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AIM April Issue

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InsiderSEXUAL ASSAULTAWARENESS MONTHAbout 1 in 5 women and 1 in 33 menare victims of sexual assault. How canwe change the rape culture?TAKING BACK THE NIGHTHow working with dreams sparked one woman's healing journey & released traumaFROM FEAR TO FABULOUSHow healing energy helped one womanheal her chronic pain & her whole selfAPRIL 2022National StressAwarenessMonth: A Gen Z's POV

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Always, editor's noteDear Readers,The month of April offers important opportunities toaddress rape culture with Sexual Assault AwarenessMonth with AIM's Prosecutor POV by Kathryn Marsh.It's also, National Stress Awareness month with our GenZ POV by Daniela Ghelman who tackles what stressesare plaguing those soon to be entering the workforce.This issue also includes my top 5 ways to combat stress.Cali Binstock adds grounding and tapping techniques,along with her monthly piece, Healing through Art with aStress Relief video prompt.What are dreams made of? Many times, they reveal oursuppressed experiences. Marci Moberg shares how shehealed her trauma by taking back the night. Healing physical illnesses may need to start with healingenergy. Find out how Energy Healer, Teresa Bruni,healed her chronic illness to help her whole self.How can we help children who experience trauma?Children's book Author, Rylee Tuggle shares tips tobetter understand kids struggling with trauma.As with every issue, we have compiled a StressAwareness Playlist, along with my picks of children'sbooks to help understand stress. Plus, check out JoyLarkin's Twin Flame Readings to see what's in store foryou this month. Lorilee BinstockEditor in ChiefAuthentic Insider | Page 02Lorilee Binstock

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Kathryn MarshProsecutor POVJoy LarkinTwin Flame ReadingsCali BinstockCreative DirectorHealing Though Art:Lynn BinstockCopy EditorAuthentic Insider | Page 03Monthly Contributors

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Teresa BruniContributorFrom Fear to FabulousRylee TuggleContributorUnderstanding Childhood TraumaMarci MobergContributorTaking Back the NightAuthentic Insider | Page 04Daniela GhelmanGen Z POVApril ContributorsGen Z Contributor

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S T R E S SA W A R E N E S SApril ‘22Prosecutor's POV: 08 Sexual Assault AwarenessGen Z POV: 13 Stress is a B!TCHHealing Through Art: 39 Relieving Stress Through Art41 AIM Playlist42 Recommended Books44 Joy's ReadingBy: Rylee TuggleBy: Lorilee Binstock29 Understanding Kids wtih Trauma35 5 Ways I Combat StressBy: Teresa Bruni22 From Fear to Fabulous1722By: Marci Moberg17 Take Back the NightI N E V E R Y I S S U EI N T H I S I S S U E130829Authentic Insider | Page 0537 Grounding Techniques38 Tapping TechniquesBy: Cali BinstockBy: Cali Binstock

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“The greatestweapon againststress is ourability to choose one thoughtover another.”―WilliamJamesAuthentic Insider | Page 07

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April is Sexual AssaultAwareness Month pril is Sexual Assault AwarenessMonth #SAAM. Despite legal gains beingmade regarding sexual assault and sexualharassment, we are still living in a countrythat exhibits rape culture ideology. Thisideology includes doubting a survivor whocomes forward, looking for ways to justifyor excuse the actions of the perpetrator, ordeciding that the potential future harmcaused to a perpetrator outweighs thecurrent and ongoing harm suffered by asurvivor. Consider this – when is the last time youheard someone comment on how a victimwas dressed or how much they had to drinkif they were a victim of armed robbery, or aburglary?Do we question the choices thevictim made prior to the robbery? Whatabout the person who committed the armedrobbery? Do we hear talk on the news orsocial media justifying the crime? Whenhave you ever heard someone saysomething like the victim of a robbery hadpreviously loaned the perpetrator money,and therefore likely consented, or wouldhave consented to the money or belongingsbeing taken by force? How often do we hear,with regard to a perpetrator of an armedrobbery, that they have their whole life aheadof them so we don’t want them to have afelony conviction or receive a lengthy jailsentence that would ruin their chances of abright future? About 1 in 5 women and 1 in 33 men arevictims of sexual assault. These numbersare even higher when we look at collegestudents. Woman between the ages of 18-24, who are enrolled in college are 3x morelikely to experience sexual violence thantheir non-college counterparts. Male collegestudents, 5x more likely, and 21% ofTransgender, genderqueer or nonconformingBY KATHRYN MARSHAbout 1 in 5women and 1 in 33men are victims ofsexual assault. AAuthentic Insider | Page 08

