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US: $4.99
OUT OF NY/NJ: $5.99
CANADA: $6.50
DIY PARTY PLACECARDS /// NEW TRAVEL COLUMN! /// THE POWER OF SUPPORT THROUGH MENTAL ILLNESS
DECEMBER
2016
THE ULTIMATE
GIFT GUIDE!
50+ GIFTS IDEAS FOR
EVERY BUDGET
LIGHT UP YOUR PALETTE!
MOUTHWATERING RECIPES
FOR CHANUKA
A Jewish Liestyle
in the Know
WHAT’S THE BUZZ?
GET THE LOWDOWN ON ZIKA
HI-LOW LIST:
DESIGNER-LIKE HOME
DECOR AND FASHION
ITEMS FOR LESS!
Published by FYI Magazine. All rights re-
served. Reproduction in whole or in part in
any form without prior written permission
from the publisher is prohibited. The pub-
lisher reserves the right to edit all articles
for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities.
FYI Magazine assumes no responsibility for
the content of articles or advertisements in
the publication, nor for the content of books
that are referred to or excerpted herein.
PRINTED IN CANADA
EDITOR
Yitty Denciger
ART & MARKETING
Tzivia Cohen
Miriam Reifman
14minds.com
COPY EDITOR
Lieba Bard-Wigdor
COVER PHOTO
Shevy Gross
@shevygphotography
PHOTOGRAPHY:
Chani Friedman
chanifriedmanphotography.com
MANAGING EDITOR
Darlene Fedele
Blimie Heller
ADVERTISING
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PHONE:
718.412.2442
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AD DEADLINES
January Issue: January 5
FUNCTIONAL
BEAUTIFUL
732.367.7515
205 CEDAR BRIDGE AVE | LAKEWOOD, NJ
SALES@ICONPLUMBING.COM
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CONTENTS
DECEMBER 2016
6
|
We Hear You
8
|
Our Finds
10
|
Your Voice
#JoinTheDiscussion
What is the biggest miracle
you have experienced?
95
|
What's in my...?
Gift Boutique with
Breezy Schwartz
Beauty Guide
13 | DECOR ON POINT
Take your pick of pieces
at any price
16 | FASHION FINDS
Couture and Modest
Fashion for all
20 | DO IT YOURSELF
Make a name with your
creative touch.
Fall In Love With Lie
21 | REAL LIFE
One chassidish Woman’s
voice in Kiruv
24 | BUILDING BETTER BODIES
The pressure is on!
26 | NEXT LEVEL
Delicious, cheesy fun, for
all at your party.
30 | SPREADING THE BUZZ
Get tan, not Zika!
Get A Handle On It
33 | MIRACLE OIL
Healing through dabs of aroma
40 | 5 THINGS THAT
(Surprisingly) Contain Oil
45 | THIS SEASON’S GIFTS
Our gift guide for everyone
at every price!
Featured
54 | WINTER SKINCARE
ESSENTIALS
Keep your soft skin year round.
60 | MIRACLES OF KEEPING
TOGETHER
The power of a community is
stronger than you might think.
66 | FINDING LIGHT
Dealing with Mental
Illness head on.
Sharpen Your Appetite
73 | LIGHT UP YOUR PALLETE!
With these miracle bites for
Chanukah!
74 | Cheese Rangoon
76 | Deep Fried Oreos
78 | Cinnamon and Vanilla Bean
Crullers with Honey Icing
80 | Red velvet Chanuka Gelt Cookies
82 | ALL THINGS KITCHEN
You Gotta Know
85 | ASK THE ORGANIZER
The case of too many gifts.
87 | YOURS TO DISCOVER
Jerusalem, Israel
93 | MAGIC HELPERS
Ingenious products that
make your day easier.
94 | ON OUR BOOKSHELF
Get your house clean now
18
16
40
33
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134 Washington Ave.
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ORDER ONLINE @ THECLOSEOUTCONNECTION.COM
In-store pickup available for your convenience
AVAILABLE IN 4 STYLES AND 8 SIZES:
66” X 72” • 66” X 90”
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affeta ollection
The
Wow, the rolling rabbi story
was so emotional. I am truly
inspired by Rebbetzin Sima
and her family. Thank you so
much for sharing their story.
Yehudis Seltzer
I have to say that the “Your
Voice” column is pretty
negative. I don’t want to read
about other people’s terrible
youths or bad marriage.
Looking forward to reading
enjoyable discussions.
Anonymous
I made the chocolate Espres-
so Mug Cake one night when I
was craving something
delicious. I am so surprised at
how amazing, yet quick and
easy, it actually is to make.
Please share more easy
recipes like this one.
Miriam Kohn
US: $4.99
OUT OF NY/NJ: $5.99
CANADA: $6.50
SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE /// ULTIMATE TIPPING GUIDE /// WHAT’S YOUR FITNESS AGE?
NOVEMBER
2016
WHY ADULT COLORING BOOKS
ARE THE LATEST TREND
BREAKING BARRIERS IN
PRENATAL & POSTPARTUM
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION
RUSTIC
CANDLE
HOLDERS
diy
A Jewish Lifestyle
in the Know
CAKE CHEATS: EASY
COMFORT FOOD RECIPES
HAND PICKED
ACCESSORIES
FOR YOUR
HOME & CLOSET
THIS SEASON
The article on happy marriage was exactly what I needed to read.
The redundancy of real life takes over and we fall into an unhappy
rhythm. I loved that the author, Sara Freed, pointed out exactly
how to change this- and it’s so simple! I only wish I had read this
two years ago. Since reading the article I took on some practices
and my marriage is completely different. Thank you!
S.F.
75 |
fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE
74 |
fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE
IN A LARGE mi crowave-safe mug,
whisk all the dr y ingredients.
ADD all wet ingredien ts except for
milk and whisk we ll till all ingredients
are evenly dist ributed.
DROP in chocolate chip s.
SPRINKLE milk.
COOK in microwave for o ne minute
and a half; add s ome time if cake has
not risen to the to p. It should be
slightly wet, b ut not totally raw.
DON’T overbake. Let coo l.
SERVE with whipped cre am.
Chocolate
Espresso Mug Cake
At 11 p.m., I often t hink about what I can eat that is
sweet, comfort ing and available at that crazy hour. I
want something b etween a chocolate bar and an ice
cream sundae and I wan t it NOW! Does less than two
minutes fit the b ill? Oh, yeah! Now if only I could make
this and not be af fected by the espresso in the recip e.
4 tablespoo ns
flour
4 tablespoo ns
sugar
2 tablespoo ns
cocoa
1 teaspoon
espresso
powder or
instant cof fee
½ teaspoon
baking powder
3 tablespoo ns
oil
Pinch salt
One egg, room
temperature
½ teaspoon
vanilla
1 tablespoo n
milk or water
1 teaspoon
chocolate chips
Whipped cream
30 |
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31 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
THE
RABBI
Blow after surprising blow,
left the close knit Simes
family of Ottawa, changed
forever. Yet, Rabbi Yehuda
and Rebbetzin Shaindel
take each and every day as
a blessing and are grateful
for every small achieve-
ment in their journey.
As told to M. Tsibushkin
STA R T
RESULTS
How long can you hold
the standard plank?
0-30 seconds +1
31-60 secon ds +2
61+ seconds +3
If your score is betwe en 7-13:
Oh hey, Granny! You have work to do
and you need to get motivated . Your
fitness age is anc ient and your body is on a
fast track to the c ommon complaints that
trouble many unfit p eople. There is
good news...you still can impr ove!
High Intensity Inter val Training is a
very effect ive and fast method for getting
your fitness age you ng again.
If your score is betwe en 14-18:
You're getting up there... Though you are
on the right trac k, you may want to think
hard and fast about steppi ng it up. Think
about it this way, barely a step in e ither
direction ca n take you either over to
Grannysvi lle, or put that magic spring in
your step where you feel gre at.
Why live in the m iddle?
If your score is betwe en 19-27:
Hello, roaring cub. You ROCK! You are well
on your way to living a s youthful
a life as possible. No m atter how much
fire-topped ca kes may mock you, at least
your fitness age w ill stay young and
strong! Keep an eye on your numb ers
and keep them above 18, a nd you are in
for some romping good times!
In short, if your ca rdiorespiratory
sessions are any where from 3-5 times
per week, your resis tance training is at
least 2-3 times per week, you st retch and
work on your flex ibility 5-7 times per week,
and watch your diet at least 70% of the t ime,
then you are probably in awes ome and
healthy shape.
On the other hand, if you a re not happy
with your level of f itness or with the results
you are getting , remember that just
thinking w ith the right attitude and pl ain
old EXERCISE, you ca n alter your fitness age.
Rebecca Blue is a certied personal trainer and the
co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo
tness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com
1
Total the
numbers
of all your
answers
How many days a week do
you workout?
0-1 +1
2-3 +2
4-7 +3
2
A great workout mean s:
Giving up once you feel it’s
getting tough +1
Having fun +2
Feeling sweaty
and sore +3
9
How many pushups c an
you do in one minute?
0-5 +1
6-15 +2
16+ +3
3
One thing you mus t have
in order to exercis e is:
Friends +1
Music +2
A Plan +3
8
How long does it take yo u
to run one mile?
Over 12 minutes +1
9-12 minutes +2
Less than 9 +3
4
A friend wants yo u to join
them at the gym th is after-
noon. You alread y went this
morning, You.. .
Dread it, UG H!!! And say no. +1
You think about how you alre ady
exercised toda y and struggle to
decide if you shoul d go again. +2
Say SURE!!! Wo uld love to. +3
7
How long can you hold
a wall squat?
0-30 seconds +1
31-59 seconds +2
1+ minutes +3
5
Sit on the floo r, legs straight in
front of you, and r each between
your legs toward s your toes.
How far can you rea ch?
Past your kne es +1
Fingert ips touch your toes +2
Grabbing yo ur toes +3
6
real
life
we you!
Ignite your Taste Buds
WWW.NATURALANDKOSHER.COM
our
WHAT TO BUY
WHERE TO BUY
WHO TO FOLLOW
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Helping you discover products and
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Food blogger, photographer, recipe
developer, snacker & comort ood-aholic!
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No Battery Change Required
Q: WHAT IS THE
BIGGEST MIRACLE
YOU HAVE
EXPERIENCED?
“We had a house fire almost 4 years
ago. B”H no one got hurt. Many
things were burned, in EVERY
room! The kitchen ceiling fell
down. The amazing thing was that
whatever we used for hachnosas
orchim was spared (like table,
chairs, beds) and so were the
sefarim! Not one sefer burned b”h,
even though it was right next to
the source of the fire. They only got
smoke damage and the the gold
print came off many of them, but
they are completely intact and
we’re still using them! However,
whatever was around the sefarim
(further away from the fire) was
completely consumed! Hodu
La'Hashem for our lives and all the
brachos He showers upon us!””
~Adina Forouzan
your
#JoinTheDiscussion
What is your funniest vacation memory?
Question for next month:
Text your answer to (516)331.1885
“I had a huge growth in my hip joint that was preliminarily
diagnosed as osteosarcoma by the top doctor at Sloan Kettering. We
did a surgical biopsy to see how advanced the stage was. I had to
wait through the duration of Aseres Yemei Teshuvah to find out the
results. I thought I would need to get my entire leg amputated (as a
best case scenario). When I went back, the doctor said he had never
seen anything like it before. He had no idea what it was, but it was
not cancer. B"H, after a year of bed rest and another surgery, I am
just fine. It was 1000% the power of Yom Kippur tefillah by the
hundreds of people who were davening for me.” ~Rikki Spivak
“Watching my daughter
survive and thrive after having
two open heart surgeries as a
baby! ~Fay Simcha
“Waking up rom surgery ater
donating a kidney and inding out
that the kidney worked instantly on
the recipient, is the most amazing
miracle. ~Zelda Brodowicz
90% of women responded that
having their child/ren is the biggest
miracle they have experienced.
“My husband being 37 months
post diagnosis of terminal brain
cancer. He beat the odds. We
even had a child together since
diagnosis.”
~Yael Trinz
“Being able to escape
from a violent
relationship, get
custody of my kids
back, and then go on
to get my degree in
social work to help
others. Looking back,
I shouldn't have
survived. Not for a
second.” ~Abby Berg
“My daughter, who normally NEVER
pitched a it at drop o, made a complete
scene at her daycare and made me miss
my train to work. I was on my way to my
oice on the 100th Floor o the WTC. It
was 9/11/01. ~Anonymous
“Mine would have to be when my daughter stopped breathing at 3 days
old. I was home, getting her dressed when she just stopped breathing. I
have never been more terriied in my lie. She was rushed to the hospital
and spent two weeks in the hospital NICU. I was told how ortunate I
was, because had she been sleeping in her crib, she most likely would
not have survived. She is now a 6 year old, happy child!” ~ Yaffa Geller
“My son drowned in a pool at camp when he was 6 years old. He
was pulled out, blue, with no heartbeat. A lifeguard did CPR for
twelve minutes until an ambulance came, but he was still without
a pulse. By the time I got to the hospital, they had gotten a low
pulse back and had him on a respirator. He was in a coma. They
recommended I give them permission to take him off the
machines because he'd be brain dead with heart damage. Our
Rav said to wait and daven. He woke that same day and asked
what had happened. He was sent to Mayo Clinic and tested
thoroughly. They concluded that he had no brain or heart damage
at all B”H! It's been 11 years since then and he's healthy and such
a tzaddik. Not a day goes by that I don't realize how good
Hakadosh Baruch Hu is.”~ Anonymous
After having been almost shaken to
death, my son was diagnosed with
hydrocephalus, and surgery of the brain
was imminent. I went home and prayed,
fasted and prayed. I asked for a true
miracle as my baby had already gone
through open heart surgery. After much
begging, the surgeon agreed to do a
repeat test right before the surgery, but
not before laughing at me for being so
ignorant for believing in miracles. With
almost tears in his eyes he said "Lady, I
don't know what you did, but there is not
even a trace of anything in your child's
brain. I can't explain it, but it seems like
you got a miracle. I've never seen this in
my 20 years as a surgeon." ~ Elana Simon
“I had a car accident on the highway while driving in the fast lane at
7 am with full on traffic. I hit the median and was thrown across three
lanes into a ditch. How am I alive? This made me believe in Hashem. I
called my Rabbi once out of the hospital, with no broken bones - just a
cut and pain.~ Camilla Nava Soberano
12 |
fyimagazineny.com
editor’s note
might think. It'll add a new
dimension to your
gathering and will
definitely be a favorite
among adults and children
alike. Oh, and did I mention
delicious?
