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AIM October 2023

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October 2023HEALING 1K WOMENOne person’s healing can set off a dominoeffect of healing. Donna Piper discusses hergoal of healing 1K women.DOMESTIC VIOLENCEAWARENESS MONTHThe story of Domestic Violence is all toocommon but how can we recognize thesigns. Find out in our Prosecutor’s POV.InsiderAGING & ACCEPTANCESelf-acceptance tends to come withage, but it doesn’t have to. TraumaEducator Karen Gross unpacks the idea.DepressionAwareness Month

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AlwaysDear Readers, October is Depression Awareness Month and Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month. We begin with Acknowledgements of the signsand symptoms of Depression from the World Health Organizationfollowed by a piece from contributor Barbara Huelat, AAHID,FASID, EDAC, about the high rate of depression in caregivers.Focusing on Domestic Violence Awareness, our Prosecutor’s POVcontributor Kathryn Marsh discusses Intimate Partner Violence andthe signs to look for.One person’s recovery can set off a domino effect of healing.Contributor Donna Piper discusses her goal of healing 1K women.Trauma Educator Karen Gross shares her piece about aging andself-acceptance and why self acceptance doesn’t necessarily haveto come with age.And as in every issue, we have our monthly AIM Feel All the FeelsPlaylist, along with my picks for children and adult books aboutmental health. Plus, check out Joy Larkin's Twin Flame Readings tosee what's in store for you this month.Happy Reading!Lorilee BinstockAuthentic Insider | Page 02editor's noteLorilee BinstockEditor in Chief

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Monthly ContributorsMonthly ContributorsAuthentic Insider | Page 03Cali BinstockCreative DirectorJoy LarkinTwin Flame ReadingsKathryn MarshProsecutor POVDomestic Violence andIPV Awareness Lynn BinstockCopy Editor

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Barbara HuelatContributorDepression in CaregiversDonna PiperContributorHealing 1K WomenAuthentic Insider | Page 04CONTRIBUTORSKaren GrossContributorAging & Self-Acceptance

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Y O U RO C T O B E R 2 0 2 3I S S U EProsecutor's POV: Kathryn Marsh19 Domestic Violence Awareness34 AIM Playlist35 Recommended Books37 Joy's Twin Flame ReadingI N E V E R Y I S S U EAuthentic Insider | Page 05I N T H I S I S S U E22 Healling 1K Women09 Know the Signs of DepressionBy : Donna Piper22123012 Breaking the Silence: Depression AmongCaregiversBy: Barbara Huelat, AAHID/FASID/EDAC30 Aging & AcceptanceBy : Karen Gross

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Check out Binstock Media Group's Website traumasurvivorthriver.comGet the latest from A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast, AuthenticInside Magazine, Lorilee Binstock in the media, and the latest news.Visit Authentic Insider | Page 06

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Click forTickets

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Authentic Insider | Page 08 "Once you choose hope,anything is possible."—Christopher Reeve

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Know the Signs of Depression epressive disorder (also known as depression) is acommon mental disorder. It involves a depressed moodor loss of pleasure or interest in activities for longperiods of time.Depression is different from regular mood changes andfeelings about everyday life. It can affect all aspects oflife, including relationships with family, friends andcommunity. It can result from or lead to problems atschool and at work.Depression can happen to anyone. People who havelived through abuse, severe losses or other stressfulevents are more likely to develop depression. Womenare more likely to have depression than men.An estimated 3.8% of the population experiencedepression, including 5% of adults (4% among men and6% among women), and 5.7% of adults older than 60years. Approximately 280 million people in the worldhave depression (1). Depression is about 50% morecommon among women than among men. Worldwide,more than 10% of pregnant women and women whohave just given birth experience depression (2). Morethan 700 000 people die due to suicide every year.Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in 15–29-year-olds.Although there are known, effective treatments formental disorders, more than 75% of people in low- andmiddle-income countries receive no treatment (3).Barriers to effective care include a lack of investment inmental health care, lack of trained health-care providersand social stigma associated with mental disordersbehavioral activationcognitive behavioral therapyinterpersonal psychotherapyproblem-solving therapy.There are effective treatments for depression.These include psychological treatment andmedications. Seek care if you have symptoms ofdepression.Psychological treatments are the first treatmentsfor depression. They can be combined withantidepressant medications in moderate andsevere depression. Antidepressant medicationsare not needed for mild depression.Psychological treatments can teach new ways ofthinking, coping or relating to others. They mayinclude talk therapy with professionals andsupervised lay therapists. Talk therapy canhappen in person or online. Psychologicaltreatments may be accessed through self-helpmanuals, websites and apps. Effective psychological treatments fordepression include: poor concentrationfeelings of excessive guilt or low self-worthhopelessness about the futurethoughts about dying or suicidedisrupted sleepchanges in appetite or weightfeeling very tired or low in energy.During a depressive episode, a personexperiences a depressed mood (feeling sad,irritable, empty). They may feel a loss of pleasureor interest in activities.A depressive episode is different from regularmood fluctuations. They last most of the day,nearly every day, for at least two weeks.Other symptoms are also present, which mayinclude:For more information aboutDepression and where you can gethelp, visit the the World HealthOrganization’s websiteAuthentic Insider | Page 09D

