AIM October 2024 : simplebooklet.com

AlwaysDear Readers,Happy Fall Y’all! October is Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness Month. Our Prosecutor POV contributor,Kathryn Marsh writes about a lesser known form of DV known as Coercive Control. What is it?And how can we identify it? Our Parenting POV writer, Tina Hamilton shares how she navigated her daughter’s bigemotions to find an unexpected teacher in her.Our new monthly contributor is coming from the soon to be STAR Network, Survivors of ToxicAbusive Relationships. This month they will discuss Healing from Within: How the STARNetwork helps survivors re-parent themselves and recover from CPTSD.Children’s book Author of Belly Rise, Jill-Lynette Piazza shares her journey of living withanxiety and finding her voice. Find out how she’s helping others do the same.Trauma Educator Karen Gross has a new book out, Mending Education: Finding Hope,Creativity and Mental Wellness in Times of Trauma. In this month’s piece, she is able toelaborate on finding the silver lining in these challenging times.For October, Jenny Briard gives us insight into her personal story of childhood sexual abuse,and the difficult relationships that followed. She takes us on her journey into the Amazonwhere she found healing and the ability to break generational cycles through Ayahuasca andfamily constellations therapy. And as in every issue, we have our monthly AIM Playlist for Lovin’ Life, along with my picks forchildren and adult books. Plus, check out Joy Larkin's Twin Flame Reading to see what's instore for you this October. Happy Reading!A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast Season 6 has also begun so please check out the latestepisodes here!Happy Reading!Lorilee BinstockAuthentic Insider | Page 02editor's noteLorilee BinstockEditor in Chief

Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6

Page 7

Page 8

Page 9

Authentic Insider | Page 09October is domestic violence awareness month. While weoften think of domestic violence as the physical assault oremotional abuse depicted in movies and TV shows, we don’tspend enough time talking about or educating one anotheron coercive control.Coercive control refers to patterns of behavior that areintended to exert power or control over another person.This type of behavior is designed to make a victim them feelisolated or scared. It can deprive a person of independenceor the ability to do anything on their own as their day to daylife may be regulated by the abuser. Between 60-80% ofwomen seeking assistance for abuse have experiencedcoercive control. Evan Stark, the author of CoerciveControl: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life statedthat asking a survivor “Is there someone in your life makingyou afraid?” or ; “Controlling what you do or say?” promisesan even more profound awakening than asking womenabout violence.” Coercive control can be difficult torecognize because the tactics used can be subtle and escalateslowly. While there is no definitive list of behaviors ormathematical equation that equals coercive control, someexamples of coercive control include:Controlling what someone eats, wears, or doesIsolating someone from their family or friendsControlling who they are allowed to see or spend time withPreventing access to support or counselingGaslightingMonitoring someone’s behavior (through their phone, apps,online or in person)Stalking/tracking someone’s movements (electronically or inperson)Controlling financesControlling access to childrenEmotionally or physically threatening or intimidatingThreatening to disclose private informationHumiliating or degrading the victimRepeatedly putting the victim downMaking the victim feel fearful or scared of non-complianceDomestic Violence Awareness MonthBy Kathryn Marsh, Prosecutor POVOctober is

Page 10

Authentic Insider | Page 10Recognizing the signs of coercive control areimportant. Knowing what to do in a coercive controlsituation is equally important. The first step is toacknowledge that you or a loved one is experiencingcoercive control. Second, prioritize safety. If you, aloved one, or a child are in immediate danger, call 911.Third, break the isolation and reach out: talk withtrusted friends and family, or a medical professionalabout the situation. Fourth, identify and seek helpfrom available resources. There are numerousdedicated hotlines available to provide immediateassistance. The National Domestic Violence Hotlinecan be contacted at 800.799.SAFE (7233) orthehotline.org. Fifth, seek legal advice. Find out youroptions for a protective order, custody, divorce orcriminal charges.Although the term coercive control was first coined in1982 by domestic violence activist Susan Schechter, itwasn’t until 2015 when the first statutes criminalizingcoercive control were passed. England and Wales werethe first countries to legislate against Coercive Controlmaking it a crime punishable up to five years. Irelandand Scotland followed suit in 2018, with Australiapassing laws expanding the definition of domesticviolence to include coercive control in 2022. Severalother countries have introduced offenses againstpsychological violence or coercive control includingDenmark, France, Hungary, and Spain.As of June 2024, there are now seven states in theUnited States that have passed laws against coercivecontrol. Massachusetts joined California, Connecticut,Colorado, Hawaii, Washington (state) and New Jerseywhich all have passed laws defining coercive control as aform of domestic violence in the past five years.Massachusetts defines coercive control as “a pattern ofbehavior intended to threaten, intimidate, harass, isolate,control, coerce or compel compliance of a family orhousehold member that causes the family or householdmember to fear physical harm or have a reduced senseof physical safety or autonomy.” It specifically listsseveral coercive control tactics including isolation;threatening to harm a child, family member or pet;intentionally damaging property; threatening to releasesensitive images or information, and more. In addition,to these criminal statutes, ten other states and theDistrict of Columbia have laws that address coercivecontrol behavior, often in the context of family law orprotective orders; while Maryland, South Carolina andNew York all have proposals for legislative changes torecognize coercive control.Coercive control canbe difficult torecognize because thetactics used can besubtle and escalateslowly.Want to learn more about coercive control? Check out:endcoercivecontrolusa.comCoercive Control in Intimate Partner Violence: Relationshipwith Women’s Experience of Violence,Use of Violence, and Danger -https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6291212/https://dvnconnect.org/coercive-control-dvn/

