Authentic Insider March 2025 : simplebooklet.com

AlwaysDear Reader,March is a month of recognition, honoring Women's History, DisabilityAwareness, and many other important causes. This issue of AuthenticInsider highlights the extraordinary contributions of women to society.Kathryn Marsh shares her Prosecutor’s POV, shedding light on the criticalrole women play in shaping justice. Marcia Dawood, author of Do GoodWhile Doing Well, offers her vision of unlocking opportunities throughinvesting in women and empowering them to thrive.With Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives facing cuts acrossgovernment and business sectors, I break down what DEI is, how it benefitssociety, and why continued efforts are essential to keeping women andfamilies safe.As trauma survivors, we often become who our caregivers expect us to berather than discovering our authentic selves. STAR Network’s Dr. JamieHuysman and Mila Stankovic—our beautiful cover model—share theirjourneys of reclaiming authenticity after escaping toxic childhoods.Contributor Kathryn Selvidge, author of Kloe’s New Start, bravely recountsher experience growing up as the capable yet neglected sibling of a violent,disabled brother.If you're searching for a therapist but find the process overwhelming, CaliBinstock offers practical tools to help you find the right fit and navigatethe journey.With the current state of affairs in the USA, Trauma Educator Karen Grossexplores the profound pain of hypocrisy and its impact on society.Don't forget to check out our monthly playlist celebrating women’shistory, along with curated book recommendations for both children andadults. Plus, Joy Larkin's Twin Flame Reading reveals what March has instore.Happy reading!Lorilee BinstockAuthentic Insider | editor's noteLorilee BinstockEditor in ChiefPage 2

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“When it comes to history, the story of women is largelyone of exclusion, silence, absence and bias…Women havealways been there, influencing human civilizations andthe rise and fall of nations.“Modernity hasn’t made women great; women havemade women great” This is the importance of Women’s History month, torecognize the contributions that have been madethroughout time but were not necessarily given theirrightful place in history books. A time to inspire younggirls to know that they can accomplish greatnessdespite adversity or roadblocks or people telling themthey can’t.It is even more important to celebrate Women’s Historythis month when there appears to be a conscious effortto erase women leadership, or decry women’saccomplishments as nothing more than Diversity,Inclusion and Equity hires, as if there was no way thatwomen could have accomplished something great ontheir own without having been given a leg up.I’ve struggled to figure out when this deep seeded ideathat women didn’t actually earn their degrees, theirpositions, their accomplishments took root in recentyears. Prior to the last decade it seemed pretty widelyaccepted that women often had to work harder to getinto college, hold certain jobs and obtain leadershippositions, then their male counterparts and that nothinghad been given to them, it had been earned.Authentic Insider | Page 11by Kathryn Marsh

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Authentic Insider | Page 13This resolution seemed to recognize thatwomen had always been a part of the fabric ofour history and made real contributions to ournation. This resolution appeared to recognizethat women had had to fight for the right tovote, for equal opportunities, and for civilrights, and this resolution decreed that for toolong women had been overlooked andundervalued. Yet despite the fact that his jointresolution passed almost 40 years ago womenare still undervalued/ Women earn 16% less onaverage than men. Despite almost 40 years ofrecognizing women’s contributions, women stillseem undervalued, for some it appears womenare more undervalued now than they were evena few short years ago. Today we see women in leadership rolesquestioned for their very audacity of standing inthat role, people tearing them down statingthat they only got the job because they were awoman, not because they earned it, despite thewoman’s degrees, background, or aptitude. Weare seeing women leaders and organizationsbeing removed from government webpages andgovernment agencies being told they cannotrecognize Women’s History Month.It is important to remember that these actionsimpact not just women in these roles but young girlsand young boys who are watching. It helps shapetheir world view about what boys and girls can andcan’t do, and it shapes their view about how womencan or should be treated. When girls go togovernment websites to look for potential careersand don’t see a pathway to leadership, they don’t seea way they can succeed. On January 22, 2025 NASA sent out a memoordering employees to scrub the website of certainterms. Within the list was “anything specificallytargeting women (women in leadership, etc.)” OnJanuary 29, 2025, NASAs website had removed theirarticle about their 1978 class of astronauts thatincluded the first female, black and Asian-AmericanAstronauts. Women at NASA is no longer an optionin the drop-down menu on the webpage, instead youhave to manually search “Women in NASA” to findthe page that was once prominently displayed.However, it is important to note that while women inleadership in no longer prominently displayed on thewebsite the updated website features manyphotographs of women as you move throughout thesite that you can click on to learn more.However, this subtle change wasn’t just with NASA,according to Military.Com, the Army and Navy haveboth taken down webpages that highlighted thecontribution of female service members. West Pointwent even further, not just shuttering websites butshutting down all clubs for women in response to theExecutive Order on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion.This included the Women Engineers Club and TheWomen’s Leadership Club that had been in existencesince West Point first began accepting femalecadets.This same Executive Order prohibits the militaryfrom telling members that “America’s foundingdocuments are racist or sexist”, which has resultedin Department of Defense schools banning books onHarriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Ruth Bader Ginsburgand countless other books as well as not allowing K-12 schools to have Women in STEM clubs.“We are seeing women leaders andorganizations being removed fromgovernment webpages and governmentagencies being told they cannot recognizeWomen’s History Month.”

