AIAC Tale of Two Prison Visits : simplebooklet.com

The Advocacy in Action Coa lition (AIAC) isan o rgani zation that suppo rts individ uals whowant to take a more active role in advocati ngfor their loved ones withi n the crimi nal legalsyst em. AIAC pr ovides resources, guidance,and a community of like-mi nded i ndivi dualswho are passion ate about m aking adiff erence.Thro ugh AIAC, y ou can access edu cationalmate rials , work shops, and training pr ogramsdesi gned to enh ance your a dvocacy ski llsand knowl edge. These resou rces c over awide rang e of t opics, incl uding navig ating thecriminal legal system, und erstanding rightsand polic ies, a nd effectiv ely communi catingwith key stakeh olders.Addi tiona lly, A IAC offers a platform forconn ectin g with other advo cates, sharingexpe rienc es, an d exchangin g ideas. Th iscomm unity-drive n approach foster scollabora tion a nd support, enabling y ou tolearn fro m othe rs who have faced similarchal lenge s. To learn more, visit our websit e:AIAC welcomeABOUT US Join our Team!5

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The AIAC team is profoundlythankful for the 2023 Working Groupwho participated in developing andco-authoring this project:Dr. Avon Hart-Johnson, AIAC ChairMs. Kayla Victor, Chair,InterNational Prisoner’s FamilyConference Working GroupMs. Allegra PocinkiDr. Amanda LewisMs. Angela HallMs. Barbara AllanMs. Cheryl DutescuMs. Dianne BruceMs. Jess AngelMr. Jim PragerMs. Julia LazareckMs. Julie UribeMs. Premilla Dixit-NagMs. Vetta DunstonContributors Ms. Braunwynn FranklinDr. Geoffrey JohnsonMs. Jolyn ArmstrongMs. Monalisa JohnsonDr. Monique TateMs. Rita Dixit-KubiakMs. Shannon LuperMs. Tiffany GreenOUR TEAMA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group6

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The tw o s cenarios pr ov ided are: A P la nnedVisit a nd an Unpla nn ed V is it. While p la nninga visi t i ncludes so m e level of pr ep ar ation, weuse th e se terms loos el y. From thesescenar i os, readers w il l reflect u po n how eachrole e n counters st re ss w hen visits ar e notoptima l ly planned th rough inten ti onalstrate g ies and pre pa ra tion to red uc e stress.First, ch aracter pro fi le s are prese nt ed ,follow e d by scenar io s. SIMULATIONINSTRUCTIONS PART IThe following simulation/content providesinsights regarding hypothetical prison visitexperiences from 5 perspectives: A six-year-oldchild; a caregiver; a prison receptionist; a prisonvisiting room guard; and the incarceratedindividual. Each role is depicted from individual points ofview illustrating periods before and during thevisit. The goal is to provide readers and/or avirtual audience with an opportunity to reflecton the experience of each person through thelens of empathy, while also identifying keystressors and methods of building self-awareness and stress reduction.A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group7

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INSTRUCTIONS PT IINote about language. While we strived tocapture common language and experiencesacross cultures, we recognize that somepeople will not experience the samesituations. When using content from thisguide, please feel free to substitute relatablescenarios that are comfortable for use whenexplaining such terms as prison visits, metaldetectors, stress responses, and other terms.Also, consider using age/developmentally-appropriate language when conveying lifeevents with your child.Note about photos: We deliberately usedgraphics and photos that conveyed a desiredstate: love, bonding, growth (as symbolized byplanting “seeds” and ideas as growth). A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working GroupAlways do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.--Og Mandino8

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LEARNING ABOUT STRESSWe all have stress. How we manage this condition is whatmakes us distinct. Each of the character profiles includes experiences of stress. Stress is anormal response to new, unfamiliar, and ambiguous situations.Not all stressors are considered bad. In fact, stress can be a motivational tool.Stress can be healthy. For example, stress experienced before a competitionmay provide the body with just the boost that is needed to accomplish asports goal.Stress becomes toxic when it is prolonged and the body is dysregulated.When stressors become cumulative without proper coping mechanisms inplace, they can become toxic. Hence, prolonged and unaddressed stressorscan lead to toxic stress. Toxic stress occurs when the body’s stress-response system is over-activatedwithout reprieve. The body releases a hormone called cortisol. Heightenedlevels of cortisol can lead to reduced immunity, adverse health conditions,addictive behaviors (for coping), and predisposition for chronic illnesses(heart disease, diabetes, obesity). Trauma is when the body's self-regulation systems are overwhelmed and itscapacity to cope is exhausted. Emotional distress, physical threat, injury, andserious violations to the body, mind, and personal safety can result in trauma.Even fear related to loss, abandonment, and perceived threats can result intrauma.9

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InsomniaAppetite issuesImpul sivity Socia l withdrawalImpai red reasoning, judgment,and fuzzy thinkingFeeli ng overwhelmedLoopi ng and racing neg ativeand/o r fearful thoughtsIrrit ability, anxiousness,moodi nessIncreased dependency (alcohol,drugs , food)Somatic: physical symptoms suchas he adaches, tension, musclepain, gastrointestinal problems.Other signs include:SIGNS OF TOXICSTRESS IN ADULTS10

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Find effective support systems (for adults andchildren) and build connections with empathicindividuals or groupsDevelop problem-solving skillsUnderstand and make meaning of emotions Engage in social and recreational activitiesMaintain strong belief systems Rewrite the negative “narrative” using astrength-based point of viewFocus on hobbies, music, meditation, andmindfulnessEngage in physical activities: exercise such asstretching, yoga, walkingCreate a healthy dietFind meaning, purpose, and reasons to hope(even in causes beyond yourself)Admit when you need supportShare your insights and lessons learned withothers who need supportLove fully, thoroughly, without regretsFind joy in each day, even during the darkesttimes—silver liningsBe your own cheerleader—especially when noone else is present!Empowering StrategiesCOPING: ADULTS& CHILDREN12

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Jaden is the grandchild of a 62-year-old paternal grandmother, who servesas his primary caregiver. Jaden'smother left when he was 2.5 years old,and his father became incarceratedwhen he turned 5. Currently, Jaden isattending kindergarten. Recently, therehave been noticeable change s in hisbehavior. He has become withdrawnand spends most of his eveningsfollowing his grand mother aroun d th ehouse. It seems that Ja den h as d evel opeda heightened startle response,becoming easily jumpy or on edge.Even while shopping with Grandma inthe grocery store, strangers startlehim, and he seeks comfort by tuckinghimself under her, holding tigh tly toher hand or clothing. Additiona lly, hehas been experiencing diffi cult ies withsleeping at night.01J A D E NMs. Lucy, aged 62, has bee n fa cingthe challenge of high blood pre ssur efor the past decade. Despite her bestefforts to ma nage it t hrou gh a hea lthydiet, her doctor eventually prescribedmedication. Unfortunately, she hasn'tyet been able to incorporate regula rexercise or stress-reduction techniquesinto her routine. Adding to her stress, Ms. Lucy's sonis currently incarcerated at BatesvilleCorrections Center, which is a lengthy5.5-hour drive away from her home.Although she manages to drive to localplaces, she often feels anxious whileon the road. Ms. Lucy has been the primarycaregiver for her grandson, Jaden, forapproximately 2.5 years, due to herdaughter-in-law's absence. Her daysare filled with preoccupati on a ndstress, but her love for Jaden isunwavering, and she does everythingin her power to provide him withsupport.1502G R A N D M O T H E R

