Authentic Insider Magazine May Issue : simplebooklet.com

Why is Gen Z so obsessed with Self-Care? For one, Gen Zrecognizes the importance of a balanced lifestyle. Self-carehas been around long before Gen Z made it apparent.Many argue the pandemic and rise of hate crimes playedan influential role in prioritizing health. Over quarantine,many, especially Gen Z started sharing their tips abouttheir self-care routines like, “Self-Care Routine for stressand relaxing.” Gen Z is also very in touch with their mental health. Notonly do they acknowledge mental illness, but they seekhelp to better themselves. Since Gen Z is more likely tohave stress and anxiety, achieving self-care and self-love ismore important than ever. In fact, 72% of Gen Zers saymanaging stress and mental health is their most importanthealth and wellness concern. Gen Zers are also very conscious of what they areconsuming. According to the Nielsen Global Health andWellness survey, Gen Z is more likely to pay for expensivehealth products such as GMO-free food or dairy-freeproducts. They have contributed widely to the popularityof going vegan, vegetarian, keto, and more. Maintaining ahealthy and fit lifestyle remains a top concern among thisgeneration. It has been pivotal in a new market of healthproducts. Without a doubt, mental wellness, including self-care hasbeen the latest dominant sociocultural obsession. Theinfluence of Gen Z, has sparked the rise of self-care whichis defined differently for everyone. For some, it meansbinge-watching their favorite Netflix show and for others,An Insider Scoop on Self-Care it means having a spa day full of deep tissue massages. Self-care refers to the practice of taking action to preserveor improve health. It can play a role in protecting one’sown well-being and happiness. Increasing self-care andself-love can reduce stress and anxiety. There’s a commonmisconception that self-care is selfish, but the reality isthat if you cannot take care of yourself, how can you takecare of anyone else. It's the whole concept of putting youroxygen mask on first and then helping others shouldsomething problematic happen on a plane. If you pass outfrom low oxygen while helping others, no one benefits.Self-care can cover cosmetics, skincare, fitness, socialhabits, leisure, etc. The good thing is that it can be cateredto your liking and interest. The question to ask yourself is,what makes you feel relaxed and is good for your soul?Try mixing self-care into your daily routine to help buildresilience toward stressors. Self-care is a lot simpler thanhow it’s advertised, but do it, and it will change your life.In honor of mental health month, I sat down over Zoomwith Gen Zer Aviana Poole, 20, to discuss the popularity ofself-care within Gen Z. Aviana is an energetic fourth-yearcollege student from the University of Florida who studiesbusiness administration. When she is not studying, she isprobably smiling or laughing. That is most likely becauseof her optimistic outlook on life and prioritizing self-lovein stressful moments.by Maggie DungeyAuthentic Insider | Page 09

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Why do you think self-care rose to popularity?I think it grew in recent popularity because of whathas been happening in the news. Seeing all theseincidents of police brutality and hate crimesoccurring, took an impactful toll on my mentalhealth. So as a coping mechanism, I have beenpracticing self-care to increase positivity every day.The pandemic has also been a key player in the riseof self-care practices. Because we both work and restin the same place now, we have increasedexhaustion. There is no exact place where we canrecognize when to stop working as we did before. Why do you think Gen Z, ourgeneration, is invested in self-care?Seeing how we are raised and wanting to betterourselves increases our desire to take better care ofourselves. Whether that is the struggles we wentthrough or seeing our parents sacrifice so much forus, Gen Z wants to be better. And better is taking thetime to reflect and take better care of ourselves. Also,social media enforces the obsession of self-care withtons of accounts focused on promoting tips andinformation to better ourselves. Ultimately, we seethe benefits and want to share with friends andfamily to increase mental wellness on socialplatforms. I don’t wantto go back tomy old ways. How do you maintain a healthyself-care/work balance?I maintain by being organized and finding aroutine that works for me. I always make sure toprioritize self-care no matter how busy I am.I will always find a free block. During thattime, I will not do work or I will spend timewith loved ones. I make sure to do one thingthat I enjoy every day. After 12am, I go tosleep to have the energy for tomorrow.Seeing the positive results of practicing self-care motivates me to continue. I enjoysharing my self-care journey with family andfriends and listening to theirs as well. I likeexchanging tips and integrating new tipsdaily. I especially feel motivated to maintaina healthy balance because my younger sistersees me as a role model. I want to show herthat it is possible to excel at work and live ahealthy lifestyle.Advice you would give to youryounger self about self-love?Try not to always seek the approval of others.Doing that can drain your energy then there'sno energy for yourself. Love yourself as youlove others. All that love you give to others,give it to yourself first.Authentic Insider | Page 10

