OCTOBER 2 0 1 6 ultimate yom tov recipes A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know YOM TOV HOSTING MADE EASY /// LIVING WITH ALOPECIA /// GORGEOUS SUKKAH DECOR REAL LIFE: A young teenager’s fight for every breath 14 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR KIDS ENTERTAINED OVER VACATION HOW TO APPLY MAKEUP that will stay on the entire Yom Tov sukkos special 36 PAGE WINE SUPPLEMENT A guide to wine pairing • Interviews with Wine Makers and Sommeliers US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99
OCTOBER 2 0 1 6  ultimate  yom tov recipes A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know  YOM TOV HOSTING MADE EASY     LIVING WITH ALOPE...
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART & MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor COVER PHOTO Shevy Gross @shevygphotography MANAGING EDITOR Darlene Fedele ADVERTISING judy@fyimagazineny.com WEBSITE: www.fyimagazineny.com E-MAIL: ads@fyimagazineny.com AD DEADLINES November Issue: October 28th FUNCTIONAL B E A U T I F U L The illustration is for visual purposes only PHONE: 718.412.2442 The Best at Schneller Published by FYI Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. FYI Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. Merom Yerushalayim magically combines the dreams of every homeowner: serenity, luxury, and sanctity. You are invited to step into the pastoral oasis nestled right off the bustling streets of Geulah. 732.367.7515 205 CEDAR BRIDGE AVE | LAKEWOOD, NJ SALES@ICONPLUMBING.COM WWW.ICONPLUMBING.COM Tel: 074-7333733 | U.S.A: +1-718-732-3609 E-mail: sales@sun-chen.co.il | www.meromyerushalayim.com SUN GROUP Exclusive Realtors
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART   MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor COVER PHOTO Sh...
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART & MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor COVER PHOTO Shevy Gross @shevygphotography MANAGING EDITOR Darlene Fedele ADVERTISING judy@fyimagazineny.com WEBSITE: www.fyimagazineny.com E-MAIL: ads@fyimagazineny.com AD DEADLINES November Issue: October 28th FUNCTIONAL B E A U T I F U L The illustration is for visual purposes only PHONE: 718.412.2442 The Best at Schneller Published by FYI Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. FYI Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. Merom Yerushalayim magically combines the dreams of every homeowner: serenity, luxury, and sanctity. You are invited to step into the pastoral oasis nestled right off the bustling streets of Geulah. 732.367.7515 205 CEDAR BRIDGE AVE | LAKEWOOD, NJ SALES@ICONPLUMBING.COM WWW.ICONPLUMBING.COM Tel: 074-7333733 | U.S.A: +1-718-732-3609 E-mail: sales@sun-chen.co.il | www.meromyerushalayim.com SUN GROUP Exclusive Realtors
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART   MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor COVER PHOTO Sh...
35 OCTOBER 2016 CONTENTS 06 | We Hear You 08 | Our Finds 10 | Your Voice #JoinTheDiscussion What is your biggest accomplishment? 111 | What's in my...? Travelling Classroom with Amalia Hass Beauty Guide Alopecia: An Uphill Battle 35 | IN SESSION My Siblings Don't Watch Their Kids 38 | REAL LIFE A young woman's battle with Cystic Fibrosis 43 | HOW THEY DID IT Beautifull Boutique: Making Big Beautiful 47 | FOCUS ON AN ORGANIZATION A Lifelong Mission: The importance of Life Insurance 13 | FEEL AT HOME In Your Sukkah 16 | DIY Floating Glass Flower Globes 18 | MAKEUP MAVEN Long Lasting Yom Tov Makeup 21 | FASHION FINDS Dresses, Dresses, Dresses Love Your Life 27 | TIPPING THE SCALE Get A Handle On It 51 | MOM TIPS Activities for Yom Tov Vacation 56 | TAKE A BREAK Busy Women Share Their Tips 59 | MARKETING INSIGHTS How Much Should I Spend On Google Ads? 61 | 5 WAYS TO Cut Erev Yom Tov Expenses How to not gain weight over Yom Tov. Featured 66 | REALITY CHECK Are there toxic chemicals in the products you use everyday? 74 | CHOOSING TO LOVE 18 21 31 | HEALTH TALK The ins and out of adoption and why it may be the right option for you. 80 | THE HOSTEST WITH THE MOSTEST Being her and Being Hosted by her Sharpen Your Appetite 88 | DELICIOUS YOM TOV COOKING! Pistachio Pesto Salmon 90 | Roasted Turkey with Asian Plum Sauce 92 | Quinoa Sushi Salad 94 | Overnight Pulled Beef & Pull Apart Potato Rings 96 | Strawberry Napolean 98 | ALL THINGS KITCHEN Pots and Pans Must Haves You Gotta Know 101 | ASK THE ORGANIZER Hosting Made Easy 104 | YOU GOTTA KNOW 105 | TRIED & TESTED The best pillow for you 106 | MAGIC HELPERS Ingenious products that make your day easier. 108 | FOR LESS Table Sukkah Decor 110 | BOOK REVIEW Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets out of Control
35  OCTOBER 2016  CONTENTS 06    We  Hear You  08    Our  Finds  10    Your  Voice   JoinTheDiscussion What is your bigges...
35 OCTOBER 2016 CONTENTS 06 | We Hear You 08 | Our Finds 10 | Your Voice #JoinTheDiscussion What is your biggest accomplishment? 111 | What's in my...? Travelling Classroom with Amalia Hass Beauty Guide Alopecia: An Uphill Battle 35 | IN SESSION My Siblings Don't Watch Their Kids 38 | REAL LIFE A young woman's battle with Cystic Fibrosis 43 | HOW THEY DID IT Beautifull Boutique: Making Big Beautiful 47 | FOCUS ON AN ORGANIZATION A Lifelong Mission: The importance of Life Insurance 13 | FEEL AT HOME In Your Sukkah 16 | DIY Floating Glass Flower Globes 18 | MAKEUP MAVEN Long Lasting Yom Tov Makeup 21 | FASHION FINDS Dresses, Dresses, Dresses Love Your Life 27 | TIPPING THE SCALE Get A Handle On It 51 | MOM TIPS Activities for Yom Tov Vacation 56 | TAKE A BREAK Busy Women Share Their Tips 59 | MARKETING INSIGHTS How Much Should I Spend On Google Ads? 61 | 5 WAYS TO Cut Erev Yom Tov Expenses How to not gain weight over Yom Tov. Featured 66 | REALITY CHECK Are there toxic chemicals in the products you use everyday? 74 | CHOOSING TO LOVE 18 21 31 | HEALTH TALK The ins and out of adoption and why it may be the right option for you. 80 | THE HOSTEST WITH THE MOSTEST Being her and Being Hosted by her Sharpen Your Appetite 88 | DELICIOUS YOM TOV COOKING! Pistachio Pesto Salmon 90 | Roasted Turkey with Asian Plum Sauce 92 | Quinoa Sushi Salad 94 | Overnight Pulled Beef & Pull Apart Potato Rings 96 | Strawberry Napolean 98 | ALL THINGS KITCHEN Pots and Pans Must Haves You Gotta Know 101 | ASK THE ORGANIZER Hosting Made Easy 104 | YOU GOTTA KNOW 105 | TRIED & TESTED The best pillow for you 106 | MAGIC HELPERS Ingenious products that make your day easier. 108 | FOR LESS Table Sukkah Decor 110 | BOOK REVIEW Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets out of Control
35  OCTOBER 2016  CONTENTS 06    We  Hear You  08    Our  Finds  10    Your  Voice   JoinTheDiscussion What is your bigges...
we you! Tuscanini Why More Families Are SEPTEMBER 2016 LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME: MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know... PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER’S TIPS FOR A BETTER SCHOOL YEAR Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-starched uniforms the night before school begins, happily anticipating meeting up with their friends the next day. We tend to think of students lining up to board the yellow school buses, PREP AHEAD! chatting animatedly and comparing summer adventures. New schoolbags and crisp notebooks, slightly nervous teachers and New Delicious Yom Tov Recipes Gorgeous Outfits for Yom Tov REAL LIFE: AN UNEXPECTED CHALLENGE BEFALLS NEWLYWEDS WHAT DOES YOUR HANDWRITING SAY ABOUT YOU? mothers signal the start of a new school year. N BACK TO SCHOOL ITEMS THAT GIVE BACK 56 | fyimagazineny.com 57 | fyimagazineny.com THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE INSIGHTS ON VISION RELATED LEARNING PROBLEMS BEFORE AFTER T 16 WAYS US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99 TO STAY IN VACATION MODE o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had a fireplace, our vision was to make that the focal point for the dining room. First, we refaced the fireplace by chiseling off the stone, and framed in the surrounding wall with drywall to make a smooth surface. Then we created a frame around the opening of the fireplace using noncombustible porcelain tile. Finally, we chose a stunning metallic silver swirl finish that set the tone for a striking contrast against the black focal wall. Next, we gutted the two storage closets that stood on either side of the focal wall to create space for a washing station and built-in china cabinet. The idea was to have no bulky furniture in the room, leaving open space to add more tables for entertaining. Since our goal was to create a light and airy feel for the room, we mirrored the back and sides of the cabinet and used glass doors and shelves. This created the look of dynamic, floating shelves within the china cabinet. To maintain that light and airy feel, and prevent any feelings of being closed in or confined, we installed clear glass French doors. These served a dual purpose. One was to close off the room when not in use, and the other was to add texture to the black and white dining room. These doors stood in two walls, one leading to the kitchen and the other to the main house. Brushed-nickel handles were the perfect unobtrusive accent to the doors and room as a whole. We then focused on the flooring. To complement the black focal wall, we chose to install glossy, black hardwood floors. We used a custom-colored semi-gloss finish that was a mix of brown, gray, and black, to create a dramatic, deep rich color. We wanted to protect the dining room floor from heavy chair traffic and stop potential scratching, so the 16 | fyimagazineny.com practical solution was an area rug. The beautiful black rug we selected to place under the table provided a buffer between the chairs and floors, plus added more elements of texture to our design. The rug is constructed from individual carpet squares to make it easier to switch out if damaged or stained. Lighting was a very important consideration for this room. We wanted something that was different, that had a little glam, and was able to make just the right statement while perfectly illuminating this space. We chose a gorgeous rectangle chandelier to hang in the center of the room. This unique, metal string-wrapped item was filled with spectacular hanging crystals; it was love at first sight. Installed above the table, it made the perfect complement. We chose to do standard recessed lighting around the perimeter of the room, above the washing station, and in the china cabinet. The room was complete and ready to use. We fulfilled our goal of creating a new atmosphere without major construction. Instead, we changed elements of darkness and shadow into light and warmth. We transformed feelings of being closed in and confined, to the look and feeling of expansion and space. We turned a simple and homey family room into a seemingly larger and brighter space, combining functionality with a touch of elegance. Through our vision and simplicity, we have given this family a dining room they can now use to celebrate their most memorable and precious moments. fyi invite an I talian to coffe Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips. 17 | fyimagazineny.com guurtp raf ktrah ,p Thank you for a great magazine and a great read. Since I love your magazine so much, I thought it might be a great idea to do a men's magazine. Like newest technology gadgets, tools, clothing pics, and great men's food ideas. I think many would enjoy it. I found your article on I loved reading and homeschooling to be seeing the dining enlightening. My daughter room makeover and had a terrible year in the DIY project last school last year as a result month. It inspired of bullying. I tried talking me to make some to the bully, the parents, quick and easy the teachers and even the changes in my principals, but to no avail. I home. Now it looks didn’t even think of fresh and updated! Chaya T. homeschooling as an Keep ‘em coming. option, but now I am Sarah Tenenbaum PARVE PAS YISROEL strongly considering it. Anonymous C HO C O LAT E A LM O ND • C R A NB ER RY A LM O ND • A LM O N D D E L U X E e
we  you   Tuscanini Why More Families Are  SEPTEMBER 2016  LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME   MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Life...
we you! Tuscanini Why More Families Are SEPTEMBER 2016 LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME: MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know... PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER’S TIPS FOR A BETTER SCHOOL YEAR Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-starched uniforms the night before school begins, happily anticipating meeting up with their friends the next day. We tend to think of students lining up to board the yellow school buses, PREP AHEAD! chatting animatedly and comparing summer adventures. New schoolbags and crisp notebooks, slightly nervous teachers and New Delicious Yom Tov Recipes Gorgeous Outfits for Yom Tov REAL LIFE: AN UNEXPECTED CHALLENGE BEFALLS NEWLYWEDS WHAT DOES YOUR HANDWRITING SAY ABOUT YOU? mothers signal the start of a new school year. N BACK TO SCHOOL ITEMS THAT GIVE BACK 56 | fyimagazineny.com 57 | fyimagazineny.com THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE INSIGHTS ON VISION RELATED LEARNING PROBLEMS BEFORE AFTER T 16 WAYS US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99 TO STAY IN VACATION MODE o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had a fireplace, our vision was to make that the focal point for the dining room. First, we refaced the fireplace by chiseling off the stone, and framed in the surrounding wall with drywall to make a smooth surface. Then we created a frame around the opening of the fireplace using noncombustible porcelain tile. Finally, we chose a stunning metallic silver swirl finish that set the tone for a striking contrast against the black focal wall. Next, we gutted the two storage closets that stood on either side of the focal wall to create space for a washing station and built-in china cabinet. The idea was to have no bulky furniture in the room, leaving open space to add more tables for entertaining. Since our goal was to create a light and airy feel for the room, we mirrored the back and sides of the cabinet and used glass doors and shelves. This created the look of dynamic, floating shelves within the china cabinet. To maintain that light and airy feel, and prevent any feelings of being closed in or confined, we installed clear glass French doors. These served a dual purpose. One was to close off the room when not in use, and the other was to add texture to the black and white dining room. These doors stood in two walls, one leading to the kitchen and the other to the main house. Brushed-nickel handles were the perfect unobtrusive accent to the doors and room as a whole. We then focused on the flooring. To complement the black focal wall, we chose to install glossy, black hardwood floors. We used a custom-colored semi-gloss finish that was a mix of brown, gray, and black, to create a dramatic, deep rich color. We wanted to protect the dining room floor from heavy chair traffic and stop potential scratching, so the 16 | fyimagazineny.com practical solution was an area rug. The beautiful black rug we selected to place under the table provided a buffer between the chairs and floors, plus added more elements of texture to our design. The rug is constructed from individual carpet squares to make it easier to switch out if damaged or stained. Lighting was a very important consideration for this room. We wanted something that was different, that had a little glam, and was able to make just the right statement while perfectly illuminating this space. We chose a gorgeous rectangle chandelier to hang in the center of the room. This unique, metal string-wrapped item was filled with spectacular hanging crystals; it was love at first sight. Installed above the table, it made the perfect complement. We chose to do standard recessed lighting around the perimeter of the room, above the washing station, and in the china cabinet. The room was complete and ready to use. We fulfilled our goal of creating a new atmosphere without major construction. Instead, we changed elements of darkness and shadow into light and warmth. We transformed feelings of being closed in and confined, to the look and feeling of expansion and space. We turned a simple and homey family room into a seemingly larger and brighter space, combining functionality with a touch of elegance. Through our vision and simplicity, we have given this family a dining room they can now use to celebrate their most memorable and precious moments. fyi invite an I talian to coffe Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips. 17 | fyimagazineny.com guurtp raf ktrah ,p Thank you for a great magazine and a great read. Since I love your magazine so much, I thought it might be a great idea to do a men's magazine. Like newest technology gadgets, tools, clothing pics, and great men's food ideas. I think many would enjoy it. I found your article on I loved reading and homeschooling to be seeing the dining enlightening. My daughter room makeover and had a terrible year in the DIY project last school last year as a result month. It inspired of bullying. I tried talking me to make some to the bully, the parents, quick and easy the teachers and even the changes in my principals, but to no avail. I home. Now it looks didn’t even think of fresh and updated! Chaya T. homeschooling as an Keep ‘em coming. option, but now I am Sarah Tenenbaum PARVE PAS YISROEL strongly considering it. Anonymous C HO C O LAT E A LM O ND • C R A NB ER RY A LM O ND • A LM O N D D E L U X E e
we  you   Tuscanini Why More Families Are  SEPTEMBER 2016  LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME   MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Life...
our WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now! WHAT TO BUY PARDES & HEARTY have an awful lot in common Ingredients: @shevygphotography Shevy Gross Brooklyn based family, children, commercial, & food🍝photographer 🍲 2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil 1 lb. skinless chicken cutlets cut into bite size strips 1 package frozen Pardes Stir Fry Vegetables 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced 1/2 cup soy sauce 3 Tbsp. sugar Pinch of ground ginger 1 box spaghetti, cooked Mommy’s Asian Chicken Stir Fry Spaghetti By: Sarah Lasry Add the chicken strips to the hot skillet and cook for about 1 minute. 2. Add the stir fry vegetables and mix with the chicken and let cook in the pan. 3. When the chicken starts turning white (about 6 minutes from start), add the soy sauce, sugar and ginger. 4. Coat all the chicken & vegetable pieces well with the sauce and cover pan for about 4 minutes. Uncover pan occasionally and stir making sure the chicken is not sticking to pan and the soy sauce is not burning. 5. When chicken has been fully cooked, turn flame to low and add the spaghetti to the chicken, stir fry and soy sauce mixture. Using tongs fully coat the spaghetti with the soy and chicken stir fry mixture. If it seems too dry add more soy sauce to the spaghetti mixture and mix well. Serve hot. Serves: 5-8 Directions: 1. In a large skillet on med-high flame, heat the olive oil and garlic. @she_cooks_that Sarah Chana Gruskin Our Table; Time Tested Recipes, Memorable Meals A personal chef service serving the Lakewood and Deal communities artscroll.com, $31.49 Food stylist and recipe columnist Renee Muller's cookbook features her favorite dishes, each vividly presented with an art-quality full-color photo. WHERE TO PRINT… ...all those pictures on your phone! @styledbyestee Sticky 9 Starting at $15.99 Photo magnets, posters, and more Groovebook Starting at $2.99/ month, Get a book of your photos monthly! FreePrints Free! Get completely free photos monthly, just pay for shipping! Estee Stern Everyone deserves to look classy. 💃Personal & Commercial Stylist Available at your local supermarket For wholesale call: 845.356.4133
our  WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now   WHAT TO BUY  PARDES   HEARTY have an awful lot in common  Ingredients ...
our WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now! WHAT TO BUY PARDES & HEARTY have an awful lot in common Ingredients: @shevygphotography Shevy Gross Brooklyn based family, children, commercial, & food🍝photographer 🍲 2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil 1 lb. skinless chicken cutlets cut into bite size strips 1 package frozen Pardes Stir Fry Vegetables 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced 1/2 cup soy sauce 3 Tbsp. sugar Pinch of ground ginger 1 box spaghetti, cooked Mommy’s Asian Chicken Stir Fry Spaghetti By: Sarah Lasry Add the chicken strips to the hot skillet and cook for about 1 minute. 2. Add the stir fry vegetables and mix with the chicken and let cook in the pan. 3. When the chicken starts turning white (about 6 minutes from start), add the soy sauce, sugar and ginger. 4. Coat all the chicken & vegetable pieces well with the sauce and cover pan for about 4 minutes. Uncover pan occasionally and stir making sure the chicken is not sticking to pan and the soy sauce is not burning. 5. When chicken has been fully cooked, turn flame to low and add the spaghetti to the chicken, stir fry and soy sauce mixture. Using tongs fully coat the spaghetti with the soy and chicken stir fry mixture. If it seems too dry add more soy sauce to the spaghetti mixture and mix well. Serve hot. Serves: 5-8 Directions: 1. In a large skillet on med-high flame, heat the olive oil and garlic. @she_cooks_that Sarah Chana Gruskin Our Table; Time Tested Recipes, Memorable Meals A personal chef service serving the Lakewood and Deal communities artscroll.com, $31.49 Food stylist and recipe columnist Renee Muller's cookbook features her favorite dishes, each vividly presented with an art-quality full-color photo. WHERE TO PRINT… ...all those pictures on your phone! @styledbyestee Sticky 9 Starting at $15.99 Photo magnets, posters, and more Groovebook Starting at $2.99/ month, Get a book of your photos monthly! FreePrints Free! Get completely free photos monthly, just pay for shipping! Estee Stern Everyone deserves to look classy. 💃Personal & Commercial Stylist Available at your local supermarket For wholesale call: 845.356.4133
our  WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now   WHAT TO BUY  PARDES   HEARTY have an awful lot in common  Ingredients ...
get your #JoinTheDiscussion  WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT? “Surviving my childhood and my trophies.” Faigy Hirsch  “My biggest accomplishment is going to sleep after a long day, and feeling that I lived with Hashem and for Hashem all day.” M. Roth  “Winning my first trial!” Michelle Hagler  “Helping a child with autism learn to talk, and increasing their language and communication abilities.” Chaya Konig  “It's a joint accomplishment: Creating a mostly functional family with my husband, despite the fact that we both had highly dysfunctional upbringings.” Amanda Pompilli  “I lost 75 pounds... 18 months later, I saved a guy’s life by giving him my kidney.” Hindy Messinger  “Graduating law school and taking (and passing) the CAbar while pregnant with #7 ka”h.” Tova  “Leaving an abusive marriage and making sure my 5 kids were safe.” Shoshana Ahuva  “I was going to say my kids, or becoming religious, but as I get older my biggest accomplishment is my relationship with my husband. We have been through everything together, we constantly work on our relationship, and it reflects on everything else..” Debbie Ezra Question for next month: What is the sweetest thing that someone has ever done for you? Text your answer to (516)331.1885 The Happy Factor WRITTEN BY RABBI DAVID MENDELSOHN w IT HAPPENED ON a typical Friday morning, the streets were hustling and bustling; people and cars were rushing in all directions. I was also hurrying as I was coming down 15th Avenue in Brooklyn, attempting to get all my errands done. When I made a left turn onto 49th Street, I immediately regretted it as I found myself behind a long line of parked cars. A Hatzolah ambulance had stopped at the end of the block on an emergency call and was holding up the traffic. It all took less than 10 minutes, however the real-feel as a meteorologist would say, felt like an hour. I made a conscious decision not to get anxious about it, because as you may have figured out, like I did; frustration does not actually do anything to alleviate any situation. Finally, the patient was wheeled out on a stretcher and was quickly whisked away by Hatzolah members. Relieved to be free, I began inching forward in my car, when I heard a knock on the back of my minivan, followed by another seemingly desperate knock. I rolled down my window and saw a frantic, totally out of breath, middle aged couple, asking if I can give them a hitch. I attempted to dodge their request. “You don’t understand” they said with angsts, “It’s our daughter! She is the one in the ambulance! She’s on the way to the hospital - we ran as fast as we could to get here! We just need to be with our daughter. Please take us to Maimonides Hospital.” I signaled them to hop into my car and immediately attempted to calm them with words of hope, while making every effort to get there as quickly as possible. As we arrived, they thanked me profusely and rushed out of my car and headed off into the emergency room. As I was driving away, I felt like a ray of happiness was spreading in me. It seemed a bit odd as I was running late, stuck in traffic and ended up taking this couple; I should have felt frustrated or anxious. Quite the contrary! Something inside me just made me feel happy. It was one of those lightbulb moments where I thought I finally got it. If you want to feel happy, just go help a person in need. From something as mundane as holding a door for someone behind you, telling one a good word, to helping out a person in despair. Every day, as part of davening we recite Eilu Devarim, where the Mishnah equates learning Torah and Gemilas Chasodim, as bearing no limits on how much of these deeds one can perform. Just like Torah brings happiness to one’s heart, so does chesed bring happiness to one’s heart. I came across this Chinese saying recently: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Sukkos is here, and interestingly, Hashem commanded us “three” times to be happy throughout Sukkos: ‫ושמחת‬ ’‫ ושמחתם לפני ד‬,‫ והיית אך שמח‬,‫בחגך‬ ‫אלקיכם‬. For the following three reasons: first, we were blessed with a good new year on Rosh Hashanah, and second, our sins were forgiven on Yom Kippur. Finally, the third reason is because Sukkos is also called ‫“ חג האסיף‬the harvest festival”. It is a time when the farmers would collect all the grain and fruit from their fields, and then realize their wealth. The message is clear; we just need to count our blessings and we’ll be able to achieve happiness and joy. Troubling times though, can sometimes make it difficult to live with gratitude. Here’s the way to jump start it. Just try to do one chesed. Make someone else happy and joy will come right back at you. fyi
get  your  JoinTheDiscussion       WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT      Surviving my childhood and my trophies.    Fai...
get your #JoinTheDiscussion  WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT? “Surviving my childhood and my trophies.” Faigy Hirsch  “My biggest accomplishment is going to sleep after a long day, and feeling that I lived with Hashem and for Hashem all day.” M. Roth  “Winning my first trial!” Michelle Hagler  “Helping a child with autism learn to talk, and increasing their language and communication abilities.” Chaya Konig  “It's a joint accomplishment: Creating a mostly functional family with my husband, despite the fact that we both had highly dysfunctional upbringings.” Amanda Pompilli  “I lost 75 pounds... 18 months later, I saved a guy’s life by giving him my kidney.” Hindy Messinger  “Graduating law school and taking (and passing) the CAbar while pregnant with #7 ka”h.” Tova  “Leaving an abusive marriage and making sure my 5 kids were safe.” Shoshana Ahuva  “I was going to say my kids, or becoming religious, but as I get older my biggest accomplishment is my relationship with my husband. We have been through everything together, we constantly work on our relationship, and it reflects on everything else..” Debbie Ezra Question for next month: What is the sweetest thing that someone has ever done for you? Text your answer to (516)331.1885 The Happy Factor WRITTEN BY RABBI DAVID MENDELSOHN w IT HAPPENED ON a typical Friday morning, the streets were hustling and bustling; people and cars were rushing in all directions. I was also hurrying as I was coming down 15th Avenue in Brooklyn, attempting to get all my errands done. When I made a left turn onto 49th Street, I immediately regretted it as I found myself behind a long line of parked cars. A Hatzolah ambulance had stopped at the end of the block on an emergency call and was holding up the traffic. It all took less than 10 minutes, however the real-feel as a meteorologist would say, felt like an hour. I made a conscious decision not to get anxious about it, because as you may have figured out, like I did; frustration does not actually do anything to alleviate any situation. Finally, the patient was wheeled out on a stretcher and was quickly whisked away by Hatzolah members. Relieved to be free, I began inching forward in my car, when I heard a knock on the back of my minivan, followed by another seemingly desperate knock. I rolled down my window and saw a frantic, totally out of breath, middle aged couple, asking if I can give them a hitch. I attempted to dodge their request. “You don’t understand” they said with angsts, “It’s our daughter! She is the one in the ambulance! She’s on the way to the hospital - we ran as fast as we could to get here! We just need to be with our daughter. Please take us to Maimonides Hospital.” I signaled them to hop into my car and immediately attempted to calm them with words of hope, while making every effort to get there as quickly as possible. As we arrived, they thanked me profusely and rushed out of my car and headed off into the emergency room. As I was driving away, I felt like a ray of happiness was spreading in me. It seemed a bit odd as I was running late, stuck in traffic and ended up taking this couple; I should have felt frustrated or anxious. Quite the contrary! Something inside me just made me feel happy. It was one of those lightbulb moments where I thought I finally got it. If you want to feel happy, just go help a person in need. From something as mundane as holding a door for someone behind you, telling one a good word, to helping out a person in despair. Every day, as part of davening we recite Eilu Devarim, where the Mishnah equates learning Torah and Gemilas Chasodim, as bearing no limits on how much of these deeds one can perform. Just like Torah brings happiness to one’s heart, so does chesed bring happiness to one’s heart. I came across this Chinese saying recently: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Sukkos is here, and interestingly, Hashem commanded us “three” times to be happy throughout Sukkos: ‫ושמחת‬ ’‫ ושמחתם לפני ד‬,‫ והיית אך שמח‬,‫בחגך‬ ‫אלקיכם‬. For the following three reasons: first, we were blessed with a good new year on Rosh Hashanah, and second, our sins were forgiven on Yom Kippur. Finally, the third reason is because Sukkos is also called ‫“ חג האסיף‬the harvest festival”. It is a time when the farmers would collect all the grain and fruit from their fields, and then realize their wealth. The message is clear; we just need to count our blessings and we’ll be able to achieve happiness and joy. Troubling times though, can sometimes make it difficult to live with gratitude. Here’s the way to jump start it. Just try to do one chesed. Make someone else happy and joy will come right back at you. fyi
get  your  JoinTheDiscussion       WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT      Surviving my childhood and my trophies.    Fai...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion  |   Decor   | DIY editor’s note T he last thing I wanted, was to be alone, without family, over Yom Tov when we lived in London. Spending some meals at acquaintances softened the loneliness a little bit. When we arrived at our host on Simchas Torah night we could see the confusion on their faces. It was clear that we had come for the wrong meal! It turns out that we were invited for the Simchas Torah day meal- we were only just about 12 hours early. Realizing what had happened, they invited us in, as they understood I hadn’t prepared for the meal! The hosts were very gracious and made us feel comfortable in such an uncomfortable situation. There are all kinds of mishaps that can (and do) happen when hosting guests or being a guest. However they can be minimized. Read our article on How to be a Good Host and Guest to avoid getting into common issues and making your host/guest feel comfortable. What will your kids be doing during the Yom Tov afternoons, and on Chol Hamoed, besides fight with each other, of course? I think we can all agree that keeping the children entertained over Yom Tov is also a dilemma. We got you covered, though. Read our article on interactive and fun ways to keep your brood entertained. Or just give them myFYI to read, they’ll be busy for hours. Thank us later! Really make yourself feel at home in your Sukkah, with some table decor pieces and Sukkah decor ideas picked just for you. You can also take your Sukkah Decor to the next level with our gorgeous yet easy to make Floating Glass Globes. It’ll add a high-end, contemporary feel to your sukkah with little, to no, effort. Go on and flip through our expanded Yom Tov issue made just for you. And don’t forget your husbands, the Wine Supplement is for them too! Yitty suggests: “After tasting this recipe, this is a must-have on my Yom Tov menu.” page 94 “Add a summery and light ambiance to your Sukkah with this modern and inexpensive table runner.” page 108 Feel at Home in Your SUKKAH Sukkos is my favorite time of year. Not only is it when the season starts to change, but for me, I love creating a new theme “The trick to makeup that’ll stay put over two days is right here in this small bottle. page 20 in my sukkah from year to year. It allows me to be creative and enjoy the sukkah more. You'll be happy to know that the décor doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg! You can easily make your sukkah gorgeous without spending much money. editor@fyimagazineny.com “No need for getting multiple bowls dirty with this nifty kitchen gadget!" page 106 FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK! @FYIMAGAZINE 12 | fyimagazineny.com Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion          Decor         DIY  editor   s note T  he last thing I wanted, was to be alone, without f...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion  |   Decor   | DIY editor’s note T he last thing I wanted, was to be alone, without family, over Yom Tov when we lived in London. Spending some meals at acquaintances softened the loneliness a little bit. When we arrived at our host on Simchas Torah night we could see the confusion on their faces. It was clear that we had come for the wrong meal! It turns out that we were invited for the Simchas Torah day meal- we were only just about 12 hours early. Realizing what had happened, they invited us in, as they understood I hadn’t prepared for the meal! The hosts were very gracious and made us feel comfortable in such an uncomfortable situation. There are all kinds of mishaps that can (and do) happen when hosting guests or being a guest. However they can be minimized. Read our article on How to be a Good Host and Guest to avoid getting into common issues and making your host/guest feel comfortable. What will your kids be doing during the Yom Tov afternoons, and on Chol Hamoed, besides fight with each other, of course? I think we can all agree that keeping the children entertained over Yom Tov is also a dilemma. We got you covered, though. Read our article on interactive and fun ways to keep your brood entertained. Or just give them myFYI to read, they’ll be busy for hours. Thank us later! Really make yourself feel at home in your Sukkah, with some table decor pieces and Sukkah decor ideas picked just for you. You can also take your Sukkah Decor to the next level with our gorgeous yet easy to make Floating Glass Globes. It’ll add a high-end, contemporary feel to your sukkah with little, to no, effort. Go on and flip through our expanded Yom Tov issue made just for you. And don’t forget your husbands, the Wine Supplement is for them too! Yitty suggests: “After tasting this recipe, this is a must-have on my Yom Tov menu.” page 94 “Add a summery and light ambiance to your Sukkah with this modern and inexpensive table runner.” page 108 Feel at Home in Your SUKKAH Sukkos is my favorite time of year. Not only is it when the season starts to change, but for me, I love creating a new theme “The trick to makeup that’ll stay put over two days is right here in this small bottle. page 20 in my sukkah from year to year. It allows me to be creative and enjoy the sukkah more. You'll be happy to know that the décor doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg! You can easily make your sukkah gorgeous without spending much money. editor@fyimagazineny.com “No need for getting multiple bowls dirty with this nifty kitchen gadget!" page 106 FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK! @FYIMAGAZINE 12 | fyimagazineny.com Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion          Decor         DIY  editor   s note T  he last thing I wanted, was to be alone, without f...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE An important step is to choose a light source. Whether it be a chandelier, LED lighting, stand up outdoor lamps, etc., make sure it sets the tone for your décor. It affects the entire sukkah. Sukkah décor is like decorating a home; always choose a focal point. In this sukkah, I chose to focus on the ceiling. This way, no matter how I decorated the table, I would always have an elegant whimsical feel in the sukkah. I personally like to keep the walls clear for my kid’s projects that we accumulate over the years, as well as other Judaic posters, so I go all out on my table scape and focal point. After those were hung, I filled in the empty spaces with glass test tubes and glass hanging tea light holders. Each one got a white faux flower in it. Finally, I randomly placed some fake crystal garland on a few empty branches to complete this whimsical feel. You can always add in other elements to decorate with, such as feathers, greenery, and lanterns. A great way to tie it all together is to also carry those elements onto your table. For example, if you use greenery on the ceiling of your sukkah, place some inside your centerpiece to create balance. The same goes for lanterns. Place a larger scale lantern in the center of your table and smaller ones around to mirror the ceiling décor. You can also use feather chargers under the plates and a few peacock feathers in a bud vase to bring the look together. When the feathers don’t all match; it adds interest to the table. By using vases and candle sticks at different heights, you create a gorgeous centerpiece. Place a tray in the center filled with fresh flowers or some candles. The table scape is all about preference. I like to do a different color scheme for each meal. Using different colored tablecloths, chargers, and napkin rings is the easiest way to switch it up. A great trick is to use scrapbook paper as a charger. It comes in hundreds of different colors and patterns. Also, another great way to bring some color into your sukkah is by using paper napkins in different patterns. I love to do a neutral table with a pop of color from the napkins and fresh flowers. All decorating items were purchased at Michael’s. 14 | fyimagazineny.com 15 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE An important step is to choose a light source. Whether it be a chandelier, LED lighting...