A Timeline of My Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


by Melody Cheng

 

-growing up with grandparents

      My grandparents met my basic needs in caregiving, and therefore gained my trust as a baby. 

 

-being an asian-american baby

      I was born in America, but a few months after I was taken to China so that my grandparents could take care of me while my parents worked.

 

-not seeing my parents

      Because I grew up with my grandparents, it took me a while to develop the same trust with my parents that I had with them.

years 0-10

trust v. mistrust

-trying to be indepedent 

   When I was younger, I tried to be very independent especially when it came to learning. I would refuse to let my parents help me with my work, so, instead, I would just turn it in wrong. Doing this, I would see the corrected version and figure out what I did wrong so that I would know how to solve similar problems later on.

 

-riding a bike

    I had training wheels on my bike for 2 years or so when I didn't need them at all after the first month because I had bend the wheels upward so much that it was as though I was already riding a normal bike. 

 

-cutting my hair

     Because I was a rebellious 3 year old, I decided to cut my own hair with a pair of craft scissors. Little did I know that for the next couple of months I'd look like an idiot with a huge chunk of hair missing from my forhead. Scolding from my mom along with looking stupid made me realize that I can't trust myself with my own hair.

years 0-10 continued...

autonomy v. shame

-"stupid" questions

      Like all children, I was very curious about the world. Because of that I would tend to ask my parents whenever I had a question only for them to not respond or tell my that it was a "stupid" question. Looking back on it now, I'm kind of glad they said that because it makes me think about my words before I actually say them.

 

-going to school 

     Because I was raised in China and lived in a household where Mandarin was the dominant language, I had difficulties communicating with others, although I managed to pick up English rather quickly compared to my brother when he was in the same predicament. 

 

-making friends

      Making friends was rather difficult at first especially because of the language barrier but even though I couldn't understand a word that was coming out of my peer's mouth, I was still able to interact with her and develop a friendship. 

 

initiative v. guilt 

years 0-10 continued... 

-soccer and basketball

     Soccer and basketball have allowed me to meet people and develop friendships while partaking in an activity that I genuinely enjoy.

 

-math and sciences

     School has helped me discover my interest in the field of math and scienes, and interest that I'll pursue in my later career.

 

-switching schools

       Changing schools in the sixth grade really changed my perspective of those around me by making me really cherish close friendships because I lost  a lot of communication with the people I knew at my old school.

years 10-20

identity v. role confusion

-have a significant other

      Hopefully around my mid twenties, I'll be married or have a significant other that I would like to marry.

 

-finish college

    I'd like to finish my education whether it be in the medical or technological field in order to prepare myself in finding a career.

 

-start path in developing a family

     With my significant other and steady paying job, I'm going to try to start a family of my own.

intimacy v. isolation

years 20-30

-I'll have a family by now with a girl and a boy because I can choose the gender

 

-We'll all be living in a nice house in a suburban area that's not Salisbury

 

-When I'm pregnant, I'm going to join the pregnant women's club and do pregnant bonding exercises with everyone else. 

years 30-40

intimacy v. isolation

-I'm going to be a certified doctor who will be able to take care of her family

 

-I'll make sure to raise my children in a loving environment and I'll make it my goal to attend all of their school events. I'll be the mom screaming for her child at sports games or ceremonies.

 

-I'm going to make sure I develop friendships as well, getting involved in activities with them and developing a sense of community.

years 40-50

generativity v. stagnation

-traveling

     I'd like to travel around different parts of the world and explore them with my family. I think it would create a stronger bond between us all if we took cute little vacations together.

 

-visiting parents

     Although sad to think about, my parents will definitely be retired by now and start coming to their last years so I'm going to make sure that I visit them often. In doing so, I'll help them achieve any goals that they are still adament on reaching.

 

-retirement 

     I'm probably going to think about the future and retiring from work. During this time I'm going to make sure I am still as involved in my children's lives as I was before.

generativity v. stagnation

years 50-60

-I'll use these last few years I have as a mobile person to be involved in family events, making sure that I attend my grandchildren's graduation.

 

-I'm going to retire, finally.

 

-I'll take up some kind of community activity such as senior bingo and I'll make sure to receive all the senior citizen discounts at places.

 

integrity v. despair

years 60-70

-I'll be in a nursing home by now so I'm going to try and be friends with all my nursing home buddies.

 

-I'll probably start becoming more reliant on others to help me function normally like moving from place to place. I will most likely need assistance whether that is through a wheel chair or walker.

 

-I will probably start to ponder life and how I have made an impact on the world with mine. I might not think think that I have made a change at all when I actually have even if it was just through serving the community as a worker or raising my children.

years 70-80

integrity v. despair

-I'll definitely take my last couple of years to reflect on my life and everything I have achieved in it.

 

-I'm going to dedicate my time to being happy and positive around everyone.

 

-I expect that I will be in a nursing home by now, but I will make sure that I see my grandchildren again before I die.

years 80-90

integrity v. despair

      Melody was such a delight. Looking past her pessimism and self induced humiliation, it was prevelant that she always had the best intentions. As we stand here today commemorating her death, she wants to pass on a few words. The first being a thank you to everyone who has came into her life whether good or bad. To all the people who looked down upon her in disappointment, you should know that she didn't pay much attention to you. She wanted to apologize to all the people she was ever accidently or intentionally rude to. At the time, she wasn't thinking about the regret it would cause her down the line. Whether some of those people are here to listen to this truly does mean a lot to her. Right now whether heaven or hell does exist, she'll be smiling down or up at all of those she knew. Oh and she wants to give a special thanks to all my friends who let me use their homework as references.

obituary