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03P R I S O N V I S I T SR E C E P T I O N I S TMary, at 38 years of age, is currently facing the difficult process ofdivorce, which includes a complex custody battle over her 7-year-old daughter. For the past 8 years, she has worked diligentl y as aprison recepti onist, a role that adds a significant amount of stressto her life.Her supervisor , who can be temperamen tal, often changes andinterprets the visiting rules and regulations based on her attit ude.Recently, there has been a crackdown on prison clothing policy,identification document requirements, and the cut-off times forvisiting registration. Despite being naturally patient and pridi ng herself on her efficienc y,Mary has found herself increasingly stressed on most days, second-guessing herse lf. This stress is exacerbated when her husband(who resides i n a separate dwelling) rais es the possibility of gaini ngfull custody of their child. Mary is navigating a challenging period inher life, and her well-being and emotiona l state deserveunderstanding and support.16

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04P R I S O N V I S I T SR O O M G U A R DMr. Jackson, a 50-year-old man with a background in lawenforcement, is facing unique circums tances. He is currentlyunmarried but aspires to have a famil y one day. Mr. Jackson madethe decision to work at Batesville pr ison after relocating to theremote town to be closer to his elderly mother, who resides in anursing home. Due to financial constr aints, this facility was themost viable option for him. Being the only child, he feels a deepsense of responsibility for his mothe r's care.Previously, Mr. Jackson worked directly with inmates on a pr isontier, but he has recently been reassi gned to oversee the vis itingprocess along with his colleagues. Althou gh he is dissatisfied withthis transfer, he perseveres each day, driven by his commitment tofinding anothe r job that can better s upport his mother's exp ensesand help him make ends meet. Mr. Jackson's journey is marked bysacrifice and dedication to his family and his hopes for a brigh terfuture.17

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Mr. John Bowman, a fi rs t-time incarcerated individual, i s navigating achallenging period in his lif e. Apart from letters and phone c alls, he hasbeen unable to have in-pers on contact with his son, Jaden. While hestrives to maintain a low p rofile within the unit, tension s persist betweenthe inmates and the tier gu ards. The frequent lockdowns th at havebecome a routine occurren ce in recent times only add to th e stress.John's experience is comp ou nd ed by his anxiety. Despite hi s imposingstature, he is far from n aturally aggressive. He constan tl y feels the needto watch his back. His pa ssion for reading offers him a te mporary escapefrom his grim surrounding s, even though he grapples with d im ly litconditions that strain hi s eyes. In his cell, his roomma te 's loud snoringand constant chatter disr up t his attempts at peace.John yearns for the day h e can be reunited with the outs id e world, but hefaces the daunting reality of serving another six years. H e carries theweight of missing crucial m oments in his son Jaden's growt h andmilestones. John's worrie s extend to his mother's health , and he harborsconcerns about the wherea bo uts of Jaden's mother, fearin g anunexpected arrival and a po te ntial custody battle. His jou rn ey is markedby hardship, longing, and a d eep sense of responsibility for those hecares about.05I N C A R C E R A T E DD A D18

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: JADEN, SIX-YEAR-OLDWeek Before VisitJaden is informed that he will be visiting with his dad at a place calledprison. Jaden wonders what prison is. He has heard this word related toscenes in cartoons, seeing animations of cops and robbers.Day/Night Before VisitJaden’s normal routine of having dinner with Grandma was disruptedbecause she had to get the car serviced in preparation for their 5.5-hourdrive to the prison. Reading has always been a calming activity. However,Grandmother did not read to him after going to the service stationbecause she was just too exhausted. She made Jaden a sandwich andsoup for dinner, and he was put to bed early. Jaden did not sleep well atall because he could not stop wondering what prison would be like. Hewas also worried about how his dad would look. He wondered if his dadloved him since he had not been home for so long. Jaden wet the bed.Morning of the VisitAt 5:30 a.m., Grandma woke Jaden. He had just dozed off into deep sleep.Somewhat sleep deprived, at Grandma’s direction, he got up and dressedhimself in his favorite sneakers and a hat, with his favorite toy soldier in hispants pocket. He also carried his Lucky Quarter. This made Jaden feelbetter, but he still felt ashamed of wetting the bed. Would he ever grow upand be a big boy like Dad and Grandma expected?Strapped in the seatbelt, in the car, he and Grandma made the long driveto the prison, arriving at 11:15 a.m. He felt stiff and cranky and needed to goto the restroom.20

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21Visiting ExperienceThe trip was long. Jaden had to use the restroom. He became afraid thathe would wet his clothing like he did the night before. This worried him.During the drive, all he could think about was how his dad left withoutsaying goodbye. In a way he was mad, yet he couldn’t show that toGrandma. It was scary thinking about what a prison might look like, aswell. Grandma didn’t tell him much about what to expect, so he wasconfused. Would there be mean people? Would there be police allaround? Would they arrest him too? Going through the metal detectorswas scary. Each buzz made his heart beat faster in his chest. His handswere balled in a fist, and they were moist with sweat. He had to use therestroom badly. Finally, he was in line to use the restroom. At the last minute beforeentering the Men’s room, Grandma pulled him by his shirt and redirectedhim to the Lady’s room. He felt embarrassed as his cheeks flushed, helooked down--all those women and a little girl were in the restroom, too. Finally, the grandmother-grandchild pair were cleared to visit. Jadenhugged his dad, but he had been informed that they could not touchbeyond that during the visit. Jaden was brooding inside. In his mind, thislack of physical contact and hugs proved that Dad didn’t love him asmuch! He folded his arms across his chest in protest. Jaden’s dad kepttrying to prompt conversation, but Jaden only offered one-word answers.Jaden kept his eye on Mr. Jackson the prison guard, as if he were afraid ofbreaking the rules. AN UNPLANNED VISIT: JADEN, SIX-YEAR-OLD, CONTINUED...

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHERWeek Before VisitPlanning the prison visit was stressful. Grandmother Lucy had to make lastminute arrangements to service her car for the long drive. While she meant toexplain the visit to Jaden, things kept cropping up at the last minute. She hadto verify the prison rules and re-check that she and Jaden were on theapproved visitor list. Grandma Lucy second-guessed herself. Moreover, she wasuncomfortable using the car’s navigation unit and had to ask a youngneighbor for guidance. She had never visited a prison before and wondered ifthe outfit she planned to wear was acceptable but could not get through onthe telephone line to the prison to inquire ahead. Additionally, the onlyavailable car service appointment was the Friday before the Saturday morningvisit. Day/Night Before VisitBeing at the service station was exhausting. It took far too long to receiveservices at a station that charged reduced fees. That evening before the visit, Ms. Lucy’s son made several collect calls home toensure that his mother was still coming to visit. Lucy was excited, yet nervous,just thinking about seeing her son at a prison visit. She forgot to take her bloodpressure medication on Friday. Consequently, she was feeling out of sorts. It would have been better to have another adult make the drive with her.However, it was too embarrassing and imposing to ask a friend to ride or evendrive for her on the day of the visit. Additionally, she felt bad because of her lack of attention towards Jaden. Whileshe tried to be attentive, her mind was elsewhere. She was stressed about theupcoming drive, the visit, and how she would help Jaden adhere to the prisonvisiting room requirements.22