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Top 3 self-care tips toachieve mental wellness?Day in the Life of Aviana'sSelf-Care DayBe Self AwareBe GratefulBe OptimisticIf you don’t truly know yourself, youcan’t change bad habits. Be mindful ofwhat you say and the media youconsume. Every day when you wake up, writedown what you are grateful for. Forexample, “I am so thankful I can attendcollege. “I am healthy.” This will createpositivity energy. When things don’t go your way likefailing a test, instead of dwelling, takeit as a learning experience. Seeingeverything as a lesson will createmindfulness. Ask yourself, How can Ido better next time? Morning I usually wake up feeling refreshed andimmediately open up windows. Naturallight always gives me tons of energy. I thenhead to the kitchen to cook a yummymeal. Most likely it's pancakes, fruit, andturkey bacon. Afterward, I head to mybalcony to spend some time with myplants and to get fresh air. I usually bring amotivational book with me and drink mycoffee. This is the time I like to embracenature and listen to the sound of the windand trees. AfternoonAfter chilling in the morning, I usually goto the gym. I love to drink smoothies afterto feel refreshed. I also try to do somethingI enjoy like painting to express myself.Even though I may not be the best at it, Ienjoy it, and it makes me happy. Whilepainting, I usually listen to jazz to relax. Evening The evening is where I journal thoughts offuture plans, and what I am grateful for. Ienjoy cooking, so I usually cook a new dishand share it with others. Right before bed, Ilike to use my peppermint essential oils. Authentic Insider | Page 11

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Lastly, do you think thatdedicating self-care timeimproves your overall mentalhealth?Definitely yes, I am happier and energized when I focus onself-care. Without it, I do not feel like myself. It is soimportant because bad things happen, but we can’t focuson that. Practicing self-care is fairly simple and helps builda positive mindset. Everyone’s self-care looks different.Some like relaxing and some want to go out. Either is self-care. It's prioritizing doing what you love to do. It's apractice that improves health and life in general. Overall,self-care is a journey. Life changes, and we adjust to whatmakes us happy"I have a love bag that's filled withself-care activities." Every few days Ipull one out and this is where I getto focus on myself."Aviana Poole20, StudentAuthentic Insider | Page 12It's prioritizingdoing what youlove to do. It's apractice thatimproves healthand life in general.

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In August 2020, Secretary of Education BetsyDeVos, under the Trump Administration maderadical and sweeping changes to the rules thatgovern Title IX, specifically targeting sexualharassment and sexual assault investigations. TitleIX is a federal civil rights law that prohibits sex-based discrimination in any school or othereducation program that receives federal money.These rule changes moved sexual harassment andsexual assault investigations into uncharteredterritory, almost mirroring a criminal prosecution.While these changes marked uncharted territoryfor colleges and universities, for sexual assaultprosecutors, this territory is our stomping groundsThese changes were drastic and unpopular withschools and students. They were designedspecifically to reduce the number of Title IXcomplaints that would be filed. Although the BidenAdministration has begun the process of undoingthese rule changes, it will not be a quick process.For the time being, schools and universities are leftto both understand and implement these rules.The changes to Title IX can be difficult tounderstand so we want to lay out what we see asthe two major changes that cause the most harm tostudents, while acknowledging that there areseveral other rule changes. . The first change centers on how sexualharassment/assault reports are to be considered byschool administrations from the very start. Underthe new guidelines, a complaint can’t be filedunless the action is “so severe, pervasive andobjectively offensive that it denies a person equaleducation access in the school’s programs oractivities” as opposed to actions that are“sufficiently serious that it interferes or limits astudent’s ability to participate in or benefit fromthe school’s program.” By creating this new higherstandard, it drastically reduces the number of TitleIX complaints that can be filed, and almost impliesa course of conduct requirement. When it comesto the initial filing of the complaint, theDepartment of Education (Department) alsoremoved the presumption that a sexualharassment/assault occurred when a student makesa report and instead directs school administratorsto presume that a sexual harassment/assault didnot occur, a civil presumption of innocence. The Second, and more important change for TitleIX, in our opinion, considering the re-traumatization of sexual assault survivors, is therule change that allows for in-person cross-examination of victims by the perpetrator’sdesignee. This designee can be a friend, parent,attorney, or anyone the perpetrator chooses. "We know now, based on the release ofemails from the Department (of Education)from a public information request, thereduction in Title IX complaints, was theentire goal of these rule changes."Authentic Insider | Page 15

