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Ilene Segalove CAREERS H

HHHH Ilene Segalove CAREERS H HHHH 2 3

COP Y R IGH T 2 0 2 2 BY I L EN E SEGA L OV E A L L RIGH T S RESERV ED H 2 1 ST C E NT URY B OOKS BY I L E N E SEGA L OV E 2 Dreams 3 Dreams 61 Dreams 42 Dreams Mom Dad Stumbling Blocks On Career Day 1966 I met a handsome astronaut man He convinced me that even with my poor grades in trigonometry I could easily get into the NASA Space Program He was wrong Here s to John Glenn Ilene Segalove

CONTENTS PROLOGUE 9 H ALAN 13 CHUCK 15 CINDY 17 CHARLIE 19 DAVID 21 ELAINE ELLIOT 23 GARY 27 GENE 29 JILA 31 JIM 33 LIZ 36 MANUEL 37 MARILYN 41 RAYMOND 43 RICK 45 ROBERT 47 SALLY FRANK 49 SOOZI 51

PROLOGUE A CAREER IS AN OCCUPATION THAT TAKES up a lot of a person s life with opportunities for progress Career is actually derived from a 16th century word denoting a racecourse based on the ancient Latin carrus meaning wheeled vehicle Wheeling into somewhere else Something better Sometimes high schools offer Career Day That s a chance to meet people doing what you might want to do when you grow up Doctors and lawyers and accountants show up and talk about how great their professions are and how you should choose to follow in their footsteps Professors pastors and architects espouse the upside of their choice to spend forty years teaching preaching and building Astronauts might even show up along with TV actors and the owners of baseball teams They all share their deep feeling of fulfillment in their chosen vocations Then they demand you face the future and threaten you with It s later than you think Sometimes Career Day begins with a little speech by the principal What do you want to be when you grow up he asks Do you have an energetic pull a strong calling Often the students are distracted by other callings like lunch or perhaps the feeling of someone s knee rubbing against their thigh What if you don t have a calling What if your momentary strong urge is washed over with the busy ness of daily life What if it gets squelched by just getting an ordinary job What happens to that underlying zest the human urge to be To be what Sometimes callings don t always pan out Sometimes nagging thoughts or inklings just evaporate Even a loud summons can simply be a fleeting moment in a sleeping kid s dream in the middle of the night 9

H FAME 10 11

ALAN H A LAN WAS COVERED in mud He had no clue how it happened There he was standing at the stop sign sporting his new pair of black and white oxfords and kaboom Mud Everywhere His shoes were crusty his socks a bit wet and his hair felt sooty Alan looked around to see how this could have happened but the street corner was spotless and there was not a bush nor a pile of sludge nearby Alan was on his way to the nearby post office to buy some commemorarative stamps This visit he wanted to collect the J F K Memorial John Muir Woods and the 1964 New York City World s Fair blocks of four He was a philatelist but secretly he liked licking stamps and envelopes and anything else that had that delicious flat sticky adhesive stuff on it He also sniffed model airplane glue in his bedroom closet The euphoria was short lived but beautiful Alan got to the front of the line and asked for his stamps The man behind the counter pointed to Alan s nose Alan pointed to the stamps framed on a giant corkboard The man pointed to Alan again Alan realized something was wrong His left nostril did tickle a bit He hit his nose hard with his index finger and paid for his new stamps Dirt After the purchase he went into the gas station to take a peek He examined himself carefully in the foggy mirror but nothing was out of the ordinary He wondered what was up with the stamp man but instantly lost interest when he peeked into his bag Alan pulled out the set of four John Muirs They were large and enticing He licked smacked his lips and wandered into the bright sunshine to make his way home Alan grew up and became a letter carrier 12 13

