APeeling in November

APeeling

Domestic

Abuse

Living

in Fear

Leading

in Crisis

Digital Magazine

November 2020

Publisher: MarketAPeel

Editor: Shanon Peel

Design: Shannon Peel

APeeling Magazine is published by

MarketAPeel

939 Homer Street Unit 411

Vancouver, BC V6B 2W6

778-839-0521

magazine may be reproduced into

any information retrieval systems

without the written permission of

MarketAPeel. The publishers are not

responsible in whole or part for any

errors or omissions in this publication.

All opinions and views are those of

the writers and not of the publisher.

ISSN: TBD

Photo by Blake Peel

live fearlessly

It does not mean without

. fear, it means, live Life

despite The fear

Photo by Blake Peel

Shannon’s

Thoughts

I just launched a new product, a

digital magazine called, Your Own

Magazine. A customizable digital

platform with ipbook features for

readers on computers and laptops.

For mobile device readers, a spe-

cial version to make readability and

interaction on the smaller screens

more enjoyable.

Whenever I publish a new

issue of APeeling or launch a new

product, I feel fear. Will it be re-

ceived well? Will others judge me

as not good enough? Is it going to

work or will I put in lots of effort for

nothing? It’s the unknown. I don’t

know what is going to happen and

I am putting work out there into the

digital world to be judged as worthy

or unworthy of attention and com-

pensation. As a solopreneur, it is all

on me and there is no one to sup-

port me if I fail. I’m it. Win or Lose.

Being on your own can be

scary. I know I was scared to start

out on my own. But I did it. I tried

and yes I am scared of what my

future holds. I’ve let fear hold me

back for too long. It is time to live

my dream and if I end up alone and

on the street, at least I gave it a go.

This issue is about fear. It

seems like a good topic considering

the uncertainty of the world around

us right now. I wanted to look at

what fear was and why it holds so

much sway in how we act and the

decisions we make.

It is also November, which

is domestic violence awareness

month in Canada. Many are living in

fear of an abuser, so this issue has

a secton dedicated to their plight.

The Apple Peels are

link buttons.

I made changes to help readers

nd the stories they want to read.

First Section

Each page is the start of an article so you can see if you

want to read more of it. At the bottom of each page is a

peel to click to go to the full article.

Second Section

This section is two pages listing the contributors and the

clients of MarketAPeel who are featured in this issue.

Click on the images to go to the appropriate pages.

Third Section

This is where the articles start and you can experience

the magazine one page at a time.

Click the Peel to go to section one

Click the Peel to go to section Two

Click the Peel to go to section Three

How to Navigate

APeeling

Our primal minds are all about

survival and when it feels uncom-

fortable, it spins out of control to

get us to act. It feels something is

wrong deep down in our gut and it

wants the feeling to go away, so it

cycles through problems, stressors,

and regrets trying to determine the

threat causing the feeling.

When we consciously ana-

lyze the situation. Break it down.

We discover the situation is not as

scary as we thought and nowhere

near as stressful because it is under

our control to act on a solution,

so why is our society lled with so

much fear?

A poll by the US National

Mental Health Association found

that 85% of Americans believe that

the USA will experience a terror-

ist attack in the near future and

Living in A Fear Filled World

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shannon Peel

John felt like he was always

ying off the handle with his

team at work. It seemed like

everyone was unhappy and no

one was good at their job. Af-

ter his team missed yet another

deadline, he brought them to-

gether to discuss the problem

and nd a solution.

He started the meeting

by saying, “Well, you all did it

again, missed the deadline and

now we all don’t get the bo-

nus.” He grabbed a report and

ipped the pages. “Stacy, do

you even know what you’re do-

ing? It looks like you slapped it

together last minute.” The rest

of the meeting continued the

same way with others taking

by Likky Lavji

Critize or Complain?

Click the Peel to continue reading

Leading in Crisis with Character

In my opinion, there is not

enough discussion about good

and bad examples of character

in the day-to-day operations

of our organizations. Even in

the best, most reputable orga-

nizations, I suspect that small

breaches occur each and every

day. And without more explicit

conversations at all levels by all

team members, I do not be-

lieve our organizations, in fact

our society, will be able to nav-

igate the complex challenges

facing us in the years ahead. It

is time to put leadership char-

acter at the top of our list of

priorities for individual and or-

ganizational development.

The good news is there has

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shakeel Bharmal

Bananas & Cucumbers

A New Future For Journalists

Are you planting bananas and

expecting to pick cucumbers?

Small business owners who are currently

not generating enough money and would

like to, fall into one of two categories

Journalist jobs are in free fall.

From 2008-2018, newsroom

jobs declined 25%.

The world of marketing is returning to

its roots. Storytelling. Mankind has al-

ways passed along important information

through the telling of stories. It’s how the

human brain works

Everyday Beauty

Did you ever consider being a

professional artist?

Meet Emilie Fantuz, a young Vancou-

ver artist and learn how she coura-

geously embraced her passion for art.

Just Sign it

A #ThatsLife Story

Brace for Impact

Are you making an

emotional decision?

Whether you stay married or

get a divorce is a big decision

which is fraught with emotion.

Finding support to help un-

derstand what you want is the

key to the answer.

A story of domestic abuse during

Covid-19. Shut behind doors in fear.

He crossed a line she never thought

he would and she had a decision to

make. Stay or go? When the world is

fearful, it can be magnied for those

who already live in a home of fear.

Marriage or Divorce?

In Canada November is Domestic

Violence Awareness Month

A section is dedicated to those who have survived and are go-

ing through domestic violence. With the second Covid wave,

some are at risk of increased violence from a loved one due to

increased stresses and fear. It is important to keep the lines of

communication open with those you suspect are suffering by

calling without shame, blame, or advice.

Brace for Impact: A Covid 19 Abuse Story

Why Do They Stay?

Psychological Abusers

Why I stayed: A survivor’s story

The Food Bank Line

Help improve the user experience by letting me know

which contents section layout you prefer.

Which layout do you prefer?

This Month’s Contributors

Shannon Peel Shakeel Bharmal

Emilie Fantuz Gil Gerretsen

Ash Lawrence Anthony Gruppo

Cameron Chell

Nina Thiara

MarketAPeel Clients

Become an APeeling Member

• Discounts on products,

• Access to Content Libraries

• Personal Branding Workshops and

• promotion in the APeeling Magazine

• Learn how to tell your story

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Chop and Chisel

Eat Real Meals All Your Meals AYM Kitchens

Meadow Hygiene

The city noise penetrates my

sleep and I wake, alone, feeling a fore-

boding, an unease, a fear deep in my

gut. Flashes of incomplete thoughts

play in front of my mind’s eye scaring

me. The feeling in my gut gets worse

as its knots tighten growing the fear.

Rent is Due

Tasks not done

On my own

Failures play out

It takes time for the cobwebs to

clear. For the generator to turn on and

kick start my conscious mind. As my

consciousness comes back online and

my eyes begin to focus, I stretch and

my tummy rumbles - I’m hungry

Our primal minds are all about

survival and when it feels uncomfort-

able, it spins out of control to get us to

act. It feels something is wrong deep

down in our gut and it wants the feel-

ing to go away, so it cycles through

problems, stressors, and regrets to try

to determine the threat causing the

feeling.

When we consciously analyze the

situation. Break it down. We discov-

er the situation is not as scary as we

thought and nowhere near as stressful

because it is under our control to act

on a solution, so why is our society

lled with so much fear?

