Bereavement Packet Final Arrange : simplebooklet.com

We Extend Our Condolences to You and Your FamilyThe road that lies ahead can be difﬁcult. Please know that you do not need to go on this journey alone. You can get support here at our hospital and in the community. In this moment, it can be hard to remember all of the details. Everyone’s journey is different and there are many ways to grieve. So we hope this guide will help you along your path.If you need guidance and support in the following days, we are here for you. We pray that comfort and peace will come to you while you go through this time of grief.[inside front cover]

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 3Table of ContentsFirst StepsThings To Do When Death Occurs ..................................................................................4Arranging Funeral, Memorial Service or Celebration of Life ..............................................5Handling the Estate .....................................................................................................61. Paying Bills ........................................................................................................ 62. Making An Inventory of Assets ............................................................................. 63. Accessing Financial Accounts .............................................................................. 74. Transferring Estate Property ................................................................................. 85. Paying Taxes ...................................................................................................... 8Easing Your Way Through GriefHow to Live in the Days Ahead ...................................................................................... 9Understanding Grief ................................................................................................... 10Grief Is More Than Emotions .................................................................................. 11Two Styles of Expression ........................................................................................ 11Grief Has a Purpose .............................................................................................. 11Grief Support Can Be Helpful ................................................................................. 12Anniversaries and Holidays .................................................................................... 12Honor Someone Special ........................................................................................ 12Contemplative Practice ..............................................................................................13For Grief (Closing Poem) ............................................................................................14Key Phone NumbersFor patient information, please contact Medical Records. For mortuary and death certiﬁcate information, please contact the Nursing Ofﬁce. And for general support or guidance on the next steps, please call our Spiritual Care Department.California Hospital Medical CenterMedical Records (213) 742-5470, ext. 2Nursing Ofﬁce (213) 742-5590Spiritual Care (213) 742-6470L.A. County Coroner (323) 343-0711 & (323) 343-0714

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center4Things To Do When Death OccursMany tasks need to be completed soon after your loved one’s death. Please allow family and friends to help you complete these tasks:• Contact family, friends, employers and others who immediately need to know about the death.• Discuss options with your family/friends if you have not yet chosen a mortuary. Consider your loved one’s wishes then make an appointment to meet with the mortuary. If needed, refer to the Mortuary List provided.• Contact the mortuary or funeral home. • Get certiﬁed death certiﬁcates from the mortuary. Use the Final Arrangements Worksheet (in this packet) to help decide the number of death certiﬁcates needed. Death certiﬁcates can also be ordered from the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder. Call (800) 201-8999 or visit lavote.gov.• Find someone to care for pets that are now without a caregiver.• Plan for someone to watch the home of your loved one if it is now empty. Make sure all valuables are removed.• Locate the Will or Trust and notify the executor and/or the attorney.• Contact the US Social Security Administration to tell them of your loved one’s death as soon as possible at (800) 772-1213 to avoid identity theft and to access survivor beneﬁts. Be sure to have the social security number when you call. You may need to go to the nearest Social Security Ofﬁce to sign a claim for survivor beneﬁts. faq.ssa.gov/en-us/Topic/article/KA-02077 • Contact the California Department of Motor Vehicles at dmv.ca.gov or (800) 777-0133 if your loved one had a California driver’s license or State ID.• Contact US Department of Veterans Affairs (800) 827-1000 or va.gov if your loved one was a military veteran. You might be entitled to memorial service, burial and/or survivor beneﬁts.• Contact clubs or organizations with paid memberships and where your loved one may have volunteered.• It is important to keep track of money you spend – save your receipts. They will be required for income tax return information. Some expenses may be tax deductible.• Crime Victims Compensation: If the death was caused by a criminal act, beneﬁts may be available from the California Victim Compensation Board. Get information online da.lacounty.gov/victims or call (800) 380-3811.“Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.”– PAULO COELHO

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 5Arranging Funeral, Memorial Service or Celebration of Life• Make an appointment with the funeral director after talking with your family about the details of your loved one’s burial, cremation, or other preferences.• You may wish to have a memorial service or celebration of life instead of a funeral. Ideas for a celebration of life include an afternoon at father’s favorite ﬁshing hole, a star-gazing party with a sparkler send off, or a simple gathering of loved ones sharing memories and favorite dishes. • If you are or your loved one was a member of a religious community, your spiritual leader can help you with arrangements for the funeral, memorial service or celebration of life.• If your loved one was a Veteran you may contact the Department of Veterans Affairs at (800) 827-1000 or va.gov. • Typically, the funeral director will help make arrangements for an obituary. If possible, take a family member or friend with you when you talk with the funeral director about arrangements.• Let the funeral director know if you would like donations made to a speciﬁc organization or charity so that a donation request is in your loved one’s obituary.Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 5

