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CAROLINA MUSE Volume III No II June 2023 LITERARY ARTS MAGAZINE

Carolina Muse literary arts magazine VOLUME III NO II JUNE 2023 Editor in Chief Madison Foster Graphic Designer Ashley Pratt Dance Editor Rush Johnston Music Editor Jake Shores Poetry Editor Amanda Conover Short Story Editor Annie Earnshaw Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine is published seasonally online at carolina muse com Access to the magazine is free online It is set in Baskerville 12 point font with titles in DM Serif Display All content design images and videos are Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine 2023 and cannot be republished without written consent from both the creator and editor Multimedia art forms may hold exceptions to this Email carolinamuse arts gmail com with questions or comments

From the Editor So many of us live in a trance We have strict routines that provide us with consistency comfort I don t really blame us The world we live in is often unforgiving rife with hate and a meaningless fight for power money It s easy to want to hide in our shells But we must emerge When we reckon with what s happening in the world we feel the hard emotions that drive us to act create and be heard Books are being banned Women s bodily autonomy is being taken away People of color and the LGBTQIA community continually face terrifying hate crimes Teacher s curriculums are scrutinized restricted Guns are valued more than humans Prisons are valued more than support I could go on Today self expression in the face of discrimination is an act of bravery I am proud of the creators featured in this issue for using their art to express the struggles of living in the U S and particularly in the South today In this issue you will read a story about gun violence and poems about mental health You will see a music video that proclaims It s my mind my body so keep your laws off of me and art that speaks to racism You ll also feel hope in messages of familial romantic love as well as in tributes to nature It is my hope that we all wake up from our trance That we consume art and music and banned books to gain perspective empathy That we produce art that speaks to this and that we will never let ourselves be silenced Madison

Table of Contents Art Photography 7 Let s Float Sarah Schools 10 Prague Katie Wolf 12 Sunset Trolley Sydney Dever Mendenhall 13 To Jump Off A Bridge Kat Melheim 14 The Orb Katie Wolf 16 Warmth Abbi Shengulette 18 Tranquility Sheryl Sabol 20 The Blue NY Botanical Garden Yuko Kyutoku 23 For the Camera Abbi Shengulette 24 Celebration of the Body Reliefs Ellison Rauch 26 The Blue NY Metropolitan Museum Yuko Kyutoku 29 The Wave Sheryl Sabol 30 i wanted flowers from you too Ami Patel 35 Control Kat Melheim 37 Femininity Ellison Rauch 38 Sydney Sydney Hall 43 reflective technique at Old Orchard Pier in Maine NH Tammy Higgins 44 In Tension Katie Wolf Multimedia 8 Water Wild Roots Rising 19 Esmeralda Tamb m 27 Vivienne Westwood Luxx video by Funky Boy Productions

Poetry 6 swimming in the bathtub Keith Dugan 9 a secret manifesto Fasasi Abdulrosheed Oladipupo 15 Annotation Chris Mikesell 17 cold seashore Keith Dugan 21 swamp bear Leeah Heath 22 Star Field Whitley Akins 28 Flirty Thunder Nathan Vinehout Kane 31 Thorns Nathan Vinehout Kane 35 The Perseids Owen Auman 36 Scrape Mary Kennelly 39 Car Seat Confessional McKinley Johnson Short Stories 11 12 18 24 26 32 35 40 47 How do you lose A heart Samantha Weinstein Immersed Aaron Platt Sculpted Victoria Male Dotty Kayla Marie Ramey Wichita Falls John Garmon Other Acknowledgements 1 2 3 48 52 52 53 Front Cover artwork by Sarah Schools Ami Patel and Abbi Shengulette Masthead Letter from the Editor Meet Our Creators Credits Back Cover artwork by Sarah Schools Ami Patel

Poetry swimming in the bathtub Keith Dugan I ve died in bathtubs before And I ve fallen asleep and woken back up in them Dirty fresh and clean again Like nights on King Street or in Recovery Room into day and on the seashore I made storms in bathtubs that aren t there any more Rain battering down on dragons doggy paddling across the ocean In fields of lavender boys with crowns fight demons I was in that field a boy I am the boy waking up in the bathtub 6 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Artwork Let s Float Sarah Schools 7 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Music Water Wild Roots Rising Wasting all your power Trying to drown us out We protect the water From your oil money mouth Though you called us minnows And think that we re not loud When we work together We change the tide with sound it goes like Ooooooohhh oooooh ooooh ooooooh You don t control it Cause this land is stolen It s my mind my body So keep your laws of me You don t control it Cause this land is stolen It s my mind my body So keep your hands of me You don t control it Cause this land is stolen It s my mind my body So keep your laws of me Oooh oooh ooh ooooh 8 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry a secret manifesto Fasasi Abdulrosheed Oladipupo this night i let go of these dogs words on the look sentences on the search for a space in my poem i let go of the truth i can make poem of yet they come after every line of mine i buried the cleric of lust the memories of immoralities the dead of friends and the moments we could not share i say goodbye to their bodies of fantasies and the ontario i could not go with them i write a secret letter to those i could not love but loved me anyway i was too naive to call them liars an appreciation for all that did not give me their arms of affection they saved me of apologies and the curse of wanting to my mother i want to be more of a son more of a husband and father to these beautiful constellations of my world compasses of stars on the day the road becomes a leopard forcing me unto the end page of the earth to my father being man is more of hide and seek i miss you but i hide it from the day of your death pardon me being a poet is much of death thousands of song are buried in my heart a hundred of these elegies are meant for you some days i look back and see your seat empty i say emptiness of the balcony when the tree becomes a grief all birds become history the balcony i run to becomes a grave growing a tree of absence i say these secrets are no more secrets i miss you every time i miss myself some days i denounce being a man days the world asks me of my debts when i have no one to ask for refuge only your empty seat rocking to the swerving hands of wind days i become a photograph of emptiness walking down some aisle a room echoing elegies songs of longing there are dozens of ways to count your loss i count mine using stanzas a martyr who could not make it home martyrdom laying on a walkway 9 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Artwork 10 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story How do you the strangest feeling that something bad was going to happen I shook the thought out of my head controlled my breathing again and I went into school 7 10 hit lose A heart and everything was fine I was walking to class and by 7 12 I was getting shoved by a bunch of people running through my hallway I thought it was the football team causing trouble I entered my classroom and sat at my Samantha Weinstein desk mentally preparing for my exam that morning By 7 13 I thought I heard a scream When I was in my junior year of high school I took AP Microeconomics I had no idea about economics but When she was seven my sister put on a pair of scrubs as a costume and dressed up as a doctor She put on a fake stethoscope put the first few classes seemed easy so I stuck it out I was wrong about that It was the hardest class I ve ever taken to this day It was 7 13 in the morning and I was sitting it to her heart and tried to listen to her heartbeat at my desk about to take an exam I wasn t prepared for Five seconds later when she didn t hear a thing she I almost called in sick that morning from my anxiety freaked out for all of twenty seconds screaming I lost I wish I did because by 7 14 that morning I knew I my heart and then she saw that the earpieces were heard a scream and then a few more and then what plastic fake She made sounded like a distant drop my mom take her to the doctor later to reassure her I wish I did because by 7 14 of a stack of textbooks all falling perfectly at once that yes she did in fact that morning I knew I heard By 7 15 my school was in have a heart The doctor lockdown let her listen to her own a scream and then a few When I was in my junior heartbeat and when she heard the thump thump more and then what sounded year of high school sitting on the floor in a corner of thump thump she turned like a distant drop of a stack my AP Microeconomics back to my mom and told classroom I was focusing her that she wanted to be of textbooks all falling on my breathing I watched a doctor Ever since then that s all she s ever wanted perfectly at once red blue flashing lights I wondered what happened to be she never wanted to to my teacher because a be anything else or go into another field She was going substitute replaced her that day and that substitute just to be a doctor and nothing and no one could stop her so happened to look out of the window and without When I was in high school I used to stand in the same thinking said Wow those are some big guns So I spot every morning with my friends until the bell rang at stared out the window too and my breathing became 7 10 to make it to class by 7 15 I did this every morning harder to manage I also wondered what was happening The walk was never long and I usually got to my class to my phone as it was on the other side of the classroom a minute or two after taking off I drove to school every and even then I never had any reception in the first morning that was my daily routine Except for one place I wondered about a lot of things that morning as morning my junior year when I was driving to school I sat in the corner I sat like that for at least three hours and I had a feeling I was hit with the deepest wave of When I was in my junior year of high school I watched nausea that knocked me out for a few seconds I thought four policemen carry out a body bag that was stuffed I was going to throw up My heart started to beat a with the body of a boy I d known since seventh grade faster rhythm thump thump thump thump Then I got That year I learned how unexpected death was and what it felt like to stand in a hallway stained in someone Prague else s blood In my junior year of high school I d lost a Katie Wolf friend and I had to learn that people react differently to murder Some people want more blood to pour out 11 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story Photogrraphy they think justice is an eye for an eye Others believe that one dead body is enough and that no more blood needs to be poured They aim for finding peace I learned a lot about my friends that year I thought a lot about what I thought would be justice for my friend I thought about what should happen to the boy who took his life as I watched five other policemen drag him out of my school in handcuffs When everything finally ended and the lockdown was over I found myself being dragged out of my school and toward my mom When she held me I knew that her heart had come back to her again I