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This portfolio that you are going to be reading has a variety of meaningful poems and other pieces that I have written. As your eyes glance over this journey through my words, you will notice that some pieces talk about difficult things and my way of working through them. Other parts are poems that go on about a material thing, an actual object, when it actually stands for something deeper than that. The first piece to come to view in your eyes talks about a set purpose in life, when sometimes that purpose is never set in stone. Your purpose may not be set in stone, or still unknown. It will come to light as time goes on, and you realize there is a reason why you are here. The future is not a set path or destined route, it’s what you make of it. It’s how you decide to live your life. During your lifespan, there are going to be people who will stab you in the back, turn on you, even do unthinkable things. That will make it seem like it’s impossible to forgive them when forgiveness doesn’t have to be verbal. The moods that we go through are endless and some people express them or feel them differently. We go from expressing anger to expressing the feeling of love so quickly, it feels like we all have constant mood swings. It is unknown when the final time we will see someone is. That final talk. The last conversation. The last word. The last laugh. The last of everything. Don’t take that for granted, because it might be that final time.

“Purpose” My life’s purpose? That is a major question that can go a few different ways, depending on how I look at it. Still being young and risky, I am not sure what my purpose in life will be. I have people in my life that say my purpose in life is to ruin other people and ruin their lives. I have some that tell me taking care of others is my purpose. I don’t believe that is the case. As well as a number of other people, I have or can have more than just one purpose in life. I’m still young, not yet a full adult with adult responsibilities. I am not sure about the full world yet and I sure as hell don’t know everything in this world. How can I know my purpose? My purpose in life seems to be to make sure others don’t lose themselves or make sure others don’t feel alone and make sure they know they have someone. However, what if in the middle of doing that, I fall myself. I lose myself in that process. I do believe that I’m here to make some kind of difference, I just don’t know what that major difference is going to be. I know that I’m here to make a change and do something big. I hear that my generation is going to be the one that change things, if that’s the case, my purpose is going to be bigger that I think it’s going to be. One purpose I believe I’m here for is to use my writing to inspire others somehow. By blasting it on social media and going to publishing companies with my finished works and getting it out into the world, I will inspire others with my words.

“Silent Words” It was difficult to think of someone I would forgive, because the people who I have grudges against have crossed me pretty bad. That being said, those kinds of people were my closest friends that I considered my stuck-like-glue friends but turned out to be those that stab you in the back so many times that finally notice their true colors. You can’t say ‘it’s in the past it doesn’t matter anymore’ like Rafiki in The Lion King because there are certain things that will be burned into your brain that people have done to you. I’ve had those so-called ‘friends’ lie to my face, talk behind my back, spread rumors, turn my other friends against me, you name it. However, I can’t live the rest of my life holding these grudges, because they will end up eating at me like extra stressors throughout my daily life. This will be more like a silent forgiveness, within myself. This helps me move on with my life and not stress about what those people are doing or worry about if they’ll try to cause trouble with me again. The actions I will take in doing this is a simple ‘kill them with kindness’ approach. For example, if I see them in public I will simply be as nice as can be to them. Toxic people, especially narcissists, absolutely hate it when they can’t provoke you or get a rise out of you. This will be the perfect moment for forgiveness to shine.

“Tightrope” Single line Single strand To stand To balance Is almost a challenge itself One wrong move will snap everything I’ve set up the twine again Don’t break it again I don’t have another rope You said you would not break this one You broke all the others They snapped when you stood on them This is your last chance Don’t throw me into the net It’s a far fall Hard to get up from Once I’m in the net I’m stuck till’ someone pulls me out It’s a dark place from earlier trials

“The Motions” Seeing red My body goes numb I can’t breathe I can’t hear the world around me I won’t let anyone touch me I can’t contain myself The monster is going to let loose Storming through the hallway Punching hard surfaces Smashing everything in my path Murmuring words under my breath Slamming doors open and shut My body has lost control No one can stop me This monster I have become The destruction I have caused The people I have hurt I am alone now Alone in my body again The monster will strike again

But I’ll be okay this time Because I have love That special feeling that can send chills down my spine That feeling that makes me forget everything on my mind Makes my mind go crazy It’s a magical and special feeling to experience At the right time of course Sometimes it can be that some just may not be ready But it comes into everyone’s life at one point It’s filled with passion and takes effort Without effort this feeling would be meaningless You feel like you two are the only people that exist Nothing could end this perfect moment It feels like love at first sight You can’t explain this feeling You can only feel it and enjoy it

“The Last” “You ready for the next step of our lives? We’ve come so far. We’re in this together. I won’t let you down.” The grass is damp under my legs from last night’s rain. The cool wind is breezing through my pulled back hair. I look over to the block of stone in front of me and smiles with determination. I see a rose in the distance, it takes me back to those few days. The last days of hope I ever saw. I remember it like it was last week. My eyes glass over as I stand back up to my feet, taking a deep breath as I walk back to my red vehicle. We talked on the phone every night ever since you moved back with your mom. You got a relationship awhile after that. I saw that you were happy, so I supported you in anything that made you happy. M: Hey girly! It’s been a while. E: Yes, it has. How are things? M: Um… pretty good. I might be coming back home. E: Wait what? Why? M: I’m in a pretty bad situation right now. E: I’m here if you need anything. I hope you come back. I love you. M: I love you more. After that conversation, I didn’t hear from you. I’d message you every few hours to make sure you were okay. Later that next day, I met up with a friend of mine that had some news. “A close friend of yours passed away earlier today.” He told me gently, not knowing how I’d take the news. “There’s no way. How? How did this happen?” I responded in disbelief. There was no way you could be dead, I just talked to you.

“She was beat to death by her boyfriend. She came home bloodied up and never woke up after that.” He pulls me into a hug as tears spill from my eyes. “He better go to jail for this. It wasn’t her time yet.” I say through my tears, gripping onto him tightly. After your death, my emotion went away for a very long time. I still have struggles feeling anything anymore. You weren’t supposed to leave yet. We were supposed to graduate together and grow up together. I will live for you. I won’t disappoint you.

“Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person you’d take a bullet for Is behind the trigger” -Fall Out Boy