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center6Handling the Estate(Save this section for next week, it’s more than you need right now)If you are the executor, it is best to consult an attorney as you work through the process of settling an estate. While the following is not to be construed as legal advice, here are some things that may need to be done:1. PAYING BILLS • Creditors: Make timely payments to creditors— banks, mortgage companies, credit card companies, department stores, etc.—or make arrangements if it will be difﬁcult to do so. • Utilities: Make timely payments to ensure continued service or contact them if you are unable to do so. Ask about any special assistance programs the utility may offer. • Medical bills: These are often covered by Medicare, Medicaid or other medical insurance plans. Call them before making payment to obtain the necessary information or forms. • Be careful about calls you receive from people who offer help. They may be fake and trying to get personal information. Never provide social security numbers over the phone unless you make the call yourself.2. MAKING AN INVENTORY OF ASSETS Make an inventory of the following assets as soon as possible, including all community property. If necessary, hire a professional appraiser who can be paid from the estate. • Real Estate: The deceased person’s residence and any recreational property, commercial property or other interests in land. • Cash Accounts: On each account, list the exact name, account number, ﬁnancial institution and branch, and the current balance. • Insurance: List all policies—life, mortgage and credit insurance along with any variable annuities— that pay beneﬁts upon death. When applying for beneﬁts, ask the insurance company to send a copy of Internal Revenue Service Form 712 for each policy; these provide information you will need to complete the inventory of property and to determine any federal income taxes that may be due. • Stocks and Bonds: List all shares of stock, bonds, notes payable and other securities, including the exact name/s in which they are registered. If the securities are traded on a stock exchange, calculate the average between the high and low of each stock on the day of death to determine its value. • Business Interests: list any sole proprietorships, partnerships, or shares in a closely held corporation, PS or LLC. • Employment Beneﬁts: List any pensions, proﬁt sharing plans, IRAs or 401 K plans and their value. • Retired Military: Locate any Survivor’s Beneﬁts Plans. • Personal Property: » Motor Vehicles: Include the year, make, model, registration number, mileage and condition. Use the Kelly Blue Book or NADA Guide to determine the value of each. » Boats, ATVs, jet skis, etc.: Include the year, make, model, ID number and value. » Furniture, appliances, jewelry and collectibles: These items can be grouped and assessed as collections (i.e.: Furniture: $5,000); only objects of unusual value need to be itemized.

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 73. ACCESSING FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS • Bank Accounts: Survivors who hold joint accounts with the deceased or who are authorized co-signers will generally be able to draw funds out of those accounts. If the deceased was the only one authorized to sign on a bank account, that money may not be immediately available. Discuss this with the bank manager or consult an attorney. • Safety Deposit Box: Be mindful to keep accurate records of the contents and any items removed. If the deceased was the only one authorized to open the box, or the other authorized person is not available, legal proceedings may be necessary to open the box. Consult an attorney. • Stock and Bonds: » U.S. Savings Bonds: These are payable immediately upon death to any person whose name is registered on the bond. » Stock Shares: If your name is registered on the stock, you still may need certain legal documents before you can liquidate these assets. Consult an attorney. • Life Insurance: These proceeds are usually paid within a few weeks of ﬁling. You will need to submit the following: » A Claims Form available from the insurance company. » A copy of the insurance policy. » An ofﬁcial death certiﬁcate. If the death was accidental and the policy covers accidental death, some proof of accident will be required.Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 7

