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During this time I still had her in my thoughts, and whenever i had the chance, I'd
still try to talk so sweetly to her. Before I parted to Spain the first time, I had a
small gathering at my house, and of course I invited Jocelyne. During the night
something that I will always cherish, is how loving she was to my dog Bambi. It
was an importante moment to me because Bambi is a very jealous dog and to
my complete surprise, Bambi was very welcoming to Jocelyne while I had her on
my lap. Towards the end of the night after a couple drinks, I found my self alone
with her on my couch sitting close to her. Suddenly I thought that it was my
opportunity to finally do something about my feelings towards her, every single
nerve in my body was pushing towards kissing her, my heart was beating so hard
and fast i could of sworn she heard it. Of course nothing happened, I did not
have the courage to act upon my feelings, so again I left things how they were.
While at Spain I found my self many times thinking about being there with
her. She had mentioned to me that she enjoyed history which for one really
shocked me because Iv'e come across very few people that actually like learning
about history, and when ever I saw anything historical or beautiful, I would take
pictures and not wait to go home to show her and tell her all about it. I sent her a
picture of my self in Bilbao thinking not much of it, and when i saw that she had
screen shot it, it made me smile tremendously, it was a moment in which I could
not wait to hug her. When I came back from Spain I had the need to tell her about
everything, and when I finally saw her I did. The way she would listen attentively
and with care made me enjoy talking to her so much, she was the first person
that I told about my experiences and my excitement and everything that i could
possibely think of. To be quite honest I also showed off a bit, talking about the
nice hotels we stayed in, the coach bus that was provided for us, the bars I
visited, and about the kids that asked to take picture with us and had hundreds of
questions about us. The conversation I had with her was the best one I had that
involved my trip to Spain, the most genuine and sought out.
When I learned that I was wanted back in Spain, that I had left an impression on
people and that I was well liked, and that I had an opportunity, I broke down. I
remember the day perfectly, I was driving home from a friends house on a
Sunday afternoon, getting off the 101 freeway on cahuenga going home when I
got the call, I had to pull over on Camarillo St. because what I was hearing was
sureal, I thought it couldn't be true, that they had me confused with someone
else, but when they confirmed it was me who they wanted, it was feeling that
brought tears to my eyes. I had waited my whole life to hear those news.
I told Jocelyne about it the most casual way possible, it was on a Wednesday
meeting and she was seated with Bernie and Amy, when the topic came up and i
stated that I was heading back to Spain. They were all happy for me, that was
also the day she mentioned that she missed my hugs, that lately I had stopped
giving her my usual hugs. I didn't think much of what she said, but I knew she
was right, I had stopped giving her my usual hugs, to be frank I was
subconciously doing it to make it really seem I had no feelings for her, I never
wanted to show my real feelings to her or anyone to even notice, so much that it
got to the point where I'd talk less an less sweetly to her. During this time I would
also joke around with other people how she was my girl and that one day I'd
make her mine, that she just didn't know it yet, one of those people was Daniella.
I remember one time where I actually told her I had feelings for her, se told me to
be patient and that she would eventually come around, I agreed confidently. I
could have only wished for something as great as that to happen.
There came a day where we both had agreed on watching the movie It, neither of
us had ever seen it and so initiated the fact that I would like to go watch the
movie with her, she agreed and told me to follow up with the plans. So a couple
days later I did as i said I would, I texted her. The thought of even having a
reason to text her gave me the greatest joy and anticipation, yet I would sill get
nervous to text her because back then she was such a mystery to me, I didn't
know much of her and stepping into her world made me want to lose myself in it.
So when the Friday came to go see the film I could not wait a minute longer so I
could go pick her up, and when i finally would, it was a unique feeling, one that I
had never experienced before, it's difficult to explain but it was a pleasing yet
confused or distant maybe even threatning feeling, like if i was not worthy of her
presence. Regardless that feeling would pass and then I would find my self in the
theater and her effortless charisma enchanting me with every spoken word would
drive me crazy, and to top it off her smile and eyes would awaken my heart to
her. being inside the theater it was difficult to concentate on the movie because i
would glance over at her to see how beautiful she looked in the darkness of the
theater and how concentrated she would look. I had the deepest urge to remove
the arm rest between us and simpy have her lay her head on my shoulder, or be
able to wrap my arm around her, or simply hold her hand. I wanted to show her I
felt, but I did not want to make her uncomfortable since I thought there was a
possibility she did not feel the same way.