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE An important step is to choose a light source. Whether it be a chandelier, LED lighting, stand up outdoor lamps, etc., make sure it sets the tone for your décor. It affects the entire sukkah. Sukkah décor is like decorating a home; always choose a focal point. In this sukkah, I chose to focus on the ceiling. This way, no matter how I decorated the table, I would always have an elegant whimsical feel in the sukkah. I personally like to keep the walls clear for my kid’s projects that we accumulate over the years, as well as other Judaic posters, so I go all out on my table scape and focal point. After those were hung, I filled in the empty spaces with glass test tubes and glass hanging tea light holders. Each one got a white faux flower in it. Finally, I randomly placed some fake crystal garland on a few empty branches to complete this whimsical feel. You can always add in other elements to decorate with, such as feathers, greenery, and lanterns. A great way to tie it all together is to also carry those elements onto your table. For example, if you use greenery on the ceiling of your sukkah, place some inside your centerpiece to create balance. The same goes for lanterns. Place a larger scale lantern in the center of your table and smaller ones around to mirror the ceiling décor. You can also use feather chargers under the plates and a few peacock feathers in a bud vase to bring the look together. When the feathers don’t all match; it adds interest to the table. By using vases and candle sticks at different heights, you create a gorgeous centerpiece. Place a tray in the center filled with fresh flowers or some candles. The table scape is all about preference. I like to do a different color scheme for each meal. Using different colored tablecloths, chargers, and napkin rings is the easiest way to switch it up. A great trick is to use scrapbook paper as a charger. It comes in hundreds of different colors and patterns. Also, another great way to bring some color into your sukkah is by using paper napkins in different patterns. I love to do a neutral table with a pop of color from the napkins and fresh flowers. All decorating items were purchased at Michael’s. 14 | fyimagazineny.com 15 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE An important step is to choose a light source. Whether it be a chandelier, LED lighting...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE id y FLOATING GLASS FLOWER GLOBES Give your sukkah a rich, modern, high-end appeal with this easy-to-make hanging decoration. It’s so simple, you’ll wonder how you didn’t think of this yourself! We chose to use fall colored flowers to give the sukkah a more rustic feel, but feel free to choose whatever color matches your Sukkah. 1. Cut the stems of the flowers and place them in the glass balls. 2. Cut the ribbon at varying lengths and pull it through the hole on top of the ball. 3. Hang over the table area in your sukkah! What you’ll need: • Hanging Glass Candle Holders • Burlap Ribbon • Faux Flowers We told you it was easy! Abigael’s House Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette Balsamic Vinaigrette 1 /4 cup BARTENUNRA Balsamic Vinegar 2 teaspoons water 11/2 teaspoons sugar 1 /2 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1 garlic clove, minced 1 /4 teaspoon David’s Kosher Salt Generous pinch of freshly ground pepper 1 /2 cup BARTENUNRA Extra Virgin Olive Oil 8 1 1 1 1 /2 8 1 /4 1 ounces mixed baby greens (mesclun) ripe red beefsteak tomato, seeded and cut into 3/4 - inch cubes ripe yellow tomato (or use an additional red tomato), seeded and cut into 3/4 - inch cubes cup (1/2 - inch dice) seedless English cucumber cup cooked garbanzo beans (canned beans are fine) cup sliced natural almonds, toasted garlic cloves, roasted and peeled cup dried currants or craisins. Pareve • Makes 4 servings 1. To make the vinaigrette, combine the vinegar, water, sugar, mustard, garlic, salt, and pepper in a blender. With the machine running, gradually pour in the oil and blend until thickened. 2. Toss the greens, red and yellow tomatoes, cucumber, beans, almonds, roasted garlic, and currants. Add the dressing and toss again. Serve immediately. Courtesy of Adventures in Jewish Cooking, by Jeff Nathan 16 | fyimagazineny.com BARTENURA • Imported from Italy 17 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  id y  FLOATING GLASS FLOWER GLOBES Give your sukkah a rich, modern, high-end appeal wi...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE id y FLOATING GLASS FLOWER GLOBES Give your sukkah a rich, modern, high-end appeal with this easy-to-make hanging decoration. It’s so simple, you’ll wonder how you didn’t think of this yourself! We chose to use fall colored flowers to give the sukkah a more rustic feel, but feel free to choose whatever color matches your Sukkah. 1. Cut the stems of the flowers and place them in the glass balls. 2. Cut the ribbon at varying lengths and pull it through the hole on top of the ball. 3. Hang over the table area in your sukkah! What you’ll need: • Hanging Glass Candle Holders • Burlap Ribbon • Faux Flowers We told you it was easy! Abigael’s House Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette Balsamic Vinaigrette 1 /4 cup BARTENUNRA Balsamic Vinegar 2 teaspoons water 11/2 teaspoons sugar 1 /2 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1 garlic clove, minced 1 /4 teaspoon David’s Kosher Salt Generous pinch of freshly ground pepper 1 /2 cup BARTENUNRA Extra Virgin Olive Oil 8 1 1 1 1 /2 8 1 /4 1 ounces mixed baby greens (mesclun) ripe red beefsteak tomato, seeded and cut into 3/4 - inch cubes ripe yellow tomato (or use an additional red tomato), seeded and cut into 3/4 - inch cubes cup (1/2 - inch dice) seedless English cucumber cup cooked garbanzo beans (canned beans are fine) cup sliced natural almonds, toasted garlic cloves, roasted and peeled cup dried currants or craisins. Pareve • Makes 4 servings 1. To make the vinaigrette, combine the vinegar, water, sugar, mustard, garlic, salt, and pepper in a blender. With the machine running, gradually pour in the oil and blend until thickened. 2. Toss the greens, red and yellow tomatoes, cucumber, beans, almonds, roasted garlic, and currants. Add the dressing and toss again. Serve immediately. Courtesy of Adventures in Jewish Cooking, by Jeff Nathan 16 | fyimagazineny.com BARTENURA • Imported from Italy 17 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  id y  FLOATING GLASS FLOWER GLOBES Give your sukkah a rich, modern, high-end appeal wi...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Long Lasting Makeup for Yom Tov E Y E B R OW S Never forget the importance of eyebrows. Full eyebrows help make a person appear more youthful. To keep your brows in place all Yom Tov, use a brow gel like Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Gel. WRITTEN BY GILA KIND, MUA There are so many things to stress with Yom Tov right around the corner, but makeup shouldn’t be one of Eyes them! I’m going to give you the pro makeup artist secrets to keep your makeup glued to your face for the entire Yom Tov. LASHES E Y E S H A D OW There’s not much of a secret to this one. Just use your favorite waterproof mascara. Mine is MAC Haute and Naughty. Make sure your lashes are super-clean before you apply. This will keep mascara in place the longest. Use a cream eyeshadow all over the lid. No need for an eye primer with Maybelline EyeStudio Color Tattoo. This shadow will set and will stay on until you remove it. Dab some all over your lid with your finger and then blend into the crease with a blending brush. EYELINER My absolute favorite liner is the Estee Edit the Edgiest Kohl Shadowstick. This liner stays all day, even on my watery sensitive eyes. When it’s time to bake your face (next page), you will ensure it doesn’t budge. 18 | fyimagazineny.com 19 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Long Lasting  Makeup for Yom Tov  E Y E B R OW S Never forget the importance of eyebro...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Long Lasting Makeup for Yom Tov E Y E B R OW S Never forget the importance of eyebrows. Full eyebrows help make a person appear more youthful. To keep your brows in place all Yom Tov, use a brow gel like Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Gel. WRITTEN BY GILA KIND, MUA There are so many things to stress with Yom Tov right around the corner, but makeup shouldn’t be one of Eyes them! I’m going to give you the pro makeup artist secrets to keep your makeup glued to your face for the entire Yom Tov. LASHES E Y E S H A D OW There’s not much of a secret to this one. Just use your favorite waterproof mascara. Mine is MAC Haute and Naughty. Make sure your lashes are super-clean before you apply. This will keep mascara in place the longest. Use a cream eyeshadow all over the lid. No need for an eye primer with Maybelline EyeStudio Color Tattoo. This shadow will set and will stay on until you remove it. Dab some all over your lid with your finger and then blend into the crease with a blending brush. EYELINER My absolute favorite liner is the Estee Edit the Edgiest Kohl Shadowstick. This liner stays all day, even on my watery sensitive eyes. When it’s time to bake your face (next page), you will ensure it doesn’t budge. 18 | fyimagazineny.com 19 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Long Lasting  Makeup for Yom Tov  E Y E B R OW S Never forget the importance of eyebro...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE FA S H I O N KATE SPADE NECKLACE Bloomingdales.com BASE Always start out with a clean and moisturized face. Make sure to clean off any fallout from the eyes with some cleansing water or a makeup wipe. Try Boots Botanics All Bright Cleansing Wipes! $298 Dressing up is one of our favorite activities, but it can be extra taxing - emotionally and financially - when you need to worry about layering your gorgeous holiday wear with shells. Here are a few of our favorite fall picks that need no additions to look fabulous and fierce, like you! K E E P I N G I T LO C K E D I N ! Now if you want to, you can set your face with a regular setting spray. All Nighter by Urban Decay works great! But an even more amazing, not-mainstream way to set your makeup is by using hairspray! That’s right: grab your favorite hairspray, keep it at least 6 inches away from your face, and let the mist go all over your face. Make sure that it’s a gentle mist and that it doesn’t splutter out at you. Just remember that hairspray wasn’t made for the face, so don’t use this trick on an everyday basis or it might make you break out. Face PRIMER TIME! Primer does two things: it makes your skin appear smoother, and it helps keep makeup on longer. Grab a pea-size amount of primer and work it around the nose, smile lines, between your eyes, and in the middle of your forehead. Try L'Oreal Paris True Match Foundation! These areas are where makeup tends to settle the most. Then spread the rest all around the face. Here’s where the secret tip comes in. Take a tiny amount of powder and lightly tap it over the primer. The powder will help the foundation cling to the primer. Dress #1 PATTERNED KNIT MISSONI DRESS stylebop.com B A K I N G YO U R FAC E That’s right; challah is not the only thing you’re baking this Yom Tov. Baking the face is a technique almost every makeup artist uses to keep her makeup bulletproof. First, grab your favorite setting powder (not a finishing powder). Take a small amount on a fluffy eyeshadow brush. Before powdering, blend out any under-eye concealer creases. Then right after blending them away, lightly tap the powder onto the under-eye, around the nose, chin, and anywhere else that you get oily. Now for the baking! Take your beauty blender and re-dampen it. Then grab a lot of powder onto it and put the powder under your eyes right under your eyeliner and in a triangle shape under the eye, under the area you contoured (if you accidentally blended the contour too low down on your face, this will also help fix it) all the way to your lips, and on your chin. Use MAC 'Prep + Prime' Fix+ Finishing Mist. Now let that sit and bake on your face for 5-10 minutes. After the time is up, grab a fluffy brush and gently brush the powder away. You will notice that this technique has also highlighted your face. If you want to, now is the time to add some extra powder blush, highlighter, and bronzer. 20 | fyimagazineny.com FINDS $469 Back to basics for those who swear by black. The combinations of textures and knitted fabrics will give you that extra oomph. AEROSOLES EFFORTLESS SHOOTIES macys.com Gila Kind is a Certified Makeup Artist, Located in Monsey, NY. To book an appointment email gilakindmakeup@ gmail.com and check out her work @ gila_kind_makeup $89 21 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  FA S H I O N  KATE SPADE NECKLACE Bloomingdales.com  BASE Always start out with a clea...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE FA S H I O N KATE SPADE NECKLACE Bloomingdales.com BASE Always start out with a clean and moisturized face. Make sure to clean off any fallout from the eyes with some cleansing water or a makeup wipe. Try Boots Botanics All Bright Cleansing Wipes! $298 Dressing up is one of our favorite activities, but it can be extra taxing - emotionally and financially - when you need to worry about layering your gorgeous holiday wear with shells. Here are a few of our favorite fall picks that need no additions to look fabulous and fierce, like you! K E E P I N G I T LO C K E D I N ! Now if you want to, you can set your face with a regular setting spray. All Nighter by Urban Decay works great! But an even more amazing, not-mainstream way to set your makeup is by using hairspray! That’s right: grab your favorite hairspray, keep it at least 6 inches away from your face, and let the mist go all over your face. Make sure that it’s a gentle mist and that it doesn’t splutter out at you. Just remember that hairspray wasn’t made for the face, so don’t use this trick on an everyday basis or it might make you break out. Face PRIMER TIME! Primer does two things: it makes your skin appear smoother, and it helps keep makeup on longer. Grab a pea-size amount of primer and work it around the nose, smile lines, between your eyes, and in the middle of your forehead. Try L'Oreal Paris True Match Foundation! These areas are where makeup tends to settle the most. Then spread the rest all around the face. Here’s where the secret tip comes in. Take a tiny amount of powder and lightly tap it over the primer. The powder will help the foundation cling to the primer. Dress #1 PATTERNED KNIT MISSONI DRESS stylebop.com B A K I N G YO U R FAC E That’s right; challah is not the only thing you’re baking this Yom Tov. Baking the face is a technique almost every makeup artist uses to keep her makeup bulletproof. First, grab your favorite setting powder (not a finishing powder). Take a small amount on a fluffy eyeshadow brush. Before powdering, blend out any under-eye concealer creases. Then right after blending them away, lightly tap the powder onto the under-eye, around the nose, chin, and anywhere else that you get oily. Now for the baking! Take your beauty blender and re-dampen it. Then grab a lot of powder onto it and put the powder under your eyes right under your eyeliner and in a triangle shape under the eye, under the area you contoured (if you accidentally blended the contour too low down on your face, this will also help fix it) all the way to your lips, and on your chin. Use MAC 'Prep + Prime' Fix+ Finishing Mist. Now let that sit and bake on your face for 5-10 minutes. After the time is up, grab a fluffy brush and gently brush the powder away. You will notice that this technique has also highlighted your face. If you want to, now is the time to add some extra powder blush, highlighter, and bronzer. 20 | fyimagazineny.com FINDS $469 Back to basics for those who swear by black. The combinations of textures and knitted fabrics will give you that extra oomph. AEROSOLES EFFORTLESS SHOOTIES macys.com Gila Kind is a Certified Makeup Artist, Located in Monsey, NY. To book an appointment email gilakindmakeup@ gmail.com and check out her work @ gila_kind_makeup $89 21 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  FA S H I O N  KATE SPADE NECKLACE Bloomingdales.com  BASE Always start out with a clea...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE GOLD BUCKLE BRACELET Lord and Taylor $36 PINK EARRINGS baublebar.com $335 Dress #2 KIMONO BELTED DRESS tedbaker.com The color is perfectly plum for fall, and the belt accent with hanging ties adds that effortless chic look you are dying to recreate this season! $40 22 | fyimagazineny.com BURGUNDY KITTEN HEELS zara.com 23 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  GOLD BUCKLE BRACELET Lord and Taylor   36  PINK EARRINGS baublebar.com   335  Dress  2...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE GOLD BUCKLE BRACELET Lord and Taylor $36 PINK EARRINGS baublebar.com $335 Dress #2 KIMONO BELTED DRESS tedbaker.com The color is perfectly plum for fall, and the belt accent with hanging ties adds that effortless chic look you are dying to recreate this season! $40 22 | fyimagazineny.com BURGUNDY KITTEN HEELS zara.com 23 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  GOLD BUCKLE BRACELET Lord and Taylor   36  PINK EARRINGS baublebar.com   335  Dress  2...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Dress #4 $45 $65 MEGAN DRESS chichilondon.com $100 GOLD CUFF stevemadden.com Don’t want to let go of summer? With this dress you don't have to. The mixture of blues, reds and pinks are not too light for fall, but not too dark either. Best of both worlds. $92 $55 ANNE KLEIN WATCH lordandtaylor.com ELISE M. GODDESS RING nordstrom.com Dress #5 DOUBLE BREASTED WRAP DRESS zara.com $275 $80 TORY BURCH HEELS nordstrom.com Teekay Eliti ilibusam quatem aliquam explitis volupti il es sereptas molorenti abore cor rem. Et explatur alist, commodi stiossi mporeprecti ape pro imoluptatur $118 Dress #3 LONG SLEEVED DRESS WITH FRILL DETAIL houseoffraser.co.uk PRADA HEELS neimanmarcus.com $640 This purple stunner is slick, sophisticated, and slimming. The side frill creates extra length, so short girls will love this one! 24 | fyimagazineny.com 25 | fyimagazineny.com SNAKE SKIN FLATS jcrew.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Dress  4   45   65  MEGAN DRESS chichilondon.com   100  GOLD CUFF stevemadden.com  Don...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Dress #4 $45 $65 MEGAN DRESS chichilondon.com $100 GOLD CUFF stevemadden.com Don’t want to let go of summer? With this dress you don't have to. The mixture of blues, reds and pinks are not too light for fall, but not too dark either. Best of both worlds. $92 $55 ANNE KLEIN WATCH lordandtaylor.com ELISE M. GODDESS RING nordstrom.com Dress #5 DOUBLE BREASTED WRAP DRESS zara.com $275 $80 TORY BURCH HEELS nordstrom.com Teekay Eliti ilibusam quatem aliquam explitis volupti il es sereptas molorenti abore cor rem. Et explatur alist, commodi stiossi mporeprecti ape pro imoluptatur $118 Dress #3 LONG SLEEVED DRESS WITH FRILL DETAIL houseoffraser.co.uk PRADA HEELS neimanmarcus.com $640 This purple stunner is slick, sophisticated, and slimming. The side frill creates extra length, so short girls will love this one! 24 | fyimagazineny.com 25 | fyimagazineny.com SNAKE SKIN FLATS jcrew.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Dress  4   45   65  MEGAN DRESS chichilondon.com   100  GOLD CUFF stevemadden.com  Don...