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sexual assaults are reported to law enforcementand when considering college-age female students,the numbers drop even more to only 20%. A realconcern is that the recent changes to Title IX willdrastically reduce the number of sexualharassment/assault complaints made to schools,creating an unsafe learning environment andendangering students. We know now, based on therelease of emails from the Department from apublic information request, the reduction in TitleIX complaints, was the entire goal of these rulechanges. While we wait for changes to these rules,school administrations should be trained andshould follow the trauma-informed road map ofsexual assault prosecutors.Trauma-informed prosecutions acknowledge thattrauma affects the person who has experienced itand can have an impact on memory and the waywe react after enduring a traumatic event. Theseprosecutions acknowledge the trauma, support thevictim through the process and providemeaningful access to justice. Imagine a victim being subject to crossexamination by a mutual friend, or an enragedmother. These two changes have an enormous effect onhow Title IX offices conduct investigations intosexual harassment/assault complaints and couldpossibly have a chilling effect on reporting. As sexprosecutors, we know first-hand the difficultiesfaced in sexual assault cases. At the criminal level,every criminal defendant is presumed innocent ofthe charges and has the right to face their accusers,which are two of the most important andfundamental rights guaranteed by the U.S.Constitution. But as we have learned, theseimportant rights can and sometimes do have anegative impact on the mental well-being of ourvictims. Sexual assault is the most under-reported violentcrime in our country. According to the statisticspublished by the Rape, Abuse and Incest NationalNetwork (RAINN.Org) on average only 23% of"While we wait forchanges to theserules, schooladministrationsshould be trained andshould follow thetrauma-informed roadmap of sexual assaultprosecutors."Authentic Insider | Page 16

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The first step in trauma-informed prosecution is toacknowledge the trauma caused by thevictimization. This step can easily be characterizedby the recent movement to “Believe Women,” bybroadening it further to “Believe Survivors.” Apowerful tool to let the survivor know that theywill be listened to, their claims will be takenseriously and thoroughly investigated, and thesurvivor will be given a forum to speak their truth.It creates a safe place for victims to explain whathappened to them and not be met with doubt,equivocation or excuses for the unwanted behaviorthe survivor is reporting. Providing survivors withaccess to trauma-informed investigators andadvocates to whom they may report sexualharassment/assault will play a huge role in asuccessfully run program. This is true for whetherit is a case where the college or university seeks totake disciplinary action or cases where theevidence isn’t sufficient for disciplinary action.Ultimately, survivors want to be heard. Asprosecutors, we have had countless difficultconversations about not being able to proceedcriminally due to the sufficiency of the evidence,all the while reinforcing the notion of thesurvivor’s truth. Starting with belief does notnegate the need for a thorough fact-findinginvestigation and taking actions in line with theresults of that investigation, rather it ensures thatthe survivor is treated with dignity, honesty andrespect throughout the process.Second, colleges and universities must providewide-spread access to resources throughout theadministrative process. This includes counseling,housing alternatives, class changes and otherresources available on campus. A big part ofsuccessful prosecutions involves the survivor knowing that a prosecutor is invested in their healthand well-being and not just the outcome of thecase. At times, we have stopped a prosecutionbecause we believed it was not in the best interestof the survivor’s mental health. Finally, survivor satisfaction and continued opencommunication on campus relies on providing thesurvivor with access and a clear understanding ofthe process. The first meeting we have with victimsis to introduce ourselves and provide an outline ofthe criminal justice process, from start to finish,leaving no ugly detail spared, including talks aboutcross-examination. We typically don’t discuss thedetails of the actual sexual assault until we preparefor trial. By having an honest conversation aboutthe process, it allows the survivor to make a choiceand have the power to decide with how they wantto proceed and know they have allies in their fight.We have found that building trust from the verybeginning allows the survivor to heal, even in theface of fierce cross examination or disappointmentat the outcome of the case. Sexual assault prosecutions are some of the mostchallenging cases you can try as a prosecutor. Youface many obstacles including victim blaming andlack of witnesses. However, when done properlyand utilizing the trauma informed methods ofsexual assault prosecutions, Title IX investigationscan comply with the new rules, while continuing toprovide victims with justice. Authentic Insider | Page 17