Our next "date" was not too long after, it was to a play of a friend of mine,
Grayson, we had actually been to one of his previous plays and again was
invited to attend by him. I told Jocelyne about it and she agreed to accompany
me, again was extremely excited being able to go on a "date" however i was sure
she never saw it that way since I made everything way to casual, Im really proud
of my self for doing such a great job in keeping it casual to be honest. By now my
feelings had grown again for her, and the most it had ever been. We enjoyed
ourselves at the play, it was quite wonderful, and afterwords we praised Grayson
for his performance and when i introduced Jocelyne to him for the second time, I
really hesitated in using the word friend, how I wish I could have just said
girlfriend. Afterwords we decided to have dinner, and I remember driving down
the freeway talking so effortlessly yet genuinly, it was a conversation I can't
remember to well, but I can remember how I felt, it was a feeling of excitement, a
feeling of something new, like wearing a new pair of shoes. When we finally
agreed to go to The Cheesecake Factory she told the waitress that it was my
birthday and she recrded the whole thing, it made me smile and blush and i
couldn't help but think that it would be amazing having her as my girlfriend. On
the way back home, I knew there was something special about her. Im not sure
how it came up but we started talking about classical music, and that's when she
told me that she enjoyed and listened to it as well. It was something truly
amazing, i do not exaggerate when i say Iv'e waited for someone that I can enjoy
going to a play with, listen to classical music with, to share my true feelings, the
real me as cliche as it may sound, ive always wanted someone that i could share
more than just, a meal, conversation, or a movie with, to me it goes much deeper
than that. When we finally made it outside of her house we sat inside my car for a
while just talking, but for me it felt much more than that, I felt and electric tension
between us that I'm not to sure if she felt too. She would talk and to be quite
frank i wasn't listening 100% of the time becaus eI was to debating if should kiss
her not, doubting if she felt anything for me. The way i looked at her and even at
her lips makes me wonder how she did not notice that I wanted to be much more
than friends. At last another opportunity went by when she left my car with
untouched lips, and I kicked myself for it. However, she told me to send her a
message letting her know as soon as I got home but I told her I didn't like to do
that but she kept on insisting that I would, I told her I didn't make any promises
because I don't like to break them and we left it that I'd try to do it. The reson why
I didnt mesage her right away was because I went to grab a shake afterwords
and before i had the chance to send her a mesage, she messaged me " Text
meee". After that I knew that she would of kissed me back, and she would of
enjoyed it as much as I did. I had a smile from ear to ear.
Monday night came and that night I had a meeting with my coach, contact from
Spain and teammates. The meeting was to inform us about the opportunity we
had in Spain and when were going to leave, they told us that they needed us out
there as soon as possible and that they had gotten the tickets for the upcoming
Sunday. It was about fucking time for me I had been waiting imptiently since
August and to finally hear the exact dates when we were to part gave me the
greatest sense of joy and relief.
I messaged Jocelyne right after to tell her that I wanted to hang out with her
again before I left and when she asked when, I realized that I had not much time
I could really spend with her and suddenly the joy slipped away and I began to
realize that I was leaving a lot more than I ever thought. I proceeded to tell her
that I was leaving by the following Sunday, we tried to plan something during the
week but that didn't quite work out. Then we, well mostly her, planned to have a
small going away gathering with our friends the Friday before I left.
I looked forward to Friday and I had honestly been looking fro a reason to drink
heavily, but besdies that I was glad I was having one more time to be with my
friends before I left. Friday came and my intentions of the night were to get
completely drunk and have a great time, nothing more, nothing less. When I
came back with the pizzas that's when the drinking began and that's also when
Jocelyne had arrived, she was the first person I noticed as soon as I walked
through the doors, how could I not? She's a genuine beauty. I got so nervous I
completely forgot to say hello to her and I casually ignored/ avoided her. Why?