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A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast is joining Mental Health News Radio Network

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Authentic Insider | Page 12By Barbara J. Huelat, AAHID/FASID/EDAC, President — Healing Design Human Centric Solutions aregivers are often seen as heroes in our culture,and rightly so. It’s challenging to find someonemore selfless, compassionate, and courageous thanthose who care for sick or aging loved ones.What we can fail to understand, however, is thatcaregivers are not invincible. In fact, in many cases,caregivers can become the second patient. Studiesshow that caregivers often neglect their own health,as they pour all of their energy into caring forothers.Depression is one of the leading health dangers forcaregivers, with a recent report finding that 20% ofcaregivers have symptoms of depression.According to figures provided by the World HealthOrganization, that is over five times the prevalenceof depression in the general culture.To make matters worse, many caregivers choose tobe silent about their depression. There are anumber of reasons for this — not the least of whichis the stigma surrounding mental health issues likedepression. Caregivers can also feel guilty aboutexpressing their own needs when those they arecaring for seem to have needs that are moreimportant.As the need for caregivers in the culture continuesto grow, it’s critical that those who choose that roleunderstand the danger of depression and the stepsthey should take to stay physically, mentally, andemotionally healthy.Factors leading to caregiver depressionCaregiver stress is chronic stress, which can beextremely dangerous because it is always there.Chronic stress experienced by caregivers is one ofthe main factors leading to depression. In mostcases, caregiving is a 24/7 commitment. Times forrelaxation or self-care are few and far between,meaning caregivers are continually on the verge ofphysical and emotional exhaustion.C

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This can be especially true for those caring for ourloved ones with dementia. Dementia, which hasmany causes and no cure, impairs the patient’sability to communicate, follow instructions, andmanage simple tasks. As a result, they tend to pushthe limits of caregivers’ patience andunderstanding. Extended periods of stress affect the body’sbiology, causing an imbalance in the chemicals thatbalance moods. Stress can also cause us to focuson the negative aspects of our situation, leading tofeelings of hopelessness.Isolation is another factor that can lead todepression in caregivers, as the demands placedupon the caregiver leave little time for socializingwith friends and family. Even when caregivers canget away, they may be reluctant to talk about theirstruggles due to feeling that those in their socialcircles wouldn’t understand.Social support is key to preventing depression.Family and friends can often see potential problemsbefore the caregiver. Without a support system,caregivers are often left to ruminate over negativeand depressing thoughts. The isolation of caregivingcan also lead to social withdrawal, which is anothertrigger for depression.I have found the financial burdens placed oncaregivers can also be a very practical factor thatcontributes to depression. I know many caregiverswho were forced to give up jobs or reduce workhours as they became more absorbed in caregiving.This can add a huge burden to an already stressfullife, in turn creating a lack of stability, a loss ofautonomy, and strained relationships, all of whichcan trigger caregiver depression.Steps for preventing caregiver depressionKnowledge is power for the caregiver. Preventing orovercoming depression requires an ongoingeducation process, starting as you begin to considerstepping into the role and continuing for as long asyou are a caregiver.One of the first steps is understanding the factorsthat can lead to depression. In addition to thosementioned above, grief, unrealistic expectations,and the feeling that you have lost control of yourlife are factors that can trigger depression. Rolereversal — such as a child becoming a caregiver fora parent — and the role confusion that stems from itare also factors that can lead to depression.For example, during a road trip with my mother,who was battling dementia, a distressing situationunfolded. She suddenly became convinced that Iwas not taking her back home, causing considerabledistress. In an attempt to de-escalate the situation,I pulled over to soothe her. However, sheunexpectedly removed her seatbelt, exited the carand began running through the truck stop. In aAuthentic Insider | Page 13Stress can also cause usto focus on the negativeaspects of our situation,leading to feelings ofhopelessness.

