AIM November 2024 : simplebooklet.com

AlwaysDear Readers,First off, I’d love to start off the month of gratitude by thanking all of you for the amazingsupport, from Authentic Insider Readers to the listeners of “A Trauma Survivor Thriver’sPodcast.” I probably wouldn’t be healing out loud without your support. The holidays can be a tough time of the year for families. In November’s issue, Our ParentingPOV contributor, Tina Hamilton shares her tips for finding peace in the season of thanks. Also, this month’s contributor, April Arielli, shares her story of recovering from complex PTSD,as she describes the adventurous activity that helped her heal and find gratitude in grief.Orit Ramler, Author of “The Box Life” graces November’s pages with her piece on theimportance of Preserving Memories and how they provide us with a pathway to mental well-being.This month, STAR Network’s Jamie Huysman, announces the change from TAR (Toxic AbuseRelationship) Network to the STAR (Survivors of Toxic Abuse Relationships) Network. JamieHuysman breaks down what this means for survivors and what FREE programs and supportgroups they offer for STARS.November also means it’s time to vote, if you haven’t already. But with the divisive election,there are many fears and controversies looming, including voter fraud. Kathryn Marsh with ourProsecutor’s POV informs our readers about what to do if you are concerned about voterintegrity in our area.Many people are constantly on their phones or have ear buds in while surrounded by theirchildren. What messages are we sending our kids? Trauma Educator, Karen Gross shares herobservations while taking a stroll through Washington, D.C..And as in every issue, we have our monthly AIM Gratitude Playlist along with my picks forchildren and adult books. Plus, check out Joy Larkin's Twin Flame Reading to see what's instore for you this November.Happy Reading!Lorilee BinstockAuthentic Insider | Page 02editor's noteLorilee BinstockEditor in Chief

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Authentic Insider | Page 09Voter or the last eight years it seems like there has been aconstant hum of voter fraud allegations in our country.We have seen this belief play out in the passage ofVoter ID laws, mass purging of voter data bases,threats against polling judges, and changes to howstates certify elections. But, outside of the hum, whatproof is there of actual widespread and systemic voterfraud? The answer, very little, and that answer has notchanged in the almost two hundred years there havebeen allegations of voter fraud.While the hum about election fraud may seem louderin recent years than ever before, allegations of voterfraud aren’t new. In the 19th century when blacks wereable to vote for the first time, it was Democrats whospread allegations of widespread voter fraud. In the1960s with the civil rights movement and a push toregister voters who for decades had been marginalizedand/or forgotten, there were again widespreadallegations of voter fraud. Today, the allegations arebeing spread about our immigrant community.“The historically disenfranchised are often the targetof voter fraud allegations. Fraud allegations today,typically point the finger at those belonging to thesame categories of voters accused of fraud in the past– the marginalized and formerly disenfranchised,urban dwellers, immigrants, blacks, and lower statusvoters. These populations are mostly found amongthose still struggling for full inclusion in American life.”Lorraine C. MinniteHow much voter fraud is being carried out in thecountry? And is it enough to make a difference in theelection? The Brennan Center’s Report, Truth AboutVoter Fraud, reviewed elections that had beenmeticulously studied for voter fraud and foundincident rates between 0.0003 percent and 0.0025percent. Statistically, according to the report anAmerican “will be struck by lightning than that he willimpersonate another voter at the polls.” Additionally,the Brennan Center report found that most reportedincidents of voter fraud are actually traceable to othersources, such as clerical errors or bad data matchingpractices.FraudWritten by Kathryn Marsh, Prosecutor POV“Watch for the voter fraud, because we winwithout voter fraud, we win so easily”Donald J. Trump, September 2024F

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Authentic Insider | Page 10After the 2020 election, The Associated Presscontacted local election officials in six swing statesregarding voter fraud. In total, the Associated Presslearned of 475 potential voter fraud cases. If all ofthese cases ended up being actual voter fraud, thisamounts to .00019% of the more than 25 millionballots that were cast in those six states.Similarly, the Washington Post investigated voterfraud in 2014 and found a total of 31 credibleinstances of impersonation fraud from 2000 to 2014,out of more than 1 billion ballots cast during this timeframe. Arizona State University conducted two separatevoter fraud studies, one in 2012 and another in 2016.These studies also found negligible rates ofimpersonation fraud. ASU found a total of 10 cases ofvoter impersonation fraud nationwide from 2000-2012. In 2016, ASU concentrated their study on stateswhere politicians had argued had widespread voterfraud and found zero successful prosecutions forimpersonation fraud in five states from 2012-2016.Another study conducted in 2011 by the RepublicanNational Lawyers Association found that, between2000 and 2010, 21 states had 1 or 0 convictions forvoter fraud or other kinds of voting irregularities.Additionally, our courts have found that voter fraud ispractically non-existent. In Veasey et al v. State ofTexas (2016), the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, whenweighing the constitutionality of the Texas ID Lawfound “only two convictions for in-person voterimpersonation fraud out of 20 million votes cast in thedecade”. And in North Carolina, the 4 th Circuit foundthat the State had “failed to identify even a singleindividual who has ever been charged with committinginperson voter fraud in North Carolina.”Lorraine C. Minnite, Assistant Professor of PoliticalScience, Bernard College, Columbia Universityauthored “The Politics of Voter Fraud” found that “atthe federal level, records show that only 24 peoplewere convicted of or pleaded guilty to illegalvoting between 2002 and 2005, an average of eightpeople a year.” When she broke down the 24 cases, 19people were ineligible to vote, five of whom wereineligible because they were still under statesupervision for felony convictions, and the remaining14 were not U.S. citizens; Additionally, five people hadvoted twice in the same election. Her conclusion, aftera complete review of all alleged voter fraud cases wasthat “reports of voter fraud were most often limited tolocal races and individual acts and fell into threecategories: unsubstantiated or false claims by theloser of a close race, mischief and administrative orvoter error.”Ineligible voters often register, not for nefariousreasons, but because of an honest belief that they areeligible. In Florida, 20 formerly incarcerated peoplewere arrested for alleged illegal voting. All 20 had beeneven given voter registration cards by the State ofFlorida and had served their time and completedprobation. Similarly in Texas, a woman was arrestedfor voting in 2018 after believing she was eligible tovote again starting in 2016. It is important to note,when looking at individuals who have votedfraudulently based on prior criminal convictions, thecase of Brian Pritchard, the first vice chairman ofGeorgia’s Republican Party. Between 2008 and 2010,Pritchard was found to have illegally voted nine timeswhile on probation for a felony sentence.Ineligible voters often register,not for nefarious reasons, butbecause of an honest beliefthat they are eligible.