heard her heart beat thump thump thump thump and I remembered that time my sister was crying with tears streaming down her face as a kid with a toy stethoscope attached to her chest screaming I lost my heart So while my sister s heart returned to her and my mom s did too I knew that I d lost mine and that I d never quite get it back I m still waiting Sunset Trolley Sydney Dever Mendenhall 12 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Artwork To Jump Off A Bridge Kat Melheim 13 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Artwork The Orb Katie Wolf 14 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry Annotation Chris Mikesell If on a winter s night a traveller Calvino She heard me say Queen of Denial but I meant the other one 1 I had tried like a Penzancian pirate2 or enfogged noir Chandlerian3 to insert myself as a credible suitor for naught my whisper apparently a mumble Sine dubio 4 as Cicero would have averred5 yet erred Los Corazones 6 mine and hers should someday be entwined Perhaps this was an Occidental7 mistake to try like soulmates seulement 8 to belong singly yet doubly as if the alternative to having not 9 nor holding were to live half a life Clearly her name Coral Sidewinder King10 should have warned me off but my double minded heart would turn and turn again 11 a dog s vomit the only parting party gift 12 1 Cleopatra 2 with catlike tread 3 mysterious 4 without doubt 5 claimed 6 the hearts 7 of the Western world 8 only 9 to have 10 snakes 11 return 12 the favor 15 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Artwork 16 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry cold seashore Keith Dugan Luck wind covering October ground holding your hand We can always party on Halloween But there is nothing like the neighborhoods I never lived in The normalcy that never was fleeting autumn love trick or treat baskets weird little gray pointed boxes sitting in seas of red and gold Lost in Translation and gold Nissans The Moon lying low in the sky It seems more and more like a race against time to appreciate the time we have but the past accumulates in my mind like fallen leaves on my windshield But I m driving again The Highway is dark Your hand is warm My windows are down and cold air sings to us its eternal solitude Warmth Abbi Shengulette 17 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story Photography Immersed Aaron Platt The sun never really set in the forest Late in the day it would simply fade draping everything in a gentle honey colored haze The oppressive humidity would ease as the temperature fell and we would all go outside While my parents took comfort in the old wicker chairs on the front porch we played in the narrow strip of yard that separated our house from the surrounding woods In bursts of energy we did the things all children do Toys and projects consumed us We might wrestle Tip our immensely loyal German Shepherd or swing off the low hanging hickory limb that survived Tranquility for years as the leafless appendage of an otherwise healthy tree Eventually we would grow tired Once calmed the amazing quiet of the place would strike me Windless and still the creatures of the day had ceased their movements but those of the night were not yet Sheryl Sabol out Only the conversation of my parents disturbed the silence at all Their soft murmuring voices were like the forest itself was preparing for sleep As a child I those spoken in church as if they might offend would try to place myself at the source of this great Pervasively the shadows would deepen under the power Ever elusive the center always seemed just a low lying dogwood branches In cloud like formations little farther away than the spot I had picked Searching these would grow and stretch until they touched one I would wander among the trees chasing rainbows of another in the spreading darkness It was odd You might sound in a place without light stand in one place and see perfectly well yet a few feet And there were nights when the moon rose with away it became a mask of ink And there among the such splendor that it lit the forest floor like noon Too darkest pools the lightning bugs would begin to glow magnificent to sleep I have looked out my bedroom They never come out in the daytime but I have seen window across a surreal landscape of shadows cut swarms of them at night It s impossible to despise these by swaths of moonlight An inescapable sense of harmless insects Easily caught they d amble across my foreboding lingered within its contrasts fingers pause and then stagger into the night with their As the night approached dawn I heard the owl call from tails involuntarily tracking a bewildered flight path a darkness so complete that it seemed even he must be Crickets and bullfrogs would begin to assault the lost silence of dusk First in regiments and then brigades But the veil always lifted And on countless one tiny voice would join another like some ancient mornings birds celebrating sunrise have awakened charging army Instead of many voices it became me to those bright first moments of another beautiful a single high pitched yawn which made me feel that new day 18 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Music Esmeralda Tamb m Portuguese Lyrics Breves horas amor Apareceu voc pela praia Minha alma apetecia Seus beijos toque aroma Seus l bios sensuais Fora de uma hist ria Ser m stica et rea H m gica em seus olhos Esmeralda encantadora linda t o bela Esmeralda linda sereia sua beleza me encantou Esmeralda linda sereia quem sabe como voc chegou Seus olhos cheio de saudade Chamada para o mar A terra n o para voc Para a gua deve voltar Como a gua se torna cinza A tempestade amea a o dia Voc volta minha sereia Esmeralda encantadora linda t o bela English Lyrics Short hours love You appeared on the beach My soul desired your kisses touch aroma your sensual lips Out of a story mystical being There s magic in your eyes Esmeralda enchantress Beauty so beautiful Esmeralda beautiful mermaid Your loveliness enchanted me Esmeralda beautiful mermaid Who knows how you arrived As the water turns gray storm threatens the day You return my mermaid Esmeralda enchantress Beauty so beautiful 19 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Artwork The Blue NY Botanical Garden Yuko Kyutoku 20 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry swamp bear Leeah Heath sipping on greens and pork broth from the soup bowl until i can see the dandelions painted in the bottom when the petals are yellow grandma asks us to tell her stories says that our people are storytellers but to me we are just pentecostals and powwow indians long denim skirts that hide our brown legs and long hair that goes down to our butts and no one can figure out if it s because we re bible thumpers or if it s because we re american indians the story i tell my grandma is about the black bear i see when i sleep and and the one who i watch lay on the big rock as he bathes in the sun when he calls me river rat i can see his big teeth but it does not scare me it makes me be by bear s rock is a river that curls through the tall buildings and tall trees and black bear urges me to jump in to swim swim swim river rat swim take off your skirt and swim so i do i do i take off my skirt and i swim i swim until i am no pentecostal nor powwow indian but i am still river rat licking clean my bowl of greens and pork broth next to grandma and black bear i am as happy as a river clam 21 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Poetry Star Field Whitley Akins An army of twinkling eyes stare back at me as the grass itches my arms and twirls through my ears I don t know if the glow is their eyes or their light to shine the way through the maze They speckle and flash hazy as they no longer become one solid form and turn to look me in the eyes No more crooked wheels and rusted chains they creek and glisten with the wetness of my breath It cracks and wheezes with each inhale and exhale I bury my fingers in the dirt and grasp at delphinium hoping it gives me color They are marching into battle armor at the ready feet perched on pedals fingers twitching but their bells are silent The only ringing in my ears is the panic telling me to crawl away or beg for mercy Any movement I know is theirs until the second the stars reveal that I am alone field of bikes staring back at me waiting for a passenger to guide them back I cough on the shimmers left behind in their wake the weeds circling my hands waiting for their first task I know I am ready when I taste the blood of dandelions and feel their soil whisper to me I am ready to thread between each weaved basket and ring their bells until I make music that calls upon the stars I plunge my feet into the earth and wait for the twitch in my toes I hear her call and take my running start 22 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

23 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3 Photography For the Camera Abbi Shengulette

Artwork Short Story Celebration of the Body Reliefs Ellison Rauch Sculpted Victoria Male So you re the so called excellent supplicant of mine who called me a bitch then vomited in my temple Pygmalia scrambled to her knees and pressed her smote on the spot for her drunken heartbroken rant at the goddess s temple last week Are you going to turn me into a slug Or curse me to want to bone my family head to the floor internally cursing herself regarding its Because they re mostly dead dusty state In Pyg s defense she had not expected the I might I should goddess of love beauty to pay her a visit this evening Pyg s stomach lurched Please I beg of you I am Or ever so sorry for how I acted last week but I mean can you Forgive me most divine Aphrodite though I do blame me Your betrothed dumps you for not wanting not deserve it to only pop out kids after the wedding I love sculpting Yeah you don t but get off the ground I want to just as much as I love any man yet none will have me if see your face for this I keep doing it Pyg did as she was commanded but she kept her Really Annoyance colored the deity s stunning gaze on the infuriatingly untidy floor below her out of ageless features She flipped a curtain of waist length deference Few mortals made it out of a confrontation hair from her shoulder to cascade down her back with Aphrodite alive and Pyg probably should ve been Because I ve watched you and it s clear that you re not 24 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story trying nearly hard enough to find one Ew Honestly I liked it better when you were Isn t true love supposed to be effortless Your son calling me out At least you meant that shoots us with an arrow and it s game over Aphrodite disappeared in another burst of light Trust me you don t want to be shot by Eros he s wind And just like when she d arrived it knocked been going buck with those arrows lately Aphrodite Pygmalia back flat on her ass She counted to five then disclosed with a very ungoddess like snort Besides it s dared to lower her hands from her face Her modest never that simple even with an arrow endearingly messy home bore no evidence of a visit Forgive me but from an Olympian prompting Pyg to ask herself Had Arguing with me about how love works That s a that even been real first Er pardon me What was wrong with her Who was dumb enough to She choked on her breath It couldn t be Ever so quarrel with a