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...Morning of the VisitAt 5:30 a.m., Ms. Lucy asked her grandson, Jaden, to get up and eat aquick breakfast. Ms. Lucy found Jaden’s bed wet. Impatiently, shemumbled to herself as she put the bedding in the wash. She was deeplyconcerned about Jaden.She dressed in a modest outfit and comfortable shoes, and double-checked her identification documents to ensure she had the proper ID forthe visit. They were in the car and on the road by 6:00 a.m.Visiting ExperienceGrandma Lucy was all set and ready to drive the 5.5 hours up to Batesvilleprison. She situated Jaden in the backseat for the drive. As she wasdriving, she realized she didn’t think of bringing toys to occupy Jaden’stime. Her phone was being used for navigation, so Jaden couldn’t playgames on it. As she drove, she found herself drifting off, thinking about allthat had occurred over the past few years. Her son’s incarceration—Jaden’s mom's disappearance. It worried her that Jaden’s dad wasincarcerated and his mother was nowhere to be found. Her thoughts allmorphed into one big snowball, with anxiety and concerns escalating.She again wondered about meeting the dress code policy. A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group23

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At the prison, Ms. Lucy could see that the visiting line wrapped around thesidewalk outside of the facility. In line, she watched people in front of her getturned away. This made her heart beat wildly in her chest. Standing in line wastaxing on her legs as well. On top of it all, Jaden had to use the restroom.Finally, they arrived at the receptionist's desk and proceeded to the desksituated before the metal detector. The receptionist checked them in.Thankfully, they made it through the paperwork check-in process. Next, themetal detector scared Jaden. She could tell from his stiff posture as he walkedthrough the center that the noise scared him. He was rejected the first timebecause he had a quarter and a toy in his pocket. This caused a delay in theline. Ms. Lucy thought she could hear people complaining because they wereholding up the line. The detector went off when she passed through because ofthe metal in her shoes. This whole cycling back and forth added even morestress. Ms. Lucy began to perspire, and she could feel the sweat sliding downthe back of her blouse, making it stick to her. She felt embarrassed.Then they were on the opposite side of the security clearance area, situated in awaiting room. Metal chairs were all positioned facing the glass window, with amassive prison building directly behind, which held the visiting hall. Shepositioned Jaden in line for the restroom, wondering if he was going to be okayin the Men’s room. Then she began to worry, hoping Jaden would not wet hisclothing. This all made matters worse. She grabbed Jaden’s shirt andredirected him with her to the Ladies' room. She decided he was too young togo into the Men’s room alone.Finally, they were seated in the chairs in the visiting room. A gated and fencedwalkway stood between the security waiting room and the fenced-in walkwaythat adjoined the prison. Grandma could feel her blood pressure rising and felta little dizzy, but decided the visit was too important to think about her health.Jaden had to see his dad and her incarcerated son needed her.24AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...

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Ms. Lucy didn’t know what to expect. Looking through the window in thebackground of the waiting room, she could see barbed wire and a walkwayleading to a secured visiting area, a building on the other side of the waitingroom. She was confused about the process of being called by groups. She observedothers and heard names being on the intercom called one at a time bysurname. Were they calling the surnames of the incarcerated or the visitors?There was no way she was going back over to reception to ask questions. Shehad had enough of dealing with the check-in process. Ms. Lucy watched others proceed through the secured gates. Momentarily, theyappeared to be enclosed in a cage. Once the outer door closed from the visitingroom, the sliding gate in front of them remained secure until a guard gave acommand to open it to the sidewalk in front of them leading to the visiting hall. She felt like crying. She was so nervous and sad at the same time, anticipatingseeing her son. What would he be wearing? What was she going to say to keepthe conversation going? How was she going to keep Jaden in his chair? Howwas she going to muster a cheerful smile and bring tidings of good news fromthe outside? All these thoughts went through her mind. She got a headache.When they got to the other side, she saw her son John at a distance. He lookedhealthy, but a little tired and he seemed pensive. Grandma Lucy felt awful, yetpainted a smile on her face. The visit was surreal. The discussion felt like it wason autopilot. She didn’t dare discuss anything private; besides, Jaden waspresent and there were many others in the visiting room. She overheard somany discussions. What a day. It felt like an unplanned visit.25AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MARY,RECEPTIONISTWeek Before VisitTensions between Mary and her soon-to-be ex-husband were escalating.Her daughter had overheard a few heated telephone argumentsbetween them. The daughter began to take sides with her dad, swearingthat she would leave her mom if she ever got the chance. Mary was anervous wreck at work. Her boss became extra stern with her, checkingbehind her as she registered people for the visit. She called her out for notmaking a lady remove all the Bobby pins from her hair, thus causing themetal detectors to go off for a good 5 minutes (as she removed andplaced the small metal objects in the tray), passing through the detectormultiple times. Mary was concerned about her boss’ rigid behavior, butshe knew she could not quit her job. It would be in her best interest toremain employed and show stability as she pursued custody and wentthrough divorce.Day/Night Before VisitMary’s daughter did not return home from a visit with her dad on Fridayevening as promised. Mary was frantic! As imagined, she did not getmuch sleep at all on Friday night. In between her intermittent calls to hersoon-to-be ex-husband, she found herself in tears and stressing over theongoing battle between them. She dreaded going to work Saturdaymorning. Her head was pounding from a headache and her stomach wasupset.26

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: M ARY,RECEPTIONIST, CONTINUED...Morning of the VisitMary arrived for her shift at 7:00 a.m. promptly. Her daughter had not comehome. Ordinarily, she would have dropped off her daughter at her Mom’shouse for care. All morning, Mary was preoccupied thinking about how shewas going to handle the whole situation with divorce and family.Visiting ExperienceMary wasn’t thinking straight on Saturday morning. She was really angry ather husband and a bit heartbroken that her daughter would take sides. Shefelt dysregulated. It was hard to concentrate, and her mind felt fuzzy. Thevisiting line was long as usual for Saturdays. It was hot because the door wasjammed open due to the lines stretching out towards the sidewalk. As usual,visitors wore clothing that violated the admittance dress code. She wasn’tchancing anything, knowing her boss was looking over her shoulder. Sheturned 4 guests away. Each had some violation or or another: tight-fittingclothing, cleavage showing, refusing to remove an item that wouldn’t clearthe detector. She felt badly, but the rules were the rules. By the time Ms. Lucy and hergrandson checked in, they made it through, but not without failed attempts.The little boy was obviously anxious. He was just a year younger than Mary’sdaughter. She should have shown some empathy. She felt guilty that shewas so stern with them. The tension in her neck spread to her shoulders. Shefelt horrible in reflection. Maybe she was a mean person after all. Perhapsthat’s why her daughter hated her so much and her husband wanted adivorce. She knew that her daughter adored her father. Mary felt like a failedmom, wife, and employee.A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group27

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MR. JACKSON,VISITING ROOM GUARDWeek Before VisitMr. Jackson’s mother was in assistive living care and had taken a turn forthe worse. She required extra resources, causing the price of residency toescalate. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. He would justhave to figure it out. It was too expensive to provide care and keep up withhis current financial obligations. Something had to give. His bosstemporarily assigned him back to the prison tier for the week. The longhours would provide overtime pay, but he was unable to visit his mom asoften as he initially anticipated. She had been asking staff for himconstantly, yet his job demands were unrelenting.Mr. Jackson felt completely stressed because the prison unit was short-staffed, and the residents of the ward were all complaining about theheat and the broken showers.Day/Night Before Visit Mr. Jackson was finally returned to his duties as visiting room guard. Atleast this post would give him some breathing room and time to thinkabout his mom’s circumstances. Saturday visits during non-holidays werebusy, yet a little easier. However, the Warden had just instituted a no-contact visit policy in the visits area. Only a hug and kiss were permittedat the beginning and the very end of the visit.A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group28