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Authentic Insider | Page 14rush of concern, I had no choice but to chase afterher and with great reluctance, use physical force toguide her back to the car. It was an agonizingmoment for me, and I couldn’t help but feel anoverwhelming sense of guilt for having to resort tosuch measures in order to ensure her safety. Thisincident is a poignant illustration of the reversal ofparent-child roles that can occur when caring for aloved one with dementia. It is critical to learn about the signs of depressionwhile you are still well. Many of us don't realize thetoll of caregiver stress takes on us until we are wellinto caregiving and become overwhelmed andseverely depressed. Watch for signs like low energy,changes in appetite, social withdrawal, sleepdisturbances, irritability, and persistent anxiety orsadness. Listen to family and friends when they ask, “Areyou taking care of yourself?” Be attentive to thesesymptoms as soon as possible so you can keep itsimpact to a minimum.Empower yourself on your loved one’s disease,symptoms, and triggers. This can also help caregiversdifferentiate the disease from the person, which is a veryimportant step toward healthy caregiving. It helps thecaregiver have patience during stressful events and toavoid seeing problematic behavior as personal attacks.As someone who cared for my late husband withAlzheimer's disease, I went through a journey where Ididn't initially grasp the full extent of his illness. Attimes, I mistook his disruptive behaviors and whatseemed like acts of meanness as deliberate actions,rather than realizing they were symptoms of his struggleto communicate his basic needs. It was this ongoingprocess of education that helped me navigate theemotional terrain. This knowledge gradually grew into aresilient shield against the darkness of depression. Overall, caregivers must make space in their schedule tocare for themselves, physically and emotionally, toensure they have the energy and vitality they need byeating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep.However, I often struggled.Stress can also cause usto focus on the negativeaspects of our situation,leading to feelings ofhopelessness.

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Authentic Insider | Page 15Seeking help when it is neededSupport groups and forums, which are now available inonline formats, are examples of resources that canprovide counseling and encouragement. Adult dayprograms, which provide supervised programs for thosein need of care, can reduce stress by providing caregiverswith an opportunity for respite. Even something as simpleas participating in a meals-on-wheels program canprovide caregivers with a meaningful break from theirresponsibilities.It’s critical that caregivers value their own health on thesame level as the health of those for whom they arecaring. The burden of caregiving stress can easily becomeoverwhelming. As caregivers de-stress, their loved onesalso become calm and ultimately dementia caregivingbecomes just a little bit easier.Barbara J. Huelat is a prominent Human CentricHealthcare Designer, author, and speaker. Ms. Huelathas created healing environments and solved healthchallenges for more than 300 healthcare organizationsand serves as a healing environment consultant tohealthcare facilities, product manufacturers, academia,institutions, and the architectural design community. Byplacing humanity at the core, her pioneering mindsetproves that human-centric designs impact healing,improve the human experience, affect health outcomes,and are cost-effective. She has been awarded the 2023Changemaker Award by The Center for Health Design,the ASID National Luminary Award for Research 2020,eight First-Place ASID Project Design Awards, and is anASID Fellow. Her quest to support human health has ledto extensive research. She has written three books,including “Healing Environments: What's the Proof?”and “Healing Environments Design for the Body, Mind,and Spirit,” which have been translated into Chinese,and are used by students, designers, architects, andhealthcare providers, and are required by AAHID’sexam. Ms. Huelat’s latest work, “Taming the Chaos ofDementia: A Caregiver's Guide to Interventions thatMake a Difference,” provides a compassionate andinsightful guide to those facing the tumultuous journeyof dementia, offering solace, support, and practicalstrategies to navigate this challenging path. Currently,she shares human-centric designs globally via lecturersat international conferences, universities, andorganizations and through research collaborations withgovernment agencies and universities, contributing towhite papers and research articles. Always fascinatedwith the beauty of science and the science of design,she believes human-centric design experiences canmitigate human misery.