god let alone an Olympian Pygmalia slowly Pyg turned around while her heart threatened apparently She trembled as her mind supplied all the to thunder out of her chest horrors humiliations Aphrodite could no would Before her in the flesh was Galateo He was more subject her to beautiful than she could ve imagined Pyg stood slowly Meanwhile Aphrodite scanned the room for the first and approached him timidly as one moved toward a time since she d arrived She d been so preoccupied with skittish animal She didn t dare breathe the mouthy mortal before her that it wasn t until now Galateo like most sentient men was completely that she saw the statue A man so beautiful so lovingly oblivious to her rapture worshipfully sculpted it gave Where am I the goddess of beauty pause The corner of Aphrodite s it wasn t until now that Cyprus Where is that lips upturned into a cunning grin she saw the statue A man Greece Who are you You want a man who won t judge you Here I ll so beautiful so lovingly Pygmalia You are the most bring this incredibly cut worshipfully sculpted it gave beautiful creature I have ever statue to life He ll have no problem whatsoever with the goddess of beauty pause seen He spoke in a reverent sonorous baritone that made your craft but you have to Pyg s thighs clench May I make him fall in love with ask you one more question you or I ll turn you both into stone Anything Pyg gulped Both of us Who am I He d make a lovely addition to my rose garden You are Galateo And you were made for me don t you think She glided to where the statue stood Galateo smiled It was beatific He stepped down awing Pyg with her preternatural grace The marble from his pedestal Pyg giggled with giddy disbelief He man that Pygmalia had hewn was a revelation Her skill could move would go down in history But where was the fun in She reached for him Galateo met her encasing telling her that now Aphrodite shot a haughty glance Pyg in his arms Their kiss was nothing short of divine at the sculptor in question And you well my lovers Pyg s hands roamed across Galateo s body basking in need something for target practice I guess the feel of the warm skin that had been cold unyielding Most mortals knew better than to bargain with a marble mere moments ago His lips dropped to her neck god But the prospect of Galateo being brought to life making Pyg gasp then giggle again As far as her pact was too tempting for Pyg to resist I accept with Aphrodite went Pygmalia privately rejoiced that You have until the day of my festival she and Galateo had nothing to worry about it seemed That s frighteningly soon The pair was so engrossed with each other that they It s more than you deserve for your insolence didn t spot the small glowing orb hovering in the She was right so Pyg bowed once more Yes window outside It soared upward past the temple goddess through the clouds and into Aphrodite s palm The 25 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story Artwork deity s face was as smooth expressionless as stone as she watched the two lovers roll around on Pygmalia s dirty floor She turned to her son I give it a week Eros laughed His mother was so needlessly callous sometimes Hey that s harsh he chided her Give it two Aphrodite cocked a brow Each god extended a hand to seal their bet with a handshake The Blue NY Metropolitan Museum Yuko Kyutoku 26 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Music Vivienne Westwood Luxx video produced by Funky Boy Productions You and I tonight We can make it up as we go This girl her room s been covered in laundry Of which only she knows what s clean and what s dirty I should protect myself but it feels too good Every time you call I fall again and again Don t stare Don t care about it Can t breathe I can t think It s not fair without it It s all good I m just gonna fuck it up and you don t gotta worry about it I m shy I m so shy I m so shy I ll do whatever you d like I would tell everyone I ll tell everyone ur mine I would subject myself to whatever you had in mind Every time I fall in love again and again Don t stare Don t care about it Can t breathe I can t think It s not fair without it It s all good I m just gonna fuck it up and you don t gotta worry about it You re mine Your skin s pressed onto mine Feels so right I wanna do this all the time You re mine Even when it s nine to five Close my eyes Swear I can touch you if I tried My heart give it back No you can keep it Oh I don t need it like that You re mine Your body s next to mine Feel each other I feel you from the inside 27 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Poetry Flirty Thunder Nathan Vinehout Kane The sunset splashes across the sky red gold swirling with supple purple You slip your hand into mine smile ask if I want to dine Kisses swapped under streetlight their energy exchanged like lightning In Carolina only takes an hour for thunderstorms to coalesce Rain falls on pastel petals Damp clothes discarded The fresh scent of March mixes with sweet smell of unfurled rose The scene s motif stolen from a painting by Georgia O Keeffe slow strokes over gentle curves warm swirls teasing out the chemistry of laughing caresses leading to sweet dew glistening on leaf s bud Springtime s for sowing for easing spade into fresh soil planting the seeds for love to blossom 28 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Photography The Wave Sheryl Sabol 29 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

30 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine Artwork i wanted flowers from you too Ami Patel

Poetry Thorns Nathan Vinehout Kane The sky pools in water drops beading on red roses blue sky reflected in little diamonds like the bracelet I gave you Seven crystal hearts resided in its clasp multifractal gleams radiating the warmth of the coffee I brought you each morning Now glowing ribbons of smoke curl from the letters you sent me one final sigh from their roses dried Their thorns your laugh sharp enough to cut my heart 31 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story day enough to feel disgusted by the view Dotty I used to enjoy bein around her It was when I still lived at home about 2013 and I d sneak out to the porch to smoke my bowl She would come out too and Kayla Marie Ramey smoke her ninetieth cigarette as I told her about my day I definitely adored her when I was a kid We would cook together and feed all her outdoor cats To this day the smell of wet cat food always makes me think of her Ifound out my Grandma Dot used to beat her nine And I know that sounds weird but that s why the smell year old stepsons and claim it was the devil made has never bothered me her do it I wasn t surprised Not because she ever It was after I left home that Manic Grandma Dot hit me No she wouldn t have ever done that to me came out less often She became full of disgruntled I was her favorite Now that never stopped her temper apathy done being hurt by her son who couldn t stay from going off on others which I saw happen plenty out of jail and tired of lookin at her daughter who Voice yellin so quick her Maggie Valley accent made it always stared back with a forty year anger She was incoherent throwin kitchen towels at my cousins and sick of the insults made by my dad acting as though stomping across the house But she never hit me she were diseased when her smoker s cough kicked in I d also always known her to be fucking crazy nearly making jokes at her expense He laughed at her while my whole life During her manic episodes she was the she did all our dishes wondering why she couldn t ever good kinda crazy Manic Grandma Dot was sweet keep the kitchen floors dry as she moved them from amiable fun curious She liked to randomly dance the sink to the dishwasher something I notice that I sometimes and just about anything would make her struggle with too laugh til she nearly pissed herself It must ve been the So instead of anger Grandma Dot just moved into other Grandma Dot who abused her husband s kids the basement and built her empire of apathy But I the one she blamed the devil for know she always wanted Manic Dot back and I know It was my mom told me about it She said it very she knew we all wanted her back too And it was all I easily over a cigarette She was recounting when she could do not to feel complete pity anytime I looked at was 16 years old moving out because she couldn t talk her to my grandma without them both exploding on each A month after my mom told me about the abuse other And then she said it of her stepbrothers Grandma Dot fell and broke her I felt bad for leavin the boys but I had to get hip It was my mom took her to the hospital and picked out You know she beat them That s how she said up her prescriptions and cleaned up the place and it It wasn t any different sounding than if she had made sure Dot ate I didn t go see her while she was been reading off a grocery list A week after she told healing It wasn t cause I felt angry at her or anything me I thought about it again It wasn t information I just didn t think to I had my own shit going on awful that weighed any heavier on me than any other family roommates who left me with an 800 rent a car with a trauma I d heard But it was nagging a thorn stuck in shit carburetor you know shit my big toe or a dentist drilling in my numbed mouth But my mom called one day Said Grandma Dot s At that time I d already started hatin being around hip was still hurtin her even though the doctor s told Grandma Dot She was blaming the devil a lot then her it shouldn t and said that Dot was the lowest she d but this devil was homebound skipping showers for ever seen She insisted I go see her and I knew from the weeks staring at things blankly and grumblin to herself lump in my throat she was right with the deepest pitch I d ever heard from her Her fortress was a cluttered two bedroom apartment with conditions that couldn t have been listed for more than 400 a month even in today s economy It always had An old rerun of Days of Our Lives was playing on the a heaviness about it when you entered The place didn t small flat screen in the living room The hazy cream have many windows and she didn t have many working tinted actors on the show embraced one another light bulbs but you could see well enough during the You can come back home Charlie the older woman 32 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story said The volume was loud buzzing through the TV s her unicorn trinkets old Valentine s Day bears candy speaker The place was an empire that d lost her queen wrappers cough drops loose photos loose mail loose It was burned to the foundation I turned the mess mail So much mail Stains on her recliner that had the smell the trash into a tunnel in my mind I looked sunken in at the seat Three cereal bowls one fresh the straight ahead at the light coming from the kitchen other two with leftovers stuck like glue to the plastic I found her at the table eating mayonnaise topped stacked on an end table tomatoes from a Styrofoam plate I oughta clean some more in here huh Grandma Dot I said loudly Yeah it s pilin up huh I responded She jumped a little and had a small laugh Hey I grabbed the cereal bowls and took them to the I looked at the pile of dishes that sprawled from the kitchen The sink bins were loaded but I managed to sink to the stove There were flies fucking everywhere make enough room to rinse