CHUCK C HUCK WAS UNCERTAIN about his future He only recently discovered he had one But one day he saw a science fiction movie It was set one hundred years ahead That jolted him out of his reverie Living in the moment allowed him to be happy He was fulfilled and in awe of the miracle of life But now he got anxious Suddenly he needed to get a calendar Suddenly he was on pins and needles Should he find a wife Should he register for college Should he write a will Should he plan tomorrow s lunch menu His head started to spin He d never felt overwhelmed before He began to drink coffee Red Bull was useful for list making He slept poorly He didn t like the abstract limbo of thinking ahead The future hurt Chuck saw a psychiatrist and began to take antidepressants He used sound bowls for calming therapy He bought a BioMat to realign his nervous system But he couldn t undo the fact nor could he forget that there was a future right ahead of him and he better figure it out Chuck grew up and became a sheet metal man 15

CINDY I T WAS LATE Time for bed But Cindy s curtains weren t ironed properly Linen never hung right Others liked its carefree demeanor but she preferred heavily starched cotton She took out her plastic spray bottle and began the ritual of flattening out the wrinkles Cindy was a fussbudget Her mom didn t understand her daughter s tastes so imposed her own design sense The bedroom reeked of bright red plastic flowers and old Christmas candy threaded on yellow ribbons Cindy figured it was better to keep quiet than fight She preferred black white and little else Where did she get this neutrality Her ancestors on both sides were colorful Hungarian gypsies wildly expressive souls who never cleaned under their beds They were musicians singers and mystics with no time for fussing Perhaps Cindy was just plain rebellious and took issue with the mess of her DNA But that was so long ago Two generations at least As she ironed she repeated a ditty her grandmother taught her Got nothing but sensation truly rocked from head to toe Got something to complain in Felt my trouble now I m old It s too tiring to remember It s too tangled to set foot It s too bitter to pluck feathers It s too simple to get booed I found colors in the attic I found ceiling lights aglow I dropped into tight knit bat caves And I fell a step below Soon the children will be carbon Soon the parents will be holed Cuz the humans got to thinking And the thoughts rammed up and sold Cindy grew up and became a restaurant hostess 16 17

CHARLIE C ONCEZIO BETTER KNOWN as Charlie wasn t happy with his ears No they didn t stick out Truth was they were just so tiny His ears looked like they came from a G I Joe doll They were about one inch in length and appeared to have just popped out of a plastic mold Charlie did all kinds of things to hide them from other people s glare Once strangers or even family locked eyes onto those things it was all over They couldn t stop staring Charlie naturally took to wearing alot of hats earmuffs and distractions like feathers or big glasses or funny colorful bowties It was all about misdirection Sometimes he wore a mink Russian earmuff set for sleigh rides But Charlie didn t have a sleigh He finally spoke to a plastic surgeon The man smiled knowingly and said You have Bilateral Microtia They are darling The doctor got out some soft warm clay and took impressions of the tiny fleshy specimens This guy wanted to keep them safely well their replicas after he did whatever he could to enlarge their visibility The doctor told Charlie his condition was a kind of birth defect Little ear as it is translated can affect hearing but Charlie heard just fine Charlie grew up and became a handyman 19

DAV I D D AVID SPENT as much time as possible staring up He loved the night sky and bought a student telescope to get closer to the firmament He did drawings of ancient visions of the heavens using a compass of course These vast domes encapsulated the terra firma along with dramatic faces of the Westerly winds blowing hard on the below In English class he had just learned the phrase As above so below His teacher explained what happens in the macrocosm happens in the microcosm His father suggested this sounded like occultism but David understood it differently He intuitively knew what As above was all about He figured he d learn so below just by growing up David s dad was concerned his son was developing an over arching curve in his cervical spine He d often ask David to tilt his chin to his chest and count to ten David enjoyed that exercise because it gave him a peek into the so below part Usually though he d just see dirt accumulating on the kitchen floor or his own two feet David loved gazing at his favorite constellation Ursa Major or the Great Bear when it was lit up and the right time of year Somehow standing and allowing his heavy brain to fall backwards in his head gave him a rush of spaciousness and awe He sometimes felt like he was the first Homo Sapiens who ever walked the terra firma But instead of clomping forward to grab a mate or beat an enemy standing up felt more like a blessing a chance to embody the As above so below David grew up and became a roofer 21