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"The greatest degree of innertranquility comes from thedevelopment of love and compassion.The more we care for the happinessof others, the greater is our ownsense of well-being." —Tenzin GyatsoAuthentic Insider | Page 16

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Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed Psychedelic Assisted Therapy The IFS Model (Internal Family Systems) is one of the fastest growing and most popularinterventions for working with psychedelics. Why? Because it's such a natural and effectivepairing for the material that expanded states naturally elicit. Fast track your opportunity to learn IFS by joining The Moxie School in this wildly exciting niche! If you want to learn IFS as it applies to expanded states, The Art of Transformation courseteaches effective methods to deeply anchor transformation in your clients. No matter whatstage of the process you are working: preparation, guiding, or integration, an IFS Informedapproach is key to supporting your clients in lasting transformational change. Lots of courses teach “about” psychedelic assisted therapy, this course teaches you the “how to” of doing interventions throughout psychedelic transformational work.Whether you are a therapist, coach, or guide - a medical professional, mental healthprofessional, or a mid-life career transition person - you are welcome! Bring your curiosity for IFS and your love for working with expanded states!LEARN MORETHE ART OFTRANSFORMAIONAll the detailsAuthentic Insider | Page 18

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SIntimate PartnerViolenceAwarenessMonthShe was leaving. She didn’t see any other options thistime. She had tried to leave before but there wasalways a reason to stay. The violence had beenescalating for years. Last night he wrapped his handsaround her neck and squeezed until she couldn’tbreathe. She saw spots before her eyes and knew thatthis might be the last day she ever saw her kids, butshe survived. She didn’t know if she would survive thenext time. She had been researching safe ways toleave for months. It wasn’t easy. He made sure of that. When they first got married, life had been perfect. Shehad a job she loved. They bought a house and theywere both making their dreams come true. At somepoint along the way, she lost contact with a lot of herfriends, and his friends became their friends. His goalsbecame their goals. It was hard to remember whenshe had started caring more about what he wanted forthe future than what she wanted. When the childrencame, they both decided she should stay home toraise them. At least she thought it had been both oftheir decisions. Looking back, she remembered all theconversations where he told her she should stayhome. He would provide for the family. The childrenneeded her. It wouldn’t be fair if she worked while thechildren were young, etc. and she ended up agreeing.It had been five years since she had a job of her own. She was completely dependent on him for everything.He paid all the bills, he provided the vehicle, whichwas in his name, and he controlled the bank accounts.She had nothing of her own. Nothing but herdetermination to be safe and for her kids to be safe.She still remembered the first-time things got physical.It was such a shock when he spit at her in the middleof an argument. She remembered standing there indisbelief as his saliva rolled down her face, and whenhe told her it was her fault because she drove himcrazy, she believed him. Spitting turned into shovinginto walls. Shoving turned into slapping and now tostrangulation. For the last two months, she had begundocumenting events and injuries, uploadingeverything to a cloud account she didn’t think heknew about, a cloud account she had shared the logininformation with one of her remaining friends fromcollege, just in case. She realized now, It didn’t matterwhat she did. Things would never be exactly the wayhe wanted them to be and she would be the one topay the price. But no more.For months she had been saving extra money. She hadordered extra copies of her birth certificate and thekids birth certificates, paying for them in cash at thehealth department. She was keeping them in the Written by Kathryn Marsh, Prosecutor’s POVAuthentic Insider | Page 19

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wheel well of her car along with copies of bankstatements, marriage certificate, health insurancecards and prepaid credit cards. When he left forwork one morning, she packed one bag for herkids and one bag for herself, put the kids in thecar and left. She drove to her friend’s house, lefther children there, and went to the courthouse tofile for a protective order. At the courthouse, shewas assigned an advocate who helped her fill outthe paperwork, file for an attorney who would beable to help her with the final protective orderhearing and with child custody. The advocatetalked to her about reporting the abuse to lawenforcement, but she didn’t know if she wasready for that step. All she wanted was freedomand safety. An hour later, she left the courthousewith a protective order saying he couldn’tcontact her or the children. The advocate hadtold her to make copies of the protective orderand keep one in her purse, one at her home andone with her friend.Last night she thought it might be her last. Todaywas a new beginning.The story above happens every day across thiscountry. On average nearly 24 people per minuteare physically abused by an intimate partner,accounting for 12 million people each year.Statistically, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men haveexperienced some form of physical violence byan intimate partner, and 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 menhave experienced severe physical violence. Consideryour circle of family, friends and loved ones, whenyou think about that statistic. Intimate partnerviolence isn’t something that happens to “otherpeople,” it happens to our neighbors, our family andour friends. Intimate Partner Violence accounts fornearly 8 million lost days of paid work every year, orapproximately 32,000 full time jobs. Intimate PartnerViolence impacts every single part of ourcommunities.October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month#DVAM. Check with your local shelter. See whatdonations they might need. Check with your areadomestic violence crisis line and see if they needvolunteers. If you want to donate to help individualvictims, check out Victims Voice at Victimsvoice.appand consider purchasing a license that will be giftedto any survivor who contacts them. More importantlycheck in with family and friends. If you want to learnmore about Domestic Violence/IPV, its warning signs,and what you can do check out the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline at On average nearly 24people per minuteare physically abusedby an intimatepartner, accountingfor 12 million peopleeach year.Authentic Insider | Page 20