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have strong opinions about the talk. Mostlythat it shouldn’t be A talk - after which you exhaleand move on with life thrilled that moment isbehind you. It should be a conversation that beginswhen your child is an infant. The reality is that kidsneed to learn about their bodies – they needto know about boundaries, what parts are private,and what the names of those parts are. Theyneed to learn about sex - where babies come from,how exactly that happens, and that sex issupposed to be a positive part of life. Why you ask?For one thing, it increases the likelihood thatyour child will identify unwanted touch and be ableto verbalize it. It also reduces shame andinsecurity around sexuality and creates a foundationfor future healthy relationships. And parents, despite your personal feelings andexperiences, fears, religious beliefs, or whateverit is that makes you uncomfortable, your children arein fact going to learn about their bodies and sex. Youas a parent have a choice – teach them yourself andcreate a safe and comfortable space for your child tocome to you with questions. Or, let them figure it outsome other way. These conversations areopportunities to reinforce that when your child has aquestion or concern – nothing is off limits or tooembarrassing to bring to you. If you ignore,minimize, or dismiss what a child comes to you with,you send a message that you are not a goodresource. That kind of reaction ultimately has yourchild searching for answers elsewhere. Here aresome suggestions on how to broach the subject:Making the"Talk" an on-goingConversationBy Melissa Kilbride, LICSWIAuthentic Insider | Page 19

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1) Start Early:Naming and identifying body parts should begin ininfancy. We start telling kids where theireyes, ears, and noses are in the first year of life.There’s no reason to avoid telling them abouttheir penis and vagina either. It gives young kids theproper language to ask questions and talkopenly about thoughts and experiences that theymay not fully understand. And while you’re at itnaming parts, don’t forget to mention which onesare private. Starting these discussions at ayoung age helps to reduce shame – which isimperative for healthy sexual development. And itincreases the likelihood that children can identifyand report unwanted touch. As DeborahRoffman, author of Talk To Me First, Sex &Sensibility says, too little too late is more of aconcern than too much too soon.2) Give the facts and tell the truth:Sometimes we inadvertently attach shame orembarrassment to the things that our children areasking of us by laughing, ignoring them, ordownplaying the relevance of the question. Why notprovide matter-of-fact, honest, age-appropriateanswers? Often it’s not that parents don’t want theirchildren to have the information, but they don’tknow how to relay it. If your child asks you why thesky is blue, you don’t freeze up and choke on yourwords, you just find a developmentally appropriateway to explain it. Body and sex talk should not beany different. The answer to the question where dobabies come from is basic for a 3-year-old. At thatage they are not asking about sex, because theyhave no context for sex. Short, simple, and factualanswers are best. For example, “babies come from aplace in a woman’s body called a womb.” Let thechild guide the conversation and with each followup question consider what is the factual, scientificanswer? When you feel uncomfortable answeringyour child’s questions, ask yourself why. Whatmeaning have you attached to the words orbehaviors? Often our own anxieties lead us to avoidcertain topics, perpetuating the cycle ofembarrassment. As Jennifer Wiessner, certified sextherapist and presenter of the Raising SexuallyHealthy Children workshops says “Children aren’tborn with shame, they learn it from adults.”"Often our own anxietieslead us to avoid certaintopics, perpetuating thecycle of embarrassment." Authentic Insider | Page 20

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3) Make it an ongoing conversationWhen body and sex questions come up, it’s an opportunityto let your child know that they can come to you withanything. Each time you answer a child’s question you aresetting and maintaining the groundwork for an openrelationship and sending a clear message that you are asafe source. Instead of that outdated idea of “the talk,”wrap your head around the idea of a conversation; An on-going, always-evolving conversation that shifts over timeto be developmentally appropriate and child-specific. Iknow you’re thinking one time is not enough? I can’thandle this! Stay with me - there are multiple reasons theconversations need to be on-going. Making it more than a one-time deal, can take some ofthe pressure off. Sometimes the questions our kidsthrow at us catch us off guard. It’s okay to let themknow you have to think about it and you’ll get back tothem – but you do have to get back to them. I’ve heardparents say that they don’t want to have these types ofconversations with their children because it will givethem ideas. Children already have ideas because theyare naturally curious little humans, constantly seekinginformation about the world. For the sake of theirsafety, confidence, and clarity I think we should chooseto shape the ideas they already have with evidence-based information and support. There are obviously changes towhat facts children need, want, oreven understand as they growolder. They become more aware oftheir own sexual development andsexual interests as they go throughpuberty and their curiosities willchange accordingly. Additionally,the risks shift overtime. For ayoung child we have to provide education around safe touch andhealthy boundaries. Older childrenneed to become aware of the risksof pregnancy, STD’s and consent.Melissa L. Kilbride is a Clinical Social Worker in PrivatePractice in Washington DC. She believes passionately inthe importance of early sexual health education as anissue of safety and as a path to later healthy relationships,and she leads parent workshops on these topics. Melissa isalso the co-author of a new book called Working withWorry: A workbook for parents on how to support anxiouschildren. You can reach Melissa through her website atwww.mlktherapy.comAuthentic Insider | Page 21