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center84. TRANSFERRING ESTATE PROPERTYDistributing the assets of even a modest estate can be complex. This is an overview of terms and processes you may be required to know:• Probate: This is the legal term for the process of distributing the assets of the deceased under supervision of the court. Probate is designed to protect all those who have an interest in the estate, such as immediate family, joint tenants, creditors and tax authorities. Probate laws may vary if the deceased is from somewhere other than California. • Is Probate Necessary? In many cases, it is not. However, even if not required, probate may be preferred. Consult an attorney for a legal opinion on your circumstance. • Executor: This person takes charge of the property, its distribution, and the ﬁling of all necessary papers in court. Often this person is named in the will; if there is no will, the court will usually appoint a surviving spouse or relative to serve this function. • Executor Responsibilities: » Provide proof that the will is valid and the last will of the deceased. » Provide written notice of probate proceedings to all known heirs and beneﬁciaries. » Give notice of the deceased’s name and social security number to the State of California Department of Social and Health Services, Ofﬁce of Financial Recovery. » File with the court and publish in a legal newspaper a notice of death advising creditors to ﬁle any claims against the estate within four months. » File an inventory of all the deceased person’s property. » Prove to the court that the estate is solvent (total assets are greater than total debt). » After these steps have been completed, the court will grant non-intervention powers to the executor to do whatever is necessary to administer the estate without returning to court for approval. » Once these tasks are done, ﬁle a Declaration of Completion with the court to conclude probate.5. PAYING TAXES• Income Tax: Federal income tax is due by the April 15 deadline. If the information needed to ﬁle is not available, you can request an extension from the IRS. They can also provide a free booklet called “Tax Information for Survivors and Executors and Administrators’’—Publication 559. • Property Taxes: Until the transfer of property, these are due at the same time and in the same manner as if the deceased person were still alive. After such a transfer, these taxes are to be paid by the recipient. Contact the County Treasurer’s Ofﬁce for more information. • Federal Estate Tax: In most cases, a federal estate tax return has to be ﬁled only if the total value of the estate exceeds a speciﬁed amount. Contact your local IRS Ofﬁce for information and consult an attorney. • The Marital Deduction: The value of most property that passes to a surviving spouse is deducted from the value of the estate. Check with the IRS or a ﬁnancial advisor for details.

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 9How to Live in the Days AheadSomeone you love has died. Whether it was sudden or expected, that does not lessen the amount of grief you feel. There is no magic wand to get rid of the mix of feelings. Everyone grieves differently, so what is right for you might be wrong for someone else as they go through grief. There are things you can do that will help you through this difﬁcult time. Be Kind to YourselfDo not judge yourself for how you are feeling at any time while you grieve. Whether the death of your loved one was sudden or expected, you are in a state of shock and you might act differently than you usually do. This is normal. Do not compare yourself to others who you think are grieving better than you - we all need different things. Try to Not Make Any Major Decisions at This TimeYou may feel confused and unable to focus. When you feel so many emotions, it can be hard to make decisions. Allow space and time for the emotions to calm down before making major life decisions. Eventually, you will be able to think more clearly. Let Tears and Sadness FlowSome people might tell you to “move on” and “be strong.” This can be impossible when you are grieving. It is much healthier for you to feel sad and let the tears ﬂow. You cannot force yourself to be happy. You will not go through grief if you don’t allow yourself to feel all of your emotions, like anger, frustration, denial, blame and despair. Ignoring your feelings can result in painful physical and emotional symptoms like headaches, depression, anxiety, poor concentration, overeating, loss of appetite, increased inﬂammation, fatigue and more.Take Care of YourselfStress and sadness can affect you physically and emotionally. You need time for self-care. Care for yourself by resting, exercising, drinking water, and eating. Be aware if you are dealing with your pain and sadness by abusing alcohol, drugs, prescriptions, or any other harmful behaviors you use to feel better. If you feel out of control, ask for help. Use the bereavement resources included here to help you cope.In ClosingGrieving is necessary, even if our society does not always respect the human need for it. Friends and family may not know what to say or do so they avoid seeing you or calling you at a time when they could comfort you. Or, they may say things that are hurtful to you, not realizing how their words make you feel. They may tell you to “get over” your grief, which is not possible. Grief may take a long time. You may never “get over’’ grieving, but one day you can learn to live with it. You can get through grief by ﬁnding safe ways to be honest, like sharing with family, journaling, prayer, or other practices that help you ﬁnd peace.Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 9