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1000 WOMEN: THERIPPLE EFFECT OFHEALING FROMTRAUMAWhy Heal from Trauma? ' I’m on a mission to support 1000 women to heal trauma. Why? I know the suppression ofwomen is not a new concept. I also know that theonly way to change the world is by taking personalresponsibility. And my utopian dream is to end thecycle of "hurt people hurt people." I know the seen and unforeseen impact of healingmy own trauma. And I can say from personalexperience: When you heal your OWN pain andtrauma, it immediately ends the cycle.And it doesn't end there.Changing how you respond, feel, and live creates aripple effect of healing all around you.Why does childhood trauma even happen?Trauma is a distressing event to you!You never know what life is going to throw at you and no one comes out of childhood unscathed.There is no shame in having trauma and pain.Again trauma is a distressing event to you!Processing past traumas without reliving theexperience is key to the work I do. Dissolvingundigested trauma allows you to stop reactingfrom the pain of the past. You gain theopportunity to develop new behaviors inresponse to the present moment.What are repressed trauma symptoms?The suppression of women has left deep imprintson the collective psyche of women. Whether it'ssilenced voices, dismissed emotions, or deniedagency. Understanding this historical contextwon't bring about true healing. The work is toheal in order to break free from the chains ofgenerational trauma, reclaiming your identity,and forging a new path towards self-liberation.IAuthentic Insider | Page 22

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Healing one persongoes beyond theindividual. It has thepower to catalyzeprofoundtransformation withinentire communities.What is an Akashic Record Reading?The Akashic Records are an energetic recording ofyour soul’s every thought, action, and deed. YourRecords are very specific to you and help you gaina deeper understanding of yourself. There is noforcing or overdoing.97% + of your behaviors are unconscious. Anunconscious thought is 5000x’s more powerfulthan a conscious thought. That is why I love thiswork. Healing in your records connects you withyour unconscious experiences. Healing is thatpowerful. Your unconscious allows a massive shiftand inner freedom.The Cycle of "Hurt People Hurt People"As humans we are wired to do things with the mostefficiency a.k.a the path of least resistance. That's whywe unconsciously repeat behaviors and patterns. Theunconscious is very powerful, so stopping the cycle isjust the first part. The second part is replacing the oldwith the new. Learning new behaviors and patternsthat align with the truth that you are not broken. Youare whole.How do you begin to interrupt this cycle? By healingyourself. When you heal, you heal those around, andyou also benefit.Patterns can get passed down. YOU can be thegenerational trauma breaker for your family. Healingintergenerational trauma creates new patterns to passdown to future generations.The Ripple Effect of Healing Trauma:Healing one person goes beyond the individual. It hasthe power to catalyze profound transformation withinentire communities. Empowered women, in turn,become agents of compassion and advocates ofhealing, extending your newfound strength andwisdom to uplift others around them. Women healingthemselves becomes an unstoppable force of positivechange.The Dance of Empowerment:When I was a Dance Movement Therapist, I was fortunateto work with Vietnam Veterans at Chicago Veterans Affairs.These men went from “normal” life to being forced into asurvival situation. We are programmed to stay alive evenafter the situation is over. When we are in survival modeand energy that is created to fight, flee or freeze is not fullyprocessed, these moments get frozen in time in ourunconscious. War is an extreme example, but we canexperience distressing events at any time. These eventstigger our natural survival mode.Authentic Insider | Page 23

