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Ilene Segalove 21 ST C E NT URY BO O KS BY I LE NE SEGA LOV E 2 Dreams 3 Dreams 42 Dreams 61 Mom Dad Careers Stumbling Blocks DREAMS DREAMS THAT ASK QUESTIONS DREAMS OF WARNING DREAMS ABOUT COLOR DREAMS ABOUT ART DREAMS ABOUT NUMBERS DREAMS THAT BAFFLE DREAMS WITH CELEBRITIES I S EDITIONS MMXXII

I pull off my belt made of intricately woven fish bones filled with live bees I hang it up on a fence post I just don t need it anymore 4 5

DREAMS T H AT A S K QUESTIONS

I am in bed with an Indian woman and JFK in a tiny movie theater Is it on fire 9

A boatman sails to a distant island to capture giant cherries and dig for basalt in the Metatarsal Gorge Where is that 11

My mom places a plastic bag filled with shreds of secrets on the pool table I m not supposed to read nor touch them Should I peek inside 13

I am called to bring a pile of dead frogs back to life How do I get out of here 15

A man named Tom places a gold ring in the shape of a crown on my left baby finger I scream Now what are the rules 17

I m rolled up tight inside of a turquoise carpet What if I lose my datebook 19

I m on a spinning ferris wheel about to crash near an active volcano I shout Will the serum kill me 21

DREAMS OF WA R N I N G

An Austrian woman asks me to drive her across a dangerous bridge She screams Watch the brakes I am thrilled to get her to the other side 25

I am stuck under water I know for a fact Q tips are deadly 27

I am given the gift of a shell with three emeralds The window is open A breeze enters and I read The stage is no place for deception on a slip of paper stuck inside 29

DREAMS ABOUT COLOR

I want to redo the living room I hold up an orange swatch It doesn t match Should I sell the house 33

I change the setting on my modem with a gold soldering gun It shorts out and then my hand lights up and blue goo pours all over 35

I m on an airplane with a cute guy My right foot lights up yellow like I am electrocuted Then a golden dog pees and I say This is my party at last 37

A puppy rolls a large orange ball into my hand 39

DREAMS ABOUT ART

J A makes a photograph of himself gazing into a pit that is a plastic funnel A lion looks at him from below holding a mirror Smoke comes out of his third eye We talk about the photo It s really good It hits the mark We re finally on track 43

I am led into an elevator by my Shadow My Shadow has a Shadow They both look like Honest Abe and both shout out in unison Do not make art out of fear I enter the elevator and hum Pennies from Heaven Be sure your umbrella is upside down 45

My brother looks at a pile of book titles The 007 series I thought it was a Matisse Wrong 47

A toothless Viking named Ulysses demands I make my art much larger or else 49

I m on an airplane with a guy who displays his recent artwork It is a sculptural cross between an Indian an insect and an angel He says I bought Cisco stock That s why I can make this art crap 51

DREAMS ABOUT NUMBERS

Four handsome men help me film the famous Eye of the Sahara in Mauritania They keep saying Four four four four 55

I fall into a puddle In a room with a door flapping on and off in the wind On the door five letters spell D E V I L 57

At a restaurant run by my Asian girlfriend named Spring Eternal She makes steamed orange rind threads and counts them one by one I say Let s dance 59

I put two glasses of water in a trash can and wait for them to shatter 61

K P has two bad legs from an accident He begins to draw money from around the world His wife says he is afraid of referred pain She opens up an umbrella to demonstrate 63

A woman faces me with eyelids sewn shut A thread on the edge begs to be pulled Her lawyer shouts 2795 Get a suitcase made of snakeskin Get it now 65

I hand a glass of water to a man lying on a bed and then bend down to lick the sweat off his neck He tells me he owns all 474 of the Trader Joe s stores No one this successful has ever been this attractive to me I whistle Dixie 67

DREAMS T H AT BAFFLE

I dream I can eliminate evil I gaze at an object and it can bleed ooze melt GONE But when I reach into my wallet it is still there Uh oh 71

Pam poses with her back to the camera for her new book How to Know Your Man I am proud of her honesty Later a shaggy dog enters the room Why won t she face the camera 73

I bounce a green ball and notice there is no shadow I better call someone and report this Maybe it is high noon What if it isn t 75

A woman gives me a sheet of paper with an unreadable list of things to check off I am supposed to take a test using droplets to write with I am confused 77

Wendy and I stare at the steeple of our old grammar school I say Bullshit to someone out front I am sure it is chronic We didn t remember a steeple before 79

A man breathes into my mouth and me into his I say I remember this but I have no road map 81