LOVE YOUR LIFE Health  |  In Session  |  How They Did It Dress #7 BOTTLE GREEN FLARY DRESS zara.com This one is for those extra sophisticated ladies. It covers up fairly nicely and is lengthy, so a taller lady will want this one. The ties give it a graceful look. Paired with kitten heels and a short necklace, and you are all set for cocktails by 7:00! Preparing for Yom Tov can be hectic for many of us, $98 GOLD CUFF baublebar.com with our family and work responsibilities becoming TORTOISE SHELL NECKLACE jcrew.com busier than ever. Of course, the highlight of this spiritual time of the year is spending time with family and friends, and bonding over beautiful meals, zmiros, and uplifting $50 davening. Realistically, $44 this time of year has the $129 potential to be a disaster when it comes to our TIPPING THE SCALE NINE WEST FLATS macys.com $79 Dress #6 OWL PRINT DRESS shoptiques.com Animals are all the rage this season, and what better dress to wear to a night time dinner than one with the official night time creature?! $285 TORY BURCH WEDGES neimanmarcus.com How not to gain weight over Yom Tov WRITTEN BY YAEL GELLER nutritional goals. Whether you are trying to lose a few pounds, maintain your current weight, or make a change to eat cleaner, there is no doubt that lavish meals, desserts, and snacking, can wreak havoc on your health goals. >>
LOVE YOUR LIFE Health         In Session         How They Did It  Dress  7  BOTTLE GREEN FLARY DRESS zara.com This one is ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE Health  |  In Session  |  How They Did It Dress #7 BOTTLE GREEN FLARY DRESS zara.com This one is for those extra sophisticated ladies. It covers up fairly nicely and is lengthy, so a taller lady will want this one. The ties give it a graceful look. Paired with kitten heels and a short necklace, and you are all set for cocktails by 7:00! Preparing for Yom Tov can be hectic for many of us, $98 GOLD CUFF baublebar.com with our family and work responsibilities becoming TORTOISE SHELL NECKLACE jcrew.com busier than ever. Of course, the highlight of this spiritual time of the year is spending time with family and friends, and bonding over beautiful meals, zmiros, and uplifting $50 davening. Realistically, $44 this time of year has the $129 potential to be a disaster when it comes to our TIPPING THE SCALE NINE WEST FLATS macys.com $79 Dress #6 OWL PRINT DRESS shoptiques.com Animals are all the rage this season, and what better dress to wear to a night time dinner than one with the official night time creature?! $285 TORY BURCH WEDGES neimanmarcus.com How not to gain weight over Yom Tov WRITTEN BY YAEL GELLER nutritional goals. Whether you are trying to lose a few pounds, maintain your current weight, or make a change to eat cleaner, there is no doubt that lavish meals, desserts, and snacking, can wreak havoc on your health goals. >>
LOVE YOUR LIFE Health         In Session         How They Did It  Dress  7  BOTTLE GREEN FLARY DRESS zara.com This one is ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE SO HOW DO WE COMBAT THIS PROBLEM? This time of year is the perfect time to have an honest conversation with yourself about how your current situation makes you feel. If you are at a point where you would love to lose those pounds to fit into a new dress you’ve been eyeing for months, you are in luck, because with determination and a plan, you can achieve your goals. portion of protein should fit in the palm of your hand; a vegetable (green, not starchy like potatoes or beets) is two handfuls together, and oil or fat should be about the size of your thumb. Balancing your meals is the key to staying on track. Eating out? No problem at all! Ask your host if you can help cook or bring anything, and ask to hear her menu beforehand. LET’S MAKE GAINING WEIGHT OVER YOM TOV IMPOSSIBLE! The biggest challenge for most of us is meals. Over the course of Rosh Hashana, Sukkos, and Simchas Torah, we have upwards of eight meals, and that is not including the Shabbosim in between. We tend to overcook and make as many lavish dishes as we possibly can to enhance Yom Tov for our families and guests. Many times we share meals with either family or friends, not knowing exactly what will be served, nor whether it will be possible to watch what we eat. SNACKING Now let's tackle snacking. It is okay to snack. If you feel hungry, have a sugar craving, or you do not feel equipped to say no to that piece of chocolate cake which has been calling your name for the last three days, go ahead and indulge! Once you do have that cake, enjoy it to the fullest; do not fall off the cliff of assuming your meal planning and healthful eating was MEAL PLANNING I cannot stress this enough when it comes to these holidays or even in your daily life. If you plan to cook Yom Tov, make a list early on and calculate how many people will be attending each meal. Plan the meal accordingly with proper food groups. For example, a balanced meal should have a main protein, a carb (preferably a vegetable-based carb, like sweet potato, squash, or basmati rice), and a green (not starch-based) vegetable. Dessert can be as simple as cut-up fruit platters or my favorite: a simple fruit cobbler with an almond crumble topping. PORTION CONTROL It is sometimes difficult to estimate how much we are actually eating of each food group. If you are not used to weighing your food, you are in luck! The easiest way to estimate a portion is to use your hands! A There is currently an epidemic of obesity in the United States. Obesity is defined when the Body Mass Index (BMI) of the individual is 30 or above. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that between 34-40% of women between the ages of 20 and 60 are considered obese based on their BMI. Women are 4% more likely to be obese than their male counterparts. We also have issues with our children, as recent statistics show that 17% of children between the ages of 2 and 19 are obese. Those aged 12-19 have the highest percentage of obesity prevalence at a whopping 20.5%! 28 | fyimagazineny.com for naught. It is foolish to climb into this trap. You slipped up? That’s okay; move on to the next meal with your head held high and your previous eating plan intact. You do not want to feel restricted and deprived, which can ruin your Yom Tov and your mood. This piece of advice is extremely critical if you want to succeed. IDENTIFYING INGREDIENTS If you are just starting out and trying to get into a healthier eating mode, I suggest you read the ingredients on the processed foods you buy. You do not need to avoid them, but be mindful that processed foods are not usually the most nutritious. If you cannot pronounce the ingredients, you might want to research what they actually are. If you are planning to go on trips for Chol Hamoed with your family, plan what foods to pack and what to buy. Some staples that I take on my trips are beef jerky, nut butter, dried fruits, nuts, oats, and rice cakes. You can buy fruits, vegetables, and almond milk at almost any grocery store on your way. You can do an alfresco salad with some oven-roasted turkey and vegetables. Just pack a sharp knife, cutting board and a peeler, and you are set! HYDRATION The last point is water. You must hydrate. Our bodies are predominantly composed of water and it is used in every cell process performed. There are so many different ailments, aches, and issues that come from dehydration, including headaches, upset stomach, tiredness, muscle cramps, and a host of other issues. I know what you are thinking and I hear people say they HATE water all the time. Good news: there are many ways to dress up your water with mint, cucumber, cut-up citrus, or other fruits, like watermelon, pomegranate, and pineapple. Recipe for Success: FRUIT COBBLER Cook time: 30-35 minutes | Preheat oven: 375 | Yield: 8X8 dish; 4 servings 5 cups fruit of your choice (frozen or fresh, preferably without added stabilizers, sugar, corn syrup or chemicals) Topping: (you can double the topping and save some for a later date) 1 cup almond meal or flour ¼ cup coconut oil (I would stay away from all soy-based vegetable oils) 1 teaspoon vanilla ½ teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon nutmeg (Optional: replace spices with pumpkin pie spice mix) 29 | fyimagazineny.com INSTRUCTIONS: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Grease pan with a bit of coconut oil. Add fruit to the dish. Combine the topping ingredients in a bowl. Spread over the fruit. Cook for 30-40 minutes until desired doneness. OPTIONAL: You can add a bit of honey to the top after the cobbler is cooked, or serve with some Parve vanilla ice cream. Enjoy!
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  SO HOW DO WE COMBAT THIS PROBLEM  This time of year is the perfect time to have an honest ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE SO HOW DO WE COMBAT THIS PROBLEM? This time of year is the perfect time to have an honest conversation with yourself about how your current situation makes you feel. If you are at a point where you would love to lose those pounds to fit into a new dress you’ve been eyeing for months, you are in luck, because with determination and a plan, you can achieve your goals. portion of protein should fit in the palm of your hand; a vegetable (green, not starchy like potatoes or beets) is two handfuls together, and oil or fat should be about the size of your thumb. Balancing your meals is the key to staying on track. Eating out? No problem at all! Ask your host if you can help cook or bring anything, and ask to hear her menu beforehand. LET’S MAKE GAINING WEIGHT OVER YOM TOV IMPOSSIBLE! The biggest challenge for most of us is meals. Over the course of Rosh Hashana, Sukkos, and Simchas Torah, we have upwards of eight meals, and that is not including the Shabbosim in between. We tend to overcook and make as many lavish dishes as we possibly can to enhance Yom Tov for our families and guests. Many times we share meals with either family or friends, not knowing exactly what will be served, nor whether it will be possible to watch what we eat. SNACKING Now let's tackle snacking. It is okay to snack. If you feel hungry, have a sugar craving, or you do not feel equipped to say no to that piece of chocolate cake which has been calling your name for the last three days, go ahead and indulge! Once you do have that cake, enjoy it to the fullest; do not fall off the cliff of assuming your meal planning and healthful eating was MEAL PLANNING I cannot stress this enough when it comes to these holidays or even in your daily life. If you plan to cook Yom Tov, make a list early on and calculate how many people will be attending each meal. Plan the meal accordingly with proper food groups. For example, a balanced meal should have a main protein, a carb (preferably a vegetable-based carb, like sweet potato, squash, or basmati rice), and a green (not starch-based) vegetable. Dessert can be as simple as cut-up fruit platters or my favorite: a simple fruit cobbler with an almond crumble topping. PORTION CONTROL It is sometimes difficult to estimate how much we are actually eating of each food group. If you are not used to weighing your food, you are in luck! The easiest way to estimate a portion is to use your hands! A There is currently an epidemic of obesity in the United States. Obesity is defined when the Body Mass Index (BMI) of the individual is 30 or above. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that between 34-40% of women between the ages of 20 and 60 are considered obese based on their BMI. Women are 4% more likely to be obese than their male counterparts. We also have issues with our children, as recent statistics show that 17% of children between the ages of 2 and 19 are obese. Those aged 12-19 have the highest percentage of obesity prevalence at a whopping 20.5%! 28 | fyimagazineny.com for naught. It is foolish to climb into this trap. You slipped up? That’s okay; move on to the next meal with your head held high and your previous eating plan intact. You do not want to feel restricted and deprived, which can ruin your Yom Tov and your mood. This piece of advice is extremely critical if you want to succeed. IDENTIFYING INGREDIENTS If you are just starting out and trying to get into a healthier eating mode, I suggest you read the ingredients on the processed foods you buy. You do not need to avoid them, but be mindful that processed foods are not usually the most nutritious. If you cannot pronounce the ingredients, you might want to research what they actually are. If you are planning to go on trips for Chol Hamoed with your family, plan what foods to pack and what to buy. Some staples that I take on my trips are beef jerky, nut butter, dried fruits, nuts, oats, and rice cakes. You can buy fruits, vegetables, and almond milk at almost any grocery store on your way. You can do an alfresco salad with some oven-roasted turkey and vegetables. Just pack a sharp knife, cutting board and a peeler, and you are set! HYDRATION The last point is water. You must hydrate. Our bodies are predominantly composed of water and it is used in every cell process performed. There are so many different ailments, aches, and issues that come from dehydration, including headaches, upset stomach, tiredness, muscle cramps, and a host of other issues. I know what you are thinking and I hear people say they HATE water all the time. Good news: there are many ways to dress up your water with mint, cucumber, cut-up citrus, or other fruits, like watermelon, pomegranate, and pineapple. Recipe for Success: FRUIT COBBLER Cook time: 30-35 minutes | Preheat oven: 375 | Yield: 8X8 dish; 4 servings 5 cups fruit of your choice (frozen or fresh, preferably without added stabilizers, sugar, corn syrup or chemicals) Topping: (you can double the topping and save some for a later date) 1 cup almond meal or flour ¼ cup coconut oil (I would stay away from all soy-based vegetable oils) 1 teaspoon vanilla ½ teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon nutmeg (Optional: replace spices with pumpkin pie spice mix) 29 | fyimagazineny.com INSTRUCTIONS: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Grease pan with a bit of coconut oil. Add fruit to the dish. Combine the topping ingredients in a bowl. Spread over the fruit. Cook for 30-40 minutes until desired doneness. OPTIONAL: You can add a bit of honey to the top after the cobbler is cooked, or serve with some Parve vanilla ice cream. Enjoy!
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  SO HOW DO WE COMBAT THIS PROBLEM  This time of year is the perfect time to have an honest ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE ALOPECIA: AN UPHILL BATTLE WRITTEN BY CHANI MILLER When adding a drop of juice to this life-sustaining beverage, be aware that juice is usually high in sugar and should be used sparingly. You also have the option to drink seltzer or mineral water. You should aim to drink around eight to nine 8-ounce cups of water per day, depending on your body weight. Work your way up if this is not something you are used to. It will come in handy leading up to the days when you will be in shul for many hours without food or water. EXERCISE The CDC recommends 150 minutes of medium intensity exercise every week; however, it is understandably difficult to accomplish this with our busy lives. There are many little tricks we can use to get in more steps per day and keep our bodies moving. Here are a few suggestions that can make a difference. If you work or live in a building, try to take the stairs. Even if you only take the stairs down once a day, it still counts. Try to keep your sitting time to a minimum and occasionally get up from long meals or davening to stretch your legs even for a few minutes. Take some time out from your afternoon and go walking with a friend or by yourself, and try some positive thinking. Use your smartphone to count your steps. Make daily challenges for yourself, trying to hit at least 10,000 steps per day or more if you love a challenge. Get your friends to join you on calorie and step counting apps like MyFitnessPal and compete with each other. Remember, all good things take time. Do not take on more than you can handle at one time. If you find all of the suggestions overwhelming, try to incorporate one every other week. Be mindful 30 | fyimagazineny.com of your food and activity choices. You can try to adapt some of these habits into your family, but many times, others will be skeptical of change. When others start to notice the differences you feel, however, they might join you on your journey to a healthier life and you can reap the benefits together. fyi Yael E. Geller, MPH, Yael Geller graduated with a Master’s in Public Health from the Milken Institute of Public Health at George Washington University in August of 2015. Her primary focus during her studies was public health policy analysis, health education, and intervention development and implementation. Her thesis explored the psychological reasoning of the rise in the antivaccination movement among parents. She currently works for a nationally recognized non-profit organization coordinating health education programs and writing medical education materials. YaelGellerMPH@gmail.com It was a normal, hectic morning for Miri T. Well, hectic until she began to brush Shira’s hair. With one eye on the clock, she almost missed it. It was the size of a quarter on top of her daughter's head – an area with no hair. Bald. “Shira, were you using my razor?” she asked her 8-year-old. She already knew the answer but stood grasping at any straw that would allow her to retain a feeling of normalcy. “No, Mommy. Why?”Miri couldn’t answer. Her heart was pounding, and as soon as Shira left for school, she ran to her computer. Google did nothing to assuage her fears. Every possibility was more terrifying than the next. Shira's pediatrician diagnosed the case. Alopecia. WHAT IS ALOPECIA? It’s an autoimmune disease that causes baldness, sometimes in patches, sometimes over the whole head. It can also cause body hair to fall out. It occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles, and experts have yet to discover why. Although the damage to the follicle is usually not permanent, there is no cure, but there are many forms of treatment. Though it may affect children and adults of any age, and women and men are affected equally, it is most common in people younger than age 20. In this article, we will meet several of these young people and their families who have dealt with the disease. While some of their experiences and approaches may be similar, there are also differences. 31 | fyimagazineny.com Miri, like any parent, was stunned at the diagnosis of a disease she had never heard of. And thus began Miri’s battle to do all in her power for her young daughter. The battle was waged on two fronts: physical and emotional. Building on the approach she was already using due to Shira’s serious allergies, she created an even more upbeat atmosphere in their home. “Hashem has many nisyonos (tests) and He only gives them to people he thinks are special so they can become even more special. And look, Hashem chose you!” This theme pervaded their conversations. Imagine Miri’s gratitude when she was able to see success. For example, one morning Shira wanted to skip brushing her hair since it was too painful. “It’s okay, Mommy,” she commented nonchalantly. “I don’t care if it’s a little messy. I’ll wear a headband. All my friends know about it already anyways. This is what Hashem gave me. That’s the way it is. Like some girls have freckles.“   Miri was so thankful that Shira didn’t allow her condition to define her. She was still her cheerful, lively daughter with the same bubbly personality. She was popular in the classroom and confident in everything she undertook. Together, they fought to eliminate the problem. Today, things are better. “Shira is a trooper,” Miri says, in awe of what such a young child is able to do. “I am positive I would not be able to undergo what she has without a whole lot more grumpy complaints, complete with temper tantrums. Yet she takes it all in stride, knowing it’s something she has to go through to fix the problem". "We tried many treatments. Some uncomfortable. Some painful. The
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  ALOPECIA  AN UPHILL BATTLE WRITTEN BY CHANI MILLER  When adding a drop of juice to this li...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE ALOPECIA: AN UPHILL BATTLE WRITTEN BY CHANI MILLER When adding a drop of juice to this life-sustaining beverage, be aware that juice is usually high in sugar and should be used sparingly. You also have the option to drink seltzer or mineral water. You should aim to drink around eight to nine 8-ounce cups of water per day, depending on your body weight. Work your way up if this is not something you are used to. It will come in handy leading up to the days when you will be in shul for many hours without food or water. EXERCISE The CDC recommends 150 minutes of medium intensity exercise every week; however, it is understandably difficult to accomplish this with our busy lives. There are many little tricks we can use to get in more steps per day and keep our bodies moving. Here are a few suggestions that can make a difference. If you work or live in a building, try to take the stairs. Even if you only take the stairs down once a day, it still counts. Try to keep your sitting time to a minimum and occasionally get up from long meals or davening to stretch your legs even for a few minutes. Take some time out from your afternoon and go walking with a friend or by yourself, and try some positive thinking. Use your smartphone to count your steps. Make daily challenges for yourself, trying to hit at least 10,000 steps per day or more if you love a challenge. Get your friends to join you on calorie and step counting apps like MyFitnessPal and compete with each other. Remember, all good things take time. Do not take on more than you can handle at one time. If you find all of the suggestions overwhelming, try to incorporate one every other week. Be mindful 30 | fyimagazineny.com of your food and activity choices. You can try to adapt some of these habits into your family, but many times, others will be skeptical of change. When others start to notice the differences you feel, however, they might join you on your journey to a healthier life and you can reap the benefits together. fyi Yael E. Geller, MPH, Yael Geller graduated with a Master’s in Public Health from the Milken Institute of Public Health at George Washington University in August of 2015. Her primary focus during her studies was public health policy analysis, health education, and intervention development and implementation. Her thesis explored the psychological reasoning of the rise in the antivaccination movement among parents. She currently works for a nationally recognized non-profit organization coordinating health education programs and writing medical education materials. YaelGellerMPH@gmail.com It was a normal, hectic morning for Miri T. Well, hectic until she began to brush Shira’s hair. With one eye on the clock, she almost missed it. It was the size of a quarter on top of her daughter's head – an area with no hair. Bald. “Shira, were you using my razor?” she asked her 8-year-old. She already knew the answer but stood grasping at any straw that would allow her to retain a feeling of normalcy. “No, Mommy. Why?”Miri couldn’t answer. Her heart was pounding, and as soon as Shira left for school, she ran to her computer. Google did nothing to assuage her fears. Every possibility was more terrifying than the next. Shira's pediatrician diagnosed the case. Alopecia. WHAT IS ALOPECIA? It’s an autoimmune disease that causes baldness, sometimes in patches, sometimes over the whole head. It can also cause body hair to fall out. It occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles, and experts have yet to discover why. Although the damage to the follicle is usually not permanent, there is no cure, but there are many forms of treatment. Though it may affect children and adults of any age, and women and men are affected equally, it is most common in people younger than age 20. In this article, we will meet several of these young people and their families who have dealt with the disease. While some of their experiences and approaches may be similar, there are also differences. 31 | fyimagazineny.com Miri, like any parent, was stunned at the diagnosis of a disease she had never heard of. And thus began Miri’s battle to do all in her power for her young daughter. The battle was waged on two fronts: physical and emotional. Building on the approach she was already using due to Shira’s serious allergies, she created an even more upbeat atmosphere in their home. “Hashem has many nisyonos (tests) and He only gives them to people he thinks are special so they can become even more special. And look, Hashem chose you!” This theme pervaded their conversations. Imagine Miri’s gratitude when she was able to see success. For example, one morning Shira wanted to skip brushing her hair since it was too painful. “It’s okay, Mommy,” she commented nonchalantly. “I don’t care if it’s a little messy. I’ll wear a headband. All my friends know about it already anyways. This is what Hashem gave me. That’s the way it is. Like some girls have freckles.“   Miri was so thankful that Shira didn’t allow her condition to define her. She was still her cheerful, lively daughter with the same bubbly personality. She was popular in the classroom and confident in everything she undertook. Together, they fought to eliminate the problem. Today, things are better. “Shira is a trooper,” Miri says, in awe of what such a young child is able to do. “I am positive I would not be able to undergo what she has without a whole lot more grumpy complaints, complete with temper tantrums. Yet she takes it all in stride, knowing it’s something she has to go through to fix the problem". "We tried many treatments. Some uncomfortable. Some painful. The
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  ALOPECIA  AN UPHILL BATTLE WRITTEN BY CHANI MILLER  When adding a drop of juice to this li...
