MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
APPROX. READING TIME: 3 min, 45 secs.
Grades 3-5:
The (Actual)
True story of
Hiawatha (™
©
®
)
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
All the other versions are fake
And so, our story begins. I, Hiawatha had
lived a happy life, until I met the Onondaga
tribe. I became one of the many Onondaga
warriors, led by the evil chief, Tadodaho.
For many years, we had been fighting all
the other tribes: Mohawk, Seneca, Cayuga,
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
and Oneida. One day, after many years of
fighting, I just couldn’t stand it anymore.
I got up very early and tried to step as
little and softly as I could. As I passed our
Chieftain’s hut, I veered away. I had no
desire to meet him in person. Some even
said that he had dark magic! I didn’t
believe them, though. As I got farther away,
morning came. I could hear the shouts of
my comrades yelling. I was well known,
being one of the best warriors in the camp.
I heard them running out, trying to find
me. I sprinted as fast as I could until I
couldn’t run anymore.
I was thirsty, so I listened for the sound of
rushing water. I walked a little further,
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
coming to the edge of a river and beyond it,
a lake. As I came closer, I spotted a large
white Canoe glinting in the sun, with a
person in it. When he began paddling
towards me, I saw it was made of stone!
The man began to talk to me:
Ummmm... I am the great Peacemaker,
and uhhh… I have come to unite the 5
tribes, also known as “The Great law of
peace.” It is a law stating that we must not
fight.” He was not a good speaker. As he
said that, his Canoe was pushed by the
water onto the shore.
“How can I believe you?” I asked.
“I am magic.” “How else would I be
traveling in a stone canoe or able to do
this?” He asked, making a piece of
driftwood fly over our heads.
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
“Okay, okay, I believe you,” I said.
“Good,” “You are an Onondaga warrior,
uhhh… am I right?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Then you uhhh… must know that
Tadodaho has dark magic,” he said.
“W-What?” I asked.
“Yep,” said the Peacemaker. At that
moment, a flash of light illuminated the
forest and lake.
“Oh No!” yelled the Peacemaker.
“What just happened?” I asked.
“Tadodaho just teleported to another
camp!”
“What?” I asked.
“Yep,” said the Peacemaker.
 
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
“We must stop him!” I yelled. All of a
sudden, another flash of light illuminated
the forest and lake.
“Oh No!” yelled the Peacemaker.
“What just happened?” I asked.
“Tadodaho just came back!”
“What?” I asked.
“Yep,” said the Peacemaker.
“We must stop him!” I yelled. A few
minutes later (If 30 counts as a few,)
we were back at the Onondaga camp. As
we snuck in, we saw Tadodaho
distributing more bow and arrows. The
Peacemaker said gravely:
“They uhhh… plan to kill us.”
As Tadodaho was leaving, we heard him
say
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
“Use them wisely. If you even think
about killing me… Well, just don’t.” With
that, he pulled out a humongous bow and
looked his warriors over one last time
before leaving. When he was gone, the
Peacemaker said
“Shh, I’m going to uhhh… use some
magic.”
“Okay…” I said. But, before I could
finish, he was floating in the air, saying
something I couldn’t understand. It
sounded like:
“Abracadabra!” All at once, the
Warriors said
“Yes, master.”
“Oh No!” said the Peacemaker. At that
moment, the warriors began to march
towards Tadodaho saying
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
“Kill Tadodaho!, Kill Tadodaho!”
“Oh no times two!” said the Peacemaker.
“They also uhhh... want to kill Tadodaho!”
“What’s wrong with that?” I asked
“Um, hello: “Great law of uhhh…
Peace
””
the Peacemaker said.
“Awww...” I said.
“We must stop them!” the Peacemaker
said.
“Tooooooo late,” I said, as the warriors
began to shoot at Tadodaho with bow and
arrows.
“Ow! Ow!” Tadodaho said, as they
whizzed by him, which seemed strange
because nothing had hit him yet. When an
arrow finally hit him, he didn’t say
anything. He just looked happy and fell
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
over. All of a sudden, blood began to pool
around him
“Kill Tadodaho!” the warriors yelled and
began jumping on him. The Peacemaker
yelled another thing that sounded like
“Kapow!”. The warriors stopped and
went to sleep. The Peacemaker ran over to
Tadodaho and said:
“I will uhhh… heal you, but only if you
promise to help and not destroy.”
“Uhh… Okaaaaay,” Tadodaho said.
Then, the Peacemaker said
“Badabadoom!” Tadodaho began to
float. Then, Tadodaho turned into an
Eagle. Suddenly, we heard twigs snapping
and a bunch of warriors wearing pants of
any color imaginable. BLUE pants, YELLOW
pants, PURPLE pants, and more. Warriors
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
from different tribes began loading their
bow and arrows and fired. Luckily, the
Peacemaker and Tadodaho somehow
managed to stop the arrows. (Or at least I
thought that it was them) by chanting:
“La, la, la, lee!” over and over and over
and over and… well, you get the point.
The Peacemaker yelled
“Stop! Tadodaho is uhhh… gone!” The
Eagle began screeching angrily. The other
tribes began saying
“Whaa? Whaa?” Then, the tribes saw
Tadodaho was nowhere in sight.
“YAAAAAAAY!” They yelled. At that, the
Eagle flew away. We all agreed to bury our
weapons under a “Tree of peacewhatever
that means The Eagle sat on the tree of
MINE IS TRUE! EVERYBODY ELSE'S IS FAKE!
peace and protected all of the tribes,
mainly by dropping stones on intruders…
So, I guess this is:
THE END!
(Of the Story,
not the world)