Page 11

Page 12

Page 13

Page 14

Through TAR Anon, I was able todig deep into my untreatedCPTSD and understand moreabout my addictions to opioidsand other drugs. Through TAR Anon, I gainedvaluable insights into myalcohol addiction. Thank you somuch for offering theseamazing meetings!TAR Anon was key in freeing mefrom narcissistic abuse.ToxicAbusive Relationships candestroy you! But TAR Anonhelped me break free!ITAI S.ROB W. ANNA L.GABRIELE Y.TAR Anon provided a safe andanonymous space that wasessential in my recovery. Ithelped me realize my addictionissues stemmed fromchildhood.Powered by:taranon.org contact@tarnetwork.orgFree TAR Anon MeetingsWhy Is TAR Anon™ for you?Our STAR LIGHTS Will Tell You Why RelationshipsParental AlienationToxic FamiliesToxic Worksites

Page 15

Discovering healing and growth in ourchildren's big feelingsWritten By Tina Hamilton, Founder of The Healing Parent, Parenting POVThe Unexpected Teacher: “Are you OK, sweetheart?” I asked.“I’m fine,” she mumbled.I knew she wasn’t fine, but I also knew thatshe needed her space to process before sheshared. So I left it alone and we drove therest of the way in silence.As we pulled onto campus, she burst intotears. Hysterics. Hyperventilating. I parked the car and turned to her in my seatand reached out my hand. She held it andsobbed.I sat quietly with her as she worked throughthe emotional wave. I held the space for herto feel all of her feelings, careful to not rushher. Even though the time on the clock wasticking up.Even though the bell rang and she was nowlate for class.Authentic Insider | Page 15“I don’t know why I’m crying,” mydaughter sobbed from the backseat.We just pulled onto campus. It wasthe first day of the first full week ofschool. Exhausted already fromthe new routine, she was at abreaking point.I could sense the impendingbreakdown on our hour-longdrive to school.

Page 16

Even though I had to rush the hour home toget her brother to school.Even though my chest was starting totighten. My breathing was quickening.My heart was starting to race.“How can I support you right now,sweetheart?” I asked gently.“I’m ok, mama. I’m ready to go in,” she saidas she gathered her things and climbed intothe front seat.“Thanks,” she said, leaning over to give me ahug. “I just needed to cry.”The Power of Presence: Holding Space forEmotionsI watched her from the parking lot as sheclimbed the stairs to the school, waiting forher to disappear behind the doors.As I did, I felt two things: immense pride andintense anger.As a mama who has been on a healingjourney since that same little girl was only 3years old, I marveled at how far I had come.In fact, my journey began on a morning whenshe was having big feelings and I shouted ather to make her stop crying and listen so Icould get to work on time. And here we were,8 years later, and I was able to hold thespace for her emotions. I was able to sit withher in her pain, give her the space to feelwhat she needed to feel, and support her asshe moved through it.And yet…I was angry. Raging.Unmasking Anger: Understanding OurProtective PartsI rage-sang the entire hour home, releasingguttural roars between stanzas and songs.Why was I so angry? I wondered to myselfafter about 45-minutes of shouting throughangry music.As a mama who hasbeen on a healingjourney since thatsame little girl wasonly 3 years old, Imarveled at how far Ihad come.Authentic Insider | Page 16

