet in an English class

twelve years ago while pursuing our

undergraduate degrees. We became great

friends on social media and made our

relationship ocial a number of months

later. We have been inseparable ever

since. We would spend hours talking on

the phone late at night just getting to know

each other, we’re best friends rst which is

the beautiful foundation our relationship

has been built upon.

What is your favorite memory together?

B: I have so many, however my favorite

memory would be a week-long trip we

took to New York in December of 2012.

My family lives in New York so I never have

experienced New York through the eyes of

someone who has never been. That was

Joel’s rst real trip to the states capital, we

went to our rst Broadway show, saw Jay-Z

for the rst time and tried every cuisine

New York had to oer.

J: I would have to say my favorite memory

would be our birthday celebrations.

We both believe birthdays should be

celebrated in a grand way. So each year we

design a cake for the others birthday that

ts the theme of that year’s party. We keep

the cake design secret so its a surprise

you get to enjoy for your birthday. This is

something I greatly enjoy and always look

forward to every year!

As you can imagine we’ve spent many

birthdays together so we’ve had some

beautiful cakes made each year.

What’s been some of the harder things

you’ve had to overcome together?

B: I believe the biggest challenge we had

to overcome was when we lived apart for

three years, we were tested in every way

possible.

I was in grad school and Joel, had taken a

new job. Those three years forced us to

really do some self-exploration and face

some major fears head-on. I believe it was

during that time that we truly understood

the meaning of unconditional love, and in

turn our love for one another.

J: I completely agree with Bobby, those

three years away were some of the most

trying times of our relationship. Meeting

each other while we were so young we

hardly knew ourselves, the time apart

was lled with us discovering ourselves as

adults outside of college life.

We learned so much about ourselves,

and it gave us an opportunity to come

back together and grow from the young

boys that met, to the young men we are

today.

What is your favorite thing about one

another?

B: My favorite thing about Joel is the fact

that he is my best friend, he gets me like

no one else does and I know he has my

back. I also admire and respect his creative

ability, I’ve never met someone who is

good at almost everything they do.

J: My favorite thing about Bobby is his love

for music, he lights up when it comes to

anything music. From the fashion, the

stage design at the concerts, the musical

arrangements, and production. Bobby

would always make mixed CDs or playlists

of music for me, I would always be excited

to hear the new music he’d mix together

just for me.

And, what does the future hold for you

both?

B & J: First is our marriage in August 2020.

Then, possibly children. Most importantly

though, it’ll be growing together, traveling

the world and starting a business.

A note from the photographer:

“This shoot was all about fun, love and

honestly, what I hope for every wedding

of mine to be. I wanted it to capture what

LGBTQ+ means to me.

Being a ‘late-life lesbian’ has really opened

my eyes to making LGBTQ+ couples more

visible and the need to normalize, things

like getting married.

The rainbow veil was actually what the

whole shoot was based around. When I saw

that beauty from Crown & Glory, I knew it

would be a big part of the photoshoot and

overall look of what I wanted to achieve.

From there, the majority of my ideas came

from pastel rainbow colors, whilst adding

in fun oristry as well as vintage ideas and

styling. The cake and sweet grazing table

was a big idea for us, all the colors and

textures worked so well together, and the

vintage styling table connected everything

so well.

The veil worked perfectly with the dress,

with its simple, but beautiful features the

veil had a moment of its own.

It is all a perfect blend of styles, it feels

sweet and pretty, whilst being cool too.

The vintage vibes of the ceremony and top

table, especially, made the relaxed but fun

look all come together.

Although the weather was against us,

getting out in Brighton was still so much

fun & also so important to show couples to

make the most of their day- no matter the

weather. Being in between a few dierent

storms, photographing on the pier still

worked well, with the girls putting on their

converse and jackets for a more relaxed

look.

Megan & Whitney’s love shines through on

every single photo; they were such a joy

to photograph and made the shoot come

together seamlessly”

Photography & Concept

Stephanie Dreams Photography

Cake

Charlotte Anne Cake Design

Celebrant

Perfect Words Ceremonies

Dresses

Matchimony

Lovers

Megan & Whitney (What Wegan Did Next)

Makeup

Nadia Wyatt H&MU

Musician

Robynne Calvert Music

Painted Jackets

Creations by Miss Molly

Perspex Signs

Petitjeans Designs

Planning & Floristry

Hire Societies

Stationery

Made by Rae Designs

Styling & Props

Betty Loves Vintage

Veil

Crown and Glory

Videography

JDP Photography

#bookletDiv.pf5 { display: block !important; }

A historic estate with a modern twist in the heart of Gippsland Victoria, offering you and your guests a perfect and relax...

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