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DISCIPLESHIPG R O U P SMIDWEEKCONNECTPracticing the way of Jesus together

8/289/49/119/189/2510/210/910/1610/2311/611/1311/20Week 1- Sa b b a t hWeek 2- Sa b b a t hWeek 3- Sa b b a t hWeek 4- So l i t u d eWeek 5- So l i t u d eWeek 6- So l i t u d eWeek 7- Si m p l i c i tyWeek 8- Si m p l i c i ty Week 9- Si m p l i c i tyWeek 10- T a b l e F e llowshipWeek 11- T a b l e F e llowshipWeek 12- T a b l e F e llowship“Solitude is not a private therapeutic place. It is a place ofencounter where the old self dies and a new self is born.Henry NouwenThe Way of the HeartPracticing the way of Jesus together

There are a lot of spiritual disciplines that engage youin different ways. You engage in scripture, in prayer orin love in specific ways. Solitude is a practice indisengagement. It is disengaging from people, fromnoise and from activity.Solitude is not marked by what you do, but rather whatyou don’t do. You abstain from conversation. Youabstain from accomplishing. You abstain from gettinginformation. You abstain from performance. Youintentionally disengage from all of these things. This inactivity is markedly different than our typical hyper-active way of being. Our natural default setting is ON. And the only time we are off is when we are asleep.Solitude is intentionally disengaging everything toattend to God. St. Jerome said it best when he said,“We are never less alone than when we are insolitude.” Solitude is simply a practice in focused attention.SolitudeWhat it isWeek 1

Before tonight’s introduction on the practice ofsolitude, how did you view solitude? Where didthis view come from? How has your view ofsolitude been challenged tonight?SolitudeWeek 1 Group DiscussionsWhat thoughts, feelings or fears do you havebefore entering into this practice of solitude?Name them and become aware of them.Have you tried practicing a regular engagementwith solitude in the past? How did your firstattempt go? How long was your effort to thepractice of solitude sustained? Why did youstop?

Group DiscussionsWeek 1SolitudeHas anyone in your life modeled solitude foryou? What did their practice look like? As youimagine solitude in your life, where do you thinkyour place to engage in this practice will be?How does solitude sound different than yourregular prayer life? In what ways does it seemdifferent? Can you commit to 5 min of solitude each daythis week? How might you need to prepareyourself, your family or your roommate for thispractice to be as beneficial as possible?

.Were you more aware of God as you engagedthe practice of solitude? SolitudePrompts for Reflection on the PracticeHow did you try to still your inner noise?How did you end your practice of solitude?Was that intentional or unintentional? What thoughts kept entering in to your mind asyou practiced solitude? How did you usually feel after completing yourtime of solitude? If “nothing happened” in your time of solitudehow did that make you feel?What did you expect this practice to be like?How did the actual practice measure up to yourexpectations?

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Solit ude is a rel ati ona l s p ac e. I t i s a p l ac e f o r y ou an d G o d.Th ink of so lit ude as a dat e n igh t. F or a h us b an d a n d w if e ,th eir re lat ion shi p, whi l e a lw a ys pr e se n t, is pu s he d t o t h eba ck bur ner wh ile wo rki ng, pa ren tin g a nd hou sek eep ing . B uta dat e n igh t i s t ime aw ay fro m t he noi se o f t he ho u se to beto get her as hu sba nd and wi fe.Bu t w hil e d ate ni ght s a re usu all y f u n, so l it u de is al m os tal way s c hal len gin g. One of th e m ain re aso ns sol itu de isch all eng ing is th at it bri ngs th e u nna med an dun dis cus sed pr obl ems to th e s urf ace .In th e s til l a nd qui et p la c e o f s ol i tu d e, we se e o u r a ng e r, ou rje alo usy , o ur lus t, our se l fi s hn e ss . I t r i se s t o t h e s ur f ac e .An d w hen it ri ses to th e s urf ace it is al l t o o e as y t o d e ny it sex ist enc e o r s ham e o urs elv es at its ex ist enc e. I t i s a ls oea sy to dwe ll on the fa ct tha t w e a r e t he on e i n t h ere lat ion shi p w ho has me sse d u p a gai n.He nri No uwe n w rit es abo ut the me nta l t oll of co min g t osi len ce and so lit ude an d b ein g m et wit h o ur sho rtc o mi ngs .He sa ys “Th e s tru ggl e i s r e al be c au s e t he da n ge r i s r e al . I tis th e d ang er of liv ing th e w hol e o f o u r l if e a s o n e l on gde fen se aga ins t t he rea lit y o f o ur c on d it i on . ”In so lit ude th ing s a re bro ugh t u p t h at we do n ’t ne c es s ar i lywa nt to see , w e j ust wa nte d a ni ce dat e n igh t w i th Go d . Y et ,Ou r l ovi ng God po int s o ut our sh ort com ing s t o c all us to abe tte r w ay of bei ng. It is in th e a w ar e ne s s o f o ur br o ke n ne s sth at he beg ins to tr ans for m u s.SolitudeWhat it isWeek 2