LOVE YOUR LIFE worst was a period during which she received sessions of cortisone shots: 12-18 shots each session. I don’t know which one of us was in more pain. But she took it. (The ice cream cone – 4 scoops – I bought her afterwards was more for my sake than hers.)" "It was so discouraging to see one treatment after the other fail. Our doctor had only one more possibility – medication that would cost $1,000 per session and was not covered by insurance. This was a last resort, so he urged us to sign up for a trial program at one of the large hospitals in New York before we tried this last method. Baruch Hashem, the hospital program worked!" Shira’s bald spot, which had grown to the size of a half dollar, is now growing hair. The family nicknamed her Spike due to her resemblance to the “pets” stuffed with grass seed that grow “hair.” Shira giggles at her nickname but in her more serious moments, she confides with joy, “I’m so happy. Hashem listened to my tefillos.”     Miri davens that Shira will never have to deal with alopecia again.   Every Day Hairoes LOVE YOUR LIFE dealing with alopecia within their families. They believe in living with confidence, bravery, and understanding, and their mission speaks for itself. The group was founded in 2015 by Mr. and Mrs. Teichman of Williamsburg, NY – parents who knew only too well what it was like to deal with a child having alopecia. With the assistance of Mr. and Mrs. Yoffe of Far Rockaway, they decided to use their experiences to lead this support system in the effort to help others navigate through the nightmare. The Teichmans first noticed some eyelashes missing from their 3-year-old daughter's eyelids. Threeyear-olds do strange things and they assumed she had pulled the hairs out. The dermatologist assured them that it was probably nothing, but when the child turned six, they could no longer "bury their heads in the sand." Small bald patches began to appear on her head. Yet, they were still in denial. “I should put a wig on my 6-year old? It will grow back, I’m sure,” recounted Mrs. Teichman. However, it didn’t. Traumatized, their daughter refused to go to school. And her parents watched with saddened hearts as the other little girls boarded the bus sporting Hairoes.org is a support group led by people who have spent years 32 | fyimagazineny.com long, thick ponytails encased in fancy bows. There were no support groups and the road was a lonely one. They were devastated and emotionally unable to support their daughter.   They began a lonely climb up a tall and treacherous mountain. One neighbor, also dealing with the condition, advised them not to get involved with treatments. “I wish someone would have given me that advice,” she said. “It would have saved me a tremendous amount of money and, even more importantly, a great deal of emotional anguish. Our hopes were raised only to be dashed over and over again.” It was hard for the Teichmans to adopt a "do nothing" policy and so they embarked on a vitamin treatment. They later learned that was a big mistake. Alopecia is due to the immune system attacking the hair follicle. Vitamins strengthen the immune system, thus enabling it to destroy even more follicles.    The neighbor suffering from alopecia once commented that the most liberating moment was when all of his hair finally fell out. Until that time, he was on an emotional roller coaster. "Mommy, I think I see hair in this spot."   "Oh no, that spot is bald again." Since alopecia comes and goes, it may seem at times that a treatment has worked, when actually it’s only the disease easing up for a little while. Using that same treatment later on gives rise to hopes that are ultimately destroyed, only to be replaced by new hopes that are also destroyed in an endless cycle.   It was a long trip trudging up that mountain, but the Teichmans eventually realized that the best treatment would be to develop their daughter’s self-confidence. Now the girl who only a couple of short years ago refused to go to school, is prancing around Great Adventures with no wig. (Yes, they did eventually come to terms with buying one!) At a recent Hairoes carnival, many of the 45 children had not yet purchased wigs, and in unity, the Teichman girl tossed hers aside, full of the inner knowledge of being a great kid, hair or no hair. Sometimes she wears her wig to the park and sometimes she doesn’t. It has become almost a non-issue. This bright little ball of fire was runnerup at a spelling bee and stood on stage, just radiating self-assurance. This was a tribute, both to her spelling prowess and also to her parents’ ability to instill pride in their child. The Teichmans spent $3,000 on their first wig, but later discovered an entity called Hair Clubs for Kids, which offers free wigs and replaced regularly. Thankfully, finances are one factor that does not have to be included in the equation any longer. Knowing that this trial came from Hashem, the Teichmans decided to use their experiences to help others. With the talents Hashem had given them, they created 6 CDs that are about Kibud Av V’eim. Later, they decided to help others by filling in the gap they themselves had felt when their difficulties began. So they established Hairoes, where the underlying theme is, "We’re fine. In fact, we’re great." The group offers support and sponsors many events, and the Teichmans and Yoffes happily report that they receive calls daily from people who either need support or want to give it. The calls come from literally all over the world. One lady from Vienna asked to speak directly to the Teichmans’ daughter and advised, "Share the fact that you have a wig with your classmates. Don’t try to hide it. Let them participate in the ‘fun’ of having a wig by combing it, and making braids." It was excellent advice. "Children take their cue from the parents," Mr. Teichman now comments. "Once we were able to climb out of our pit of devastation, she quickly joined us." When a person has only small bald spots, it pays to try treatment, but he touts self-confidence boosting as the best and only treatment for those that become completely bald. There are some cures in the pipeline, but it may be 10-20 years before they become available to the public. A child who grows up with 33 | fyimagazineny.com the constant tension and anxiety that this next treatment MUST work, "or else my life will be ruined," or who lives under the spectre of "Who will want to marry me if I’m bald?" may have stunted emotional growth. This can result in a child who may not have the tools to face adult life, regardless of any hair growth. To fulfill their mission of creating support, Hairoes children are given the opportunity to set up pen pals, in addition to attending events. Events are also created for adults. A recent barbecue for men was crowded with guests from every local Jewish area in NY. One middle-aged man told of his experience as a child. With no support, he felt himself to be "less than others." Those around him, including adults who should have offered protection rather than abuse, enhanced his belief. His pain still stings as he vividly recalls one week of Parshas Metzorah, when his rebbe wanted to explain the different forms of tzoraas, one being hair loss. He was made to stand in front of the class as an example, then brought from classroom to classroom as Exhibit A. Hairoes is here to change that. Malky Malky is another "hairo." She began her bout with alopecia at age 12, and needed all the help she could get. Now 24, she is on the other side of the fence, having made peace with the condition. She has developed ways of helping others. “There is no real cure,” she says, having come to the same conclusion as others. “Even when it seems to have disappeared, it can always come back. The best tool to handle it is the development of self-esteem. My mother was great. She really built up my self-confidence. She made me feel like I’m a great girl – my appearance, my intelligence, my
LOVE YOUR LIFE  worst was a period during which she received sessions of cortisone shots  12-18 shots each session. I don ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE worst was a period during which she received sessions of cortisone shots: 12-18 shots each session. I don’t know which one of us was in more pain. But she took it. (The ice cream cone – 4 scoops – I bought her afterwards was more for my sake than hers.)" "It was so discouraging to see one treatment after the other fail. Our doctor had only one more possibility – medication that would cost $1,000 per session and was not covered by insurance. This was a last resort, so he urged us to sign up for a trial program at one of the large hospitals in New York before we tried this last method. Baruch Hashem, the hospital program worked!" Shira’s bald spot, which had grown to the size of a half dollar, is now growing hair. The family nicknamed her Spike due to her resemblance to the “pets” stuffed with grass seed that grow “hair.” Shira giggles at her nickname but in her more serious moments, she confides with joy, “I’m so happy. Hashem listened to my tefillos.”     Miri davens that Shira will never have to deal with alopecia again.   Every Day Hairoes LOVE YOUR LIFE dealing with alopecia within their families. They believe in living with confidence, bravery, and understanding, and their mission speaks for itself. The group was founded in 2015 by Mr. and Mrs. Teichman of Williamsburg, NY – parents who knew only too well what it was like to deal with a child having alopecia. With the assistance of Mr. and Mrs. Yoffe of Far Rockaway, they decided to use their experiences to lead this support system in the effort to help others navigate through the nightmare. The Teichmans first noticed some eyelashes missing from their 3-year-old daughter's eyelids. Threeyear-olds do strange things and they assumed she had pulled the hairs out. The dermatologist assured them that it was probably nothing, but when the child turned six, they could no longer "bury their heads in the sand." Small bald patches began to appear on her head. Yet, they were still in denial. “I should put a wig on my 6-year old? It will grow back, I’m sure,” recounted Mrs. Teichman. However, it didn’t. Traumatized, their daughter refused to go to school. And her parents watched with saddened hearts as the other little girls boarded the bus sporting Hairoes.org is a support group led by people who have spent years 32 | fyimagazineny.com long, thick ponytails encased in fancy bows. There were no support groups and the road was a lonely one. They were devastated and emotionally unable to support their daughter.   They began a lonely climb up a tall and treacherous mountain. One neighbor, also dealing with the condition, advised them not to get involved with treatments. “I wish someone would have given me that advice,” she said. “It would have saved me a tremendous amount of money and, even more importantly, a great deal of emotional anguish. Our hopes were raised only to be dashed over and over again.” It was hard for the Teichmans to adopt a "do nothing" policy and so they embarked on a vitamin treatment. They later learned that was a big mistake. Alopecia is due to the immune system attacking the hair follicle. Vitamins strengthen the immune system, thus enabling it to destroy even more follicles.    The neighbor suffering from alopecia once commented that the most liberating moment was when all of his hair finally fell out. Until that time, he was on an emotional roller coaster. "Mommy, I think I see hair in this spot."   "Oh no, that spot is bald again." Since alopecia comes and goes, it may seem at times that a treatment has worked, when actually it’s only the disease easing up for a little while. Using that same treatment later on gives rise to hopes that are ultimately destroyed, only to be replaced by new hopes that are also destroyed in an endless cycle.   It was a long trip trudging up that mountain, but the Teichmans eventually realized that the best treatment would be to develop their daughter’s self-confidence. Now the girl who only a couple of short years ago refused to go to school, is prancing around Great Adventures with no wig. (Yes, they did eventually come to terms with buying one!) At a recent Hairoes carnival, many of the 45 children had not yet purchased wigs, and in unity, the Teichman girl tossed hers aside, full of the inner knowledge of being a great kid, hair or no hair. Sometimes she wears her wig to the park and sometimes she doesn’t. It has become almost a non-issue. This bright little ball of fire was runnerup at a spelling bee and stood on stage, just radiating self-assurance. This was a tribute, both to her spelling prowess and also to her parents’ ability to instill pride in their child. The Teichmans spent $3,000 on their first wig, but later discovered an entity called Hair Clubs for Kids, which offers free wigs and replaced regularly. Thankfully, finances are one factor that does not have to be included in the equation any longer. Knowing that this trial came from Hashem, the Teichmans decided to use their experiences to help others. With the talents Hashem had given them, they created 6 CDs that are about Kibud Av V’eim. Later, they decided to help others by filling in the gap they themselves had felt when their difficulties began. So they established Hairoes, where the underlying theme is, "We’re fine. In fact, we’re great." The group offers support and sponsors many events, and the Teichmans and Yoffes happily report that they receive calls daily from people who either need support or want to give it. The calls come from literally all over the world. One lady from Vienna asked to speak directly to the Teichmans’ daughter and advised, "Share the fact that you have a wig with your classmates. Don’t try to hide it. Let them participate in the ‘fun’ of having a wig by combing it, and making braids." It was excellent advice. "Children take their cue from the parents," Mr. Teichman now comments. "Once we were able to climb out of our pit of devastation, she quickly joined us." When a person has only small bald spots, it pays to try treatment, but he touts self-confidence boosting as the best and only treatment for those that become completely bald. There are some cures in the pipeline, but it may be 10-20 years before they become available to the public. A child who grows up with 33 | fyimagazineny.com the constant tension and anxiety that this next treatment MUST work, "or else my life will be ruined," or who lives under the spectre of "Who will want to marry me if I’m bald?" may have stunted emotional growth. This can result in a child who may not have the tools to face adult life, regardless of any hair growth. To fulfill their mission of creating support, Hairoes children are given the opportunity to set up pen pals, in addition to attending events. Events are also created for adults. A recent barbecue for men was crowded with guests from every local Jewish area in NY. One middle-aged man told of his experience as a child. With no support, he felt himself to be "less than others." Those around him, including adults who should have offered protection rather than abuse, enhanced his belief. His pain still stings as he vividly recalls one week of Parshas Metzorah, when his rebbe wanted to explain the different forms of tzoraas, one being hair loss. He was made to stand in front of the class as an example, then brought from classroom to classroom as Exhibit A. Hairoes is here to change that. Malky Malky is another "hairo." She began her bout with alopecia at age 12, and needed all the help she could get. Now 24, she is on the other side of the fence, having made peace with the condition. She has developed ways of helping others. “There is no real cure,” she says, having come to the same conclusion as others. “Even when it seems to have disappeared, it can always come back. The best tool to handle it is the development of self-esteem. My mother was great. She really built up my self-confidence. She made me feel like I’m a great girl – my appearance, my intelligence, my
LOVE YOUR LIFE  worst was a period during which she received sessions of cortisone shots  12-18 shots each session. I don ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE SHARE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A WIG WITH YOUR CLASSMATES. DON’T TRY TO HIDE IT. LET THEM PARTICIPATE IN THE ‘FUN’ OF HAVING A WIG BY COMBING IT, AND MAKING BRAIDS." talents, my aspirations – all of me! "I currently assist at a support group called New Jersey Cap, and this is the main thing I stress. ‘Don’t let alopecia define you. You are not alopecia. You are a person, a terrific person!’ A member of the group once refused to attend an event. Not because she was embarrassed or had any hang-ups about the alopecia. Simply because she didn’t consider herself an alopecia ‘victim.’ Just a person who happens to have alopecia.” Because there are many creams used to treat alopecia, Malky advises to try as many of them as needed. Some will work for one person while others may not. Some creams sting. Some are so strong that if they inadvertently touch a part of the body that normally does not have hair, hair may grow. Injections can be painful. Do a lot of research before trying a new treatment and make a decision based on your own personal feelings. Ask, "Is it worth it?" For those who are more comfortable with natural methods, it has been discovered in Sefer Ta’amei Minhagim, an extract of hadassim (myrtle) leaves, sometimes works. Some opt to just deal with the situation using headbands and big bows, or combing existing hair over the bald spot. For those who prefer it, a wig may be the best option. Malky, in her many years of research, has learned that Milano now offers a line of wigs for children. Malky’s advice is to use a silicone - top wig that adheres very well. Malky looks back on her teen years and shares, “I didn’t hide it but I didn’t advertise it either. Most of my friends never knew. I tried to be creative even though sometimes it got me in trouble, like at camp when I would insist on wearing a baseball cap; it was frowned upon as being not frum enough. 34 | fyimagazineny.com "By my senior year, it was much better but I still didn’t publicize it. I once gave a d’var Torah and discussed the mohn (manna) that the Jewish people complained about. Here we were with the ultimate in a perfect food. Yet, we found fault. I compared it to high school girls constantly talking about having a ‘bad hair’ day without realizing how grateful they should be to have a head of hair that beautifies the face so well. Only my closest friends knew how true this really was." Shaindy Kleinman, a well-known speaker, put it so well when she spoke at a Hairoes event. “We know that each blade of grass has a malach (an angel) guiding it in its growth. Is it possible then that the head of a Jewish child has no malach? Alopecia comes from Hashem, like everything else. Therefore, we know it’s good. It’s up to us to learn to use the situation and grow from it.” fyi in•session My Siblings Don’t Watch Their Kids WRITTEN BY ROCHELLI STERNHEIM If you or someone you know has alopecia, there is hope. To join the many events planned at Hairoes and engage in this caring and supportive community, you are invited to visit Hairoes.org or send an email to hairoesny@gmail.com. Malky is happy to provide myrtle spray for anyone with alopecia, but gives no guarantees on the success of the product. Email her at newjerseycap@gmail.com. Remember to visit Hairoes.org or email hairoesny@gmail.com today. They can help you. See this month's issue of myFYI for an interview with Tehila Yoffe, who has alopecia. Q: I go to my parents’ house I’m not a helicopter parent. I have for Yom Tov and it is a treat spoken to my family about this but I look forward to all year. There is they don’t think it’s an issue. There one issue that ruins my Yom Tov, have already been situations where though. I am always left watching children have ran out of the house all of my nieces and nephews, as a result of the lack of supervision. including my own kids in the afternoons, while my siblings nap. My siblings have a pretty relaxed Rocheli Sternheim is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Lakewood N.J. Rocheli is passionate about helping people help themselves. Email your questions to info@fyimagazine.com. So I am the one that watches the kids all day, which means I don't get to socialize, relax, or enjoy myself. I attitude when it comes to am so resentful, and more than the supervising their children. The bother of taking over my siblings’ parents go to sleep or relax and parental responsibilities, the anger leave their children unattended in really kills my Yom Tov and I end up the playroom, and I end up being being in a bad mood. How can I the caretaker of all kids. I feel that impress upon my siblings the children need to be under a importance of supervising their watchful eye at all times- and no children so that I can get a break? 35 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  SHARE THE FACT         THAT YOU HAVE A   WIG WITH YOUR     CLASSMATES. DON   T   TRY TO HI...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE SHARE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A WIG WITH YOUR CLASSMATES. DON’T TRY TO HIDE IT. LET THEM PARTICIPATE IN THE ‘FUN’ OF HAVING A WIG BY COMBING IT, AND MAKING BRAIDS." talents, my aspirations – all of me! "I currently assist at a support group called New Jersey Cap, and this is the main thing I stress. ‘Don’t let alopecia define you. You are not alopecia. You are a person, a terrific person!’ A member of the group once refused to attend an event. Not because she was embarrassed or had any hang-ups about the alopecia. Simply because she didn’t consider herself an alopecia ‘victim.’ Just a person who happens to have alopecia.” Because there are many creams used to treat alopecia, Malky advises to try as many of them as needed. Some will work for one person while others may not. Some creams sting. Some are so strong that if they inadvertently touch a part of the body that normally does not have hair, hair may grow. Injections can be painful. Do a lot of research before trying a new treatment and make a decision based on your own personal feelings. Ask, "Is it worth it?" For those who are more comfortable with natural methods, it has been discovered in Sefer Ta’amei Minhagim, an extract of hadassim (myrtle) leaves, sometimes works. Some opt to just deal with the situation using headbands and big bows, or combing existing hair over the bald spot. For those who prefer it, a wig may be the best option. Malky, in her many years of research, has learned that Milano now offers a line of wigs for children. Malky’s advice is to use a silicone - top wig that adheres very well. Malky looks back on her teen years and shares, “I didn’t hide it but I didn’t advertise it either. Most of my friends never knew. I tried to be creative even though sometimes it got me in trouble, like at camp when I would insist on wearing a baseball cap; it was frowned upon as being not frum enough. 34 | fyimagazineny.com "By my senior year, it was much better but I still didn’t publicize it. I once gave a d’var Torah and discussed the mohn (manna) that the Jewish people complained about. Here we were with the ultimate in a perfect food. Yet, we found fault. I compared it to high school girls constantly talking about having a ‘bad hair’ day without realizing how grateful they should be to have a head of hair that beautifies the face so well. Only my closest friends knew how true this really was." Shaindy Kleinman, a well-known speaker, put it so well when she spoke at a Hairoes event. “We know that each blade of grass has a malach (an angel) guiding it in its growth. Is it possible then that the head of a Jewish child has no malach? Alopecia comes from Hashem, like everything else. Therefore, we know it’s good. It’s up to us to learn to use the situation and grow from it.” fyi in•session My Siblings Don’t Watch Their Kids WRITTEN BY ROCHELLI STERNHEIM If you or someone you know has alopecia, there is hope. To join the many events planned at Hairoes and engage in this caring and supportive community, you are invited to visit Hairoes.org or send an email to hairoesny@gmail.com. Malky is happy to provide myrtle spray for anyone with alopecia, but gives no guarantees on the success of the product. Email her at newjerseycap@gmail.com. Remember to visit Hairoes.org or email hairoesny@gmail.com today. They can help you. See this month's issue of myFYI for an interview with Tehila Yoffe, who has alopecia. Q: I go to my parents’ house I’m not a helicopter parent. I have for Yom Tov and it is a treat spoken to my family about this but I look forward to all year. There is they don’t think it’s an issue. There one issue that ruins my Yom Tov, have already been situations where though. I am always left watching children have ran out of the house all of my nieces and nephews, as a result of the lack of supervision. including my own kids in the afternoons, while my siblings nap. My siblings have a pretty relaxed Rocheli Sternheim is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Lakewood N.J. Rocheli is passionate about helping people help themselves. Email your questions to info@fyimagazine.com. So I am the one that watches the kids all day, which means I don't get to socialize, relax, or enjoy myself. I attitude when it comes to am so resentful, and more than the supervising their children. The bother of taking over my siblings’ parents go to sleep or relax and parental responsibilities, the anger leave their children unattended in really kills my Yom Tov and I end up the playroom, and I end up being being in a bad mood. How can I the caretaker of all kids. I feel that impress upon my siblings the children need to be under a importance of supervising their watchful eye at all times- and no children so that I can get a break? 