Because im an idiot. The night continued ad I finally greeted her and we took a
couple of shots together and spent some time talking. At some point in the night I
was handed over the mic for kareoke and the first song that came to mind was
"Hermoso CariƱo" by Vicente Fernandez. But I was to do a deut with Raul and he
did not know the song very well so instead we sang "El Rey" by Vicente
Fernandez. The night continued and I drank and drank like an Irishman and I had
so many shots in celebratory of my parting that soon enough I completely forgot
what the fuck happened for the rest of the night. The last thing I remember was
telling Jocelyne that I wanted to walk her home, then next thing I know I'm getting
dropped off at my house, next thing I'm getting hit by my mother calling me a
drunk and asking where my car was.
As im driving my Dads truck half drunk to pick up my last pay check, I recieve a
message from Daniella asking if I was still wanted to grab breakfast with her and
Jocelyne, I hesitated because I had so much to do, Finally i figured that it would
be a good idea to eat so I agreed and I insisted that I'd get picked up last
because i was caught up watching The Office with my coworker.
At breakfast, which was practically lunch, not much happened I was to busy
trying to keep my head from spinning and wondering about last minute things
that I needed to do before I left that to be honest I didn't pay too much attention
to what was going on, but the times that I was listening, I overheard Daniella and
Jocelyne say that they couldn't remember the last time they had recieved any
flowers and how much they enjoyed the act of it, and I wanted to give them that
joy out of the goodness of my heart. So when we had finally picked up my keys
and made it to the location of my car, they expected that was going to be the last
time they were to see me so they got ready to say their goodbyes but I acted as if
I were to see them the next day so I gave them a quick good bye with out any
sentiment. They stood there really perplexed because I had given them both
what would barely be considered a hug and a see you later, no that I look back at
it, they must of thought that I was being cold and cruel, but it was worth what I
was going to do.
Soon fter I drove off to the flower shop and I bought a rose for Daniella and two
roses for Jocelyne, then I headed over to Daniella's house to say a proper
goodbye and give her the flower that I had go for her. She was very thankful and
pleased and it warmed my heart knowing that I genuinly made her smile and
happy. I then headed over to Jocelyne's house to giver her the flowers, when I
arrived and I explained to her why I had given her such a crapy goodbye, and I
showed her the flowers I could see how happy I had made her. With a curious
smile she then asked if I remembered anything from the night before. As soon as
those words slippedd from her mouth, my heart dropped like a droplet of water
into an echoing well. I immediatley knew what she was talking about, I must of
told her how much I actually liked her, more than just a friend. I acted as if I had
no clue what she was talking about because quite frankly I did not remember
much from the night before, then she asked if I wanted to know what had
happened, part of me did because of the curiosity, yet I did not want to find out
only to have my hopes shattered, so i did what any resonable person would do, I
stalled. I really did not know if I wanted to hear what she had to say and she had
completely left it up to me, I was extremely nervous and I could not even look at
her in the eye and i was figiting uncontrolably and I felt as if I was going to
recieve the worst news of my life. I finally gave into her telling me what had
happened and while she was recalling what had happened, the whole time i
stood there so embarresed yet happy. After three or so years of liking her I finally
did tell her how much I fucken liked her and how I thought about her everyday I
was proud of myself in a way but yet I was dying of embaressmant because of
the way I had gone and told her, I was completely drunk and so straight forward.
Then she mentioned how I kissed her and I just know I had the biggest smile on
my face but I kicked my self for not remembering my kiss with her, so to me it
was as if nothing had ever happened. After she had told me everything we stood
in silence, I cant even begin to imagine how she must of felt, but I just needed to
know if the feelings I had for her were mutual. When I built enough courage to
ask, she said partly. To me that was yes and that was good enough for me at the
moment because there I stood with Jocelyne after so many years of just a
thought and imagination, my dream finally became a reality and I was proud of
my drunk self for finally kissing her. We kind of stood there awkwardly talking
about what had happened and how it sucked that I was leaving the next day for a
few months, when I had decided I had to leave. The first ime I tried saying
goodbye it was a hug but then we started talking more, then while we were
talking I just knew I had to kiss her agian, so with every single ounce of courage
and my heart beating dangerously fast, I stepped forward and I grabbed her and I
kissed her. When our lips finally met, my heart suddenly slowed down and I could
feel every muscle in my body relax while time stopped and there I stood in a
perfect dream of mine, a kiss that I would always cherish and definetly not forget.