A poll by the US National Men-

tal Health Association found that 85%

of Americans believe that the USA

will experience a terrorist attack in the

near future and 41% said they feel fear

(Widmeyer Research & Polling, 2004).

There are countless polls and stud-

ies proving we are living in a time of

heightened fear.

One of the reasons is our daily

dose of media consumption, whether

it is traditional media outlets or social

media. To increase viewership news

Living in a

World of Fear

By Shannon Peel

media makes stories sound as dramat-

ic, threatening and urgent as possible.

The result is 24/7 drama and danger,

“contributing to what George Gerbner

called ‘the mean world syndrome’—

the sense we have, based on a steady

supply of frightening and threatening

news, that the world is a riskier place

than it actually is.” (Gerbner & Gross,

1976). We carry our news in our hands

and talk about it on our screens. It is

everywhere and the media has proted

from a decrease in censorship and an

increase in news consumption.

The news used to only be report-

ed at 6:00PM, then the early news, the

morning news, and CNN brought 24-7

news into our homes with images of

war, crime, and dangers from around

the globe. Something happens in New

York, suddenly we think it could hap-

pen down the street from us. It’s a pos-

sibility but is it a probability?

Censorship used to ensured

kids did not see images on TV. Today,

everything is available to kids online

and on their TV screens.

Children no longer feel safe. Af-

ter Columbine, the number of school

shootings has increased and the safety

features put in place to ensure their

safety, makes the fear all too real for

them. In my day, we had re drills. To-

day, schools have lock-down drills in

case of a shooter in or near the school

and too many of them have experi-

Be present. Take a close look

at the world around you and ground

yourself into your reality. Focus on the

moment you are in and not in the fu-

ture or the past. The only time you can

control is the moment you have right

now. What is happening right now is

real, everything else is possibility or in

the past.

Act. Whatever you are scared of

do it. Stare it in the face and act. If you

are scared to go outside because you’ll

get Covid but you need groceries, then

mask up and go to the store. By doing

it you will remove the possibility with

reality and when it is real you can re-

duce the risk by protecting yourself and

control your response by being mindful

of what is happening.

We live in a world of perceived

fear. You can choose to live in the emo-

tion of fear or to take the steps to be-

come more mindful and rational about

what is really happening in your world.

Poll

Choose as many as apply

Submit Your Story

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John felt like he was al-

ways ying off the handle with

his team at work. It seemed like

everyone was unhappy and no

one was good at their job. Af-

ter his team missed yet another

deadline, he brought them to-

gether to discuss the problem

and nd a solution.

He started the meeting

by saying, “Well, you all did it

again, missed the deadline and

now we all don’t get the bo-

nus.” He grabbed a report and

ipped the pages. “Stacy, do

you even know what you’re do-

ing? It looks like you slapped it

together last minute.” The rest

of the meeting continued the

same way with others taking

Keynote Speaker | Facilitator | Consultant

APeeling Columnist

up the blame game to direct

John’s attention elsewhere.

He left the meeting drained

and confused. He knew the

team was made up of skilled

and experienced individu-

als who should be hitting the

team’s targets easily. Were they

the problem, or was he? When

he mentioned this problem to a

friend, he invited John to join a

Mastermind group to help him

nd a solution.

John told the Mastermind

group about the meeting and

how disappointed he was in ev-

eryone and the meeting’s lack

of solutions. The group listened

while he expressed his frustra-

tion, then they gave him con-

structive feedback. Brian asked

him, “John is everyone on your

team incompetent?” John as-

sured them they were all com-

petent and talented individuals.

They just were performing be-

low their potential.

Sarah went on to explain,

“If you criticize their work con-

stantly, you are setting the

tone of the group to be one of

criticism and blame. They will

not perform for fear of getting

yelled at by you.”

This made sense to John

and he wanted to make a

change. Sarah introduced him

to the complaint formula for

communication created by Dr.

John Gottman.

The Complaint Formula

Dr. John Gottman rened

the skill of effective complain-

ing down to a simple, three-

part formula. With a little prac-

tice and persistence, it will help

team members to talk to each

other without doing harm.

Express how you feel

Effective complaints are

best launched by stating how

you feel. A feeling may be an

emotion like anger or fear, or a

physical state like tiredness or

pain.

It moves away from blame

and personal attacks, which

accompany criticism, and often

begins with absolute phrases

like “you always” or “you nev-

er.”

Talk about a specic situation

After stating your feelings,

describe the situation or behav-

ior that caused that feeling.

This approach removes the

personal blame which results in

attaching negative attributes to

character, abilities, or talents.

You are saying the behaviour is

at issue, not the person.

It is along the lines of, hate the

behaviour not the child. Par-

ents who focus on the child’s

shortcoming through blame

Do you

criticize

other’s work?

and shame attack the child’s

worth. When they focus on the

behaviour, they empower the

child through learning and de-

velopment.

State a positive need

Finally, ask the person to

take positive action to resolve

the complaint.

Using this formula doesn’t

guarantee complaints will be

resolved. It does give teams

a tool they can use to express

their complaints without the

risk of their requests being

sidelined by a team member

who feels the need to defend

against criticism.

Let’s apply this formula to

an issue John raised, and Sta-

cey’s response to see how the

discussion could have ended

differently.

John: I feel frustrated

(here’s how I feel) when you do

not turn your work in on time

(about a very specic situation).

Can we walk and talk for a half

an hour to develop a solution

to this problem (expressing her

positive need)?

Stacey: I feel overwhelmed

(how I feel) by all the extra de-

mands the team asks of me

(about a very specic situation).

I need to know what to do and

when. (express a positive need).

Do you expect

perfection

from others?

John: I’m afraid (how I feel)

the project won’t get done on

time because we are waiting

for your report to be complet-

ed (about a very specic situ-

ation). I don’t want you to feel

overwhelmed or stressed. How

about you make a list of every-

thing you are being asked to

do and together we prioritize

the items to ensure everything

gets done on time (express a

positive need).

Stacy That’s fair.

While a resolution isn’t guar-

anteed, effective complaining

enables team members to en-

gage in conict and achieve

resolutions, which criticism puts

out of reach. When resolutions

are out of reach, people be-
come marginalized and either

they leave or are let go resulting

in more work for the rest of the

team.

Many teams thrive in spite

of unresolved conflict.

Many individuals learned

to tolerate conicts by com-

plaining instead of criticizing.

But they also have a powerful,

secret ingredient: they diffuse

the tension that builds up when

discussing these issues by tak-

ing responsibility for their ac-

tions, xing their mistakes, and

appreciating the efforts of other

members of the team.

When team members

diffuse the tension, they are

enabling the other team mem-

bers to feel safe and included

instead of pushing them out

of the group or silencing their

voices.

John learned that as a

leader he needed to dene the

culture to encompass a non-

critical environment and keep

everyone accountable to being

less critical of each other. By

focusing on the situation and

positive solutions to the prob-

lem, without blaming anyone,

the team felt safer to open up

and seek help from each other.

By using Dr. Gottman’s crit-

ical formula to communicate,

team members were clearer in

what the issues were and what

they needed from each other,

which enabled them to solve

problems instead of creating

them. It took time for individ-

ual team members to change

their communication habits, but

once they did, the team was

exceeding productivity goals

and coming in before deadline.

The result was a team which

worked together in a safe and

results focused environment.

Likky Lavji is the Blind Spot Navigator,

helping organizations, teams, and indi-

viduals discover the blind spots

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Take the Free Assessment to

discover Your Bad Behaviours

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Creating MarketAPeel

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- Your Values

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While there has been much

public discourse in the last few

years about leader character,

for the most part, these discus-

sions seem to be only amplied

in the media when a breach of

trust occurs or a gross display

of a lack of integrity is demon-

strated by a public gure or

leader.