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Authentic Insider |Page 14But It’s not just the Department of Defense.Women in science are feeling the pressure aswell. As of 2021, women, despite making up halfof the US population only made up one third ofthe STEM jobs in the country. With the roleback of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusionemployment practices that guaranteed equalaccess to jobs many women scientists andfederal employees now feel unwelcome in theprofessional setting. (nbcnews.com)The National Science Foundation instructed ahalt on all research that contains the followingwords (partial list): Female; Gender;Marginalized; Inequities; Inclusion; Oppression;Trauma; Underrepresented; Victims; Women. When scientists and researchers can’t eventstudy issues that relate to women, or directlyimpact women how are our voices to be heard?How can our health be improved? Where can weturn to for help?While all of this may seem overwhelming, this iswhen it is important to remember – “Womenhave always been there, influencing humancivilizations and the rise and fall of nations.”There is nothing women can’t accomplish. Ifthey don’t like what the government is doingthey can change the government. Historythroughout time shows that women can changecivilizations and the 1987 joint resolutionrecognized the work that women did for equaland civil rights. Below is just a snapshot ofwomen in our political history.In 1884 – Belva Lockwood became the first woman topractice law before the US Supreme Court and ran forPresident on the Equal Rights Party Ticket when shewasn’t even legally allowed to vote. Today threewomen currently sit on the US Supreme Court.1916 – Jeannette Rankin – A republican from Montanabecame the first woman to be elected to Congress, 4years before the 19th Amendment was ratified.. Today127 women are sitting in Congress.1925 – Texas sat an all women State Supreme Court.Sadly, this is the one and only time in US history aState Supreme Court has been made up of only women. 1948 – Margaret Chase Smith became the first womanelected to the Senate. There are currently 26 womenserving in the Senate. 1952 – Charlotta Spears Bass – was the first BlackWoman nominee for Vice President and this past yearwe saw the first Black/Indian Woman nominee forPresident who was our sitting Vice President.1990 – Hawaii elected all woman house delegation toCongress. Patricia Saiki and Patsy Mink1993 – Janet Reno became the first woman to serve asUS Attorney General1997 – Madeline Albright became the first woman toserve as Secretary of State2001- Condoleezza Rice became the first woman toserve as National Security Advisor2007 – Nancy Pelosi became the first woman to serveas Speaker of the House2009- Janet Napolitano became the first woman tohold the post of Secretary of Homeland Security2019 – Nevada became the first state where womenheld the majority of state legislative seats2020 – Kamala Harris became the first female VicePresident 2021 – Deb Haaland became the first Native Americanto hold a cabinet position.Belva Lockwood

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Authentic Insider | Page 15This list is just a snapshot of firsts, there are somany more first in our 250 year history and inbetween every first there were women whocontinued to carry the torch for other women tohold positions in government, to help passlegislation and to hold government accountable.There was Sandra Day O’Conner and Ruth BaderGinsburg, without whom we would not havedecades of legal precedence on gender equalityand women’s rights. Outside of governmentthere are countless women in science withoutwhom, who knows where we might be today –from Rosalind Franklin who worked on thediscovery of the structure of DNA, to BarbarMcClintock who came up with the theory ofgenes that could transpose within chromosomesto Marie Curie who discovered the radioactiveelements polonium and radium to KatherineJohnson the mathematician depicted in HiddenFigures and countless others in the past andworking today to make a world a better place.So this March – Celebrate, Celebrate everysingle day the amazing women who have alwaysbeen there and will always be there whosestories have been told in books and films or justpassed on from family member to familymember. Women will continue to influencecivilization and the rise and fall of nations. Wedon’t need websites to make us great, “womenhave made women great”A few recommended books for the Month of March:It’s My Country Too – Women’s Military Stories fromthe American Revolution to Afghanistan – Jerri Bell& Tracy Crow A More Perfect Party – Januita TolliverMy Own Words – Ruth Bader Ginsburg Erased: A history of International Thought WithoutMen -Patricia Owns

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The quality of being fair and impartial, ensuring thateveryone has access to the same opportunities andresources.UNDERSTANDING DEI:by: Lorilee BinstockMore Than Just an AcronymPage 17DIVERSITY -EQUITY -INCLUSION -The practice or quality of including individuals from arange of different social and ethnic backgrounds, as wellas different genders, sexual orientations, and otheridentities.The action or state of including or being included within agroup or structure, fostering a sense of belonging andparticipation for all.Before diving into the importance of Diversity,Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), it's essential to firstunderstand what these terms truly mean.“At its core, DEI is aboutprinciples we are taught froma young age: fairness,kindness, and respect.”At its core, DEI is about principles we are taughtfrom a young age: fairness, kindness, and respect.Yet, in professional settings, DEI initiatives areoften met with resistance, with critics arguing thatthey unfairly disadvantage certain groups,particularly white males. However, sucharguments fail to acknowledge a fundamentaltruth: embracing diversity and equity does notmean excluding qualified individuals. Instead, itensures that opportunities are accessible to allqualified candidates, regardless of background.Authentic Insider |

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The Case for DEI inthe WorkplaceThe benefits of DEI in the workplace are vast, butone example has personally stood out to me foryears: the state of women's healthcare.As a woman and a mother, I have been shockedby the gaps in medical research and care forwomen’s health, spanning prenatal andpostpartum care to menopause. Despiteadvancements since Elizabeth Blackwell becamethe first woman to earn a medical degree in theU.S. in 1849, women in medicine still facesignificant challenges. According to the AmericanAcademy of Pediatrics, while women now makeup more than half of medical school applicantsand matriculants, they continue to struggle toobtain residency placements, leadershippositions, and academic promotions that allowthem to influence policies and budgets.Page 18For decades, men have dominated the healthcaresystem, yet here I am, a 40-year-old woman, justlearning about perimenopause and PremenstrualDysphoric Disorder (PMDD). Fortunately, somewomen-led organizations, such as Femgevity, aretaking matters into their own hands by developingdiagnostic tools and healthcare servicesspecifically for women. However, theseresources remain largely unknown to the generalpublic, leaving many women unaware of potentialsolutions for their symptoms.Authentic Insider |