It was difficult to say goodbye but when we finally did I headed home with a
genuine smile and a beam of hope that maybe, just maybe I could make
something of the kisses we shared. While I was trying to pack I found it hard to
concentrate because I couldn't stop thinking about her, that's when I decided to
ask if I could see her again because I just had to still see her while I still had the
chance. I was extremely excited when she said that she felt the same way that
she wanted to see me again so we set that I'd head over to her brother's place as
soon as I got the chance to do so. 11 pm hit and that's when I finally found some
time to go ahead and see her but with my luck I couldn't find my car keys, I spent
half an hour looking for them before I realized that I had left them in Luis' car
again. I spent another fifteen minutes looking for my brother's car keys then I was
so frustrated that I was about to start running to go see her, but then I realized I
could take my Dad's truck. When I sped down the road and finally found parking,
I stood outside her brothers place standing nervously, then she opened the door
and told me to come over. As I greeted her I could not believe how beautifully
stunning she looked and we stepped inside and sat down on the couch, I
searched around the room and remmebered this was where I had also blacked
out almost a year before. We sat on the coach together and I held her in my arms
like how I wanted to back then when we were in the movie theaters, I played with
her hair and I carresed her shoulder and we talked about how crazy and fast
everything had happened between us. It was also exciting because I was really
close to meeting Cami, Jocelyne's neice, for the first time, but she was asleep,
and eventually woke up but Jocelyne was quick to put her to sleep, which I think
she did so gracefully and caringly. Before we knew it almost two hour passed by,
and that was the first time I was to experience how fucking fast time sped up
when I was with Jocelyne, it was not enough time. I struggled in saying goodbye,
every time I tried, my lips found it's way back to hers, or my arms wanting to hold
her. Finally I gave her one last kiss and hug, exchanged a couple of sweet words
to each other, and I stepped away slowly with out turning my back to her, each
step placed me further and further away from her and I did not know how I was
suppossed to be half way across the world from her when it ached every time I
stepped just a few feet away from her. The last image I had of her was her
standing on the porch with a dim light behind her and a cold mist making the
distance even greater, she stood there with a soft smile, arms crossed and a pair
of smiling eyes as I waved one final goodbye, then I set off home.
The next morning with only 45 minutes of sleep I headed to LAX for my flight to
arrive by 5:30 am. While I was getting situated, I recieved a text from Jocelyne
asking if I had arrived to the airport on time, this to me meant a whole lot
because it was early when she sent the message, knowing that she only had a
few hours of sleep, she made the effort to get up and message me, I appreciated
it so much, if it wasn't for that message I don't think I would of planned on talking
to her until a couple days later. She had also asked to let her know as soon as I
arrived to my destination points, which was first Miami, then Madrid, finally
Santilla Del Mar. I did as she asked.
From that point forward I began to text her everyday, and I do not exaggerate
when I say that I thought about her constantly, all I could think is what would be
like If I was still home with her, where I'd take her out and it be an actual date for
both of us and not just me. I had the urge to continue being caring and charming
so I wrote her a poem, she told me she enjoyed it so much that then I took it
upon my self to continue writing to her, whether it was another poem, or simply
put on paper how I was feeling. Then I had the idea of sending her flowers, I had
never sent flowers to anyone before, so I had to search for a company that
would, and after hours of choosing the right website and selecting which flowers
would be best, I sent her roses to her job. When the daay cam for her to recieve
the flowers, I felt like that particular day had 52 hours in it because I waited and
waited, and I was just so excited for to get her beautiful roses and the little not I
had written on there. When she let me know she got them and told me how much
she enjoyed them, I felt extremely happy and just amazing because I knew I
made her happy and I even surprised her being 6,000 miles away.
