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By Lysz Flo12 stepsOF LETTING GO

12 STEPSOF LOVE LOSTBY LYSZ FLO12 STEPSA PRELUDE & INTERLUDE TOSOLILOQUY OF AN ICE QUEEN HOW DO YOU PROCESS THE ENDWHEN YOU NEVER SAW ITCOMING? THE BRAIN UNDERSTANDS BUT THE BODY & HEART STAYSLOOKING IN BACK.

12 Steps of Letting Love be Lost 1

Foreward Love was my addiction for many years It was easier to love someone else than myself I intertwined so deeply that I didn t have me left at the end Fragments I had to put back together more than once That last one without goodbyes without fanfare only a consent of letting go marked the end As I work on my next installment of Soliloquy of an Ice Queen i present to you this offering of the struggle the late night thoughts weariness and note app poems that held my shame of wanting what isn t anymore And still writing poems to ghost s past Thank you to all those who celebrate me has read a word or the whole novel We are healing but until then my 12 steps Said to a friend who said it was a bar you don t mourn those you never loved you mourn those you did 2

Table of Contents Step A 4 Step B 5 Step C 6 Step D 7 Step E 8 Step F 9 Step G 10 Step H 11 Step I 12 Step J 13 Step K 14 Step L 15 3

Step A How do I calm m y skin to be touched by you How do I l to the songs we moaned to s i c r e s a m t How do I stop myself from calling out for you When my DNA holds yours so dear 4 i n e g n

Step B You do it cobarde Tell my soul We no lon ger be long in unison 5

Step C I touch myself yet my body Says it s not quite The way he did a sigh of heartbreak 6

Step D He said unblinkingly He s tattooed inside me now somehow I am supposed to NOT retrace each cur ve of each lev el that he imprints 7

Step E How do I explain to my sheets You won t be coming back to keep us warm 8

Step F My body is a t r a i tur nin into d r o p l e t s of lust at the sight of you I smile anyway hugging ourselves into a memory 9 t o r

Step G I don t send the text you respond anyway soft touches on my subconscious eyes close minds meet telling me telepathically I know 10

Step H and it hurts tears me apart I realize we drain each other exhuming mutually we were poison and loved the tinge of its bitterness in each others nectar too sharp to not be confused by shared pleasure My heart s eyes water at the viciousness of this ache Our love hidden behind uncertainty self protecting anxiety haphazardly free 11

Step I Love wasn t enough E v e r y our fears and silence S i n g l e paramount in comparison making us a shadow play of romance tragedies Almost starring two stubborn cowards I beg this malheure to be loosen around my lumped sorrow until nightfall where i can crumple in the shadows 12 T i m e

Step J T h e w i t h d r come when the world stops in places between morning and evening heart and trapped tears resilience and wavering need and want twisting and tempering betwixt skin sensory nerves and brain cells clumsily forcing to be platonic because love won t let us leave I want yesterday but the future digs into me leaving half moons 13 a w a l s

Step K When I stop my eyes glaze over I travels to you third eye raven my way to what once was what coulda been what almost did snapping back I am left gasping for air as I bob for memories in the ocean of tears 14

Step L I have good days sunny days days where my eyes are heavy clouds doing my best to release the dreams of entitlement Oh how I loved the idea of us I remember why it was only a concept never conviction filled execution letting us be lost in the pool of wasted ink 15