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The Consequences ofExclusion in Women'sHealthcare“Why do men continue tohold decision-makingpower over women’sreproductive rights whilematernal mortality ratesfor Black women remaindisproportionately high?Page 19The disparities in women's healthcare gobeyond a lack of awareness. Consider thealarming maternal mortality rates amongAfrican American women. Why do mencontinue to hold decision-making powerover women’s reproductive rights whilematernal mortality rates for Black womenremain disproportionately high?Postpartum depression and psychosis arealso severely under-researched andunderfunded. Instead of fast-trackingresearch and treatment, society oftendemonizes the women who experiencethese conditions. Tragic cases, such asthe recent incidents in Wyoming andMassachusetts where mothers sufferingfrom postpartum disorders harmed theirchildren, highlight the dire need for betterunderstanding, early intervention, andaccessible resources. These women werenot inherently violent; they were sufferingfrom serious, yet preventable, medicalconditions that remain misunderstood dueto a lack of prioritization in research andhealthcare policies.Authentic Insider |

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The Bigger Picture: Why DEI Matters for EveryonePage 20Diversity and inclusion are not just aboutrepresentation—they are about progress.When women and other marginalized groupshave a seat at the table, they bringperspectives that drive innovation, createsolutions, and improve lives. A diverse andinclusive society fosters awareness andunderstanding, helping to eliminate ignoranceand systemic inequalities.Without DEI, we risk stagnation. We fail toacknowledge the needs of our communities,and we miss opportunities to create a morejust and informed society. The conversationabout DEI is not about exclusion; it is aboutensuring that everyone has an equalopportunity to contribute and thrive. Only byembracing these principles can we movetoward a more equitable and enlightenedfuture.“A diverse andinclusivesociety fostersawareness andunderstanding,helping toeliminateignorance andsystemicinequalities.”“Theconversationabout DEI isnot aboutexclusion; it isabout ensuringthat everyonehas an equalopportunity tocontribute andthrive.”Authentic Insider |

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Authentic Insider |Page 22 he world of angel investing holds enormouspotential—not only as a financial opportunity but asa platform for empowering women entrepreneursand investors alike. However, the current realitypresents significant challenges for women seekingfunding. Despite the fact that women- led businessesare often just as innovative and capable as those led bymen, only about 2% of venture capital dollars go tofemale founders. This stark disparity begs thequestion: how can we change the narrative and createan ecosystem where women receive the funding theydeserve?Angel investing, which involves individuals investingin early-stage companies in exchange for equity,offers a unique avenue for addressing this gap. Byincreasing the number of women participating asboth investors and entrepreneurs, we can unlock amore equitable future in funding. This articleexplores what angel investing is; why women receiveless funding and actionable steps we can take to levelthe playing field.WHAT IS ANGEL INVESTING?Angel investing is a form of private equity whereindividuals, often referred to as “angels” providecapital to early-stage startups in exchange for equityor convertible debt. Unlike venture capitalists, whomanage pooled funds, angel investors use their ownafter-tax dollars to back businesses. Whiletraditionally thought of as an opportunity reserved forthe wealthy, regulatory changes in the U.S. since 2016have made angel investing more accessible. Equitycrowdfunding platforms now allow people to invest instartups for as little as $50, opening doors for abroader range of investors, including women.What makes angel investing particularly exciting isthat it’s not just about money—it’s about mentorship,community building, and creating change. Angelsoften contribute their expertise, networks, and adviceto help founders grow their businesses. For womenwho are new to angel investing, this is an incredibleway to use your financial resources and intellectualcapital to support causes you care about and driveinnovation forward.U N L O C K I N G O P P O R T U N I T I E S :Angel Investinga n d t h e P a t h t o E q u i t y f o rW o m e n E n t r e p r e n e u r sW r i t t e n b y M a r c i a D a w o o d , A u t h o r o f D o G o o d W h i l e D o i n g W e l lT

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THE FUNDING GAP FOR WOMEN ENTREPRENEURSThe fact that women-led startups receive such a smallportion of venture capital funding is not justdisheartening—it’s a missed economic opportunity.Research consistently shows that women-ledcompanies deliver higher returns on investmentcompared to their male-led counterparts. Thesebusinesses tend to be more capital-efficient, generatehigher revenues, and foster workplace cultures thatare inclusive and productive.Yet, biases—both conscious and unconscious—persist. Many investors, who are predominantly male,struggle to see the potential in female-led ventures,often defaulting to networks and founders that “looklike them.” This creates a cycle where women areunderrepresented in both funding and leadershiproles. Compounding this is the fact that women oftenbuild businesses in industries that are overlooked bytraditional venture capitalists, such as health care,education, and consumer products—areas that deeplyaffect our daily lives.THE RIPPLE EFFECT OF INVESTING IN WOMENWhen women have access to capital, the impact is feltfar beyond the businesses they build. Women aremore likely to reinvest their earnings in theircommunities, prioritize sustainability, and createworkplaces that foster equity. By funding women, wefund progress.Angel investing is not just about financial returns; it’sabout emotional and societal returns as well. It’s aboutbelieving in the potential of visionary founders tosolve problems and create change. When we invest inwomen, we invest in a future that is more innovative,inclusive, and impactful.Let’s create a world where women receive their fairshare of funding and recognition. The journey startswith us. Will you join in?Page 23Authentic Insider | “WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO REINVESTTHEIR EARNINGS IN THEIR COMMUNITIES,PRIORITIZE SUSTAINABILITY, AND CREATEWORKPLACES THAT FOSTER EQUITY. BYFUNDING WOMEN, WE FUND PROGRESS.”