Part of me didn't want anything serious with anyone because I knew what I was
about to do was going to be time consuming and exhausting, I also thought that it
would be almost impossible to try being in a relationship. After I had told Jocelyne
how I felt and how she felt something too, I felt a countless amount of emotions,
happiness, sadness, hopefulness, proudness, but I also felt scared. I was afraid
because I didn't want anything or anyone getting in the way of my dreams and
goals and I didn't want to take any chances, I was 100% committed, but after
kissing her and sharing a few yet memorable moments with her, I felt that it
would affect me drastically, that perhaps I wouldn't be as committed or even
distracted. But as time progressed I found that I had nothing to worry about, little
by little I noticed that I was becoming a better person, and that was because of
her, how could I be afraid of becoming a better person?
Time progressed and everything seemed to be going greta between the both of
us, everyday that passed I found myself liking her more and more, every phone
call with her would be like having a slice of my favorite pie. Calling her was my
absolute favorite, I would close my eyes and I'd begin to imagine as if she were
sitting next to me on my lonely bench, 6,000 miles felt nothing more than three
feet away from her. Her beauty and kindness would resonate through her voice
and suddenly those winter mornings felt more like summer evenings. Her
impeccable voice made my frustration, sadness, anxiety, impatience all vanish
with a simple phone call. Those phone calls kept me sane while I struggled to
adjust to a new life, and for that I am thankful. I would catch my self manny time
while talking on the phone with her just sitting back and thinking how amazing of
a person she was, and there were times where I just wanted to her that I loved
her. But something as big as that I wanted to wait in person to say, so I had to
come up with other ways to expressing my affection towards, I'd say things like
how I liked her much more than pie, although I made it seem hard to admit. She
definetly made Spain so much easier, and the best thing about the nine hour time
difference was that every morning I had the luxury of looking forward to her texts.
As the two long months would come to an end, my excitement to go home was
uncontrolable, I was extremely happy to be able to count down the days instead
of the hours. My heart would race, smile widen, and I'd get nervous thinking
about finally seeing Jocelyne after such a long time. I led Jocelyne to believe that
I was to arrive home on Friday the 29th, but in fact I was arriving the day day
before. The plan was to surprise her completely, it wasn't much of a time
difference but I figured a whole day ealier would be an amazing gesture. I was to
call her Thursday night explaining to her how I had missed my flight because I
had spent a whole day and night of partying, that I had gotten so drunk that I had
lost track of time. Tell her that my flight was going to take another day or two, I'd
figure that by now she'd be pretty pissed off so I'd tell her that that somehow I
was going to make it up to her, by now I'd be right outside her home and
eventually tell her to come out that I was messing around the whole time, and
then finally greet her. But it did not go as planned.
When I arrived to LAX Josh and Luis picked me up from the airport, they had to
wait a bit because the airline had lost my luggage. When i finally got out of
airport, the long commute back home but to be frank I did not mind at all because
i was able to catch up with two of my best friends. Our plan was was to go to
Salsa and Beer but by the time that we arrived, it had gotten pretty late and there
was a tremendous waiting time, we decided it was best that we'd head to
Daniel's tacos. The first meal I had being back in the states, 1 burrito de asada y
cinco tacos al pastor, with an horchata. Best fucking meal I'd had in two
treacherous months. Afterwords we headed to my place to continue talking and
proceed with the alcholic beverages, we each took four shots of Patron Tequila
and began to remenisce on old memories. After some time, Josh eventually left
leaving Luis with me and also with out a ride back home, befor we headed out we
had one more shot of tequila. I grabbed my keys and I headed to the back of my
house to find my car, where it sat perfectly modeled as if it had been waiting for
me seductively. I smiled instantly and I walked to the driver seat and i unlocked
rhe car and i opened the door and soon after i sunk into the seat with my eyes
closed finally feeling like I had made it home. Luis waited outside on the
passenger side while I settled in. We drove to Frys so that I could pick up a
phone charger since mine had stayed with my luggage that the airport lost. I
quickly parked and I sped inside the store having Jocelyne in my thoughts,
thinking that the sooner i got out of ther the sooner I'd be able to surprise her.