Now I know we don’t
necessarily want to talk
about it, but lets state the
obvious. It’s full blown
winter now. And with
winter weather comes dry
skin. All I can say is, it’s not
pretty or comfortable. I’ve
been through so many
moisturizers in the past,
looking for that one magical
potion to make my skin soft
and dewy. None really
solved the problem
completely. What I've
discovered from the article
on winter skincare
essentials, is that there
isn't one solution but rather
many factors that
contribute to moist and
supple skin. I now have the
recipe to success and this
year, with the help of all
those tips, I will combat the
dryness successfully!
Wishing you all a joyous
and de’light’ful Chanukah!
C
hanukah has to be my
favorite Jewish
holiday. From the
delicious fried donuts and
latkes, to the parties and
presents, it's literally all fun
and games. The one part I
find difficult is choosing
Chanukah gifts for my loved
ones. I’m sure you’re
familiar with this scenario:
After hours of searching for
just the right gift, at just the
right price, you come up
with nothing. Zilch. Zero.
Nothing. We know how
frustrating it can be. That is
why, we’ve got you (and me!)
covered this year. We did all
the work for you. Don’t
worry, you can thank us
later. With our “Ultimate
Chanukah Gift Guide for
Every Budget, you can
easily find a gift for every
family member, friend and
co-worker, that they will
love and appreciate. And, at
a price you’ll love too!
Speaking of family and
food, your family will love
the new delicious recipes
our talented recipe
developers created just for
Chanukah. Mouthwatering
does not describe it
adequately. Go on and take a
look. Let me tell you
something else: Making your
own Cheesecake Toppings
Bar is a lot easier than you
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM
AND FACEBOOK! @FYIMAGAZINE
Yiy suggests:
“The home
cleaning method
anyone can
master”
page 94
A new and
welcome spin
on the classic
donut.
page 78
“Wait until you see the
price of this knock o.
page 14
“Exquisite to
the eyes, yet
simple to make.
page 21
editor@fyimagazineny.com
H i-Low Life!
DECOR
Hi - Low
THE BEAUTY GUIDE
Fashion | Decorating | DIY
H i-Low Life!
SOPHIA SECTIONAL
roveconcepts.com
Smooth and sleek, will
take any living room to
the next level.
u
SVEN SECTIONAL
article.com
The adorable arm
pillows are great to
snuggle with anytime!
$1,6
$2,1
WRITTEN BY MICKY KLEIN
DECOR
We got such a great
response rom the
Hi-Low List in our July
issue we knew we had
to do it again. Check
out our inely curated
selection o designer
items and their (much)
less expensive look-
alikes. It's a great time
to save some "gelt"!
u
Hi - Low
14 |
fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE
u
PUZZLE LAMP
harrods.com
Talk about Tetris 2.0.
A real conversation
starter!
u
FLORA VASE-LARGE
bloomingdales.com
Asymmetrical is the
new straight!
u
BROOKLYN COFFEE
TABLE - STAINLESS STEEL
amara.com
The double panels and
clear glass top allow for
multiple objects and
nick-nacks for display
below your coffee cups!
u
STAINLESS
STEEL VASE
allmodern.com
Then again, straight
lines are classic!
u
MIRAGE RUSSELL
GLASS TOP
COCKTAIL TABLE
homeclick.com
Long and sleek does
it. Great with one of
the sectionals!
u
KYSON STANDING
MIRROR
bellacor.com
The steel looking
frame gives this
one character.
u
COSMO
FLOOR MIRROR
overstock.com
This one is more
unique with a
nail head trim.
$1,6
$6
$1,1
$5
$1
$7
$2
$1,6
u
BELLE TABLE LAMP
overstocks.com
This delicate and
subtle version is
perfect for an
already busy room.
15 |
fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE
Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and
commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to
brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips.
u
FRETTE LUXURY INTER-
NATIONAL BEDSPREAD
frontgate.com
It looks like sleeping in
heaven with the detailing
in the fabric and the
shimmer in the seams.
u
SAINT-LOUIS CRYSTAL EXCESS
CRYSTAL AMERICAN WATER GOBLET
michaelcfina.com
The crystal handle, colorful elongated
glass make these extravagant!
u
OVAL CLEAR CRYSTAL
DOOR KNOB
wayfair.com
Short and sweet.
u
WASHED COTTON
LUSTER VELVET
DUVET COVER
zgallerie.com
The soft and cuddly velvet
makes us say, yes!
u
OVAL CLEAR
CRYSTAL KNOB
doorknobsonline.com
With its longer base, it’s
more of a statement piece
(think door accessory).
u
CROCO D’ARGENT FRAME
neimanmarcus.com
The art lover will appreciate
this broken glass look. It's
shiny, too!
u
CLASSIC MONOGRAM
MOSCOW MULE MUG
homewetbar.com
An accent piece that
doubles as a mug.
$3,3
$6
$1
u
WILLIAM YEWOARD
FANNY GOBLETS
gumps.com
These fun glasses
have the same effect
for a much lower price
$1
EACH
$1
$6
u
DOVE FAUX LEATHER
FRAME
amara.com
Gorgeous and soft to handle.
No chance it could slip out of
your hands!
u
MOSCOW MULE MUG
bulkapothecary.com
You will want one
at this price!
$3
$4
$3
EACH
$9
EACH
16 |
fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE
Hi - Low FASHION
Lie is ull o Highs and Lows, and the ashion world is no exception. But no
need to weep. We are reerring to prices, not emotions. Whether you are
looking or the perect outit to host your Chanukah party in, or you’re looking
or a gi or the holidays, or you just have an urge to splurge, we have trendy
and comortable items that will give you more smiles or less!
$1
$1
$7
$7
FASHION EDITOR: ESTEE STERN
u
OPERA LONG LEATHER
GLOVES
henribendel.com
The gold studs outlining
the outer sides takes this
glove to the next level!
u
T BY ALEXANDER WANG
marissacollections.com
It's not too long or loose,
which will add length to
the arms and torso!
u
GALA FUR GLOVES
bergdorfgoodman.com
Lucky for us, B.G. has
these in an adorable
size you."
u
LEATHER & WOOL-
BLEND LONG GLOVES
lastcall.com
Besides the low-low
price, these are two
toned, with dual fabrics.
u
CONTRAST TRIM
SWEATER
mango.com
For the girl who likes
long, loose, and cozy.
u
LEATHER GLOVES
WITH REAL FUR TRIM
c21stores.com
These fluffy numbers
are unique and quirky,
and not too fussy either.
$3
$4
u
BELSTAFF LEATHER
MIDI SKIRT
theoutnet.com
For a more mature and
sophisticated look, we
suggest this skirt.
u
FAUX-LEATHER
PLEATED MIDI SKIRT
jcrew.com
Fool everyone into
thinking it's real leather
and double the low price!
$6
$1
17 |
fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE
$1,5
$1,7
$1
$7
$3
$6
$5
$3
$1
$1
u
METEO BY YVES
SALOMON FUR JACKET
farfetch.com
This jacket is certainly
one-of-a-kind. It would
fair well for a night out or
a fancy party.
u
MONCLER PADDED
JACKET
farfetch.com
This warm jacket will keep
the chill from your bones,
plus the fur around the
hood will keep the snow
drifts from your eyes!
u
FRENCH CONNECTION
PATCHWORK SWEATER
johnlewis.com
These zig-zag color blocking
shapes take the focus away
from common trouble areas
and add length to the body for
a slimming effect.
u
STUART WEITZMAN
THIGH BOOTS
selfridges.com
With a wider top and
a sturdier look, these
are perfect if you are
looking for a classier
sporty style boot.
u
ELIZABETH & JAMES
CROSSBODY
neimanmarcus.com
This furry crossbody bag
won’t shed on you or lose
its luster, since it’s real fur!
u
YVES SALOMON
FUR JACKET
mytheresa.com
This chic piece is
great for day
or night.
u
PUFFER JACKET
WITH FUR TRIM
saksfifthavenue.com
It's water proof, easy to
clean, and super light!
The cute little pocket at
the front is great for your
phone, ipod, or mints!
u
MULTI COLOR
KNITTED SWEATER
yoins.com
Different from the normal
color blocking sweater, plus
the tri-color effect makes it
easier to mix and match!
u
CHARLES OVER-
THE-KNEE BOOTS
macys.com
The snugger fit
and dainty tie are what
makes these boots more
feminine and fancy.
u
FAUX FUR CROSSBODY
rainbowshops.com
A fur-in-training bag that
gives that funky flair
without the large price tag.
18 |
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THE BEAUTY GUIDE
Estee Stern is a freelance fashion stylist and image consultant specializing in look book dressing, campaign, fashion editorial and personal
shopping services. She has a are for detail and possesses the ability to mix accessories, labels, looks and trends to astounding effect. Estee has
received recognition within the industry with her clients obtaining best dressed accolades in online fashion media. @styledbyestee
$2
$1
u
HOUSE OF LAFAYETTE CAP
saksfifthavenue.com
A little more sophisticated than
a regular baseball cap, but so is
the woman who sports it.
u
FAUX LEATHER POM POM HAT
amazon.com
You would never guess this hat
is a faux! It's fun top pom-pom
is great for school or the
street! #goteamgo
$6
$2
$9
$1
u
GIANVITO ROSSI
ANKLE BOOT
bergdorfgoodman.com
Shiny shoes are always
fun. The front buckles
are a great starting
point to match with a
purse or jewelry.
u
MARNI DRESS
lyst.com
A black dress
is the staple
of every good
wardrobe.
u
BLACK
CARDIGAN
tessabit.com
This high
quality, lengthy
sweater is best
for the tall girl.
u
ZARA FLAT LEATHER
ANKLE BOOTS
zara.com
Getting your feet wet
into the style is best,
rather than going too
Woodstock, too fast!
u
RIBBED AND
RUCHED DRESS
cosstores.com
The drop waist
will also give
you a youthful
and fun look.
u
LONG JACKET
WITH POCKETS
zara.com
We can never do
with too many
pockets. This is
going to be one of
the most worn and
useful pieces in
your winter closet.
$1,1
$3
$9
$7
u
GUCCI FUR-LINED
LEATHER SLIPPERS
mytheresa.com
No longer do you have
to worry about serving
guests in your stilettos
or silly toe-socks.
u
LINED LEATHER
MULES
zara.com
The gold detailing
across the top
take these to the
next level.
19 |
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THE BEAUTY GUIDE
just for you
7 DE RONDE ROAD, MONSEY, OFF BREWER | 201.749.1742
Plus size fashion size med.-5x
SUNDAY 11:30-6:30 MON, WED, THURS: 1:00 - 6:30 TUE: NIGHTS ONLY 8:30-10:30
teitelcreative.com
Be
Warm,
Be
chic,
Be
Beautifull
20 |
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THE BEAUTY GUIDE
Get your creative side
lowing with these un
and colorul place cards.
Guests o all ages will be
super impressed with your
decorating skills and they’ll
appreciate the delicious
cookie, too.
Your avorite sugar
cookies - baked
using the cookie
cutter shape that
you would like.
Gel ood coloring
Royal icing
(recipe below)
Piping bags
Piping tips
What you’ll need:
#1. COOKIE
PLACE CARDS
1. Bake and cool cookies
completely.
2. To make the royal icing:
4 cups powdered
sugar
2.5 tablespoons
meringue powder
6 tablespoons water
Combine all and mix
on low speed until the
sheen has disap-
peared and the icing
has a matte appear-
ance (about 7-10
minutes).
3. Separate the icing into
bowls so that you can
create all o the colors
that you'd like to use.
Don't orget to keep
some plain white i you
plan on using white.
4. Add a ew drops o gel
ood coloring to each
bowl to create your
colors. Keep the other
bowls o icing covered
so that the icing does
not start to crust.
5. The icing is too thick
to use at this point.
You will want to add
some water to each
bowl and mix it by hand
until you've reached a
consistency that you
are happy with. A little
bit o water goes a long
way, so be very careul
to add tiny amounts at
a time. The icing should
be thin enough that it's
runny and can low to-
gether, but thick enough
that it will not run o o
your cookie.
6. A good trick is to use
the 19 second rule. Slice
a knie through the icing
and count how many
seconds it takes to low
back together. It should
take exactly 19 seconds
or the mark you made
to completely disappear.
7. I you ind it too thin,
you can add some pow-
dered sugar to thicken it
back up.
8. Transer the icing into
decorating bags (or
plastic bags, in a pinch).
Use a small round circle
tip. (Used here are Wil-
ton tip #2 and #3.)
9. Start by piping an out-
di
Take your Chanukah party to the next level with DIY place cards.
Not only will your table have that extra bit of pizazz, you’ll also
solve the ever so awkward seating problem.
line around the entire
edge o the cookie.
Leave a bit o space by
the edges so the icing
does not run o the
cookie.
10. Wait about 10 seconds
and then start to ill the
center. You can use a
toothpick to spread it
around and get it into
the corners. Gently
shake the cookie back
and orth along the
table top. This will help
the icing settle into one
smooth layer.
11. Let dry completely- at
least a ew hours.
12. Once dry, it's time to
add the design. Pipe
another outline around
the edge o the cookie,
directly on top o the
dried icing. You can
either use the same
color or a dierent one.
Pipe the names o your
guests in the center and
add a design around it.
Here we chose simple
dots- easy, clean, and
elegant!
Aliza Leifer is the founder of Sprinkles where she teaches her popular fondant decorating
classes in the Five Towns and Far Rockaway. She also runs amazing fondant decorating
programs for parties, Bas mitzvahs, and other events locally and in surrounding areas such
as Brooklyn. 516-592-7186 or sprinklesclasses@gmail.com
21 |
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THE BEAUTY GUIDE
#2 BUTTERFLY
RIBBON PLACE CARDS
3” wired satin
ribbon
• ⅝” ribbon
• Glue gun
• Glue stick
• Ivory cardstock
• Ruler/Measuring
tape
What you’ll need:
1. Cut 11 inch pieces o the
wired ribbon- you’ll need
two per place card.
2. Mark the center o each
ribbon, 5 ½ inches rom
either side.
3. Using a hot glue gun,
make a line o glue down
the middle. Fold one side
over to the center and
glue in place. Then old
the other side over and
glue on top o the irst
side.
4. Glue two prepared
ribbons together, only in
the center.
5. Use the ⅝” ribbon to
wrap around the center.