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"Yet despite the prevalence of sexual assault, and the fact that almostevery single person will know someone who has been sexuallyassaulted, we still look at sexual assaults different than other crimesof violence."(TGQN) college students have been sexuallyassaulted. ( These numbers show usthat we have a sexual assault problem. Yetdespite the prevalence of sexual assault, and thefact that almost every single person will knowsomeone who has been sexually assaulted, westill look at sexual assaults different than othercrimes of violence. The questions we have to askourselves is why? And, how can we go aboutchanging this culture?We must first consider why victim/survivors don’tfeel they can report to law enforcement. Theanswers are varied but many survivors state thatthey didn’t report their sexual assault due to self-blame, embarrassment, shame, fear of retaliation,not understanding a crime had been committed,belief that nothing will happen, or that they won’tbe believed. Can you blame victims for thesefeelings? Consider how cases have played out inthe news. Look at the recent trial of GhislaineMaxwell and how the victims were accused ofwanting a payout, being prostitutes or consentingto the actions. Not many people would voluntarilysign themselves up to undergo that type of crossexamination.Look at the testimony of the survivors in the LarryNassar case. It was devastating how people inpositions of trust and the criminal justice systemlet them down. Why would survivors come forwardif this is how they are treated? McKayla Maroneytestified that “After telling my entire story of abuseto the FBI in the summer of 2015, not only did theFBI not report my abuse but when they eventuallydocumented my report, 17 months later, theymade entirely false claims about what I said… Iremember sitting on my bedroom floor for nearlythree hours as I told them what happened to me. Ihadn’t even told my own mother about these factsbut I thought as uncomfortable and as hard as itwas to tell my story, I was going to make adifference and hopefully protect others from thesame abuse… I began crying at the memory over thephone and there was just dead silence. I was soshocked at the agent’s silence and disregard frommy trauma. After that minute of silence, he asked,“Is that all?” Hearing those words was one of theworst moments of this entire process for me. Tohave my abuse be minimized and disregarded bythe people who were supposed to protect me, justto feel like my abuse was not enough.”Maggie Nichols testified that nothing was doneafter she reported the abuse of Larry Nassar either.“I am haunted by the fact that even after I reportedmy abuse, so many women and girls had to sufferat the hands of Larry Nassar… While my complaintswere with the FBI, Larry Nassar continued to abusewomen and girls. During this time, the FBI issued nosearch warrants and made no arrests.”Aly Raisman said “The agent diminished thesignificance of my abuse, and made me feel mycriminal case wasn’t worth pursuing.” These bravewomen sat in front of the world and told the storiesof their sexual assault and more importantly, theytold of the failures in the system. They put aspotlight on the failures in how society looks atperpetrators; how often special considerations aregiven to people in power, or special positions oftrust; how we are quicker to assume that the victimgot it wrong, misinterpreted the offender’s actions Authentic Insider | Page 09

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or played a role in the assault than we are toblame the abuser.The US gymnasts and the victims of JeffreyEpstein and Ghislaine Maxwell unfortunatelyare not unique. Their stories are ones manysurvivors have lived. From the victim thissummer who had a judge throw out a rapeconviction against Drew Clinton because hedidn’t want to sentence him to the mandatoryminimum sentence to the Judge whodetermined that it would be inappropriate tosend Christopher Belton, who pled guilty toraping four teenage girls, to prison and insteadjust imposed probation. We reinforce an ideathat survivors don’t matter, that their traumadoesn’t matter. Why would they come forwardwhen this is how a case is handled? Can youimagine this type of sentence being handeddown to someone who pled guilty to fourarmed robberies? Until we as a societydemand that sexual assaults be treated asseriously as all other crimes of violence andsupport victim survivors in the same mannerwe support other victims of crimes, we cannotexpect cultural change. This sexual assault awareness month shouldbe a month of action. I encourage everyone toread the entire transcripts of the US Gymnasts.Pick up the book “Know My Name” by ChanelAuthentic Insider | Page 10

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Miller or read her powerful victim impactstatement. Read “I have the Right To” byChessy Prout or “Things We Didn’t Talk AboutWhen I Was a Girl” by Jeannie Vanasco. Byreading the words of survivors, by examiningwhere there were system failures, andtriumphs, we can start to make importantchanges.This month take the time to talk to the youngpeople in your life. Make sure you are havinghonest conversations about consent and sex.If they don’t learn about it from you, who willteach them? If you don’t know where to start,check out the book “The Birds + Bees + YourKids” by Amy Lang. There is a treasure trove ofbooks for all ages dealing with consent at ageappropriate levels and books to help talk aboutsex as children get older.Support survivor led non-profit organizationsthat are working on education and prevention.Education on sexual assault is prevention. And,if you know a survivor, and statistically youwill, let them know you are a safe place.Lastly, for all survivors of sexual assault, Ileave you with the words of Aly Raisman asshe said it better than I ever could. “The first thing that I would want to say toanybody…suffering in silence or has beenthrough something really traumatic is that Isupport them, I believe them, and just bepatient with yourself, be kind to yourself, knowthat I’m struggling too. I’m still navigating howto heal from this. And healing is a rollercoaster. There are some days I feel better,some days I feel like I’m taking a bunch ofsteps backwards, and that’s okay. We’re allhuman, we’re all doing the best that we can.But I would encourage whoever is out therethat’s listening to tell someone whenever theyfeel comfortable. And it’s so important to havea good support system and a communityaround you. And if you’re someone out therethat doesn’t have a good support system,that’s okay. Sometimes it can take some timeto find a good support system, so I encourageyou to not give up until you find that supportthat you deserve. And just remember that Ibelieve you, I support you, you are not alone,and I encourage you to ask for help.”Authentic Insider | Page 11

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“Stress acts as anaccelerator: it will pushyou either forward orbackward, but youchoose whichdirection.”―Chelsea ErieauAuthentic Insider | Page 12

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I'm aware that I've experienced stress sincehigh school, but at a very low level. I'm thetype of person who "goes with the flow" andsees things from a very calm and peacefulperspective. But if I look back to where myintense bouts of stress and anxiety began, Iwill certainly know that it parallels the start ofthe pandemic. And as soon as I let stressenter my body, it spreads to different partswhere it finds comfort and forms some kind ofhabitat. Stress has chosen to live in mystomach, chest and hormones, so whenever Iget stressed, which happens almost everyday and several times a day, this strangeforce that has no shape or form, that we can'ttouch or see, starts to play its part.Stress Awareness Month f I was paid for the number of times I say I'm stressed during the day, I'd bedrinking champagne in a hot tuboverlooking the Eiffel Tower. Jokes aside,stress has been something I've beenstruggling with lately, and it makes memore stressed knowing that I wasn't likethis before. But we all experience stress.You can learn to control it andunderstand what triggers it, but youcan't escape it. Because stress is anemotion, it's human nature, and nomatter what you do to stop it, it seemsdestined to be with you (perhapsforever).B Y D A N I E L A G H E L M A N , G E N Z P O VIAuthentic Insider | Page 13