35 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  SHARE THE FACT         THAT YOU HAVE A   WIG WITH YOUR     CLASSMATES. DON   T   TRY TO HI...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE A: Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your childrens' feelings of security that comes from feeling safe and taken care of. Good for you that you are not just accepting and embracing an attitude of parenting that can be potentially dangerous and sticking up for what's right, even though it costs you time and effort. I can imagine that it's downright exhausting tending to so many children, all day, every day. You really want to lighten your burden by somehow getting your siblings to recognize that we live in a complicated world and we need to watch our kids, and that you are not being overprotective by providing basic supervision. You are so frustrated that your attempts to create a fair system to address this problem has fallen on deaf ears. Your question is how to influence your siblings to change and unfortunately I have no answer, because the only person you can realistically change is yourself. You may need to come to accept that they will not change and you will still be a responsible parent and do what you feel is right. Perhaps we can shift the question to how you can have a more enjoyable Yom Tov by freeing yourself of the anger and resentment that's eating you up. Doing things that take sacrifice and energy by themselves don't cause us to feel anger and resentment if we associate the sacrifice with positive results and growth. Many significant and happy occasions take energy and some sacrifice. Take for example giving birth, marrying off a child, or even preparing to go on a nice vacation. They all take work, time, maybe sleep, and some level of sacrifice. We generally feel willing to sacrifice for situations we perceive as positive. I'm using these 36 | fyimagazineny.com examples to illustrate that your thoughts and feelings surrounding a particular situation greatly influence how you perceive work and sacrifice. When you are spending your day watching your children plus your nieces and nephews, you are probably thinking, "This is not fair, why am I doing everyone else's job while they get to relax and socialize?" You feel like the victim of your family's irresponsibility. Now, I'm not implying that what your family is doing is okay and fair. I am proposing that you can help yourself feel better about the situation by shifting your perspective. How about shifting your perspective from a victim of your family's unfairness to viewing yourself as a strong person who does what's right even when it is inconvenient, hard, and unpopular? Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your childrens' feelings of security that comes from feeling safe and taken care of. Your siblings have nothing to do with you. You are doing the right thing for your children and nieces and nephews, and you can be proud of yourself. Have you ever spent your entire day comforting a sad, feverish child? It's hard work that leaves you completely exhausted, but hopefully not angry and resentful. You get a good feeling from knowing that you did for your child what only a parent can do, and helped your child feel loved even when in pain. When you do the right thing in any role, whether it be as a parent, friend, spouse, or child, you can feel good about yourself, because it feels great to make good choices. You made a good choice given your circumstance, and you can be proud of yourself. I hope that helps, you have a meaningful and uplifting Yom Tov. fyi “ If you want to fly, QUOTES THAT INSPIRE you have to give up the things that weigh you “ IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOU, YOU WILL NOT GET ANYONE ELSE TO LIKE YOU.” “Losers stop when they fail; winners fail until they succeed.” 37 | fyimagazineny.com down.” “Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” “You have very little power over what feelings arise, but what you choose to do with them is your responsibility.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  A   Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE A: Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your childrens' feelings of security that comes from feeling safe and taken care of. Good for you that you are not just accepting and embracing an attitude of parenting that can be potentially dangerous and sticking up for what's right, even though it costs you time and effort. I can imagine that it's downright exhausting tending to so many children, all day, every day. You really want to lighten your burden by somehow getting your siblings to recognize that we live in a complicated world and we need to watch our kids, and that you are not being overprotective by providing basic supervision. You are so frustrated that your attempts to create a fair system to address this problem has fallen on deaf ears. Your question is how to influence your siblings to change and unfortunately I have no answer, because the only person you can realistically change is yourself. You may need to come to accept that they will not change and you will still be a responsible parent and do what you feel is right. Perhaps we can shift the question to how you can have a more enjoyable Yom Tov by freeing yourself of the anger and resentment that's eating you up. Doing things that take sacrifice and energy by themselves don't cause us to feel anger and resentment if we associate the sacrifice with positive results and growth. Many significant and happy occasions take energy and some sacrifice. Take for example giving birth, marrying off a child, or even preparing to go on a nice vacation. They all take work, time, maybe sleep, and some level of sacrifice. We generally feel willing to sacrifice for situations we perceive as positive. I'm using these 36 | fyimagazineny.com examples to illustrate that your thoughts and feelings surrounding a particular situation greatly influence how you perceive work and sacrifice. When you are spending your day watching your children plus your nieces and nephews, you are probably thinking, "This is not fair, why am I doing everyone else's job while they get to relax and socialize?" You feel like the victim of your family's irresponsibility. Now, I'm not implying that what your family is doing is okay and fair. I am proposing that you can help yourself feel better about the situation by shifting your perspective. How about shifting your perspective from a victim of your family's unfairness to viewing yourself as a strong person who does what's right even when it is inconvenient, hard, and unpopular? Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your childrens' feelings of security that comes from feeling safe and taken care of. Your siblings have nothing to do with you. You are doing the right thing for your children and nieces and nephews, and you can be proud of yourself. Have you ever spent your entire day comforting a sad, feverish child? It's hard work that leaves you completely exhausted, but hopefully not angry and resentful. You get a good feeling from knowing that you did for your child what only a parent can do, and helped your child feel loved even when in pain. When you do the right thing in any role, whether it be as a parent, friend, spouse, or child, you can feel good about yourself, because it feels great to make good choices. You made a good choice given your circumstance, and you can be proud of yourself. I hope that helps, you have a meaningful and uplifting Yom Tov. fyi “ If you want to fly, QUOTES THAT INSPIRE you have to give up the things that weigh you “ IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOU, YOU WILL NOT GET ANYONE ELSE TO LIKE YOU.” “Losers stop when they fail; winners fail until they succeed.” 37 | fyimagazineny.com down.” “Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” “You have very little power over what feelings arise, but what you choose to do with them is your responsibility.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  A   Recognize that you are a strong, responsible, good parent who is contributing to your ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE real•life Inspirational story 1 FOR EVERY BREATH As a child, I never dreamed that I would have to budget my energy, counting every breath I took. These are not the thoughts of a child who runs and plays, goes to school, and thinks childishly about what to do “when I grow up.” I did all of those things, but with a shadow in the background that whispered of something different, scary, and unknown. AS TOLD TO MINDY T. 38 | fyimagazineny.com 39 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  real   life  Inspirational story 1  FOR EVERY  BREATH As a child, I never dreamed that I w...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE real•life Inspirational story 1 FOR EVERY BREATH As a child, I never dreamed that I would have to budget my energy, counting every breath I took. These are not the thoughts of a child who runs and plays, goes to school, and thinks childishly about what to do “when I grow up.” I did all of those things, but with a shadow in the background that whispered of something different, scary, and unknown. AS TOLD TO MINDY T. 38 | fyimagazineny.com 39 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  real   life  Inspirational story 1  FOR EVERY  BREATH As a child, I never dreamed that I w...
LOVE YOUR LIFE I was born with cystic fibrosis, a chronic condition that affects the lungs and weakens them over time. Frequent lung infections and strong coughs were the norm, and at a young age, I was aware that I was different. I was fortunate then that I didn’t know the statistics, didn’t dream how serious it would later become. And so I was a child... learning, playing, secretly afraid. Since my symptoms weren’t obvious, my family preferred to keep this matter private. I learned to weigh my words so that I wouldn’t slip up in conversation and give away my secret to other kids who wouldn’t understand. Maybe I seemed shy, because I was terrified to get too close and have somebody find out my secret. The end of high school brings graduations, goodbyes, excited plans for seminary and beyond. As my classmates eagerly planned their year in Eretz Yisrael, my high school graduation found me looking into hospitals, with my symptoms going downhill fast. My pulmonologist had recommended finding another specialist; any seminary plans were eclipsed by the LOVE YOUR LIFE desire to breathe and live. None of my friends would have imagined this in their wildest dreams. As my class scattered over various seminaries with everyone doing their own thing, I felt like I was on a different planet. My mother remained supportively by my side, but I was so alone, so scared. I hadn’t had major symptoms as a child, but as I grew older, the lung infections, constant coughing, and shortness of breath were becoming overwhelming. I knew I had a chronic condition. Wishing for a quick fix cure was unrealistic. Every few weeks would find me back in Boston Hospital with yet another lung infection. Did I treasure each day of life I had, each moment when I breathed easily? I was trapped at the mercy of my lungs, with so many goals to accomplish and no way of reaching them. Each time I was released from the hospital, I knew I’d be back soon. How would I ever do anything while trapped in a hospital bed, struggling to breathe? The thought stung. Was I wasting my time in the hospital, achieving nothing and just going in circles? The anxiety of test results and bad news from doctors overshadowed everything. I couldn’t live this way, just as I couldn’t live without breathing. And that’s when I began to “refurbish” both my room and more importantly, my attitude. I was able to walk down the hall. I had the strength to sit up in a chair! These were moments which I was so grateful for and never wanted to forget. My hospital room slowly filled up with colorful post-it notes, describing one thing I thanked Hashem for each day. I was hospitalized long enough to cover the walls completely with these notes of thanks, and my doctors and 40 | fyimagazineny.com nurses would read them. If I could find these sparks of kindness, I knew Hashem hadn’t forgotten me. I could still spread positivity from my (now colorful) hospital room. My friends had heard that I was sick. They would call to see how I was, but no one really knew how bad it was. The next four years passed in a haze of tests, oxygen, and survival. Slowly, the disease progressed, and I “celebrated” my 23rd birthday by receiving an oxygen tank. People assured me that this was temporary, just until I could breathe on my own. But I never could. This drove home how sick I really was, functioning on limited oxygen, and also made it obvious to others, who hadn’t known before. Outside, people walked, ran, rode by on bicycles. How did they ever have the strength?! Somewhere in the back of my mind, theoretically, I knew that people with CF could need a lung transplant. But when the doctors started talking about it, I was shocked. People dealing with this reality know that doctors don’t begin to speak of a transplant unless that’s the only option for survival. Clearly, my lungs were failing. It was so sudden! I had lived a basically normal childhood, and had gone downhill so fast. I wasn’t mentally prepared to replace one lung, let alone both. Still, I reassured myself that they were just bringing it up; maybe I’d need it someday in the future. At least, that’s what I thought, until I woke up one night in bed, and heard them murmuring “transfer...helicopter.” I had not dreamed of this! When faced with a medical recommendation of this magnitude, many people consult with specialists, consider it, and decide if If I could find these sparks of kindness, I knew Hashem hadn’t forgotten me. I could still spread positivity from my (now colorful) hospital room. it’s an option. All that flew out the window. I didn’t need to decide if I would go ahead with the transplant. This was my chance to live and I would grab it with both hands. But that was only the beginning. I spent the summer hooked up to oxygen on a plane, traveling to transplant centers. Finding a hospital I trusted was complicating enough, but I also needed to be approved as a viable candidate for surgery. It was so frustrating to wait. This was my ticket to life, and I wanted to just do it! But unfortunately, the waiting list is long, and when a pair of lungs becomes available, the hospital personnel consider who will receive them. They think about how critically ill a candidate is, how close he/she is to the city where the lungs are, the patient’s blood type and medical history, and how likely the transplant is to be successful. I was placed on the waiting list of two hospitals in New York and in Pittsburgh. And so began the wait. They could call at any time of any day, so I carried my phone everywhere, which was less common than in today’s era of cell phones. Meanwhile, I budgeted my energy. I moved my clothes to the top drawer so I wouldn’t need to bend down to reach them. I ate simple meals, because if I used energy to prepare food, I had no strength left to eat it. 41 | fyimagazineny.com Ironically, my limited energy was used to exercise, since I needed to gain strength to withstand the surgery. I would spend my day at the pulmonary rehab center doing exercises to strengthen my lungs, while my heart rate and blood pressure were monitored. I needed to wear sneakers, but I couldn’t muster the strength to tie my laces. Still, I was determined. I bought slip-on sneakers, and followed all the exercises. I wanted to live. We received a few calls about available lungs, but they fell through. It was only the 3rd call, on a Thursday in August of 2009, which seemed likely to work out. Still, I was “lucky” that I waited only several weeks. Hastily, my mother took down all the post-its, which we later arranged in a notebook of gratefulness. I was airlifted from Boston to the hospital in New York, but once there, our hopes were dashed. The doctors took one look at me and shook their heads. I was too fragile, too sick, to make it through the surgery. “Stay in the ICU,” they told me. “Maybe you’ll get stronger and we can do it.” But we knew that wasn’t happening. This was my only hope! There was no next step. It was Shabbos morning. I wasn’t aware of anything except straining to breathe. The effort was tremendous. With each effort, my body rose off the bed, only to sink back down and struggle to take another breath. It was amid all this that my mother heard the cell phone vibrating. We had already received a call about lungs, but she had given up on it. Who could be calling us now? It was Pittsburgh. They had a pair of lungs. Two sets of lungs within a few days; the odds were impossible! My mother worried whether I could
LOVE YOUR LIFE  I  was born with cystic fibrosis, a chronic condition that affects the lungs and weakens them over time. F...
LOVE YOUR LIFE I was born with cystic fibrosis, a chronic condition that affects the lungs and weakens them over time. Frequent lung infections and strong coughs were the norm, and at a young age, I was aware that I was different. I was fortunate then that I didn’t know the statistics, didn’t dream how serious it would later become. And so I was a child... learning, playing, secretly afraid. Since my symptoms weren’t obvious, my family preferred to keep this matter private. I learned to weigh my words so that I wouldn’t slip up in conversation and give away my secret to other kids who wouldn’t understand. Maybe I seemed shy, because I was terrified to get too close and have somebody find out my secret. The end of high school brings graduations, goodbyes, excited plans for seminary and beyond. As my classmates eagerly planned their year in Eretz Yisrael, my high school graduation found me looking into hospitals, with my symptoms going downhill fast. My pulmonologist had recommended finding another specialist; any seminary plans were eclipsed by the LOVE YOUR LIFE desire to breathe and live. None of my friends would have imagined this in their wildest dreams. As my class scattered over various seminaries with everyone doing their own thing, I felt like I was on a different planet. My mother remained supportively by my side, but I was so alone, so scared. I hadn’t had major symptoms as a child, but as I grew older, the lung infections, constant coughing, and shortness of breath were becoming overwhelming. I knew I had a chronic condition. Wishing for a quick fix cure was unrealistic. Every few weeks would find me back in Boston Hospital with yet another lung infection. Did I treasure each day of life I had, each moment when I breathed easily? I was trapped at the mercy of my lungs, with so many goals to accomplish and no way of reaching them. Each time I was released from the hospital, I knew I’d be back soon. How would I ever do anything while trapped in a hospital bed, struggling to breathe? The thought stung. Was I wasting my time in the hospital, achieving nothing and just going in circles? The anxiety of test results and bad news from doctors overshadowed everything. I couldn’t live this way, just as I couldn’t live without breathing. And that’s when I began to “refurbish” both my room and more importantly, my attitude. I was able to walk down the hall. I had the strength to sit up in a chair! These were moments which I was so grateful for and never wanted to forget. My hospital room slowly filled up with colorful post-it notes, describing one thing I thanked Hashem for each day. I was hospitalized long enough to cover the walls completely with these notes of thanks, and my doctors and 40 | fyimagazineny.com nurses would read them. If I could find these sparks of kindness, I knew Hashem hadn’t forgotten me. I could still spread positivity from my (now colorful) hospital room. My friends had heard that I was sick. They would call to see how I was, but no one really knew how bad it was. The next four years passed in a haze of tests, oxygen, and survival. Slowly, the disease progressed, and I “celebrated” my 23rd birthday by receiving an oxygen tank. People assured me that this was temporary, just until I could breathe on my own. But I never could. This drove home how sick I really was, functioning on limited oxygen, and also made it obvious to others, who hadn’t known before. Outside, people walked, ran, rode by on bicycles. How did they ever have the strength?! Somewhere in the back of my mind, theoretically, I knew that people with CF could need a lung transplant. But when the doctors started talking about it, I was shocked. People dealing with this reality know that doctors don’t begin to speak of a transplant unless that’s the only option for survival. Clearly, my lungs were failing. It was so sudden! I had lived a basically normal childhood, and had gone downhill so fast. I wasn’t mentally prepared to replace one lung, let alone both. Still, I reassured myself that they were just bringing it up; maybe I’d need it someday in the future. At least, that’s what I thought, until I woke up one night in bed, and heard them murmuring “transfer...helicopter.” I had not dreamed of this! When faced with a medical recommendation of this magnitude, many people consult with specialists, consider it, and decide if If I could find these sparks of kindness, I knew Hashem hadn’t forgotten me. I could still spread positivity from my (now colorful) hospital room. it’s an option. All that flew out the window. I didn’t need to decide if I would go ahead with the transplant. This was my chance to live and I would grab it with both hands. But that was only the beginning. I spent the summer hooked up to oxygen on a plane, traveling to transplant centers. Finding a hospital I trusted was complicating enough, but I also needed to be approved as a viable candidate for surgery. It was so frustrating to wait. This was my ticket to life, and I wanted to just do it! But unfortunately, the waiting list is long, and when a pair of lungs becomes available, the hospital personnel consider who will receive them. They think about how critically ill a candidate is, how close he/she is to the city where the lungs are, the patient’s blood type and medical history, and how likely the transplant is to be successful. I was placed on the waiting list of two hospitals in New York and in Pittsburgh. And so began the wait. They could call at any time of any day, so I carried my phone everywhere, which was less common than in today’s era of cell phones. Meanwhile, I budgeted my energy. I moved my clothes to the top drawer so I wouldn’t need to bend down to reach them. I ate simple meals, because if I used energy to prepare food, I had no strength left to eat it. 41 | fyimagazineny.com Ironically, my limited energy was used to exercise, since I needed to gain strength to withstand the surgery. I would spend my day at the pulmonary rehab center doing exercises to strengthen my lungs, while my heart rate and blood pressure were monitored. I needed to wear sneakers, but I couldn’t muster the strength to tie my laces. Still, I was determined. I bought slip-on sneakers, and followed all the exercises. I wanted to live. We received a few calls about available lungs, but they fell through. It was only the 3rd call, on a Thursday in August of 2009, which seemed likely to work out. Still, I was “lucky” that I waited only several weeks. Hastily, my mother took down all the post-its, which we later arranged in a notebook of gratefulness. I was airlifted from Boston to the hospital in New York, but once there, our hopes were dashed. The doctors took one look at me and shook their heads. I was too fragile, too sick, to make it through the surgery. “Stay in the ICU,” they told me. “Maybe you’ll get stronger and we can do it.” But we knew that wasn’t happening. This was my only hope! There was no next step. It was Shabbos morning. I wasn’t aware of anything except straining to breathe. The effort was tremendous. With each effort, my body rose off the bed, only to sink back down and struggle to take another breath. It was amid all this that my mother heard the cell phone vibrating. We had already received a call about lungs, but she had given up on it. Who could be calling us now? It was Pittsburgh. They had a pair of lungs. Two sets of lungs within a few days; the odds were impossible! My mother worried whether I could
LOVE YOUR LIFE  I  was born with cystic fibrosis, a chronic condition that affects the lungs and weakens them over time. F...