Secure in place with glue.
6. Make a small bow, with
the same ribbon and
glue onto the center.
7. Print your guests’ names
on the cardstock. Cut to
desired size and place
in between the butterly
ribbon.
Simple and elegant does it. These are easy
to make, yet they make a big, ancy
impression. Plus, they’re so decorative, you
don’t need much else on the table.
Photgraphy by
Chani Friedman
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THE BEAUTY GUIDE
This is perect or your nicer, all-adult gathering. It is a little
more time consuming to create, but your guests will go
home with something special, just or them.
1. Start by printing your guests
names on plain white paper.
Note: the simpler the ont,
the better. Every name
should be on a dierent
line. Cut each name out in a
square shape.
2. Place contact paper upside
down. Then one by one, tape
the cut out names upside
down on the contact paper.
3. Using the exacto knie, cut
the letters out.
4. Peel the contact paper o
and place on the candle in
the desired area.
5. Press down on the contact
paper to make sure it is
adhered properly. Take out
any bubbles. (You may want
to take a spoon and rub it
over the contact paper a ew
times.)
6. Spray paint the candles in
your desired color, outside.
Recoat.
7. When dry (approx. 15 min-
utes), peel othe contact
paper.
8. To ix small leaks/mistakes,
use the exacto knie to scrape
and correct. Use nail polish
remover and a Qtip to remove
any large area with spray
paint.
• Votive Candles
• Spray Paint
• Exacto Knie
• Contact Paper
• Paper
Tape
What you’ll need:
#3. PERSONALIZED VOTIVE CANDLES
LOVE YOUR LIFE
Fitness | Health | Party Decor
THE BOND
BEYOND OUR
REACH.
“Hi, my name is Sara Rivka. I’m
Chasidic.I met my husband three
times when I was eighteen beore
getting engaged, then didn’t see
him until the wedding day a year
later. We have been married or
three years and we have two kids.
I’m open or any questions.
WRITTEN BY DEBBIE HIRSCH
real
life
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LOVE YOUR LIFE
A
t our impromptu meal, Sara
Rivka, a youthful, outgoing
Chassidic woman told me
how she loves speaking with the
women in Birthright who have
requested to meet someone
religious. It was gratifying to meet
her. She gave these secular
searching women a new perspective
on being Jewish with her charm and
openness (something Chassidim are
typically not known for).
After her introduction, the secular
young women eagerly took her up on
her offer and bombarded her with
questions.
“Was it hard not to see your
fiancé?”
“Weren’t you worried whether he
was the right one?”
“Didn’t you want to go to college?”
“Don’t you feel like you have no
choices in your life?”
“Is that a wig and a hat? Why do
you wear so much clothing?”
“Did you love your husband on
your wedding day?”
“How could you think you knew
him enough in that short time? How
did you agree to marry him?
“Do you let your parents make all
of your decisions?”
Then, there were also those
totally out-of-the-box questions, like
“Do you believe in mermaids?”
Sara Rivka explained,
“Sometimes, when I am walking
with my husband, we pass secular
kids and even adults who stare at
me. I know they are probably
thinking, “What a dark and difficult
world she must live in. She is
covered from head to toe in the
heat, married with children at such
a young age. Life must be miserable
for her.” And I want to tell them
“Dark? Miserable? Hardly! We have a
life! We are building a marriage and
a new generation. Our lives are so
full and rewarding!” Sara Rivka
explained further, “So, sometimes,
that is just what I do. I go up to them
and start a conversation. Why not?
What do I have to lose.
The students from the Birthright
program who were probably older
than her in age, but likely less
experienced in certain aspects of
life and relationships, were
captivated by her. A new world was
being offered to them. One of the
women there came from a broken,
intermarried home. Another one’s
mother had recently died, along
with the last vestige of Judaism in
the young girl's life- no matter how
watered-down it was. Yet another
student was planning to move in
with her Christian boyfriend, but
wanted her children to be raised as
Jews. They were the ones who had
requested a religious encounter.
Considering how minimal Jewish
knowledge is amongst secular Jews
these days, I was very excited by
Sara Rivka and the other young
women who volunteered as tutors
for these women.
A few months later, speaking to
Sara Rivka and her husband Moshe
on a follow-up phone call, she
explained, “I’m neither Chabad nor
part of their outreach programs, but
I do feel that we as Chassidish Jews
have so much to offer.
“But don't you think they look at
you, not only as part of a black-
tinted world (from the color of the
clothes to the many imposed rules)
but also as a closed and
unapproachable community?” I
asked both of the Geldzahler’s.
Moshe Geldzahler answered, “Yes,
I know secular people think we are
guarded, and truthfully, they are not
entirely wrong. In some ways, we
are closed. We make it a priority to
be connected to our kehillah, the
community, since it is an important
aspect of being Chassidish.
Chassidim have many customs that
ensure that the community, the
kehillah stays impermeable but
inter-connected to each other. From
the special clothing - the hats,
pants, bekesha, shtreimels - to the
length of their peyos, they all serve
to make our community feel
closely-united, that we are all a part
of each other, because we need each
other to serve Hashem better.
Men participate in tishes, visit the
Rebbe, and go to the mikva together
"
"
I volunteered for Aish HaTorah’s tutoring sessions with a
Birthright program this past summer. It allocated three
hours over a two week period to the women and men (in
separate programs), giving them a chance to meet with real,
live ultra-orthodox people. As I was leaving the known kiruv
Yeshiva’s beautiful, new building overlooking the kotel, I met
a Chassidish woman who had also been tutoring there. She
was a young mother who had taken a few days off to get
involved in this unique opportunity to engage with
American, secular Jews. Sara Rivka Geldzahler, a transplant
from Williamsburg who seemed to be the spokeswoman for
Chassidim and religious Jews in general, invited me out for a
coffee with some of her students.
25 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
to ensure there is a strong bond that
makes everyone feel part of the
group, which in turn, builds their
connection and strengthens their
attachment to Hashem and to
mitzvot. And yet, because of this
goal to be connected to each other,
the flip side is excluding those who
are not part of that particular
Chassidish group, especially secular
Jews.
That being said, it is not like
Chassidim have nothing to do with
anyone else. The Satmar Chassidim,
who are extremely closed and have
their own city and unique rules and
approach, are known for their
unbelievable chesed and tzedakah.
Other groups are also involved in
helping others, yet it is the Satmar
sect who are the leaders in
tremendous Bikur Cholim programs
that bring kosher food to hospitals
for the sick and visitors alike,
providing transportation, organize
housing arrangements, as well as
provide meals for Shabbos in-house
hospitality.
The Satmar Chassidim have also
set up programs for Russian
immigrants, helping them get
established. They also provide
monetary aid for orphans until they
get married. When it comes to
tending to those in need and giving
tzedakah, Chassidim are not closed,
not by any means!”
Moshe described how he himself
had personal experience with the
Satmar Rebbe. He was an orphan
since he was barely ten. He
remembers how the Satmar Rebbe
came to comfort him, his mother,
and siblings. The Rebbe personally
stayed involved with Moshe’s
family for many years.
Sara Rivka continues: “Yet, when
parents in our community want to
explain to their children the
difference in religious observance
amongst Jews, it is difficult since
children tend to understand
concepts in black and white. Many
times, religious children cannot
distinguish between secular Jews
and non-Jews since there aren’t any
major differences they can see. The
main thing they see is that the
secular Jews are different from
them.
So yes, Chassidim are closed and
encourage their exclusiveness, but
that doesn’t mean we don’t want to
share. Our lives are so enriched,
building a future, ensuring strong
marriages and attachment to
Yiddishkeit.
You know what ‘frum’ means,
right?” she interjects. “The fanatical
religious are on the right, you are in
the middle, and then everyone else
is too Modern. That is how each
person views themselves, but really
all Jews are on a circle. We each are
coming from our own paths and
have an equal path to forge.
Everyone has their own struggles
and a course to travel to make their
own connection to Hashem.
Chassidus is one way to make the
journey smoother.
Moshe Geldzahler, whose pride
for his wife’s kiruv activities is
apparent from his words, is a poet
and a writer who comes from a
prominent, illustrious family.
Moshe’s family has always been
involved with kiruv, whether from
afar or close, and it is a big part of
his and Sara Rivka’s world.
In reality, we all are on the same
circle. We all need to make the
journey towards the center. It is a
beautiful thing to watch her move
beyond her ‘me-ism’ as she steps
out of her sheltered Chassidish
lifestyle to make an impact.
We should all be involved to help
educate the uninformed, to help
them find their way to the center.
We should not use our comfort-
zones, embarrassment, lack of time,
or any other excuse not to get
involved. The interested secular
students will in turn help us grow
towards our goals as well.
fyi
Unfortunately, as the Pew
reports have substantiated,
young Jews don’t care
about their Judaism. Those
under 35 are not just
apathetic toward Israel, but
due to the college scene
with BDS and other similar
groups against Israel, many
young Jews are anti-Israel.
In the Pew report, more
young Jews would not care
about the destruction of
Israel. One wonders if they
would have even been
bothered by the Holocaust
if it had happened in their
time. Only 54% profess to
be comfortable with the
idea of a Jewish state at all.
Israel is looked upon as the
embarrassing cousins no
one wants to acknowledge.
The historic link between
American Jewry and Israel
might be coming to an end.
Perhaps with the new
president, that impetus
might cease with the end
of the Obama administra-
tion, and a new president
elect, Trump, who is fond of
Israel.
The Pew report also
pointed out (which it has
consistently shown
throughout the years) that
in spite of the Reform
movement not demanding
any actual behavior change
(read mitzvot) in their
members’ commitments,
they lose numbers every
year. Young Jews who are
offered nothing would
rather call themselves
‘atheist’ than Jews. Jewish
Orthodoxy, on the other
hand, is growing.
26 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
PRESSURE YOUR BONES INTO
GETTING
STRONGER
WRITTEN BY REBECCA BLUE
Make ‘no bones’ about it; as we age, we
begin to lose control of our body’s ability
to function properly on its own. This can
be a hazard to not only our physical well
being, but our peace of mind as well.
However, aging successfully and staying
strong is sure "ti-bi-a" cinch when we
take the necessary precautionary
measures. As we head into the autumn
season of our lives, as well as the year,
the following "bone-afide" information is
meant to assure you, and your bones,
your very best chance.
Rebecca Blue is a certified personal trainer and the
co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo
fitness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com
27 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
while growing stronger each day
with exercise and diet. As long as
you take the proper steps, you can
still protect your health and peace
of mind.
Physicians typically recommend
prescription medications to
combat Osteoporosis, and yes,
these drugs do increase bone
density. But only modestly. On the
other hand, engaging in weight
bearing and resistance exercises
has been proven to stimulate bone
growth, increase bone strength,
and slow bone loss, thus reducing
the risk of fractures. As little as 30
minutes a day can help in your
efforts to reverse Osteoporosis.
Additionally, your muscles will
become stronger and you will
improve your balance, which will
help prevent falling.
Let's not forget that a good diet
with many nutrient rich foods,
such as kale, sardines, salmon,
unprocessed soy, and vitamins C
and D, are very beneficial to aiding
the fight of Osteoporosis. Main-
taining an arsenal of disease-fight-
ing food will enhance all your hard
work. You may even shed a few
unwanted pounds, making holiday
"s(k)elfies" that much more
enjoyable.
Some of the best resistance
exercises that will help to assist
you in your battle with your bones
are high impact, weight bearing
exercises such as:
Dancing
Hiking
High impact aerobics
Running
Stair climbing
Jumping rope
Tennis
If High Impact training is not a
OSTEOPOROSIS IS
AN EPIDEMIC.
U
ntil you reach your early to
mid 30’s, your body builds
new bones at the same rate
in which it breaks down old bones.
At that point, your bones have
increased in density to their
maximum level.
Once that maximum level is
reached, bone growth typically
begins to reverse and bone loss
occurs faster than it can be
replaced. It is believed that 50% of
women and 30% of men will
develop Osteoporosis by age 60,
and the effects are dreadful.
Osteoporosis deteriorates your
bones to the point where they
become brittle and excessively
porous. This often leads to serious
bone fractures. These fractures
commonly occur in your hip, wrist
and spine, and can bear irrevers-
ible health issues. Quality of life
can be seriously impacted by this
disease. The thing is, it is a
condition that cannot be found in
early history.
Like so many diseases, Osteopo-
rosis was unheard of a century
ago. It is believed that todays diet
and lifestyle, which have certainly
changed for the worse, are the
main causes. Sedentary living,
excess alcohol, smoking, and
processed non-nutrient rich foods
are all too dominant. While these
factors can have devastating
effects on your skeleton, research
suggests that there may be little
need to let it rattle your bones.
If you’ve had a bone density
analysis and you were diagnosed
with Osteopenia or Osteoporosis,
it may not be too late. There is
still hope. You can actually
reverse your bones back to life
level of fitness you can endure,
low impact exercise can be
effective. Try any of the following:
Low impact aerobics
Walking (you can use an
adjustable weight vest to
increase impact)
Power walking
Light jog on the treadmill (to
absorb the bounce)
Be sure to include strength
training exercises. Great choices
include:
Lifting free weights
Using different elastic resis-
tance bands (push/pull
actions increase the spine and
hip bone mineral density).
Weight assisted machines
Body weight exercises such as
pushups, squats, and planks
Functional movement exercis-
es, such as calve raises and
stability exercises
Take Note: It may be wise to
discuss exercises, such as Yoga or
Pilates with your physician before
adding them due to possible stress
on the spine or risk of spine
fracture. Also, aerobic exercises,
such as swimming and biking are
not considered resistance training.
You want to be sure you are doing
the right exercises for your body's
needs, even if you add these for
other health reasons.
While many of these concerns
may rightfully send chills down
your spine, it's time to tell Osteo-
porosis, "Bone-voyage!" It's time to
get up off those lazy bones and
say, "Bone-jour," to the rewards of
a stronger and healthier set of
bones and a happy, healthier YOU!
It is certainly the best Chanukah
present you can give to yourself
and your loved ones that will last
you the rest of your life.
fyi
28 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
Cheesecake
Toppings Bar
Make Your Own
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHANI FRIEDMAN
29 |
fyimagazineny.com
TAKE YOUR
PARTY TO THE
NEXT LEVEL
with this fun and deli-
cious activity for guests
of all ages. A cheese-
cake toppings bar is
the perfect way to let
guests personalize their
desserts. Simply head to
your local grocery store
and pick up some plain
Gevinni cheesecakes.