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Looking specifically at the 2020 election considerseveral states. In Ohio, Republican Secretary of StateFrank LaRose stated that in 2022 his office had found atotal of 75 voters who allegedly cast a ballot in Ohio andanother state in 2020. Ohio citizens had cast 6 millionballots in 2020, for a total of .00125% of all votes castinvolving fraud. LaRose stated that in light of the twoyear investigation “voter fraud continues to beexceedingly rare” in the state.In Kansas, the Republican Secretary of State advised heneeded additional powers to investigate and prosecutevoter fraud. These powers were granted. Since thattime, he has charged six cases of voter fraud, four havebeen successful. He further testified to the statelegislature that in his review of 84 million votes cast in22 states, he found 14 instances of fraud he hadreferred for prosecution. This amounts to a0.00000017 percent.In Texas, the chief law enforcement official responsiblefor such prosecuting voter fraud identified only oneconviction and one guilty plea that involved in-personvoter fraud in all Texas elections from 2002 through2014.In Florida, 85 non-citizens were identified as havingregistered to vote with only one being convicted ofactual voter fraud. It is important to note that peopleoften register to vote when getting their driver’slicense, some not knowing what they’re registering for,and others not understanding voter eligibility at thetime they register.In Maine the Republican secretary of state found“there is little or no history in Maine of voterimpersonation or identification fraud.”In total, there have been 306 convictions across 37states for voter fraud in our elections between 2016and 2020. Of these 306 convictions, 151 were relatedto a presidential or congressional race. Of the 306convictions, 39.4% of those convicted wereDemocrats, 41.1% were Republicans, while theremainder were Independent, nonpartisan, orunaffiliated. One of the most egregious voter fraudcases for 2020 was Republican Kim Phuong Taylor, 49,of Sioux City. She fraudulently voted 23 times.Not for president, but for her husband who wasrunning for Congress. It is important to note, that noneof these 306 votes would have made a difference ineither the 2016 or 2020 presidential election.Voter integrity, and free and safe elections are thebedrock of our democracy and should not be takenlightly. States, by law, are required to routinelyremove ineligible or deceased voters from their rolls.Polling judges, from all parties, monitor voting toensure it is being done correctly. There are tools likethe Electronic Registration Information Center thathelps states share voter data across state lines.Additionally, programs that include signaturematching, and drop box surveillance all help to ensurewe have free, fair and safe elections. If you areconcerned about voter integrity in your area, sign upto be a poll judge, or an election observer. TheNational Conference of State Legislatures website liststhe requirements to be an observer in all 50 states.https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/fact-checking-trumps-false-claims-about- voter-fraud-and-rigged-electionshttps://www.npr.org/2024/10/11/nx-s1-5147732/voter-fraud-explainerhttps://www.brennancenter.org/sites/default/files/analysis/Briefing_Memo_Debunkin g_Voter_Fraud_Myth.pdfhttps://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/woman-convicted-voter-fraud-schemehttps://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/republicans-voter-fraud-convictions- 2024-rcna146434https://the2020election.org/voter-fraud-convictions-since-2016/Sources:Voter integrity, and free andsafe elections are the bedrock ofour democracy and should notbe taken lightly.

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Authentic Insider | Page 16The mere sight of this month on my calendarunleashes a flood of memories: the sound of gravelunder the tires of the car as we weave our way up thelong driveway to the cabin in Upstate, NY, the smokebillowing from the cabin’s chimney, the frostcrystalized on the hillside before the cabin porch, thescent of sweet potatoes and marshmallows waftingfrom the small kitchen on Thanksgiving morning. These memories rush in, one after another, remindingme of the complexities of the holiday season. The joyand pain that I’ve carried for decades.Before my parent’s divorce, Thanksgiving at mygrandparent’s cabin was pure magic. Mygrandfather’s scruffy beard would tickle my face ashe gave me the biggest bear hug when we arrived. I’dsqueal with laughter when he’d give me his signature“moo-cow bite” on the tender part of my knees. Mybrothers, cousin and I would snuggle up together inthe warmth of the hearth for family movie night. Even in the years following their divorce, even whenmy dad disappeared from our lives, my grandparentsand aunt kept the tradition alive, bringing us to thecabin every Thanksgiving. It was my happy place. It was where I felt safest.But everything shifted when my mom started datingsomeone new during my mid-teens. Suddenly,Thanksgiving became a battlefield.“It’s my turn,” she’d insist, driven by a desperateneed to create the perfect image of a happy single-parent family.Fall became the season of endless argumentsbetween my parents–or my aunt acting on my dad’sbehalf–about who deserved to have us for theholiday.The worst part was being forced to choose.“You can go wherever you want,” they’d say.But the unspoken message was clear: choosing onemeant rejecting the other.So I chose neither.I opted for a quiet house, a turkey sandwich, andfootball on TV while I waited for my friends to finishtheir family dinners so we could hang out.This became my new tradition, one I maintainedthrough relationships and guilt trips. Written by Tina Hamilton, The Healing ParentProsecutor’s POVAh, November.