Page 17

Authentic Insider | Page 16I wasn’t angry at my daughter. I wasn’t angrythat I had to rush home (in fact, I was goingto get home with 30 minutes to spare beforemy son had to be at school). In fact, I soon realized, I wasn’t even angry.There’s a theory in Internal Family Systems(IFS) therapy that we are composed of“parts.” There are protective parts andwounded parts, and by understanding theseparts, we can heal ourselves.This situation with my daughter triggered aprotective part of myself, the part thatattempts to keep me safe by trying to shutdown any show of emotion.Why?Because when I was younger, it wasn’t safeto feel.When History Repeats: Recognizing OurTriggers“If you want something to cry about, I’ll giveyou something.”“Go to your room until you calm down.”“I don’t have time for this. Suck it up.”“Stop crying. You’re a big girl now.”I learned very early on that crying wasunacceptable, that emotions were a waste oftime, and that we had more important thingsto do than to feel. The only way through lifewas to stuff down the feelings and power on.So it is no surprise (now) that when mydaughter was experiencing her big emotionsthat morning nearly a decade ago, and againjust a few weeks ago, that my protector partcame rushing in. My protector part neededto shut down her emotion because feeling anemotion is unsafe. It will make us late. It willmake mom yell. It will cause more problems.Eight years into my journey, I was able tohold that protective part off while mydaughter moved through her emotionalexperience that morning, but I still didn’tfeel safe in my body.I was still triggered by her emotions.My protector partneeded to shut down heremotion because feelingan emotion is unsafe. Itwill make us late. It willmake mom yell. It willcause more problems.Authentic Insider | Page 17

Page 18

Authentic Insider | Page 16Bringing awareness to this response to heremotional experience is allowing me to workwith this protective part. To sit with it, allowit space to feel, to express, and to show methe ways in which I have more healing to do.The Path to Healing: Honoring OurEmotional ExperiencesThe lesson in this for all of us is about ourown emotional awareness. In what ways areyou allowing yourself an emotionalexperience, and in what ways do youattempt to shut yourself down? In what waysdo you shame yourself for feeling, and inwhat ways do you honor your experiences? The more awareness you build around yourown emotional response and experience, themore you’ll be able to lean into the messagesthat your inner wounded self has for you.Your emotional experience acts as a guide,showing you the spaces where you harborpain. Are you listening?Ready to dive deeper into your emotionallandscape and unlock your inner wisdom?Our meditation library is designed to helpyou reconnect with your true self, hear themessages of your wounded and protectiveparts, and guide you on your healing journey.These meditations will empower you to trustyour inner knowing and find the strength tonavigate life's challenges with grace andauthenticity. Start your journey today with afree week of access to our transformativemeditation library. Your path to emotionalfreedom and self-trust begins here.Authentic Insider | Page 18

Page 19

Page 20

Page 21

I often say that mental health disorders do notdiscriminate. Such challenges may creep up at any point inlife. My personal battle with anxiety, mentally andphysically, began in my twenties; however, the truth ofwhen anxiety entered my life was as a child. My exposureinvolved a beautiful, loving, strong, involved, and mostinfluential woman in my life… my mother. For me, shewas honest in sharing with me things she foundchallenging, such as sitting inside an overcrowdedgymnasium at a high school. With that, I knew it wouldtake every ounce of her being to step inside that situationand would do anything to mentally prepare herself tomake it happen. At that time, all I knew was of the word“anxiety” and never saw what an attack looked like orentailed. Anxiety in my mind was defined as feeling overlyanxious and overwhelmed that may ultimately preventyou from doing something you intended. Lucky for me,I would look up from a cheerleading competition into thestands and see my mom smiling and waving so proudlywith pure joy, and my heart would radiate in being in aweof her strength. Those moments are what drive me to thisday to push further than my mind will sometimes notagree with. What my mother modeled for me was hownever to let anxiety stop me from doing something youlove or aspire to be. I also realized at an early age thatanxiety does not mean a person is weak. Sadly, mymother passed away from cancer before I turned 30 yearsold and not a day goes by that I do not envision herperseverance in overcoming similar battles I now face. Ihave learned that my mental health struggles do notdefine the type of person I am, just as the worldremembers my mom to be such an impactful woman in somany ways. Written by: Jill-Lynnette Piazza, Author of Belly RiseAuthentic Insider | Page 21

Page 22

My diagnosis was difficult to accept, yet was notsurprising due to my genetics. With the example set bymy mother, I knew that I would not let anxiety preventme from reaching any dream I set out to accomplish.However, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Since I wasmore aware of the world, I immediately created anadditional stressor for myself; I lived in silence. Backthen, the stigma of mental health disorders was worse.Discrimination, judgement, shame, embarrassment,and intense concern of losing what I worked so hard toattain just sat in my gut. To this day, I know living insilence created a negative impact that I am certainmade my anxiety more difficult to manage. I know thiscontinues to be a hurdle for people with mental healthdisorders, even myself, keeping some things in my ownvault; but I am hoping that with the increase in mentalhealth education the stigma will continue to dissipate. My passion in life, along with being a mother, wife,former elementary education teacher, and newlypublished children’s author is to now help advocate formental health awareness with a focus on children.After over a decade of being an educator I foundmyself in an unfortunate situation and the stressincreased my anxiety which then created a dominoeffect into other health challenges for me. With that, Ifaced my fear of change and decided to take a stepaway from my career. The “What Ifs?...;” anxiety’sfavorite question of that decision built up in my mindon loop with no reprieve. However, it has been a trueblessing in disguise I couldn’t foresee.The “What Ifs?...;” anxiety’sfavorite question of thatdecision built up in my mind onloop with no reprieve. However,it has been a true blessing indisguise I couldn’t foresee.Over time, I have realized there is no road map for myjourney with anxiety. It requires understanding my ownbody and mind. I know when to take mental breaks andhow to walk away from toxicity. I have learned that theworries in my head often will not occur and that an attackwill pass with strategies I implement. The best thing I donow is set boundaries, regardless of what I assume othersthink. It is my commitment to therapy, managingmedication, walking, sunshine, guided meditation, and myloving support system that understand my illness is nodifferent than a physical one.Through finding my voice, I recently published a booktitled, Belly Rise for an audience I felt most effective inconnecting with and supporting…children. It focuses on aboy who shares his anxious moments and ways he copes.For parents and educators, there are discussion questionsthat I have already seen initiate impactful and insightfulconversations. I have returned to theAuthentic Insider | Page 22