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Personal Trauma as a Catalyst:The seed of this mission lies in my ownexperiences. I lost both my grandfathers at age16. This led me to shut off my heart. I vowed toonly use my head so I would NEVER allow myheart to be broken again.My coping mechanism becameintellectualization, which I later learned in gradschool was not very high functioning. Let me tellyou, it created a lot more heartache than itprevented.I started my personal growth journey to findmodalities that went beyond “the seen,” healingtraditions that used the unseen energies. Istarted my studying with shamans, becamecertified in reiki, and the akashic records.Since we are 99.99999 energy it made moresense to me to heal with the unseen energies.I wanted to find modality that embraced ways toheal trauma without reliving it.Healing Trauma with the Akashic Records:Using the Akashic Records to heal my traumahas been a game changer. That is why I want toshare it with at least 1000 women.Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking any othermethods. You really need to find the one thatworks for you. And I want women to know this isan option.In a world where trauma touches us all, I amdriven to support 1000 women on their healingjourneys to break the cycle of "hurt people, hurtpeople."Healing these traumas create a ripple effect ofhealing. It transforms not only ourselves butentire communities.Through the power of the Akashic Records, youcan heal without reliving the pain, awaken yourinner healer and empower you to change lives,families, and the world. I started mypersonal growthjourney to findmodalities that wentbeyond “the seen,”healing traditionsthat used the unseenenergies. Authentic Insider | Page 24

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Authentic Insider | Page 25"What the caterpillar calls the end of theworld, the master calls a butterfly." —Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

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WHO WE AREAPPLY TODAYHelp us create a world where has access to psychedelic healing,regardless of their ability to pay for it.everyoneIf you or a loved one would benefit from psychedelichealing please apply. The Psychedelic Access Fund (PAF) is a 501c3 nonprofit thatbreaks down the financial barriers to psychedelic healing. Weaccomplish our mission by sponsoring select individuals whowould benefit from psychedelic healing but can not affordaccess. Click the button to donate towards our mission.Help someone heal.

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As the mental health crisis reaches devastating levels post pandemic, more and more people arelooking for ways to manage their mental health. How does a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a veteran struggling with PTSD and an athletesuffering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), trauma, and addiction find effective healing andrelief? Psychedelics. A treatment that was studied and used as effective treatment for mental health disorders until itwas banned and categorized as a schedule I drug in the 1970s, psychedelics have providedmuch needed relief for thousands of people suffering from trauma and mental health issues.Regardless of the laws banning these treatments, the people who understood the power of thesemedicines feel more empowered to find ways to help others find healing through them. On thefollowing page click on the graphic to view the Proof of Concept for "Our Own PersonalRealities." An Upcoming Documentary about the Fight toBring Psychedelic Healing Back into the LightAuthentic Insider | Page 27

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If you are interested in donating orinvesting in this film, please emaillorilee@binstockmediagroup.comAuthentic Insider | Page 28

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“Character cannot be developed inease and quiet. Onlythrough experience of trialand suffering can the soulbe strengthened, ambitioninspired, and successachieved.” — Helen KellerAuthentic Insider | Page 29

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Authentic Insider | Page 30 ecently, I was at a performance by JesseCook, the famed guitarist from Canada whoseskills cross different musical genres. Beforehe and his group played a piece entitled,“Once” (available for online listening), heasked the audience to close their eyes andimagine a place where they have been manytimes, walking on the same road again andagain. He said: You know the road. You havebeen there more than once.” I later learnedhe wrote “Once” as he reflected on hischildhood home in Aveyron, France; it was aplace he had not visited in years but he hadcertainly been there once. And it was a placethat influenced him throughout his life — hekept going there in his mind until he actuallywent back there in person.I am in the process of finishing a memoir by EmiNietfeld titled Acceptance. It is the heart-wrenching story of her growing up with a motherwho was a hoarder. She lived in foster homes,was homeless for periods of time and eventuallyset off to college (Harvard) at age 17 afterspending time at a boarding school andbackpacking across Europe. At various times, shestruggled with her mental health including eatingdisorders and self-cutting. And she was raped.All Emi wanted was acceptance — in a home, in afamily, in a college, in a relationship, infriendships. Yet, everywhere she went, despitegrowing acceptance from the outside world(prizes for her writing certainly helped as did anamazing therapist and social worker), she didn’tfeel accepted. She couldn’t find where she fit. Inshort, that was because she hadn’t acceptedherself. Not once.Aging &AcceptanceWritten By Karen GrossR