In my opinion, there is not

enough discussion about good

and bad examples of character

in the day-to-day operations

of our organizations. Even in

the best, most reputable orga-

nizations, I suspect that small

breaches occur each and every

day. And without more explicit

conversations at all levels by

all team members, I do not be-

lieve our organizations, in fact

our society, will be able to nav-

igate the complex challenges

facing us in the years ahead. It

is time to put leadership char-

acter at the top of our list of

priorities for individual and or-

ganizational development.

The good news is there has

been some great work done

on this subject recently. Each

and every one of us has access

to this solid thinking, with a

well-dened language, which

we can use to drive change in

our own circles.

In the early 2000s, I was

working as a management con-

sultant at a top rm. I still have

a lot of respect for the leaders

and colleagues I worked with

there. The character of these

individuals was one of the key

factors in my choosing to ac-

cept their offer of employment

when I graduated from busi-

ness school.

Leading in Crisis

with Character

By Shakeel Bharmal

It was demonstrated very

clearly in how the leadership

managed the bursting of the

tech bubble. While many of

our competitors were laying

off employees in the face of

declining client engagements,

my rm came up with some

creative options to keep most

of us employed. These includ-

ed giving staff the opportunity

to volunteer for up to a year

at a non-prot at partial sala-

ry. I beneted from a different

program, which allowed me to

take 2 months off without pay

to spend time with my newborn

son but with a guaranteed re-

turn to work date.

However, while the econ-

omy was resetting from the

bursting of the tech bubble, an-

other set of forces was already

in play that would result in an-

other crisis just 8 years later.

The 2008 nancial cri-

sis was a human-made crisis

caused by a widespread break-

down of leadership in compa-

nies and governments in some

of the strongest economies in

the world.

Early in my tenure, I was

assigned to a small team to

help develop a proposal for an

engagement with a major US

retailer. The retailer was look-

ing for assistance to develop a

new business unit. I was excited

to get that call. It was a plum

opportunity for a recently-mint-

ed MBA. As I was briefed, I

learned that the aim of the

project was to launch a new

business which offered credit

to a segment of the retailer’s

customers. But as the days pro-

gressed, and I conducted my

research into this segment, I

grew increasingly uncomfort-

able.

The segment was made up

of low-income, underemployed

families with no assets. These

families were eager to accept

the nancial boost that came

from access to credit with-

out fully appreciating the risk.

Lenders were eager to give

these families the credit, be-

cause they sold the debt any-

way, absolving them of the risk.

I submitted the approach

and workplan for the pro-

posal, went on my winter va-

cation with my young family

and put the brief assignment

behind me. Upon my return, I

was staffed on another project

which I felt much better about.

It has been 18 years since

I worked on that proposal but,

this past year, I have been

thinking a lot about that time.

When I was getting un-

comfortable about the nature

of the project, why did I not

speak up and express my con-

cerns? If I had, would it have

changed anything? Was it my

place, as a new junior employ-

ee, to express my concerns?

And if I had said something,

what would my leaders have

said or done to me? I think

these are very important ques-

tions of character.

After some reection, I

have come to the conclusion

that, at the time, while my re-

search into the subprime mar-

ket might have triggered my

“Humanity,” my “Courage”

as a new junior employee was

underdeveloped. I suspect this

was also the case for 1000s of

employees working in the orga-

nizations that were contributing

to the coming storm.

I also believe, as I reect

on my experiences, that as I

became more senior at the

Listen

rm, had I spoken up, I would

not have been ostracized. I

don’t think my words would

have made any difference in

the grand scheme of things,

but I would not have been hu-

miliated or penalized for speak-

ing my mind. I don’t think that

was necessarily the case at oth-

er organizations.

I am grateful that in the

months and years following

that brief, 3-day assignment, I

was exposed to ideas, leaders

and cultures that enabled me

to build a foundation of leader-

ship competence, commitment

and character, including cour-

age. I like to believe this lead-

ership character has contribut-

ed to my positively inuencing

the organizations I have been

part of since that time. But, like

everyone else, I remain a work

in progress.

Subscribe to APeeling

Shakeel Bharmal is a

leadership coach and

speaker. For more

informtaion about his

services, click the peel

Click the Peel to Listen

to the Navigating Disruption

Podcast

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The Place

of Fear

by Anthony Gruppo

While helping Anthony write his latest book, Pushers of the Possible, I could not

fathom someone so capable, condent, and composed feeling fear, so I asked

him. Here is an excerpt from the book, Pushers of the Possible.

Fear is a strong emotion

meant to keep us safe from the

real dangers to our well-be-

ing, health, and lives. In today’s

world, we fear unreal dan-

gers, which are introduced to

us through news, Hollywood,

marketing, and our political

leaders. The more we have, the

more we fear losing it and then

we spend more energy protect-

ing what we have than risking

to get more.

Anxiety is on the rise in

teens and young adults, as

they strive to do everything

they need to do in a day. It is

becoming an epidemic in our

society as people live in fear

of losing, being judged, and

failing. Many give up or don’t

even try because fear tells them

they won’t make it so, they

might as well escape into mov-

ies, video games, social media,

alcohol, drugs, or a host of oth-

er addictive escapist behaviors.

Some people wake up

afraid of what will happen next,

when the shoe will drop, which

curve ball will hit them, or when

the rug will be pulled.

The more these people fear,

the more their fears are prov-

en right as they lose again and

again. If you are in a place of

fear, you’ve already lost. If you

dwell or ruminate in a place of

fear, you are in a losing posi-

tion.

To overcome your fears

and move forward, acknowl-

edge it, understand what you

are afraid of, and then decide if

the fear is real or manufactured.

How much money do you

have in the bank? How much

do you need to make rent?

What will it take to get it? Can

you get a job? If you cannot

nd work, can you nd a proj-

ect or a contract? Have you

looked hard enough? Be hon-

est with yourself. Have you truly

done everything you possibly

can to nd work to pay the

bills? You may not like the solu-

tion, but you have to realize it is

only a short-term situation and

you can handle the situation by

making the necessary choices

to move forward.

I have found people I can

trust throughout my life and

have surrounded myself with

helpful people by being helpful

myself I start by helping others

rst and learning about them as

I do, this way I nd the people

I can trust to help me when I

have condence cracks.

I’ve been afraid. I know

what it feels like to be disap-

pointed. I’ve been anxious. I

have believed I wasn’t enough

and didn’t have what it took.

I know the taste of fear. I just

don’t swallow it. I roll the fear

around in my mouth, use my

other senses to touch it, smell

it, experience it, to get to know

the edges of it. I know what I

don’t want to happen. I know

what I do want to happen. I un-

derstand what I am really afraid

of, and then, I drive myself past

it.

Anthony Gruppo is an In-

ternational CEO, Speaker,

Author, and servant lead-

er. Click the Peel to learn

more.

Available on Amazon

Can you Find 10 Differences?

Answer key - click Peel

earlessly

To Live

Lose

Control

I asked my LinkedIn followers

to dene fear and this is what

they said:

Jessica Coulthard

I like to reframe it to EXCITE-

MENT about the unknown

Will Mackey

Fear is not being able to have

control of the unknown, wheth-

er it be real or imaginary.

Ken Baldo

Fear is the opposite of love.

Most fears are False Evidence

Appearing Real.