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Authentic Insider | Page 24HOW TO EMPOWER WOMEN IN THEFUNDING ECOSYSTEMChange won’t happen overnight, but there areconcrete steps we can take to create a moreequitable funding ecosystem:1. CREATE AWARENESS AND EDUCATIONMany women aren’t aware of the opportunitiesavailable to them through angel investing.Offering accessible workshops, online courses,and mentorship programs can help demystify theprocess and build confidence. My book, Do GoodWhile Doing Well, serves as a “why-to”; guidefor anyone looking to get started in angelinvesting, offering practical advice and strategiesfor making an impact.2. SUPPORT NETWORKS AND COMMUNITIESJoining angel groups that prioritize fundingwomen-led businesses, such as Golden Seeds, canbe a game-changer. These groups provide accessto deal, flow and foster a sense of community andcollaboration. Platforms like Republic,StartEngine and WeFunder, also make it easierto find startups aligned with your values.3. LEVERAGE PHILANTHROPIC DOLLARSDonor-advised funds (DAFs) provide a uniqueway to channel philanthropic capital into for-profit businesses. By investing in female-ledstartups through a DAF, you can amplify yourimpact while still supporting charitable causes.4. CELEBRATE SUCCESS STORIESRepresentation matters. Sharing stories ofsuccessful female entrepreneurs and investors caninspire the next generation. Highlighting thesewins—whether through media, events, or socialplatforms—helps to normalize women’s presencein the startup ecosystem.THE ROLE OF WOMEN AS ANGEL INVESTORSOne powerful way to bridge this gap is to encouragemore women to become angel investors. Whenwomen are part of the decision-making process, theyare more likely to invest in female- led businesses. It’snot just about creating opportunities for women—it’sabout diversifying perspectives, which leads to betterinvestment decisions and more innovative outcomes.Studies show that diverse teams and diverse investorbases outperform those that lack representation.Being an angel investor doesn’t require you to be aswealthy as what you see on TV. Many angel groupsand platforms make it possible to participate withrelatively small amounts of money. Equitycrowdfunding and donor-advised funds (DAFs) areexamples of vehicles that democratize access to angelinvesting. These options allow women to contributetheir dollars strategically while also working to aligntheir investments with their values.

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Authentic Insider |Page 27 s a child, I quickly understood that mysurvival hinged on my ability to navigate thetumultuousseas of my mother’s ever-changing moods.She was a tempest, swirling unpredictablybetween moments of tender affection andsudden cruelty, often without a hint ofwarning.I honed the skill of making myself small, like achameleon blending seamlessly into itssurroundings, transforming into whoever sherequired me to be at a given moment tosidestep her wrath.Yet, in my youthful naivety, what I failed tograsp was that in my desperate quest to keepher content, I was gradually eroding my ownsense of self.From birth, our nervous system yearns forconnection through sensory channels – sight,sound, touch, and smell.An infant attunes to the mother’s voice evenfrom the womb, while a child naturally seeksthe soothing presence of a caregiver’sembrace.This sensory bond is crucial for our emotionalstability. Yet, when this connection becomesunpredictable, contingent, or even damaging,it disrupts our sense of safety, triggeringsurvivalresponses that can echo throughout alifetime.For me, attachment felt like navigating a warzone. I discovered early on that my mother’saffection came with strings attached.By Milena “Mila” Stankovic & Dr. Jamie HuysmanIt hinged on my flawless report cards, myunquestioning nods to her demands, and mysilent absorption of her sorrows instead ofvoicing my own.Whenever I accidentally knocked a glass oforange juice onto the floor or stumbled clumsilyacross the room, I would tense up, anticipatingher furious reaction.The sticky, spreading puddle on the tiles wasnever just a simple spill – it was a glaringtestament to my failures in her eyes.I quickly understood that blunders wereforbidden, and the anxiety of falling short in herexpectations far surpassed my desire for anysolace or reassurance.Much like Rapunzel imprisoned in her loftytower, I was raised in a world where controlmasqueraded as protection.The Cost ofInauthenticity*A

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Authentic Insider | Page 28My mother’s words were the architects of myreality:- “You can’t trust anyone but me.”;- “The world is dangerous.”- “If you don’t do exactly what I say, you’ll fail.”With each layer of isolation she wrapped aroundme, the more I came to believe that herapproval was the air I needed to breathe, theonly way to survive.And yet, even after I fled that tower, itsoppressive weight clung to me like a shadow. Ifound myself questioning every decision,constantly seeking permission for things thatshould have been mine to claim withouthesitation.My voice faltered, a whisper of what it couldhave been, as I feared that the wrong word oraction could sever the fragile bonds ofaffection.In every disapproving glance, every rejection,every unmet expectation, I glimpsed mymother’s familiar disappointment.I had physically left the tower, but its specterlingered, a haunting reminder of the scars thatremained.The Crippling Effects of Toxic ParentingGrowing up in a toxic household leaves acomplex web of scars. On one hand, anxietybecomes your constant companion, a shadowtrailing you as you’re trained to expect anger.On the other, there’s a strange familiarity in thechaos, a comfort in knowing the rules, even ifthey’re twisted.CPTSD weaves itself into your being, with fearclinging on long after the threat has vanished,yet there’s a part of you that clings to the hopeof normalcy.I spent years caught in the push and pull ofproving myself – believing that if I just workedhard enough, achieved enough, and fixedenough of myself, my mother might finally loveme the way I desperately needed.Yet, there was always a nagging doubt: what ifno accomplishment would ever be enough?Every success felt hollow, unable to erase thedeep-rooted belief that perhaps I was not nherently lovable.But still, I couldn’t fully let go of the hope thatmaybe, just maybe, things could change.*With each layer of isolation shewrapped around me, the more Icame to believe that her approvalwas the air I needed to breathe,the only way to survive.