I am on a boat sailing to Hawaii The captain says This is good for you It is deep out here and can hold all of your feelings I realize I am missing my body 83

My sister sits under a hair dryer I tell her I was blindsided I didn t know the enemy would go down that fast 85

A sword and harp fly by Why am I in Mexico I shout Pizza please 87

A letter appears on my desk The wastebasket holds ashes of my dead mother covered with her cigarette butts Dad watches a golf show and shouts Is that a Birdie or a Raven 89

I am being advised by an ancient priest whose head lives in a furry house slipper He speaks in tongues but I gather he says Try the Juno device on your new stove I do have a new stove but no Juno device that I m aware of 91

My dog Doc gazes at me I m told he was recently kicked out of the dog hotel for acting up I pluck a nail out of his forehead Why was it there 93

Mom visits and admires how clean my basement is I tell her there is a batch of newborn wolves living down there She says So what 95

I m stuck in China with military all around I see a hairpin float toward me and open my mouth and realize I cannot speak I mouth Help and gaze down at a sweet potato someone tosses at my feet 97

Dad is in jail He s lost the hearing in his left ear I bring him a bouquet gladiolus a pad of paper a pen and ask Have you written the official Guidebook to Behind Bars 99

DREAMS WITH CELEBRITIES

I am in a laboratory Bob Dylan is the control group He sings How many Gs must a man endure Why are a girl s panties on the floor 103

Mandy Patinkin is being injected with a red liquid I m looking for apt 215 I say He points knowingly to the noisy ceiling fan 105

Peeking into a dark motel office I see Santa Claus doing a crossword puzzle He asks What is a three letter word for creepy 107

JFK asks me to comment on his film called Evil Owls I shout They will melt your heart and your car Why is the out of print magazine George in the room 109

The man who killed JFK is in my house He looks like Gomer Pyle I scream Mom Mom and try to make some pancakes and bacon 111

I walk into my hotel room Pierce Brosnan is in bed with Catherine Zeta Jones I open a book by Jung and pay the bill 113

I see a silhouette of a man holding a sign Balance Oprah is offstage talking about propaganda The train worries me It must weigh tons What if the stage collapses 115

I hear silly music Amy Schumer enters I say That can t be music from your dreams She says I like it It reminds me of New England I say I don t believe it Your dream should have a darker base line 117

I am in bed with Paul Rudd He says You are the next Ant Woman I see a costume hanging from a wire I think that will fit me Rudd says Let s go I am afraid but I say OK 119

John Lennon hands me a clay menorah He says I made it for only you The song Only You plays in the background 121

I am invited to perform oral sex on the Dalai Lama It takes a long time to walk to his tent in the dark 123

Artie Shaw gives spiritual guidance to forty men He whispers he was married eight times His clarinet plays Begin the Beguine 125

My old therapist tells me I threw money out on him Billy Bob Thornton appears under a blue blanket and shouts I m looking for a combination man god I say Can t you see what s right in front of you 127

Demi Moore pours me a shot of tequila I tell her I don t drink She puts on bifocals to read the tiny print on the spine of a nameless book 129

Paul McCartney is drawing something on a huge screen Murmurs in the air whisper This is a new shape Never been seen before 131

I m at a paint store with Ben Affleck He says When you love you need to add the opposite to make it brighter Like with red You need to add green Then it glows 133

Brad Pitt and I have sex He doesn t cum because he says Jon Hamm is on his way over 135

I m on a hike with Robert Redford I hold my datebook tightly Someone shouts A giant Strigiformes It goes for my hair and I figure he thinks I m vermin Should I get a rabies shot 137

I am in a thrift store Madonna works behind the counter She tries to sell me a lampshade covered with painted stencils of Hebrew text I know it s not Hebrew 139

I lean into Joaquin Phoenix at a coffee shop I hear a series of loud explosions You ve been blowing up your eggs I say Let s go get an egg timer 140 141

Ilene Segalove is a conceptually driven multi media artist who bounces between TYPESET IN M I N I O N A N D I NTE RS TATE multiple platforms From photographic and D R E A M S C O N C E P T D R AWI N G S BY video narratives to audio commentaries for I L E N E S EGA L OV E NPR from academia as professor and mentor to book editor and writing consultant she B O O K D E S I G N BY is also the author of numerous quirky books J O H N BA L K WI L L Her work is collected by many noteworthy institutions including The MET MOMA The MMXXII Getty LACMA The Hammer and MOCA Segalove lives in Santa Barbara California with infinite succulents and no living pets COPYRIGHT 2022 BY ILENE SEGALOVE ISBN 978 0 9908815 3 7

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