However the line to pay was as long as an In n Out line so i knew I'd have to be
there for a while I texted Jocelyne telling her that she should not fall asleep and
tht it was important that she didm't. My heart kept sinking as the time kept
passing with out a response from her. I finally got out of the store and I sped to
drop Luis off at home, then I sped back in the opposite direction, calling and
calling Jocelyne's phone. There was no answer, after about 6 calls I had gave up
and faced the fact that she had indeed fallen asleep, I felt defeated, heart broken,
and guilty, I had promised to see her the day that I got back but i broke it.
The next day I had to explain to her what had happened, and i was tempted to
continue the anecdote that I had missed my flight but it felt cruel. I continued to
text her for the entire day but not giving her a definite time to go ahead and see
her. During the day I had planned to have lunch with Maurice, I figured since
Jocelyne did not get out of work until 2 pm anyway, I'd have the lunch. But the
time go pushed from 12 to 1, and before we headed to luch we had to stoop by
the post office and pharmacy. By the time time we got to Salsa and Beer it was
almost 3, we then had an hour wait and sat to eat our food for about another hour
and a half. Afterwards it was 6 pm already and just as I thought I was going to be
dropped off home, Maurice made oe last pit stop to Target. Finally made it home
around 7 pm, I ran out the car and not sure if I had even said good bye to
Maurice, I jumped in and out of the shower and changed into new clothing,
sprayed myself with cologne, combed my hair neatly, and brushed my teeth. I ran
back outside to my car only to run back inside the house since I had forgotten my
keys and wallet, like usual. I drove to the flower store and as soon as I picked the
rose bouqet and went to the counter to pay, the women told asked me if it was an
important day. I told he of course since i was finally going to see my girl after
being in Spain, she smiled and told me she'd be sure to see me soon. She was
right.
I closed the car door behind me and I called Jocelyne immediately, I asked her
what she was doing and she told me that she was going to head out, my heart
dropped, when I asked her where she wouldn't say. I proceeded to ask if I could
see her if I was even going to see her that night at all, she sounded unsure and
wouldn't answer me directly, then she asked where I was and I told her casually
that I was driving around waiting what to do, finally she gave in and told me to go
over. I said I'd be there in a matter of minutes. Before i even got off the phone, I
stepped on the gas pedal as hard as I could and sped down Vineland cutting
through traffic and seconds became minutes to me, I felt that I wasn't going fast
enough to see Jocelyne but when I checked the time I noticed that I was going
almost 75 mph in a 35 mph street, I made it to the alley way in a matter of
minutes, and I parked right behind her home and I shut off the car and placed the
flowers on the seat. I called Jocelyne letting her know I was outside. My heart
raced dramatically and my heart began beating uncontrollobly like a drum, and I
was sure that my heart would peirce through my chest because of the violent
pounding. After two dreadful months with out laying eyes on Jocelyne, she would
appear to me in a matter of seconds, finally the countdown would be over. I was
awaken from my thoughts when I heard the gate slide open and then just a few
feet away stood my lovely Jocelyne, I smiled genuinly feeling accomplished, yet
for half a second I was unable to move as if I were cemented on the street. Then
with out thought I stepped out of the abyss and into her caring arms, I hugged
her so tightly and the arroma of her hair stroked my nose, the warmth of her body
became equal to mine, my heart pounded on her chest, and I did my best to
control my violent breathing. She fit so perfectly in my arms, and then I pressed
my lips against hers, feeling as if my lips were drowned in honey, and for the
second I escaped from life and everything in it and only her and I were left,
sharing a beautiful kiss under a December night. We pulled away from eachother
and there we stood with the biggest smiles on our faces, but I had done wrong by
waiting too long to see her that day, which I did and I tried to explain knowing that
my words wouldn't mean much, so I simply told her that I'd make it up to her.
We sat across from eachother at a table at The Republic of Pie, were we once
sat as just friends, there stood the very same girl but with different feelings.
Sitting there, all I could do is sit there and hate how much the table had put a
tremendous amount of distnace between us, and I thought how I wish we could
of done anyhting else that required me to be close to her. After we had out tea
and pie, we found ourselves in a park, and at last I was able to have her alone to
my self with peace with no distance between us. I held her, kissed her, caressed
her and this all made my night feel perfect, made my life have so much more
purpose. The next day we watched Star Wars, and even though I fell asleep for a
couple of minutes, not because of the movie or because I was bored, I was still
feeling the jetlagg and the exhaustion of waking wide awake at 5 in the morning.