ELAINE ELIOT E LAINE AND ELIOT are twins They always got along and shared the same friends who they d have over for dinner every Wednesday night Their mom would make everyone grilled cheese sandwiches toasted and cut on the diagonal and tomato soup right out of the Campbells soup can But recently their mother took a job and the twins had to fend for themselves Elaine and Eliot spent no time pining They just dove into the fridge and pantry and spice cabinet and made concoctions of their own First they tried to do recipes for say a great hors d oeurvres like tater tots baked and then stuck on a stick with dipping sauce made from mayonnaise and ketchup and garlic But that got boring and tedious Instead Elaine would make a secret treat for Eliot and Eliot if he didn t vomit later would make a treat for Elaine Some of their eatable potions were benign like Cheeze Whiz and baking soda spread on the moldy end slice of white bread with a sprinkle of corn starch and nutmeg as garnish Some of their mashups were more suspect like Elaine s version of the Greek tzatziki which she called tza caca It was yogurt and chicken broth and a raw egg but blended until foamy and then dumped on top of a taco shell that had been coated with Wesson oil They were so like minded that they never discussed whether they d eat the other s secret potion Neither ever got more than an occasional upset stomach They also never thought of their concoctions as food either but more as tonics or magic potions Sometimes their creations even tasted good But not often Elaine and Eliot grew up and became compounding pharmacists 22 23

FORTUNE

GA RY G ARY WAS TOO YOUNG for gas He ate a solid breakfast of eggs and toast but after a lunch of chicken onions and radishes at the junior high school cafeteria he felt just awful What s that organ on the right side under the ribcage he pondered It hurt Oh it s the spleen Or is it the liver Organs made Gary cringe Many things did Gary s went in to see Mrs Warder the junior high school nurse She said Gary it s just gas Nobody is too young for gas She explained that we re all surrounded by gas Plants exhale oxygen People exhale carbon dioxide Gary liked plants and thought about the pretty bright green maple tree in his backyard But mostly Gary felt confused What is gas really Gary had just begun seventh grade chemistry and gas was something that Mr Brown said it was out there Gary pondered if it was in here too He didn t really know He hadn t yet learned about the periodic table or methane gas and cows causing all kinds of environmental hazards It was really all about gas Nurse Warder suggested Gary take just one Tums from the green packages in her black patent leather purse She said Chew it slowly then swallow A tums for your tummy Then she smiled Gary chewed and wandered into the hallway lined with metal lockers Just then two smart aleck boys belched loudly and chanted Greetings from the interior Gary cringed What did they know that he didn t Gary swallowed the Tums looked up at the asbestos ceiling and then he felt a soft poof sound pop out of his mouth It was effortless It was a relief Gary felt better Was that gas Gary grew up and became a landscape designer with a specialty in sprinkler systems 27

GENE G ENE LOVED Mikhail Nikolayevich Baryshnikov the famous Soviet ballet dancer Gene wanted to jump as high as his idol On a good day that was six feet with a flowing upright body Gene practiced secretly over and over in the basement with the super high ceiling next to the water softener in his parents big house He felt ballet was the doorway for him to return to the mystical source of the good things in life Gene kept his fascination to himself Although he wanted to take ballet lessons he could never tell his surgeon dad about it But when Gene watched Baryshnikov on TV Gene became a believer in the beauty of an afterlife and was convinced Baryshnikov with every leap was knocking on heaven s door One night Gene dreamt that a thunderbolt hit him hard on the head He shot up and leaped backwards over his parents house in one fell swoop He woke up and pretended he was sick He stayed home from school to practice diminutive leaps around his bedroom Baryshnikov was small like five foot six or so Gene figured small is good When his mom knocked on the door he pretended he was asleep He didn t want her to know that he thought he had just had a direct experience of God Gene grew up and became a backflow plumber 29