Page 23

classroom reading Belly Rise to school-agedchildren and teaching about anxiety. Children areeager and engaged in sharing their experienceswith anxious moments and how they overcomethem or even calm themselves. I believe, just likemy mother showed me, that learning at an earlyage what anxiety is, feels like and ways to copewith it will enhance their future, just as it hasmine. I could not fathom a child feeling alone andscared as I did as an adult. Especially after thepandemic, where children’s anxiety has enteredthe forefront of their minds, guidance is key.Learning coping skills and when it is time to askan adult for help is a necessity that could make orbreak a situation. Today, children are aware ofpotential danger surrounding them and havemore access to social media; adult topics ofwhat’s happening in our world. For caregivers,education is important and can do so byresearching or contacting professionals. Reachingout to schools to attain resources is also aneffective option.Moving forward, I will continue to follow in my mothers’ footstepsof helping to encourage open-communication and education forchildren. Grasping deeper understanding of themselves canenhance possibilities of passing along their knowledge from onegeneration to another; just as my passion is guiding me to do withmy own journey in life living with anxiety. Authentic Insider | Page 23

Page 24

Page 25

Now is the time to activate one’s senses. We arenot limited by the five (5) primary senses (sight,hearing, taste, touch and smell). We can addinteroception (awareness of how our body isresponding to situations through heart rate andpain among other variables) and proprioception(awareness of our body’s movement in space) tothat list. Once we start using our senses, we can re-regulate our mind and our bodies, improving oursense of wellness (both physically andpsychologically). Light a candle; take a walk innature; do balance exercises; eat new foods orcomfort foods; touch soft fabrics or the hands ofanother person. These all help us center ourselves. Creativity is in high demand now. There are lotsof ways to create, although many people note thatthey cannot even draw a stick figure as if thatmeans they are not creative types. Creativity can ofcourse be developed through visual arts likepainting and collage. For me personally, the visualarts have been an active source of pleasure andpeace-making during and after the Pandemic andsome of my art is included here in this brief article.But, and this is important, we can create and becreative in a myriad of ways: we can make music; wecan choreograph dances; we can problem-solve innew ways; we can do pottery; we can garden; we cansew or knit; we can try new sports strategies.Creativity, once we want and seek out its presence,can enable us to move forward. By any measure, we live in troubling times. Fromnatural disasters of a wide ranging sort to politicalupheaval to shootings in once protected spaces toprolonged health issues, we are facing challenges.And, add to this that the level of interpersonalmeanness has risen; it is most noticeable in stores andschools, among other places.In a new book, Dr. Edward KS Wang and I identifypositives (yes, actually positives) that occurred duringthe Pandemic that can help us navigate forward inways that improve our mental wellness. TitledMending Education: Finding Hope, Creativity andMental Wellness in Times of Trauma (Teachers CollegePress, Sept. 2024), this book enables us to convert thenegative narratives about the Pandemic to a vastlymore positive mindset, allowing us to see what thePandemic taught us that we can apply to our day-to-day lives post-Covid. Bottom line: a crisis createdopportunity for creative solutions to difficultproblems.For those of us within schools, our new book providesconcrete suggestions. But, and this is key, many of thesuggestions are transportable into other areas of ourprofessional and personal lives. So, while the book isfocused on education from preK through adulthood,there are lessons within it that can facilitate ournavigating our difficult, trauma filled world. Written By Karen Gross, Trauma Educator,Author of newly released book, Mending Education: Finding Hope, Creativityand Mental Wellness in Times of TraumaAuthentic Insider | Page 25Here are three suggestions, drawn from the book,that I hope will help readers. These are all groundedin theory and in-the-trenches practices to ensurethat they are relevant, implementable andproductive.