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Authentic Insider | Page 31And so, between the concert and thememoir, I have been thinking about how weoften seek to find acceptance throughoutside credentials (awards; prizes; money;college and graduate school acceptance) orthrough relationships with friends or loversor mentors or educators. We don’t often anddeliberately do what Jesse Cook did — walkdown a road alone that allows us to see whowe are and where we are from and whatmakes us what we are. For him, that was aregion of France and a home made of stone.In a world like ours where outside accoladesare omnipresent and feedback is plentifulonline and elsewhere, we mistake thoseaccolades for internal and deeply personalacceptance. And we hear the rejections asevidence that we are not good enough — yet.And, if we don’t find acceptance inward, wekeep looking for and seeking more accoladesor more money or more outside admirationor acknowledgement. In other words, we areon a never ending quest that lasts a lifetimeif we continue to seek acceptance fromoutside of ourselves. We keep climbing someinvisible hill, not stopping to see what wehave accomplished as we climb.This all ties into how I think as an educator. Ithink we need to help students acceptthemselves and be evaluated not by externalnorms all the time. Test scores; grades. We need for them to appreciate progress andprocess and self-understanding. We don’t needto shower them with gold stars and trophies. Weneed, instead, to help students do what JesseCook did — find where he was from and own it.We need to shower them with self-confidencethat is home-grown so to speak.There is a general sense that finding self-acceptance is easier as we age. Society hasdeemed us “finished” in terms of career heightslong before we are ready to receive socialsecurity. So, we should be able, it seems, toaccept where we are in life — when there is morelife behind us than ahead of us. It is in our oldage, supposedly, that we can find acceptance —finally. That said, I’m not so sure self-acceptanceis a given when one is “old” and I don’t think oneneeds to wait to be “old” to engage in findingthat acceptance.It is in this context of being “old” personally andat the age and stage to be self-accepting that Iwas recently asked to reflect on how my careerstarted. An effort by an organization to tap intotheir senior members’ history. While I said I’dwrite something, I didn’t particularly like theassignment.For starters, I object to the word “senior.” It isnot that I deny my age; it is that the term seemssomewhat off-putting to me. Next, I think peopleexpected a linear story: I did this and I’m not so sure self-acceptance is a given whenone is “old” and I don’tthink one needs to wait tobe “old” to engage infinding that acceptance.

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Authentic Insider | Page 29then that, which led to this, and then to that.But linear is not how life works. At least notmy life. Instead, I think for me and others, lifehappens and we make choices and we livewith what streets we did not inhabit. Lastly,how I began my career is hardly the story totell. The story that matters is still ongoing: itis the story of self-understanding, ofdeciding what truly matters, of ensuring thatI leave this world better than I found it.In short, the piece on my past (which will nodoubt be published in some compilationsomewhere), made me reflect on the presentand the future — not the past. It made methink about “Once” and Acceptance. Isuppose in that sense, while not intended,the assignment of how my career startedplaced me on a different road than the oneintended by the assignment. Instead ofentrenching me in the past, it moved meforward.And that leads me to ask this: Might we allwant to reflect on those places that fit within“Once” and ponder acceptance in all itsinternal dimensions? That doesn’t happenonly when one is old; it should happenthroughout life …. if we live it with intentionand with perspective and with introspection.Yes, it’s hard …. but old age doesn’t makethat “Once” journey to acceptance easy oreasier. It is a question with which we need towrestle throughout our lives, makingprogress as we go. Old or young, it is not toolate. Once…….Art Work by Karen GrossThe story that matters is still ongoing: it is thestory of self-understanding, of deciding whattruly matters, of ensuring that I leave thisworld better than I found it.Authentic Insider | Page 32

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"There are far, farbetter things aheadthan anything weleave behind." —C.S. LewisAuthentic Insider | Page 33

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FEEL ALL THE FEELS"Overcome” by Nothing by thieves“Better Place” by Rachel Platten“Screen” by Twenty One Pilots“Unwell” by Matchbox Twenty“Last Hope” by Paramore“Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga“Titanium” by David Guetta featuring Sia"Zero" by Imagine Dragons"Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum "Lithium" by Evanescence "Lovely" by Billie Eilish and Khalid "Mad World" by Tears for Fears "u" by Kendrick Lamar “Afraid” by Cage the elephantOctober is DepressionAwareness Month. Whilemusic could be a greatdistraction and lower stresslevels, research has shownthat it can lessen the impactof depression and anxiety. Soturn up the music and listento tunes that will get you.Authentic Insider | Page 34