Yes, we said buy a
cheesecake. They’re that
Mini Marshmallows
Strawberries
Blueberries
Mini Chocolate Chips
Caramel Sauce
Chocolate Syrup
Peanut Butter Sauce
Cherry Pie Filling
Pretzels
Glazed Pecans
Chocolate Covered
Raisins
LOVE YOUR LIFE
Our favorite toppings:
Add your favorite toppings! The possibilities
are endless!
good. You and your guests
won’t know the dierence,
and you’ll have that much
less to do.
Cover a side table with
your favorite tablecloth.
Then set 2 or 3 cheese-
cakes (depending on the
size of your party) on cake
stands with cake knives.
Arrange small decorative
bowls, on the table, for
the toppings, with spoons
and labels.
30 |
fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE
A neg-
ative mind is
like a flat tire,
you can’t go
anywhere with
it unless you
change it.
“The days that you
are most uncom-
fortable are the days
you learn the most
about yourself.
- MARY L. BEAN
“Anything
that costs
you your
peace of
mind is too
expensive.
- DALAI LAMA
“Many people are looking for
the city of happiness, while
they don’t realize it’s located
in the state of mind.
- RABBI AVRAHAM PAM
QUOTES THAT
INSPIRE
#DailyDose
“DON’T RUIN A
GOOD TODAY BY
THINKING ABOUT A
BAD YESTERDAY.
- RUSSEL SIMMONS
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LOVE YOUR LIFE
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LOVE YOUR LIFE
THE ZIKA
BUZZ
As the weather gets colder, winter break is on
everyones minds. It is very exciting to be
planning your mid-winter break, and getting
away from the cold is the number one priori-
ty. The feeling of the warm weather envelop-
ing you would be a dream come true,
especially since we have changed the clocks
and officially welcomed winter. Warm weath-
er and blue skies make everything seem
better, right? Well, it’s not so simple. Definite-
ly not this year. If you’ve been on social me-
dia, read the news, or been to a doctor's office
lately, youve probably heard the buzz about
the zika virus. However, if you’re like most,
you might be more confused and anxious
rather than calm and well informed.
WRITTEN BY YAEL GELLER
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LOVE YOUR LIFE
W
hat is the big deal about Zika?
Why is it that every physi-
cian’s office you visit lately
has a sign from the CDC warning women
that there is a level 2 travel ban due to
Zika? Why are there travel advisories
warning not to travel to parts of Central
America, Puerto Rico, Mexico, and even
the southern US? Is it all just hype and
physicians over cautioning the public?
Most importantly, where can you travel
for your winter break? Have no fear, we
got the low-down for you.
WHAT IS IT? Zika Virus was first discov-
ered during the 1960’s in Africa. The
symptoms of Zika mimic Influenza with
low grade fever, night sweats, conjuncti-
vitis, skin rash and generalized body
aches. Zika is a mosquito borne illness
which has been confirmed to be infec-
tious from person to person, meaning
mosquitos and humans are the carriers
and transmitters of this disease.
There are two species of Aedes
mosquitos that carry and transmit the
Zika Virus. The Aedes Aegypti and Aedes
Albopictus. The Aegypti mosquito
cannot fly more than forty meters,
which is why there are certain areas in
Miami which have periodically been
quarantined and written up as no travel
zones. The other, Aedes Albopictus, is a
species of mosquito which can be found
in both, the southern and the northern
part of the United States, and has the
potential to spread the virus further if
Zika progresses. It has not been con-
firmed whether or not a mosquito can
bite an individual with Zika and then
pass it along to another human being.
Zika is spread from person to person,
and from a pregnant woman to her fetus
(it has not yet been confirmed if the
fetus is safer in the third trimester than
in the first two). Infants and fetuses who
have shown positive for Zika have had
other symptoms, including defects of the
eye, hearing deficits, and impaired
growth. An increase in Guillain-Bar
syndrome, an uncommon sickness of the
nervous system, has also been reported
in areas affected by Zika.
WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN?
In medicine, we often discuss risk versus
benefits. Generally, if the benefit of a
treatment outweighs the risks, then the
proposed treatment is implemented.
With Zika, we can apply the same
principals (better safe than sorry) by
taking precautions to prevent the
acquisition of Zika virus through
preventing mosquito bites. If you are
traveling to an area which is on the
CDC’s travel advisory list, please take
precautions if you are pregnant, poten-
tially pregnant, or are considering
pregnancy within the next 6 months. It
is recommended that men take extra
precautions, because Zika virus can lay
dormant in their system for up to six
months after exposure! This is highly
concerning even more so than exposing
females to Zika carrying mosquitos.
PRECAUTIONS If you live in a warm
climate, especially in the southern parts
of the US or countries with Zika adviso-
ries, and the above conditions apply to
you, take these precautions on a daily
basis.
Wear sleeves and socks to limit skin
exposure to prevent mosquito bites.
Spray your body and clothing with a
CDC approved mosquito repellent or
Lemongrass oil (a comprehensive list
of approved repellents can be found
on the CDC website).
Limit exposure to outdoors by staying
indoors or in screened off areas.
If you live in an area which is not a
Zika hot zone, it will not hurt to use
an insect repellent or lemongrass oil
mist daily.
Mosquito netting can be used to cover
babies younger than 2 months old in
carriers, strollers, or cribs to protect
them from mosquito bites. Do not use
insect repellents on babies younger
than 2 months old.
If you or your husband have plans to
visit Zika areas, it is critical to take
precautions and discuss it with your
physician prior to departure and
return. Again, this is critical for child
The major concern
with Zika comes
from a study done
in Brazil linking
birth defects, such
as microcephaly in
infants. Micro-
cephaly is an
underdevelopment
of the head due to
abnormal brain
development. This
condition was a
common denomi-
nator in hundreds
of babies born to
women who were
infected with Zika
virus.
SO HERE ARE THE
STATS: There have
been a reported
137 (as of October
16, 2016) locally
acquired cases of
Zika (all in Florida)
in the United
States. There have
been over 3,000
travel associated
cases that have
shown up through-
out the US. There
have been close to
27,000 locally
acquired cases in
Puerto Rico alone!
There is no
question that Zika
Virus has the
potential to be one
of the biggest
public health
disasters of our
time, threatening
the most precious
thing to us; Our
children.
34 |
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bearing age women who are
considering or are currently preg-
nant.
You can prevent mosquitoes from
laying their eggs around your home
by making sure there is no standing
water. Mosquitoes can lay eggs in as
little as a teaspoon of water.
Standing water can be found in
trash cans, gutters, cups, and empty
planters.
While Zika may not be on your radar
at the moment, the threat is certainly
relevant and a current public health
emergency with the potential for a
disaster. There is ongoing research by
many different universities and
agencies to further explain and
understand the proliferation of micro-
cephaly and other birth defects
observed in infants born to mothers
infected with Zika. Until further
information about the progression of
this issue is understood, it is advisable
to take the necessary precautions* to
protect yourself and your loved ones.
TREATMENT If you have a confirmed
case of Zika virus, make sure to get
plenty of fluids and rest during your
recovery. Take a fever reducing medi-
cation, but do not take advil or aspirin.
See your primary care physician
immediately if these symptoms arise
after recent travel to the affected areas.
Once a person has contracted Zika, it is
unlikely they will contract it in the
future. At this time there is no vaccine
to prevent Zika virus.
The bottom line is that if you do plan
to make travel arrangements to any
questionable destinations, you and
your husband should consult with your
physician before doing so and take the
necessary precautions.
fyi
American Samoa
Anguilla
Antigua & Barbuda
Aruba
Bahamas
Barbados
Belize
Bolivia
Bonaire
Brazil
British Virgin
Islands (UK)
Cayman Islands
Colombia
Costa Rica
Cuba
Curaçao
Dominica
Dominican Republic
Ecuador
El Salvador
Fiji Widespread
French Guiana
Grenada
Guadeloupe
Guatemala
Haiti
Honduras
Jamaica
Malaysia
Maldives
Martinique
Mexico
Widespread
Micronesia
Montserrat
Nicaragua
Palau
Panama
Paraguay
Peru
Philippines
Puerto Rico
Saba
Saint Kitts & Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Martin
Saint-Barthélemy
Saint Vincent & the
Grenadines
Singapore
Sint Eustatius
Sint Maarten
Solomon Islands
Suriname
Thailand
Trinidad and Tobago
Turks and Caicos
United States of
America, Florida
including Miami-
Dade, Palm Beach
and Pinellas
US Virgin Islands
Venezuela
Widespread
Vietnam
Widespread
*The precautions have been published by the CDC. For more information
please visit their website. www.cdc.gov
AREA’S TO AVOID OR PROCEED
WITH PRECAUTION:
Yael Geller graduated with a Master’s in Public
Health from the Milken Institute of Public
Health at George Washington University in
August of 2015. Her primary focus during her
studies was public health policy analysis, health
education, and intervention development and
implementation. Her thesis explored the psycho-
logical reasoning of the rise in the anti-vaccina-
tion movement among parents. She currently
works for a nationally recognized non-prot
organization coordinating health education pro-
grams and writing medical education materials.
YaelGellerMPH@gmail.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT
Take A Break | Gi Guide | Marketing
WRITTEN BY NECHAMA ELBAZ
MIRACLE OIL:
HEALING THROUGH
DABS OF AROMA
Sniffles and sick days are part and parcel of winter's many
months. Frigid temperatures and desiccated air wreak havoc
on us humans, but nature doesn't only have to work against
us. There's a wealth of healing properties in plants and
vegetation alike, and they're readily available -- extracted,
bottled, and ripe for buying -- in the form of essential oils.
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S
keptical? Purified substances that are entirely
natural cannot be patented, rendering them
less profitable so funding for proper research
studies is low. Uses and methodology for each
essential oil are instead mostly passed down from
generation to generation. The oils' magic isn't
scientifically proven, but the proof is in the customer
base.
Back in the '90’s, Rachael Siegelman was seeing
such success with her essential oil use, that she and
her husband began selling them. They've sold the
business since, but are still frequent users. "I had a
child who was very anxious. She was having a lot of
bad dreams; she had low self confidence, too. I made
a blend to help her sleep and feel better. It was very
subtle, but very potent. The quality of the oil definite-
ly matters for that one." She lists countless more
everyday uses for various oils. "Rosemary and
lavender improve circulation and soothe sore
muscles, so they're great for after a workout. I sprain
my ankle a lot and I use blue chamomile mixed with
lavender and ice. It's expensive and it stains, but it
works. Tea tree and rosemary are great for prevent-
ing lice, though you still need to do the checks. I
made a blend for scars -- to alleviate the itching and
burning -- after another child had brain surgery. "
Her personal favorite? "Every young mother should
have a bottle of lavender. It's the best thing for burns.
I keep a bottle in my kitchen. There are so many
other uses for it, plus it takes on the properties of
whatever you mix it with so it only enhances a blend.
Throw it in the kid's laundry to get the urine out, use
it for headaches, a tiny drop to fall asleep, or con-
versely, a larger amount actually acts as a stimulant
and keeps you awake."
SO WHAT ARE ESSENTIAL OILS AND HOW DO THEY
WORK? They're actually not oils at all, but the
complex blend of chemicals and nutrients found in
various plants. Each blend possesses different
properties -- some are antibacterial, some are decon-
gestants, others act as antidepressants, and the list
goes on.
From skin conditions to the common cold, nausea
to stress control, there's a plant somewhere in the
world that has the properties to combat nearly every
condition known to man.
Everybody is different, however, so what works for
one person, may not work for you.
"I learned about essential oils from a mentor of
mine," says Avigail B. "I tried a few things for myself
-- peppermint for headaches, eucalyptus or lemon for
colds, and lavender for my acne. I can't tell you if they
worked or not. Sometimes they seemed to alleviate
the symptoms, other times I didn't see any differ-
ence." As a mother though, she sees concrete results
with her children. "My baby has terrible reactions to
certain wipes and diapers, and it's expensive to only
buy the natural ones. I make my own spray with tea
tree oil, water, and unscented, natural baby soap. Its
good for Shabbos, too, when I don't use wipes and it
completely clears him up." Another use? "My son
would get ear infections after catching a cold, so I
"From skin conditions to the
common cold, nausea to
stress control, there's a plant
somewhere in the world that
has the properties to combat
nearly every condition known
to man..."
GET A HANDLE ON IT
37 |
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
SKIN CARE
ACNE
Mix a few drops of lavender
(antimicrobial/antioxidant), clary
sage (anti-inflammatory), or
frankincense (antibacterial/
anti-inflammatory) into a
dime-size squeeze of moisturizer.
Make a homemade toner by
mixing a few drops of tea tree
(antibacterial/antimicrobial/
antifungal) into 1/4 cup of
aloe-vera gel.
AGING/DAMAGED SKIN
Mix a few drops lavender (cell
regenerative), myrrh (anti-inflam-
matory), patchouli (cell regenera-
tive/antiseptic/antifungal/
antibacterial) or rose (antimicrobi-
al/anti-inflammatory) into a dime
sized squeeze of moisturizer.
DIAPER RASHES
In a spray bottle, mix tea tree oil
(antibacterial) with water and
unscented, natural baby soap.
COMMON AILMENTS
COMMON COLD
Dab lemon (decongestant) or
eucalyptus (expectorant/
decongestant) on the temples
and under the nose, place a few
drops in a diffuser or humidifier.
Run garlic oil (decongestant)
along drainage tubes behind the
ear. Follow with peppermint oil
(analgesic).
Rub eucalyptus (expectorant/
decongestant) or peppermint
(analgesic) into the chest.
EAR INFECTIONS
Drop garlic (antibacterial) in the
ear at onset.
HEADACHES
Dab peppermint (anesthetic) or
birch (anesthetic) on the temples
and pain areas.
NAUSEA
Rub peppermint (analgesic) onto
stomach or ingest.
PMS
Drop clary sage (emmenagogue)
or thyme (emmenagogue) into a
bath.
Ingest evening primrose (emme-
nagogue).
SORE THROAT
Dot the outside of your throat
with tea tree (antibacterial) or
gargle.
Mix garlic (antibacterial/antifun-
gal/antiviral) with licorice root
and golden seal, and ingest.
FIRST AID
BRUISES/SPRAINS
Mix blue chamomile (anti-inflam-
matory) with lavender (cell
regenerative) and ice. Apply to
infected area with a washcloth.
BURNS
Submerge in undiluted lavender
(cell regenerative).