Page 26

Hope is a belief that allows us to envision a betterfuture. Often referenced as a positive mindset,hope is how we are able to move forward even inthe face of adversity. Hope allows us to overcomehurdles and address dilemmas. Hope is essential toour wellness. We know this from a myriad of studies;if one has a negative bias (commonplace actually),that affects how we manage each day and theincidents within that day. Consider this idea: if youare struggling to find “light,” then for every negativeemotion you express out loud or to yourself, coupleit with a positive emotion. It helps. And, look at thissentence: Doubt curbs confidence. We normallyread that sentence in English from left to right. Nowread it in reverse. It has a different feel to it. Insteadof the negative focus on doubt, it allows for a focuson confidence.In the coming month, the tensions in our world areunlikely to ease. We have wars that need to besettled. We have impending elections. We havediscrimination and negativity at each turn. I hopeyou will try the just identified three suggestions. Letme know if they work for you. Try them more thanonce. Try them with others. Try them in the privacyof one’s own mind. I know they can help.Art by Karen GrossAuthentic Insider | Page 26A CRISIS CREATEDOPPORTUNITY FORCREATIVE SOLUTIONS TO DIFFICULT PROBLEMS.Bottom Line:

Page 27

Page 28

Authentic Insider | Page 29Eleven years old, sexual abuse became part ofmy life. The occasional light touches from theex-boyfriend of my mother on my body broughta deep trauma within me. I would not be awareof its impact until I would start my healingjourney in my thirties. After leaving my homecountry, France, in my early twenties, I thought Ihad left my past behind. But it caught up withme when, at 28, I ended a yearlong toxicrelationship. It took me four years to recover,but it triggered the need to understand why Ihad allowed this man to treat me that way.Exhausted, I noticed many similarities to thesexual abuse I had experienced. The first step I took was to seek counseling andfollow mainstream therapies, but I rapidlyunderstood it was not for me. The therapists Ichose were either unhelpful or unprofessionaland as much as it felt a waste of time, yearslater, it was clear I had been guided to choose analternative path that would give me answers.Some of my questions were “why me? Whydid I have damaging relationships withmen and why did I experience sexual abusewhile others never did? What was differentabout me? Nature was so well organized,why trauma was considered randomleaving me powerless? I traveled to Peru to take Ayahuasca. Ijumped on a plane to meet this shaman inArequipa who had been recommended bya friend. The plant didn’t fix all my issuesbut opened doors I couldn’t alone. Foryears, I didn’t know who I was. Stuck inbetween worlds, I could not grow intobecoming a woman. Ashamed to even usethe word to describe myself, theWritten By: Jenny BriardAuthentic Insider | Page 28with psychedelicsGenerational cyclesTH I S A RT I CL E C O NT A IN S E XPE RIE NCE S O FSE X UA L A B US E . P LE A SE RE AD WIT H C AREAN D I F Y O U F IN D Y O UR S EL F T RIG GER EDPL E AS E S E EK HE L P O R C ON TAC T NAT IONAL SEXU AL AS SAULT HOTL INE 1-8 00-65 6-467 3T R I G G E R W A R N I N G

Page 29

Ayahuasca healed this part of me in such aprofound way. I felt pride, joy, andcelebrated this gentle rite of passage. I feltas a woman in my entire being. The plant also did something else for me. Iwas in my thirties and had never had anorgasm whether on my own or from a sexualrelationship. Deeply disconnected from mybody, the shame that had built over theyears prevented me to even look below andbe curious about what was under my belt.Unable to express what I enjoyed sexuallybecause I didn’t know, I was not capable toreceive pleasure. Awkward to even thinkabout what I could enjoy, my sexual life wasbland, but I wanted more. I refused for mypast to control my life and prevent me toenjoy my own body. It was mine and I neededto take it back. The Ayahuasca led me to discover my ownbody to reach an orgasm for the first time.She didn’t solve everything, but she openeda door, and it was up to me to continue thework to heal and grow. The world of energyhealing opened to me, and I continued mypath to Brazil in a healing centre. Idiscovered family constellation therapy inFrance, and witnessed how deep I could heal,but it required for me to meet the darkestpart of myself including the rage that tookover me so many times.After years of searching for answers, familyconstellation shed the light ontransgenerational trauma. It showedhow traumatic experiences could be passeddown from a generation to the next within afamily, even skipping some generations attimes and affecting certain members only. Ididn’t find the connection yet to sexualtrauma in mine, but my cousin and I wereaffected which showed a pattern. It wassomething small but enough to knowsomething had happened in our ancestor’slineage. Then I thought about what I couldpass on to my children who at that time didn’texist but were deeply desired. It was out ofquestions they would follow my path. Itbecame part of my work to identify repeatedtraumas in dysfunctional families and I haveseen a lot of sexual ones repeated throughtwo, sometimes three or more generations.If the pain, the buried emotions, the atrocitiesthat happened before and there are manyamongst the ones we know and the ones wedon’t, are not healed, they will be passed onuntil someone sees it and often repeats it.I was not destined to repeatsexual trauma, pass it on tomy daughter and thegenerations to come. I couldchange the outcome and thatwas valid for any traumas. Authentic Insider | Page 29

