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WHAT IS BELONGING?LEARN MORECURIOSITY: A SURPRISING KEY TO BELONGING Belonging is our psychologicalneed to love and care for others,and to believe that we are lovedand cared for within family,friendships, and workingrelationships.To belong, we must connect withpeople by cooperating, caring,sharing, and being involved. Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025This is an excerpt from an article in Psychology Today by Jeffrey Davis M.A.In 2017, former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a public health crisis—one that only worsened amid the pandemic. Data from the Harvard Graduate School ofEducation found that 36 percent of Americans feel lonely “frequently” or “all the time.” Andthe Survey Center on American Life reported that Americans have fewer close friends thanever, with 12 percent responding that they have no close friendships at all. Similarly, socialanxiety (both a cause and effect of social isolation) has risen considerably among youngadults, according to a study published by PLOS One, negatively affecting their work,education, and general well-being.In other words, you’re not alone in feeling alone. Fortunately, you can decrease lonelinessand takes steps toward fulfilling your need to belong. And one surprising key may reside inanother fundamental human trait: curiosity.Curiosity is the proactive facet of wonder that spurs us to question the way things are andour desire to learn or know. Curiosity propels us to become more engaged in newexperiences, seek novel perspectives, and—especially important—connect with other humanbeings in more enriching and meaningful ways."Belonging" is the "B" in Inspired Teaching’s award-winning ABCDE of LearnerNeeds framework, a simple yet powerful tool for understanding and addressingcore needs. Designed with educators in mind, it benefits anyone seeking totranslate behavior into communication. We are all learners.MATTERSBelonging
According to anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, our sense of belonging is animportant predictor of our well-being. As he explains in this episode of Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda, thenumber and quality of our close friendships can be the best predictor of our psychological, and physicalhealth and even an indicator of how well and long we’re likely to live.That can feel like a steep hill to climb. Especially now when so much about the world around us feelsfractured. It can feel overwhelming to think about making new friends, or even nurturing existingfriendships. At the same time, many of us are feeling the desire for connection and it can be hard toknow where to begin. Small steps can be beautiful if they are taken with intention. So start small –begin with the communities which already fuel your sense of belonging, this reflection can help. Small Steps to Greater Belonging – A ReflectionThere are lots of ways our sense of belonging can be bolstered – even with small steps.Give yourself 3 minutes to list communities you are part of – listing as many as you can. Your list can include:Communities you’ve deliberately chosen to join (a book group or improv class);Communities that have selected you (your place of employment or your college alumniassociation);Communities you are a part of by default (the street on which you live or your family or the parentsof your child’s friends); and,Any other community that’s a part of your identity.Include online communities too.Pause for a moment. It’s worth simply noting how many communities you belong to. Even communities wemay take for granted (the street I live on comes to mind) count.Next, choose one of the communities to which you belong. Ask yourself:What do I contribute to this community that is of value? Or… What could I contribute that is ofvalue?Then consider the other side of the question: What does this community offer me that is of value?Or… What could this community offer me that is of value?The simple act of considering these questions – for one community or for all of them – can buildconnection and help meet the need for belonging. It may turn out that some communities truly bringvalue, and merit more of our time and energy, while some may not serve our needs as much as theyonce did. That learning is useful too.Where do IBelong?Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025
Often when we think we’re listeningto another person we’re actuallyplanning our response. Looping is apractice that helps us to get over thatimpulse. In this approach to listeningyou try to pay attention to everysingle thing the person is saying toyou, then you repeat it back to checkfor understanding. The mostimportant step comes next: you askthe person you’re speaking to if yougot it right. If not, you listen again andrepeat what you heard this time. Onceyou are sure you understand whatthey have said, you ask clarifyingquestions. Learn more here.When we are stressed and focused on being right,we’re below the line. In that space, our relationshipswith other people are negatively impacted. But whenwe’re curious and open to new points of view, we’reabove the line. That’s where we find belonging. Thevideo above by The Conscious Leadership Groupexplains the concept. This activity can give you a toolfor reflecting on when and why you might be belowthe line and how to shift your position! 123Above & Below the LineLoopingWhere are my Needs?During the safety protocols demonstration aheadof any flight, the attendants explain theimportance of securing your own oxygen maskbefore assisting those around you. Well, in orderto fully welcome and support others, you need toaddress the gaps in your own needs first. Thisworksheet was originally designed for teachers,but can help anyone, regardless of theirprofession, to better understand themselves.Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025Strategies to BuildBelonging3