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Authentic Insider | Page 29The Importance of Authenticity in ParentingChildren are born seeking connection, notperfection. They don’t need flawless parents – they needpresent ones.As attachment deepens, a child begins to mimicand identify with their caregivers. If thatidentification is built on fear, shame, or emotionalneglect, they will struggle to trust themselves andothers.Children who feel safe being themselves grow intoadults who trust their own emotions and decisions.But when parents suppress a child’s authenticity –when they teach them that their feelings are toomuch, that their needs are inconvenient, or thattheir identity is flawed – the child learns to hide.They become people-pleasers, unable to setboundaries, seeking significance in externalvalidation rather than in their own sense of self.The Journey Back to AuthenticityHealing from toxic parenting isn’t about pretendingthe past didn’t happen. It’s about recognizing howthose experiences shaped you and consciouslychoosing a different path.It’s about re-parenting yourself, learning toembrace the parts of you that were onceunacceptable in your childhood home. I’ve had toremind myself, over and over, that my worth isn’tentangled with my achievements or how well Iconform to someone else’s expectations.That I don’t need to push myself to the brink ofexhaustion to earn love or acceptance. It’s okay, I’velearned, to take up space, to stumble and makemistakes, to simply exist in my own skin. Authenticity isnot just about honesty – it’s about wholeness. It’s aboutallowing yourself to be seen, even when it’suncomfortable.Healing from toxic parenting isn’t about pretending thepast didn’t happen or erasing the echoes of old wounds.It’s about recognizing how those experiences haveintricately woven themselves into the fabric of who youare and consciously choosing to tread a different path,one of your own making.It’s about building relationships based on mutualrespect rather than fear or obligation. It’s aboutbreaking the cycle so that the next generation doesn’thave to grow up doubting their own value.STAR Network, where I am a co-founder, and TAR Anoncan support you in this journey by helping you reparentyourself and reclaim your authenticity. Through oursupport meetings and resources, you can learn andpractice tools such as self-compassion, boundary-setting, and nervous system regulation.For example, practicing self-validation can help youdismantle the inner critic that was conditioned by pastabuse while learning to set and enforce healthyboundaries allows you to cultivate relationships builton respect rather than control.Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift we canoffer children isn’t the illusion of perfection – it’sgranting them the freedom to be themselves, exactly asthey are, without reservation or fear.Illustrations by Cali Binstock*

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Through TAR Anon, I was able todig deep into my untreatedCPTSD and understand moreabout my addictions to opioidsand other drugs. Through TAR Anon, I gainedvaluable insights into myalcohol addiction. Thank you somuch for offering theseamazing meetings!TAR Anon was key in freeing mefrom narcissistic abuse.ToxicAbusive Relationships candestroy you! But TAR Anonhelped me break free!ITAI S.ROB W. ANNA L.GABRIELE Y.TAR Anon provided a safe andanonymous space that wasessential in my recovery. Ithelped me realize my addictionissues stemmed fromchildhood.Powered by:taranon.org contact@tarnetwork.orgFree TAR Anon MeetingsWhy Is TAR Anon™ for you?Our STAR LIGHTS Will Tell You Why RelationshipsParental AlienationToxic FamiliesToxic WorksitesPage 31Authentic Insider |

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Authentic Insider | Page 33By Kathryn SelvidgeIn the Shadow of Another..a lifelong struggleAs a young girl, I always felt different from everyoneelse. I knew my family was difficult, and talking aboutmy brother was not allowed. It rendered me with a lotof anxiety and not knowing what I was to expect frommy home life. It catapulted me into years of my adultlife of insecurities, self-judgment, and self-doubt. It emotionally gripped me and stopped me fromreaching my full potential.I’ve wanted to write about my relationship with mybrother and how mental illness can set the tone of anentire family for about 30 years. So, I becameinspired to create stories for children involvingcomplex family dynamics. The idea arose from mystruggles of growing up with an older sibling who hasa mental illness and how this affected me not onlywithin the home but also in my school life andbeyond.Finding my path through all the emotion anddisturbance that lies so deep within a sibling is alifelong project. You’re terrified by your lonelinessand overwhelmed by the lack of guidance you neverreceive. The pain and shame you wear daily are areminder that you and your family are seen asdifferent.Through my stories, I want others in similar situationsto know that they are not alone and can findresilience and strength within themselves. I wantthem to live their best lives possible despite being engulfed by their circumstances.I hope to provide a meaningful narrative that stayswith them forever through this book and futurestories, which are ideal for exploring humankindness, self-trust, and believing in oneself, and,most importantly, overcoming immense challengesearly in life through one’s actions and attitudes.People are complex, and no two are the same. The story is brought to life with charmingillustrations of animal characters representing thediverse individuals in our society. Mental illnessdoes not choose one group over another. Animalsportray us all. The innocence of animals is soanalogous to the vulnerability of children. I’vealways felt love and acceptance from my cats. Theybrought me joy and the sense of calm andgroundedness I desperately sought.The book’s perspective reminds readers that everystory has two sides, challenging preconceivednotions and fostering empathy. When parents readthese stories with their children, I hope they exploreemotional depth so children with siblings who havechallenges or even mental illness can overcomehardships and grow stronger. They can flourish inlife, love, and friendships! The educational valuethat this story teaches young minds is that pre-judging others is not the correct answer. Itintroduces fostering empathy and understandingfrom an early age.