JILA J ILA WAS HAVING her tenth birthday as usual on Thanksgiving with her parents and their friends at a French hotel in San Francisco Her name was really Julie but Jila pretended to be French and Jila sounded French After the coq a vin with all the trimmings her cake arrived Eleven candles were all lit up But there it was in all of its ugliness It was the predictable double layered cake decorated in drab brown frosting that said Julie in red sprinkles with a big old turkey hand drawn smack in the middle Jila never had a cake with a cool person in costume colorfully displayed on top like an astronaut or a modern dancer or even a torch singer like Edith Piaf Always a turkey One of her parents friends gifted her a tall narrow package wrapped in gold paper Jila was horrified It looked like it could be a bottle of Tweed perfume or some cheap French cologne Jila didn t like girlie stuff Or at least she didn t want anyone to think she did A wave of fear rushed through her small frame She was too scared to open it up in front of everyone and disappoint them with a sour frown Jila was overcome with panic She jumped up grabbed the key from her mom and ran to her hotel room A housekeeper knocked on the door and asked her to come down to the restaurant She just couldn t No one knew what was going on Jila eventually privately opened up the scary gift terrified of what she might see Instead of cologne she saw a very sporty Timex wristwatch with a leather band displayed on a plain vertical cone Far from girlie this was something she actually wanted Jila was ashamed Eventually she went back down to the restaurant wearing her new watch Nobody uttered a word Jila grew up married Michael and opened up a French Bistro 31

JIM J IM WENT TO THE DESERT with his parents every Easter vacation After eight hours of lying around the pool he d get super bored Jim would sneak back to the motel room crank up the A C and watch TV The TV had only one channel It featured a simple Fahrenheit thermometer a circular clock and a large barometer all installed crookedly on a wood paneled wall This was a live feed meaning Jim could watch the time go by Jim hated the heat of the desert But he loved watching the thermometer more than the clock because every now and then he could see the temperature move He had to keep his eyes peeled Sometimes his eyes ached and teared from staring so hard Most of the time nothing happened One day as he sat with eyes glued something did happen A sign popped up that said We have just lost sound and picture Do not adjust your set There had never been any sound Or had there been He turned up the volume and then got scared that he d just adjusted his set What might happen He kept watching The sign had stayed on for at least a few hours when Jim s mom rushed in and screamed Always fooling around with the temperature aren t you as she stared at the A C Jim grew up and became a heating installation expert 33

LIZ L IZ HAD AN ASTROLOGER She met him in Poetry and Time a special class for exceptional students Better three hours too soon than one minute too late Her teacher would quote Shakespeare too much The only reason we have time is so that everything doesn t happen at once That was Einstein but the teacher Mr McFadden said it was Shakespeare too McFadden invited an astrologer named Blaine to discuss the time and space of the moving cosmos Three students were allowed to have their astrological charts done Liz raised her hand first Since the class was about time Liz was time conscious She was very excited to get his advice But nothing he said panned out The next 365 days were supposed to be the cat s meow He was thrilled that her Jupiter transit was in her house of Self It was going to be fun again But it wasn t It was the same ol same ol Liz got desperate and met him after class He tried to assure her Don t worry March 5th is a day of great joy connection and full of wonderful surprises It s going to be great Well that s tomorrow Liz said She knew her days We ll see Liz felt badly when she told him he d been totally off base He said she expected way too much and that her vision of a good day was very different than his vision of a good day March 5th happened She decided it was worth taking pictures of her happiest of days She pulled out her instamatic and waited for the extraordinary She slid into the kitchen to get some Tang It didn t dissolve but she took a photo of it It was gloomy and there was no sunrise She took a photo of the gray nothing Breakfast was a soft boiled egg crumbled into its shell She took a picture of it What was a great day Maybe expecting nothing was a great day Her Mom stormed downstairs in her bathrobe and screamed Why are you using up all of the flash bulbs Liz grew up and became the manager of a 1 hour photo 35

MANUEL M ANUEL LIKED TO SKIP rocks across the lake behind his grandmother s cabin After he cleaned her living room and porch with Lysol he d inhale the scent of a good job put on his hat and go outside to practice Tilt the front edge of the stone slightly upward then adjust your aim his cousin Saul told him over and over Manuel was a good baseball player and as pitcher he often had a pretty great striking record But rock skipping was different It required more finesse patience and quiet The applause of a crowd egged him on The silence of the lake made him nervous Finding a flat triangular shaped stone wasn t always easy but once he had it he needed to take his time This wasn t like throwing a fast ball although hugging the stone with his index finger lightly wasn t that different than getting the baseball to fit in his hand just right He needed calm water He needed peace After some success Manuel would wander the shore of the lake and would watch the algae growing It was a humid world up there and life was unabashedly taking off in all directions Every now and then Manuel would carefully distribute a small amount of Lysol from the spray bottle he carried in his pocket into a sequestered area near the shore He d watch the magic of it turn the water from greenish goo to pure clear in no time It felt powerful and purposeful to give the lake a little shock now and then Manuel grew up and became a swimming pool and spa technician 36 37