INSECT BITES
Dab on lavender (anti-inflamma-
tory/anti-bacterial), patchouli
(anti-inflammatory), or ginger
(anti-inflammatory).
SORE MUSCLES
Massage peppermint (muscle
relaxant) oil into skin.
Drop rosemary (circulatory
stimulant) or lavender (relaxant)
into bath.
EMOTIONAL ISSUES
ANXIETY
Diffuse or ingest lavender
(anxiolytic).
Drop rose (anxiolytic) or
chamomile (sedative) into a
bath.
DEPRESSION
Rub jasmine (antidepressant)
into shoulders.
INSOMNIA
Drop a small amount of lavender
(anxiolytic) on your pillow.
Diffuse bergamot (anxiolytic) or
clary sage (sedative).
MEMORY OR FOCUS
Dab rosemary (stimulant) or
jasmine (stimulant) on temples
and under the nose.
STRESS
Diffuse lavender (sedative) or
rosemary (energizing), or drop
into a bath.
HOME MANAGEMENT
CLEANING SOLUTIONS
Drop lavender (odor eliminator)
into laundry.
Mix a few drops of lemon
(antiviral) or tea tree (antibacte-
rial) with ½ cup vinegar, ¼ cup
baking soda, and 2 liters of
water.
INSECT REPELLENT
In a spray bottle, mix lemon-
grass (repellent) or citronella
(repellent) with water.
LICE
Rub rosemary (repellent) or tea
tree (repellent) behind the ears.
COMMON USES OF ESSENTIAL OILS
38 |
fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT
started putting garlic oil in his ear at the slightest hint
of a sniffle. He hasn't had an ear infection since!"
HOW TO USE There are nearly as many ways to use
the oils as there are reasons to use them, and they
vary depending on your purpose. The most common
is dabbing on pressure points or pain areas. Next up is
aromatherapy.
"Aromatherapy is particularly effective for emotion-
al issues because the closest neural pathway to the
olfactory bulb -- the smell analyzing region of the
brain -- is the area that analyzes memory and emo-
tion," explains Rachael.
Diffusers, in the form of plug-in fans, candle bowls,
dehumidifiers, and more, spread the scent throughout
a room and penetrate the body slowly and gently.
(Want a homemade diffuser? Boil up a pot of water
and drop in some oil.)
Other applications? Mix essential oils - especially
those with antibacterial or antiviral properties - into
cleaning solutions. Drop some into your shampoo or
skin care products, or add into homemade soaps. Dab
onto your pillow or drop into a bath, and breathe in
the oil as you relax. For a real treat, using oils with
massage or reflexology creates a multi-sensory
experience.
WHERE TO PURCHASE Ready to start buying? The
essential oil market is a little tricky -- there are many,
many fraudulent companies. If the oils are atypically
cheap, or if the packaging or descriptors state 'fra-
grance' or 'perfume,' steer clear -- they're synthetic. If
you're buying online, read the reviews. Be wary of
those, too. There are often thousands of slanted
reviews that are written in exchange for free bottles
or discounted prices. "Completely ignore those
reviews," says Rafi H. of Jerusalem. "We basically
bought baby oil in a lavender oil bottle because I
overlooked that."
If you're wary post-purchase, here's a quick test:
Extract a single drop onto a piece of construction
paper. If the oil evaporates completely, it's pure,
undiluted essential oil. Any residual rings and it's
time to move on to another supplier. (Disclaimer: This
test does not work for patchouli or myrrh.)
BRANDS If you want to just pick a brand and stick
with them, Young Living and doTerra are popular
brands. Die-hards, though, prefer Rocky Mountain or
Plant Therapy, because they source their oils from
wildly grown plants, which have more potent proper-
ties than farmed vegetation. Every brand has both,
fans and skeptics, and everybody reacts differently to
different brands as well, so do your own research or
find a local supplier you trust.
STORAGE Essential oils are best stored in a dark glass,
away from direct sunlight. If you buy a large bottle,
it's best to transfer to a smaller, 5ml bottle (you'll
want the dropper anyway) to prevent oxidization. The
oils last 5-10 years, aside from citrus oils, which last
only 1-2 years. The headier, more perfume-like oils --
rose, jasmine, ylang ylang, etc. -- actually improve
with age.
FOR YOUR SAFETY Use the oils with discretion. Do
your research before using on children -- some are
toxic, others may affect their more sensitive skin. No
oils should be used while in the first trimester, and
some specific oils, such as clary sage, chamomile, or
rosemary, interfere with hormone levels and should
not be used the entire pregnancy or while nursing.
Essential oils are very concentrated and should
rarely be used straight. (Submerging a burn wound in
lavender is one exception.) Instead, oils should be
diluted in a base oil, commonly referred to as a carrier
oil. Olive and almond oil are tried and true favorites,
though jojoba wax and coconut oil are gaining
popularity and contribute additional benefits. Test
sensitivity to a new oil by placing one drop of oil in
1/2 teaspoon of carrier oil. Rub into the inside of your
upper arm - the skin there is similar to the sensitive
skin of your face. If you experience redness or itching,
discontinue use. If you're allergic to the whole plant,
don't use the derived oil.
Ingest only food-grade oils, and verify kosher
certification if necessary.
With so many applications, you're bound to find an
essential oil, or a whole slew of them, that work for
you. Here's to a miraculously healthy winter!
fyi
"Aromatherapy is particularly
effective for emotional issues
because the closest neural
pathway to the olfactory bulb
-- the smell analyzing region of
the brain -- is the area that
analyzes memory and emotion."
39 |
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
Marketing 1
What do all of the following have in com-
mon: driving traffic, targeting qualified
customers, converting users, increasing
sales and profits? They are all wonderful
things wed love to be doing all the time.
Another commonality is that in order to
do them right, you need Analytics.
How Well Do You
Know Your Own
Website?
WRITTEN BY BARUCH LEIFER
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
DRIVING TRAFFIC
Using Analytics, you
can find which traffic
sources are your best
(or worst) performers.
Performance includes
time spent on site,
bounce rates, pages per
visit, actions taken,
transactions, and sales.
Look for traffic sources
that stand out in these
categories to know
exactly where you
should be focusing
your marketing dollars
and efforts. Analyze
the return on invest-
ment you are getting
from all your traffic
sources. The higher the
return, the more
money you should
invest. With Analytics,
you can also find
“holes” that need to be
plugged. A source that
is costing you money
and not leading to
anything is a hole that
needs to be dealt with
immediately.
TARGETING QUALIFIED
CUSTOMERS
Discover common
interests or behaviors
among your website
visitors and adjust your
marketing accordingly.
There are various
methods for doing this,
such as using Display
Features, or segment-
ing your traffic based
on pages visited or
actions taken. You may
find that a majority of
people who converted
on the site also shared
a certain interest, or
perhaps visited the
same key page on the
site. You can now
market to people of
this interest or push
more traffic towards
this key page. You
could also find that
certain interests are
actually not converting
well at all, and you
should exclude those
audiences from your
marketing.
HAVING THE ANALYTICS IS THE
FIRST STEP; KNOWING WHAT YOU
LOOK FOR IS THE KEY.
CONVERTING USERS
Which pages on your
site have higher
conversion rates than
others? What about
lower conversion
rates? How about this:
which pages on your
site don’t actually have
any conversions, but
rather have the most
assisted conversions?
Do you know which
pages cause your
visitors to leave and
which help them stay?
Identifying all these
pages and then taking
action to fix the
broken” or to focus
more on the “superior
will lead to increased
conversions and more
customers for your
website business.
INCREASING SALES
AND PROFITS
Within your business
website, there are
products or services
that sell better than
others. Some sell
grouped together with
others, and some sell
in higher quantity per
transaction than
others. Do you know
which ones they are?
For a small business,
this is generally a
simple question, but for
a company with 5,000+
SKU’s, the answer may
not be so simple. You
need to analyze the
data to find which
items you can sell more
easily, and which items
lead to higher average
order values. An item
might sell a lot but it
takes more traffic (and
therefore more
marketing dollars) to
sell it, but another item
that doesn’t sell as
often usually sells with
less marketing effort or
leads to customers
buying other items
together with it as well,
which then leads to
higher revenue per
transaction. Careful
analysis and weighing
of the data will tell you
which items will lead
to increases in sales
and profits.
Baruch Leifer is a profes-
sional digital marketing
specialist. His experience
includes directing the SEM
department of a large
marketing rm as well
as heading the marketing
department of an Inc 500
travel company. For inqui-
ries contact baruchleifer@
outlook.com.
THE CHANUKA GIFT YOU WILL ENJOY
ALL YEAR LONG!
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THE CHANUKA GIFT YOU WILL ENJOY
ALL YEAR LONG!
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WRITTEN BY NISSI UNGER
SURPRISING
THINGS THAT
CONTAIN
One 42 gallon barrel of oil produces 19.4
gallons of gasoline. Over half, though, is used
to create thousands of other products. In
the spirit of Chanukah, here are some of the
more surprising uses of oil, revealed.
u
1. CRAYONS
The word Crayola is a combination of
the French word “craie,” meaning
“chalk,” and “ola,” shortened from the
French word “oléagineux,” meaning
“oily.” Thanks to oil, many fond
childhood memories, both at home
and at school, have been created.
Every single crayon in a child's
Crayola is made of paraffin wax—a
waxy solid derived from petroleum.
Paraffin wax also gives us joy in the
form of candles, and is sometimes
used to shine apples and to gloss
chocolates.
OIL
43 |
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
5. CONTACT LENSES
u
As a contact lens wearer, I can attest to the
comfort and relief soft contacts provide.
Before soft contacts, hard contact lenses
were the only thing available. I remember
my friend’s hard contacts popping out of
her eye without warning on more than one
occasion during classroom sessions.
So what is it that makes contacts so soft
and malleable? Synthetic polymers made
out of petroleum. Not only do they make the
lens soft, but they allow oxygen to permeate
the lens. That makes the lens wearable and
ensures your eyeball won’t be “choked”
under the layer of soft plastic.
u
4. PANTYHOSE
You may call them hosiery,
tights, or leggings. Since the
1930s, millions of women have
worn fashionable nylon panty-
hose. Most do not remotely know
or consider that nylon is a
petroleum-derived thermoplastic
invented by Wallace Carothers, a
chemist working at the DuPont
company. He was searching for a
silk replacement that had been
scarce because of WWII. Today,
nylons help make products,
ranging from guitar strings to
parachutes.
u
3. GUM
Pop. Snap. Are you one of those who
love the snap and long-lasting chewy
texture of chewing gum? Give a shout
out then to petroleum-derived poly-
mers.
Today's gum bases often consist of
both, natural latexes and petroleum
products, such as polyethylene and
paraffin wax. That means that most
gums are non-biodegradable. (Maybe
that is how the myth of having gum
stuck in your digestive tract for seven
years came about.) Originally, chewing
gums bases were made from natural
latex known as chicle.
Chicle remains the gum base of
choice for some expensive gum brands
and certain regional markets. FYI:
While most gum wrappers simply list
gum base, the base is often made of
waxes, petroleum, stearic acid, glycer-
in, lanolin, and other components.
u
2. LIPSTICK
Lipsticks and other cosmetics have been around for centuries, but
modern day cosmetics are smooth and provide flawless application. This
is thanks to petroleum products or byproducts, such as crylates, coal tar
colorants, and propylene glycol. Many cosmetics are so smooth thanks
todid you say paraffin wax? Yes, the wax gives tube lipstick their shape
and provides that smooth application. What is paraffin wax? A white or
colorless soft solid derivative of petroleum, shale or coal.
Interestingly, Vaseline (petroleum jelly) is used by many women as
eyeliner remover. It is also used on lips before lipstick application.
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
S
easonal Affective Disorder
(SAD) is a type of depression
related to the changing
seasons. Orli's doctor suspects that
she suffers from a mild form of this
condition. She's among the 14
percent of American adults who get
the winter blues, but Orli believes
there are many more people who
feel similarly but don't even realize
it. Some physicians think as many
as 25 percent of people suffer from
winter doldrums.
"I mentioned to a friend that I
was looking into some holistic
remedies for moodiness, and she
started asking me all these ques-
tions," Orli recalls. "As I told Renee
more about it, she asked, 'Well,
doesn't everyone feel this way in
the winter?'" Renee was surprised
to learn that not everyone gets
down when the seasons change –
she had just taken it as a fact of life.
While exercise helps give Orli the
best mood boost all year round, she
also looks forward to Chanukah
and finds that anticipating the
upcoming holiday, thinking about it
and planning for it, warms her
from the inside out. "Chanukah has
always been my favorite holiday.
The candles, the family time, the
singing, games, and food all give
me a big boost of inspiration, right
in the darkest part of winter when I
need it most."
Whether you get the winter blues
or you know someone who does,
everyone can benefit from taking
some time out to bring a little light
into these dark days. Here are some
tips.
BEAT THE BLUES
J Light up your life. Researchers
at Harvard Medical School note that
bright light stimulates cells in the
retina that connect to the brain.
Sitting close to a special light box
for at least 30 minutes a day is as
effective as antidepressants, they
note. People who don't suffer from
SAD can still reap the benefits of
Every year at this
time, Orli M., a wife and
mother of four, starts to
feel down, tired, over-
sensitive and irritable.
She finds her work as a
translator to be less
interesting and more
draining than usual.
Although her feelings
aren't severe enough to
prevent her from doing
what she needs to do,
she nevertheless feels
like every little chore
and accomplishment
saps her energy and
leaves her feeling
depleted.
WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER
How To
LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS
& WARM YOUR WINTER DAYS
take
a
break
GET A HANDLE ON IT
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
lite "light therapy" by opening
curtains and blinds, sitting close to
windows and even turning more
lamps on at home. If you need more
convincing, just think of the
special, warm glow of the Chanu-
kah candles. It makes me want to
light some candles around the
house.
J Exercise. A study published in
the Archives of Internal Medicine
showed that regular exercise is as
helpful as antidepressants in
curing people with mild depres-
sion. Not only that - the effects of
regular exercise lasted longer than
those from medication. A Harvard
Medical School report suggests
that 35 minutes of exercise, five
days a week, is the minimum
needed to make a mood boost last.
J Plan a vacation. You may not
be among the lucky few flying off
for a midwinter Caribbean get-
away, but you can still plan a
vacation – especially now that you
know it's good for you. In fact,
research shows that planning a
vacation might actually make you
feel happier than going on one.
Dutch researchers found that just
anticipating a vacation had a
positive impact on a person's
mental and physical health.