How many of you in y o u r p r a c t i c e o f S o l i t u d elast week had a diff i c u l t e x p e r i e n c e ? W h a tmade this practice c h a l l e n g i n g f o r y o u ?SolitudeWeek 2 Group DiscussionsWas inner noise or o u t e r n o i s e t h e g r e a t e robstacle to overcome i n s o l i t u d e ? I n n e r n o i s ebeing thoughts of bo r e d o m , r a n d o m t h o u g h t s o rthoughts of unfinishe d t a s k s . O u t e r n o i s e b e i n gkids in the other roo m , t h e h u m o f c a r s d r i v i n gby or the buzz of you r c e l l p h o n e .Was there anything g o o d o r r e d e e m i n g a b o u tthis practice? Did th e c h a l l e n g i n g n a t u r e o f t h i spractice bring about a n y f r u i t ?

Group DiscussionsWeek 2SolitudeDid any topic seem t o r i s e t o s u r f a c e o f y o u rthoughts as you eng a g e d i n s o l i t u d e ? W e r e y o usurprised by any top i c s t h a t d i d a r i s e ? Were you disappoin t e d b y y o u r t i m e i nsolitude? Did you ex p e c t i t b e d i f f e r e n t t h a n i twas? How did you h a n d l e t h e d i s a p p o i n t m e n t i fit was present?What change do you m o s t n e e d t o m a k e i n y o u rpractice of solitude t h i s w e e k a f t e r l a s t w e e k ’ sexperience? Will thi s b e a n e a s y c h a n g e o r adifficult change?

.Does the time of day i m p a c t h o w p r e s e n t y o ucan be to the practi c e o f s o l i t u d e ?SolitudePrompts for Reflection on the PracticeWhat emotion was m o s t p r e s e n t i n y o u r t i m e o fsolitude this week?Do you sense or hea r G o d c a l l i n g y o u t osomething?Are you carrying exp e c t a t i o n s i n t o t h i spractice? What are t h e y ?Is frustration presen t a s y o u p r a c t i c e s o l i t u d e ?How are you attendi n g t o t h a t f r u s t r a t i o n ?What changes did y o u i n t e n t i o n a l l y m a k e t oyour practice of soli t u d e t h i s w e e k ? D i d t h e s echanges make a not i c e a b l e d i f f e r e n c e ?How do you experie n c e G o d ’ s l o v e d u r i n g t h epractice of solitude?

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Solitude is where co m p a s s i o n i s b o r n . M a y b e a betterway to say that is, i n s o l i t u d e o u r c o m p a s s i o n f o rothers is deepened.As mentioned last w e e k , i n s o l i t u d e o u r b r o k e n n esscan rise to the surfa c e . I n s o l i t u d e w e b e c o m e m oreacutely aware of our s i n . W h e n w e a r e m o r e a w a re ofour sin, we are mor e l i k e l y t o b e c o m p a s s i o n a t e t oothers who are strug g l i n g i n t h e i r s i n . I t i s i n o u rgrowing awareness o f t h e p l a n k i n o u r o w n e y e , t hatwe can more compa s s i o n a t e l y t e n d t o o t h e r s a r o undus with their own ey e p a i n . Henry Nouwen write s , “ T h e t r a n s f o r m a t i o n t h a t t akesplace in solitude ma n i f e s t s i t s e l f i n c o m p a s s i o n . ”The goal of solitude i s d e e p e r i n t i m a c y w i t h G o d . Andas we spend time in h i s p r e s e n c e , i t m a k e s s e n s e thatwe will be shaped in t o h i s l i k e n e s s . “ T h e L o r d , t h eLord the compassion a t e a n d g r a c i o u s G o d . ” SolitudeWhat it isWeek 3

Group DiscussionsWeek 3SoliitudeHow did you mental l y a n d p h y s i c a l l y p r e p a r eyourself for solitude t h i s p a s t w e e k ? W h a t s t e p sin particular helped t o g e t y o u i n t h e r i g h tmindset for your time w i t h G o d ? H o w d i d y o uprepare your family, r o o m m a t e s o r f r i e n d s f o ryour practice of soli t u d e ? After 2 weeks of eng a g i n g i n t h e p r a c t i c e i nsolitude, do you not i c e a n y c h a n g e s i n y o u rcompassion? Have y o u n o t i c e d y o u r s e l f b e i n gquick grace instead o f q u i c k t o j u d g m e n t ? W h a tother fruits have you n o t i c e d ?Have you noticed th a t c e r t a i n p e o p l e k e e prising to the surface o f y o u r t h o u g h t s d u r i n gyour time in solitude ? H o w h a v e y o u a c t e dtowards these peopl e d u r i n g a n d / o r a f t e r y o u rtime in solitude?