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Authentic Insider | Page 17Years later, my daughter was born on ThanksgivingDay, almost as a gentle nod from the Universe thatthis day was meant to be my personal holiday. Myday of quietly reflecting on the year and all I had tobe grateful for, in the comfort of my own home, myown energy, in my own peace.Yet, as a mom of two and years of inner work behindme, I find myself at a crossroads. I want to heal my relationship with this holiday, tocreate something meaningful that honors both mypast and my children's future. But I wonder: if Icontinue to hold this protective distance from familygatherings, what message does that send to mychildren about healing, about family, about tradition?Our holiday experiences are often never just joy orpain. Instead, they are complex, a dance betweennostalgia and dread. Society tells us to be grateful, togather, to celebrate - but what happens when theseexpectations bump up against our emotional truth?Sometimes the most self-honoring choice is toacknowledge that our holiday experience doesn't fitthe traditional mold. That our inner wisdom might beguiding us toward different ways of moving throughthese charged seasons.As we enter another holiday season, perhaps it's timeto explore a different approach. One that honors ourwhole story - the beauty and the pain, the traditionand the trauma, the desire to create new memorieswhile still holding space for old wounds.As I work to heal my own relationship with theholidays, I've discovered ways to navigate thisseason while honoring my emotional truth. These arethe practices that help me stay grounded when oldpatterns emerge and new challenges arise:“I want to heal myrelationship with thisholiday, to createsomething meaningfulthat honors both mypast and mychildren's future.”

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Let go of an idealized, picture-perfect holiday Identify when you'regetting pulled awayfrom your center Find moments ofstillness within the chaos Know your triggers+ meet them withcompassion Give yourselfpermission to say no(or change your mind) When you notice yourself people-pleasing,rushing, or feeling scattered, your body is tellingyou something important. Watch for tension inyour shoulders, shallow breathing, or racingthoughts – these are signals that it's time topause and reconnect with yourself.When overwhelm creeps in, place one hand onyour heart, one on your belly. Take three slowbreaths, feeling your belly rise and fall. Thissimple practice can ground you back into thepresent moment, anywhere, anytime.The most meaningful moments often happen inunexpected ways, not in perfectly curatedcelebrations. Release the pressure to createInstagram-worthy gatherings and instead focuson authentic connections – even if they lookdifferent than tradition suggests.Holiday triggers often appear as intenseemotional reactions to seemingly smallmoments. When you feel that familiar surge ofemotion, try this gentle reminder: "I honor thisfeeling. I can step away to breathe." Then excuseyourself for a moment of reset.Your energy is sacred, especially during theholidays. When your chest feels tight at thethought of an event, or your stomach churnswhile planning gatherings, listen to that wisdom.Your body knows when you need to step back.Trust it.12345The journey of healing our relationship with theholidays is deeply personal. It requires patience,self-compassion, and often, support. While thesepractices help me navigate the complex emotions ofthe season, I recognize that each person's path toholiday peace is unique. Sometimes we need gentleguidance to help us stay connected to our innerwisdom during these challenging months.Authentic Insider | Page 18“The journey of healing our relationship with theholidays is deeply personal. It requires patience,self-compassion, and often, support.”“The journey of healing our relationship with theholidays is deeply personal. It requires patience,self-compassion, and often, support.”If you're seeking deeper support this holiday season, join mefor Coming Home for the Holidays: Honoring Your InnerWisdom through the Season, a daily audio guidance andmeditation practice designed to help you navigate thesesacred but challenging months. Together, we'll create spacefor both healing and joy, honoring your journey exactly as it is.

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PreservingMEMORIES:A Pathway to Mental Well-beingWritten by Orit Ramler,The Box of Life Project: A Guide to Living With PurposeIn the tapestry of our lives, memories form the intricatethreads that weave our identity and shape ouremotional landscape. From cherished moments of joy toprofound experiences of loss, each memory holds aunique significance in defining who we are. In recentyears, the intersection of mental health and memorypreservation has garnered increasing attention,highlighting the profound impact that our recollectionscan have on our well-being.The Power of MemoriesMemories serve as more than mere snapshots of thepast; they play a crucial role in our mental health. Bytheir nature, memories are therapeutic, helping usprocess emotions, solidify experiences, and reflect onour lives with greater clarity.Psychologically, reminiscing about positive experiencescan evoke feelings of happiness, gratitude, andcontentment. For example, consider someone reflectingon a childhood memory of playing in the park with theirparents. These simple yet profound memories have thepower to transport us back to moments of pure joy,offering emotional nourishment in times of distress.Conversely, reflecting on challenges we’ve overcomecan bolster resilience and self-confidence. When Sarah,for instance, lost a close friend, she struggled to copewith the grief. Yet over time, memories of how shenavigated previous hardships reminded her of her innerstrength. Revisiting memories of resilience helps usreconnect with our core values and capabilities,fostering a sense of purpose and continuity.From a neurological standpoint, the act of recallingmemories strengthens neural pathways associated withemotions. Repeatedly revisiting positive memories notonly reinforces emotional regulation but also aids inimproving long-term memory. The hippocampus, thebrain's key memory hub, becomes more efficientthrough this repeated use, helping us retain and processinformation more effectively as we age.