J Get out. It's pretty cold, but if
you can spend any time outdoors
by taking a quick walk, playing in
the snow with your family, or
whatever you can manage, you'll
be doing yourself a favor. Research-
ers at the Mayo Clinic say fresh air,
even in the cold, increases creativi-
ty, concentration and focus.
J Eat smart. As tempting as it
may be to curl up on the couch and
chow down on those Chanukah
donuts and other classic comfort
foods, studies show that eating too
much sugar and too many simple
carbs will only increase feelings of
anxiety and depression. Dr. Simon
Young, a professor in McGill
University's Department of
Psychiatry, recommends adding
fish rich in omega-3s, like tuna,
sardines and salmon to one's diet,
noting that research shows they
can benefit one's mood. Dietitians
also recommend a banana or
avocado, as well as complex carbs
like whole oats and whole wheat
bread. Limit caffeine and alcohol.
But do indulge in a little dark
chocolate. A Swiss study showed
that eating 1.4 ounces of dark
chocolate a day reduces stress
hormones.
J Supplement. Vitamins D, C and
omega-3s have all been shown to
improve moods. In fact, a 2013
study published in PLOS ONE
showed that people with the
lowest vitamin D levels were 11
times more likely to be depressed
than those with normal levels.
Natural supplements like St. John's
Wort and zinc are also widely
recognized as being effective in
fighting blue moods.
J Listen up. Crank up the music!
Happy, lively, upbeat music has a
positive effect on mood – and it's
long-lasting, according to research-
ers at the University of Missouri.
So pick out your favorite Chanukah
tunes and enjoy.
J Accomplish something. Get
yourself involved in a project like
handcrafting Chanukah gifts,
putting together a photo album,
knitting something, doing creative
writing, or even organizing a
closet. Brett Blumenthal, author of
numerous books and articles on
well-being, says, "The pure act of
working towards something and
accomplishing it makes me
happier." Sue Pavlovich of the
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Association (SADA) adds, "Keeping
your mind active seems to ward off
symptoms of SAD."
J Warm up your decor. Designers
recommend adding bright pops of
cranberry, red, yellow, and orange
to your home to "warm" it up in the
winter. Emily Morrow, the director
of style and design at a large
flooring company, says these clean,
clear colors "bring on a positive
emotional and psychological
response." Designers like the famed
Emily Henderson also recommend
lots of gold accents and organic
textures, like tree cuttings, wool,
wood, suede, and leather. Rugs,
textured throw pillows, a bowl of
lemons or oranges, and cozy
knitted couch blankets help, too.
Bringing a potted plant or two into
your home can remind you of
sunnier days. Add some cinnamon
or citrus scents to the air and
you're good to go.
J Don't hibernate. Don't give in
to the temptation to stay at home,
holed up under a pile of blankets.
Socializing is a proven way of
warding off winter blues, the Mayo
Clinic says. It turns out all those
Chanukah parties are not only fun,
but they're also good for you!
J Keep warm. Staying warm
reduces winter blues by as much as
50 percent, notes Britain's National
Health Service. They recommend
hot soups and drinks; wearing
warm, cozy clothes and shoes; and
keeping your home between 64-70
degrees.
fyi
Socializing is a proven way of warding off winter blues,
the Mayo Clinic says. It turns out all those Chanukah
parties are not only fun, but they’re also good for you!
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
1. Rory's Story Cubes
uncommongoods.com, $7.50
Imaginations run wild with these dice, as
players take turns crafting stories that
twist to fit the dice.
2. Fur Keychain
mobstub.com, $8.00
Deliciously soft and fluffy, and available in
tons of fun colors.
3. Jenga
walmart.com, $8.77
This classic game never gets old and will
add fun and laughs all around.
4. Vacu Vin Wine Saver
bedbathandbeyond.com, $9.99
Delight the amateur connoisseur
in your life with this clever bottle sealing
system.
5. Prescription Coffee Mug
bedbathandbeyond.com, $9.99
Ensure the recipient takes their morning
dose of coffee safely, thanks to the
carefully printed instructions on this mug.
THE ULTIMATE CHANUKAH
GIFT GUIDE
FOR EVERY BUDGET
2
1
4
3
5
$10
UNDER
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
1. Paint by Sticker
marbles.com, $10.99
Relaxing, good fun! Create
3D effect pictures pix-elated
from low-poly vinyl stickers.
2. Art Dice
uncommongoods.com, $12.00
The perfect gift for your
budding artist, full of endless
possibilities.
3. Sodynee Watch Box
amazon.com, $12.99
Constructed from solid wood
and lined with buttery PU
leather, this is understated,
elegant perfection.
4. Suspend Game
marbles.com, $13.99
Embark on a ‘suspenseful’
game of balance while building
hand-eye coordination.
5. Secret Garden
Coloring Book
marbles.com, $15.95
A coloring book that is all
grown up! Pair it with a set of
gel-pens or colored pencils
for a therapeutic, relaxing
gift.
6. Sonia Kashuk Makeup Case
target.com, $16.99
Bold, graphic prints that will
take her breath away!
7. How to Babysit
a Grandma/Pa
amazon.com, $17.00
A clever tongue-in-cheek
guide book that will delight
children and adults alike.
8. WhatchamaDRAWit
uncommongoods.com, $18.00
A deck of drawing instruc-
tions so silly, it’ll be sure to
tickle the funny-bones of all
your kids - from toddler to
sulky teen!
9. Find It Game
finditgames.com, $19.95
This portable game of I Spy
promotes focus and
concentration.
10. Clective Plaid/
Leather Gloves
c21stores.com, $19.99
Genuine leather gloves
with a mod, oversized,
geometric motif.
11. Loren Olivia
Tassel Necklace
c21stores.com, $19.99
This corded, leather tassel
necklace is the perfect winter
accessory.
12. Curbed Cuff Links
tiebar.com, $20.00
Sleek sophistication comes in
3 colors.
13. Beauty Blender Sponge
sephora.com, $20.00
For the makeup addict in
your life, this adorable
blender, available in tons of
cute colors, will make a
welcome gift.
14. Caterpillar Bud Vase
uncommongoods.com, $20
A minimalist glass row of
miniatures that speaks
volumes.
7
6
1
10
3
4
2
12
8
11
5
13
9
$20
UP TO
14
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YOU GOTTA KNOW
1. Kiehl’s Grapefruit
Body Care Duo
lordandtaylor.com, $24.00
Heavenly, fragrant exfoliator
and moisturizer, for the girl in
your life that needs
pampering.
2. Tenzi Dice Game
amazon.com, $24.95
An action packed game of
chance. Fun for the whole
family!
3. Charmax Magnifying
Light Mirror
amazon.com, $24.99
A spa quality magnifying
mirror, framed in warm LEDs.
4. Minnetonka Moccasin
Slipper
ldsw.com, $29.95
The coziest, yummiest,
cuddliest slippers ever.
5. Frenchi Valet
amazon.com, $27.00
Every gentleman needs a
valet, and this contemporary
styled one suits the modern
man perfectly.
6. 152 pc Crayola Set
zulily.com, $28.00
Every color of the rainbow
crayons --from pastels, to
neons, to glitter -- all
beautifully organized in a
convenient caddy.
7. Build Your Own
Marble Coaster
uncommongoods.com,
$29.95
A gift that keeps on giving
- building this fully functional
coaster is half the fun!
8. Magic Set
walmart.com, $29.98
Abracadabra! A magical gift
that he's sure to enjoy for
endless hours!.
9. Car Magnetic Clip
ogitech.com, $29.99
He’ll navigate ‘like a boss’
with this magnetic one-touch
car mount.
10. Jewel Classic Bluetooth
Speaker
blackneon.com, $30.00
A glamorous, jewel shaped
speaker that is part décor,
part function, and part
gasp-worthy cute.
11. Perry Ellis Belt
macys.com, $42.50
High quality, top of the line
belt, constructed from
supple, full grain leather.
IN THE
1
2
8
6
3
7
4
9
5
$30
RANGE
10
11
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
1. Personalized Wallet
northstarengraving.com,
$34.95
Make it his by having his
initials engraved into a
classy, leather wallet.
2. Personalized Coffee Mug
personalizedmall.com, $35.95
For the coffee lover with that
extra touch of love.
3. Let’s Play House
Laundry Set
melissaanddoug.com, $39.99
Start ‘em young with this
precious wooden set, along
with all the detailed
miniatures a budding
balabuste needs to role play
with.
4. Burberry Perfume
c21stores.com, $39.99
Spoil someone silly by gifting
them a luxurious and classic
Burberry scent.
5. Otrio Tic Tac Toe
marbles.com, $40.00
An engaging and competitive
game of strategy that
exercises critical thinking
and visual perception.
6. Dyson Toy Vaccum
zulily.com, $40.00
Now your little one can
‘vacuum’ alongside you! This
toy vacuum looks and
sounds just like yours.
7. Pop up Play Tent
amazon.com, $40.99
A little getaway enclave for
your mini adventurer to hole
up in.
8. Anastasia Modern
Eyeshadow Pallette
sephora.com, $42.00
A fresh fall palette of bold
pigments and warm neutrals.
9. Baby Alive Doll
amazon.com, $45.99
Your little girl will squeal with
glee - ‘baby alive’ is so lifelike
it does almost everything a
real baby does, including eat
and talk!
1
3
4
8
6
$40
JUST
ABOUT
7
(OR LESS)
9
2
6
5
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YOU GOTTA KNOW
1. Bluetooth Multi Device
Keyboard
amazon.com, $49.99
This keyboard pairs with any
bluetooth enabled device -
the perfect gift for the
gadget geek in your life.
2. Biddeford Heated Blanket
target.com, $49.99
This cozy, heated blanket is
the perfect snuggle-y treat
at the end of a cold winter
day.
3. Ripstick
target.com, $69.99
Hours of healthy outdoor
play.
4. Polly Pocket Adventure Jet
amazon.com, $69.99
A little girl’s dream, Polly
goes on a first class flight.
5. Large Mahogany
Cutting Board
qualtry.com, $79.99
This engraved, richly
colored, butcher-block
cutting board can be gifted
as a challah board.
6. Air Hogs - X-Stream
Video Drone
toysrus.com, $79.99
Welcome to the future.
7. Classic Kitchenette
kidkraft.com, $79.99
A modern play kitchen full
of exciting details, like stove
knobs that click when
turned.
8. Magna Tiles
target.com, $79.99
Hours and hours of creative
play - the perfect addition
to any playroom.
$50-
$80
3
1
2
4
5
6
7
8
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GET A HANDLE ON IT
1. Acqua di Gio 100ML
sephora.com, $85.00
A woody, earthy fragrance
for men.
2. Fashion Curl
conair.com, $87.99
Your teen will absolutely love
this professional-grade,
tourmaline, ceramic curler.
3. Ralph Lauren Terry
Bath Robe
ralphlauren.com, $95.00
This plush, luxurious terry
robe, made from 100%
turkish cotton, can be
monogrammed in rich
contrasting embroidery.
4. Versace Belt
Gilt.com, $95.00
A handcrafted leather belt
from Versace makes a
wonderfully extravagant
gesture.
5. Escrow Embossed
Leather Watch
lordandtaylor.com, $95.00
The watch a man wears says
a lot about who he is. He’ll
make an authoritative
statement with this sleek
bezel-faced timepiece.
6. Slim Merino Wool
Cardigan Sweater
jcrew.com, $90.00
Clean lines and a flattering fit
make this deliciously soft,
top quality, cashmere
sweater a standout present
that will be enjoyed all winter
long.
7. Ted Baker Michala Clutch
nordstrom.com, $95
Sophisticated in it’s
simplicity of design, this
modern clutch makes a great
gift for someone special.
8. Lego US Capitol Building
amazon.com, $99.99
This beautiful lego model
celebrates American
architecture and makes for
wonderful office décor when
completed.
9. Estee Lauder Modern Muse
Luxury Set
lordandtaylor.com, $85
For the women who deserves
to be pampered.
5
6
1
7
8
2
8
1
3
4
80+
WAY
UP TO
9
You’re ready for winter with every accessory available .
Why neglect your skin?
WE’VE GOT THE TIPS & TRICKS YOU NEED
to keep your skin soft and smooth this blistery season. (Page 54)
when nothing seems to go our way. Who are you going to call?
Your community can bring
MUCH NEEDED ENCOURAGEMENT TO ANY SITUATION. (PAGE 60)
Facing a challenge alone
is the most frightening experience. Where can you turn
when the going gets tough? (page 66)
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WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER
There are actually some people out there who love winter. If I
had my way, I’d have a week or two of snow and then move on to
spring. But some people actually enjoy the whole freezing season,
and even I admit to seeing the allure behind the coziness that only
a cup of hot chocolate on a freezing day can provide. But whether
you love the cold weather or hate it, there is probably one thing
that unites all of us—skin troubles.
WINTER
SKINCARE
ESSENTIALS
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The extreme cold plus drying indoor heating can make the
most glowing, youthful faces appear dull and drab, plus the
akes of drying skin that can appear on some areas of your
face are not particularly attractive. The reason behind this
is pretty simple; what keeps skin moisturized and glowing is
the water inside it. During the dry winter months your skin
can easily lose its natural oils and then the water it needs
to stay hydrated. Unless you replace it and/or make sure it
stays, your skin will be dry and uncomfortable. So how do
you get your skin back to normal?
PROTECTING YOUR SKIN
According to dermatologists, you need to
exfoliate every so often. This may sound
counter-intuitive, especially if your skin is
already shedding. But the reason it is so dry
is because dead skin cells are getting in the
way of moisture and not allowing it to
penetrate. Dr. Anjali Mahto, a consultant
dermatologist, advises that “Exfoliation will
immediately brighten your skin removing the
top layer of dead skin cells and also allow
better penetration of your moisturizer.” By
rubbing off those little nuisances, your skin is
now free to soak up more water. In fact,
Egyptian Queen Cleopatra used to bathe in
sour milk in order to exfoliate. You can try
that, or try the many products retailers sell,
or one of many natural solutions, such as
brown sugar and oil mixes. The choice is
yours!
Yeah, we all love those long warm showers
in the winter. But your skin does not! Dr.
Stephen Stone, dermatology Professor in
Southern Illinois University School of
Medicine advises that hot showers can dry
out your skin terribly. It’s best to use warm
rather than hot water, and gentle soaps that
will not strip your body of its natural oils.