out the bowls She shuffled She d strung up fly tape all over one to each corner and in and grabbed the ones I d finished washing and dried one in the middle just for shits and they were all thick them black Thank you she said and shuffled out I followed Man you got your work cut out for ya huh I behind as she walked to the porch and sat on her stool asked I sat across from her in the camping chair and propped Yeah I know it I gotta get to that my foot across to my knee She lit a cigarette She took another bite of the tomatoes her tongue Hey I said It s been a while can I steal one stretching out to her chin with all the room her toothless Well sure She reached out her box to me and I gums allowed She always plucked one from the middle lost her false teeth which The place was an empire I pulled out the lighter from were then a partial version my pocket and lit of their once full set When that d lost her queen It was Shoot she said I left my cousins were little one of them found the teeth in the burned to the foundation I my lighter inside I gave her mine and told her she could recliner He held them up turned the mess the smell hang on to it and said Bite Bite It s a nice day You ain t gonna stand the trash into a tunnel in Yeah she said in a low up and give me a hug I asked her She giggled a my mind apathy I heard footsteps behind bit and stood to her feet us and saw my mom walkin hobbling over to one arm my side She rested her head down the hill just slightly on my arm making that awwh sound Hark who goes there I yelled at her that Grandmas make when they hug you Her hair was She walked up Huh greasy and week old tangled I said who goes there I repeated How you been I asked Oh well it s just me I reckon Good been cleanin today She stood for a moment lit her own cigarette as we I noticed a broom propped against the wall swept passed the normal how you beens and what traffic was crumbs and a couple of loose pills laying on the floor like by the bristles Yeah I just got off Made some good money You got some mail over on the TV stand She though my mom said shuffled me to the living room and handed me the Grandma Dot spoke up Good money huh pile It was junk credit card offers and bank notices I d Yeah What ve you been doin today she asked already gotten by email a month before Cleanin Grandma Dot replied It s pretty awful Thanks I said shoving them in my hoodie in there pocket The darkness of the living room lit up with my Well can t clean while your smokin adjusting eyes It was hard not to make out the mess Yeah Lance cracker wrappers on the floor boxes boxes of I can t say anything though cause here I am old mail stacked against the wall thick dust surrounding mom said before there was a small silence I didn t mind 33 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story Artwork my mom doin the talking in fact I was relieved for it For one I d missed her awful And for two I didn t know what the hell to say to Grandma Dot Mom your hair needs some help my mom said Yeah I know it When s the last time you showered Oh well I don t know Mom you ve gotta take care of yourself I know I was gonna shower today anyway Have you eaten Something besides candy Yeah I had one a those chicken pot pies Mom lectured her some more I chimed in and tried to be the encouraging voice You ll feel better after you shower I told her I d still be here after that I was gonna stay around the house and visit with everyone for the evening She conceded and went to the bathroom and started the water See what I mean My mom said I m startin to not know how to deal with her If you weren t here you know she wouldn t have gone to shower I know I said Well anyway I m glad you re here she hugged me you can stay down here with her if you want but I ll be upstairs We can watch a movie My mom left and I had the place to myself or so it felt I walked in the kitchen and looked at the hanging glue traps covered with flies I knew Grandma Dot would have to use a chair to take them down and that s probably how she broke her hip anyway So I took em down for her After digging around the drawers for a while I found a pack of more and hung them up all fresh new I noticed her trash can overflowing take out boxes and an empty bag of adult diapers had fallen to the floor I gathered it all up and tied it As I walked out of the basement apartment I passed by the bathroom and heard her shower still running It sounded like she was grumbling to herself but then I realized she was hummin I think it was a song she was making up as she went along something I notice that I do too Control Kat Melheim 34 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry The Perseids Owen Auman Two rooms down from mine the old man is screaming obscenities at the nurse again Everyone is an asshole It s too damn early for this bullshit He breaks out into a military bugle reveille and my neighbor across the hall leaves his room To add his voice to the growing chorus of voices letting the old man know that he in fact Is the one being an asshole I m not talking to you I m not talking to you I m not talking to you he responds From my bed I can see the lights outside twinkling through the holes and gaps in the old wooden fence separating the psych hospital from the apartments on the next street A bat swoops past my window and reminds me of a night watching a meteor shower with my sister at Jordan Lake The stars twinkled in the dark sky and meteors swooped quickly into and out of sight Someone leaving turned on their bright lights before leaving the viewing area blinding everyone Everyone is an asshole 35 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Poetry Scrape Mary Kennelly You ask me to scrape myself to the bone and then unflinchingly scribble myself out onto a pristine page for you but in truth you simply want a different lie You disdain the lesser mask I show to most plastic bright and in control but hope only for the mask you love the quieter sweeter wiser and together mask What would you do with all my truth I do not know how to begin to love myself so for now I ll serve you up this painted veil pinned to my face with smiles and platitudes 36 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Artwork Femininity Ellison Rauch 37 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Artwork Sydney Hall Sydney 38 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Poetry Car Seat Confessional McKinley Johnson The last time I went to church it was well past 3 a m and I was alone in my car in an Office Depot parking lot that night I tried my best to make a pastor out of a poem turned secondhand stereo into a hymnal prayed in a pew of fading black leather lit not by candles but by the faint orange of dashboard indicators It was much easier to go to God there the yellow streetlights softened Him made His grace more believable placed us on even footing the peeling film on my rearview mirror refracted moonlight into Jesus better than any stained glass window ever could I hoped God would be louder there gentler how odd it felt to demand His voice call to Him through His silence beg Him for a floorboard revelation What a shame then that even in that lot I heard nothing The glow of the check engine light began to creep its way into the sky Out of threat of a dead battery I ended the service and started the car Any chance of God s voice was once more drowned out by the hum of the motor 39 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story Wichita Falls John Garmon Charisse That was it Cyd Charisse She was a beautiful actor but most of all a dancer She even danced with Fred Astaire and it was beautiful to see her dance with Gene Kelly I thought there was no one who could ever be as beautiful as Cyd Charisse One thing I remembered most was that she was born in Amarillo Texas only fifty miles from the little Texas town where I was born A movie review once used a perfect word to describe her sinuous She was a tall willowy brunette a native Texan I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world I was only ten when I thought that and I compared her to Ashley the girl who lived across the street Ashley was the woman who gave me a new life with high hopes Just being near her made my body feel good She was eight years older than my age not the age of Cyd Charisse who was probably about forty years old at the time Ashley was a gorgeous eighteen year old tall brown hair brown eyes and my idea of what Cyd Charisse was like or would have been like at Ashley s age And Ashley had a beautiful personality She was a friend to my mother or maybe she was looking for someone to talk to someone who would listen My mother was a gregarious waitress at Minnie s Caf a popular place where the local farmers truck drivers passing through could stop for one of Minnie s special chicken fried steaks simmering next to mashed potatoes and sausage gravy accompanied by two of the most delicious yeast rolls with butter Minnie s best My mother always talked with Ashley I think Ashley sought her out Ashley needed to talk to a grown up Her family was a difficult jumble of people always coming going She had two brothers one already serving in the Marines and one who was a senior in high school and a star fullback on the local team Her father was in Wichita Falls That s the way people in my hometown would refer to someone who was a patient in the state s mental hospital People would say Oh he s in Wichita Falls and everyone would have a solemn look on their faces and nod their heads as if they understood and they wouldn t say anything more Anyway my mother loved Ashley from the start She felt bad that Ashley s mother suffered from some kind of disorder some malady that meant she couldn t communicate with adults her age and she couldn t communicate with her beautiful daughter My mother was the only adult female that Ashley could talk to I didn t understand it at the time but Ashley was one of those beautiful girls that the other girls her age didn t like My mother said they didn t like Ashley because she was so beautiful and the boys all wanted to talk to her and they tried to date her but she wasn t interested She would come over to our house almost every morning when my mother was having a cup of coffee and getting ready to leave for her day of waitressing Ashley would talk to my mother about anything She felt that kind of freedom There was nothing they couldn t or wouldn t discuss I know this because I hid like a demon in the bedroom next to the kitchen which was where they sat and talked They were unaware of my existence or so I thought Ashley was treated like a non person by people her age The girls avoided her and the boys salivated over her with their lustful thoughts She tried to ignore the way she was treated especially by the girls Most of them had been her friend when they were in grade school but as she blossomed into a fully dazzling female they probably were afraid of her or they didn t like the way the boys talked about how beautiful sexy she was She talked about this with my mother who comforted her with compliments and reassuring words You re just fine Mother would say They ll eventually come around Teenagers are still trying to figure out who they are and what they should do in their lives Ashley liked hearing that but she told my mother she just didn t want to deal with those former friends who treated her as if she