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I can’t emphasize enough the transformative potentialof reflective practices. In my work, I encourage clientsto explore their "memory landscapes," identifyingpivotal moments that have shaped who they are. Thisprocess not only fosters self-awareness but alsoempowers us to navigate life’s challenges with greaterresilience. Our memories are a personal compass,helping us rediscover direction when life feelsuncertain.Authentic Insider | Page 22Creating Positivity Through Memory PracticesBeyond preservation, cultivating positivity throughintentional memory practices can profoundly impactmental health. Practices such as gratitude journaling,where we regularly write about moments we arethankful for, have been shown to enhance overall well-being. By consistently focusing on positive memories,we retrain our brains to seek out joy in daily life.Another powerful practice is the creation of a box oflife—a curated collection of remembrances that reflectthe richness of lived experiences. This tangiblecollection offers comfort and strength during difficulttimes. Take Emily, for example. Emily was battling withanxiety after the sudden loss of her job. She feltoverwhelmed by uncertainty about the future. Iworked with Emily in creating her box of life, filling itwith meaningful items—a letter from a dear friend, aseashell from her favorite beach, pastaccomplishments, photos from cherished moments,and a small notebook filled with her dreams and goals.When Emily felt anxious, she would open her box,allowing the comforting memories and tangiblereminders of her strength to guide her throughchallenging moments. "It became my lifeline," Emilyshares. "Whenever I doubted myself or felt lost, thebox of life reminded me of who I am, what I’veovercome, and the future I’m still building."The Therapeutic Value of StorytellingCentral to memory preservation is the art ofstorytelling. Sharing personal narratives can validateexperiences, cultivate empathy, and foster a sense ofbelonging. Storytelling, guided by trainedprofessionals, can be particularly beneficial foreveryone, and certainly for those navigating traumaor grief, providing a structured framework forprocessing emotions and finding meaning inadversity.Storytelling is inherently therapeutic because itallows individuals to rewrite their narratives. I alwaysask my clients, “what other story could you tellyourself about this same situation?” There is alwaysmore than one story for everything. The very act oftelling a story helps us make sense of complexemotions, transforming pain into resilience. Whensomeone recounts their journey through loss orhardship, they often discover unrecognized sourcesof strength and endurance. By shaping our ownstories, we regain agency over our lives, ultimatelyfostering personal growth and empowerment.For example, consider someone who endured atraumatic experience but later shares their story withothers. By sharing, they not only process their painbut also help others recognize their ownvulnerabilities and strengths. Storytelling connectsus, offering a bridge of understanding that heals boththe teller and the listener. Memories are all stories tobe shared.The Healing Power of NostalgiaNostalgia, often described as a bittersweet longingfor the past, has been part of human existence forcenturies. Historically viewed as a medical condition(with some even considering it a form ofhomesickness), nostalgia has evolved into a deeplyenriching emotional experience. Research suggeststhat nostalgia can elevate mood, boost self-esteem,and enhance feelings of connectedness. When weindulge in nostalgic memories—like recalling the smellof a grandparent’s kitchen or a favorite familyvacation—it connects us to our roots, stabilizing oursense of self during times of change or uncertainty.Nostalgia doesn’t just pull us back in time; it reaffirmswho we are and the relationships that have shapedus. In this way, nostalgia becomes a healing force,offering comfort and a reminder that past joys are anintegral part of our ongoing journey.

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Looking Ahead: Legacy and ContinuityAs we contemplate our legacies, the preservation ofmemories takes on added significance. Beyond personalgratification, leaving a legacy of shared stories and valuescontributes to intergenerational continuity and culturalpreservation. Whether through oral traditions passeddown through generations or digital archives accessible tofuture descendants, our memories offer a bridge betweenpast, present, and future.The concept of building a box of life can extend beyondthe individual, too. Families and communities can createcollective memory boxes, filled with shared experiences,stories, and tokens of unity. In moments of collective griefor struggle, these boxes serve as a reminder of the sharedjourney and collective strength, nurturing a sense oftogetherness and mutual support.In conclusion, the preservation of memories is not merelya passive act but a dynamic process with profoundimplications for mental health and well-being. By engagingwith our memories mindfully, cultivating positivitythrough intentional practices like putting together a box oflife, and embracing the therapeutic value of storytelling,we empower ourselves to navigate life’s complexities withresilience and authenticity. As we cherish our memories,we not only honor our past but also nurture our presentand shape our future.Our memories are not just fragments of the past; they areguiding stars illuminating our journey toward wholenessand meaning.Authentic Insider | Page 23Orit Ramler is the author of The Box of Life: A Guidefor Living With Purpose And Preserving What MattersMost. She is a seasoned entrepreneur and executivecoach with over thirty years of experience in business,leadership, and personal and professionaldevelopment. She is a globally sought-after coach and the founder ofMake It a Good One® Coaching and Consulting, whichfocuses on client-centered coaching, and The Box ofLife Project®, which helps individuals andorganizations live with purpose while preserving theirmost valuable stories and memories. Orit’s practice also draws on her previous outreach,leadership, and fundraising experience as an executivedirector for nonprofit organizations. She served ondifferent boards; among them the Board of Visitors forthe Duke University School of Nursing and she is thelead coach for DELTA Leadership Inc. She also coachesfor Duke’s FUQUA Business School ExecutiveEducation Leadership Program, Global and WeekendMBA programs. Orit is a certified coach and holds a master's degree ineducational psychology. She has lived in sevencountries, giving her a unique understanding of cultureand human behavior. She resides in Durham, NorthCarolina, where she loves spending time with herfamily, friends, and furry companions.Orit Ramler