Have you felt this pr a c t i c e a s b e i n g l e s s“productive” than yo u w a n t e d i t t o b e ? W h e r edo you think this exp e c t a t i o n o f p r o d u c t i v i t y i nour spiritual practice s i s c o m i n g f r o m ? SolitudeWeek 3 Group DiscussionsHow do you think yo u r p e r s o n a l i t y i s e i t h e rsupporting or oppos i n g t h e p r a c t i c e o f s o l i t u d e ?If you are more intro v e r t e d h a s t h i s p r a c t i c ebeen as easy as you a s s u m e d ? I f y o u a r e m o r eextroverted, has thi s p r a c t i c e b e e n a s d i f f i c u l tas you imagined? Wh y ?Henri Nouwen writes , “ W e h o l d t h e d e c e p t i v eopinion that our wor d s m o r e i m p o r t a n t t h a n o u rsilence.” Have you f e l t t h a t y o u r t i m e i nsolitude is wasted? H a v e y o u f e l t t h a t t h e r e a r ebetter things that yo u c a n b e d o i n g w i t h y o u rtime than sitting alon e w i t h G o d ? H o w h a v e y o ucombated that?

.SolitudePrompts for Reflection on the PracticeOver the past three w e e k s h a s s o l i t u d e b e c o m eharder or easier for y o u t o e n g a g e i n ? W h y ?Which emotion was m o s t p r e s e n t d u r i n g y o u rtime of solitude this w e e k ?What would further e n g a g e m e n t w i t h t h epractice of solitude c o s t y o u ? D o y o u t h i n k t h a tis too high of a cost ? W h a t d o y o u i m a g i n eyour life could look l i k e i f t h i s b e c a m e a d a i l ypractice? What is mo s t a p p e a l i n g t o y o u a b o u thow your life could l o o k w i t h a c o n t i n u e dcommitment to this p r a c t i c e ?What has resonated w i t h y o u i n y o u r p r a c t i c eof solitude? Which a s p e c t o f s o l i t u d e h a s m o s tchallenged you?Where has the prac t i c e o f s o l i t u d e s t a r t e dimpacting other par t s o f y o u r l i f e ? B e s p e c i f i c .What does a realist i c e n g a g e m e n t w i t h t h epractice of solitudfe l o o k l i k e i n t h i s s t a g e o flife?

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Commit to practice s o l i t u d e f o r a p e r i o d o ftime. Then set a time r .*Remember: start sm a l l *SolitudeTips for this PracticeRemember to diseng a g e ! D i s e n g a g e f r o mtalking to people. Di s e n g a g e f r o m s c r e e n s .Disengage from info r m a t i o n ( i n c l u d i n g B i b l eReading). Start and end your p r a c t i c e t h e s a m e w a y e a c htime. Let a habit beg i n .When you are done. W r i t e d o w n w h a t t o o kplace. What did you f e e l ? W h a t d i d G o d s a y t oyou? Who did God p u t o n y o u r h e a r t ? W h a tcurrent sin was high l i g h t e d ? D o n ’ t r u s h p a s twhat happened in so l i t u d e t o o q u i c k l y ! One of the fruits of sol i t u d e i s t h a t y o u f i n dout what is true of yo u . B u t d o n ’ t f o r c e i t .Don’t try to have an “ e x p e r i e n c e . ” Practice solitude wh e n y o u a r e M O S T a w a k e .

Invitation to Solitude a n d S i l e n c e by Ruth Haley BartonSolitudeResources for further Study The Ruthless Elimin a t i o n o f H u r r y by John Mark Come rPodcast: Rule of Lif e b y P r a c t i c i n g t h e W a ySolitude 01, 02, 03, 0 4 & 0 5Spiritual Disciplines H a n d b o o k by Edelle CalhounSacred Rhythms by R u t h H a l e y B a r t o nThe Way of the Hea r t b y H e n r i N o u w e nCelebration of Disci p l i n e b y R i c h a r d F o s t e r