HAPPINESS 38 39

M A R I LY N I T WAS CHRISTMAS Marilyn s aunt picked her up from her weekly weight training workout and together they drove to the mall Marilyn s aunt liked the bling of Tiffany Co But Marilyn felt slightly embarrassed Since she came from some money she felt she should play it low key And so she decided to pick out the least gaudy object Tiffany had for sale Marilyn gazed into the brightly lit cases glistening with small pricey precious treasures The high voltage recessed lights did wonders with the diamonds but the gold vibrated the most I want that I want that But Marilyn also wanted to be restrained She had to admit she was body building to show off tattoos not fancy jewelry She scoured the cases carefully and finally saw The Bean Next to it on a turquoise card it read The bean represents the origin of all things There was a sterling silver bean a rose gold bean a black jade bean and a yellow gold bean Marilyn asked the sales woman about the bean I don t know much because I m new here she said as she pulled out the solid 24K yellow gold bean necklace and displayed it carefully on a black velvet tray I was just told it was a powerful symbol It means the start of something fresh Marilyn reached for the flat black bean but her aunt snatched up the solid gold one and had it wrapped up Just like that Marilyn was ashamed This didn t feel at all like a new beginning Somehow it felt like a new ending Marilyn grew up and became a customer service representative at a bank 41

RAY MON D R AYMOND WANTED to invent the most accurate way to tie his shoelaces He had always rushed through the process but now that he had a bad cold he had nothing better to do He slowed down and studied what tying a shoe was all about He did it from both directions He double knotted He did it while looking at it backwards in a mirror He learned ladder lacing crisscross lacing and one handed lacing He even did it high on too many Tylenols Raymond didn t tire of this pursuit Quite the opposite He felt better after doing a few ties say four or five in a row super slow He developed a new relationship to laces to shoes and to his feet He was in awe of how the foot rolled when walking He took great interest in the soles of shoes and the distinct imprints they made in wet dirt He began to massage his feet with exotic oils he stole from his mom s bedside He lusted after an exotic Indian copper pot with colored glass marbles on the bottom for foot stimulation that he saw on TV Raymond s grandfather wanted Raymond to become a podiatrist But that meant becoming a surgeon and investigating pathology and hydroxyl phosphate Raymond wasn t really interested in chemicals or bones He was interested in nicely designed eyelets and laces Raymond grew up and became service manager for The Walking Center 43

RICK R ICK COULDN T THROW out a thing His mom called him a collector but it was worse than that Not only did Rick keep all of his toys from childhood but also anything he found on his walks That included a lot of spare change bottle caps rubber bands glass pieces parts of boxes and plastic bags Plastic was a new thing and it was great to find a wad of Saran Wrap or a sandwich bag that wasn t totally contaminated by food His stuff was pretty much jammed into boxes he made from cardboard parts he found that he Scotch taped together and then pushed into his closet Rick did have a private habit He liked to quietly depart from his bedroom early every Tuesday morning garbage day and peek into his neighbors packed up refuse Before the big trucks showed up to clean up he d be out nosing around He d wear his mother s rubber gloves cover his head with a winter cap and tiptoe around the hood He d keep his eyes peeled for empty envelopes discarded containers from freshly purchased products like toothbrushes and mascara and tin cans that had labels that pleased him He was pretty proud of his Van Camp s Pork and Beans collection and his Hunt s Manwich and the exotic Del Monte Fruit Cocktail cans Rick s dad told him his room was a crap bin His mother told him he needed to make friends His art teacher told him to bring the stuff to school to make a wall sculpture But Rick was no artist He was just devoted to the detritus of everyday life the stuff that might have been placed reverently into a sarcophagus back in Egyptian times to be rediscovered as a treasure thousands of years later Rick grew up and became a garbage disposal technician 44 45