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Authentic Insider | Page 2612000 ft above the Earth. Hands gripping the barabove the open door of a Twin Otter Airplane.Leaning over the edge, looking at the worldbelow. The Airflow tugging my jumpsuit, pullingme, tempting me to take a leap of faith. From thisheight, the world I knew looked so small. Myfears, anxiety, and misery suddenly seemedinsignificant. “Have faith,” I told myself. Faith thatmy parachute would open. Faith that I could landsafely. Faith that by throwing myself into thewide-open sky, I could save my own life.Four years earlier, I had wanted to die. I wished Iwould die. I didn’t want to take my own life, but Idid not want to exist anymore. Having beensexually assaulted, by someone who I thoughtwas a friend, had thrown me into the bottomlesspit of depression. Having had my confidence,self-worth, and overall identity stolen in the blinkof an eye, I no longer had the will to live.While languishing in my apartment, I found aDVD from a tandem skydive I had done on myprevious birthday. Watching it sparked a briefmoment of excitement within me. I called thedropzone and signed up for skydiving lessons. Ididn’t care how dangerous it was. I was alreadyat the bottom wishing to die, so why not dosomething thrilling that might end it all for me?I took the courses. I did the training jumps. Each time Iflung myself out of that plane, I simultaneously hoped Iwould live, and hoped I would die. Each landing brought asmile to my face. The first time, my smile lasted about 10minutes before the darkness crept back in, but itprogressively lasted longer and longer thereafter. I was in the sport for four years. Instead of withering awayin my apartment, my weekends were spent outside,soaking in sunlight, boosting my serotonin and endorphins.Becoming a part of a community, making new friends,building trust as we put our lives in each other’s hands,increasing my oxytocin. My muscles had to overpower theairflow during freefall, providing exercise that I wasn’tgetting otherwise. Each jump gave me an adrenaline rush,which gave me huge hits of dopamine.Finding Gratitude in Grief Written by April ArielliIn loving memory of Marine Staff Sgt. Jordan Emrick

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Authentic Insider | Page 21The act of choosing this dangerousactivity allowed me to feel a sense ofcontrol over my life after surviving atraumatic situation where someone tookthat control from me. The assault had leftme feeling helpless. Skydiving allowed meto make a dangerous choice repeatedlyuntil I felt like my life, and body, were myown again. I dated a fellow skydiver, who was amarine, an E.O.D. Specialist. There werequite a few members of the military in ourcommunity, as most had completed theretraining at the dropzone, and loved it somuch they continued to jump for fun. Hebecame a skydiver for reasons similar tomine; needing to feel joy, some control ofhis life, and battling depression. Together,we learned to live again. Then, he wasscheduled to deploy, again.“The act of choosingthis dangerous activityallowed me to feel asense of control overmy life after . . .someone took thatcontrol from me.” Authentic Insider | Page 27

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Authentic Insider | Page 28Four years after starting my skydiving journey, Iwas looking at the world from 12000 ft with awhole new perspective. The final piece of myrecovery was falling into place, gratitude. Irealized I loved my life, and was thankful forbeing able to live it. I had friends that let me bemyself, and looked out for me. I had created aconfidence that allowed me to pursue my wildestdreams. Whenever I walked into a room ofstrangers, my walk had a swagger because Iwas now brave and confident. Things that usedto consume my mind with terror no longer had ahome within me. I wondered what the future heldfor me and was actually excited to find out.Through all the pain, I had finally found a spaceof awe and wonder. In that moment, I realized that life, my life, wasprecious and I was afraid that an accident in thesport that had saved my life, could now end it.With tears in my eyes, I threw myself into thearms of the sky that had cradled my bodyhundreds of times until I was healed, and saidgood bye to skydiving.We had a huge argument before his deployment.We didn’t speak for some time. While he wasoverseas, we reconnected and apologized to oneanother. We emailed regularly, his depressionhad worsened, and I tried to keep his spirits up. Ireceived an email from him on Thursday, November 3, 2010. He was killed in action thenext day. We lost friends from our community.Some were killed while serving our country,others died tragically doing the sport we loved. I learned that if you love someone, tell themalways. Repeatedly, even when you might not befeeling it. Disagreements happen, mend itquickly! There is no guarantee that you will haveanother moment with them.“The final piece of my recoverywas falling into place,g r a t i t u d e . Through all the pain, I had finally found a space of awe and wonder.”

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Authentic Insider | Page 30Seeing Cellphones and EarPods in DC:Seeing Cellphones and EarPods in DC:Seeing Cellphones and EarPods in DC: A Warning to (Some) ParentsA Warning to (Some) ParentsA Warning to (Some) ParentsI have written about cell phones and their presence/use inschools. I suggest that we do not need to ban them;instead, we need to use them wisely and with innovationand creativity. Here’s a link to the posting on that:The “But” Cell Phone Lesson: Parental UseI have been living in DC for the past month (no worries; Iam fine and enjoying my she-pad here and will return toCape Ann soon). I have been walking my dog Wrinkles onthe streets in NW DC and I have seen some things withcellphones and parents and kids that are making my bloodboil. Bottom line, as I will describe, the problem is NOT with theuse of cellphones in school; it is the use of cellphone bysome parents when they are together with their children,at home and when walking. This subset of parents is notrole-modeling good use of cellphones, at least on publicstreets.Written By Karen Gross, Trauma Educator, Author ofLet me explain.Incident One: A day or two ago, a father and two young boys werewalking down 23rd Street. They appeared to be DC natives(actually almost no one is native to DC), not tourists. Onechild (about 10) was looking at his iPad as he was walkingin step with his father. And the father was texting on hisiPhone while walking. (Forget the possibility of tripping orrunning into people as these device users are lookingdown.)The younger son (about 6) was just walking along behindthe other two family members, feeling I am sure as if hewere left out. He was. Either he did not have any device(maybe he was too young) or he forgot it at home (commonissue) or he didn’t want to use his device that day.Incident Two: This morning, a father was walking his young daughterto school. I saw them on 23rd Street. (Yes, I walk onother streets too.) The father had his Iphone out andhis earbuds in. The daughter was holding his hand andasking the father a question, which he did not hearbecause of his earbuds. She kept asking, her hand inhis. I almost answered her question but decided insteadof write about the incident.