Tammy Boljuncic

Fear immobilizes us, paralyzes

physically and mentally high-

jacking our ability to act in any

rational manner.

It takes the life out of our lives

and has us repressing, oppress-

ing and supressing until we

regret not doing something to

save ourselves from shame and

guilt. It holds us hostage , not

for ransom, but in exchange

for our soul and purpose on

this earth. It kills us slowly while

stealing our self worth, so that

we having nothing left but

tears.

Writers use emotion to

motivate characters and move

them through their story. The

two strongest motivators for

human behaviour are fear and

love. Both are on either side of

a weight scale and still interact

to fuel each other

An author can use the fear

of losing a love or a child to

motivate a character into ac-

tion. She can use the fear of

never nding love to create

conict and depth in a char-

acter. Fear of being hurt by

someone we love to keep a

character stuck and distanced

from their target; love. Fear of

being loved so much that the

character can’t reciprocate, can

inspire self awareness or intro-

spection.

We fear that which we do

not control. Think about it.

Fear of loss - We can’t control

if something is lost or someone

is lost.

Fear of object - The object is

in control of our response and

our safety

Fear of future - No one con-

trols time, the future, the past

or right now.

Fear of the unknown - You

can’t control what you don’t

know

Fear of people - Can’t control

the actions of others

Fear of public speaking - Your

inability to control what they

will say or think when they pay

attention to you

So, if we want to live a

fearless life - We need to lose

What is Fear?

by Shannon Peel

control. We need to let it go,

accept it, and trust that things

will be as they will be. We need

to see things for what they real-

ly are and not what they might

be.

Due to global communica-

tion our world is micro and we

fear things that are not a threat.

We create threats. We are our

own worst enemy because we

have irrational fears, anxiety

and panic attacks. We start hid-

ing from the world, shutting off

from those around us becom-

ing isolated.

All one needs do is watch

the news to know we are in a

state of fear. Covid, protests,

violence, division, and personal

attacks.

It can be a scary place if

we focus only on what we can-

not control. By focusing on

what we can and acting accord-

ingly, we can go out and suc-

ceed.

I live in fear every day, but

I do not let it stop me from

trying to succeed. Yes, I am

scared, but I’m still here trying!

How does

fear fit into

your story?

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Social Media Content Package

The economic decline be-

ing experienced by the news

industry may precipitate one of

the biggest marketing shifts of

the next ten years. Here’s why.

The Free Fall of Journal-

ism: Journalist jobs are in free

fall. In the 10 years ending with

2018, newsroom jobs declined

25%. But in 2019 and 2020, the

bloodletting has been horric

for journalists. This is happen-

ing not just at newspapers, but

also magazines and digital me-

dia. There is no longer a safe

haven in the news business and

journalists are desperate to g-

ure out their next move. The

traditional news business is not

coming back and they know it.

The Return of Storytelling:

At the same time, the world

of marketing is returning to its

roots. Storytelling. Mankind has

always passed along important

information through the telling

of stories. It’s how the human

brain works best. The rise of

the internet took us away from

that for a season, but now that

information has become abun-

dant and functionally free, peo-

ple are no longer enamored or

interested in information. They

seek relevance and authori-

ty. That is best accomplished

through storytelling.

The Emergence of Social

Media Fatigue: While these

above mentioned changes are

active and visible, there’s a third

and related trend impacting the

world of marketing. People are

getting weary of social media.

A New Future

For Journalists

By Gil Gerretsen

They nd themselves wasting

too much time on senseless

scrolling. They are increasingly

frustrated by people’s increas-

ingly unpleasant online be-

havior. They nd themselves

actively distrusting the social

media platforms. As a a result,

more people are either reduc-

ing their activity, disengaging

for a period of emotional recov-

ery, or deleting their accounts

entirely. People are looking for

better and more trustworthy

ways to know what’s going on

in the world around them.

Five Year Career Shifts:

Twenty years ago we saw the

emergence of computer pro-

grammers as a force in busi-

ness. They changed the world.

Fifteen years ago we saw the

emergence of graphic design-

ers as computers allowed them

to polish the look and feel of

marketing materials. Ten years

ago, we started seeing the

emergence of website design-

ers who combined program-

ming skills and graphic skills to

build amazing online marketing

machines. Five years ago, we

Wasting Time?

saw the rise of app develop-

ers who took their skills and

insights to the world of mar-

keting through phones and

tablets. The realignment and

redeployment of journalists is

next!

Journalists Leave The

Cocoon: There’s a powerful

marketing storm on the hori-

zon that is creating a fresh op-

portunity for savvy marketers

and journalists. Skilled journal-

ists are trained to write and tell

stories in a memorable way.

Few programmers, graphic

designers, or app developers

have that skill. As the world

of marketing embraces story-

telling as the best way to get

messages across, companies

will need skilled storytellers.

Larger companies will hire jour-

nalists (or teams of journalists)

to become their corporate sto-

rytellers. Many more journal-

ists will start creating fractional

agencies where they split their

“freelancer” services across

multiple clients -- much like

programmers, graphic design-

ers, and app developers have

done in the past.

Why It’s Smart to Hire

A Journalist: The era of inter-

rupting potential customers

with self-centered “marketing

material” is ending. Compa-

nies wil l be forced to migrate

towards creating and offering

interesting stories and insights

that intrigue people and caus-

es them to seek out a deeper

relationship. Having a journal-

ist on your team who can do

this will set you apart from the

competition and give you a

signicant edge in the market-

place.

Journalists Think Differ-

ently: Of course, a journalist

thinks very differently than a

marketer, so if you hire one,

you need to be aware of the

differences. First, they are ac-

customed to deadlines and

often thrive with the associated

adrenaline rush (even if they

complain about it). Second, by

virtue of their training and eth-

ics, credible journalists can’t

and won’t spew out corporate

gobbledygook. Third, their nat-

ural ability to sift through in-

formation and opinions, weigh

options, and then write clear

stories means they will see op-

portunities that more tradition-

al marketers might miss. You

need to provide transparency

and give them comparatively

free reign!

The Bottom Line: The sto-

rytelling shift is inevitable. Cor-

porate journalism will become

a signicant new career path.

Journalists who become cor-

porate storytellers will become

the best way to connect con-

sumers to the people behind

the products and services that

will lead the way in the coming

decade.

Gil Gerretsen . a veteran

marketing consultant,

business builder, and

turnaround specialist

Think

Differently

Are you planting Bananas

& expecting to pick Cucum-

bers? In my experience life

is all about cause and effect,

do you remember learning at

school that every action has an

equal and opposite reaction?

Call it what you like, cause and

effect, sow and reap, action &

reaction one thing is for sure

we are all currently getting the

results of the action we have

taken in the past. So I’m sure

that you, like me, will agree

that if we want something dif-

ferent we need to do some-

thing different!

As a psychologist I am al-

ways looking at the Behaviour

of my clients, and come to

that, at a lot of the people

that attend ABC Networks and

what I see is people getting a

poor result and then moaning

about it… How crazy is that?

Psychologists are con-

stantly trying to prove or dis-

prove theories and a theory

that I have knocking about

in my head at the moment is

this… Small business owners

that are currently not generat-

ing enough money and would

like to, fall into one of two cat-

egories…

1 – They don’t know what to

do to.

2 – They know what to do but

don’t do it.

If they don’t know what to

do then that’s easy to x; nd

out what you need to learn and

then Do It Now!

Bananas &

Cucumbers

By Ash Lawrence

The second group is some-

what harder to solve as they

really do need to ask them-

selves why it is that they are not

taking action on the knowledge

that they have. For instance, do

they really want what it is they

say they want?