ROBERT R OBERT FINISHED CLEANING all the windows in his bedroom There were eighteen in all It was his one true pleasure Watching water bubbles form from his spray bottle and glisten on the glass was intriguing He loved the tiny rainbows on the ceiling formed when light reflected in just the right places He loved squeegeeing off the wet spray But Robert also cried a lot He wasn t sad He was bored to tears He wiped his face and watched as tears evaporated in his hands How could he be so super bored Life was such a miracle He lived on a planet that sprung life in the middle of total darkness A fluke Majesty and awe And three quarters was water all beautiful water Last night he lay in bed listening to the thunder Lightning splashed the room with sharp edges Nature was alive and well but he lay there too lazy to get up to turn off his sound machine Meanwhile it blurted a tape loop of fake rain mixed with the rumble of the real rain on the roof What is boredom really Perhaps it was perfection Everything was taken care of Dishes washed Clothes cleaned Car gassed Homework done No more old girlfriends phoning up and leaving pleading messages Robert loved no drama and no conflict and yet he wasn t satisfied Maybe he simply needed to call boredom something else Maybe he was now a perfect being in bed on a rainy night alone with no one angry at him Robert grew up and became an advanced waterproofer and aggregates expert 47

S A L LY F R A N K S ALLY WAS TIRED of her bedroom She begged her mother to hire the painter who painted the living room green to return but her mother was fearful This painter was discovered in Sally s dressing room with his super pink penis hanging out of his super white painter s overalls Sally didn t know how to convince her mother that her room needed to change It was getting so boring to stare at the old wallpaper of boys and girls frolicking around a berry bush The paper was from the fifties and this was way later Finally Sally relented She climbed into her oversized closet instead Sally liked privacy so she could experiment a little And she liked change She took aluminum foil from the kitchen drawer and stretched it over the entire back wall then took clumps of branches she chopped from the neighbor s juniper trees and stuck them tight on the foil with her hot glue gun Her closet began to release a beautiful sweet scent and the aroma made her dizzy Sally lay down on the closet floor and began to softly recite the poem Evangeline out loud She had learned it by heart for the poetry contest where she won first place This is the forest primeval The murmuring pines and the hemlocks Bearded with moss and in garments green indistinct in the twilight Stand like handsome male Druids of elders with voices sad and prophetic Sally grew up and became Frank a wallpaper contractor 48 49

SOOZI S OOZI LIKED READING the World Book Encyclopedia with her best friend Soozi would wear her red terrycloth bathrobe and sit with it draped around her waist with her big naked legs spread wide open on her bedroom carpet The heavy volume featuring the letter P would be balanced on her lap Her friend fully clothed would stare at Soozy s newly grown pubic hair She wondered P for pubic Soozi would read aloud Pacific Ocean Palm Tree Parallelogram Pelican Profit Property Her friend pretended to read the letter D a much lighter volume than P but couldn t help but be distracted Daffodil Dagger Dancer Disenfranchised grief Drill sergeant Her friend was deeply preoccupied She wondered Why was Soozi mostly naked and when would she finally get her own pubic hair Soozi grew up and became a real estate agent Her friend grew up and became unemployed 50 51

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CONCEPTION TEXT IMAGES ILENE SEGALOVE Ilene Segalove is a conceptually driven multi media artist who bounces between BO OK DE SIGN JOHN BALKWILL multiple platforms From photographic and video narratives to audio commentaries for NPR from academia as professor and mentor to book editor and writing consultant she is also the author of numerous quirky books Her work is collected by many noteworthy institutions including The MET MOMA The Getty LACMA The Hammer and MOCA Segalove lives in Santa Barbara California with infinite succulents and no living pets The business cards in Careers are from a collection of daily archeology detritus or treasure tied tightly together by a blue rubber band They were retrieved from the top drawer of my dad s desk in his home office after he and my mom passed I S

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