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IT'S EVEN MORE STRESSFULWHEN LISTENING TOPEOPLE IN MY INNER CIRCLEREADY TO START THEIRJOBS WHILE I'M STILLWAITING FOR EMPLOYERSTO ANSWER MY EMAILS ANDREVIEW MY APPLICATIONS. My stomach is the first that gives me a heads-upthat something’s wrong. Coincidentally, I foundout I had IBS three or four months into thepandemic. As soon as I realize I'm stressed, I feelmy stomach grow a couple of inches (I look like apregnant woman entering her second trimester,but it's just air). And because I'm so bloated, I feelsomething pulling my body downward, aheaviness that makes my breath uneasy andforces me to drink chamomile tea for the rest ofthe day. I also get some acne, chills, andsometimes worst of all, tachycardia. It's so scarybecause I can feel my heart beating so fast it'slike it's trying to run away from my body, like it'strying to run away from me. And since this usuallyhappens when I'm about to sleep, insomniafollows.My #1 stress trigger is school. My #2 is mygraduation date coming up soon. I haven't beenable to sleep well for the last two weeks becauseof the latter. I'm an international student, sograduation is double the stress for me because, inaddition to finding a job to start that adult life thatI have longed for, I have to find a job that canthen sponsor and give me a work visa. The reasonis that, more than wanting to, I need to stay in theUnited States since life in Venezuela (my home) isnot very promising. So yes, I'm graduating thissummer, and I have no idea what I'm doingnext. It's even more stressful when listening topeople in my inner circle ready to start theirjobs while I'm still waiting for employers toanswer my emails and review myapplications. And then there are these little things that addto the pyramid of stress my mind builds daily,like cooking (which I don't enjoy when I do itunder pressure), rushing to class because I'llbe late (not because I overslept, but because Iwas doing something important before),going to the gym (because I want to work outbut since I have so many things to do, itstresses me out even more), having mystories published and opening up to a wave offaces that will most likely only judge me. Oh,and the war in Ukraine (because still in the21st century, the world doesn't seem to learnfrom its mistakes).I didn't think about it until I started writing this,but there's a reason I get stressed. I getstressed because I care. I worry about school,the war in Ukraine, and getting a job because Iwant to stay in America after I graduate. And Iget stressed because everything is souncertain that I create these scenarios in myAuthentic Insider | Page 14

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head, which in the end, cause me morestress: what if I can't find a job, what if Idon't do well in this assignment, what ifthe leak in my apartment brings downthe whole roof, what if I have to move toanother apartment, what if Putinbecomes even crazier and… (I know itsounds dramatic, but the struggle isreal).Last week I was in a zoom class when Isuddenly had a very strong episode ofstress, the kind that makes my eyeswatery and my body shake. I realized Ihad trouble breathing, and I was there,thinking how stress can turn my bodyupside down, how I can feel so insecureand tormented by something, how mybody tolerates it and how my mind, nomatter how hard I try, can't stop it. Theonly possible solution for me was totake a nap to unplug from the chaos fora bit, only to wake up more stressedbecause time has flown by.The funny thing about stress is that it'stemporary. We know it. We just don't wantto believe it, but everything will work out,and if it doesn't, maybe it's for the best. Butwhy then is it so hard for me not to bestressed? What if I stop working too hardand don't get the results I need and want? Iguess it's a love-hate relationship. I'm notsure how healthy it is or how long my bodycan take it, but at this point, I might learn tocope with it. For now, I know it will be withme for a long time. At least until I figure outlife. But I've also found that stress can be agood thing. I've found that I work verywell under pressure (although I shouldstop doing that for my mental health –and my mom's). My best stories comeafter being so stressed that I had to runto the beach for inspiration because Icouldn't find another place to calm medown. I also know that I get stressedwhen I get out of my comfort zone,which can be challenging but excitingat the same time because it gives methe tools necessary to solve aparticular problem. I ALSO KNOW THAT I GETSTRESSED WHEN I GET OUT OF MYCOMFORT ZONE, WHICH CAN BECHALLENGING BUT EXCITING ATTHE SAME TIME BECAUSE IT GIVESME THE TOOLS NECESSARY TOSOLVE A PARTICULAR PROBLEM.Authentic Insider | Page 15

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“It’s not stress thatkills us, it’s ourreaction to it.”―Hans SelyeAuthentic Insider | Page 16

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ife as I know it came crashing down one Fall day. I was attending a soundbath. Something I had done many timesbefore. But this sound bath was unlikeany other. Because it opened me toremembering my childhood sexual abusefor the first time.The sound healing focused on our sacralchakra. An energy center connected toour creativity, sexuality, and reproductiveorgans, so it’s no surprise my abusesurfaced. But, at the time, I didn't thinkthis sound bath would be much differentthan past sessions. As I allowed myself to relax into asavasana position (relaxation pose) and letthe sounds flow over me, the image ofone of my spirit guides popped into mymind's eye. This wasn’t unusual since myguides often visited me in meditativestates. Not thinking much of it, I followedmy guide’s beckoning to climb down abasement staircase. And as my guideopened the door, a blinding light searedmy inner sight. I even remember squintingmy closed eyes at the intensity of thislight. By Marci MobergL