LOVE YOUR LIFE make it to Pittsburgh. With my last strength I heaved myself off the bed. “Let’s do it.” I was airlifted to Pittsburgh immediately. I kept my eyes open on the plane; I was scared that if they closed, I couldn’t open them again. The pre-operative prep lasted until Motzei Shabbos, and I begged them to just take me in and perform the double lung transplant. My family called, but I couldn’t speak. It was Slichos night. The delicate surgery lasted nine hours, and both of my lungs were replaced. The next thing I was aware of was my mother screaming that my cheeks were pink instead of a dull grey. I would need to relearn how to walk, breathe, and even get used to eating again. It was so symbolic to start off the new year with the miracle of new life. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur went by. I wished I could daven fully, but I managed to say Unisaneh Tokef. I was whispering “Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus.” The words jumped out at me. Who had to die so that I would have a chance to live? I remained in Pittsburgh for three months. It was December before I returned home to a very different life. A transplant is not a miracle cure; it brings many long-term changes in its wake. I was incomparably better; I could breathe and walk and live again! This was a huge milestone. I had to live with the new reality of strong medications and safeguarding my health, but I could breathe without giving it a second thought. Four years later, I was hospitalized again. A friend who was visiting broached the subject carefully. “Rivky,” she began, “You’ve been in the hospital so many times. You’ve learned so many lessons. I wish there was a LOVE YOUR LIFE how•they•did•it MAKING BIG BEAUTIFUL WRITTEN BY ZELDY ZILBER I met Roizy Reisman when she invited me to visit her store that carries her exclusive I wished I could daven fully, but I managed to say Unisaneh Tokef. I was whispering plus size line, catering to women and girls. Intrigued, I set out to to hear more about it from Roizy herself, the amazing woman behind it all. Beautifull Boutique is a unique clothing line with an important mission, which Roizy says is her passion in life. “Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus.” The words jumped out at me. Who had to die so that I would have a chance to live? way for you to share them!” I agreed. After my transplant, Birchos HaShachar took on new meaning, because each of them applied to something specific in my case. For example, when I was able to dress normally instead of living in a hospital gown, saying “malbish arumim” was different. I wanted to share my new awareness. My friend encouraged me, and this became my new project. When my Birchas HaShachar cards were published, I felt like my time in the hospital hadn’t been wasted. I had grown from it, and I had shared my growth with others. It was during 42 | fyimagazineny.com this time that I began to speak in schools and share my story. Getting my life back was incredible, and I was deeply grateful. But there was more good in store for me. About a year and a half ago, I met my husband, a special and considerate person who survived two heart transplants as a young child. Our shared challenges only deepened our connection, and we considered this to be another kindness sent to us from Hashem. Chazal tell us “Al kol neshima she’adam nasheim, tzarich l’kaleis l’borao.”  Praise Hashem for every breath you take. And I do. fyi “T here is such a lack of options for the plus size community. I decided to change that by designing modest, youthful and fashionable clothing for plus size females.” Roizy explains, “So far, we’ve gotten a lot of amazing feedback. People come in crying, telling me I’m doing a tremendous mitzvah by giving dignity back to so many ladies and girls.” “My dream was always to make a difference in people’s lives,” Roizy tells me, the warmth of empathy coming through in every word, “My goal is to help other women and girls that don’t fit society's mold, to feel good about themselves.” “I’ve had people ask me why I don’t expand to include smaller sizes, but I answer them that there is already so much for thin people; my focus is in helping plus size people feel good with themselves. It’s not just a store I’m running; it’s a movement to change the way we feel, and to change the way other people perceive these wonderful women. I want you to embrace who you are, at whatever weight you are, with whatever you are going through.” “So, if it’s a movement you want to start, to influence people, how do you think you can do that?” I ask Roizy. A recent study lead by Julie Lumeng, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, showed that despite normative interactions, some children still experience bullying. Alarmingly, weight plays a significant role in determining who will become a victim. "When we started this study, I really suspected we might find that the obesity or overweight might not 43 | fyimagazineny.com be the driving force," Lumeng said. "What we found is that it didn't matter. No matter how good your social skills, if you were overweight or obese, you were more likely to be bullied." In fact, the study showed that there is a 63% chance for an overweight teenage girl to experience ongoing negative peer attention, while teenage boys follow closely behind with a 53% chance in becoming a victim compared to their normal-weight peers. These children often experience frequent and painful teasings, rejections, and even physical altercations — all of which eat away at feelings of self-worth. “I know how these kids feel,” Roizy continues. “Growing up, I was bullied a lot, and most of it came because of my weight.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  make it to Pittsburgh. With my last strength I heaved myself off the bed.    Let   s do it.    I was airli...
LOVE YOUR LIFE make it to Pittsburgh. With my last strength I heaved myself off the bed. “Let’s do it.” I was airlifted to Pittsburgh immediately. I kept my eyes open on the plane; I was scared that if they closed, I couldn’t open them again. The pre-operative prep lasted until Motzei Shabbos, and I begged them to just take me in and perform the double lung transplant. My family called, but I couldn’t speak. It was Slichos night. The delicate surgery lasted nine hours, and both of my lungs were replaced. The next thing I was aware of was my mother screaming that my cheeks were pink instead of a dull grey. I would need to relearn how to walk, breathe, and even get used to eating again. It was so symbolic to start off the new year with the miracle of new life. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur went by. I wished I could daven fully, but I managed to say Unisaneh Tokef. I was whispering “Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus.” The words jumped out at me. Who had to die so that I would have a chance to live? I remained in Pittsburgh for three months. It was December before I returned home to a very different life. A transplant is not a miracle cure; it brings many long-term changes in its wake. I was incomparably better; I could breathe and walk and live again! This was a huge milestone. I had to live with the new reality of strong medications and safeguarding my health, but I could breathe without giving it a second thought. Four years later, I was hospitalized again. A friend who was visiting broached the subject carefully. “Rivky,” she began, “You’ve been in the hospital so many times. You’ve learned so many lessons. I wish there was a LOVE YOUR LIFE how•they•did•it MAKING BIG BEAUTIFUL WRITTEN BY ZELDY ZILBER I met Roizy Reisman when she invited me to visit her store that carries her exclusive I wished I could daven fully, but I managed to say Unisaneh Tokef. I was whispering plus size line, catering to women and girls. Intrigued, I set out to to hear more about it from Roizy herself, the amazing woman behind it all. Beautifull Boutique is a unique clothing line with an important mission, which Roizy says is her passion in life. “Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus.” The words jumped out at me. Who had to die so that I would have a chance to live? way for you to share them!” I agreed. After my transplant, Birchos HaShachar took on new meaning, because each of them applied to something specific in my case. For example, when I was able to dress normally instead of living in a hospital gown, saying “malbish arumim” was different. I wanted to share my new awareness. My friend encouraged me, and this became my new project. When my Birchas HaShachar cards were published, I felt like my time in the hospital hadn’t been wasted. I had grown from it, and I had shared my growth with others. It was during 42 | fyimagazineny.com this time that I began to speak in schools and share my story. Getting my life back was incredible, and I was deeply grateful. But there was more good in store for me. About a year and a half ago, I met my husband, a special and considerate person who survived two heart transplants as a young child. Our shared challenges only deepened our connection, and we considered this to be another kindness sent to us from Hashem. Chazal tell us “Al kol neshima she’adam nasheim, tzarich l’kaleis l’borao.”  Praise Hashem for every breath you take. And I do. fyi “T here is such a lack of options for the plus size community. I decided to change that by designing modest, youthful and fashionable clothing for plus size females.” Roizy explains, “So far, we’ve gotten a lot of amazing feedback. People come in crying, telling me I’m doing a tremendous mitzvah by giving dignity back to so many ladies and girls.” “My dream was always to make a difference in people’s lives,” Roizy tells me, the warmth of empathy coming through in every word, “My goal is to help other women and girls that don’t fit society's mold, to feel good about themselves.” “I’ve had people ask me why I don’t expand to include smaller sizes, but I answer them that there is already so much for thin people; my focus is in helping plus size people feel good with themselves. It’s not just a store I’m running; it’s a movement to change the way we feel, and to change the way other people perceive these wonderful women. I want you to embrace who you are, at whatever weight you are, with whatever you are going through.” “So, if it’s a movement you want to start, to influence people, how do you think you can do that?” I ask Roizy. A recent study lead by Julie Lumeng, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, showed that despite normative interactions, some children still experience bullying. Alarmingly, weight plays a significant role in determining who will become a victim. "When we started this study, I really suspected we might find that the obesity or overweight might not 43 | fyimagazineny.com be the driving force," Lumeng said. "What we found is that it didn't matter. No matter how good your social skills, if you were overweight or obese, you were more likely to be bullied." In fact, the study showed that there is a 63% chance for an overweight teenage girl to experience ongoing negative peer attention, while teenage boys follow closely behind with a 53% chance in becoming a victim compared to their normal-weight peers. These children often experience frequent and painful teasings, rejections, and even physical altercations — all of which eat away at feelings of self-worth. “I know how these kids feel,” Roizy continues. “Growing up, I was bullied a lot, and most of it came because of my weight.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  make it to Pittsburgh. With my last strength I heaved myself off the bed.    Let   s do it.    I was airli...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE When Roizy speaks, she sounds surprisingly confident, considering her painful background. “I’m from a family of nine children,” Roizy tells me, “and my parents divorced when I was 18. My childhood home life was always difficult. I ate out of emotion". “I used to walk into stores, and the salesladies would tell me right away that they didn’t carry my size. It was hard knowing that I was big, and that I stood out.” The sunshine-filled days of camp were especially difficult. The T-shirts and slinky skirts that girls her age wore just weren’t available in the larger sizes Roizy required. Despite spending hours searching every store in town, she was never able to find age-appropriate clothing. It was emotionally traumatic for a teen girl with a sensitive self-image to have to wear clothing made for a matronly woman. “I couldn’t find clothing that would let me feel my age. Teen girls want so badly to fit in, to be dressed like their classmates in the same styles, but it just wasn’t available.” For many overweight women, this sentiment is echoed loud and clear. Despite youth and the natural desire for pretty things, designers have typically aimed at providing small-sized women with many styles and cuts of clothing, while sadly neglecting the heavier segment of society. Being frequently excluded from current trends, these women often find shopping a dreaded routine that leaves many of them wallowing in the throes of self-consciousness and negativity, without even a pretty dress to hide behind. It wasn’t always this way, though. Reaching into the annals of history, we find that women who packed on the pounds were especially viewed as beautiful. Take the Renaissance 44 | fyimagazineny.com PEOPLE COME IN CRYING, TELLING ME I’M DOING A TREMENDOUS MITZVAH BY GIVING DIGNITY BACK TO SO MANY LADIES AND GIRLS.” period, for instance; what would now be considered “plus size” women were frequently painted as tokens of beauty and fertility. Weight was always considered the sure-fire sign of members of high society, while thinness was symbolic of the starving masses. Only in the early 1900s did the current mindset of “thin is in” begin to take 45 | fyimagazineny.com over in Western society. In other parts of the world, however, “bigger” is still “better.” As with everything in life, a happy medium of neither under- nor over-weight is best for our physical health, but mental health is another story. That’s something that ought be obtained no matter which end of the spectrum one finds herself on.
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  When Roizy speaks, she sounds surprisingly confident, considering her painful background. ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE When Roizy speaks, she sounds surprisingly confident, considering her painful background. “I’m from a family of nine children,” Roizy tells me, “and my parents divorced when I was 18. My childhood home life was always difficult. I ate out of emotion". “I used to walk into stores, and the salesladies would tell me right away that they didn’t carry my size. It was hard knowing that I was big, and that I stood out.” The sunshine-filled days of camp were especially difficult. The T-shirts and slinky skirts that girls her age wore just weren’t available in the larger sizes Roizy required. Despite spending hours searching every store in town, she was never able to find age-appropriate clothing. It was emotionally traumatic for a teen girl with a sensitive self-image to have to wear clothing made for a matronly woman. “I couldn’t find clothing that would let me feel my age. Teen girls want so badly to fit in, to be dressed like their classmates in the same styles, but it just wasn’t available.” For many overweight women, this sentiment is echoed loud and clear. Despite youth and the natural desire for pretty things, designers have typically aimed at providing small-sized women with many styles and cuts of clothing, while sadly neglecting the heavier segment of society. Being frequently excluded from current trends, these women often find shopping a dreaded routine that leaves many of them wallowing in the throes of self-consciousness and negativity, without even a pretty dress to hide behind. It wasn’t always this way, though. Reaching into the annals of history, we find that women who packed on the pounds were especially viewed as beautiful. Take the Renaissance 44 | fyimagazineny.com PEOPLE COME IN CRYING, TELLING ME I’M DOING A TREMENDOUS MITZVAH BY GIVING DIGNITY BACK TO SO MANY LADIES AND GIRLS.” period, for instance; what would now be considered “plus size” women were frequently painted as tokens of beauty and fertility. Weight was always considered the sure-fire sign of members of high society, while thinness was symbolic of the starving masses. Only in the early 1900s did the current mindset of “thin is in” begin to take 45 | fyimagazineny.com over in Western society. In other parts of the world, however, “bigger” is still “better.” As with everything in life, a happy medium of neither under- nor over-weight is best for our physical health, but mental health is another story. That’s something that ought be obtained no matter which end of the spectrum one finds herself on.