Besides the jetlagg, I realized how comfortable I could be around Jocelyne, so
much that Ii was able to fall asleep on her even though it was only our second
date. But how can I not be comfortable? She is the sweetest soul that has ever
expressed her care and likiing for me, she makes me feel like i can do anything
with out a single doubt, she makes me feel safe with her by my side, she makes
the world a lot less shitty. Later that night we went over to my house to pick up
the gifts I had gotten for her, and ith doing so she met my family, Bambi and Toby.
My dogs absolutely adored her especially Bambi and to my surprise even
grouchy Toby became fond of Jocelyne and he tossed his toy ball towards her
wanting to play. Watcing Jocelyne play with Toby made me feel proud to have
waited so long to be with her, I couldn't help but admire how happy she was
making Toby. The next morning I had the greatest blessing to have breakfast
with Jocelyne, I had never had breakfast as a date with anyone and it was one of
the best dates I ever had because the omlette I had was delicious. But that was
because she sat aross from me and gave the food so much more taste.
Unfortunetly that night, New Years Eve, I would not be able to spend it with her or
even see her, luckily the next day she did not have to wrk so we decided on
going to the beach. I picked her up and we headed to Malibu beach, we arrived
around 3 in the afternoon. To be honest, I did not think that that day in particular
was going to be such an amazing day, but as soon as we settled at the beach
and we conversated, laughed, and exchanged looks, it felt like the most perfect
place to be. Then weate the sandwiches that Jocelyne made, and my God I can
not stress enough how delicious they were even though Jocelyne kepton
insisting that they weren't the best, but to me, it was the perfect sandwich
because it came from her, and I knew she had made them with care and love
because of me. That means the world to me, it was a simple but a genuine and
loving gesture in which for the first time in my life I felt a different type of care.
We layed on the beach with out a single care in the world, just her and I. I had
my arms wrapped around her starring at each others eyes and I had never felt so
comfortable, as if I layed on a summer cloud. We'd roll around on the sheets that
we had placed on the sand, kissing and hugging as if we had never done so
before. As it got colder we kept each other warm by setting our bodies closer and
closer and even to the point where both of our hearts must have been beating at
the same pace. As the sun set, I headed to my car to retrieve a gift that I had
gotten for Jocelyne, It was a decorated mason jar that had some of my collection
of rocks that came from Spain, Mexico, and the states, it also had led lights that
made the rocks feel vibrant, and so that the light could illuminate the many notes
that I had written for Jocelyne while I was away. The notes had some poetry,
random thoughts about her, how much I wanted to see her, and even a prom
picture and an exclusive picture of when I played for the Yankees, her favorite
baseball team.
The timing couldn't have been more perfect, the sun was setting into the ocean
and it looked like the cool water melted away the blazzing sun, and leaving
behind was a rare orange, red, and pink trail of light, the view was extremely
handsome. As I handed her the gift and as I waited for her to read the note I had
attached to it, I felt such a feeling of acheivment and joy, I starred patiently at her
and at the crashing waves. She then turned and hugged me and I could sense
the appreciation through her smile and hug, what a beautiful feeling. We went
through every note together and it warmed my heart watching her unfold my
affection through the notes, her smile just widend and widend. After we went
through all the notes, night had already fallen and with it came a starry night and
a full moon, then at an instance I knew what I ad to do next. I had not thought
about doing it at all that day but how could I not? We sat through a beautiful
sunset, unfolded my loving thoughts I had for her through the gift, and now the
full moon romanticized the night to it's full potential. I stood and made her stand
as well, I held her hand with mine, and i struggled to pronounce the words that I
held in me for such a long time. After a few more minutes of beating around the
bush, I finally did it, I finally did what I had been wanting to do for the past couple
of years, years. I asked her to be my girlfriend, she said yes, and there I stood,
the luckiest guy in the world out of seven billion people. The date was 01-01-
2018.