were being shunned She said she had tried to be friends with the girls who had been her friends when she was in high school but now she was out of school and hoping she could get a job so she could earn enough money to go to college It was better for her now that she was no longer in high school She didn t have to go places where she would be around her former friends and classmates Sometimes she cried when she told my mother about her father and how he ended up in Wichita Falls She said he couldn t find a job anywhere and that gave him lots of stress because her mother couldn t work He had no skills only yard work or collecting trash and trying to sell it at our local junkyard He had been getting by with a pension from his service in the army in World War II but that wasn t enough He had been depending on 40 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story earning money from doing odd jobs around town That nurses He yelled at them I fought in the war for you hadn t worked out too well and he started feeling sorry and I can t even get help for my family for himself Ashley said he began to go downhill and They had to take him to Wichita Falls It was a she could see him getting up early each morning and cruel thing for the family but Ashley and her brother going out to see if he could find a job to do for anyone found jobs that brought in enough money for them who might pay him I found in my eavesdropping that and their mother to live Some of the neighbors and he got money from my mother She had paid him to church people came and helped It was that way People paint the storage shed behind our house I didn t realize would step in and help but they usually didn t until the he had been the one who painted it I was hardly ever at situation became almost impossible Ashley worked at home because I had a job at the local weekly newspaper the library dusting and shelving books sweeping the learning how to operate the Linotype machine and floor and doing other jobs to keep the place in good helping the editor make up the pages sometimes with shape for the readers who loved the few books there handset type I usually didn t get back home until after Her brother the great athlete worked for a local service five Child labor laws were unknown in my hometown station that served cars coming through going east and they wouldn t have been considered anyway At age west on U S Route 66 He pumped gas checked oil eleven I got my social security card and went to work fixed flats washed windshields and generally helped as hoping to be another Mark Twain first a printer s devil much as he could They had enough money to get by then later a journalist a reporter but Ashley s dad was just too ashamed and embarrassed My dad always worked for the farmers outside about not being able to be the main breadwinner She of town plowing cried when she told and planting and harvesting so he People would say Oh he s in my mother about what happened The whole wasn t home until Wichita Falls and everyone would town knew about most late each night and he didn t do much on have a solemn look on their faces of it Naturally secrets are hard to keep in the weekends except get extra sleep and and nod their heads as if they small towns and our town was not a safe maybe sneak off to the understood and they wouldn t say place for secrets local beer store for a few rounds with his anything more Sometimes things between Ashley and friends My mother me got a little weird I knew he did this but she didn t want to question him didn t think they were weird but I hoped people didn t about his work since he brought home enough money know what happened between us They might have to add to her earnings at her waitressing job come to the wrong conclusions I was about ten and Things were bleak at Ashley s house and her Ashley was eighteen and we were both different from father finally couldn t cope He started knocking on the other kids in our town What we did together was doors around town and demanding that his neighbors innocent I m not ashamed of it Ashley said it was our give him work to do He got angry if they said they practice for being adults We were kids who were lonely had nothing for him He screamed at them What the and cut off from our community Being an eighteen hell do you think I m going to do to feed my family year old Ashley usually took the role of teacher It was They were afraid he would become violent Things her idea to teach me how to kiss At first I felt awkward kept getting worse and he threatened to burn down a about it but after a while I began to enjoy it and barn at the edge of town if the owner didn t give him look forward to it She said everyone should practice a job The local deputy finally came and took him to kissing with the person they most trust She wanted Amarillo to the veterans hospital where they kept him to practice with me but I think she really wanted to for observation to see if he was okay and what could have a boyfriend although she didn t think she was be done if he wasn t He couldn t take this He had to ready I was completely non threatening Some would get back to Ashley s mother and Ashley and her brother say that she was too old to be doing things like kissing He just started screaming and attacking the doctors and with a boy who was barely into puberty but I liked it 41 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story and she made sure we never did go beyond kissing We did it because we were stuck with each other while our parents had other things they had to do As I ve said Ashley s mother was not able to function as an adult and her father was confined in the mental hospital in Wichita Falls We gave each other feelings of security I think we gave each other a sense of belonging and being important if only to one other person She was important to me and I was important to her We had many private kissing sessions and I always enjoyed them We tried French kissing as she called it but I thought it was too gross so she said it was okay with her if we didn t do it anymore The important thing was in a way we belonged to each other as friends I see now that we needed the comfort of another person to give us a sense of connection After kissing we often talked Ashley would tell me stories about her father and how much she loved him and missed him After telling me this she would always start crying I would feel awkward and try to comfort her by hugging her and telling her everything would be okay and we would go on needing each other and taking care of each other I learned that she was sad angry about the way the other girls her age in her high school classes were mean and she couldn t ignore the ways they rejected her They shunned her She was smart pretty and they didn t like her because she had an independent streak Her actions showed them that she didn t need their help or acceptance but I know she was hurt because they rejected her We spent a lot of time talking with each other about our lives and what we were going to do when we were old enough to leave our little town and go out on our own Her dream was to be an airline flight attendant and after that she said she would go to college and become a businesswoman and maybe get to be a top female executive in a large corporation in Amarillo or even Dallas or Houston I was too young to know what I really wanted to do although growing up to be a journalist was an appealing possibility I wished I could live in a city where they had parks and libraries and theaters I wanted to be involved in many kinds of interesting and challenging activities with other people Ashley wanted that too desperately She often talked about it and ended up weeping and I would hug her and give her a few kisses and she would hold me and weep even more Sometimes she would kiss me so hard that my lips were sore the next day She missed her father with all her being That s the way she put it I miss him with every atom of my being I worried that she missed him too much that she was too sad I told her I was afraid sometimes that she would hurt herself by being too sad and angry especially towards the girls her own age that she had gone to high school with They weren t even close to being as nice as she was and they hated her because of her beauty and her intelligence Despite the way she was treated in high school she did her class work very well She earned excellent grades Her teachers liked her work Some of them told her not to worry about not being liked by her classmates They re just being jealous one teacher always reminded her And Ashley loved her dad so much that she swore to me that she would help him get out of the hospital at Wichita Falls I didn t think there was much she could do for him except write him letters and tell him that he was going to be okay and she looked forward to his return from Wichita Falls Our relationship went on that way including the practice kissing and I felt lucky to have such a great friend who was older than I was but someone who understood my feelings We got together after school in the house where Ashley lived with her mother and brother There was always privacy in the living room so we spent time there being careful not to be seen holding each other and kissing as much as we could I loved kissing her She had soft lips and she pressed them against my lips in a really loving way So that day after we had been kissing and hugging for a few minutes she told me what she was going to do I m going to go get my dad she said in a soft firm voice He must be free I know they re not treating him right He ll die in there if I don t get him out She had saved nearly a hundred dollars and I gave her twenty dollars from my own savings It was enough for a bus ticket to Wichita Falls She said she would decide what to do when she got there and saw her father I was against it I told her I was afraid she might get hurt or she might get lost or someone might attack her She was so beautiful I just knew there would be men who would be trying to kiss her and this made me feel jealous or afraid for her However I didn t try to talk her out of it I just said I wanted her to be careful I couldn t imagine what she would do after she got off the bus in Wichita Falls I was afraid of losing her I didn t want her to go but I didn t think I could stop her For the next few days her plan to save her father kept working on my mind I knew she had to do it but I thought she would be in 42 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Photography Short Story reflective technique at Old Orchard Pier in Maine NH Tammy Higgins real danger And I didn t know how she was going to disappear from her home and not be there and then her brother would alert her mother who couldn t do anything and the whole town would be involved in her sudden disappearance But she didn t care She told me she would be gone before they could figure out what she was doing and she d be on her way to Wichita Falls before anyone had a chance to stop her She was smart in the way she did it She first bought a bus ticket for Amarillo and told people she had decided to go shopping and maybe look for a job in the big city Then when she got to Amarillo she bought a ticket for Wichita Falls She told me later that it was an adventure but she felt anxious about being caught and returned to her home before she could complete her journey and bring back her father In my ten year old mind I didn t think there would be too many complications but I didn t think of what might happen She was taking big chances and she told me later that when she was finally on the bus she was more afraid than she had ever been I thought it was the bravest thing anyone could ever do The town got into an uproar of gossip and conversation about where Ashley was and why she was missing I wanted to tell my mother what was happening but I had promised Ashley that I wouldn t expose her plan The local deputy sheriff got into the act and he promised people he would find Ashley He called the highway patrol and the Amarillo police and reported her as a 43 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