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What happened next surprisedme. A series of violent imagesunfolded. And as they did, Irecognized myself being sexuallyabused by an immediate familymember in the chaos. By the timethe sound bath completed, I feltdizzy, nauseous, and confused. These images haunted me forweeks. I knew I hadn’t made themup. In fact, they explained a lot ofmysteries in my life. But I alsodidn’t feel ready to deal with whatwas arising. As I tried to pushthese images aside, my alreadyactive dreamtime became moreignited. Nightmares haunted me formonths. My dreams left me feelingtrapped and struggling to escape.These scary dreams became anevery night occurrence for me andI came to expect stressful dreamsthat would leave me exhausted inthe morning. What I wasn’texpecting was for this to continuefor four months straight.Thankfully, I was already seeing atrauma therapist at the time. We’dbeen doing work together foryears, but this childhood abusewas not on my radar. When Ibrought it up to her, she wasn’tsurprised at all. All the signs ofbeing a survivor of childhoodsexual abuse were there. Obviousin my patterns, habits, and stories. This is when my nightmares wentfrom general fear to specificmemories. I found myself floodedwith night terrors in the monthsthat followed. Each new layer oftrauma emerged through mydreams and my body first. Laterfinding their way into my therapysessions. Night terrors are episodes wherepeople wake up from sleepterrified. They can includeThis is when mynightmares wentfrom generalfear to specificmemories. Ifound myselfflooded withnight terrors inthe months thatfollowed. Authentic Insider | Page 08

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"Working with my dreams in thisway also taught me where I wasin my trauma healing process."screaming, intense fear, and flailing while asleep.Experts often understand night terrors as a sleepingdisorder found in childhood and less often in adults. Unlike the standard explanation, it was obvious tome that my night terrors were from my trauma. Mybody’s and psyche’s attempt to process mysuppressed childhood and adult sexual trauma. Thememories and impacts of the trauma remainedtrapped in my body for decades and a part of thesymptoms from my complex PTSD. Now that I wasfinally in a safe and healthy relationship, my bodywanted to push my past out.I was familiar with nightmares. In fact, they were apart of my life for as early as I can remember. Bythis time, I had a well-established dream practice.Instinctively, I knew my night terrors were there tohelp me. Not hurt me. And so, I made the toughand courageous decision to lean into my dreams. During the years that followed, I made sure to recordmy dreams. The confusing, the scary, and thedifficult. I tracked recurring themes that emerged.And I noticed how therapy sessions impacted mydreamtime and visa versa. Over time, I developed anability to go back and revisit dreams. I found itimportant to explore dreams that felt important andincomplete. This created opportunities for me to seekfurther answers. I rewrote hopeless moments in apowerful way, and recovered my buried inner truths. Working with my dreams in this way also taught mewhere I was in my trauma healing process. And whatmy nervous system needed. For example, repeatedlyunable to call 911 in dreams meant my body wasstuck in freeze responses. And when I was finally ableto get through to help in a dream, I saw this as areflection of how my psyche was healing andrestoring my sense of autonomy and agency. Authentic Insider | Page 19

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Marci Moberg is an intuitive soul guide, shadowworker, and plant spirit teacher. She has a passion forreconnecting sensitive souls to their intuitive nature toheal their past and sense of belonging to the animateearth. Marci empowers big-hearted empathic peopleto stand in their power, trust their intuition, andembody their truth. Guiding clients through deepunderworld and magical otherworld journeys. Herwork includes mentoring individuals and groupsdrawing from a rich fusion of ancient and modernapproaches including: plant and fungi spirit medicine,dreamwork, ancestral lineage healing, shadowintegration, past life regression, somatic approachesto trauma resolution, life coaching, mindfulness, andsacred ritual. She teaches plant spirit classes throughher Patreon and is the teacher of Intuition Unlocked:the life-changing course on practical intuitiondevelopment. Marci has been featured on theMindBodyGreen, Huffington Post, Reader’s Digest,Bustle, ThriveGlobal, and Andinterviewed for her expertise on television, radio, andmany podcasts.The nightmares changed as I healed. I wentfrom frozen and unable to move in scary dreamsto running away. Even fighting back. Andeventually able to speak my truth and stand upfor myself. These dreamtime changes reflectedthe hard work I completed in therapy and theway I reclaimed my power and rediscovered mylost truth bit by bit through dreamwork.These changes were also significant. My abuseoften happened in the middle of the night. Atime of day associated with trauma for my brainand body. As I worked with my dreams andprocessed my trauma, I took back the night tobecome my own. Nighttime became a source ofpower and healing. How can you work with your own dreams tosupport healing your trauma? I’ll tell you in mynext piece in the May issue of Authentic Insider.Stay tuned for three ways you can work withyour dreams to heal. You can learn more about Marci and follow her inspiring tips on herpodcast Tune In with Marci and website I worked with mydreams and processedmy trauma, I took backthe night to become myown. Nighttime became asource of power andhealing. Authentic Insider | Page 20

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“To experience peace does not mean that yourlife is always blissful. It means that you arecapable of tapping into a blissful state of mindamidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”―Jill Botte TaylorAuthentic Insider | Page 21

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F R O M F E A R T O F A B U L O U S– A S T O R Y A B O U TO V E R C O M I N G T R A U M A was lying in bed wide awake in the middle of the night wondering howI got here. The year was 1996, and I wassick. I had been on disability for sevenlong years. I felt lost, powerless, and overwhelmedwith despair. I didn't recognize my life ormyself. And I didn't know what to do tochange things. I was lost, living in anunfamiliar world full of struggle, worry,and fear. It seemed that no matter howhard I tried, I could not get well.Before this illness, I had always beenhealthy and physically strong. Theburning questions were, how did I gethere, and how do I get back?When I first started having symptoms, Iasked my doctor for a physical. Nothingshowed up in the lab tests, and I was sostrong physically that he told me therewas nothing wrong. He handed me aprescription for antidepressants and sentme for stress management. Although Ithought he must be mistaken, I trustedhim and followed his instructions. By: Teresa Bruni, Certified Professional Coach, a Certified Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, PSYCH-K®Preferred Facilitator, PER-K® Catalyst, HeartMath® Certified Practitioner, and Muscle Testing MasterIAuthentic Insider | Page 22