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Curiosity, a lithe and floppy-eared creature, perches above the openworld and gazes out with a zippy blend of hope, wonder, and longing. Taking in the perfect harmony of this book is like taking a long gulpfrom a trusty thermos and filling up with warmth. What Feelings DoWhen No One’s Looking surprises and soothes, inspires us to feel.In Catching Thoughts, a girl is plagued by an unwanted thought. Nomatter what she does--ignore it, yell at it, cry about it--the thoughtwon't go away. Frustrated and discouraged, she finally looks thatbad thought in the face and says, "Hello." At last, she is able tonotice other more beautiful, positive thoughts all around her. Asshe catches hold of new thoughts, the girl discovers she can fill hermind with whatever she chooses.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 35n When Sadness Is at Your Door, Eva Eland brilliantly approaches thisfeeling as if it is a visitor. She gives it a shape and a face, and encouragesthe reader to give it a name, all of which helps to demystify it anddistinguish it from ourselves. She suggests activities to do with it, likesitting quietly, drawing, and going outside for a walk. The beauty of thisapproach is in the respect the book has for the feeling, and the absence ofa narrative that encourages the reader to "get over" it or indicates that it's"bad," both of which are anxiety-producing notions.

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Barbara Huelat explores options in human engagement, the experienceof destinations, positive distractions, familiar settings, furnishings, light,color, technology, nature, and the emotion of the senses. She offersdesign interventions that support the family caregivers in functionaland emotional outcomes. No cure exists for dementia, but the tips,tools, strategies and suggestions include here provide tools forcaregivers and those with dementia to make the experience morecomfortable and calm.MENTAL HEALTHBOOKS (FOR ADULTS)Drawing on her own fraught relationship to momfluencer culture, SaraPetersen incorporates pop culture analysis and interviews with prominentmomfluencers and experts (psychologists, academics, technologists) toexplore the glorification of the ideal mama online with both humor andempathy. At home on a bookshelf with Lyz Lenz’s Belabored and JiaTolentino’s Trick Mirror, Momfluenced argues that momfluencers don’tsimply sell mothers on the benefits of bamboo diapers, they sell us thedream of motherhood itself, a dream tangled up in whiteness, capitalism,and the heteronormative nuclear familyJustin became trapped in a twisted sexual relationship that lasted months,and ended with a conspiracy to commit murder. When the church foundout, the abuse was covered up and life went on as normal—except it didn’t,not for Justin. For the next twenty years, he experienced PTSD andnightmares, and he carried heavy baggage that almost ended hismarriage. Sheltered but Not Protected is the true story of a young boygrowing up in the IFB church; the sexual, mental, and emotional abuse heexperienced; how he escaped; and his journey to find healing andforgiveness.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 36

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For the month of October 2023, I see that many of you have your desires within reach. Be sure to have faiththat everything is working out in your favor. Some of you are meant to be spiritual teachers. In this field, youwill be able to teach other people about healing and spirituality. I also see that many of you will need to be assertive with others. In this case, you might need to say no toothers. Even when they want you to say yes to them, this could be an opportunity to stand up for your beliefsin life. People could be trying to challenge you.For singles, I see that your love life will be changing for the better. You will be meeting someone new. Couples,your communication is improving. Maybe as a couple you could be spending more quality time together.In the spring of next year, I feel that many of you will see your dreams come true. I also feel that someonecould be holding on to anger, resentment and bitterness of the past. Now is a good time to release thatenergy. It could be a time to ask your Guides, God, and Angels to help you forgive. You can move on with yourlife in a peaceful and positive way.Another message coming out is that patience is currently needed in your current situation. It's not always soeasy to do this, but it will really help.Many of you could be changing your career. This way you can do work that you really enjoy and makes youhappy. I do see that many of you are called to be healers after dealing with a situation that could havebroken you, or maybe even caused you a lot of pain. A side message I was seeing is that someone could be trying to have kids and could have had a miscarriage.My condolences. Others of you will get pregnant or want to have kids. You absolutely will. That's great news.Overall advice for the month is to learn from the past. Realize that you can overcome any obstacle thatcomes your way. Just stay positive. So just know that you can make your dreams a reality. To learn more, be sure to book a reading at www.livenarcfree.comMonthly Collective ReadingsMonthly Collective Readings for All Signsfor All SignsJoy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it her life'swork to help others through lifecoaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coaching servicesfrom Joy and/or get your ownpersonal reading, please scan thebarcode below with yoursmartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page 37