The good news is that baths and showers are
a great way to add water to your skin. If you
pat your skin dry rather than rubbing it, and
then apply moisturizer within three minutes,
you are hydrating skin and protecting it.
That’s actually a pretty big misconception
people have about moisturizers; we think it
hydrates the skin. In reality, moisturizers
simply create a barrier that will not allow
water to evaporate out of our skin so easily.
During the winter, use a thicker one than you
would use in the summer for better protec-
tion. How about another surprise you
probably did not know about? Using oil based
products is a great idea! Whether for washing
skin or moisturizing it, oils will protect your
skin against water evaporation. Coconut oil
and olive oil respectively seem to be crowd
favorites. Alternately, you can use a moistur-
izer that has ingredients with the ability to
bind with the water, which will also help to
keep the water inside your skin.
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Historically, humans have gone to great
lengths to maintain healthy skin. From
the ancient Greeks, who bathed in olive
oil, to the Middle Ages, when wealthy
women would bathe in wine, there
have been many different treatments
that were used in an effort to maintain
beauty and youth. Not all the attempt-
ed treatments were innocuous;
lead—which can cause damage to
virtually all organs—was used for
hundreds of years to keep skin clear
and white. Benzoyl Peroxide was used
to clear skin in the 1920s, up until it was
discovered to be a carcinogen. In the
1980s Accutane was pretty popular as
an acne treatment; then it was linked
to suicide. Thankfully, you needn’t go
that far to keep your skin looking fresh
and healthy. A little shakeup in your
skincare routine is all you need.
WHAT WOMEN ARE SAYING
When I asked some people to recommend their favorite
products and tips for winter skin care upkeep, I got
quite a few different opinions, which makes sense
since skincare is quite personal and what works for
some people might not work for all. However, they are
all worth a try, especially if dry skin is something you
struggle with every winter.
Leah says “I got some amazing Mary Kay products,
from a friend of mine, that took care of my hands in the
winter like nothing ever did.
Judith advises to go with A&D ointment; “A & D
ointment is pretty pure. A bit smelly but not awful (the
smell wears off). Greasy but absorbs soon enough. Not
irritating, not very expensive. No magic but lubricates
and softens reliably.
Ruchy does appear to have discovered something
that seems a bit magical: “Cerve moisturizing cream.
It’s unlike any other type of lotion, because it contains
something called ceramides, which penetrate the
stratum corneum (outer layer of skin), and cause the
body to begin producing its own oils. The catch is that
it feels like a regular lotion for the first week; only after
using for a full week can you see the natural effects of
the cream. And please, please, please do not write
about cortisone creams as being helpful! My skin was
severely damaged by them.” She also highly recom-
mends using humidifiers, which keep the air most so
the skin does not lose as much moisture. This is
especially important when heating systems are
working overtime and drying out every indoor environ-
ment.
When Chaya said she heard the latest fad was using
pickle juice to combat acne, I had to check that out for
myself! I did not find anything on the subject from
dermatologists, but I did find one blog post by a woman
who used pickle juice as a toner for a week and claimed
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to have good results. Fermented foodstak-
en internallyare known to promote gut
health, which in turn can help with acne, so
you can keep eating those pickles, but you
may want to test it on an inconspicuous
area before using it on your skin. Foods that
you can eat to keep your skin healthy are
foods with omega-3 fatty acids, which can
stabilize skin cells and prevent dehydration.
Now for the million dollar question: can
drinking more water keep your skin hydrat-
ed? In return I will ask you a question: do you
feel less thirsty after a bath? The answer is
obviously no. There is no evidence to suggest
that the internal and the external share a
hydration system. According to Dr. Cynthia
Bailey, a dermatologist in northern Califor-
nia, the best way to add hydration is to take
advantage of the water your body absorbs
while bathing. “Taking a bath or shower
actually adds the water your dry skin needs.
If you apply a moisturizer right after you
towel off then you trap that moisture and -
presto - moist skin! If you don’t apply a
moisturizer then all that water evaporates,
leaving you with even drier skin.” Keep
drinking, though. The rest of your body still
needs water!
The biggest dry skin problem most of us
will have is on our hands, where the skin is
thinner. We tend to exacerbate the problem
by constantly washing them with soap,
stripping away the natural barriers that
would normally keep our skin protected. So
how do we stop the drying process? Follow
the Boy Scouts Motto and Be Prepared.
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1.
The air is cold making it
safe around kids.
2.
The germ filter, removes the
danger aspect of cold air
humidifiers.
3.
It can remain full for almost 24
hours, even on the high setting
due to its large water tank
(most only last about 4 hours).
4.
The vapor is so fine that you
cannot see it or feel it at all, you
only feel more comfortable.
Recommended
Humidifier:
Honeywell HCM350W Germ
Free Cool Mist Humidiier
Yehudit offers some advice: “A few small tips: Wear
rubber gloves when washing dishes. If hands are
getting dry, sleep in cotton gloves. If someone gets
bad cracks in their hands that aren’t going away,
keep vaseline on hand (in the kitchen, near where
you’re working), and keep reapplying.” Try to use
only moisturizing soaps, and if that is not possible,
wear gloves. Apply Vaseline or lotion every time you
wash your hands. Getting into that habit will help
protect your hands and keep them nice and un-
chapped, just the way you like ‘em.
Some things you may be doing without realizing
that they are drying your skin, like sitting in front of
the fireplace. Yes, it’s warm and oh-so-comfy and
inviting, but it’s also severely drying. You may also
be wearing wool, or some other heavy material that
keeps you warm but irritates your skin. The solution
to that problem is easy—just wear something made
of cotton or silk underneath. The extra layer will
keep you even warmer! You might be sitting around
at home (or laying under your blankets) and just
enjoying the peace and stillness of the snow. Well,
get up and get moving! Go skiing, skating, sledding,
make snow angels with your kids…Exercise will
promote circulation, which is great for your skin!
Don’t forget to heed Samantha’s warning: “Just
because temperatures may be cold does not mean
the sun cannot damage your skin. I apply sunscreen
following my cleanser and moisturizer, and then
start my make-up routine.” I know it is definitely
something I take for granted during the winter.
It can be hard to get into new and better habits.
Take one step at a time. Leave some moisturizer or
hand lotion around the house to remind you to use
them. Otherwise, your reddened, painful hands may
just be the first reminder you get.
fyi
If you apply a moisturizer right after
you towel off then you trap that
moisture and - presto - moist skin!
If you don’t apply a moisturizer then
all that water evaporates, leaving
you with even drier skin. Keep
drinking, though. The rest of your
body still needs water!
WRITTEN BY NURIT SIEGAL
NO
MIRACLE
HOW FRIENDSHIP AND
COMMUNITY STRENGTHENS
THE INDIVIDUAL.
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t was a particularly challenging
Shabbos morning, to say the least.
My two little daughters and I were
going to shul to meet my husband,
but getting ready was proving to be
difficult. We kicked off the morning
with a surprise, potty-training
accident on my lap, which sent me
right back to my room to get dressed
again (as if I had that many clean
clothes waiting to be perused
through in my closet). On my way
back to the living room, I tripped
over an unwanted banana that had
been smashed into the floor and
found that my younger daughter had
gleefully taken off her diaper, thereby leaving an
undesirable mess right in the middle of the living room.
While I took the time to carefully clean up the scene,
my toddler broke into a box of cheerios and mosaicked
the kitchen floor, while the little one paper-machéd my
bathroom with a roll of toilet paper. On the verge of
exploding, I tried to remind myself that they were
innocent little children and that we would leave the
house eventually, if I could just muster up some
patience. Then, a basket of clean laundry was over-
turned and I lost my mind. I yelled at my daughters,
“GIRLS! I’m feeling very, very FRUSTRATED!”
They stopped what they were doing and looked up,
somehow shocked that what they had done had not
been pleasing to me. I waited a moment. My oldest
flashed a smile and broke into her favorite children's
show’s song.
“Ima! When you’re feeeeeeling frustrated, take a step
BACK! And ask for HELP!”
I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to take a very
deep breath. I knew, in that moment, that a third-party
bystander would have found her jingle hilarious, but
instead of laughing, I made a very strong mental note
not to use the word “frustrated” again that morning. I
did, however, take her sagely advice and immediately
ask my husband for help upon our arrival at shul.
About a week later – after everyone had a good laugh
at my daughter’s well-intentioned song – I was telling a
woman in my community about the struggle to stay
patient with my kids on Shabbos, and the guilt that
followed when I failed. She smiled and said, “Y’know
there’s a young mother who sometimes comes by my
house on Shabbos mornings. She makes herself a cup
of coffee while my bigger kids play with her little ones.
You should also come over whenever you need a break.
I was touched beyond words. I wanted to shout, “Are
you serious??? That would be amazing!!!” Trying to hide
my desperation as much as possible, though, I said
something like, “That sounds lovely, thank you. I’ll
definitely think about it.
Going to this woman’s house on Shabbos mornings
when I need the extra “lift” has proven to be nothing
short of a miracle. Her kids cheer and clap when my
girls walk through the door, and the energy is conta-
gious. My intense, inner battle to remain patient
evaporates and is replaced with a sense of joy and
community. I sit down with a cup of coffee and relax
while watching my daughters run around and play.
This encouragement to venture outside of my
apartment on Shabbos mornings has been especially
important to me. As someone who is outgoing and
social with close friends, but intensely introverted and
shy when meeting new people, making new connec-
tions can be a challenge. I have a knack for avoiding
uncomfortable situations, and at one point even
confessed to our shul rebbetzin that it may be possible
that I sometimes sneak away to the bathroom when I
have a feeling she’s going to introduce me to someone
new. But over time, many times the hard way, I’ve
realized that avoiding the discomfort of new relation-
ships, when I could really use the support, can make
long days feel much longer.
As the bustle of the chagim has passed and Chanu-
kah now approaches, I’ve been reflecting on the
moments I’ve felt a sense of belonging in the past year
and how to build on that in the future. The only slight
problem is that as a mother of two young children, I am
often harried, pulled in six different directions, and
ready for a nap. Knowing that many others feel the
I
AS THE BUSTLE OF
THE CHAGIM HAS
PASSED AND CHANUKAH
NOW APPROACHES,
I’VE BEEN REFLECTING
ON THE MOMENTS I’VE
FELT A SENSE OF
BELONGING IN THE
PAST YEAR AND HOW
TO BUILD ON THAT
IN THE FUTURE.
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same way, I reached out to fellow mothers for their
ideas on how to build a sense of friendship and
community. One underlying theme that surfaced was
that most of us want more connection and closer
relationships with one another. When we feel part of
something greater than ourselves, it leads to profound
and lasting gratitude.
An active woman in our community told me about a
a group of women that learn together she helped
organize while her kids were still growing up. To be
fair, she said, the group was not created to be a support
network. Rather, it was an opportunity for young
mothers to carve out personal time each week to work
on their relationship with Hashem. However, an
incredible byproduct of the group was the amazing
connections she forged with other women. She said,
“The first goal was to help me learn how to grow and
strengthen myself in emunah and bitachon, but the
group was so amazing. We helped each other, shared
triumphs and failures and encouraged one another. It
was so nice to be with other women, all working on
these deep, intense topics together. The group was
supposed to connect me to Hashem, but the communi-
ty of women that were there enhanced that process.
While a group is a powerful way to grow together, we
also need time to simply hang out and enjoy each
others company. A friend of mine talked about a
monthly shalosh seudos she started for young mothers
in her neighborhood. Every month, women who already
know each other and women who have never met yet,
come together in her apartment to meet, talk, and eat
without distractions (kids over the age of one stay home
with their lucky fathers!). It’s an incredible way to meet
new mothers and spend time with old friends. When I
asked her why she started the tradition, she explained
“I started it as a social outlet for young moms to get out
of the house and relax.” We talked about how mother-
hood can be lonely, even though we’re all doing the
same thing. Between everyone’s nap schedules, feeding
schedules, and moments of sheer chaos, it can be
almost impossible to coordinate times to meet. Even
then, the idea of meeting and multiplying the number of
children in one area, can be overwhelming. Finding a
way to temporarily step away from everything and take
a break together was of utmost importance to my
friend.
There were other ideas and experiences that inspired
me as well. Another friend of mine told me about a time
when she first moved to Chicago and still didn't have
many connections there. A woman introduced herself
to my friend at a kiddush and asked if she would be
interested in coming over for Shabbos, to which my
friend replied in the affirmative. Since that first
Shabbos invitation about six and a half years ago, her
hostess has called at least once a month, asking her
(and her now growing family) to come join her for
Shabbos, Yom Tov, or a simcha. This has meant the
world to my friend. “It’s one thing to make an offer, yet
another to follow through. When you are a newcomer to
a community, sometimes you need that encouragement
and commitment to begin (what can be) extraordinary
and long-lasting relationships.”
On Chanukah, we celebrate Hashem’s gift to us in a
challenging time. A seemingly insignificant amount of
oil for our Temple’s menorah gave us light for an
incredible eight days. I wonder if a strong community
has the same miraculous effect. I love the quote from
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein’s book Aleinu L’Shabei’ach, in
which the Ran [Rabbi Yosef Shaul Nathanson, the Rav of
Lvov] showers praise on the tzibbur, the community as
a whole. When people join together, he says, the lack
within each individual disappears. Without the exten-
sive preparations and large seudahs of the chagim on
our minds now, perhaps we can use the time to contem-
plate what we can do to become a more tight-knit
community, whether big or small. We may, then, find
ourselves getting through the day better than we
previously did, untimely songs from our children and
all.
fyi
WE TALKED ABOUT
HOW MOTHERHOOD CAN
BE LONELY, EVEN
THOUGH WE’RE ALL
DOING THE SAME
THING. BETWEEN
EVERYONE’S NAP
SCHEDULES, FEEDING
SCHEDULES, AND
MOMENTS OF SHEER
CHAOS, IT CAN BE
ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE
TO COORDINATE
TIMES TO MEET.
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FINDING
SUPPORT
IN MENTAL
HEALTH
Imagine a lone surfer on the ocean being swept by
the current, about to sink. Or imagine a climber about
to fall off a cliff. Now imagine how vital a lifesaving
measure would be at that time.