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In his defense, I suppose someone deeply immersedin the 'science' of medicine and looking for proof butfinding none may not see other options for acondition such as mine. I didn't know what to expectfrom doctors. I wasn't experienced with being ill, andI didn't know how to manage this situation. Inaddition to my health, this mysterious illnessaffected my career, finances, and relationships–myentire life.Despite his diagnosis, I knew there was somethingwrong. I was sick. Even the most basic tasks becamemore and more challenging. After nearly two years of going from doctor todoctor, I was fortunate enough to be directed to animmunologist at a local medical university. Hisspecialty was pediatric immunology and infectiousdisease. When the day arrived for my appointment, I foundmyself at a hospital surrounded by a sea ofchronically ill children, some terminal. Childrenwalked around pushing their IV stands, some baldfrom chemo. It was a devastating experience andseemed surrealistic. I felt like I was living in anightmare.The doctor examined me, drew four large vials ofblood, and prepared to run every test imaginable.Shortly afterward, I was officially diagnosed withChronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia anddirected to other doctors for treatment. Theblessing of having a diagnosis washed over me andgave me hope even though there was no knowncure. These new doctors gave me pills–pills to sleep andfor energy. Pills for headaches and joint pain. My"I was unaware that I was ona decade-long journey thatwould lead me to the depths ofchronic illness and then to themiracle of recovery."Authentic Insider | Page 23

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muscle strength was gone. The simplest tasks, suchas taking out the trash, would make my joints achefor days. I had three major surgeries during thoseyears. Pretty serious stuff for someone who onlywent to the hospital to visit other people.My corporate career that I worked so hard to buildwas on hold. I couldn't read for long periodsbecause of my inability to concentrate. Everything,and I mean everything, was a struggle. I was losing hope of ever recovering and felt acomplete loss of control over my own life. My newcareer was one of doctor visits. Being on disabilityreduced my income significantly and was exhausting mysavings. I worried about how I would pay the bills. Thesimplest pleasures were outside my budget. There's onlyone way to put it—life sucked.I was unaware that I was on a decade-long journey thatwould lead me to the depths of chronic illness and then tothe miracle of recovery.After seven long and painful years, it became clear thatWestern medicine couldn’t get me well. Seeing only twopossible choices, continue to live this way forever or findmy own way back to health, I became determined to findanswers.I had my work cut out for me. I read as much as possiblewith my limited concentration. Since the Internet was nota resource then, I found myself surrounded by books onhealing of every type. But there was still somethingmissing. And I was determined to find it!I tried to be strong and live a normal life, only to suffersetbacks. One day I decided to surrender, to come to anacceptance of where I was, and to stop pushing. I thoughtsurrender meant giving up, so I resisted it until now. Surrender was a beautiful gift that allowed me to bepresent and acknowledge where I was. It provided atremendous sense of relief as if someone handed me amap marked with an arrow and the words, "You are here."I read about how our emotions affect our health, but Iwasn't convinced. In my opinion, they were completelyseparate. I believed my body was breaking down for aphysical reason. I thought it had to be an outside force—maybe polluted air, water, or food that lacked nutrition. Iwas wrong. Those things were contributing factors, butthey were not the root cause of my dis-ease.Surrender was a beautiful gift thatallowed me to be present andacknowledge where I was.Authentic Insider | Page 24

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It's no surprise that I ended up in a bad marriage. Ithought I had married my best friend. But theemotional and mental abuse began once therelationship was sealed by marriage. Years later, when physical abuse became a threat, Ileft. I was having none of that. I felt betrayed. Thevery person to whom I had handed my heart returnedit completely shattered. I was beyond devastated andquestioned my ability to trust again.Walking away and divorcing everyone who hadmistreated me seemed logical. I thought, "Get away,and the pain will stop. They can't hurt me any longer." But the pain didn't stop. Failing to deal with theunderlying issues of anger, shame, betrayal,abandonment, and destroyed self-esteem would takeits toll and cause me to become ill. I was beginning to find the answers I had beensearching for on that long and lonely night in 1996. Itwas time to reclaim my self-worth and take backcontrol of my life.Looking back, it is easy for me to see the connection. AsI started to work on my emotional health, recognizing,challenging, and releasing my fears, I began to recover.I had been through a painful divorce just before gettingsick. Actually, I went through two divorces: one from myhusband and one from my abusive family. I grew up in an abusive household. My parents wereconstantly arguing, and my father physically abused mymother on two occasions. I think my most vivid memorywas when I was about three years old. My subconscioushas blocked so much from my memory. That night, as the argument escalated, it started tobecome violent. Despite having five older siblings, I wasalone, hiding under a bed, terrified. My mother found me when the torment was over andurged me to come out. During the argument, I heard herthreaten to leave. When she rescued me, I said, 'Mommy,if you leave, will you please take me with you?"By the time I was nine years old, I had sufferedemotional, physical, verbal, mental, and sexual abuse.And it continued for several more years. All that abuse diminished my self-worth to nearly zero. Ididn't feel worthy of anything. Even at my corporate job, Ifelt like a fraud. I feared that if they knew who I reallywas, I'd be fired.This experience taught me that all of us have theanswers we need inside us. It is what I call "our internaltruths." By the time I was nine yearsold, I had suffered emotional,physical, verbal, mental, andsexual abuse.Authentic Insider | Page 25