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: MR. JACKSON,VISITING R OOM GUARD, CONTINUED...Morning of the VisitMr. Jackson’s morning arrival at his post in the visits area was met with hissupervisor, reminding him of the new policy. Mr. Jackson was responsiblefor ensuring that no contact was made between visitors and prisonresidents. It could cost him his employee performance rating andpotentially his job.Visiting ExperienceBeing second-guessed is one thing that bothered Mr. Jackson most of all.How dare his supervisor look over his shoulder! He could feel the back ofhis neck getting hot. Of course he knew how to check in visitors! And yes,he would ensure that everyone who passed through his line would bereminded of the no-contact during visits policy.Grandma Lucy and Jaden finally made it to the second check-in desk invisits area. This is where visitors must show an invisible seal stamp and aplastic band. Mr. Jackson observed their infrared stamp to ensure thatthey were cleared for the visit. “No contact during the visits, Ma’am andyoung man. This means that once you are seated you must stay put,otherwise the visit is all over. I would hate to send you home, ending thevisit early. Only one hug at the beginning and one at the end. Next visitorplease...” Mr. Jackson felt guilty each time he uttered those words to familymembers and children, yet, on automatic mode, he did just that. 29

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: JOHN,INCARCERATED PERSON Week Before VisitJohn was anxious all week. Finally, he was going to have a visit. The unitwas under strict lockdowns and unrest. The air was thick with heat. Hetried to busy himself, paying attention to his job working in the hotlaundry area. At least work made the days go by faster. Every time Johngot a chance, he called home, making sure his mother was still coming.She was worried about car troubles and that made John even moreanxious. Therefore, he called several times to make sure that she got thecar serviced before the day of the visit. John felt badly that he was soimpatient with his mom. This wasn’t like him. He should have apologized,yet under the stress and strain, he justified to himself that it’s just toomuch pressure to be nice all the time.Day/Night Before Visit The entire unit was locked down the night before the visit. This placedupcoming visits at risk for this group on the tier. However, the Wardendecided that he would let scheduled visits resume for those who were notinvolved in the incident that took place. While John was relieved, he wasangry and concerned that all it would take was one more incident andthe promised visiting privilege would be revoked.Morning of the VisitJohn had been up all night. He heard every sound, clank, slam of doors,and guards making the rounds. He did not eat breakfast when it wascalled at 5:30 a.m., even though he went to the Mess Hall. His stomachwas in knots. The 11:30 a.m. visit could not come fast enough.30

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AN UNPLANNED VISIT: JO HN,INCARCERATED PERSON, CONTINUED...Visiting ExperienceJohn sat in the chair in the visiting area feeling humiliated. One wrongmove could end the visit. What a process to prepare for a visit! He hopedthat his mother and son made it through to the visits area and werecleared without a problem. Being dressed in a blue shirt and pants wasn’tso bad; still he wished he were in regular clothes. He felt slightlyembarrassed to look like an inmate. He was tired. He wished that he couldhave gotten a good night’s rest. He needed a clean shave. However,barbershop and haircut day wasn’t until Monday. Finally, he saw his mom and Jaden. They all embraced, and he foundhimself looking at Jaden trying to figure out why his son was so mad. Didthe incarceration stop him from feeling love anymore? What could he do?In a way, he was frustrated and irritated with the guard and the Warden’sannouncement of the no contact policy. This was not the way he hadanticipated the visit going. Before you know it, the visit was over. John wasnot a happy man.31

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Finally, make noteof their planning and preparation. JADEN, 6-YEAR-OLDSTRESSMS. LUCY, GRANDMOTHERSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESSA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group33

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Finally, make noteof their planning and preparation.MARY, RECEPTIONISTSTRESSMR. JACKSONSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESS34

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Finally, make noteof their planning and preparation.MARY, RECEPTIONISTSTRESSMR. JACKSONSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESS34

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?JOHN, INCARCERATED PERSONSTRESSPHYSICALEMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESSA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group35Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Finally, make noteof their planning and preparation.

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A PLANNED VISIT: JADEN, SIX-YEAR-OLDWeek Before the VisitJaden was informed that he would be making a visit with his dad at aplace called prison.Jaden’s grandmother helped him to understand what to expect duringthe visit using a children’s book, Jamie’s Big Visit. This book describes acharacter named Jamie, who adored his dad. When Dad becameincarcerated, they planned a “Big Visit.” Grandma read the book to himalmost daily, using their reading time for a question-and-answer session.They pointed out new emotional words when Jaden’s grandmother askedhim if he ever felt the same as the main character. The book helpedJaden to understand he was not the only child impacted by incarceration.Jaden was excited now that he knew what the visit entailed. Jadencouldn’t wait to see his dad. Grandma Lucy said that his dad would be wearing a uniform similar tothat which the mechanics wore in the service station. It might be blue orgray, too. Grandmother had assured Jaden that his dad loved him. Theyhad practiced and prepared for the visit doing role play. Jaden felt proudthat he was all prepared and ready for the visit.Jaden also looked forward to the adventure of riding with Grandmom forthe 5.5-hour trip. He would see the big mountains leading to Batesvilleprison. He would count the bridges, cows, and even horses on farms alongthe way. This was exciting! He could tell Dad all about the adventure.Jaden knew that if the storybook character “Jamie” enjoyed his visit, hecould too!37

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Day/Night Before VisitGrandma maintained Jaden’s normal routine of dinner, reading time,and bonding. This helped with Jaden’s tolerance for new situations andeven with his temperament during the long ride. Grandma taught Jaden how to use deep breaths when, and if, he foundhimself getting anxious. Jaden was happy that Grandma helped to clear up the confusion aboutwhat a prison is. This made him feel calm and ready to show he could bea good boy standing in line and during the visit. Morning of the VisitAt 5:30 a.m., Grandma woke Jaden. He got up and dressed himself in hisfavorite sneakers, a hat, with his favorite toy soldier in his pants pocket. Healso carried his lucky quarter. Grandma had informed Jaden that hecould take these items, but needed to leave them in the car becausethese items were not allowed inside the visiting area. Jaden felt proudthat he understood Grandma’s instructions. Jaden felt that he was indeedgrowing up! His dad would be proud of him.As they made the long drive to the prison, Jaden compared his drive toJamie’s, the storybook character. They arrived at 11:00 a.m. Since theymade a pit stop at a rest area, he felt ready for the Big Visit with his dad!38A PLANNED VISIT: JADEN, SIX-YEAR-OLD,CONTINUED...

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Visiting ExperienceOnce they arrived at the prison, Jaden saw lots of children in line with theirfamilies. He felt proud of himself. He behaved just like Grandma advised. Helooked at the big building. It looked like a castle, similar to that which wasdescribed in the book, Jamie’s Big Visit, that Grandma read to him. He wasn’tscared about what a prison might look like. Grandma had explained to him that there were special workers in the prison whoeach had a role. Some of the workers would register them. Others would ensurethat the visit went well and that all families could enjoy their visiting time, withouta lot of distraction. Each person was expected to sit in assigned seats, just like atschool. Grandma said that they would go to the visits area using a similarapproach his teacher used when lining up his class for lunch. Jaden recalled howhis class would follow his teacher’s instruction to proceed single file to thecafeteria. He felt calm, grabbing his grandma’s hand as they were standing in linewaiting to check in for the visit.When they arrived at the metal detectors, Jaden felt a little nervous, but herecalled how Jamie cleared the metal detectors. Finally, they were cleared to thevisit hall. Jaden hugged his dad. It was so good to see him. He gave him a big hug to lastuntil the end of the visit. He could see that his dad loved him. He also showed hisdad and grandma that he knew how to follow the rules. He and his dad talkedabout all the “big” things he saw along the drive. He talked about school activitiesas well. Jaden and his dad decided to pick a topic for an upcoming phone callafter the visit. Jaden was excited with anticipation of the future. During the visit, Jadenoccasionally glanced over at Mr. Jackson. He felt proud of himself because of howwell he followed the rules. Mr. Jackson nodded his head and smiled; Jaden knewthen he had successfully followed all the rules. He was growing up to be a goodboy. At the end of the visit, he hugged Dad extra long. It was a good day. It was awell-planned visit.39A PLANNED VISIT: JADEN, SIX-YEAR-OLD,CONTINUED...