Growing a new relationship, or deepening an existing one,necessitates curiosity. And there is no clearer signal ofyour curiosity in another person than when you ask themabout themselves. These questions are sourced from anarray of question extraordinaires--from Stephen Colbertand Alan Alda to the scientists at the Greater GoodScience Center at UC Berkeley. Some fun, some serious,all are meant to support you in building belonging. Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025What do you wish other people understood about you?What’s the strangest question anyone has ever asked you?For what in your life are you most grateful?What is your most treasured memory?What is your most terrible memory?What is one thing you own that you reallyshould throw out?What, if anything, is too serious to joke about?What number am I thinking of?Is there anyone you just can’t feel empathy for?How do you feel about your relationship withyour mother?What do you wish you really understood?You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life; whatis it?If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly,would you change anything about the way you are nowliving? Why?Questions to Build Belonging
CURIOSITY &CONNECTIONBingoNow that you’ve got lots of questions to ask, have some fun with finding new ways to use them!Use the Bingo Card on the next page as inspiration for connection. Each box offersan opportunity to get to know someone new or to strengthen an existing relationship.Be sure to check off each box as you complete the task. Enjoy watching yourprogress and share your moments of connection with Inspired Teaching atcuriosity2025@inspiredteaching.org.Learn more about the importance of Belonging, one of Inspired Teaching’s ABCDEof Learner Needs, and think about additional ways you can support this need foryourself and those around you.OTHER WAYS TO PLAY WITH THE BINGO CARD: Create a challenge withcolleagues andencourage your officeto play connectionbingo over the ocurseof a month. Designate one day eachmonth or week a “day ofcuriosity andconnection” and selectan activity to try onthese days.Close your eyes andrandomly point to anyspot on the bingo card,open them andchallenge yourself to dowhat you picked!If you are on socialmedia, choose anactivity and invite yourfollowers to join you intrying it out.Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025
Ask how astore clerk isdoing andreally listen totheir answer.Reach out to afriend you’velost touch with.Have aconversationwith the solepurpose oflistening to theother person.Send a text tosomeoneletting themknow you’rethinking ofthem.Engage in aconversationwith someoneyou don’tknow.Send a note ofappreciation toa friend orcolleague. Go on a walkwith a friend.Invite someoneyou haven’teaten withbefore to sharea meal.Read a book orarticle aboutsomeonewhose life isvery differentfrom your own.Play a boardgame or cardswith friends orfamily.Bring togetherpeople fromdifferent partsof your life forcoffee or tea.Send a snailmail letter tosomeone wholives far awayfrom you.Volunteer for acommunityevent.Help someoneoutside yourhome with achore orproject. Drop off a mealfor someonewho isstruggling.Start orparticipate in abook club.Share a book,music, movie,or TV showsuggestionwith someoneelse.Create a list ofwhat YOUneed to feelconnected toothers.Try greetingstrangers whenyou walk downthe street.Do somethingthat promiseslaughter incommunitywith others.Choose tomake a phonecall instead oftexting. Pay attentionto how youshow activelistening withyour wholebody.Make a choiceto sit next tosomeone new.Find out aboutsomeone’s jobthat is differentfrom your own.CURIOSITY &CONNECTIONBingoCopyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025
About UsCenter for Inspired Teaching is a social change nonprofit organization thatchampions the power of curiosity and is dedicated to transforming the schoolexperience from compliance-based to engagement-based. Inspired Teachingprovides transformative, improvisation-based professional learning forteachers that is 100% engaging – intellectually, emotionally, and physically.Please share this eBook--and the Curiosity Challenge!--to helpInspired Teaching make curiosity the word of the year in 2025.Copyright © Center for Inspired Teaching 2025Follow us!Photos included in this guidebook are from Inspired Teaching’s improvisation-based professional learning for teachers and student-centered programming.