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No single treatment would have worked. It wasonly with a combination of all my treatments that Irecovered. It was my full-time job to get well, and Itook that job seriously. But the most importanttreatment of all was dealing with the emotionalbaggage I had neatly packed away, layer upon layer,and carried with me everywhere for so many years.To recover, I would need more than anything toregain my self-worth and value as a person.This experience taught me that all of us have theanswers we need inside us. It is what I call "ourinternal truths." You were born with them. We allwere. It's a matter of learning how to tap into themagain. Following my intuition and trusting myself led meto the answers I needed to get well. The answersthat had always been there.I also learned that chronic physical conditions arecaused by prolonged unresolved fear. Chronic fearkeeps you from living to your fullest potential andtakes a physical toll on your body. Once these fearsare faced, the body is allowed to heal. Today I can truly appreciate my past for all ittaught me. That's what forgiveness does. It allowsyou to see the gifts tucked deep inside a tragicsituation. Without all my life experiences, Iwouldn't be the person I am today. I used Eastern and Western medicine combined,taking the best from both. I empowered my healingby making well-informed decisions. I questionedevery medical treatment offered. The responsibilityto get well was mine, and I was serious about it. I never felt I had control over anything in my life.Beginning to take back my power was a big step. Istarted looking within and listening to my intuition,my inner voice. I developed a daily practice ofvisualizing and meditating. The consequences of all those years of abuse hadleft a deep wound in my heart and caused me tomask my soul and inner guidance. When a child issubjected to abuse or other horrific events, and thetrauma is not healed, the child's soul begins to getmasked over. Inherently, the child knows that theabuse is wrong but doesn't have the intellectualcapacity to make sense of it. So, the child does theonly thing they know to do–rationalize thebehavior by developing false beliefs such as, "Itmust be my fault, I must not be worthy." I would soon discover that my recovery quickenedby forgiving everyone, myself included. I wasregaining my purpose, clarity, joy, and self-esteem.As that happened, I began to remove the maskfrom my soul and relearn to trust my innerguidance system. This experience taught me that all of ushave the answers we need inside us. It iswhat I call "our internal truths. Authentic Insider | Page 26

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Every person is born with enormous value andpurpose and a remarkable, never-failing internalguidance system. And no person has the right toinflict abuse on another in any form. Forgivenesscomes more easily, and healing begins when oneunderstands that it is the abuser who is trulydisconnected from self.Our bodies are our compass. When we go off trackemotionally, we get physical signals to alert us. Itcould be anything from a skin rash to a sore joint.Ignore the signs, and they worsen, eventuallycausing us to have accidents or develop chronicconditions, some that require invasive treatments. Fear, anger, resentment, judgment, hatred, blame,self-loathing, jealousy - all those emotions must beresolved for the body to heal. And the sooner, thebetter. It doesn't take a barrage of assaults overmany years like I experienced. It could be onesingle experience that shatters your heart,diminishes your trust, or causes you to questionyour self-worth. It's all reversible. Like me, you canheal.I have been completely recovered and living a fullyengaged life since 1999, when I went back to workfull-time. Some of my relationships have beenrepaired, and some have not. The truth is thatsome toxic relationships have to end. It is entirelypossible to "love from afar." I am worthy of love andrespect, and I am unwilling to accept anything less. Is life perfect? No, and I don't expect it to be. WhatI have now, that I was starved for in the past, iscontrol over my destiny. And it feels fantastic! Youcan have it too when you commit to doing thework!Available on Amazon and other book retailersAuthentic Insider | Page 27

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“We can easily manage ifwe will only take, eachday, the burdenappointed to it. But theload will be too heavy forus if we carry yesterday’sburden over again today,and then add the burdenof the morrow before weare required to bear it.”―John NewtonAuthentic Insider | Page 28

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hen people see someone upset, thefirst thing most people think is: “Take adeep breath.” However, when someonetells me to “calm down” or “take a deepbreath,” it has the opposite effect. I wantto scream, my heart rate accelerates, Itense up, and I want to physically getthat pent-up energy out. So, what canyou do in those situations? Humans are all different. We are alwayslearning, and we respond based on pastexperiences. When a person is scolded,that person can respond in a variety ofways. They may shut down, yell, or cry. Butthe person’s responses are learned andshaped over time by how others respondand the environment they are in. Let’s look at an example: I am scolded.Sometimes, I cry, and other times I yellby Rylee Tuggle, M.Ed., BCBAback. Every time I am scolded and cry, Iam sent to my room where my videogames are. Every time I am scolded foryelling back, I am yelled at more. If I likevideo games, I will probably cry moreand yell less. But, if I rarely get attentionor interactions and am always on myvideo games, I may engage in yellingback. This isn’t a conscious learningprocess; it is something that happensover time. Since all humans and trauma aredifferent, it is important that adultsworking with children with trauma 1) understand children are children, notadults, 2) don’t assume a child has a skillor skill set, 3) provide their child with avariety of coping skills, and 4) putthemselves in their shoes.Authentic Insider | Page 29W

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1. Children are Children, Not AdultsImagine being a child with limited or nounderstanding of 1) how to identify whyyou feel the way you feel, and 2) how toengage in a behavior that is healthyand safe that helps alleviate the “whyyou feel this way” (engageinappropriate coping skills). As adults,caregivers, and/or parents, our goalshould never be to make a child dosomething but to figure out why thechild is having a hard time withsomething: it could be a familiar smellor sound, too many sounds, or thelocation.Figure out what would help the child byoffering options. As adults, we canproblem-solve for the child by seeing thebigger picture and more options. a) Offer options that may seem obvious.Sometimes, they just need to know thatthere are options: “Do you want to take 5minutes in your room and come back outafter?” OR “You don’t have to finish that rightnow. You can take a few minutes to ___.Then come finish it.” b) Stop the escalation and encouragecoping skills before it’s too late. c) When everyone is calm, talk about it. “Itlooked like you were getting a littlefrustrated earlier. Let’s talk about whathappened.”Authentic Insider | Page 30