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A PLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHERWeek Before VisitGrandma Lucy knew that planning was essential in driving to the prisonwith the least amount of stress. She began planning the visit and logisticsearly. Grandma Lucy had already read a book authored by Julia Lazareck,Prison the Hidden Sentence, and a book by Barbara Allan, Doing OurTime on the Outside. These books helped to prepare her for the visit andhelped reduce the stress of the unknowns of a visit.While the last-minute car service required a bit of patience, she used thetime to prepare Jaden for the visit as they waited for the maintenance tobe done. Where they were seated was mostly private. Since the waiting room was quiet, she explained the prison visit usingJamie’s Big Visit by Dr. Avon Hart-Johnson. The book pointed out howprisons are located in remote areas. She explained to Jaden that thesecurity process would be similar to an airport security checkpoint orthose in courthouses (or in some school systems). Grandma made a checklist that included things such as: packing a snackfor Jaden, bringing a few toys, and planning for at least one stop forbathroom breaks along the way to Batesville prison. She also joined TheInternational Prisoners Family Conference Facebook social media groupfor families of the incarcerated. This group, managed by Ms. Kayla Victor,provided insights and tips on preparing for the visit. She also metmembers of the Prison Families Alliance support group and planned toattend their group in the upcoming weeks.40

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A PLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...Night Before the VisitMs. Lucy knew it would be a long drive. The night before, she made sureher medications were in plain sight on the kitchen table so that she couldtake her meds before driving to Batesville prison. She was excited to see her son. To prepare for the drive, she Googled howto use her phone’s navigation unit. She was proud of how she masteredthat task.She also felt proud that she had used her time wisely to explain thevisiting procedures to Jaden. This made her feel relieved that using suchtools as storybooks made her job of explaining prison a bit easier.Morning of the VisitAt 5:30 a.m., Ms. Lucy asked her grandson, Jaden, to get up and have aquick breakfast. Jaden seemed to be well rested. While their routine wasaltered slightly, she was able to properly prepare him for the drive and toensure proper rest. She knew that it was important for Jaden to have aroutine to help manage his stress about new and strange places. That morning, they both dressed and she double-checked for her IDpapers. 41

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Visiting ExperienceGrandma Lucy was all set and ready to drive the 5.5 hours up to Batesvilleprison. They were in the car and on the road by 6:00 a.m. She situated Jaden inthe backseat for the drive. Jaden occupied himself with his toys—but he wasreally interested in sightseeing. Occasionally, they discussed topics to share withhis dad. While thoughts of Jaden’s mother came across her mind during thedrive, she returned her focus, remembering to concentrate on the drive—and tostay “present” and “mindful”—not worrying about things she could not control, orworrying about tomorrow. They stopped at a rest area nearly 2 hours into thedrive. This gave them both a chance to stretch their legs and use the restrooms. Once at the prison, and in line, she saw a few people get turned away. This madeher sad that perhaps these folks did not have a support group such as theFacebook group or Prison Families Alliance. She decided right then and therethat she should become an advocate for families to raise awareness about thevarious prison visits policy. Grandma decided to join the Advocacy in ActionCoalition to make a difference!While the visit line extended outside of the facility, she was able to talk withothers in front and behind her, making connections and offering words ofreassurance. The visitors shared a few tips as well. Once she arrived at thereception desk, she asked Jaden to check his pockets. She also placed herallowed items in the tray along with her shoes. She cleared the metal detectorafter one try. This was her first visit, but getting through the security check-inwent well.Finally, they were on the opposite side of the security clearance area, situated ina waiting room. Metal chairs were all positioned facing the glass window, with amassive prison building directly behind. A gated area and walkway stoodbetween the security waiting room and the visiting room building adjoined tothe prison.42A PLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...

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Ms. Lucy was already informed by the other visitors who were in line aboutwhat to expect. They informed her of the process of crossing over to theother building where visits took place. They also told her that when visitorsare called in this particular prison, it is by the prison resident’s surname,not hers. While waiting for the actual visit, she encouraged Jaden to use therestroom again to prevent having to cut the visit short (she had beeninformed that there are no restroom privileges in the visits area). Ms. Lucyexplained to Jaden that they would wait until no one was in the men’sroom and he could use the restroom while she stood watch outside of thedoor. When she and Jaden finally saw John, he looked healthy. The guardchecked them in. He was so respectful to her and Jaden. Even though itwas a bit noisy, the three of them talked and laughed and enjoyed eachother’s conversations. Grandma and Jaden both were relieved after the visit. Jaden askedGrandma when they could visit next. This was a good sign; Jaden wantedto come back for a visit. Grandma smiled and said to Jaden, “One day at atime, fella. We need to get you some lunch and then get you home so thatI can get you back on schedule with our bedtime reading session.” Ms.Lucy made a note to read the book, Grandma Gracy and Toby: ACaregiver’s Discussion about Parental Incarceration, By Dr. GeoffreyJohnson, to help her process what to expect post-visits and to explainfuture circumstances related to John’s incarceration and return home toJaden. What a day! It was a well-planned visit!43A PLANNED VISIT: MS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHER, CONTINUED...

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A PLANNED VISIT: MARY, RECEPTIONISTWeek Before VisitGiven the escalating tensions between Mary and her soon-to-be ex-husband, she decided to focus on communication strategies that wouldreduce the possibility of arguments when they spoke. Mary ensured thatwhen on the phone, she did not match the intensity of her husband’swords. Instead, she intentionally used “pacing” and “linking” words in herdiscussion with her husband. “Pacing” means acknowledging andbuilding a rapport, listening, and “linking” entails using such words as“Would you consider,” “May I suggest,” or “Perhaps we might,” rather than“I need you to”, “I suggest that you do,” or “You better…” Negative-tonewords and phrases cause the other person to stop listening and form theirown defenses, potentially leading to arguments. Mary used mindfulness to keep her focused on the current task at hand.When she found herself drifting off and anxious, she recentered herself byreminding herself of her strengths as a good communicator with patienceand empathy. Mary reframed her thoughts about employment. She recognized that shecould not change her boss, but she could change her responses to herboss’s comments. She decided to be thankful for having a job to showstable employment, which would help with establishing an amicableagreement of retaining custody. If another event occurred at work such asthe “Bobby pin incident,” she might say: “Ma’am, our metal detectors areextra sensitive. Before going through the unit again, perhaps you wouldlike to remove all the Bobby pins before proceeding.”44

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A PLANNED VISIT: MARY, RECEPTIONIST,CONTINUED...Day/Night Before VisitMary’s daughter did not return home from a Friday night visit with her dad.Rather than jump to conclusions, Mary reflected upon how her daughteradored her father and was happy about their relationship. She once read thatchildren her daughter’s age can be temperamental and have sporadic loyaltybetween separating parents. This is likely a stress response. Mary made a noteto get in touch with online resources/groups to support both her and herdaughter.While communication about the overnight stay was not agreed upon, Maryrecognized that her daughter was in good hands with her father. Rather than becoming angry at her husband and daughter, she knew thisresponse would not solve any problems and result in a bad outcome. Therefore,she called her husband and confirmed that her daughter would be staying thewhole day on Saturday. She used a “containment” approach. In other words, she set some naturalboundaries for discussion, vowing to keep the conversation on track, andavoided using defense-producing words such as, “you,” “always,” “never,” “only,”“every time,” and “no-one.” These words in the past resulted in arguments andher husband defending his position. These discussions also made her feelstressed. She stated to her husband, “Perhaps I can come by after work if that is okaywith you—or would you rather drop her off at my house?” This tone gave herhusband an option and a sense of agency. The phone call went a lot better than expected. She decided to address herdaughter later. They made arrangements for pick up after work.45