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Authentic Insider | Page 25Missed Opportunity for ConnectionHere’s what’s bothering me. Connectivity. I do not meanconnection with the Internet. I am connection betweenparent and child. Walking is an opportunity to engage withone’s children. Walking to school is a time when a parentcan talk to his/her/their child, not necessarily about schoolbut about anything really — the walk, the scenery, theweather, life.When I took my now adult son to school many moons ago,whether walking or driving (depending on his age andwhich school), those were precious moments together. Ashe aged, the topics changed and sure, he did not alwayswant to talk all that much to his mother in those teenageyears. That said, we both remember those years. Myconnection with my son way way back then flooded mypresent with memories.The following are two memories that I think of fondly.Memory One: When my son was in pre-school, we walked together thefour city blocks to his school. He didn’t walk fast to be surebut I adored walking with him. It set my day straight as Iwould drop him off at his school and head to my school toteach. I remember the head of the school once remarkingto me that many parents brought their fully capable ofwalking children to/from school in a stroller, to speed upthe trip. “How unfortunate,” she remarked, “the kids runaround school and we teach them to balance and exerciseand play, and the parents just want to get themhere/home fast, instead of reinforcing their growingindependence.” Ouch.Authentic Insider | Page 31

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Authentic Insider | Page 32Memory Two: When driving my son to school some years later (it wasabout a 30 minute drive outside the city limits, dependingof course on traffic), we sometimes listened to Imus in theMorning on the car radio. (Is he still on?) Yes, his humorwas a tad on the raunchy side and surely off color, but hecould be funny and he was witty to be sure. He’s smart too.One of those mornings, Imus was running an on-air contestabout some fact involving his brother and his brother’s oddbehavior, and my son said he knew the answer. I pulled tothe side of the road; my son called into the show. Wewaited on hold for a few minutes; my son answered thequestion correctly and won the contest. (For real. I leaveout the details of the question and answer but I rememberboth vividly.) That stop made us late for his school day by acouple of minutes, and I apologized for the late arrival. Butthe whole experience was worth it; it created memories.Fast forward many many years, I shared this Imus storywith a friend and this person actually was listening to Imusway back then and remembered the actual call as it wasfunny. He recalled that Imus and my son chatted for a bit.He remembered the exact exchange: “Imus asked your sonif his mother knew he was calling the show.” He recollectedmy son’s answer: “She’s right here with me in the car, soyes.”Lessons: We all make parenting errors; that’s for sure. But,connecting with one’s child or children is criticallyimportant. It isn’t just about communication; it is also aboutcaring and attentiveness. It is about engagement with eachother; it is about making memories. It is about setting tone.It is about giving the gift of time, even when we are busyin our lives.Incident One and Two above are, for me, examples(symbolic of others I know) scare me. We complain thatchildren are so absorbed in their devices that they are nottalking and engaging. But, in these two examples, theparent was not engaging. In one instance, he literally hadhis daughter blocked out through his ear pods. And, shewas willingly engaging but to an empty room so to speak. Iknow work can be urgent but seriously, these parents (andothers like them) should have considered using those 10minutes to be in the present.So, rather than lamenting phones in school, might weinstead focus on some parents and how they engage (if atall) with their children? Instead of parents allowing schoolsto wrestle with cellphone use, why not consider how it isused in the family? I am not suggesting for even oneminute that cell phones be banned at home. But, might weencourage the use of them judiciously? Might we have ameal or a walk without our devices being attached to us?And, might we remove the ear buds so we can hear ourkids?Let me state that more directly: Parents (to whom thisapplies all the time or some of the time), please take outyour earbuds when walking to school with your child,absent a dire medical emergency or a natural disaster. Forreal. Your child needs to know you hear them.That last line is worth repeating and re-reading: ourchildren need to know we have the time to hear them.

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Authentic Insider | Page 35We’re thrilled to announce that the TAR Network istransforming into the STAR Network™ by the end ofOctober! This evolution represents far more than asimple name change—it marks a profound shift in ourmission and vision. STAR stands for “Survivor ofToxic Abusive Relationships,” and it’s a powerfulreminder of your strength, resilience, and unwaveringspirit. You’re not just surviving; you’re shining brightlyas the STAR you were always meant to be.Your journey to the STAR Network is already testament toyour courage. You’ve taken a step to reclaim your life,moving from victimhood to survivorhood, and that’s anextraordinaryachievement worth celebrating. By joining TAR Anon™and committing to your CPTSD recovery, you’veembraced the path of healing and transformationThe STAR Network’s logo beautifully captures thisjourney, featuring a broken heart being mended by goldenstitches—representing the process of rediscovering yourauthentic self. It’s a journey of reparenting, emotionalregulation, and connectingwith a compassionate community. As you navigate thispath, you’ll uncover your STAR power, the strength thathas always been within you.“Stay Gold, STAR, Stay Gold!” – This is more than just amantra; it’s a reminder to embrace your brilliance and letyour inner light shine and reach authenticity!Welcome to the Journey fromVictim to Survivor:You’re a STAR!You Are Not Alone, and You AreNot a Victim!