I speak to lots of small

business owners and I’m

amazed at how many people

seem to have a different view

of the sow and reap theory, for

example they go networking

don’t engage with people,

they don’t get any business and

then say that networking

doesn’t work. They then try a

different networking group,

don’t engage again and funny

thing is they don’t get any busi-

ness again. Is this group 1 or 2?

This behaviour isn’t just

restricted to networking events

either, it happens in other areas

of their business. A business

owner I met recently was telling

me about his current cash ow

issues and how he gets ahead

for a bit and then the same

thing happens. I asked him

what his systems were for col-

lecting money from his clients

and he said he hasn’t got time

to put any systems in place be-

cause he is always chasing sales

so he would have enough cash

to pay his bills… Is this group 1

or 2?

One thing for sure is

that it is absolute

madness, to keep

doing the same

thing and expecting a differ-

ent result, it’s just like planting

bananas and expecting to pick

cucumbers! It doesn’t work…

If you are happy with the

result you are getting, that’s

great. If not and you want a

different result, then do some-

thing different and if that

doesn’t work do something dif-

ferent and if that doesn’t work

do something different! Are

you getting the picture?

First of all you need to

know exactly what result it is

that you want and then you

need to measure every day

what has worked and what

hasn’t. Every day I ask my-

self have I moved towards my

target or away from it. If I’ve

moved towards it, great, I’ll

do more of what I did. If I’ve

moved away from it, I’ll change

what I did, it’s really quite sim-

ple.

It doesn’t matter what we

do in life we can’t plant banan-

as and pick cucumbers.

Ash Lawrence is the

Flip Flop Psycho who

helps people change

the ‘Cause’ of their

results!

Video https://youtu.be/1k4eY2q_RoQ

Either you live life or

live in fear of it

APeeling members have access to a

content library lled with generic

evergreen content which they can use

for their own social media posts

Learn More

Photo by Marcy Peel

Our gift to you.

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Write Your Story Challenge

Want to write your life story for prosperity, your family, or perhaps for yourself?

Daily writing prompts to ignite your memories

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About Cameron Chell

Cameron Chell is considered

a ‘serial entrepreneur’ with his

rst ventures beginning at age 14

and a trajectory in business that

spans more than 25 years. He is

the co-founder and CEO of the

Business Instincts Group (BIG) and

BUILD Impossible. He has launched

numerous successful tech start-ups

such as Dragany Innovations (CSE:

DFLY) (OTCQB: DFLYF), ColdBore

Technologies, Raptor Rig, Urthe-

cast, KODAKOne and Currency-

Works (TSXV and OTCQB: CWRK).

His entrepreneurial success is

based on principles of clear vision,

quantiable results and tireless pur-

suit of goals.

A sought-after speaker, Chell

has addressed audiences of thou-

sands in settings around the world.

His presentations include speeches

at the United Nations, Tony Rob-

bins, and TEDx Montreal Women.

His talks touch on themes ranging

from technology to homelessness

as he shares his life experiences of

overcoming hurdles and doing “the

impossible.”

Cameron Chell

Gets Schooled

Everyday

Beauty

From her favorite place in

her Vancouver art studio along-

side her artist husband, Emi-

lie Fantuz has built a life and

career from the moments that

most bring her joy—everyday

beauty. After discovering the

medium of oil paint and pal-

ette knives that would ignite

her art while living immersed

in the beauty of Hawaii, Emilie

found her time in Michigan and

subsequent move to Canada a

welcome adventure but it was

everyday life that honed the

practice that would ultimately

birth Emilie’s success and hap-

piness.

Emilie cultivated a practice

of seeking beauty in unexpect-

ed places—the reection of a

bluesky and white clouds on a

skyscraper’s glass side, the col-

orful lights of store signs shim-

mering on wet streets. Finding

beauty in the unexpected has

not only brought Emilie person-

al joy, even helping her carve

a new life in a different coun-

try, but has also developed the

quality that makes her work

powerful both for her audience

and herself—authenticity.

Every artist must consider

the question of who they paint

for and why. Do they paint for

collectors and nancial suc-

cess? Do they paint for an au-

dience and their acceptance?

Do they paint for themselves

and their own happiness? Each

answer comes with its benets

and challenges. In her pursuit

of authenticity, Emilie’s choice

to paint only what draws her

eye and stokes her passion has

culminated in both an unmis-

takably unique body of work

and a lifelong practice of fol-

lowing her bliss.

It’s the courage to take the

path that calls to us, regard-

less of whether others can see

or understand this path, that

leads us to the life of authen-

ticity, beauty, and joy we all

desire. In art, Emilie found a

never-ending adventure with

limitless potential for growth

and exploration. It’s this search

for the moments of everyday

beauty—palette knife in hand,

working beside her life part-

ner—that shows Emilie Fantuz

she’s found her path.

Emilie Fantuz is an artist, using oil

paint and palette knives to create art

that preserves a glimpse of beauty in

the subtle scenes we often overlook.

Discover

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Marriage

or Divorce?

By Nina Thiara

I support women, like you,

make the most critical decision

of their lives, whether to leave

or stay in a marriage.

It was my own personal

journey of going through a di-

vorce that made me passion-

ate about helping other women

gain clarity on whether they

should leave or stay in a mar-

riage that isn’t working.

I was so unhappy in my

marriage that I decided to sep-

arate from my husband. I feel

in some ways my decision to

separate was done in a reactive

mode without fully feeling my

emotions. I did not fully explore

all my options before making

the decision to separate. When

I separated, I was angry at my

partner and I was coming from

blame.

I then got myself in the

busy mode of taking care of the

children, managing the house,

nances and going back to

school. Everything a person

who is going through a heart-

ache will do to x the problem

on the outside.

I failed to look at my EMO-

TIONS and really hone in the

ROOT cause of me wanting to

leave. The busyness was a dis-

traction and was a temporary

solution. When the busy-ness

subsided, I hit depression and

that’s when I realized that if I

wanted to really leave my hus-

band from a fully empowered

place, I rst needed to accept

my situation for what it was.

I needed to feel my emo-

tions and gain the clarity I

needed to leave or stay from

a place of forgiveness, grati-

tude and acceptance. It doesn’t

mean that the journey ahead

was going to be easy, what it

meant was that I could take full

responsibility for my journey

without blaming anyone. If I left

from a place of blame, I knew I

would continue to re-create the

same problem somewhere else.

That’s when I decided to

do the deep inner work need-

ed to make a clear decision of

whether to leave or stay. What

was interesting that the emo-

tions coming up were my own

suppressed emotions from

childhood that I had to work on

feeling and releasing. Although,

prior to doing the emotional

work needed, I put all the blame

on my ex-husband, but after

doing the work, I realized that

what I had in my marriage was

what I subconsciously co-creat-

ed based on my own family his-

tory.

I not only had to heal my

marriage, I also had to heal my

childhood programming and my

cultural beliefs around relation-

ships. Once, I gained the clarity,

not only the depression lifted

and I healed, I also was able to

leave my ex from a good place,

keeping the future of my chil-

dren secure and emotionally in-

tact from any effects of divorce.

I also took care of my nances

so I didn’t go broke after di-

vorce, but had a future cushion

for my children and me.

I really want the same for

you. If your marriage is worth

saving, let’s work together to

explore that option, if it doesn’t

have a potential to be saved,

let’s not leave from a place of

anger and blame. The world

needs happy women so do our

children.