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Authentic Insider | Page 34Guilt is so strong for the other siblings. To feelguilty for being the normal one – having friends –doing well in school – living your life. You can feelpressure to “undo” the behavior of the othersibling. It is especially difficult when the mentalillness is wroughtwith anger, hate, and violence. You feel the needto be the one who brings light out of the darkness.This can be extremely difficult if you’re the onethat all those emotions are directed towards. Youbecome acquainted with confusion and fear. Whyis this myfault? What have I done to bring his indignationdown on me? It becomes worse when your parentsare too overwhelmed to realize what this is doingto you. Who do I turn to? It never seems to end.You blame yourself yet not knowing why. You canbecomeyour own worst enemy. You ask yourself, is this thefeeling I’m meant to walk with through my life?One day, you realize you are the only one who canchoose your path. Sometimes, that isoverpowering. Reflecting that you and you alonehold the key to your destiny, it’s easier to criticizeand blame than to change. But it’s the only wayout, the only true path to inner peace andhappiness within yourself and your life.Writing these stories was an awakening. The onlyway to de-stigmatize something is to talk about it—take action over inaction, discussion over silence,and remove the shame or disparagingcharacterizations with dialogue. Mental illness isnot someone’s fault; it’s the reality of a disease.One that needs attention and, most of all,understanding and support for all those affected.We can only overcome the dehumanization of thisdisease by facing all that it encompasses.I realized that it really is okay to be differentfrom everyone else. You bring yourpersonality and talents to those whogenuinely matter in your life, your true friendsand family.At any given moment, you have the power tosay; This is not how MY story will end. Weshould and need to be true to ourselves –always. This will lead to the best outcome forour future selves.I cannot claim the knowledge or intent ofanother,Only my own.To second guess and wonder why,I know I only try.With what that says or what that might,It happens every night.I will, I might,I must fight to find my light.To only come to terms with who I am,And not that of another,Of sadness, knowing it’s my onlybrother.For all that be,There is a key,I will internally be free of not just me,But that of all the others.Kloe'sNewStartLink to Kathryn Selvidge’sChildren’s book

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What I’velearnedDon’t settle for a therapist who doesn’t feel right for you.I learned that good wasn’t good enough. It can be hard work to find a therapist that is worth your time and trust. The goodnews is that it is standard practice for them to do a freeconsultation usually virtually or over the phone. This takes a lotof pressure off, knowing you are not paying for someone whoisn’t a good fit. Before requesting a consultation, the first step is to search! I knew what I was looking for which may or may not be the case for you. I knew the key words to add to my search on psychologytoday.com so the results affordedsome aligned options to then look further into. If you are not sure what you are looking for in a therapist, Iencourage you to get clear on what you want to address intherapy and what kind of therapist you might click with. Lookingup the different types of therapy can help with this. I was doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for years and Idid get so much from that but at a certain point I needed tomove on to something deeper and to address my trauma headon. More importantly, I needed to find someone that I feltunderstood my struggle in the context of trauma and ADHD.Page 37My search words:Trauma-informedADHD orneurodivergent client baseParts work/InternalFamily Systems therapySomatic experiencingEMDRFinding a good fit By: Cali BinstockAuthentic Insider |

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/Page 38Feeling unsafe in therapy would be thebiggest red flag in my opinion. Sure it maytake some time to warm up to a new personand start divulging more difficultexperiences, but if after that period ofgetting to know one another you are stillholding back it could be the sign of a bad fit. I have created this space in the magazine togo into the details of what I’ve been learningfrom therapy and I can’t wait to share withyou those pieces of growth. I often get art homework from my therapistand I am eager to share the tools that I’vebeen illustrating and reflections that I’vebeen drawing! For now I’ll leave you withthis piece above I’ve just been working on asI illustrate my toolbox of coping skills. Areminder to breathe deeply.It can be so scary to open up and to start from thebeginning with someone new regardless of ifyou’ve been in therapy for years or never at all.This is what stopped me from even looking for anew therapist. Meeting someone new and catching them up on mylife, relationships, struggles, trauma - it’sdaunting. But I want to encourage you. With mynew therapist, we take it one step at a time andfocus on what I want to address which is usuallypresent day issues and coping skills. My sessions are not always just talking. We havedone grounding exercises when I needed help withanxiety and overwhelm where my therapist talkedme through a guided meditation to feel morecentered. We have used bilateral stimulationwhere I tap on my chest to reinforce a feeling ofconnection. She has helped me understand my emotionalregulation issues through the lens of sensoryoverload or sensory seeking and we’ve hashed outways for me to ease my senses or spark themdepending on the situation.It is not easy to talk about everything in your lifethat caused pain. This will be spread out over timethough and you can guide the sessions using yourcapacity as a guide in what you can handle thatday. Therapy is for you to steer and you alwayshave access to the wheel even if you want to ridepassenger at times, which is also okay.I was looking for someone who wasn’t the mosttraditional and before reaching out I checked outher personal website where I read her own writingand felt a connection. It eased my anxiety whenopening up that this person is safe. Safety is the biggest factor in how helpful therapycan be. If we feel safe with the person we areopening up to, we can go there and speak withoutreservation and be understood completely. We cantake off the mask, reveal ourselves and ourstruggles and be vulnerable because only then canwe be fully understood and helped by these caringpeople.Authentic Insider |