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NO MATTER HOWMUCH IT HURTS; YOUKEEP ON GOING. NOMATTER WHAT THEODDS, YOU KEEPPUSHING AHEAD. But the secret bothered me and whenI got a little older I told my Grammy.She said, “shush, don’t talk about thatever again.” So of course, I didn’t.Back then kids did as they were told.Several years later, I discoveredsports and school activities that keptme busy and out of that house ofhorrors for as long as possible. I meta lot of classmates due to all of myextra-curricular activities but I couldn’tmaintain any long-term friendships.At about age 12, I started spending alot of time with my aunt Judi, mymother’s older sister. She took meunder her wing and showed me whata normal, loving family was like. Withmy aunt’s help, I learned about life,love and family. She taught meeverything I needed to know. Withoutknowing it, and because of her, I amthe person I am today. I owe hereverything. At age 28, I finally told her about myabusive past. She had no idea. Wewere both afraid and intimidated bymy abuser, so we kept quiet about it.But it felt so much better to share thatpart of my life with her. She offeredme all the support I needed. When I met my future husbandGary, I had more support than Ieven thought was possible.After I divulged the abuse toGary, we talked aboutcounseling and it took me yearsof looking to finally find a greatcounselor. It wasn’t easyreliving my past, but I knew Ihad to do it if I wanted to starthealing.Once I felt comfortable talkingabout my past, I started tellingmy coworkers, neighbors, andfriends. And you know what? Istarted to hear about theirstories of abuse, and it didn’ttake me long to realize this dirtylittle secret was widespread.When my sweet aunt Judipassed away at age 54, I tookmatters into my own hands. Iwent public with whathappened and volunteered totell my story- hoping it wouldhelp other people get a betterunderstanding about sexualabuse. As time went on, ithelped me as well. I was ableto help other survivors come to Authentic Insider | Page 24

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terms with what happened to them.Eventually, I became a powerful voice in a huge statewidecoalition campaign to get both the criminal and civil statuteof limitations extended for child sex abuse crimes inMassachusetts. On June 26, 2014, the day the civil bill wassigned into law, I was finally able to file suit against myabuser in Federal Court in Springfield, Massachusetts. I wonthe case against my abuser on all 5 counts. Going throughthe 4 day jury trial was not an easy road by any means. Meanwhile, my husband and I were writing a book about mylife, which was huge because it allowed me to reach a muchwider audience. The book has won 3 awards and now myhusband is busy writing a screenplay. We’re hoping itbecomes a movie.In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would achieve allthat I did in my life so far. I was such a scared, quiet, shy, kidand even as a young adult, I am much the same.Gratefully, I’ve met many amazing people in my life. I had myaunt Judi who stood by me even after finding out what hadhappened to me. I have my husband Gary who stood by methrough everything. These two wonderful andcompassionate people gave me the love and support Ineeded to grow and find myself and my purpose in life. One of the most important things I’ve learned in my life is tonever quit. No matter how much it hurts; you keep on going.No matter what the odds, you keep pushing ahead. Don’t let anyone tell you how you're supposed to act or whatyou should do. Be your own self. Be bold. Surround yourselfwith good people. I am proof that good people can win and that speaking outand fighting for what you truly believe in can help make thisworld a better place to live.At the beginning of this article I said to you, I would never bewhole. I’m not. But I am complete. And you can too. Getinvolved and NEVER GIVE UP!Kathy Picard is an Award-winning Advocate/Author whosework centers on increasing awareness of the harsh realities ofsexual abuse. Her 20 years of advocacy work includes theCriminal/Civil Statute of Limitations for sexual abuseeliminated. She has presented to Colleges, Universities,Hospitals, the Department of Mental Health, CorrectionalFacilities both Staff and Female/Male Inmates including sexoffenders, Police Academy to the cadets to become Policeofficers to name a few. Kathy’s been recognized for her effortsand received many awards and citations. Her latest responseis from President Joseph Biden by letter. She is expecting herChildren’s Book to be released in a few months. Kathy Picard’s book is on Amazon, Life with My Idiot Family ATrue Story of Survival, Courage, and Justice over ChildhoodSexual Abuse written by Kathy and Gary Picard, available inBook, Kindle, and Audible. Kindly do an Amazon Review tosupport her cause. Kathy can be reached at Kathychildadvocate@gmail.comAuthentic Insider | Page 25