To explore the option of

whether to leave or stay sign up

for my free product where I will

share 3 challenges women face

when it comes to making the

most critical decision of their

lives, whether to stay or leave

in a marriage that isn’t working.

Nina Thiara is a Divorce Coach who

provides her clients with the emo-

tional clarity they need in making the

decision whether to leave or stay in a

marriage

Subscribe to APeeling

In Canada November is

Domestic Violence Month

As an adult, wife and

mother, I thought I had pre-

pared myself for the worst of

anything. I was always an in-

dependent being, resourceful,

willing to learn, grow and de-

velop into the best version of

myself. I didn’t suffer from any

diagnosed anxiety, other than a

self-diagnosis of being able to

cope effectively with quick re-

exes and a penchant for prob-

lem solving. Bring me the prob-

lems as I attacked them with

vigor, logic and experience. But

nobody prepares you for your

own trauma. Nobody.

I became a statistic of

domestic violence during

COVID-19. My husband

crossed the line I condently

told others many times over he

would never cross to physical

abuse or harm to myself or my

children. With that assault came

shock, disbelief, and a ight

response I didn’t know existed

in my being. I was a ghter…

and I chose not to ght back. I

simply couldn’t believe it hap-

pened. There was no warning,

no air bag with oxygen mask to

drop from the ceiling, no pam-

phlet to inform me of a water

Brace for Impact:

A Covid 19 Domestic Abuse Story

The following stories were submitted to APeeling for Anonymous pub-

lication. I applaud their courage in leaving a bad situation and sharing

their stories to inspire others to nd their courage. Domestic abuse is a

pandemic, one many ignore because it make them uncomfortable.

landing. Nothing.

Current state of affairs in-

cludes a steadfast routine of

counselling, seeking wisdom

and a path to end a marriage

that had been overdue to be

ended, but with children in-

volved, it’s not always easy.

Pandemic or not, there is no

easy time to go through some-

thing like this. To try to make

sense of anything is part of the

healing and it’s going to be

scary, hairy and purposeful. I

refuse to become a victim by

sharing my story, albeit anon-

ymously. Keep in mind that’s

just for now as I seek to protect

myself and my children through

our healing. And one day I will

be proud to call myself a survi-

vor.

5 months later...

The aftermath.

A lot can change in 5

months. That impact resulted

in a time of extreme growth.

I chose to commit to working

and healing through the impact

and its aftermath. Aftermath is

commonly related to negative

events and I’m not going to lie,

our aftermath included a very

ugly relapse of alcohol abuse,

continued verbal and emotion-

al abuse to both myself and my

children. My aftermath also had

positive results. Most impor-

tantly, I found my voice. I found

my voice and most importantly

the words to conclude that I

refused to live any more days

unhappy and in a situation that

clearly needed my voice to

move forward to work towards

a life of happiness and joy de-

spite the growing pains to our

new family dynamics, a naviga-

tion of recovery, and becoming

a single parent.

In this aftermath, the grass got

cut and regrowth is a very won-

derful thing. The grass is green-

er where you water it, even if it

got cut short.

-Still Anonymous

Domestic Abuse is up in 2020

According to St. Joseph’s SADVTP

St Joseph’s Hospital is located in London Ontario Click for more info.

When someone is physi-

cally assaulted it is easy for us

to believe the person is abused

and needs help. However,

when the abuse is psycholog-

ical it can be easy to dismiss

as over sensitive or looking for

sympathy instead of help.

The person may not know

they are being abused and

slowly, over time their self-es-

teem is worn down until they

believe they don’t matter, are

unworthy of help, and are

numb to the humiliation and

degradation. They may even

welcome it because it feels nor-

mal to them due to condition-

ing over time.

To undermine your self

esteem, the abuser will humil-

iate and criticize constantly to

reinforce the idea that you are

nothing. An abuser may con-

stantly call you stupid or have a

derogatory “pet name” for you.

They will do their best to assas-

sinate your character by saying

you are not “good enough” by

accusing you of “always” being

something negative, incapable

of being successful, or unwor-

thy of good things. Words hurt

and a psychological abuser will

use their words to demean and

break down the person they

claim to love.

Psychological abusers will

not hit you with their sts, but

they will with their voice. They

will yell, throw things, pound

their sts to scare you and

make you feel weak. They will

threaten you with violence or

something you are scared of

like being alone or losing the

kids. They will embarrass you in

public and push your buttons

every chance they get.

At the core of psycholog-

ical abuse is control and they

will do anything to ensure

Psychological Abuse

Shannon Peel

they control you. Monitoring

your whereabouts and digital-

ly spying on you so they can

nd something you are doing

wrong and punish you for it as

if you were a child. They may

even make important decisions

for you, like taking control of

your nances to make you ask

them for money.

Abusers have insecurities

and they want to ensure you

are beneath them in everything

so they will blame, accuse, and

deny ensuring they are right,

and you are wrong. They will

blame you for their abusive

behaviours, it’s all your fault

they are like this, they are re-

ally good, but you make them

bad. Or they will deny their

abusive behaviour all together

and tell you that you are imag-

ining things. They will gaslight

you by making you question

what you know to be true. You

agreed that if you bathed the

kids, he’d read them a bedtime

story. When it comes time to

read the story, he says you nev-

er agreed to that and contin-

ue until you think you’re crazy.

They will blame you for their

problems. It’s your fault they

have to stay at a job they hate,

even if you found them one,

they’d love but they choose not

to take it.

It is all about them and

they will emotionally abuse

you to ensure their feelings are

more important than yours.

They will demand you respect

them, but they don’t need to

respect you. They ignore you

when you need them or get

angry if they have to help you.

Some will isolate you from

friends and family to ensure

you are dependent on them

and alone without them. Your

feelings mean nothing to them,

they will ignore your pain and

say you are being “silly” for

feeling a certain way.

Fear is at the core of psy-

chological abuse. The abuser

uses fear to keep the abused

person under their control. The

abuser is also scared of being

alone, losing them, or being

seen as they see themselves.

There are resources out

there for people who are

abused to help them to break

free and to heal.

It takes time to heal and

those around you may not want

to help you, hear you, or wait for

you to be better. Friends and

family may expect you to be

the person they think you are,

even though you are far from

it. This is why it is important

to nd resources, meet other

people who have gone through

what you have, and take time

to be alone to discover who

you are.

Women often stay because the

abuser has threatened to kill

them himself, or the children:

About 26% of all wom-

en who are murdered by their

spouse had left. Half of the

murdered women were killed

within two months of leaving

the relationship.

Women are 6 times more

likely to be killed by an ex-part-

ner than by a current partner.

Almost 60% of all dating

violence happens after the rela-

tionship has ended.

Women stay because

they are nancially dependent

on their partner. Women who

leave a partner to raise chil-

dren on their own are ve times

more likely to be poor.

About 1 in 5 single moth-

ers in Canada live on a low in-

come.

Some women stay because

they have strong beliefs about

keeping the family together.

Sometimes, relatives or in-laws

blame the woman for the vio-

lence and insist she stay.

The mental health conse-

quences of abuse can make

it difcult for women to leave

a relationship. Sixty-four per

cent of battered women exhib-

it symptoms of post-traumatic

stress disorder (PTSD).

Domestic abuse is often

a gradual process, with the

frequency of assaults and seri-

ousness of the violence slow-

ly escalating over time. Since

abusers often express deep re-

morse and promise to change,

it can take years for women to

admit that the violence will nev-

er stop.