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A PLANNED VISIT: MARY, RECEPTIONIST,CONTINUED...Morning of the VisitMary went to work on Saturday morning, feeling better that she did notget into a full-blown argument with her husband. Those heateddiscussions generally left her stressed and with a headache lasting mostof the day. Mary arrived for her shift at 7:00 a.m. promptly. She began tolook over the visiting policy, rehearsing various scenarios in her mind. Ifsomeone comes in without an ID, she will use “inclusive” phrases thatengender empathy. Examples would include, “I sometimes forget my IDas well. You have a little time. Perhaps you can step aside, re-check yourbags, and I will hold your place once you retrieve your ID.” While Mary cannot solve the potential problems for the visitors, she canuse empathy and let them solve for themselves—creating a less stressfulenvironment in the visits area. She noted when people are less stressed,they are easier to process.Inclusive words lower the temperature, including: “maybe,” “perhaps,”“sometimes,” and other words. Exclusive phrases that cause people to feeldisempowered are: “You can’t,” “We don’t allow,” “People always think,”and “Everyday people try…”Now that Mary had a plan, she felt that she could help visitors abide bythe rules, knowing that she does not own the problem but can certainlyshow visitors respect and decency while meeting her boss’ requirements.46

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Visiting ExperienceOn the day of Jaden and Grandma’s visit, Mary could tell that they were abit nervous. She recalled her own daughter’s mixed emotions andcomplex feelings since the divorce proceedings began. She recognizedthat Jaden’s posture and eyes displayed a little fear of the unknown, eventhough he was well behaved. So, as they checked in, she used a slightsmile and soft tones, indicating to Ms. Lucy, “Please place all items in thetray. You may wish to check your grandson’s pockets for any items, andwe will be sure to provide a key to stow these important items in a lockerjust for him!” Jaden’s posture moved from a stiffened position to upright, and he smiled.Grandma removed her shoes and placed them in the tray and clearedthe metal detector.47A PLANNED VISIT: MARY, RECEPTIONIST,CONTINUED...

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A PLANNED VISIT: MR. JACKSON,VISITING ROOM GUARDWeek Before VisitMr. Jackson’s mother had taken a turn for the worse. She required extracare, causing the price of residency to escalate. Mr. Jackson reflectedupon how fortunate he was to have secured a job near his mother’shospice venue. He recalled how instrumental his mother had been in hislife. Now was a time for him to make a small sacrifice during a time whenhis mom needed him the most. He thought about the reassignment ofbeing placed on the tier for a week and the overtime that it wouldgenerate. He was thankful for the added income. The work was stressful,but he reminded himself of the techniques he used in the past to de-escalate situations, which seemed to work well. Everyone on the tier was dealing with heat and broken showers. Heshared with the residents that “everyone is dealing with this heat—evenme. It has been hotter than normal, but we are working on it.”Day/Night Before VisitMr. Jackson finally returned to his duties as visiting room guard. This postgave him time to think. He decided that on his lunch break andoccasional breaks during the day, he would phone his mom and check inon her to let her know he was only a short drive from work should anemergency arise. He felt proud of himself for being so versatile andflexible, being able to move from role to role and not miss a beat.48

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A PLANNED VISIT: MR. JACKSON,VISITING ROOM GUARD, CONTINUED...Morning of VisitSaturday morning’s drive to work was uneventful. He called his mom fromhis mobile phone on his way to work. She seemed to be calm and quitelucid. He was thankful, since she had been through a rough phase.Before arriving at work, Mr. Jackson planned and mentally rehearsed howhe would deal with visitors, sharing information about the new policy.Mr. Jackson decided that he would gently inform visitors of the new ruleand remind them in a sensitive manner that the rules are designed toprotect both the visitors and those who reside in the prisons. Mr. Jackson’s morning arrival at his post in the visiting area was met withhis supervisor, reminding him of the new policy. Mr. Jackson wasresponsible for ensuring that no contact was made between visitors andprison residents. While rule violation could cost him his employeeperformance rating and potentially his job, Mr. Jackson knew he wascompetent and a good employee. 49

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Visiting ExperienceWhen visitors entered, Mr. Jackson offered, “Ma’am/Sir, good to see you. Asyou enter the visiting room, please remember embraces are allowed atthe beginning and end of the visit. If you need to ask a question duringthe visit, raise your hand and signal and I will come over as soon as I can.Enjoy your visits.” When Grandma and Jaden arrived, Mr. Jackson stated: “I see you have alittle guy with you. I hope all was well with your drive. We have instituted anew policy of only making contact at the beginning and end of the visit.We know this visit is important and we want you to get the most out of it.If contact is made during the visit, I am required to ask you to end the visitearly. We don’t want that, do we, young man?” He smiled as he looked atJaden. Jaden shook his head no. Mr. Jackson further stated: “This means,young man, that when you see your dad, you can give him a big hug, andthen be seated. Is that something you can do for me?” Jaden responded,“Yes, of course, I follow the rules in school and on the school bus all thetime.” Minutes later, Mr. Jackson glanced over and witnessed the father-sonembrace. He saw Jaden give his dad a big hug. He thought to himself,“One day I hope to have a little son like Jaden.” Every now and then, Mr.Jackson observed Jaden looking at him, seeking visual approval for hisgood behavior. Mr. Jackson nodded his head in acceptance and approvaland Jaden smiled. Mr. Jackson thought about how the visit was a time forfamilies to catch up and make plans for staying connected. Jaden was alucky boy.50A PLANNED VISIT: MR. JACKSON,VISITING ROOM GUARD, CONTINUED...

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A PLANNED VISIT: JOHN, INCARCERATEDPERSON Week Before VisitJohn felt himself toggle between feeling anxious and excited. To managehis stress, he used his mindfulness training. He recalled how staying in thepresent could quiet his ambivalence. Each time he started to worry, hereminded himself of how dedicated his mom had been in the past. Shewas a strong and committed woman. He knew that she would doeverything in her power to make the visit. He decided that he would pacehimself and not add to her stress. Instead, he offered that it would be okayif she had to reschedule, given the car needed servicing, but he reallywould like to see her and Jaden. The unit was under strict lockdowns and unrest, and the air was thick withheat. While at work, he concentrated on managing the laundry. At leastthe fans were blowing air, even though it was hot. At work, he spent histime recalling how much he loved Jaden. He felt so fortunate to have anupcoming visit scheduled. Some of his peers, including his roommate, didnot get family visits. John felt so fortunate.Day/Night Before VisitThe entire unit was locked down the night before the visit. This risked thecancelation of upcoming visits for this group of individuals on the tier.However, the Warden decided that he would let scheduled visits resumefor those who were not involved in the incident that took place. John wasrelieved that his visit would take place after all. He smiled recalling thepower of positive thinking. Yes, “thoughts held in mind, produce of itskind.” His positive thoughts about Jaden seemed to have paid off. 51