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NOTHING HAS EVERBEEN EASY FOR ME,DESPITE HOW PEOPLESAY IT LOOKS FROMTHE OUTSIDE.Over the last few years, lifehas taught me that youhonestly have no idea whenor if your life could changetomorrow - for good or bad.So I’ve tried to embrace thepresent as much as possible. But it wasn’t always this way.I’ve battled the negativevoices in my head for as longas I can remember. I startedto go to therapy when I wasabout 14. I went to my doctorbecause I was having troubletaking a true, real, deepbreath. Little did I understandthat it was anxiety. It stillhappens sometimes. Shereferred me to my firsttherapist and fitness becamemy outlet. My first year of college waschallenging. It was 2001, theyear of 9/11 and thePentagon attack. I was in DCand also from NYC. AlthoughI recognize so many amazingexperiences as a freshman, Itwas also difficult. The night before a big finalpaper was due, at the end of my freshman year, I foundmyself sitting on the ledge ofa roof on campus, wonderingif life would be better withoutme in it. But I shut out thevoices and reminded myself;I had loved ones who wouldbe shattered if I had taken mylife. I failed that class. Nothinghas EVER been easy for me,despite how people say itlooks from the outside. About four years ago (feelslike yesterday), my lifeshattered to pieces when Iwas blindsided by divorce atthe age of 33. I lost threepregnancies. Years ofcheating and lies slowlyunfolded. I was “diagnosed”with adjustment disorder withanxiety and depressed mood,for insurance purposes. Before the divorce, Istruggled with my self-worth,but afterward, it was non-existent, and I found myselfwith a full-fledged eatingdisorder. It’s one of thehardest things I’ve ever hadto confess. Authentic Insider | Page 33

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But something in me just toldme to keep going this time.With the help of a newtherapist and fitness - mylongtime savior- I kept going. Just recently, I haven’t feltlike myself. It’s so easy to getlost in my head. Life presents us with thesechallenges for a reason. Iknow it’s not always apparentright away, but it will be.You’re not alone, even if youfeel like it. I still feel like it. But then I remember not onlydo I have great friends, but Ialso have myself. And that’sthe most reliable andtrustworthy friend of all. Still,lean on others and just keepgoing. Yeah, I know that its said alot! But it saved me, and it stilldoes. So I’ll say it again andagain if it can save anotherperson. Keep going. Trustyourself."But then I remembernot only do I havegreat friends, but I alsohave myself. Andthat’s the most reliableand trustworthy friendof all."Authentic Insider | Page 34

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Every survivor deserves tobe treated and supportedwith trauma-informedcommunication & care. Itis up to us to educateourselves.What about inflicting secondary trauma? How do you know if you are doing damage,unintentionally? Are you 'trauma-informed'?Every survivor deserves to be treated andsupported with trauma-informed communication &care. It is up to us to educate ourselves. Which get's me to why I am here...·How do you help a sexual assault & rape survivor? I am a survivor of sexual assault & rape and I am here to share from my mostly brutal first-handexperience.Not getting the right kind of support makes all thedifference in how much or deeply you heal and recover-to get through the process to eventually move fromsurvivor to THRIVER. I found that most people don't have a clue. Let's face it.This is such a difficult subject, even more so to do it in ahealing and supportive way. How do you know whichwords & actions one uses to put a soothing balm on theemotional wounds of the soul and psyche of a survivor?As a survivor of a single sexual assault & rape, I receiveda relentless amount of retraumatization.Creating Safe Spacesfor Survivors Written by Marcella Smit, Author of How to best help a sexual assault & rape survivorAuthentic Insider | Page 36

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It gives the explanation behind it - why the do'sare so helpful. Followed by what NOT to do. With a clear explanation as to why the don'tsare so hurtful. I knew there was a better way. I kept wishingpeople would get it. But looking back, in allfairness, how can you expect people to know ifthey have never been taught? If they neverlearned? I wished that all of the people I hadencountered had the knowledge to say & do therights things. I searched for answers. I couldn't finda book that addressed this difficult subject in aneasily digestible format. So, you know what theysay, if you can't find it, if it doesn't exist, create it.Build it. So, I did my research & educated myself. I wrotethe book I wished others would have had accessto in order to help me without hurting me further."How to best help a sexual assault & rape survivor:with 10 easy steps to guide you" is written to helpanyone (layperson or professional) to be aneffective, and positive caring support to a sexualassault & rape survivor. The content will speak toanyone who wants help to help, is lost, anddoesn't know where to start. The advice is easy tounderstand and apply. None of it is rocket science, nor does it require a PhD in psychology. A unique format touches on 10 of the mostcommon, prevalent topics or situations (plus abonus section). Not only does it spell out what toDO for each topic, but it takes it 3 steps further:This setup has a deeper impact. It helps to anchorand encourage positive support, both in deeds &language.While writing the book, I came to realize that thecontent not only serves as a guide for those who aresupporting a survivor, but any survivor and even aTHRIVER. For most of us, the chatter in our ownminds has put enough doubt, blame & shame on'how did we let this happen?' Getting confirmationthat it was never our fault, from an outside source ishealing. Actually hearing or reading/seeing theacknowledgments in print of how they felt and/orreacted to hurtful exposure from the social circlearound them, is a level of healing in itself.I invite and encourage you to let this guide - mylabor of love to help others - be the source inhelping your friend/loved one. My intentions are forthis guide to foster the right support, to stop anyfurther trauma from being inflicted, or at least, easethe burden of what has already has been placedupon the shoulders of a survivor. For those of youseeking to support a survivor, it offersencouragement and empowerment to do and saythe right things. It also acknowledges that youdeserve support as well. One will learn about the(seemingly small) things that will make a BIGdifference in the recovery and the aftermath of asexual assault & rape survivor. When it comes toretraumatization, avoiding it as much as possible willbenefit everyone involved. I had to protect myself from the unending barrage ofcompletely useless, ill-advice, and deeply damagingdevastating judgmental comments.Authentic Insider | Page 37