The long-term experience

of being abused can destroy a

woman’s self-condence, mak-

ing it more difcult to believe

she deserves better treatment.

Why do Women Stay?

Click for sources and more info

The answer for this question taken from CanadianWomen.org Click button for more information

I was married to a psycho-

logical abuser for 20 years. Why

didn’t I leave in 2002 when I

rst thought of leaving? Why

didn’t I leave when my friends

offered me a place to stay?

Why didn’t I leave when he rst

said he wanted a divorce? Why

didn’t I leave when...? The an-

swer is fear.

I was scared of losing the

privilege of being with my kids

every day. They were my ev-

erything and the idea of not

having them in my daily life

was scary. Little did I know that

they were determined to come

with me and stay with me. A

few years later they moved out

on their own and I had to face

down my fear of them not be-

ing in my daily life and of being

alone in the world. Guess what

- I survived.

I was scared of pover-

ty. During the times when I

Why I stayed:

A Domestic Abuse Story

thought of leaving, I didn’t

have a job and no money.

When I did have a job, he de-

manded I pay 50% of all the

bills – sounds fair right? 50%

was always more than what I

made, and I still had to buy the

groceries and pay for the kid’s

extra curricular stuff. What do

you do when you need to pay

for something and you don’t

have enough? You use your

credit card. In the end, I had

no job, I had a credit card bill,

which my ex wouldn’t pay be-

cause he stopped paying any

bill that was in my name. Can

you guess where I ended up by

myself? You guessed it, in front

of judge admitting I was a -

nancial failure. I made payment

arrangements and a month

later, I nally got a job and af-

ter 2 years paid it all back, but

my credit rating was gone. He

didn’t pay much in child sup-

port and what I made barely

paid the bills, but we made it

through.

I was scared of being

alone. By this time, I believed I

was worth nothing to the world,

that no one could possibly

love me and I didn’t matter. If

I left, I would be alone for the

rest of my life and the pain of

that fear was worse than stay-

ing. When my marriage broke

down, I went out into the dat-

ing world trying to prove to

him that I could be loved and

be loved by someone amazing.

Well, that didn’t happen. I was

provided more evidence that I

was unlovable or only wanted

by men whose behaviour was

worse than my husbands. Fun-

ny thing, I am now happy with

being alone and the idea of a

solitary life no longer causes

me pain or fear, in fact, I enjoy

being alone.

I was scared of my par-

ents. This has got to be the

most irrational fear I had at the

time. I was scared that my par-

ents wouldn’t love me if I left

him. I had no good reason for

leaving besides I didn’t want to

be with him. He didn’t cheat,

he was responsible, and he

didn’t beat me. He only yelled

and told me all the ways I was

useless. Growing up, I was

taught marriage was forever

and you didn’t bail because

you were unhappy, you stuck

it out through the bad times

for the good times. Divorce for

the sake of divorce was unac-

ceptable and bad for the kids.

Never mind that my son was

begging me to leave his dad.

In the end, my relationship with

my parents is better than it

ever was. I now realize they will

love me even when I fall at on

my face. I know, I should have

known that before.

I didn’t see myself as be-

ing abused. I didn’t see his

behaviour as abusive. I didn’t

understand that I was in con-

stant fear of his moods and

believed what he told me,

“I didn’t deserve better.” He

didn’t want to be whipped and

doing anything for me meant

he was whipped. I thought I

was OK with never having help

and always picking up the slack

around the house because I

was more than capable of do-

ing it all, work, home, kids. His

constant criticism was normal

to me. I ignored him when he

blamed me for his lot in life and

the dust. I always get blamed

for the dust. I believed he was

the best partner for me be-

cause our strengths and weak-

nesses were opposite and he

forced me to do the things I

didn’t want to do, like clean

the house. Real romantic huh. I

look back now and wonder how

we stayed together so long.

After he forced me out of

the house, I started meeting

with lawyers and other divorce

professionals. Each one told

me there was government help

because I was an abused wom-

an. I’d stare at them blankly

and tell them I wasn’t. Then

they would explain how my be-

haviour and attitude was that of

an abused woman.

I was terried of upsetting

him. I wouldn’t demand full

child support and was willing to

take the pittance he offered be-

cause I was scared of his tem-

per. I didn’t think I deserved

my fair share and the only thing

I cared about was having the

kids with me full time. I’d sacri-

ce anything and everything for

that one thing. I am not a timid

person and I am smart enough

to know how to protect my

interests, still the idea of him

nding out I’d put a lien on the

house terried me.

After 3 years, I nally got a

lawyer and I felt protected for

the rst time in years. He had

my back and a no contact order

to send to my ex.

My recovery started on

that day. It was like a huge

weight of fear was lifted off me.

Every day since then, I have

gotten stronger, more con-

dent, and less afraid. I have a

lot of work to do still, but I can

be proud of myself because

I am a strong, independent

woman who doesn’t need a

man – Which is exactly how my

son described me soon after

the separation, I didn’t feel that

way then, I do now.

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Charlie’s Story

Just sign the offer. I’m with

my client in the other board-

room waiting for her ex hus-

band to sign the divorce pa-

pers and settlement offer. He’s

drawn this out too long and

cost my client too much mon-

ey. It should have been simple,

easy, 50/50 split. No such thing

as an easy divorce. People think

the law is black and white, but

its not, its full of loopholes,

precedents, arguments, and

procedures.

I like practicing law. I en-

joy putting a case together and

arguing the points to get the

best deal for my client. It’s like

a game of chess, you gure out

what your client really wants

and what they are willing to

compromise, then you build a

game plan.

In my opinion it’s best

when my client makes the rst

move, that way we can ask for

everything they are legally en-

titled to and have more con-

trol over the chessboard at the

start. Then it’s just a matter of

give and take. She’ll give you

the car in exchange for the

home’s contents. He’ll give you

the savings account balance

and you waive rights to his pen-

sion plan. Figuring out what

the other side will be willing to

exchange and making the right

moves so my client will get

what she really wants.

This case. Not so easy.

He decided to represent him-

Just Sign

By Shannon Peel

The Novel #ThatsLife was written as a serial

series. Each Issue of APeeling will include a

chapter for you to enjoy.

self. Never a good thing. He’s

cocky and believes he knows

the law better than I do be-

cause he read some textbooks

and got some free advice. He’s

using every trick he can come

up with to draw this out and

my client is left holding the bill.

Thing is, I still have one ace up

my sleeve and if we have to go

to court, I’m using it, that is if

my client doesn’t chicken out.

“Maybe we should just give

him what he wants. I don’t want

to do this anymore. I want it to

be over.” My client is pacing

back and forth. “I mean I don’t

really use the vacation house.

He can have it. I can’t take the

stress anymore.”

“STOP.” She stops pacing

and looks at me. “I know you’ll

give away the farm just to have

this over. You have to let me go

at him with everything. We’ve

been as nice as we can. If he’s

going to cost you more, you

have no choice.”

“I don’t know. I just can’t

do this anymore. The stress is

too much.”

“I understand. I’ve been

there. Right now, you’re only

ghting for what’s fair, in fact

less than fair. You’ve already

given him more than he’s legal-

ly entitled to. The mediation

judge is going over it with him

now. Let’s just wait and see

what happens rst.”

Judges don’t like it when

someone wastes the courts

Five Women

Navigating Life in

the 21st Century.

time or plays games to punish

the other party by using the

system, that’s what this guy is

doing. He thinks he’s pulling

the wool over everyone’s eyes,

but he’s not. I hate men like

him.

The door opens and the

mediation judge comes in.