In Tension Katie Wolf missing person I didn t have any way to warn her that she was being hunted or that people were making all kinds of assumptions about where she was and having the scariest ideas about her that she might have been kidnapped or maybe even worse since our town was on the main highway that crossed the country and any kind of person might be passing through Everyone worried about Ashley It was a time before cell phones so there wasn t any quick way to check out where and when she disappeared Her brother was more upset than I expected I had thought he was indifferent to her existence and he wouldn t care if she vanished But he went to all the people who knew her and the people where she worked asking if they knew anything Secretly I was proud of her and I hoped she would make it to Wichita Falls without being caught And she did She told me later what happened She said she was afraid when she got on the bus in Amarillo and for the first twenty or thirty miles she thought about telling the bus driver that she had made a mistake and she wanted to go back but she calmed down and watched the wheat fields from the window of the bus She said I had a feeling that I was finally free that no one could stop me that I was going to Wichita Falls to save my dad When she arrived it was the middle of the night She sat on one of the long benches that reminded her of church pews in our hometown The people who ran the bus station asked her what was happening She told them she was waiting for her father to come pick her up She said he was delayed so she wanted to wait for a while until he came to get her Since Wichita Falls was a big town the bus station stayed open all night so she stayed as long as she could sitting there with her small suitcase beside her Some people began to worry about her and a woman who worked as a cleaning lady asked her if she would like to come home with her and return the following day to see if her father had arrived to pick her up Ashley said she wanted to refuse the woman s kind offer but she had a feeling that she would be safe so she went with the woman She found out that she was with a good person She was treated well The woman lived only a few blocks from the bus station and Ashley walked with her to her home It was a nice clean place 44 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story and the woman was friendly She treated Ashley as she would her own daughter who was married and living in Oklahoma City She gave Ashley her daughter s bedroom where Ashley slept like an exhausted baby as she said when she later told the story The next morning she fixed a nice breakfast which was devoured by a very hungry guest and she walked with Ashley back to the bus station About half an hour after the woman left Ashley walked outside and approached a cab driver who told her how much it would cost for a ride to the state mental hospital She had enough cash so she told the driver to take her to the place where she knew her father was being held Carrying her suitcase and feeling afraid again she walked up to the main building where the cab driver said she should go There was a big reception area waiting when she opened the door It had many chairs and tables There were long overstuffed sofas along the walls and big framed paintings hanging in places where the light from outside came into the high ceilinged room At the end of the room was a desk where a receptionist woman sat She looked at Ashley and smiled Good morning How can I help you Ashley didn t know what to say but she was surprised by how quickly she came up with the words I m just stopping to visit my father I m on my way to Oklahoma City and I have a little bit of time and I thought I would come by here and say hello Would that be possible The receptionist was cordial She asked Ashley what her father s name was She checked in a large ledger at the edge of her desk and said Yes I see Here it is I ll have to see if he is available Please take a seat while I have someone locate your father Ashley took her suitcase and sat on one of the large sofas near the receptionist s desk The woman picked up a telephone that was on the desk and dialed a number In a moment she was talking to someone and giving the person the name of Ashley s father She told the person on the telephone that Ashley s father had a visitor The receptionist was an attractive middleaged woman brown hair brown eyes who seemed impressed by Ashley s beauty composure She spoke to the person on the phone then said thank you and hung up She turned to Ashley and said Oh my dear I know you ll be very disappointed but it seems a visit would be a problem Our visiting hours are not until this afternoon and there would be a problem allowing any of our patients to come to this area for a visit at this time of the morning I m so sorry Is there any chance you could come back this afternoon Ashley had to think fast I ll have to change my bus schedule for Oklahoma City but I must see my father I ll see what I can do That would be nice the receptionist said We wouldn t want you to miss visiting your father Ashley thanked the woman and picked up her suitcase and walked outside She went to the wide sidewalk in front of the large building that seemed to be the central building of the Wichita Falls mental hospital There was a park bench there next to a city bus stop She sat down and began to think about what to do After sitting there in the morning sunlight she decided it would be best to wait There might be a way to see her father if she could think about it long enough if she could imagine some kind of strategy that would allow her to get in to see him She cried just thinking of it As she took out a handkerchief and dabbed at the tears she shed thinking about her father a woman she hadn t seen before approached her and sat down on the bench next to her They said hello to each other and the woman said I think I can help you I m a nurse here and I have the night shift but I know the other nurses and they might help us Although it s against regulations I may be able to get you in to see your father Ashley was excited and happy to hear the woman s words She said she would do whatever was necessary to get to see her father He really shouldn t be here she said He was put here because of family problems He is normally a very good person who doesn t cause trouble I understand the woman said I ll do what I can to get you in but you must remember that if anything goes wrong I don t know you and I was with you because I was trying to catch you and get you to leave Okay Yes Ashley said I ll be very cooperative They walked back into the huge building with its double doors and Ashley put her suitcase behind one of the long sofas near the front of the reception room Then she noticed that the woman sitting at the receptionist desk nodded and smiled at the nurse who was showing Ashley the way into a door that led to a hallway where there were rooms for the patients They walked quickly and the nurse stopped at a door and knocked It opened slightly and someone only the nurse 45 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Short Story could see said Yes What is it I know they ll be coming to get you in a little while Ashley felt tears in her eyes when she heard the voice I ve missed you so much my angel You are just as you of her father He opened the door wider and looked at always were Tell me how will you get back home her and smiled with surprise I have a round trip ticket she said but I don t You can go in for just a little while the nurse who want to go back without you had accompanied her said I ll be here outside the It ll be okay he said I think I ll get to go home door and I ll let you know when you have to leave Be in just a few weeks What s important is that you can get ready when I say okay out of here and get the bus back home Yes Ashley said and she stepped into the room to Then the door opened and the woman who had let give her father a big hug She couldn t stop her tears Ashley in said it was time for her to go We mustn t let Her father was overwhelmed too He kept saying My anyone see you are here she said Let s go quickly daughter Ashley I m so glad to see you I can t believe Ashley kissed hugged her father one more time it s you You re here How did you do it and then followed the woman out into the hall and to Some nice people let me in she said I m sure where the big reception room was where her suitcase I can t stay for long I m supposed to be ready to leave was hidden behind the sofa They made it to the big just as soon as they see someone coming who knows I double doors leading outside and Ashley carried her shouldn t be here suitcase down the steps and along the sidewalk to the Okay her father said This is the happiest day of bench at the bus stop She felt relieved that no one had my life My own daughter appears to me like an angel detected her presence or her short visit with her father It s a miracle Let me hug you again They hugged She was glad that she had taken the chance and she had and Ashley was shaking seen him if just for a short with excitement They sat together on the single bed in They forgot that no one said time She caught the bus back her father s room anything when her father to the main Wichita Falls I love you so much Dad she said I want to was loaded up and sent bus station and waited there for the next bus going to her take you home You don t belong here I want to find a way to get you out of here away for incarceration in such a state hospital hometown She was happy that she had been able to see her father On the bus and take you back home back she was so tired that Her father was almost speechless He had never she went to sleep immediately She felt that she must thought he would see Ashley in the place where he was have slept for several hours When she woke up it was being kept as a patient He understood that she had dark and she could sense that the bus was getting closer been sneaked in by the good people who always treated to her hometown It arrived before midnight and she him so well He didn t want her to get into trouble He took her suitcase and walked the four blocks back to her didn t want the people who helped her get into the home Once inside she was surprised that her mother hospital to see him get into trouble He asked her many was awake questions about her mother her brother her neighbors I m so glad you re home her mother said and she the whole town He said it was his own fault that he was hugged Ashley and cried Everyone has been looking there in the state mental hospital in Wichita Falls for you I hope you re okay Where did you go Oh it s I want to