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center10Understanding GriefGrief is difﬁcult. It can be heart-breaking and even scary. Yet, there are things you can do to comfort yourself and help your wellbeing. It is important to allow your grief to unfold in its own way. If you need to talk, talk; if you need to be silent, be silent; if you need to cry, cry; and if you need to get away from it, get away from it. Trust yourself and be good to yourself. There is no right way to grieve. There is no set time on how long it will take. There are no tricks to avoid the painful parts. Still, there are helpful ways to get through it. Grief tends to have 3 phases, but they might not be felt in the order they are listed. These phases tend to ﬂow into another with good and bad days. 1. Shock: in the ﬁrst days and weeks after the death, grief can make us feel lost and confused. This phase often happens when planning a funeral or memorial service. A memorial service can help us accept the loss and move through this intense phase of grief. 2. Acceptance: This phase often brings times of intense emotions: anger, guilt, regret, longing, sorrow, hopelessness, abandonment and deep sadness. This is often a difﬁcult time to endure and can, at times, be debilitating. Yet, as the reality of the death is slowly accepted, healing is taking place. This phase may last months or even years.3. Integration: As grief and mourning become less intense, the focus of life slowly shifts from the past to the present. While sadness continues, it no longer overwhelms. Sometimes, during this phase, a survivor will worry about “betraying” the deceased. Yet, moving on with life is a natural step in mourning. This phase can last years —and may never end; just as your love for the deceased never ends.Grief is difﬁcult. It can be heart-breaking and even scary. Yet, there are things you can do to comfort yourself and help your wellbeing. It is important to allow your grief to unfold in its own way.

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 11Grief Is More Than Emotions Grief can be felt in many ways that can include: • Physical sensations, such as a hollow feeling in the pit of the stomach, a lump in the throat, tightness in the chest, shortness of breath, dry mouth, physical aching, weakness, lack of energy and a loss of coordination. • Overwhelming feelings, such as anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, helplessness, yearning, numbness and even relief. • Irrational thoughts, such as disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, a sense of presence, dreams about the deceased and even paranormal and hallucinatory experiences. • Behavioral challenges, such as loss of sleep and appetite, absentmindedness, apathy, prolonged crying, avoidance, restlessness, and both seeking out and anticipating the return of the deceased. • Social challenges, often manifesting as increased frustrations in personal relationships and problems functioning at work or in other organizations. • Spiritual searching, often beginning with anger at God—and even a loss of faith—that slowly leads to a renewed search for meaning and a deeper spiritual framework for comprehending life. These are normal symptoms of a deep healing process. Be compassionate to yourself as you go through this transition. It is not easy.Two Styles of Expression Grief processing can be divided into two types: 1. Intuitive: This is the more common and accepted style. It is centered around talking, sharing and processing feelings one-on-one or in small groups. Its focus is on being. 2. Instrumental: This is a less known, but a perfectly valid way of processing grief through action: building a memorial, creating a website, starting a non-proﬁt. Its focus is on doing. We are all blends of these two styles, typically more of one than the other. What is important is they both work. If you don’t like talking through your feelings, that’s okay. Do what feels right. That said: doing nothing—neither talking nor engaging in activity—can lead to complications in the long term. If you ﬁnd yourself, or a loved one, unable to express grief in some manner, it may be wise to seek counseling or support. Grief Has a Purpose Although you may feel at times that your grief is nothing more than an agony that won’t end, it is a natural healing process. Grief brings an opportunity for emotional, psychological and spiritual growth. As the process unfolds, debilitating aspects of your loss can be reframed: “limitations” can become new potentials; “coping” can become a new way of being in the world; “problems” can become challenges to be overcome. Over time, your grief journey should lead you to new meaning and purpose for your life. Complicating Factors You may want to seek counseling if: • The death was unexpected or violent. • The grief becomes chronic, unproductive or interferes with daily functioning.• The death is complicated by secrecy.• Any other unusual aspects that make your mourning hard to resolve.

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center12Grief Support Can Be Helpful If your coworkers, friends and family are uncomfortable with your grief, you can often ﬁnd other resources within your community. Check with your funeral home or local hospice for more information on grief support. • Grief Support Groups. These groups come together to help each other cope with a similar experience. They are often self-led and vary widely in form: some are open; some closed; some ongoing; some for a short time. • Grief Therapy Groups. These are formed and led by professional therapists and grief counselors and can help to resolve grief issues. • Individual Grief Counseling. If you are experiencing a complicated grief process or just feeling stuck, one-on-one counseling with a licensed therapist can be helpful. Refer to the “Bereavement Support” paper in this folder for more resources. Anniversaries and Holidays These can be emotionally difﬁcult—especially during the ﬁrst year, when every anniversary, holiday or signiﬁcant family ritual arrives for the ﬁrst time. These events can sometimes trigger a grief so intense and raw that it may seem like you are starting all over from day one. There are a few time-tested suggestions that can help in coping with these anniversaries: • Anticipate the grief. Note upcoming anniversaries and make plans in advance to honor them. • Reach out to your social support. Friends or family may not remember what you are going through. Fair or not, this is often the way it is. Reach out and you will often ﬁnd support. • Embrace your faith community. If you’re part of a faith community, ask for prayers of support. Group prayer is love offered in the presence of the divine; it can be deeply nourishing. Join classes. Reread scripture. Let your faith grow and mature. • Keep a journal. Write what is happening: remembrance, regrets, feelings, thoughts, dreams. It might be more messy and spontaneous than you’re used to—and it might be nice and tidy. Let it be what it will be.Honor Someone SpecialA gift in support of the charitable work of California Hospital is a meaningful way to remember someone dear to you, honor or thank a loved one, or celebrate a birthday, anniversary or other occasion. Special named memorial funds in support of a particular hospital program can also be established. If you would like more information about the many memorial and tribute gift opportunities available, please visit SupportCaliforniaHospital.org, or call the California Hospital Medical Center Foundation at (213) 742-5662.