The following week was just as amazing, and luckily I was able to spend it ith her
everyday, Tuesday she was able to stop by after her gym workout and I swear
she could be wearing anything and she'd look just as beautiful and flawless.
Wednesday I was fortunate enough to drive her to pick up her shoes froma store
in Hollyood, I felt happy doing this for her and I had so much fun too, I had nevr
experienced doing "boyfriend" stuff. After words we went back to my place and
this time things got a bit more elevated being in my bedroom, Jocelyne found
herself on top of me and the way she swayed her hips and body on top of mine
made me breathe heavy and I grabbed her waist tightly. We kissed passionatley
and afterwords I had no idea what had just happened, I had came a little without
either of us taking off our pants, my God it was still amazing. Thursday I headed
to her brothers home late at night so I could give her company while she looked
over Cami. That night we talked and remembered how her brother's place was
the last place we spent time together before the first time I parted. That night I
was extremely anxious and nervous because I had a feeling that I was going to
meet her brother once again but only this time I was to be introduced as her
boyfriend. It went well and I was even invited to come over to have dinner with
him and his girlfriend, I felt honored and I really wanted to attend but Jocelyne
and I had different plans.
Friday came and awaited for her to stop by my house so we could grab dinner at
BJs, she came and we headed out and for some odd reason I had these
butterflies that I wasn't able to shake, I felt nervous and shy to be around her
We headed to my room and already my heart was beating with a graceful speed
as we layed on my bed, the seconds became hours and I felt that life stopped for
us. I positioned my self on top of her and kissed her with so much fire, I bit on her
lower lip, making er head jerk up towards me, I kissed her neck tasting the
softness of her skin, she stared back at me feeling a comfortable tension. I felt
her hands press down on my lower back making its way upwards towards my
neck, meanwhile I used my arm to press down on the bed while my other hand
felt along her waist and stomach while I held my position on top, kissing her. The
we switched positions and then she positioned herself on top of me, she then
took off her shirt and then I did the same, she let all her weight press down
against my chest and stomach, fitting so perfectly. She kissed passionatly and I
could feel the heavy breathing coming from her mouth and never before had I
been turned on so much. I made my self back on top and she took off her bra
and I watched attentivley as she reached behind her back letting her bra drop
from her body, she layed on her back and i began kissing and bitting her lips. I
licked her neck and im sure she felt how warm my tongue felt, only to leave a wet
cold feeling on her neck. I backed away from her and then I started a trail of
kissing and licking starting fro her neck making its way to her chest then her
breasts, my tongue carresed around her nipple while my hand grabbed the other
delicately yet firm, my tongue circled closer and closer until finally making it to the
center of her breasts, I bit and kissed and my breathe must have felt as heavy as
my weight itself, then i repeated on her other breasts. My lips made their way to
her senstive stomach, my lips felt like they were drenched in honey as soon as
they touched around her belly button, I can feel the rest of her body tighten, while
the soles of her feet pressed down on the bed, then both her hands clenched on
the bedsheets with a tight grip.
Jocelyne I hope after reading this you can understand how much I truly care and
love you, I am forever thankful for everything you have done for me. It may not
seem a lot to you but it means the whole fucking world to me, It takes a lot of
faith, patience, and courage being by someone's side that is thousands of miles
away. I notice and appreciate every little act of love and kindness that you do for
me, from carresing my hand while I'm driving, to staying up to talk to me even if it
means that you'll only get a couple hours of sleep, to making sandwhiches for the
both of us. I know you said that those sandwhiches aren't as good as the warm
sandwiches that you make, but baby those were the best sandwiches I have ever
tasted, Iv'e never had someone care so much about me. I have felt alone my
whole life, I've been an outsider to my family, and I can never really connect or
even be my self with other people with out feeling misplaced or judged. I have
the upmost respect for you, I have never met anyone like you, I am astonished
on how selfless, caring, and genuine you can be towards other people, I can see
the light of God through you. You resonate love and hope, I am undoubtedly
lucky to have even have met you, you are God's gift to the world. Being with you
has helped me realize how much love I truly have for this world and other people,
I have never been so caring towards my own family.