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T HE PA I N O FH YP O CR I SYPage 40Work with me here. And yes, I haven’t been sleeping allthat well as our world craters.What Creates Anger: A Starter ListSo, as I’ve shared many a time, I’ve felt and feel lots ofanger at mean and rude people, folks who exhibitnastiness and snarkiness and a profound inability tosee and act well with respect to the other.I’m angry at “takers,” most especially if I’ve been (orothers are) taken in.Discrimination of any sort, whether involving race orcreed or ethnicity or gender(s), infuriates me. Teachersor coaches or doctors or priests or rabbis or partnersor parents who abuse those in their care when theycommitted to a care based relationship are among theworst scum.I’m angered by leaders who create toxic workplacesand disrespect and disregard the voices of theiremployees. I’m angered by those who crave power forpower’s sake.All intolerable behavior and that’s just a starter list.Yes, these individuals exhibit deplorable, reprehensiblebehavior, most of which is under their control. But asI’ve been pondering, I think what is also anger-makingis the HYPOCRISY, as well as the implicit breach oftrust, that the just describe behaviors manifest.The Right Reverend Butte got me moving toward thisunderstanding through her Inaugural Prayer Service,the extended interview of her thereafter (and thearticles too) and her own comments and words abouther sermon. Her recent book titled aptly How to Learnto be Brave, which I just purchased and startedreading, has added depth to my understanding.HypocrisyHere are a few examples of hypocritical behavior,although there are many.If you hold yourself out as a person of true faith (sayholding a Bible swearing fealty to the Constitution orattributing one’s salvation to your G-d or you wear orhang a cross visible to others or don a collar or aYarmulke or attend a sacred place with regularitywhether that is a church or a mosque or a temple),outsiders take your faith as a given. You are seen as areligious person. And with that comes an expectationof certain behaviors: kindness, decency, mercy andrespect. A commitment to “other than self” is implied.If you wear a medical professional’s white coat or astethoscope or a coach’s whistle, you hold yourself outas a professional committed to helping others. You areseen as a person who proffers help to folks (non-faithbased). There is an expectation regarding yourbehavior and demeanor. Those engaging with you haveimplicit trust that you will not hurt them.And if you stand in front of a class or work withstudents, if you are elected to office to serve thepeople, if you are licensed to practice your profession,you hold yourself out as having standards by whichyou must abide. And the folks around you placeexpectations on you based on the role you play andthe work you do and they place their trust in you; theyassume rightly that you will help, not hurt them. (Thisapplies to all licensed professionals whether you are aplumber or a real estate broker or a lawyer apsychologist or a hairdresser.)By Karen GrossAuthentic Insider |

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“If you create expectations and don’tlive up to them and breach them withregularity and without even a hint ofremorse or self awareness of the deepresponsibility you undertook . . . , youcause and create an extra layer ofhurt.”Page 41And here’s the Crux of the Problem:If you create expectations (in any number of ways) and don’t liveup to them and breach them with regularity and without even ahint of remorse or self awareness of the deep responsibility youundertook (whether that is as a friend or lover or doctor or nurseor lawyer or priest or rabbi or teacher or counselor or leader(among may other possible roles), you cause and create an extralayer of hurt.Not only are folks acting badly, but these actors are role defyingand trust breaching and expectation thwarting. It is a doublewhammy: first folks act badly and add to that, the misdeeds ormistreatment run counter to how they portray themselves to youand the larger world.Try it this way: a parent who abuses a child is doing a horriblething, but it is made all the worse by the implicit expectation thatparents are the caregivers and trusted adults in a child’s life. It isbad enough that a child is harmed; it is even worse that they areharmed by people on whom they (the children) rely and who holdthemselves out as caregivers. That is why the pain and anger areso great: there is the pain and hurt of the bad acts themselvesbut also the thwarted broken expectations about the actor. Ifyou’ve ever been hurt by a parent or witnessed parental abuse orboth, this observation should strike a chord. And the doublewhammy idea can be extended into other arenas.SignageSuppose we wore signs that told the truth about us. (I’m playingoff an idea of Frank Bruni here.) The signs could say: I’m a bad,abusive parent or I’m a mean person or I’m an sexually abusingdoctor or I’m a narcissist or I’m a poor coach or I’m a misogynistor I discriminate or I’m not a true friend or I’m actually notreligious or I’m a power fiend or I’m actually a leader of onlysycophants.Quite the signage. Yes, it will never happen. I get that. (And therecould be positive good self-revelatory signs but that’s a topic foranother day.).But:Imagine. We’d be warned. We’d be on guard. We’dmake choices. We’d have options. We wouldn’t beduped. We wouldn’t be deceived. We wouldn’t bedisappointed. We wouldn’t have our faith and trustchallenged.Now the signs wouldn’t excuse the bad behavior.They wouldn’t right the wrongs. But they wouldtemper expectations. They would curb blindsiding.The bad acts would not be as trust breaching.And therein lies the sin of hypocrisy. If you pretendto be something you are not, if you mask yourself inthe cloak of a profession or wear the labels leader orparent or friend or teacher or express religiosity ANDyou don’t act in accordance with that role or don’tlive the values of your role or your faith, you aredoing added damage.So the bad behavior angers us. But the pretense ofbeing something other than what one is adds to theharm, the damage, the hurt.That is why we are so bothered and angered when aleader or a supposed religious person or trustedprofessional or friend or lover or parent acts badly:they are almost all hypocrites.Think about those who anger us. It is not just theirdeeds that harm us; it is their professing to besomething they aren’t. Double damage; double harm.Shame on them. All of them. You aren’t doingyourselves or your profession or yourfamily/friends/lovers proud.Authentic Insider |

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As the mental health crisis reaches devastating levels post pandemic, more and more people arelooking for ways to manage their mental health. How does a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a veteran struggling with PTSD and an athletesuffering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), trauma, and addiction find effective healing andrelief? Psychedelics. A treatment that was studied and used as effective treatment for mental health disorders until itwas banned and categorized as a schedule I drug in the 1970s, psychedelics have providedmuch needed relief for thousands of people suffering from trauma and mental health issues.Regardless of the laws banning these treatments, the people who understood the power of thesemedicines feel more empowered to find ways to help others find healing through them. On thefollowing page click on the graphic to view the Proof of Concept for "Our Own PersonalRealities." An Upcoming Documentary about the Fight toBring Psychedelic Healing Back into the LightAuthentic Insider | Page 43Page 43