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Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 13Contemplative PracticeThe Relaxation Response came from the research of Dr. Herbert Benson of the Harvard Medical School on ancient meditation techniques. These simple steps can lead to reduced stress and a deep sense of wellbeing. 1. Find a quiet room that offers privacy. Sit quietly in a comfortable position. 2. Close your eyes or lower and relax your gaze. Place your feet ﬂat on the ﬂoor.3. Tense your muscles one by one, beginning at your feet and progressing up to your face, each for 5 seconds, ﬁrst noticing the tightness, then releasing, and noticing the sense of relaxation of each muscle.4. Breathe naturally. Focus on your breath and how it feels. Count as you breathe. For example, “one” on the in-breath and “two” on the out. Or repeat a sacred word or short phrase with each breath. Whatever is most comfortable and meaningful. The point is to gently focus your mind and have something to draw you back to when it wanders—and it will! That’s okay. Just relax and bring it back to your practice. 5. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. When you ﬁnish, sit for a few minutes to ease your way back to your daily routine. 6. Do not worry about whether you achieve a deep level of relaxation at each session. Like everything else, there will be good days and bad. Try to repeat your practice once or twice daily as the beneﬁt builds over time. And, for best results, avoid practicing after meals. For some people, sitting still is not relaxing and can even increase stress. If so, you can do a walking version where you walk slowly in step with your breathing. Try simply pacing back and forth in your room, being mindful to harmonize your breathing and movement. You can also experiment with combining the two practices of sitting and walking in one session. This technique has been shown to reduce physical and psychological stress, and lower your breathing rate and blood pressure. It may even evoke a deep sense of peace and wellbeing. For more information, look for The Relaxation Response, by Herbert Benson, MD, in your library or a bookstore or go to RelaxationResponse.org.Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss | 13

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| Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center14For GriefWhen you lose someone you love,Your life becomes strange,The ground beneath you gets fragile,Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;And some dead echo drags your voice downWhere words have no conﬁdence. Your heart has grown heavy with loss;And though this loss has wounded others too,No one knows what has been taken from youWhen the silence of absence deepens. Flickers of guilt kindle regretFor all that was left unsaid or undone. There are days when you wake up happy;Again inside the fullness of life,Until the moment breaksAnd you are thrown backOnto the black tide of loss. Days when you have your heart back,You are able to function wellUntil in the middle of work or encounter, Suddenly with no warning,You are ambushed by grief. It becomes hard to trust yourself.All you can depend on now is thatSorrow will remain faithful to itself.More than you, it knows its wayAnd will ﬁnd the right timeTo pull and pull the rope of griefUntil that coiled hill of tearsHas reduced to its last drop. Gradually, you will learn acquaintanceWith the invisible form of your departed;And when the work of grief is done,The wound of loss will healAnd you will have learnedTo wean your eyesFrom that gap in the airAnd be able to enter the hearthIn your soul where your loved oneHas awaited your returnAll the time. JOHN O’DONOHUETo Bless The Space Between Us