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2. Don’t Assume a Child Has a SkillThere’s an old saying, “a square pegdoesn’t fit in a round hole.” Whydoesn’t the square fit in the roundhole? Because it doesn’t match. Whendid you learn this? What skills do youneed to know to understand thisphrase? You need to know 1) shapesand 2) matching. These pre-requisiteskills of knowing your shapes andunderstanding matching are crucialin understanding this. Otherwise, itwouldn’t make any sense, literally ormetaphorically. Similarly, as humans, we areconstantly learning new skills. Someskills we learn very young and don’tremember learning, such as shapesand matching. Some we learn as weget older, such as on job sites; theseskills tend to build on each other.However, sometimes, there are gapswhere a set of skills are missed. Thishappens a lot in the neurodiversepopulation or those with trauma. It’stypically called “masking.” I fit intothis category for both reasons. Themain set of skills I was missing mostof my life was emotional in nature. Ilearned when and where I wassupposed to show empathy-likebehaviors. However, I didn’tunderstand emotions like sadness,embarrassment, love, or emotionalpain. But I knew anger. So, whathappened if I felt something I didn’tunderstand? I got angry, or I shutdown and felt nothing. It wasn’tsomething I wanted to do. I didn’thave a choice. I didn’t have any otherskills. This worked for me and helpedme cope with the situation. Like otherchildren with trauma, my reactionscame from these emotionalidentification and coping skill deficits. I am not alone in behaving like thisdue to emotional needs and copingskill deficits. In general, maladaptivebehaviors are learned when a child(or adult) has skill deficits. Therefore, itis important that, as adults, we don’tassume a child has a skill set,especially regarding emotionalidentification, perspective-taking,and coping skills. The goal shouldalways be to teach skills before theneed for them arise and practicethem when the child is calm. That way,when a child needs the skill, it’s likemuscle memory.Authentic Insider | Page 31

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3. Give Your Child a Variety of CopingSkillsEvery child has different needs. So, theircoping skills will be different. Evensiblings may need variations orcompletely different coping skills. Giveyour child a variety of coping skills intheir repertoire to choose from. Ensurethat there are variations for differentsettings. For example: Physical activity coping skills fordifferent locations: public – walkaround the store or up and down themall; home – race in the backyard; inplace – squeeze stress balls or pretendlemons; structured – join a sports teamor club. Practice them frequently when yourchild is calm.4. Put Yourself in Their ShoesThe last parting advice I have is: Putyourself in your child’s shoes. Is whatyou are saying/asking something thatyou would tolerate? Telling me to take adeep breath doesn’t work for me. So,why would I expect it to work forothers? I want to find the coping skillthat does. Your child may not be able totell you what works, but they will tell youwhat doesn’t. Listen to them. Doesexplaining to them in the middle of apanic attack work? Probably not. Justlike explaining to you why you’re wrongafter an argument doesn’t work.Remember, it’s not what should work,but what does work for your child. Authentic Insider | Page 22

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“The greatestmistake you canmake in life is to becontinually fearingyou will make one.”―Elbert Hubbard Authentic Insider | Page 33

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AdvertiseHereE M A I L : L O R I L E E @ B I N S T O C K M E D I A G R O U P . C O MT O A D V E R T I S E W I T H U SA U T H E N T I C I N S I D E R M A G A Z I N EA U T H E N T I C I N S I D E R M A G A Z I N E

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5 ways to combat stress TAKE A WALK IN NATUREBOX BREATHINGStress is the body’s response to challenges or demands. Everyoneexperiences stress, which can be triggered by a range of events,from small daily hassles to major changes like a divorce or job loss.Stress can be positive or negative and there are healthy ways tomanage with it. Below are a few of my go to ways to relieve stress.Authentic Insider | Page 35Step 1: Breathe in counting to four slowly. Feelthe air enter your lungs.Step 2: Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try toavoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4seconds.Step 4: Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you feel re-centered.

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YOGA/STRETCH5 ways to combat stressLISTEN TOMUSICMost of the time, in stressful moments, it can be hard to shift intothese stress relievers. I suggest doing what helps you combatstress daily as a form of self-care, even if it's for 5 or 10 minutes.CREATE ARTAuthentic Insider | Page 36See Healing through Art on Page 39

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Tapping, also known as EFT (Emotional FreedomTechnique), is a powerful stress relief technique. Tappingis based on the combined principles of ancient Chineseacupressure and modern psychology. Studies have shown that Tapping decreases cortisol (oftencalled the stress hormone) in your body. The World HealthOrganization has announced that stress is the healthepidemic of the 21st century. This is because stress is linked to anxiety, weight gain,sleep problems, lack of motivation, chronic pain, stomachissues, and depression. Tapping is proven to reduce stress,lower cortisol, improve sleep, reduce anxiety, relieve pain,increase productivity, and so much more! Stress is also detrimental to your immune system becausewhen you're stressed, your immune system's ability to fightoff antigens is reduced, and you are more susceptible toinfections. Tapping helps to lower stress, and in turn,allows your immune system to do its work! is Tapping?Authentic Insider | Page 38

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Healing throughthe ArtsDestressing through ArtAuthentic Insider | Page 39❤ , CaliJoin me in this simple exercise to releasestress quickly through art!

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Supplies:Paper (printer paper is great forthis!)PencilsColored PencilsFelt MarkersStep 1: Write down anything that is stressful right now in pencilAnything small or big like a work project and everything in between,whatever comes up for youStep 2: Choose some colors and make marks.What does stress look like? What shapes, lines, and colors is it? Try pushing harder to see what it feels like. Let it all out onto the paper.Step 3: Take a deep breath in, sigh out.You have released what you needed to.Step 4: Face your drawing, then crumple it up.Open it up to release the tension. Crumple it again, use it like a stress ball.Open it up again and feel it getting softer, imagine your stresssoftening too. Repeat one last time.Finally, rip the paper over and over feeling it get lighter, imagineyour stress lightening and breaking up as well.Take a breath in, release it and pay attention to how you are feelingnow. Is there a change? I hope this has helped you relieve some stress and allow morepeace into your body and mind. Healing throughthe ArtsAuthentic Insider | Page 40by: Cali Binstockdestressing through artSIMPLE ART EXERCISE TO RELEASE STRESS STEP BY STEP:

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JazzClassicalRain and wind sounds Music serves such a large and impactfulpurpose in our life. Whether we are sad orstressed we can turn to music as a form oftherapy. Music has the potential to influence usboth psychologically and physiologically. It is animportant area for stress management. Musicalso has the power to help us identify and evenexpress our feelings associated with stress.Music connects with the automatic nervoussystem. It can directly relate to our brainfunction, blood pressure and heartbeat. Ournervous system releases stress hormones likeadrenaline and cortisol. Ultimately listening tomusic can help us manage our stress better andrecover faster.Research shows that the following types ofmusic can serve as stress relievers. Creating a playlist for activities can increaseenjoyment. For example, listening to a playlistwhen getting ready, commuting, doing chores,or winding down for bed can increase your stateof relaxation.De-stress PlaylistMusic brings us pleasure and releases our suffering. It can calm usdown and pump us up. It helps us manage pain, sleep better and bemore productive.Lo-Fi Beats Acoustics ClassicalAmbientRain SoundsInstrumental Jazz Chill Piano ChillAuthentic Insider | Page 43

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Everyone will experience stress in life. However, learning how to manage stress is askill that can be beneficial to learn at a young age. Below are books that educate andhelp children with how to effectively cope with stress and trauma.Created for kids 5 years and above, this story helpschildren understand more about the physicalsymptoms of anxiety and why it feels the way itdoes.When Esperanza finds a heart-shaped rock, she sees it asa reminder to spread kindness and love in the world. Butwhen the school play doesn’t go the way she’d hoped, willshe remember to show it to herself?Listening with my Heart reminds us of the other goldenrule-- to treat ourselves with the same understanding andcompassion we give to others. It also touches on theuniversal themes of friendship and empathy. Includes kid-friendly mindfulness and self-compassion activities.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 42This book is designed to be a support tool thatidentifies and defines trusted and safe people. Itthen validates your child’s emotions while providingtools to help safely express them. Your child willlearn different coping skills to process their trauma.We hope to help your child on their healing journey.

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Mental Health, Memoir & EmotionalSupport Books(Adult)The Epitome of Kimmy: Accept and Embrace it All, is an eye-opening memoir that takesyou beneath the surface into some of the harshest realities of a child’s life. It is theunfiltered true story of Kimberly Anne Bell, who is faced with a life of abandonment,sexual and physical abuse from a young age. As you read on, you will sense the traumaand silent pain as well as the divine intervention in her life that allowed her to overcomeand be who she is today.When Abby Maslin's husband, TC, didn't make it home on August 18, 2012, she knewsomething was terribly wrong. Her fears were confirmed when she learned her husbandhad been beaten by three men and left for dead mere blocks from home, all for his cellphone and debit card. The days and months that followed were a grueling test of faith.As TC recovered from a severe traumatic brain injury that left him unable to speak andwalk, Abby faced the challenge of caring for - and loving - a husband who nowresembled a stranger. At the heart of Abby and TC's unique and captivating story are the universal truths thatbind us all. This is a tale of living and loving wholeheartedly, learning to heal afterprofound grief, and choosing joy in the wake of tragedy.From the age of four, Eve wandered through a maze of injustice, exploitation, and unthinkableparental betrayal. After escaping home at the age of fifteen, it disheartened Eve to find thather childhood was only the beginning of a road fraught with violent relationships.Come along on her journey of perseverance through intense psychotherapy as she learns itis possible to not only survive the after-effects of deep childhood trauma but break thegenerational cycle for her own family.*I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.Authentic Insider | Page 43

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For the month of April, I see that acceptance and surrender is needed. It’s time to release people, places andthings in your life that are no longer serving you, making you happy and/or aligning with your highest ideals ofyourself. Some may feel regret as certain situations play out.If you are in a relationship, I feel like you are meant to be with this person. For some singles, you will bemeeting someone very soon and creating a family with this person. A lot have mastered a spiritual lesson inlife. Take the lessons you have learned and be sure to apply them in the future.For other singles, you may just want to be alone right now. You are still healing from past relationships andeven dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), along with issues of childhood trauma. It isrecommended to reach out to professional help, like a counselor or a therapist. This can really help you andothers during this time. Just know everything will be okay. With so much going on in the world, you have tomake self-care a priority, as always,Those who are striving towards a goal or dream, you are close. Keep going and don’t give up. Now is a time foraction. There is a need for self-love or those who are in relationships to bring more love into the situation.Don't let the past hold you back. You will be successful in any venture you are working towards. The hard workyou have been putting in is going to pay off.Be bold and make the first move in any area in your life. Be confident. Know that prosperity lies ahead.Financial abundance is coming as well. Luck is on your side. Don't be afraid to try new things.For many, the universe is going to be supporting you as you devote yourself to your divine life purpose. Youmay have many options. It’s time to explore and weigh your options on your career choices. Have courageand believe it will work out. Trust and take action and leave the rest to the universe. Many of you havedeclared your life’s purpose to bring divine healing and love to the worldThere may be some that are going back to school to study and learn about themselves and others. But overalltrust your feelings and dreams to guide your career path or life’s path.Take your time and really think about now and the future. Many of you are so strong and have gained strengthfrom past experiences. Keep going. Have faith in yourself and your dreams. You got this. Until next time. :)Monthly Collective Readings for All Signswith Joy Larkin (April 1, 2022 - April 30, 2022) Joy is a Narcissistic AbuseSurvivor who has made it herlife's work to help others throughlife coaching. She is also a healer,earth angel and psychic medium.If you would like coachingservices from Joy and/or getyour own personal reading,please scan the barcode belowwith your smartphone camera.READINGSPersonalINFOCoachingAuthentic Insider | Page 44