Page 30

Authentic Insider | Page 30From an energy point of view, this is how we“attract” perpetrators in our life and repeatpatterns. When we carry the stories of victims, weare already a target to become one. This can bechanged. I was not destined to repeat sexualtrauma, pass it on to my daughter and thegenerations to come. I could change the outcomeand that is valid for any traumas. This revelationunlocked something in me and gave me most ofthe answers I had been looking for. Trauma wasnot random. It was not because I was different. Iwas not powerless anymore because Icould change things. By releasing my past, andmy ancestor’s past, my life was not left to arandom destiny of pain and fear. I becamepassionate about those hidden dynamics thatneed to be released because they affectus on a such deep level without our knowledge. Istrongly believe that we can end sexual trauma orany other traumas if we release these patterns,these memories from each one of us whether weare perpetrator or victim, because manyperpetrators have often been victim first.By releasing my past, andmy ancestor’s past, my lifewas not left to a randomdestiny of pain and fear.

Page 31

Page 32

Page 33

Page 34

Authentic Insider | Page 34The journey to true healing begins not withexternal changes, but by addressing thedeep wounds within. For many, thesewounds come from Toxic AbusiveRelationships (TAR) that leave behindemotional scars, manifesting as complexpost-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).Healing requires that we look inward, re-parenting our wounded inner child andembracing our path from victimhood tosurvivor. This is the mission of STARNetwork—formerly the TAR Network—dedicated to helping survivors reclaim theirlives through CPTSD recovery andemotional self-regulation.Re-parenting and Healing from CPTSDRe-parenting is a transformative practice inwhich we provide care, love, and validationto our inner child, which may have beenmissing in childhood. This process helpsbuild emotional self-regulation, allowing usto heal from past trauma and establishhealthier relationships. Re-parenting isn’tjust about soothing old wounds—it’s aboutcreating a solid emotional foundation for ahealthier future, one that allows us to breakfree from toxic cycles.But what happens when CPTSD goes untreated,and how does it connect to Toxic AbusiveRelationships? Let’s consider the story ofsomeone grappling with untreated CPTSD:Imagine a woman named Lisa, who, in her adultrelationships, often feels a deep sense ofabandonment and emotional chaos. Even inseemingly calm moments, she experiencesintense anxiety that her partner will leave her orbetray her. When conflict arises, she becomesoverwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness, rage,or utter despair. She may engage in self-sabotage, accusing her partner of things theyhaven’t done or withdrawing into silence for fearof rejection.Lisa grew up in a household where her emotionalneeds were ignored. Her parents wereemotionally unavailable, sometimes abusive, andoften criticized or belittled her. Over time, shelearned to suppress her feelings and developedsurvival mechanisms—people-pleasing,hypervigilance, and an overwhelming fear ofabandonment. These survival strategies, whichserved her in childhood, have now become apattern in her adult life, making it nearlyimpossible for her to maintain healthyrelationships. How STAR NetworkHelps Re-parentOurselves and Recoverfrom CPTSDBy Mila Koljensic, STAR Network

Page 35

Authentic Insider | Page 35Unaware that her childhood trauma is at theroot of her reactions, Lisa continually findsherself in toxic relationships. She oftenattracts partners who exhibit narcissistictraits—emotionally unavailable, manipulativeindividuals who seem to validate her worstfears. Her untreated CPTSD keeps hertrapped in these abusive cycles, as sheunconsciously seeks out the same emotionaldynamics she endured as a child, hoping, thistime, things will be different.This is where STAR Network’s missionbecomes vital. Untreated CPTSD can keep usin a loop of toxic relationships, where wecontinually replay unresolved traumas.Without addressing the core issues—healingthe inner child and breaking the patterns—weremain stuck in a cycle of emotional damage.The Evolution of STAR Network: EmpoweringSurvivorsSTAR Network is designed to help people likeLisa break free from these cycles. Byfocusing on healing the wounds of CPTSDand providing tools to rebuild emotionalresilience, STAR Network empowerssurvivors to reclaim their lives. Thefoundation’s motto is clear:You Are Not a Victim—You’re a STAR!This transformation from victim to survivoris the heart of STAR Network’s mission. TheSTAR in the logo represents the brokenheart caused by toxic relationships, whilethe golden stitches that hold it togethersymbolize the process of healing andrediscovering one’s authenticity.By offering a space for survivors to heal,STAR Network serves as a beacon of hopeand resilience for those who’ve enduredtoxic abuse. At the core of STAR Network’soffering is TAR Anon™, a global fellowshipwhere survivors can share theirexperiences, strength, and hope. It is aspace dedicated to healing from theemotional trauma caused by toxicrelationships and offers a research-basedrecovery program with Steps, Promises, andtrained TAR Mentors.TAR Anon: Healing Through CommunityTAR Anon provides survivors a neuro-safeenvironment where they can work throughtheir trauma and build self-love. It is theonly fellowship specifically designed to helpsurvivors recover from the emotionalbattlefield of narcissistic abuse and CPTSD.Lisa, for instance, could find solace andsupport in the TAR Anon meetings. Throughthis community, she would be able toconnect with others who share similarexperiences, gaining insight into how herchildhood trauma shaped her relationshipdynamics. Untreated CPTSD cankeep us in a loop of toxicrelationships, where wecontinually replayunresolved traumas.