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Bereavement SupportFollowing is a list of organizations that provide support groups and/or one-on-one counseling. • Beyond Loss Grief Support Program, Adventist Health Glendale: (818) 409-8008 or adventisthealth.org/patient-resources/beyond-loss/• Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services - Mental health and supportive services for people who have lost a loved one to suicide: (310) 390-8896• Dougy Center for grieving children and families: dougy.org • Highland Christian Fellowship at 39625 20th St. Palmdale, CA: (661) 273-1000• Hope Street Margolis Family Center, a community health, education, and recreation program of California Hospital Medical Center: (213) 742-6385• Kaiser Permanente-Bereavement Support Groups - At hospitals throughout LA County, free for all, not Kaiser speciﬁc: (323) 783-4977• LA County Department of Public Health - Maternal, Child & Adolescent Health Programs, Bereaved Parent Support Groups (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome): (213) 637-8473• Our House: (310) 473-1511 or ourhouse-grief.org • Parents of Murdered Children Inc. Los Angeles Chapter - Bereaved Parent Support Groups (Families/Friends of those that experience a violent death): (310) 567-3540• The Cancer Support Community in Pasadena, CA: (626) 796-1083 or cancersupportsgv.org They can inform you of other ofﬁces in the Los Angeles Area.• The Compassionate Friends supporting family after a child dies - compassionatefriends.org• The Dinner Party “for 20–40 somethings”: thedinnerparty.org • Wise and Healthy Aging - Widow/Widower Support Groups for those over age 50, Santa Monica, CA: (310) 394-9871Navigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Coping with a Child’s DeathThe death of a child, no matter the age, is difﬁcult for parents, who never think about their child dying before them. It’s especially traumatic because parents oftentimes have little or no time to prepare for the loss. You’ve watched your child grow, celebrated every milestone and thought many more would come.As time goes by, you may ﬁnd yourself imagining the milestones your child would have experienced at each stage of his or her life, such as graduating from high school, going away to college, getting married and having children. These can be especially difﬁcult times.Grieving parents may also experience guilt for outliving their child. They may even feel guilty because they think they could have done something to prevent their child’s death, especially if the child died from drug use or a drunk driving accident. Grief not only affects the bereaved, but those closest to them as well. Some parents isolate themselves from their spouse, which can be confusing and hurtful. If the child was conceived during a previous relationship, a parent may feel their ex-partner is the only person who can empathize with the loss. This can further complicate current relationships.No matter what you are feeling, it’s best to communicate openly with those closest to you. While relationships can weaken when partners shut each other out, they can strengthen when emotions are shared and expressed. Reminiscing about your child is a positive step forward in your grieving process. Still, people may avoid talking about your child at the risk of hurting you. Assure them that you enjoy hearing fond memories of your child, which can facilitate your healing process. You may also want to keep your child’s memory alive by inviting his or her friends to your home to create a scrapbook of memories.Navigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Losing an Adult ChildIf your adult child has died, there are additional factors that may affect you. People may discount your grief and assume you should be grateful your child lived as long as he or she did. Of course you cherish the time you’ve spent with your child, but that does not mean your grief is lessened. If your relationship with your adult child evolved into a friendship, you’ve not only lost a child, but a friend too. Here are some additional challenges you may encounter:• If you were supporting your adult child due to a physical or mental illness, the death may leave a void in your daily routine.• Depending on your child’s marital status, you may have the job of notifying an employer, friends from high school, college, church, and others who have come to know your child.• If your child was unmarried, there will be property, ﬁnances, estate, wills, and other legal issues with which you must contend.• If your child was married with a family, the focus will usually be on their grief and not yours.• Grandchildren need comforting as the surviving spouse is usually too overwhelmed to console the children.• You may be surprised by emotions that surface when the spouse dates or remarries.• You may experience fear and concern regarding who will take care of you in later years.You may feel that the emotional investment you’ve made in your child is now for naught. Many parents feel this way, but be assured that a sense of purpose and meaning does return. The pain does lessen.National Resources• The Compassionate Friends offers assistance to families following a death of a child of any age from any cause. The nearly 600 chapters nationwide provide support, groups and newsletters. (877) 969-0010 or compassionatefriends.org• Bereaved Parents of the USA (BP/USA) is a national self-help group that offers support, understanding, compassion, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. bereavedparentsusa.orgNavigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Coping with a Baby’s Death When the Beginning Turns into the End...What do you do when your baby dies? You may be challenged, not only by the loss, but also by the changes in relationships with family and friends, or a commitment to your faith. Your baby was a real life and you had a real connection, hopes and dreams. No other baby could ever or is meant to replace this deep loss. Very unique and difﬁcult challenges can arise in your relationships. Friends experiencing their own children’s births may not know whether to include you in their celebrations. Family might want to dismiss your pain, try to make you happy or encourage you to move on with your life. Healing takes time, especially after the death of a baby. Life has changed and you will ﬁnd ways to face tomorrow, but life is now different. You and your partner or spouse should decide how to discuss this death with other people. You may be caught off guard when asked how many children you have. If you say “none,” you may feel like the memory of your child is betrayed or you may feel uncomfortable saying you had a child who died. Communication in your relationship is vital.Women and men often experience the death of a baby in very different ways. There is no set path for grief and one partner shouldn’t feel guilty if he/she feels the grief more or less intensely. You can expect to experience some of the following:• A feeling that the death is somehow your fault• An increase or decrease in sexual patterns• Fear of becoming pregnant again• Jealousy of healthy babies, even among your friends and family• A feeling that nobody is giving you the emotional attention you need (often felt by men)• Offended by the way your partner is grieving or seemingly not grieving• A desire for your relationship to return to the way it was before the baby died• Emotional neediness or frequent mood swings (often experienced by women)• Immersing yourself in your workYou may want to receive grief counseling or attend a support group listed in this booklet. If you would like additional resources or a referral for individual or couples’ counseling, please call Spiritual Care at (213) 742-6470.Navigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Mortuaries, Cremation & Burial ServicesHollywood Forever Funeral Homehollywoodforever.com6000 Santa Monica BoulevardLos Angeles, CA 90038(323) 469-6349Angelus Rosedale Cemeteryangelusrosedale.com1831 W. Washington Blvd.Los Angeles, CA 90007(323) 734-3155Abbott & Hast Mortuaryabbottandhastmortuary.net315 Silver Lake Blvd.Los Angeles, CA 90026(323) 661-1111/(800) 528-9596Kubota Nikkei Mortuarykubotanikkeimortuary.com911 Venice BoulevardLos Angeles, CA 90015(213) 749-1449Forest Lawn – Glendaleforestlawn.com/glendale1712 Glendale AveGlendale, CA 91205(888) 204-3131Armstrong Family Malloy-Mitten Mortuaryarmstrongmortuary.com931 Venice BoulevardLos Angeles, CA 90015(213) 747-9121Groman Mortuarygromanmortuaries.com830 W. Washington BlvdLos Angeles, CA 90015(213) 748-2208/(800) 371-0893Aaron Cremation & Burial Servicesaaroncalifornia.com1525 N. Waterman Ave.San Bernardino CA, 92404(800) 303-3610Angelino Valley Mortuaryangelenomortuaries.com5423 Tujunga Ave.North Hollywood, CA 91601(818) 753-7880Best Cremation Care (Spanish speaking staff)bestcremation.com730 E. Katella Ave.Orange, CA 92867(877) 878-7988Navigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Mortuaries, Cremation & Burial Services (cont’d)Mount Sinai Memorial Parks and Mortuaries – Hollywood Hillsmountsinaiparks.org5950 Forest Lawn Dr.Los Angeles, CA 90068(323) 469-6000National Cremation Servicesnationalcremation.com10559 Victory Blvd.North Hollywood, CA 91606(800) 343-5764(818) 755-5030Forest Lawn – Hollywood Hillsforestlawn.com/hollywood-hills6300 Forest Lawn Dr.Los Angeles, CA 90068(800) 204-3131Neptune Societyneptunesociety.com4312 Woodman Ave., 3rd FlSherman Oaks, CA 91423(818) 946-2022West Covina location463 N. Azusa Ave.West Covina, CA 91791(626) 587-2454Cremation Society Los Angelescremationlosangeles.com6427 S. Eastern Ave.Bell Gardens, CA 90201(323) 773-1234Stricklin Snively Mortuarystricklinsnivelycares.com1952 Long Beach Bl.LB, CA 90806(562) 426-3365OMEGA Societyomegasociety.com1577 N. Main St.Orange, CA 92867(800)-64-OMEGA ((800) 646-6342))(714) 754-7781Optima Funeral Home (Spanish speaking staff available)optimafuneralhome.com4901 Compton Ave.Los Angeles, CA 90011(213) 820-2798Han Kook Mortuary (Korean speaking staff available)hankookmortuary.com2045 W. Washington Blvd.Los Angeles, CA 90018(323) 734-5656Rachal’s Funeral Home (Spanish speaking staff available)decofamilia.com5708 S. BroadwayLos Angeles, CA 90037(323) 231-9325Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center