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As I mentioned before, none of it is rocket science.However, it is powerful valuable insight on how tocommunicate compassionately and effectively witha sexual assault & rape survivor. Intended to be abasic go-to handbook that will give you some of themost helpful, clearly explained ways and tools to quickly apply. Know and believe that you can beinstrumental in that person's healing process. Letthis book help you to be a guiding light. A solid rockthat proves to be the cornerstone to healing and aneasier recovery process. My objective and hope is that the content willprovide you with the shortest education possible onthe subject while having the biggest impact. Thereis such a need for trauma-informed communication& care, not just for the 'lay-person,' but also forprofessionals. For instance, some of my mosttraumatizing experiences were at the hand of thedetective who was assigned to my case as well as adentist who knew I had massive PTSD.Over time my life eventually unraveled. I had verylittle or no access to the help that I needed. I wouldask and plead for people to stop offering their'help,' telling them how badly they were hurting me.In order to survive, when they kept going, I severedties. One after another. I had to protect myself fromthe unending barrage of completely useless, ill-advice, and deeply damaging, devastating andjudgmental comments. Relationships ended withfriends and clients, resulting in more isolation untilit was just me against the rest of the world. I was nolonger able to earn what was needed to continue tosupport myself, which led to even bigger struggles:Homelessness and surviving two suicide attempts. Because I wasn't so lucky and certainly not alone inthis; not the first and certainly not the last one to gothrough this, I recognized there was a HUGE needYou, the precious loved one & supporter of asurvivor Those of us who are survivors, aspiring orjourneying back to THRIVING!for this information to be readily available. So, thereyou have it. Even though it has taken me years toget to this point, I can proudly say:' I did it'. May Isuggest ordering one copy for yourself and one tohand to the person closest to you in your supportsystem (or vice versa)?I am here to be of service to you and do my part tohelp heal our world. With much Aloha, Love &Support to All of You:Authentic Insider | Page 38

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This feel-good playlist will take you to simplertimes of just you and some good music.Whether you are relaxing after a long day orsitting out by the pool, you are sure to feeluplifted with our hand-picked songs from ourstaff. This mix of classics and new songs willsure have you vibing for hours.Sometimes all we need is a confidence boost ora dance session break to reset and tackle thedays ahead. Start your morning off strong and to the rightbeat with our feel-good playlist. Wake up andcelebrate yourself. What is your favorite song? Authentic Insider | Page 46 The Sweet Escape (feat. Akon)Gwen StefaniAll the StarsKendrick Lamar, SZAEmpire State of Mind (feat. Alicia Keys)JAY-ZKings and Queens Ava MaxIsland in the SunWeezerTruth Hurts LizzoPut Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae Dancing Queen AABAGoldenHarry StylesRiptideVance JoyHey YeahOutkastUnwrittenNatasha Bedingfield3 NightsDominic FikeUpbeat Songs to Lift Any Mood

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Mental Health Awareness Month Books (Children)We all have big feelings and for many of us, especially young children, it's hard to know what to do withthem or even how to identify them. Below are books recommended by parents and therapists to helpchildren better recognize and manage feelings and peer pressure. When four friends encounter a cranky bear, theydecide they must cheer him up. Moose, Lion andZebra's outrageous ideas all backfire, which leavesit up to poor, plain Sheep to deal with this beast,who just wants a quiet place to sleep. Whateverwill she do? This rhyming story with hilariousillustrations is guaranteed to entertain its readersand its listeners!This children’s book is about peer pressure, whereall the other animals want the main character todo things that are harmless, but that the maincharacter simply doesn’t want to do. It’s aboutstaying true to who you are and doing what youthink is right.The Princess and the Fog is a picture book to helpsufferers of depression aged 5-7 cope with theirdifficult feelings. It uses vibrant illustrations, asense of humour and metaphor to create arelatable, enjoyable story that describes thesymptoms of childhood depression while alsoproviding hope that things can get better with alittle help and support. The story is also a greatstarting point for explaining depression to allchildren, especially those who may have a parentor close family member with depression.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 47