Page 36

Authentic Insider | Page 36TAR Anon’s emphasis on emotional self-regulation would provide Lisa with tools tomanage her overwhelming emotions and helpher break free from her toxic patterns.TAR Anon free virtual meetings are held everyMonday and Wednesday at 6 PM EDT.Monday meetings are open to anyoneaffected by Toxic Abusive Relationships, andWednesday meetings are more family-oriented, focusing on individuals who cannoteasily go “no contact” with toxic people—suchas caregivers, parents, or siblings.By participating in these meetings, survivorsare given the space to heal and build healthierconnections while learning to protect theirrecovery from relapses. We encourage you tojoin both meetings and connect with thecommunity and start your healing process. Turning Scars into STARs: A Messagefrom Dr. JamieThrough STAR Network, in collaborationwith the CPTSD Foundation, survivors aregiven the support they need to turnchildhood mirages of love and safety intoreal oases of healing. STAR Networkprotects recoveries from relapses, helpsbuild emotional self-regulation plans, andencourages the development of healthierrelationships and families of choice.STAR Network is here to guide you on yourjourney of healing, to help you mend yourbroken heart, and to empower you to moveforward as a Survivor. By looking within,reparenting yourself, and addressing yourCPTSD, you can break free from toxic cyclesand step into a future filled with health,strength, and authenticity.As we say to each other on this healingjourney… Stay Gold, STAR, Stay Gold!If you or your organization wants to be partof this global effort to support Survivors ofToxic Abusive Relationships, contact us atcontact@tarnetwork.org. Together, we willhelp you move from victim to STAR anduncover the strength that’s been inside youall along. To join our free support meetingsplease go to www.taranon.org. "Turning our scars into STARsis about finding the brilliancethat trauma once dimmed. It’srealizing that our pain does notdefine us but by our power toheal and grow. Each STAR inthis community reflects thestrength it takes to reclaim ourlives and embrace ourauthentic selves."- Dr. Jamie Huysman,Executive Director andFounder of STAR Network.

Page 37

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed Psychedelic Assisted Therapy https://moxieschool.com/the-art-of-transformation/www.moxieschool.comheather@moxieschool.comConnect: The IFS Model (Internal Family Systems) is one of the fastest growing and most popularinterventions for working with psychedelics. Why? Because it's such a natural and effectivepairing for the material that expanded states naturally elicit. Fast track your opportunity to learn IFS by joining The Moxie School in this wildly exciting niche! If you want to learn IFS as it applies to expanded states, The Art of Transformation courseteaches effective methods to deeply anchor transformation in your clients. No matter whatstage of the process you are working: preparation, guiding, or integration, an IFS Informedapproach is key to supporting your clients in lasting transformational change. Lots of courses teach “about” psychedelic assisted therapy, this course teaches you the “how to” of doing interventions throughout psychedelic transformational work.Whether you are a therapist, coach, or guide - a medical professional, mental healthprofessional, or a mid-life career transition person - you are welcome! Bring your curiosity for IFS and your love for working with expanded states!LEARN MORETHE ART OFTRANSFORMAIONAll the detailsAuthentic Insider | Page 37

Page 38

Page 39

Page 40

As the mental health crisis reaches devastating levels post pandemic, more and more people arelooking for ways to manage their mental health. How does a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a veteran struggling with PTSD and an athletesuffering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), trauma, and addiction find effective healing andrelief? Psychedelics. A treatment that was studied and used as effective treatment for mental health disorders until itwas banned and categorized as a schedule I drug in the 1970s, psychedelics have providedmuch needed relief for thousands of people suffering from trauma and mental health issues.Regardless of the laws banning these treatments, the people who understood the power of thesemedicines feel more empowered to find ways to help others find healing through them. On thefollowing page click on the graphic to view the Proof of Concept for "Our Own PersonalRealities." An Upcoming Documentary about the Fight toBring Psychedelic Healing Back into the LightAuthentic Insider | Page 40