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The STAR Network, formerly the TAR Network, is hereto help you realize that You Are Not a Victim! You’re aSTAR! Your presence here signifies your journey fromvictim to survivor. You are a STAR—a Survivor of ToxicAbusive Relationships. This transformation is at the heart of what the STARNetwork represents. Our mission is to provide supportto individuals across generations affected by toxicparenting, relationships, workplaces, or societalstructures. We offer accessible programs andresources to break the cycle of intergenerationaltrauma, helping survivors heal and thrive. By focusingon attachment disorders, promoting truth, andencouraging authenticity, the STAR Network helpssurvivors embrace their true selves. We are based inSouth Florida, but we are spread across the globe,supporting this transformative movement.True healing begins from within and at the STARNetwork. We’re here to help you turn the scars fromtoxic relationships into STARs of hope and resilience.As co- founder Milena (Mila) Stankovic shares: “Healing from generational trauma is a challenging butbeautiful journey. Thanks to Dr. Jamie Huysman andthe work we’re doing with STAR Network, I’ve realizedthat we all have the power to become our therapists,reparent ourselves, and break free from the chains ofour past. My greatest wish is for everyone to discovertheir inner STAR power and heal from the trauma andscars that have held them back for so long.”From Scars to STARs: A Journey of TransformationAuthentic Insider | Page 36“Mental health is finally evolving to a more sensible,trauma-informed place where people can becometheir own therapists, retrain their brains, and re-parentthemselves after challenging childhoods. This shift iscreating profound changes, particularly in how weaddress Toxic Abusive Relationships (TAR). TAR iseverywhere, ingrained in our culture and society,affecting individuals from all walks of life.This is why the STAR Network exists—transforminglives, raising awareness, and helping those impactedby toxic relationships to find their way back tothemselves. Founded on the principles of truth,authenticity, and self-love, the STAR Network is a501(c)(3) foundation that is committed to eradicatingshame and stigma while empowering survivors toreclaim their lives.In the coming years, we anticipate agreater focus on addressing the deep-rooted impactof toxic relationships and environments. We’relearning more about how these experiences shapemental and emotional well-being. The STAR Networkstands as a beacon of hope, dedicated to bringingadvocacy, awareness, and transformation to thoseaffected by attachment disorders. As Dr. Gabor Matéencourages us, the question is shifting from “What’swrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Weembrace this mindset as we move forward withcompassion and empathy.”Dr. Jamie Huysman, ExecutiveDirector and Founder: Evolution of STAR Network

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Authentic Insider | Page 37A supportive global communityTrauma-informed guidance for emotionalregulationTAR Anon Family Caregiving Meetings: EveryWednesday at 6 PM EDT, providing:A safe space to share experiencesA global network of empathetic individualsTAR Anon Parental Alienation Meetings:Every Friday at 12 PM (noon) EDT, thesemeetings offer:Strategies to understand tactics ofcoercive control and learn how to self-regulate your emotionsCoping tools to manage emotions within aneuro-safe communityTAR Anon offers a program of recovery that helpssurvivors become self-aware, develop essential self-love, and embrace a trauma-informed approach tohealing.Together, we will move toward a future where mentalhealth is given the same importance as physicalhealth, where survivors of toxic abusive relationshipsreceive the support they deserve, and where STARNetwork leads the way in creating meaningful change.Stay Gold, STAR, Stay Gold!If you or your organization wants to be part of thisglobal effort to support survivors of Toxic AbusiveRelationships, reach out to us atcontact@starnetwork.org. Together, let’s help you uncover the STAR Powe withinourselves and rediscover the brilliance that’s beeninside you all along.To join our free support meetings, visit taranon.org.Welcome to the STAR Network! You are not a victim—you’re a STAR! At the heart of the STAR Network is TAR Anon, asanctuary for survivors to connect, share, and heal ina neuro-regulated space. This internationalfellowship provides a safe and nurturingenvironment where survivors can support each otheron their journey out of the darkness and into thelight. Our free virtual TAR Anon meetings remain everyMonday and Wednesday at 6 PM EDT. Mondays areopen to anyone affected by TAR, while Wednesdaysfocus on those who cannot easily “go no contact”with toxic individuals, such as caregivers, parents, orsiblings. These meetings offer survivors theopportunity to reclaim their lives, find communitysupport, and embrace their healing journey.STAR Network has partnered with over 140international organizations to launch ParentalAlienation (PA) meetings, recognizing that this is theworst form of child abuse. Dr. Jamie emphasizes theimportance of helping parents regulate themselves,find peace, and maintain inner strength whilebattling PA, a trauma that scars both parents andchildren. Through TAR Anon, we offer multiple freeweekly meetings: TAR Anon: A Global Fellowship for SurvivorsTAR 101 Meetings: Held everyMonday at 6 PM EDT, offering:

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Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed Psychedelic Assisted Therapy https://moxieschool.com/the-art-of-transformation/www.moxieschool.comheather@moxieschool.comConnect: The IFS Model (Internal Family Systems) is one of the fastest growing and most popularinterventions for working with psychedelics. Why? Because it's such a natural and effectivepairing for the material that expanded states naturally elicit. Fast track your opportunity to learn IFS by joining The Moxie School in this wildly exciting niche! If you want to learn IFS as it applies to expanded states, The Art of Transformation courseteaches effective methods to deeply anchor transformation in your clients. No matter whatstage of the process you are working: preparation, guiding, or integration, an IFS Informedapproach is key to supporting your clients in lasting transformational change. Lots of courses teach “about” psychedelic assisted therapy, this course teaches you the “how to” of doing interventions throughout psychedelic transformational work.Whether you are a therapist, coach, or guide - a medical professional, mental healthprofessional, or a mid-life career transition person - you are welcome! Bring your curiosity for IFS and your love for working with expanded states!LEARN MORETHE ART OFTRANSFORMAIONAll the detailsAuthentic Insider | Page 38