get out of here he said but it would be okay You can tell me all about it in the morning too dangerous for you and me They would come after She hadn t seen her mother so wide awake and excited us and I d be back inside for an even longer time She wondered if she would be the same the next She could see his point Whatever they did would morning put them back deeper into trouble She said she The next day it seemed the whole town was buzzing understood but she was glad she was with him again about Ashley s return She was a prodigal maybe even and she hated to think of leaving a Lazarus Everyone wanted to know where she had The people who helped you were taking an awful been and why she disappeared the way she did One chance her father said I can t believe you re here minute she was present the next minute she was gone 46 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Short Story I felt powerful as one who knew all along what she was planning and then what she was doing During the time she was missing I had been the only person who held her secret and I had also been someone who feared that she might not make it back safely She took a huge risk I had tried to talk her out of it but I knew she was determined to go to Wichita Falls and get her dad and bring him home She might have been able to do it but just being able to get there and see him and then make it back was almost something miraculous Even the girls Ashley s age who had snubbed her and made her feel shunned were kind to her and appeared to want to be her friends I wasn t fooled by their false behavior but Ashley apparently felt complimented by their attention and she had always wanted to be friends with them just as they had been her friends when they were younger The people in the town were all talking and asking questions mostly questions pointed toward my boss the editor of the smalltown weekly newspaper Soon the whole story came out and the townspeople were concerned at first then angry about the fact that Ashley had loved her father so much that she had to escape where she lived and go all the way to Wichita Falls to see her dad and try to help him get released so he could come back home Most people agreed that it was a shame that a young woman of eighteen had to go through such a risky ordeal just to find her father and try to bring him home They couldn t find a local culprit so they began to ask where Ashley s father was held before he had to go to Wichita Falls They got their answer It was blamed on the doctors at the veterans hospital in Amarillo People began to talk about these big city doctors of Amarillo as though they were the ones who sentenced Ashley s father to his confinement in the state mental hospital at Wichita Falls They forgot that no one said anything when her father was loaded up and sent away for incarceration in such a state hospital They started looking for the facts like who signed the order to transfer Ashley s father to Wichita Falls They found the doctor s name and someone suggested a lawsuit Enough money was collected to hire an attorney Word must have traveled to Wichita Falls because a telegram came one day announcing that Ashley s father had been declared safe sane and he would be on the next bus back to his hometown However with all victories there are bound to be losses The experience of going to get her father changed Ashley She was a topic of the news She got an offer from a bank in Amarillo to be in training to become a teller and eventually maybe a bank officer if things worked out well She was given moving expenses and assistance to find an apartment near the bank where she would be working in Amarillo She was thrilled the townspeople were happy and her father came home to a happy reception People even told him they were sorry he had been treated so badly The loss was mine I no longer had a hugging and kissing friend I would lie awake some nights and try to remember how wonderful it was to kiss her and how she kissed me She had taught me that kissing can be good and she said if two people cared for one another they shouldn t feel bad about kissing and hugging unless one of them wanted to go further People around town found lots of odd jobs for Ashley s father to do and they paid him enough so he could take care of his family expenses Ashley did a great job as a teller at the bank in Amarillo She then enrolled in night classes at West Texas State University which is now West Texas A M University in its location only twenty miles from Amarillo After a few years passed I had the honor of becoming a high school graduate and one day I was in Amarillo to join the Marines I had been influenced by a poster that showed a handsome Marine with the statement The Marine Corps Needs You After I signed the papers for my enlistment I went by the bank where Ashley worked She was just as beautiful as ever She smiled and tried not to show her excitement when she saw me I told her I was going to be heading for San Diego for recruit training in a few days She said she was proud of me And she kissed me and we looked at each other I think we both remembered all the time we had spent together and we laughed and hugged each other After I served a four year enlistment in the Marines I didn t go back to Texas I didn t get to see Ashley again but I have been told that she did well in her bank job and one of my cousins said he heard that she married a banker in Amarillo I never got back to see her again Once I was watching classic movies on television and I found a film showing Cyd Charisse dancing with Gene Kelly It was good to see how people stay young fresh once they re captured in a movie 47 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Meet the Creators Meet the creators Sarah Schools comes from an artistic family and was encouraged to flex her creative muscles at a young age She finds inspiration in the Lowcountry landscape of the Carolinas mark making of the 20th century impressionists and the unique ways light shadow and color interact That inspiration took her to Appalachian State University where she received her Bachelor of Arts in Graphic Design Since then she has worked as a graphic designer and artist This background in graphic design has led her to experiment with digital mediums and methods of creating art She now resides in Charleston South Carolina Ami Patel is a 2020 UNC Chapel Hill graduate from Asheville North Carolina currently residing in Raleigh North Carolina Her passions reside in entrepreneurship health and the arts Ami is a lover of hiking yoga hot tea Haruki Murakami novels anime and kittens At any cost she is led inevitably by her heart and explores the concepts of love nature and the world beyond reality Through incorporating elements of light and darkness her artwork is focused on abstraction and centers around the intersection of chaos order all in hopes to better understand and connect with the earth and people around her Born raised in Apex North Carolina Abbi Shengulette recently graduated from UNC Greensboro Although art wasn t their major she made a point of taking at least one art class a semester and in doing so rediscovered their love for creating art Their preferred mediums are acrylic paint photography but she has recently branched into 3D art She likes to create representational art and wants to continue to be inspired by the unknown and the unpredictable Her work deals with subjects like isolation self exploration Follow their art progress on Instagram Ac3s_H1gh Keith Dugan was born in Pickens County South Carolina to transplant parents from New York For the majority of his childhood he felt as if he didn t belong where he was born raised and he felt disconnected from others The feeling dissipated as he matured and moved away from the upstate to Charleston South Carolina Gradually he began to appreciate all that South Carolina has given him the natural beauty of the upstate and lowcountry his lasting friendships and an amazing college and young adult experience at the College of Charleston South Carolina will always be home for him from the memories he s made there and no matter where he goes Wild Roots Rising is an indiefolk band led by songwriters and instrumentalists Julia Houghton and Olivia Moore Both Julia and Olivia attended Weaver Academy in Greensboro NC which is where they studied music and formed their group Taking influences from classical music latin music Appalachian music and more they create a unique and modern twist on folk music Their debut album Wild Roots Rising released in 2021 and they have been traveling and sharing their music since The band currently resides in New Orleans but often comes back to North Carolina for tour Fasasi Abdulrosheed Oladipupo is a Nigerian poet and academic writer and the author of a microchapbook Sidratul Muntaha Ghost City Press 2022 His works have appeared or forthcoming at Ambit Magazine Southern Humanities Review 48 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Meet the Creators Poetry South Louisiana Literature Obsidian Literature and Art in the African Diaspora Welter Journal Santa Ana River Review Stand Magazine Oxford Review of Books Scrawl Place Olongo Africa Roanoke Review Watershed Review and elsewhere Oladipupo s poetry has received a number of nominations as well including Best New Poet Best of the Net and Pushcart Prize nominations He has great flair for language and sees poetry in everything Oladipupo tweets from FasasiDiipo Samantha Weinstein resides in Swannanoa North Carolina where she is a senior at Warren Wilson College Currently she is working on attaining her Bachelors of Arts in creative writing She has lived in North Carolina since the age of three and admires the nature beauty of this state She has been an editor for her own school s literary magazine The Peal and their undergraduate research journal Auspex This will be her first published piece COVID lockdowns As someone prone to anxiety overthinking abstractions became an emotional outlet a way to create without planning or over analyzing each color paint stroke A way to play with methods and materials mindfulness A way to connect more deeply with intuition environment and self Kat moved to North Carolina in late 2021 and continues to draw paint and create Chris Mikesell visited the Carolinas in the early 2000s while his grandmother and an uncle s family lived in Carolina Lakes Sanford North Carolina While he was only there a short time the sense of exploration wonder he found continues in his life poetry He has spent most of his life in San Jose California central Western Oregon and currently north of Dallas Texas where he teaches high school English and sponsors the Poetry Club His work has been published internationally in GRIFFEL Norway and domestically in The Quarter ly Journal diet milk magazine and elsewhere Sydney Dever Mendenhall is a photographer adventurer and philosopher from Bethesda Maryland She can be recognized by the Fujifilm x100f that is always around her neck Her work has been exhibited at numerous art shows including Windridge Winter Frost Snow Juried Art Exhibit and the Benjamin Gaither Center Art Show and it has been published in Eidolon magazine She deeply loves Carolina because her family members have been stationed at Fort Bragg North Carolina Kat Melheim she they is a coffee roaster writer and artist based in Raleigh North Carolina Though first trained