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A PLANNED VISIT: JOHN, INCARCERATEDPERSON, CONTINUED... Morning of the VisitJohn continued to calm himself using breathing techniques. This practicehelped to calm his nervous reaction and prevent an overload of feelings,physical sensations, and anxious breathing. He practiced breathing in slowly and breathing out twice as long. He placed hishands behind his head with his elbows folded to allow airflow from hisstomach. This engaged his brain/body parasympathetic system to bring calm.He actually fell asleep even though the tier was not completely quiet. He wokejust in time to be called for breakfast.Visiting Experience John went through the security procedures to be cleared for the visit. He was soexcited to see Jaden and his mom that the procedure was a small price to payfor seeing them both. Once seated in his designated spot, he thought abouthow to ensure that Jaden understood the rules without feeling afraid. Hedecided he would help though using a bit of guidance and reminders. He spotted Jaden and his mom at the visiting reception area front desk. Hebegan beaming with happiness, seeing how tall Jaden was becoming. Henoticed Mr. Jackson, smiling at Jaden. Observing that interaction made Johnfeel relaxed. When Jaden came to his chair, he bent down and gave him a big hug and akiss on his cheek. “You’re getting to be so tall and handsome.” He continued, “Ibet you’re learning a lot in school, aren’t you? And look at you, you’re sitting inthe chair and behaving so well (positive reinforcement). This is going to makeour visit go very well. Thank you, Jaden. Tell, me about your drive up….” At theend of the visit, Jaden gave his dad a big hug and kiss. John returned to hissitting position and admired both Grandma and Jaden as they walked out. Ithad been a good day. It felt like a well planned visit. 52

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Preparation considers the interaction with staff at the prison. The preparationalso includes preparing for the logistics before and on the day of the visititself. Remember to check on what clothing is permitted.Preparing and awareness might include:Psychological preparedness [learn, rehearse, communicate]Emotional preparedness [de-stress, self-care, positive self-talk]Used calming techniques and mindfulness, while considering the body’sresponse to stress [know what your stress feels like. take steps to cope] Implementing simplistic exercises (i.e., body scans) and rituals (positivethoughts and reflections)Take time to read about trauma and toxic stress. See support from formalsources or from informal support groups.With proper planning and preparation, a prison visit might be a bit smoother for allidentified roles. The following interventions and preparedness are offered:Planning the week before includes understanding how each member of the familyis unique and may require different approaches to remain emotionally regulatedand calm. a.b.c.d.e.A Planned VisitOVERVIEWCONTINUEDA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group54

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[enter additional resources here]Preparation for visits may reduce stress. Helping young children envision the prisonexperience through using analogies and storybook aids can help them mentallyprepare. Consider “Jamie’s Big Visit” by Dr. Avon Hart-Johnson (see Amazon.com). Additional Resources/Considerations:A Planned VisitCONTINUEDPROCEED TOACTIVITY 2A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group55

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Make note of theirplanning and preparation. Note the differences in stress responses between Activity (1)and (2).JADEN, 6-YEAR-OLDSTRESSMS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHERSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESS57

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Make note of theirplanning and preparation. Note the differences in stress responses between Activity (1)and (2).JADEN, 6-YEAR-OLDSTRESSMS. LUCY,GRANDMOTHERSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESS57

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HOW WERE THEY FEELING?MARY, RECEPTIONISTSTRESSMR. JACKSONSTRESSPHYSICAL PHYSICALEMOTIONAL EMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS PLANNING & PREPAREDNESSA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group58Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Make note of theirplanning and preparation. Note the differences in stress responses between Activity (1)and (2).

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59Using single-word terms, reflect and describe how each person’s body and brain wereresponding on the day of the prison visit. Explain their reactions, focusing on their:stress response, physical impacts, and emotional state (psychological). Make note of theirplanning and preparation. Note the differences in stress responses between Activity (1)and (2),HOW WERE THEY FEELING?JOHN, INCARCERATED PERSONSTRESSPHYSICALEMOTIONALPLANNING & PREPAREDNESS

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EMPOWERMENTJADENJaden could benefit from learning self-regulation techniques. Learning “belly-breathing” can bring stress relief. His bedwetting suggests that his stress hascaused dysregulated bodily responses like regressing to former unregulatedbehavior. When young children experience stress overload, it affects theirbladder and digestive systems, placing these essential functions on reserve.Instead, major stress response systems prepare the body for fight-or-flightdefense. The body is designed to protect itself at all costs. Therefore, to theunconscious, the body does not know if the threat is fear of the unknown,imminent threats, or anxiousness—it responds with a similar approach. Soregression, bedwetting, thumb-sucking, and/or withdrawal are normal modes ofprotection. Jaden could benefit from his Grandmother and his dad conveyingmethods of self-regulation and co-regulation through learning from adultfigures how to manage stressors and problems. Being open withcommunication about prisons and expectations during visits, and using age-appropriate language can be most helpful.Preparation for a visit: Having a pillow and comfort object might encourageJaden to sleep along the drive. Scheduling bathroom breaks may also help withthe duration of the prison visit, preventing the stress of waiting to use therestroom. Additionally, explaining what might occur during visits may help himto prepare for the unknown. Role playing and using storybooks tailored for thistype of discussion can also help. Reading is also an act of bonding and comfort.Addressing Jaden’s questions about his dad’s love and affection is important.Perhaps during the visit, Grandma and Dad can explain the love they both havefor him. This would be a good use of time for bonding. Grownup business can behandled at another time, via telephone discussions. Maintaining routines isimportant, as unpredictability can cause stress. A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working GroupAppendix AThe following discussion conveys an overview of stress responses related to allcharacter profiles depicted in the visiting experience roles. ANALYSIS61

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Appendix AThe following discussion conveys an overview of stress responses related to allcharacter profiles. ANALYSIS CONTINUED62GRANDMAGrandma is a strong woman, marked by her caring attitude for her son andgrandson. Grandma’s physical stress (high blood pressure, sweat, increasedheartbeat, exhaustion, tiredness from standing in line) are all signs of stress.Moreover, her fear of seeking help with GPS navigation reflects shame as wellas embarrassment. Grandma could benefit from deliberate acts of self-care. Learning how tomaintain her own schedule, discovering breathing techniques, seekinginformation that allays her fears about the unknowns (prison visits), andrequesting support could be helpful. Grandma may find that if she considersthat support-seeking is not a sign of weakness, but rather, a means to remainstrong, it might also be helpful. Also note that her son’s incarceration is stressful. Grandma might talk abouther concerns with him and set boundaries for a budget for phone calls. Theycould also work out a strategy for keeping Jaden connected via communicationand upcoming visits. She could also invite her son to co-parent, making time fordiscussions related to Jaden’s school work and progress when they speak.Finally, many sources of Grandma’s stress appear to be related to schedulingand planning (i.e., medications, driving, prison visits), as well as issues with carmaintenance. Perhaps scheduling the car maintenance in advance could reducestress. During stressful times, it appears that so many things are happening atonce. Prioritizing and determining what is most important might reduce stressthrough intentional planning and perhaps journaling.EMPOWERMENT

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MARYAppendix AThe following discussion conveys an overview of stress responses related to allcharacter profiles. ANALYSIS CONTINUEDMary has many positive qualities. She is empathic and naturally a goodcommunicator. However, stress provokes fuzzy thinking and sends her intofight-or-flight mode. Mary’s frantic behavior, lack of sleep, crying, andheadaches are all signs of unaddressed stress. The stress has manifested asshoulder tension and other physical reactions. Adding to her stress are issueswith her pending divorce and child-rearing. When arguments happen, the mind(brain) naturally toggles to an autopilot mode, where fighting to be heard,acknowledged, and appreciated all align with primal (lower brain) responses.These responses generally leave people with an inability to reason using logic,read the room, come up with cohesive arguments, etc. The primal brain justwants to defend itself at all costs. However, when Mary uses techniques tocounter this reaction, she maintains calm, and her clear thinking is notovercome by emotional-based logic.Mary can benefit from focusing on reducing the risk of escalating tensionsthrough communication techniques that reduce adversity. She can only controlher reactions and manage her personal responses. She might also reframe herthoughts about her daughter’s affinity for her father. Her daughter’s loyaltyshows love for her dad. To receive love and togetherness with her daughter,she might begin a conversation about marital relations, sharing that not allpeople can work through their differences. Unfortunately, divorce happens andis not a reflection of Mary’s love for her daughter. Talking and actively listeningto her daughter’s response might be a good beginning to enhancingcommunication. Finally, Mary’s job is stressful. She might be able to achieve her work goals whilealso staying true to her personality and efficacy as an employee. Again,remaining focused on what she can achieve is important, since she cannotchange others. Self-awareness and self-care are two beneficial tools to apply.A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group63EMPOWERMENT