“I am sorry, he won’t listen to

reason. I’ve tried explaining the

laws to him and what will hap-

pen if he goes to court. He’s

determined to play lawyer, he

wants his day in court.”

I smile.

“No. No. No. We should just

give him what he wants.”

“Sherry, listen. I know this is

hard.”

“It’s expensive that’s what it is.

And now you want me to pay

for experts.”

“I know. He wants it to be ex-

pensive for you. He’s punishing

you.”

“I know. I just. Oh I am tired.”

“We’ve talked about the next

step. Are you prepared to go

ahead with it?”

“Do I have any other choice?”

“Not really. This is for the best.

I know court is scary and that

you are scared about what a

judge will say. I can’t say for

certain which way it will go, but

if we do this, I believe you will

come out better off than that

deal we just gave him. OK?”

“Are you sure it’s going to cost

that much?”

“I’m afraid so, but if I’m right

then you’ll have the money to

cover it.”

She nods and I open my

briefcase to take out papers to

give to the mediating judge.

“I have a petition for a full psy-

chological assessment of both

parents, the children, and ev-

eryone who lives in the homes.

Names are there.”

“Let’s take a look.” He reads

the paperwork. “It all looks in

order.” He signs one copy and

hands it to me. He signs the

second copy to present to the

other party.

“I’m not done.”

He cocks his head at me,

curiosity in his eyes. I smile at

him and hand him another set

of papers.

“This is a letter stating my cli-

ent rescinds all offers up to this

point and requests copies of all

nancial documents again.”

“Again? Why do you want

those?” The judge asks.

“Because my ofce’s forensic

accountant believes he may

have some money hidden. He’ll

go looking for it now. Don’t tell

him we are looking.”

“They always think they can get

away with it.”

“I know. He’s not going to be

happy when he gets these. If

you want I’ll get security up

here before you present him

with the papers. He has a tem-

per.”

I turn to my client she’s as

white as a sheet, I’m scared she

might faint. I grab her arm to

guide her to the closest chair.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna be sick.” With that

she puked all over my new suit.

The Food Bank

By Shannon Peel

The Novel #ThatsLife was written as a serial

series. Each Issue of APeeling will include a

chapter for you to enjoy.

Sophie’s Story

I’m standing in line at the

local food bank. You know I

used to drive by here every day

and I had no idea it was here.

Funny.

It’s humiliating. I… Sorry…

I mean… I’m grateful.

I’m thankful that the kids are

at Rose’s place and not here.

I told her I had a doctor’s ap-

pointment, I couldn’t tell her

I was at the welfare ofce and

then coming here. I couldn’t.

When I checked in the nice lady

give me a card that says 3 and

another that says 2. This means

I’m able to collect food for 3

people and 2 school lunches. I

should be grateful, and I am in

a way, but I mean, it’s just, I’m

not supposed to be here.

I’m supposed to be able to take

care of my kids. I’m supposed

to be living in a nice house in

an upscale neighbourhood. I’m

supposed to be married with

2.5 kids and 2 cars in the drive-

way. That’s what adults are sup-

posed to do, right?

You know, I had that, I did.

Really. Before I had to leave.

I lived in a 5 bedroom house

on a cul de sac backing onto a

quiet green belt, I lived there, I

did, honest. I had 4 cars in the

drive way, well only one was

mine, the oldest one and the

other 3 were my husband’s…

Oh right, my ex husband, now.

I have to remember that.

It’s not fair. I did everything

right. I did what I was supposed

to do and here I am standing

in line for food other people

didn’t want. Well I guess it’s t-

ting somehow, because like this

food, I am not wanted.

Craig, that’s my ex. He still

lives in our 5 bedroom house.

He still has 3 cars and he still

has a good job. He hates his

job, but it pays good, it just

makes him miserable. It was

good enough to keep us in that

house. Good enough to keep

the kitchen stocked with food.

Good enough to keep the kids

in good quality clothes and lots

of shiny toys.

It is a good paying job. He

should be happy with it. He’s

not. Now that I’m gone he says

he will be. He’ll be happy now

that I’m not there.

I moved into a small 2

bedroom basement suite in an

old house outside town. Me

and my 2 kids. We t into it,

somehow. I sleep on the couch

because the nice lady at the

courthouse said it was better

for the kids to have separate

rooms cause they’re a boy and

girl. The courts will be happier

if they have separate rooms,

she told me. It’ll make it hard-

er for Craig to take them, she

said. I’m supposed to be giving

them the same life they had

before the separation, she said.

I’m not. I can’t. I don’t make

enough on welfare. Craig,

when he feels like it and I beg

for it, gives me a few hundred

dollars. I’d rather stand in this

line than beg him for money.

I wonder if she likes the kitchen

I designed? I miss my kitchen.

The thought of her, his girl-

friend, in my kitchen, in my life,

it makes me sick. The pain in

my throat burns it and my eyes

have started watering, right

here in this stupid line. I wipe

them away quickly. I hope no

one saw. I look down at my

feet. I need new shoes.

“Tuna or ground beef?” The

lady behind the counter asks

me.

“Ground beef.” I answer.

She gives me two frozen

packages. I shufe on to get a

couple carrots and some pota-

toes. I am grateful for the food.

I am. It’s just that I’m used to

roasts, steaks and chicken.

Ground beef? What am I sup-

posed to do with that?

Boxes of Mac n Cheese

made with toxic orange food

colouring. Craig would beat me

for feeding the kids this. They

aren’t allowed to eat this pro-

cessed food. It’s food though. I

can’t afford to say no to food.

Rose wants me to get a

lawyer and take him to court.

Demand child support and my

share. I can’t. She doesn’t un-

derstand. I’m not sure I under-

stand. When Craig told me we

were getting divorced, he told

me no lawyers. He’d be fair, he

said and we could do this with-

out the courts, he said. We’d

both be fair. This doesn’t feel

fair

He told me the courts will

mess everything up and cost

a bunch of money. Money we

could use for the kids. The law-

yers would take our kid’s mon-

ey. He said the courts would

decide where the kids lived.

We could do this on our own,

he said. He’d be fair, he said.

Can the court make the kids

live with him because he can af-

ford them and I can’t? He says

they can. The court lady said

she couldn’t say what a judge

would do. She said that the

court would assess each situa-

tion and do what was best for

the kids. What is best for the

kids?

My neighbour Liz, she

went to court and they took the

kids away. She used to have

them almost as much as I have

mine, all the time, but now she

has them only half of the time.

Liz said the judge hated her

and was unfair. Would a judge

hate me? Would he force my

kids to go live with him instead

of always living with me? I can’t

lose my kids. I just can’t.

I put the apples and orang-

es they’ve given me into my

bag, a weak smile on my face.

“White or Brown?” Another

woman asks.

“Brown please.”

She hands me two loaves of

day old bread and I’m grateful

for it. I am. Without this I would

have nothing.

“Are your kids allergic to pea-

nuts?” I shake my head. “Here

you look like you could use

this.” She passes me a large jar

of peanut butter and another

jar of honey. I can’t even afford

to buy my kids peanut butter

and honey. My nose is burning,

my eyes are blurring, I’m sob-

bing.

I feel someone’s arms

around me. It’s one of the la-

dies from behind the counter.

I feel her pushing against my

shoulder moving me towards

the back. Hide. Hide the bro-

ken woman who no one wants.

“Here sit down. Here’s a box of

tissues. Are you ok?”

Her words sound absurd,

but I nod. OK? Am I OK? Am I

ever going to be OK again?

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