in Rosemaling a hyper specific stylized form of Norwegian folk painting Kat began experimenting with abstract expressionism in mid 2020 during Aaron Platt s parents were both wealthy eccentric Although surrounded by a forest in a house built at the end of a one lane dirt road Aaron attended private school in Atlanta before graduating with a degree in geography from the University of Georgia His father s roots were in South Carolina One ancestor was taken into Confederate Intelligence after his British family began running in guns rather than textile machinery This man s service continued past the end of the war and through S C s long Reconstruction Aaron Platt authored Oceans of Steam a loosely based novel about his ancestor s spying Sheryl Sabol resides in Charleston South Carolina She is now pursuing her passion for creativity as a freelance photographer Sheryl loves squares the shape of her photos water sunshine 49 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Meet the Creators nature architecture interesting angles and joy Her photography process is definitely intuitive and she hopes her photography brings others as much joy as it brings her Check out her website www sherylsabol com or follow her on Instagram sherylsabol Tamb m is a woman led quartet based in Durham North Carolina specializing in the Brazilian musical styles of bossa nova samba and bai o The brain child of pianist Ingrid Nora Knight and percussionist Deborah Rosengarth they released their debut album entitled Esmeralda last October along with a music video of the same name that was directed by visual artist Emma Finley Inspired by the alter ego of Boone native Ingrid Nora Knight Esmeralda tells the story of a lovely but ephemeral mermaid and was filmed in a tiny house that Knight built with her husband Yuko Kyutoku is a contemporary artist based in New York She was born in Japan She completed a bachelor s degree in fine art at SUNY Purchase College and her master s degree in art therapy at New York University Yuko s artmaking process is transformative She loves visiting museums galleries reading literature watching films listening to music and meeting other artists She gets inspiration from these experiences and makes art based on them She feels that life experiences open up many opportunities and make her artwork richer more personal and more unique It spoke to her and she thought it was similar to what she expresses in her art as well as her art therapy practices as it is focused on people and the relationship between people experiences in her life Carolina Muse s mission is to provide a multi sensory immersive platform for young adult creatives that reveals the way various art forms can work together to tell the true stories of our human experience which resonated with her Being included in a fantastic publication like Carolina Muse is an honor Leeah Heath is a junior at North Carolina State University in Raleigh North Carolina and is pursuing a degree in English with a concentration in creative writing She is originally from and grew up in Fayetteville North Carolina and the surrounding areas where her family has resided for generations Leeah is also a Lumbee native an indigenous tribe based in Southeastern North Carolina This background is what inspires her literary themes of indigenous identity in the American south along with family culture and womanhood that take place in her fiction poetry Whitley Akins is a fantasy writer born raised in Wilmington North Carolina She received a BFA in creative writing from UNCW Her non fiction piece It s a Virgo Thing is featured in The Seahawk newspaper Whitley loves vegan baking tea tarot astrology K pop and any fantasy book she can get her hands on Her inspiration for poetry fantasy worldbuilding comes from her love of music escapism where she transports herself into the world she is creating Her fiction centers on sexuality infinite potential universal trauma and bringing secrets to light Within her poetry there is a focus on the obscure and the uncomfortability in things that appear beautiful Ellison Rauch is a North Carolinabased artist who is graduating with a BA in studio art from UNC Greensboro and runs a small business Purrfectlyfine Art She loves working with every material under the sun and continues to learn grow in her art Their work mainly deals with subjects like femininity bisexuality and mental health Working with mediums like wheel thrown ceramics hand built ceramics metal casting metal sculpture welding quilt making resin casting drawing and mixed media Want to see more of her work Check out their website https purrfectlyfineart square site or follow her on Instagram purrfectlyfine_art 50 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

Meet the Creators Victoria Male she her is a proud alumna of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and called Charlotte home for eight years Now based in Los Angeles she s worked in creative development at The Montecito Picture Company and Graphic India Her prose has appeared or is set to appear in The Chamber Magazine oranges Journal Dark Horses Magazine Retrospect Journal Infinity Wanderers Danse Macabre and All Existing Magazine A shrewd adaptor of biography history and mythology Victoria seeks to celebrate the complexity and the breadth of the female gaze in her writing plays and poetry She also enjoys acting creating collage art Owen Auman he they is a transmasculine poet raised among the dairy farms and red clay hills of Sophia North Carolina He now resides in Cary North Carolina with his cat Dirk who is a great comfort during these troubling times He frequently writes about the intersections of gender sexuality and mental illness in his life Some of his work will be featured in new words press later this year Funky Boy Productions is a creative agency and event promotions team led by Anderson South Carolina native Mabel Kitchens Funky Boy Productions is dedicated to serving independent musicians through individualized creative consultations as well as community based DIY forward performance opportunities FBP is honored to be selected as a part of this Carolina Muse edition support local music local musicians and local venues Nathan Vinehout Kane is an environmentalist community organizer and writer currently living in Chapel Hill North Carolina with his partner cat He grew up on a dairy farm in western Wisconsin where the land s grassy hills pine forests and river carved bluffs fostered in him a love for nature that weaves through his writing and has shaped his professional career He has a BA in creative writing from Macalester College in Saint Paul Minnesota and will be pursuing an MFA at Iowa State s Creative Writing and Environment program in the fall Kayla Marie Ramey has two cats and tries very hard to keep her houseplants alive She moved to Boone from Asheville North Carolina to finish her creative writing BA at Appalachian State University Kayla writes short stories screenplays stage Mary Kennelly lives in Glin County Limerick Ireland hailing originally from County Kerry She spent a glorious J1 working summer in South Carolina in 1990 She fell in love with many things but particularly with the musicality of the accents all around her When she returned to Ireland she spent many years working in education and the arts She wrote published over the years in her spare time but she finally gave up her day job in 2022 to concentrate on her writing Her works include Sunny Spells Scattered Showers Carroll R Kennelly M Glenwood Press From the Stones Fitzmaurice B Kennelly M Evensong Publications Catching Bats Takes Patience Kennelly M Liberties Press Splinters Fitzmaurice B Kennelly M Evensong Publications and Into the Grey Kennelly M Evensong Publications Sydney Hall is an exhibited published artist who primarily works digitally but also dabbles in other mediums including metalwork and charcoal portraiture Her work addresses darker themes such as emotional responses mental health fear the unnatural and death These psychological undertones are based on Sydney s personal history of mental health and responses to loved ones deaths As someone who is closed off when expressing complicated emotions art is the one way 51 Vo l u m e I I I N o I I Ju n e 2 0 2 3

Meet the Creators Credits she feels comfortable sharing her true self Sydney is currently a senior pursuing a Bachelor of Fine Arts in new media and design at UNC Greensboro She currently resides in Surf City North Carolina not far from Wilmington where she was born Originally from Georgia McKinley Johnson has spent the past four years calling North Carolina home while attending High Point University McKinley treats his poetry like a sandbox constantly moving between digging up the past and burying the present in his work Outside of writing he spends his time chasing opportunities for joy which for him usually look something like a cup of coffee some loved ones and a chance to find wonder in the mundane Tammy Higgins is 56 was born raised in Northern New York and is living in southern New Hampshire She has been published in various literary magazines such as Barbaric Yawp Noble House and 2019 Best New Emerging Poets of New Hampshire She was also published in Samhain Secrets of Irish House Anthologies and has three photos in the Connected World 2020 Los Angeles Center of Photography among a few others Her connection to the Carolinas is time stationed at Fort Jackson South Carolina in 1984 basic training and AIT Tammy fondly remembers the men women she met who were born in North and South Carolina and were regular Army or weekend warriors credits Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine is a multimedia arts magazine showcasing primarily young adult creators in the Carolinas Our mission is to provide a multi sensory immersive platform for young adult creatives that reveals the way various art forms can work together to tell the true stories of our human experience We publish short stories scripts poetry art photography music dance in a digital multimedia format on a tri annual basis Whether you submit a document image file audio file or video file our team loves to see creators test the boundaries of their art form to bring their passions interpretations experiences and messages to life Want to add your voice to the arts community of the Carolinas Submit your creative work to carolinamuse arts gmail com within one of our three open submission windows to be considered The subject line of your email should read Your Art Form Your Title by Your Name Please view the specific requirements for your art form at www carolina muse com submit Once you submit your work one of our editors will be in contact with you in the following weeks regarding your submissions status and possible next steps Carolina Muse is proud to have a collaborative editorial process in which exchanges between creator editor may be needed to get your piece to its highest potential We do accept simultaneous submissions however we ask that if your work is accepted elsewhere communication remains transparent timely We reserve the right to edit short stories for grammar mechanics clarity and consistency with the magazine s style We also reserve the right to edit video submissions for consistency with the magazine s style 52 Carolina Muse Literary Arts Magazine

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