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Military Veteran’s InformationVeterans who were honorably discharged from military service and meet other service eligibility requirements may be entitled to receive veteran’s burial beneﬁts. Additional information can be obtained from Department of Veterans Affairs (800) 827-1000 and website is cem.va.gov.Death CertiﬁcatesThe death certiﬁcate is ﬁled with the Health Department by the Funeral Director after the coroner has determined the cause of death. Certiﬁed copies of the death certiﬁcate can be ordered through the funeral home or they may be purchased from the following:L.A. County Dept of Public HealthVital Records Ofﬁce313 N. Figueroa St., Room Lobby-1Los Angeles, CA 90012(213) 240-7816publichealth.lacounty.gov/dca/dcadeath.htmFunds for BurialIf the deceased does not have sufﬁcient funds for burial and the LA County Dept. of Coroner was involved (the deceased has to be at the Dept. of Coroner), the next of kin (must be indigent i.e.: welfare, SSI, disability, etc.) may apply for county disposition. In these circumstances, proof of indigence is required. The family should contact the coroner’s at (323) 343-0755.LA County Dept. of the Coroner1104 N. Mission Rd.Los Angeles, CA 90033If the deceased does not have sufﬁcient funds and has no next of kin for burial and the LA County Dept. of Coroner was NOT involved, contact the county morgue at (323) 409-7161, Mon–Fri 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM, after hours (323) 409-7062.County Morgue2015 Marengo St.Los Angeles, CA 90033L.A. County Registrar-Recorder County Clerk (RR/CC)Contact if requesting record of deaths more than one year. Birth, Death and Marriage Records Section12400 E. Imperial Hwy., Norwalk, CA(562) 462-2137lavote.govNavigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Final Arrangements WorksheetOver the next few days, you will be asked to make many decisions and arrangements. This worksheet will help to assist you in these tasks. It is designed to help you gather a variety of information that may be requested from different organizations and will provide space for important phone numbers, addresses, etc. Not all the information on this form will be applicable to each speciﬁc situation. Please utilize this worksheet as is most helpful to you and your family.Personal Information Full Legal Name: ___________________________________________________________________________Address: __________________________________________________________________________________ Social Security Number: ____________________________________________________________________Date and Time of Death: ____________________________________________________________________Date and Place of Birth: ____________________________________________________________________Marital Status: _____________________________________________________________________________Spouse’s Name / Maiden Name: _____________________________________________________________Children: ___________________________________________________________________________Grandchildren: ______________________________________________________________________Father’s Name & Birthplace: ________________________________________________________________Mother’s Name & Birthplace: ________________________________________________________________Employer/Occupation: ______________________________________________________________________Service in the US Armed Forces: _____________________________________________________________ If Veteran, a copy of discharge papers/DD214Mortuary/Memorial Information Have prepaid arrangements been made? Yes NoDo you have the contract? Yes No Name of Mortuary __________________________________________________________________________Address of Mortuary: _______________________________________________________________________Phone Number: ____________________________________________________________________________Contact Person: ____________________________________________________________________________Navigating the Way Through Your Time of Loss