WRITTEN BY CHANI SCHWARTZ
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CHAVI’S STORY:
“I grew up with a very abusive father. On the outside, things seemed pretty normal, therefore not many people were privy
to what was going on. By the time I reached my teens, my self-loathing and self-image had hit rock bottom. I was on a
mission to be the exact opposite of the way my parents behaved, not wanting to associate myself with them in any way. I
thought that would curb the inner void. It didn’t make a dent. One thing led to another, and I descended into a spiral of epi-
sodes of depression, hospitalizations, and even attempts at self-destruction. Those were the most tumultuous years of my
life, to put it mildly. I wanted to get help but couldn’t make full use of it, as I didn’t believe I was worthy of walking the
streets like the rest of society. Until Hashem sent two special people into my life- two friends that made me feel real again.
They made me believe I was worth something. My therapists kept telling me that my father’s abuse was not my fault, but
until those two friends made the sun shine again, I could not hear it. They made me believe I had the ability to get through
all the grief. I heard ‘you are an amazing individual’ and for the first time, I actually dared to believe it! Those two were
no trained therapists; they just reached out with empathy and warmth. They included me in their lives, and gently let me
include them in mine. Their little acts of kindness made me open up and receive all the help and direction the excellent
therapists had to offer.
CHAVI’S MESSAGE: “If you have a family member or friend that is struggling with a mental health issue, know
that she did not choose it. Be aware that you don’t have to cure her; just be a regular friend. Know that
beneath those layers there is often so much talent and potential. Help her bring it forth. With just a call once
or twice a week, you can let the sun into her life again!
T
he purpose of this article is to
shed light on the many individu-
als that are struggling with an
emotional or mental health disorder
and are brave enough to face it, and
get the help they need. The life of an
individual or a family member of
someone struggling with such issues
is extremely lonely. Often, these
people go through great measures to
keep things under wraps for fear of
stigma and shame. Imagine dealing
with a crippling disease or watching
a loved one suffer, and on top of that,
having to worry about the public’s
reaction.
The good news is that there is
support out there, and there is a way
to offer the shoulder so many
desperately need.
As we explore this topic, we will
hear from those in pain as well as
their therapists, and we will come
away with a newfound perception
and empowerment. Those in need
will know that there is support, and
the ones who want to offer that
support will know that any small
step makes a difference!
ENTER THEIR WORLD
Some of the brave individuals who
are battling the stormy seas of
mental and emotional issues, or are
supporting their spouses, have
agreed to share their stories.
WE ALL FACE CHALLENGES AT ONE
POINT OR ANOTHER.
At the depth of turmoil, we all know how
essential it is to have the support of those
close to us. Some people face this kind of
turmoil daily, and we can make a difference in
how they are able to navigate it all.
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GITTY’S STORY
“I have personally battled depression, and have
watched my own child fight with that, too. It was
super painful to go through it myself, but seeing a
child in that same pain is excruciating. This is an
extremely lonely disease, and so many times those
around you are not even aware of it. Support and care
is crucial. Although I did not receive adequate
support from my immediate family, my relatives and
friends stepped in to take their place. They were
critical in getting me through those rough times. I
know I would never have managed to get through
without them. Those calls and hospital visits were a
light in the dark time of my life. With that knowledge,
I was able to be there for my child and give him the
support he needed.”
GITTY’S MESSAGE: You cannot underestimate
what your small acts of kindness can do to ease
the anguish. Even small but tangible help goes
such a long way. My friends would send a child
to babysit, help me shop for clothes when I
couldn’t focus, or take my credit card and buy
stuff for me. They would also make calls I
couldn’t make at that time. Do your part,
however small, and know that you are making a
tremendous difference!”
ILANA’S STORY:
“I was diagnosed with chronic depression ten years ago.
You cannot imagine how lonely that is. You’re sitting on
the floor in your bedroom and crying, and you cannot even
explain why. You did not choose this and cannot just ‘snap
out of it.’ My personal yeshuah was Chazkeinu, an
organization offering support to those struggling with the
same kinds of issues as the ones I was facing. Support
from those who have struggled with similar issues is an
essential element in maneuvering through that dizzying
maze of mental illness. Knowing that others are experienc-
ing the same dilemma, the same challenge, the same pain,
is liberating. Speaking to those people gets me out of the
shadows, and restores the feeling that I am ‘normal’ and
dealing with somewhat ‘normal’ questions. When I am
able to implement other people’s suggestions, I feel part of
a group. Listening to stories shared by my peers helps me
realize how important different kinds of interventions are
and what might be additionally helpful. Those support
calls have helped me control my initial reactions of
self-blame and guilt. I am validated, my hard work is
validated, and my concerns are not brushed away. It
makes me feel like my pain is halved.
ILANA’S MESSAGE: If you know of someone who is
struggling with the above, lend her a shoulder.
Direct her to a support network, so she can feel like
she is not alone.
MINDY’S STORY:
“I live in Stamford Hill, England. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and married a man who was emotionally
abusive under a layer of charming friendliness. During the first three years of my marriage, I didn’t focus too much on his
behavior, as I was in therapy to address my own challenges. As I healed, little by little, my self-confidence grew, and I was
able to face the situation. I quickly realized that his behavior was far from normal. It was hindering my progress, as his
constant demeaning comments were infusing me with self-doubt all over again. Getting help, however, was no simple
matter. I consulted with numerous marriage counselors, but they failed to see him for who he really was, and blamed me for
being too negative. It was beyond traumatic as my still fragile self-perception was shattered again and again. After five
tumultuous years, a marriage counselor admitted that this problem was beyond his expertise, and referred my husband to a
psychiatrist. At the time I was elated, but on the day of the evaluation, I was a nervous wreck. I myself was compromised
emotionally, and now I had to deal with my husband’s issues, too. I was full of fear. The only thing that kept me going was
the support of my family and friends. My husband did get the help he needed, with tons of Siyata Dishmaya. I will never
forget the kindness my friends showed me at that time.”
MINDY’S MESSAGE: “If you are facing a similar challenge with yourself or a loved one, know that Hashem is always
with you. I personally found Tehilim to be a tremendous support. So many of the verses quoted Dovid Hamel-
ech’s isolation, and I found solace in these pages.If you know anyone suffering from mental illness or someone
whose spouse is struggling with it, treat that person like a regular individual. Offer support just as in a medical
crisis. It’s needed just as much, if not more.
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THERAPISTS WEIGH IN
We asked several therapists how
they believe support has made a
difference in their clients’ recovery.
Mirel Goldstein, psychotherapist in
Clifton, NJ, frequently writes and
lectures about mental health issues.
Her blog can be found on her website
(goldsteintherapy.com).
“When people are struggling
with a mental health issue or some
type of inner distress, having
support can make all the differ-
ence. We often underestimate how
much social support can help a
person move from being over-
whelmed by feelings of depression
or anxiety (or other mental health
issues) to healthy coping. Support
can be the difference between
those who are feeling that symp-
toms are just a small part of their
life vs. feeling completely defined
or overwhelmed by them. When
stigma or fear of opening up to
others gets in the way of asking for
help and utilizing a support
system, a simple problem that can
be managed and treated turns into
a big issue that interferes with
functioning, relationships, and an
entire sense of self.
“Many clients feel so much better
when they are able to open up to
others. Talking can dissolve a
whole lot of distress! While
confiding in a therapist may be a
first step, learning to identify
additional safe people to lean on is
often a crucial next step in devel-
oping a support system. There are
many ways to utilize support, such
as sharing struggles with family
members, going to support groups
(or using anonymous support
groups online if “in-person” doesn't
feel right), talking to their doctors,
and getting involved with friends
and community. Having a mental
health struggle or a family member
struggling with it does not preclude
continuing to live a full life and
expressing one’s essence, creativi-
ty, and gifts! Being afraid to accept
support usually puts a person at
more risk for being overtaken by
challenges.
Different types of support are
available, so there is usually
something for everyone. One of my
favorite resources is "Caring
Contacts" where you can text a
counselor 24/7 if you need a
listening ear. This is non-threaten-
ing, anonymous, and talking by
text can be less scary than calling a
crisis hotline or calling someone
on the phone.
She ends with an important
warning:
“It's also important to make sure
that the people in your support
network are validating rather than
dismissive, and will support your
efforts to get help. Unfortunately,
sometimes family members are
subconsciously invested in
sabotaging or undermining a
person's efforts to get help, and
this can make things so much
harder. A therapist can help you
learn to differentiate between
supportive and helpful resources
vs. those that are unhelpful.
Avi Feldman, therapist in Baltimore
A mental health issue can be
pretty scary for some individuals.
It has been stigmatized for so
many years, that admitting and
seeking help can be a challenge.
When seeking help, it is vital for
the client to surround himself with
family and friends who will
become his support system during
the therapy process. In my clinical
experience, this is a crucial aspect,
as these clients are more likely to
demonstrate progress.
In my practice, I had a client
named Ralph* who was struggling
with addiction throughout the
previous few years. He kept
relapsing after only 2 or 3 months
on the program. As he began
We often
underestimate how
much social support
can help a person
move from being
overwhelmed by
feelings of depression
or anxiety
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therapy during his most recent
time in recovery, he surrounded
himself with his family, a sponsor,
and a positive support network. He
stated how much of a difference it
made to have loved ones being
there for him; it was like they were
fighting the battle together.
There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ in
treatment and recovery, but one
that is always crucial is to have a
positive network of support. These
people can encourage and act as a
sounding board when the therapist
is not accessible, and can often be
the determining factor between a
relapse or a depressive episode.
CHAZKEINU –
PULLING IT ALL TOGETHER:
This is the answer to those who
are looking for support, or looking
to support a loved one.
Chazkeinu (Hebrew for “our
strength) is a peer-led organiza-
tion that gives chizuk (strength) to
all Jewish women who either have
a mental illness, or a family
member who does. The empathetic
support and positive connection
provided are vital components in
helping them feel safe, understood,
and uplifted amidst their struggles.
These things are offered through a
variety of programs, projects, and
networks that cater to the mental
health needs of each individual.
I first heard of Chazkeinu when a
friend who is struggling with a
mentally ill spouse told me about
it. I was immediately intrigued.
Zahava, the co-founder of Chaz-
keinu, has been through the
wringer, and is willing to use her
experience to help educate and
provide support. She kindly agreed
to be interviewed and explain what
the organization has to offer. As we
began our conversation, I picked up
on her compassion and her
willingness to do anything to reach
people with mental or emotional
illness across the board.
“It all started with postpartum
psychosis,” she began. “I was 23,
and had no prior mental illness. It
was a new and frightening reality. I
was pretty lost in this new whirl-
wind. I had a friend that knew
what was going on, and encour-
aged me to go seek treatment,
telling me that she had gone
through something similar. That
was an eye-opener to me, and the
relief that I wasn’t the only one
stayed with me and fueled my
decision to later go public.
“I was pretty isolated,” she
continued. “Some close friends and
family didn’t want me to meet too
many people, for fear that they
would find out what was going on.
She said the reality of the bipolar
diagnosis, with its accompanying
isolation, ate away at her.
As I received the right help and
got my life back together, I moved
back to my childhood community.
I knew there might be some raised
eyebrows and whispering. I made
the decision to be very open about
it.”
Zahava has a healthy and
refreshing approach to the entire
issue. She compared it to a stain on
her shirt:
“I had two options,” she ex-
plained. “I could either walk
around, knowing I had a ‘stain on
my shirt,’ and feel self-conscious
about it, or I could casually
mention my stain and be relieved
that I don’t have to hide it. That’s
what I did.
She soon noticed a very interest-
ing development. The more open
she was with her peers, the more
they opened up to her about their
own experiences with mental
illness. It soon became apparent
that there were many people out
there that could benefit from a
support system.
“I was involved in OA – a support
network for people with eating
disorders, at one point,” Zahava
explained, “and I wished there
could be something similar for
those who are struggling with
mental illness. I also heard about a
support network for women facing
other issues, and the idea seemed
to take shape. Shortly after that, a
friend confided in me about a
family member who was living with
mental illness, and that made me
realize that family members are
also in need of support, and there is
so much that can be shared when
we connect with each other.
Through hashgacha, Zahava was
able to meet two other likeminded
women going through mental
illness, and they founded Chaz-
keinu together. They wanted it to
be similar in anonymity to a
12-step program for addiction or
eating disorders – where everyone
was comfortable sharing, as it was
all kept strictly confidential.
“This is a peer support group,
she noted. “Chazkeinu is meant to
be an addition to professional help.
We are here to encourage one
another as we go through the pain
of facing our issues and dealing
with them. This group is strictly
for women only. We invite all
Jewish women of any age or level
of observance. Our message is: The
stigma stops here! There is no
shame in admitting you have a
problem, or in getting help.
Hashem gives each person his/her
own set of challenges. We have
mental health issues, but as long as
we face them and take care of
them, there is nothing to be
embarrassed about! On the
contrary, we can only grow from
them!”
“The lengths that people go to, to
hide it from others makes the
challenges so much harder,” she
added. “I can understand not
wanting to be loud about it, but
denying myself the support I sorely
need? What a shame!”
There is a myth that people with
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mental or emotional health issues
are not self-aware, and that scares
people. Having interviewed many
courageous women for this article,
I was struck at how inaccurate this
is. I found these women so self-
aware; with the Chazkeinu phone
meetings that include a profession-
al speaker or those sharing their
personal stories, participants can
have the tools to deal with stress
effectively, even pre Yom Tov
stress. Their candidness and
awareness was eye-opening.
I asked Zahava to walk me
through the types of services
Chazkeinu provides:
“We launched our organization
on March 7, 2016. We are open to
any Jewish woman from all walks
of life with mental or emotional
illness, and anyone struggling with
a family member in that situation.
It is not age restricted. We have
two phone meetings a week. We
generally have mental health
professionals talk for about 20
minutes, or a member sharing her
story. We then open up the floor
for discussions or questions. We
always have a moderator on the
call, and we ensure that all is
anonymous and safe. For those
who want to listen to the speeches,
we do record them and can provide
a number of them to be listened to
later on. We do not record the
discussions or questions, to
provide the maximum feeling of
security and anonymity to our
members. Our meetings take place
on Monday and Wednesday. It is in
the evening on Monday, but on
Wednesday we do it at 1pm
(eastern time), to allow interna-
tional listeners to join us.
We also have a partner support
service, where we pair up two
women so they can encourage each
other. We set them up according to
their preference (age, location etc.).
This has helped tremendously, as
one can encourage the other when
she is not doing so well. We also
have a general member list.
Anyone who would like to send or
receive calls to members can
request that. We also have a
davening list; anyone who wishes
can put her name onto that, too. It
is a great opportunity to connect in
a spiritual way. ‘When we pray for
others in a similar situation,
Hashem answers our prayers!’ It
also empo