Page 41

Page 42

Page 43

Page 44

“Earned It” by The Weeknd“Something” by The Beatles“Unchained Melody” by Righteous Brothers“Halo” by Beyonce“Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney“(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin“At Last” by Etta James“Always and Forever” by Luther Vandross“I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz“Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran“Your Song” by Elton John“Can’t Take My Eyes off You” by Frankie Valli “Sweet Creature” by Harry Styles“Favorite Kind of High” by Kelly ClarksonFALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE When I think of Fall, I think ofCrisp Air, Pumpkin Patches andcomfy sweaters. It’s the inbetween the sweltering Summerand the Frigid temps of Winter.Embrace the ease with nearlyperfect weather with some easylistening and remind yourselfwith what’s good in life. Enjoy the tunes!Fall in LOVE with LIFE PlaylistFall in LOVE with LIFE PlaylistMUSICMUSICMUSICMUSIC

Page 45

Authentic Insider | Page 45I can feel so nervous, like butterflies are literally inside my belly!Sometimes, I even feel nauseous or dizzy. Do you ever feel this waytoo? Well, you’re in luck! I can help you with your belly-risemoments and show you how I stop them from happening.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Tired of telling your child not to shout or kick things when they are angry?Then this book is the perfect solution for you! When children are angry, theycan manifest their anger through bad behavior. They might shout, cry, throwthings and roll on the floor or all of these things combined. That's why mostparents need help managing their kids emotions and feelings. Even if youhave tried everything, this book is perfect for gaining a deeper understandingof children anger management and how to help kids control their emotions.We highly recommend it to parents.Many children who grow up in households that are dysfunctional tend to have anidentity of them being misunderstood. They feel like no one understands themand that people judge them unfairly. Children are just trying to be loved, accepted,and like for who they truly are.In the short story Mary represents a child that everyone misunderstands all thetime and they take her for granted. Mary does find it difficult to move past thejudgments of others.She later accepts that she is different, unique , and special in her own right. Andremembers that she does not have to grow up to live her life for no one but God.

Page 46

Your Pain will make you successful. A guide to living your best life afterdealing with mental, emotional and psychological pain. Is a self help book forpeople who want to take their power back after challenges, struggles andhardships in their life!In this book you will read about how to overcome pain to be successful on thejourney called life. Narcissist abuse coach and mentor. Joy Larkin has 15chapters of informative, real life stories, genuine advice, and easy self helptoolsDiscover how the crisis of a global pandemic allowed educators to improvelearning across the pre–K–adult pipeline. While acknowledging the scale ofloss and difficulty the COVID pandemic engendered within the field ofeducation, this book focuses on how sudden and forced changes to teachingand learning created “Pandemic Positives,” which can be captured andbrought to scale. In particular: Part I addresses how Pandemic Positivescame into being, with special attention to the presence of educator hope andcreativity. Part II explores the Pandemic Positives that arose in threesettings: when schools were closed, when learning turned online, and whenschools re-opened. Part III provides strategies for replicating the PandemicPositives so they become positive educational game changers. In the overheated debate about immigration, we often lose sight of thehumanity at the heart of this complex issue. The immigrants and refugeesliving precariously in the United States are mothers and fathers, children,neighbors, and friends. Individuals propelled by hope and fear, they gambletheir lives on the promise of America, yet their voices are rarely heard.This anthology of essays, poetry, and art seeks to shift the immigrationdebate—now shaped by rancorous stereotypes and xenophobia—towardsone rooted in humanity and justice. *I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 46Mental Health Books (for adults)

Page 47

For the month of October, I see that someone could be going on a honeymoon or many couldbe preparing for travel for the holidays coming up. For singles, you may feel like you will bealone forever. However, don’t give up hope. Keep positive and know that the right personwill come to you at the right time. Singles, Don't go looking for love. Remember to focus onbeing the best version of yourself and let love find you. Many of you will be calling in yoursoulmate. Have faith. Couples, you might be questioning if you are with your soul mate. I’mconfidant that you are.Many could be reaching out and asking friends for help about a relationship. Just make surethe friends are genuine and don’t have bad intentions. I do feel that there is an engagementthat could be happening during this period of time. But be careful of who is around you.There could be people that are being manipulative and trying to control a situation.Someone could be mad and depressed at this time, while others are starting a newbeginning. Remember, working on yourself is the best way to keep the faith and find hope inchallenging times.I see in the cards that many have made a final decision about something in your life. In thatway people, places, and things are being cut out. Set boundaries with people who no longerserve your highest good. There are few people who want to grow, and manifest abundanceand I see it coming into your life. I see that there could be many of you who are expecting achild. So congrats on that. In finances and careers, a lot of people are waiting to do the things that they love. Othersmay want to quit their dead end jobs and pursue careers that interest them. Take time andbe smart about it. Seek support and help from those you trust.Overall I see October being a great month. Just be on the lookout for people who could beworking against you. About JoyAbout JoyJoy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it herlife's work to help others throughlife coaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coachingservices from Joy and/or getyour own personal reading,please scan the barcode belowwith your smartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page 44