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Obtaining Death Certiﬁcates Use this worksheet to determine the likely number you’ll need—and add a few more to be safe. _____ Individual life insurance policy claims (one for each) _____ Real estate transactions _____ Purchases with credit life attached _____ Boat title transfers _____ Individual stocks or bonds (one for each) _____ Probating a will _____ Bank accounts (savings, checking, CDs and IRAs) _____ Credit card companies_____ Prearranged funeral or cemetery contracts _____ Vehicle title transfers _____ Social Security – SSI beneﬁts for surviving spouse only _____ Other:_____ Government employers claims / pension claims Total Number of Death Certiﬁcates: __________Plans for Final RestingFuneral, Memorial, or Celebration of Life? Burial, entombment, cremation or direct cremation? ____________________________________________Where will the memorial/funeral be held if not at a cemetery? ____________________________________Date and Time of Service: ___________________________________________________________________Personal Items to Take to Mortuary:Clothes: ____________________________________________________________________________Jewelry: ____________________________________________________________________________Religious items: _____________________________________________________________________Name of Clergy/Ofﬁciant: ____________________________________________________________________Phone Number of Clergy: ____________________________________________________________________Songs, Hymns, Scripture or Readings for Service:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Photographs/Video? Yes No Flowers? Yes No Donation? Yes NoNewspaper for Obituary: ____________________________________________________________________Diginity Health - California Hospital Medical Center

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People to ContactWho needs to be contacted? Who can help with calls and/or other arrangements?Family:Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Friends and/or Co-Workers: Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________ Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Name: ____________________________ Phone/email: ____________________ Task: ___________________Notes:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Navigating Your Way Through Your Time of Loss

Bereavement Packet Final Arrange

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