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Mental Health & Emotional Support Books(Adult)Few betrayals run as deep as the betrayal of being sexually abused throughoutyour childhood by the man you should have been able to trust with your life. ForKathy, the betrayal ran deeper because when she finally found the courage to startspeaking out about what her abuser did to her. Her family responded by labelingher a liar and a troublemaker. Kathy didn’t stop speaking out though. Kathy isinspirational proof that good people can win, and that speaking out and fighting forwhat you truly believe in can help make this world a better place to live.This book is written to help anyone (layperson & professional) to be aneffective, positive, and caring support to a sexual assault & rape victim. Thecontent will speak to anyone who wants help, is lost, and doesn't even knowwhere to start. You will find the answers to stop stumbling and scrambling forthe right words or the right thing to say or do. It's easy to understand andapply expert advice. As in any life, there are moments of brightness, but these are few and farbetween. Nonetheless, Through the Storm of Early Trauma is not told from aplace of anger or resentment. Instead, it speaks with the voice of hope--thatothers who have lived such stories, and who are living those stories today, willfind their own inner strength to seek the help they need and deserve.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 48

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Monthly Collective Readings for All Signswith Joy Larkin (May 1 - May 31, 2021) About JoyJoy is a Narcissistic Abuse Survivorwho has made it her life's work tohelp others through life coaching. Sheis also a healer, earth angel andpsychic medium. If you would likecoaching services from Joy and/or getyour own personal reading, pleasescan the barcode below with yoursmartphone camera.Personal ReadingsCoaching InfoAuthentic Insider | Page 49For May, some of you are gaining enlightenment in your life over a difficult situation. Therecould have been something or someone who was in your life that was causing you a lot ofstress, worry, and drama. There were a lot of lies, deception, and trickery that was going on.This drama could have involved work, co-workers, managers, or a boss who could have triedto work against you. You recognized it, and you’re moving on to a better career opportunity.This next job or career could be something you actually enjoy doing and have a passion foras well. You are deciding to let go and take a leap of faith to move on with your life. I am feeling the energy that you all are learning from the mistakes of the past. You’regrowing, expanding, and evolving as a person, and you will begin to have faith in yourself.You are on the path to self-discovery. I see unexpected income for those who are trying tomanifest specific things in their life. If you believe, you will receive it. Keep the faith. You areclose to achieving your goal. You will be gaining a lot of support for any endeavors you areseeking. If you haven't started working on those goals and dreams, now is the time to takeaction. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It’s time to show the world the realyou! Others could have been around someone who was trying to steal from you. And this was avery toxic, harmful, and hostile situation. This person was not good for you. Take it as ablessing in disguise that they are no longer in your life. Ensure you are always doing yourinner work and doing things that will make you a better version of yourself. Don’t be afraidto reach out for support and guidance, especially if you feel alone. There is always someoneout there who has been through a similar situation and has overcome it. For the collective, most want to experience significant life changes. To be a better person,you want to go down a different path that will bring you a lot of healing and personalhappiness. Transformation is happening now or has already begun. Whatever situation youwent through has made you into the person you are today. For a handful of you, there weremajor sacrifices made to get to the next level in your life. It was hard for some others whomay still need to do this. This sacrifice could be a person, place, thing, your mentality, fears,worries, and doubt. In regards to love, singles are most definitely going to be meeting soulmates. This will be aspiritual union in the near future. But for now, you may just want to continue to focus onyour own life and make yourself a priority. Find hobbies and things you like to do that makeyou happy, which will attract someone on that same vibration who will be your match. Couples, you will continue to show love to your partner. Continue to get to know them andmake them feel love. You may have been with your person for a very long time so just makesure to spice things up every once in a while. Be each other's support and let them knowhow you feel every once in a while. The advice for May is to remember to give rather than receive. Some of you may want totake time to get some rest. If you can do some yoga, exercise, mediation, and deepbreathing, it will help a lot of you right now. If possible, book a retreat or just get away for awhile to do some self-reflection. Most of you are very close to achieving your goals.

Authentic Insider Magazine May Issue

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