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The Banana

The Best Info on the World's #1 Fruit by Lucas Jong

No, that's not my mom, I'm just complaining that she forced me to dedicate this book to her.

To babies who eat bananas everywhere, and for my mom. (The mom part was required or else I wouldn't be able to watch T.V. this weekend.)

Dedication

MOM!

The banana is very well known throughout the world. It’s one of those foods that everybody knows. All you need to know about it is in here, but if you have any questions, well, there’s always the appendix...

 

Welcome to the Wonderful World of... Bananas?!

That is NOT the daughter named Banana. ---------->

     The banana wasn’t always one of the world’s top-producing foods. In fact, at one time the banana didn’t officially exist at all! In 8000 B.C. (translation: a long time ago), though, in the Kuk valley of New Guinea, some farmers said this… I think:

     “Hey, guys! I found some yellow curved fruit that tastes really good!”

*Munch munch* “Wow! Do you think we should grow it? What should we call it?”

     Then the farmer’s daughter named Banana came and said, “Let's name it, 'banana'!”. After that, well, the banana was born into farming. The real story is unknown, so let’s just keep it at this for now.

     After about two millennia, this new “banana” spread to other regions that are now:

Indonesia

Malaysia

India

and Australia.

 

The Banana's Grandpa's Grandpa's Grandpa's Great Grandpa

     In the 13th century, the Japanese admired the banana very much. This was so because the soft fibers inside of bananas could also be used to lace the inner layer of kimonos (Japanese formal garments). Additionally, the ancient civilization of the Incas buried important figures in the society such as nobles, priests, or kings with banana leaves. This led to archaeologists thinking that the banana had some sort of religious bond.

      Some African peoples used banana seeds (yes, bananas actually have seeds) for necklaces and the sap of a banana plant for fabric dyeing. Also, in Hawai’i some ancient myths connect plantains (a more starchy version of the banana) to a “semi-mythical” native (to Hawai’i) race called the Menehunes. In Britain, an all-female pop band was created named, “Bananarama”. A great name, isn’t it?

 

The Godly Banana

     Some people know that bananas are chock-full of potassium. Not a lot of people know that shoe polish is too! So instead of buying shoe polish, buy a “hand” of bananas (yes, I will explain the “hand”), eat one, take the inside of the peel and rub it on your (hopefully leather) shoe! (It might make people think you bought your shoes at the Leather Banana store.)

     Have a mosquito bite? Eat a banana and apply the peel’s inside to it. The swelling and itching will be reduced. If you are smoking, have depression, or have no energy, eat bananas between meals; the nutrients in the banana can help you a lot in these areas. Had a stroke recently? Death by a stroke can be lowered to 40% if.. well, you guessed it: eat some bananas!

The Banana is Special and it's not afraid to show it

     At a time, when humans were not as pollutive as they are today, there used to be many, MANY types of the banana, such as fuzzy-peeled ones, stripe-peeled ones, and bananas that had a strawberry kind of taste. The most common version of the banana today is the Cavendish banana, but scientists estimate that in about two decades, this banana will go extinct. To give you an idea of what the Cavendish is, it’s usually what you see in the banana aisles at your local supermarket. You can say bye-bye to that when you get a job.

     The plantain is another type of banana. This banana is more of a vegetable. This is so because it has a more starchy feel, and it is better cooked than eaten raw, as some people say, whereas if one cooked a Cavendish banana it would be a big pile of mushy mush.

 

The Banana's Extended Family

 

EVERYWHERE!

Banana Milkshake

Ingredients:

  • A frozen banana

  • 2% fat milk

  • 1.5 tbsp of cocoa

Step 1. Peel the frozen banana and slice it up.

Step 2.  Pour the cocoa, 1 cup of the milk into a blender, and the slices into the blender

Step 3. Let it rip! Then enjoy.

These two treats together make a great (but moderately unhealthy) snack.

Who cares?!?

How to (Do the Impossible) make a Banana Better than it Already is

     Banana-and-peanut butter-sandwich

Ingredients:

  • Bread

  • Peanut Butter
  • Banana slices

Step 1. Take a slice of bread and spread peanut butter on it.

Step 2. Spread the the banana slices out on the peanut butter.

Step 3. Put the second piece of bread on and voila!

 

S’more banana

Ingredients:

  • A banana

  • Mini-marshmallows

  • Chocolate chips

  • Crushed graham crackers

  • Aluminium foil

  • A grill or oven (the grill is preferred)

Step 1. Preheat your choice of heating device to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (205 degrees Celsius)

Step 2. Take your banana and slice ONLY the inside of the curve so that the actual banana is showing. Place it on the aluminium.

Step 3. (Here’s the good part) Fill it up as much as wanted (possible) with marshmallows and chocolate chips.

Step 4. Wrap the banana-marshmallow-chocolate-chips with the aluminium and place it in the grill for 5-6 min. (If you have an oven, bake it for the same amount of time, then take aluminium off and broil it for 5-6 min.)

Step 5. After grilling/baking-broiling/smelling, sprinkle the graham crackers on the open incision (where the marshmallows and chocolate are).

Step 6. Enjoy! The s’more theme makes it an ideal camping dessert.

How to (Do the Impossible) make a Banana Better than it Already is; Part II

Bananas are technically berries!

A bunch of bananas with 10-25 of them in it is called a “hand”.

It is America’s #1 fruit.

It is available all year round.

In Eastern Africa, you can buy beer. Not just any beer though. Banana beer!

The average American eats about 27 pounds of bananas each year.

Bananas grow on trees!...not. The banana grows on a giant herb. Adding to that, bananas grow upside-down.

Fun Things you Might not know About Bananas

In conclusion, the banana is one of the best foods on earth for its healthy nutrients, awesome taste, and remarkable name.

 

The Epic Ending of the Banana Book

The Banana's Export and Growing Record

Do Monkeys eat Bananas?

 

 

    No, this legend is not true. The domesticated banana that is grown by farmers is too "sugary" for wild monkeys to eat. Some zoos have actually banned monkeys from eating bananas as it would give many bad diseases, such as diabetes. Also, their teeth would become unable to use, for they would get cavities. 

     The banana is not bad (as you've seen in this whole book), it's just that we humans are super tough.

Bananas are NOT Eaten by Monkeys...

WHAT?!? Oh, wait, I'm an orangutan. I DO eat bananas.

Want to know all about that yellow phone-shaped fruit that you're craving? Learn more in this book!