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Labour - Paris Paloma Run the World (Girls) – BeyoncéRespect – Aretha FranklinWoman – Doja CatIndependent Women Pt. 1 – Destiny’s ChildMan! I Feel Like a Woman! – Shania TwainThe man - taylor swiftBrave – Sara BareillesStronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly ClarksonUnstoppable – SiaRise Up – Andra DayRoar – Katy PerrySuperwoman – Alicia KeysLike a Girl – LizzoSisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves – Eurythmics & Aretha FranklinCELEBRATING WOMEN This Women’s History Month Playlistcelebrates female strength, resilience,and empowerment through iconicanthems and uplifting melodies. Fromdemanding respect (Respect), embracingindependence (Independent Women Pt.1), and breaking barriers (Just a Girl), tochampioning self-love (Good as Hell)and unstoppable determination (RiseUp), these songs honor the power,courage, and triumph of womeneverywhere.Celebrating WomenCelebrating WomenMUSICMUSICMUSICMUSICPage 46Authentic Insider |

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Authentic Insider |Discover a joyful reminder of the ways that every child is unique andspecial, from the beloved creator of The Dot, Happy Dreamer, and NewYork Times bestseller, The Word Collector. Here, Reynolds remindsreaders to "be your own work of art." To be patient, persistent, and true.Because there is one, and only one, YOU.In the tradition of books like Oh, the Places You'll Go! and I Wish YouMore comes a wholly original, inspirational celebration of individualityas only Peter H. Reynolds can create!*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.We know her today as Harriet Tubman, but in her lifetime she wascalled by many names. As General Tubman she was a Union spy. AsMoses she led hundreds to freedom on the Underground Railroad. AsMinty she was a slave whose spirit could not be broken. As Aramintashe was a young girl whose father showed her the stars and the firststeps on the path to freedom.This formative board book is an appreciation of neighborhood communitiesand the many ways in which they help develop empathy, compassion, andcollective responsibility. Through a handful of specific yet universalscenarios, set in four different kinds of communities (suburban, urban,rural, and manufactured home), young readers will understand what itmeans to be a part of a neighborhood community and celebrate how toshare with and care for one another.Page 47

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This inspiring anthology is the first to convey the rich experiences and contributionsof women in the American military in their own words—from the Revolutionary Warto the present wars in the Middle East.Serving with the Union Army during the Civil War as a nurse, scout, spy, and soldier,Harriet Tubman tells what it was like to be the first American woman to lead a raidagainst an enemy, freeing some 750 slaves. Busting gender stereotypes, JosetteDermody Wingo enlisted as a gunner’s mate in the navy in World War II to teachsailors to fire Oerlikon antiaircraft guns and so much more.Envision yourself in the midst of life’s hustle and bustle—juggling workcommitments, family obligations, and never-ending to-do lists. While you long formeaningful friendships that go beyond the surface, the path to forging andsustaining such connections often feels like a maze with unforeseen challenges andconstant diversions. But you’re not alone.In a world where connections often feel fleeting and relationships constantly evolve,the significance of friendships cannot be overstated. Yet, the journey of establishingand maintaining adult friendships can be challenging. Navigating this intimate andsometimes uncharted territory, Dr. Kimberly Horn offers a rich tapestry of insights,research-backed strategies, and real-life anecdotes which will resonate with anyoneseeking meaningful bonds.In 1972, New York Representative Shirley Chisholm broke the ice in American politicswhen she became the first Black woman to run for president of the United States.Chisholm left behind a coalition-building model personified by a once-in-an-eraHollywood party hosted by legendary actress and singer Diahann Carroll, andattended by the likes of Huey P. Newton, Barbara Lee, Berry Gordy, David Frost, FlipWilson, Goldie Hawn and others. In A More Perfect Party, MSNBC political analystJuanita Tolliver presents a path to people-centered politics through the lens of thissoiree, with surprising parallels to our current electoral reality.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Mental Health Books (for adults)Page 48

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March brings a period of increased communication for many. You may find yourself talking toa lot of people, waiting to hear back from someone, or engaging in important conversationswith a partner. This could also manifest through sending and receiving emails, particularlyregarding finances and career. Some may be awaiting a response from a potential employer,while others may be contemplating whether to stay in their current job or explore a newfield.For those who are single, self-reflection is especially important this month. Spending timealone or with close family members can provide clarity and emotional support. There may besomeone from your past who is struggling to let go of a connection with you. While they mayhave moved on in some ways, they are realizing that you were the better choice. Regardless,life is moving forward, and good news could be on the horizon.The cards I pulled for this reading included Phoenix Rising and The Mask Coming Off. Theseindicate that you may have been through significant challenges recently or will face them inMarch. However, these experiences are shaping you into a stronger, more authentic version ofyourself. If you’ve been shy, timid, or hesitant to be your true self, now is the time to stepforward confidently and show the world who you truly are.This month, many people will be revealing their true feelings, intentions, and colors. Don’t besurprised if some individuals enter or exit your life—it’s all part of the process. Be mindful ofdeception, as not everyone around you may have good intentions. On a positive note, an abundance of money is coming your way. Maintaining a positive mindsetand practicing gratitude for what you have will help attract even more blessings. I hope this reading provides guidance and reassurance for the month ahead.About JoyAbout JoyJoy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it herlife's work to help others throughlife coaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coachingservices from Joy and/or getyour own personal reading,please scan the barcode belowwith your smartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page 44Page 49