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MR. JACKSONAppendix AThe following discussion conveys an overview of stress responses related to allcharacter profiles. ANALYSIS CONTINUEDMr. Jackson is a caring son and a dedicated employee. His physical reactions tostress include feeling nervous and flushed (hot). These are signs of ineffective self-regulation and stress. Guilt and shame also tend to trigger similar responses. Mr.Jackson must learn to reframe his negative self-talk and adverse messaging tohimself about his mother. He must learn that he is doing what is reasonable givenhis job responsibilities. He is the only child. He could benefit from a support groupas well. He is likely experiencing anticipatory grief. With his lamenting comes thefear that his mother will soon pass and he will be left alone. Grief counseling could also help. Mr. Jackson works in a stressful environment. By planning his message to thevisitors and incarcerated individuals, he could reduce his stress. He could staywithin the bounds of prison protocol while also treating everyone with dignity andrespect. This technique may reduce the tensions he experiences. Over time, hemay prove to his boss that he is effective at his job. He must reassure himself of hispersonal skills to build confidence. This is a direct response to his boss second-guessing him.Finally, Mr. Jackson would like a child one day. He should give himself permissionto have a social life without feeling guilty for activities outside of his mom’s careand his job responsibilities.Mr. Jackson is in a high-risk category for chronic illness, premature death, andother stress-provoked ailments. He could benefit from exercise, healthy diet, and surrounding himself with positive supporters.64EMPOWERMENT

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JOHNAppendix AThe following discussion conveys an overview of stress responses related to allcharacter profiles. ANALYSIS CONTINUEDJohn is a caring individual with apparent love for his mother and child. He haspatience, even with his talkative roommate. He is a good worker and he appearsto use his time wisely reading to feed his intellect and soul. John hasexperienced a great deal of mental and physical stress. He is in an environmentwhere he must remain vigilant and alert. His sleeping quarters are often noisyand the lighting strains his eyes. Planning visits to the library might be feasible.However, he may need to save to order reading glasses. While a night lightmight help, prison policy may not permit those portable battery-operateddevices. John could focus on maintaining practices that contribute to stressreduction, such as meditation and mindfulness. He can also maintain his ritualof staying connected with the family.John can set goals that span over the remainder of his sentence, workingtowards accomplishments that may benefit him and his family when he returnshome. Having goals might also help make the time pass, as he accomplishesmilestones while incarcerated. Goals could include a trade or obtainingcredentials of choice This can help him to focus on building himself up ratherthan lamenting over the time he will spend in prison.John’s uncertainty about his mom’s visits might be cleared up through apurposeful conversation. Maintaining clear communication while alsorespecting his mom’s schedule, concerns, and responsibilities could reducestress on all fronts. Finally, John can help co-parent Jaden by remaininginvolved and focusing on Jaden as the topic of discussion when they speak byphone or meet in person.A. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group65EMPOWERMENT

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EVERYONE CAN DE-STRESSAppendix BDE-STRESSINGSpend time outside, enjoying nature—even if you can onlyspare 10 minutes! Find pleasure in the moment and thewonders of nature.Learn deep breathing: breathe in deeply, expand your belly,and breathe out twice as long. Fold your hands behind yourhead while breathing to engage in full cleansing breaths.Stretch! Massage your neck, shoulders, calves, and largemuscle groups. Seek support. Virtual groups are prevalent. Remember,seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but rather a desireto remain strong.Practice self-love, self-compassion, and self-awareness.Become aware of the messaging you send through self-talk.Be affirming rather than negative. Offer yourself grace andforgiveness for not being perfect! If you fail at a task, tryagain. Use a bit of humor and roll on!When chaos ensues, the brain becomes cloudy anddisorganized, resulting in fuzzy thinking. Regain control ofyour brain’s executive functions through writing andorganizing and prioritizing the large must-do’s and the smallthings that don’t matter as much. Journal! Get rest.66EMPOWERMENT

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EMOTIONALPHYSICALENVIRONMENTSOCIALLEARN A B O U T STR E S S ANDTRIGGE R SGET SL E E P & EXE R C I S ESURROU N D Y OURSE L FWITH P O S I T IVE P E O P L ESTAY C O N N E CTED T OTRUSTE D S O CIALNETWOR K SDISTIN G U I S H BET W E E NFEAR A N D R EALIT YPRACTI C E M INDFU L N E S SOR SPI R I T U AL PR A C T I CESRID YO U R S PACE F R O MNEGATI V I T Y JOIN T A R G E T SUP P O R TGROPSREFRAM E F R OM VI C T I M TOEMPOWE R M E N T THI N K I N GMAINTA I N S CHEDU L E SCREATE A S ACRED S P A CEFOR YO U A N D YOU R F A MILYFIND A H O B BY TH A TBRINGS J O YLOVE Y O U R S ELF TAKE M E D I C ATION S A SPRESCR I B E DMAKE Y O U R HOME ASAFETY Z O N EDEVELO P P R IVACYBOUNDA R I E SPRACTI C E F ORGIV E N E S S,APOLOG I E S , & SE T L I FEGOALSSEEK D O C T O R’S C A R EALLOW Y O U R SELF T O H AVEFUN IN Y O U R OWN S P A CE.DANCE, L A U GH, P L A YMUSIC.INVEST I N QUALI T YRELATI O N S H IPSC H E C K L I S TW E L L - B E I N GWO R K B O OKAI A C C HE C K L I ST ( C ) 2 0 2 3WAY S TO R EM AI N BAL AN CE D68

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G O A L SS M A R TSSPECIFICWHAT D O I WANT T OACCOMP L I S H ?MMEASURABLEHOW WI L L I KNOW W H E NIT IS A C C O MPLIS H E D ?AACHIEVABLEHOW CA N T H E GOA L B EACCOMP L I S H ED?RRELEVANTDOES T H I S SEEMWORTHW H I L E ?TTIME BOUNDWHEN C A N I ACCO M P L I SHTHIS G O A L ?WHE N SE TT IN G GO ALS , MA KE S UR E TH E Y FO LL OW T HE S M AR TSTR UC TU RE . US E TH E Q UE ST IO NS B EL O W TO C RE AT E YO U R GO AL S.WO R K B O OKAI A C ( C) 2 0 2 369

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Join UsTo learn more about the Advoc acy i nAction Coalition, visit the AIACpage:https://prisonersfamilyconfer ence. org/advocacy-in-action-coalition/The AIAC worki ng gr oup m eetsvirtually from January through Mayto establish an annual goal ofpresenting empowering andinformative information to theInterNational Prisoner’s FamilyConference. June throughSeptember is spent worki ng on theproject goals, with fewer mee tingsand more focus on the co mplet ion o fproject deliverables.This workbook is an outgrowth of t heAIAC 2023 project goals. THANK YOUAIAC TeamA. Hart-Johnson (c) copyrighted 2023. AIAC Working Group72

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