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As the mental health crisis reaches devastating levels post pandemic, more and more people arelooking for ways to manage their mental health. How does a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a veteran struggling with PTSD and an athletesuffering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), trauma, and addiction find effective healing andrelief? Psychedelics. A treatment that was studied and used as effective treatment for mental health disorders until itwas banned and categorized as a schedule I drug in the 1970s, psychedelics have providedmuch needed relief for thousands of people suffering from trauma and mental health issues.Regardless of the laws banning these treatments, the people who understood the power of thesemedicines feel more empowered to find ways to help others find healing through them. On thefollowing page click on the graphic to view the Proof of Concept for "Our Own PersonalRealities." An Upcoming Documentary about the Fight toBring Psychedelic Healing Back into the LightAuthentic Insider | Page 41

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““Higher” by Tyler James Bellinger “Beautiful Day” by U2“Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone“World on Fire” by Thirty Seconds to Mars“What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong“A Moment Like This” by Kelly Clarkson “Thankful” DJ Khaled feat. Lil Wayne & Jeremih“Grateful” by Rita Ora“Thank You” b Kehlani“Your Song” by Elton John“Best Friend” by Jason Mraz“Cool”by Gwen Stefani“Thank U” by Alan’s Morissette “At Last” by Etta James“Gratitude” by Earth, Wind & FireA BIT OF GRATITUDE The month of Gratitude brings somany expectations about what thatshould look like. However, onlyYOU know what brings youhappiness and gratitude. So checkout these tunes and find what setsyour soul on fire every morningand give your self that reminder tostart your day. Enjoy the tunes!The Gratitude PlaylistThe Gratitude PlaylistMUSICMUSICMUSICMUSIC

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Authentic Insider | Page 46Little Betsy will learn that happiness is made up of simple things inlife, both small and big. With the help of the magic stone, she will beginto feel gratitude for her parents, friends, and toys. But what happenswhen little Betsy forgets to use the magic of her stone? She will realizethat the power of gratitude is hidden in her heart."Gratitude is my superpower" will teach your little ones to appreciatethe warmth of home, time spent playing with friends, and familyrelationships.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Listening to My Body is an engaging and interactive book that guideschildren through the process of naming their emotions and the physicalsensations accompanying them. Teaching kids to tune into their bodies andname their feelings is a foundation for emotional regulation.From wiggly and squirmy to rested and still, Listening to My Body helpschildren develop a sensations vocabulary to help them express what they areexperiencing. It includes kid-friendly "Let's Practice" activities throughout thebook so children can practice what they're learning.We talk about our physical health - but not so much about how we're feeling.With lots of practical advice, this lively, accessible guide explains why we haveemotions, and what can influence them. Covering everything from friendships,social media and bullying to divorce, depression and eating disorders, this is anessential book for young people.

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Enlightened Approaches to Raising Your Vibration in Mind, Body, Spirit, andSoul.You are what you eat, think, feel, and how you live. Our experts provide aroadmap to wellness and pathways for disease prevention. Bask in the high-frequency practices and watch how a conscious shift in perspective changeseverything.The Box of Life offers a unique approach to living a purposeful life forindividuals of all ages. Inspired by an intergenerational friendship with herfriend Charles, Orit Ramler developed a philosophy and methodology forcreating a Box of Life—a collection of curated remembrances that reflect therichness of lived experiences. Through exploring Charles's life story, coachingothers, and creating her own Box of Life, Orit developed a series of questionsto help readers curate meaning in their lives, connect with their true selves,and leave a lasting legacy. She invites readers to answer the following: Whoam I? How am I living my life? What is most important to me? How do I want tobe remembered? What do I want to pass on to future generations?Delve into the world of Top Exotic Foods for Natural Healing. This eye-opening series is your passport to a world of incredibly unique foods thatembody remarkable healing properties hidden within the world's most exoticlocales.Unlock the secrets of ancient wisdom and modern science as you explore thebounty of foods from far off corners of the globe. From remote villages ofAsia to the distant lands of Africa, this book is your guide to theextraordinary health benefits of nature's most intriguing ingredients.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 47Mental Health Books (for adults)

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Someone could be holding back the truth regarding a situation while someone wishes toopen up and speak the truth. The feeling or energy could be a lot for someone to handle atthis point. This person could have gotten hurt from a past situation and it is still having anegative effect on them. I see November as a new beginning. Now is a time to take care of yourself. I feel like manycould be feeling stressed out due to work, family, and/or just a busy life. It's good to taketime out to recharge and breathe. Be sure to do activities that are going to help you relax.Whoever is reading this, I feel you are blessed and something good is coming. Only if youare on the good side of karma. If it's otherwise, the news might not be as exciting.This month could bring up some sexual desires. In love, I feel like a relationship could bemeant for you. Others could be disconnecting from people who are toxic, negative andhave bad energy.There are some people who could be feeling conflicted and defeatedbecause of a relationship. A certain person is hurting and could be crying at night. Theremay be some triggers that could be coming up for the collective. It may also be difficultto make a decision regarding a particular situation. Many are being called to have a strongsense of spiritual strength.I see that temptation or a distraction could be coming towards you, but you may feel theneed to ignore and block it out. That is the advice. Don't take it personal. Overall November is a time to protect your peace of mind at all cost. You deserve it at theend of the day. This is a great month to work on inner healing as an individual or as afamily dynamic. About JoyAbout JoyJoy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it herlife's work to help others throughlife coaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coachingservices from Joy and/or getyour own personal reading,please scan the barcode belowwith your smartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page 44