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  When Roizy speaks, she sounds surprisingly confident, considering her painful background. ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE When I ask Roizy if she is now comfortable with being overweight, she says, “Every morning you have to embrace who you are and admit that you are trying your very best.” “Whatever reason a person is heavy, whether it’s because of emotional eating, or a health condition, we are still meant to bake and cook and eat, just like other Jewish wives — and we’re also meant to embrace our body, whatever size it is. An overweight Jewish woman is still beautiful, even if she isn’t the size that everyone else is.” At a young 22 years, Roizy seems to be onto something that women many years her senior often miss. She tells me that despite the pain of living in a dysfunctional home and being a victim of weight-related bullying, she always told herself that she’d be a survivor. One day, she knew she’d be able to say that she loves herself despite the influences that forced her to have a negative self-image as a child. “When I was in sixth grade, a teacher gave me a lot of encouragement,” Roizy tells me when discussing the bullying that wore away at her self-esteem. “‘Don’t listen to the people that mock you,’” that teacher always told her. “‘The best way to take revenge is not by fighting back, but by coming out on top — by being strong and stable despite what you are going through. You have a message to deliver to the world. When you grow up, you’ll have something to say that will change people.’” Taking that message to heart, Roizy developed her vision. Unfortunately, taking on a mindset that permeates the thoughts of billions of people is a big order. Small-minded mentalities are everywhere, from the billboards that we try to avoid seeing, to the constant discussion about diets WORKOUT @HOME AFTER ALL, BIG CAN BE BEAUTIFUL, TOO, RIGHT? IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. WRITTEN BY REBECCA BLUE whenever women get together, to the fat jokes that are shamelessly thrown about. “Diet” ads abound in every publication, and doctors, too, have admitted to looking at obese clients with a disdainful eye at times. Sometimes, it even crosses over into the workforce. “I was once interviewed over the phone for a job as a secretary in a fashion designer’s office,” Roizy tells me, “and it sounded like a perfect fit. At the end of the conversation, the designer asked me to send her a picture. Well, I did, and she told me I was too big for the job.” Shocked, I ask Roizy to repeat herself. “Did you just say she asked for a picture and declined to hire you because of your weight?” “Yes,” Roizy answers, “She wanted a size six or less secretary to use as model for her clothing, in addition to answering the phones. I didn’t fit the bill due to my weight. “A couple months later, she called me back and offered me the job, saying that she’d hire a model and I’d do the office work. I took the job and realized that I loved working with fabric and creating clothing, and one day, I realized that I could be a catalyst for change. People like myself could really benefit from youthful clothing in our sizes.” As a case in point, Roizy mentions how a heavier girl told her that she had to search for a simcha dress. Wanting to look young and beautiful 46 | fyimagazineny.com at her engagement party, that girl had bought two of the same pricey dresses and had them sewn together, because nothing ready-made was available in her size. But Roizy’s not done yet, she tells me there is a lot of work in progress. She’s working on creating anti-bullying workshops, and is prepared to speak to parents and teachers about the dangers of weight-based bullying and how to protect children’s self-esteem. She’s also contemplating arranging a for-charity women-only fashion show that will feature plus-size models. Roizy Reisman has great hopes for building the self-esteem of the women of this generation, as well as removing the weight stigma from the minds of the next. Reshaping deeply ingrained beliefs, however, is a hard thing to do, as I can personally testify. The one interaction I’d had with Roizy prior to our conversation was when she approached me and invited me to her new store that caters exclusively to plus size females. Feeling rather self-conscious about the extra weight I carry, that familiar feeling of embarrassment spread through my veins. Only now while talking with Roizy, do I realize there is no reason to feel this way. After all, big can be beautiful, too, right? It’s only a matter of perspective. fyi F inally the kids are back in school and your exercise regimen is right on track, and then...here we go again! The Yomim Tovim are back with a bang. Your daily workouts are threatened by the days you will go to shul, the yummy foods, and the kids being home. You will find yourself busy cooking and spending lots of time with your family. Don’t let these (all good, mind you) distractions throw you off the bandwagon of exercise. Don’t make excuses. Instead, schedule your workouts at home. Make sure you set that time aside – and guard it like a junkyard pit bull – until you can get back into your usual gym routine. Perhaps you are thinking it's not that easy, or home workouts are not effective for beginners. Maybe you feel lost. Are you wondering what you can do at home to get a good solid workout? No worries! Here are some killer home workouts that are quick and will help you keep your endurance up and pumping, so you can continue on your path to getting into great shape. To make life simple, keep the equipment to a minimum. All you will need are medium to heavy sets of dumbbells, a weighted medicine ball, and a step stool. Make sure you alternate the workouts, and remember that you can always fine tune and adjust to your individual needs. Be sure to practice all workouts with enough time to cover 3 sets at 10-20 repetitions. WORKOUT 1  WALK OUTS & PUSHUPS: Bend over at the waist and place your hands on the floor, keeping your knees as straight as possible to stretch the hamstrings. Walk your hands into a neutral plank position and bend your elbows into a pushup. Walk your hands back to your feet and slowly come back up and repeat.  SQUAT AND CURL: Keeping the knees over the ankles, sit back into a seated position. Hold your chest up and place two heavy dumbbells between your legs, then stand up while you curl your arms into a bicep curl. Repeat.  JUMP SQUATS: Squat down and load your power. Explode into a plyometric jump. Remember that the focus is not about the height of your jump, but rather the powerful explosion from your quads and glutes. Repeat.  BENT OVER DUMBBELL LAT ROWS: Hold a heavy dumbbell in each hand. Hang over at the hips, keeping your abs tight and your spine neutral and aligned with your head. Keep your shoulders back as you bring both dumbbells close to your body in a sawing motion. Remember to squeeze your shoulder blades together as you saw back. Repeat.  JUMPING JACKS WITH A WEIGHTED MEDICINE BALL: With both hands, hold a medicine ball and proceed to jump and jack, bringing your hands and ball straight above your head, 47 | fyimagazineny.com then down to your chest. Keep repeating in a fluid motion.  LATERAL RAISES: Use medium dumbbells and lift them each to a lateral (side). Raise both at the same time to shoulder level. Make sure you take it slow and control it. Repeat, then at the end of your set, hold to isolate at the top for 20 seconds.  MILITARY PRESS: Hold your dumbbells and flip them up so your elbows are close to the sides of your rib cage, palms facing out. Slowly bring the dumbbells overhead while straightening the elbows.  MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS: Get on your hands in a pushup position and start running. Touch your toe towards your chest, alternating each foot.  PLANK SHOULDER TOUCH: Once you’re back into plank/pushup position, touch fingers to opposite shoulder. Alternate while keeping your hips square and abdominals tucked in – right hand to left shoulder and vice versa. WORKOUT 2  WALKING LUNGES: Instead of walking, front lunge to the other side of the room and back (shoot for at least 10 lunges each way). Make sure you have good form by keeping your chest up and knees over ankles. You can hold dumbbells or a medicine ball for a greater challenge.  STEP UP KNEE RAISES: Grab a step
LOVE YOUR LIFE  When I ask Roizy if she is now comfortable with being overweight, she says,    Every morning you have to e...
LOVE YOUR LIFE When I ask Roizy if she is now comfortable with being overweight, she says, “Every morning you have to embrace who you are and admit that you are trying your very best.” “Whatever reason a person is heavy, whether it’s because of emotional eating, or a health condition, we are still meant to bake and cook and eat, just like other Jewish wives — and we’re also meant to embrace our body, whatever size it is. An overweight Jewish woman is still beautiful, even if she isn’t the size that everyone else is.” At a young 22 years, Roizy seems to be onto something that women many years her senior often miss. She tells me that despite the pain of living in a dysfunctional home and being a victim of weight-related bullying, she always told herself that she’d be a survivor. One day, she knew she’d be able to say that she loves herself despite the influences that forced her to have a negative self-image as a child. “When I was in sixth grade, a teacher gave me a lot of encouragement,” Roizy tells me when discussing the bullying that wore away at her self-esteem. “‘Don’t listen to the people that mock you,’” that teacher always told her. “‘The best way to take revenge is not by fighting back, but by coming out on top — by being strong and stable despite what you are going through. You have a message to deliver to the world. When you grow up, you’ll have something to say that will change people.’” Taking that message to heart, Roizy developed her vision. Unfortunately, taking on a mindset that permeates the thoughts of billions of people is a big order. Small-minded mentalities are everywhere, from the billboards that we try to avoid seeing, to the constant discussion about diets WORKOUT @HOME AFTER ALL, BIG CAN BE BEAUTIFUL, TOO, RIGHT? IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. WRITTEN BY REBECCA BLUE whenever women get together, to the fat jokes that are shamelessly thrown about. “Diet” ads abound in every publication, and doctors, too, have admitted to looking at obese clients with a disdainful eye at times. Sometimes, it even crosses over into the workforce. “I was once interviewed over the phone for a job as a secretary in a fashion designer’s office,” Roizy tells me, “and it sounded like a perfect fit. At the end of the conversation, the designer asked me to send her a picture. Well, I did, and she told me I was too big for the job.” Shocked, I ask Roizy to repeat herself. “Did you just say she asked for a picture and declined to hire you because of your weight?” “Yes,” Roizy answers, “She wanted a size six or less secretary to use as model for her clothing, in addition to answering the phones. I didn’t fit the bill due to my weight. “A couple months later, she called me back and offered me the job, saying that she’d hire a model and I’d do the office work. I took the job and realized that I loved working with fabric and creating clothing, and one day, I realized that I could be a catalyst for change. People like myself could really benefit from youthful clothing in our sizes.” As a case in point, Roizy mentions how a heavier girl told her that she had to search for a simcha dress. Wanting to look young and beautiful 46 | fyimagazineny.com at her engagement party, that girl had bought two of the same pricey dresses and had them sewn together, because nothing ready-made was available in her size. But Roizy’s not done yet, she tells me there is a lot of work in progress. She’s working on creating anti-bullying workshops, and is prepared to speak to parents and teachers about the dangers of weight-based bullying and how to protect children’s self-esteem. She’s also contemplating arranging a for-charity women-only fashion show that will feature plus-size models. Roizy Reisman has great hopes for building the self-esteem of the women of this generation, as well as removing the weight stigma from the minds of the next. Reshaping deeply ingrained beliefs, however, is a hard thing to do, as I can personally testify. The one interaction I’d had with Roizy prior to our conversation was when she approached me and invited me to her new store that caters exclusively to plus size females. Feeling rather self-conscious about the extra weight I carry, that familiar feeling of embarrassment spread through my veins. Only now while talking with Roizy, do I realize there is no reason to feel this way. After all, big can be beautiful, too, right? It’s only a matter of perspective. fyi F inally the kids are back in school and your exercise regimen is right on track, and then...here we go again! The Yomim Tovim are back with a bang. Your daily workouts are threatened by the days you will go to shul, the yummy foods, and the kids being home. You will find yourself busy cooking and spending lots of time with your family. Don’t let these (all good, mind you) distractions throw you off the bandwagon of exercise. Don’t make excuses. Instead, schedule your workouts at home. Make sure you set that time aside – and guard it like a junkyard pit bull – until you can get back into your usual gym routine. Perhaps you are thinking it's not that easy, or home workouts are not effective for beginners. Maybe you feel lost. Are you wondering what you can do at home to get a good solid workout? No worries! Here are some killer home workouts that are quick and will help you keep your endurance up and pumping, so you can continue on your path to getting into great shape. To make life simple, keep the equipment to a minimum. All you will need are medium to heavy sets of dumbbells, a weighted medicine ball, and a step stool. Make sure you alternate the workouts, and remember that you can always fine tune and adjust to your individual needs. Be sure to practice all workouts with enough time to cover 3 sets at 10-20 repetitions. WORKOUT 1  WALK OUTS & PUSHUPS: Bend over at the waist and place your hands on the floor, keeping your knees as straight as possible to stretch the hamstrings. Walk your hands into a neutral plank position and bend your elbows into a pushup. Walk your hands back to your feet and slowly come back up and repeat.  SQUAT AND CURL: Keeping the knees over the ankles, sit back into a seated position. Hold your chest up and place two heavy dumbbells between your legs, then stand up while you curl your arms into a bicep curl. Repeat.  JUMP SQUATS: Squat down and load your power. Explode into a plyometric jump. Remember that the focus is not about the height of your jump, but rather the powerful explosion from your quads and glutes. Repeat.  BENT OVER DUMBBELL LAT ROWS: Hold a heavy dumbbell in each hand. Hang over at the hips, keeping your abs tight and your spine neutral and aligned with your head. Keep your shoulders back as you bring both dumbbells close to your body in a sawing motion. Remember to squeeze your shoulder blades together as you saw back. Repeat.  JUMPING JACKS WITH A WEIGHTED MEDICINE BALL: With both hands, hold a medicine ball and proceed to jump and jack, bringing your hands and ball straight above your head, 47 | fyimagazineny.com then down to your chest. Keep repeating in a fluid motion.  LATERAL RAISES: Use medium dumbbells and lift them each to a lateral (side). Raise both at the same time to shoulder level. Make sure you take it slow and control it. Repeat, then at the end of your set, hold to isolate at the top for 20 seconds.  MILITARY PRESS: Hold your dumbbells and flip them up so your elbows are close to the sides of your rib cage, palms facing out. Slowly bring the dumbbells overhead while straightening the elbows.  MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS: Get on your hands in a pushup position and start running. Touch your toe towards your chest, alternating each foot.  PLANK SHOULDER TOUCH: Once you’re back into plank/pushup position, touch fingers to opposite shoulder. Alternate while keeping your hips square and abdominals tucked in – right hand to left shoulder and vice versa. WORKOUT 2  WALKING LUNGES: Instead of walking, front lunge to the other side of the room and back (shoot for at least 10 lunges each way). Make sure you have good form by keeping your chest up and knees over ankles. You can hold dumbbells or a medicine ball for a greater challenge.  STEP UP KNEE RAISES: Grab a step
LOVE YOUR LIFE  When I ask Roizy if she is now comfortable with being overweight, she says,    Every morning you have to e...
LOVE YOUR LIFE stool or use your steps. Step up with your right leg and lunge your left knee to lift it up. Keep alternating legs every time you step down.  HIGH KNEES: Jog in place, lifting the knees high and as close to the chest as possible. You can add an extra challenge by jogging up and down on the step while still lifting the knees high.  DIPS: Use that same step stool and keep your hands behind you as you keep your feet on the floor. Bend the elbows up and down to work your triceps, and try to keep the elbows at 90 degrees when you lift up. For a greater challenge, keep your knees straight. For less of a challenge, bend your knees slightly.  TRICEP EXTENSION: Standing with softly bent knees, bring a heavy dumbbell behind your head and extend your arms straight up. Make sure you keep your elbows as close to your head as possible.  WOOD CHOPS: Grab a dumbbell with both hands. Keep legs and hip distance apart. Bring the dumbbell over your right hip and rotate it up and over to your left shoulder. Do 10 on each side, then alternate.  GLUTE BRIDGE RAISE: Lie on your back, feet flat with bent knees. Lift and lower your hips while tightly engaging the muscles in your abdomen and glutes. Bring yourself back to a neutral position on the floor. Be sure not to hyperextend your hips or arch your back.  SINGLE LEG GLUTE RAISE: Same as above, only with one leg raised. Think of pressing your raised foot straight up into the ceiling. Repeat 10 times, then switch legs.  SINGLE LEG GLUTE BRIDGE WITH LEG LIFT: Same as above, only hold your bridge this time while you lift and lower the leg. Again, be sure to keep your abs tight as you will be working them even more. Do 10 repetitions per side. Quickly do a push-up and jump both feet in, stand and repeat. This is another great one for kids!  BICYCLE CRUNCHES: Lying on your back, bring your right elbow to left knee and vice versa. Fully extend the legs and twist your spine in turn to fully work those obliques.  GLUTE KICK BACK: Get down on your hands and knees and bring your right knee towards your chest, then back up towards the ceiling, all the while squeezing your glute. Repeat 20 times, then pulse and squeeze for 10 seconds. Then switch legs. WORKOUT 3  SIDE LUNGES WITH DUMBBELLS: Stand feet together and hold your dumbbells, then take a big step out with your right leg. Laterally bend, pressing your behind forward past your hip while bending the right knee and keeping the left as straight as possible. Keep both feet facing forward. Repeat 10 times, then switch legs.  SKATER JUMPS: Bring the right leg back behind the left, then the left leg back behind the right, simulating a skating motion. Use the arms as well and hop from side to side.  SQUAT AND BACK LUNGE: Squat down into a sitting position. After you fully stand back up, lunge one leg back at a time. Repeat.  JUMP ROPE: Use a real jump rope (or imaginary) to jump for 1 minute. This a great one for when the kids try to distract you. Throw them a rope and they will be set!  FRONT SHOULDER RAISES: Hold medium dumbbells and slowly raise forward to shoulder level and shoulder distance. Lower with control. At the finish of the set, hold up the dumbbells and pulse for 20 seconds.  UPRIGHT FLIES: Hinge over at your hip with medium dumbbells in hand. Bring your hands over your chest, then straighten out your elbows and slowly raise them up to shoulder level while squeezing the back of the shoulders and keeping those elbows as straight as possible. Repeat.  BURPEES: Explode up and drop down on your hands and belly. 48 | fyimagazineny.com focus•on•organization A LIFELONG MISSION  FIRE HYDRANTS: Same as above but bring your knee lateral 20 times and pulse 10 seconds. Then switch legs.  RUSSIAN TWIST: Holding a medicine ball, sit on the floor and bend your knees. Lean back about 10 degrees and lift your feet off the ground, if possible. Rotate your arms and spine to the right and then to the left, touching the ball down over your hips on each side. T hese are just some great ideas for your home workouts that are enormously effective and lots of fun. Feel free to modify, mix it up for your individual needs or even include your kids. You can make it a fun daily challenge or just enjoy the team support and family connection. You could create the "Mom" team vs. the "Dad" team or boys against girls. The options are endless, and including your family will make it more likely that you will maintain your schedule with the fewest distractions. Most importantly, don't give up! Stay motivated, work hard, and you will surely snap right back into your daily workout routine without any lost time. fyi Rebecca Blue is a certified personal trainer and the co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo fitness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com WRITTEN BY CHANI SCHWARTZ Rosh Hashanah has just passed and we davened all we can to be inscribed in the book of life and leave the rest up to Hashem. But, should we? T here are things in life we prefer not to think about, but not thinking is even worse. Life insurance is one of them. Who wants to imagine life without our spouses, unable to provide for their family? Who wants to be the catalyst for the helpless situation where their children must hold onto difficult jobs, their parents only a distant memory? Nobody wants their offspring to feel bitter that their parents had money for all the extras, but could not leave some concrete plan for when they were gone. Enter Mr. Albert Kahn. As soon as I started the conversation with Mr. Kahn, I was struck by his humility and humble approach. His message was clear from the onset: “I am just a messenger. This is my mitzvah, my contribution to the world.” I asked him what inspired him to take this on, something that most of us prefer to shove under the rug, and here is his story: “I was an askan for Yesomim and Almanos, trying to raise money to cover their basic needs, and I realized in what a dire situation they are in, how painful all of this is for them. Losing a loved one is beyond painful already. Any additional strain is so unnecessary. “At one point, I came across an advert about life insurance, and seeing how cheap this is, I thought to myself – why not be proactive?” He then proceeded to travel to gedolim, to get endorsements from them. Not only did they receive him warmly, but they pointed out that a life insurance policy was a necessity, and part of our daily living expenses. They blessed his actions, adding that anyone who is involved in spreading awareness on this vital matter, is guaranteed tremendous schar – as well as a segula for a lengthy life. As he was talking, I sensed his passionate desire to ease the burden of klal yisroel. He has been doing this for 15 years, and has saved countless families, rabbaim and kollel yungerleit from financial ruin when a loved one passed away. He saved them from being humiliated, taking from other charities, and being at the mercy of others. Mr. Kahn counsels individuals, goes to Askanim in all majorly populated areas across the globe, and advises 49 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  stool or use your steps. Step up with your right leg and lunge your left knee to lift it up. Keep alternat...
LOVE YOUR LIFE stool or use your steps. Step up with your right leg and lunge your left knee to lift it up. Keep alternating legs every time you step down.  HIGH KNEES: Jog in place, lifting the knees high and as close to the chest as possible. You can add an extra challenge by jogging up and down on the step while still lifting the knees high.  DIPS: Use that same step stool and keep your hands behind you as you keep your feet on the floor. Bend the elbows up and down to work your triceps, and try to keep the elbows at 90 degrees when you lift up. For a greater challenge, keep your knees straight. For less of a challenge, bend your knees slightly.  TRICEP EXTENSION: Standing with softly bent knees, bring a heavy dumbbell behind your head and extend your arms straight up. Make sure you keep your elbows as close to your head as possible.  WOOD CHOPS: Grab a dumbbell with both hands. Keep legs and hip distance apart. Bring the dumbbell over your right hip and rotate it up and over to your left shoulder. Do 10 on each side, then alternate.  GLUTE BRIDGE RAISE: Lie on your back, feet flat with bent knees. Lift and lower your hips while tightly engaging the muscles in your abdomen and glutes. Bring yourself back to a neutral position on the floor. Be sure not to hyperextend your hips or arch your back.  SINGLE LEG GLUTE RAISE: Same as above, only with one leg raised. Think of pressing your raised foot straight up into the ceiling. Repeat 10 times, then switch legs.  SINGLE LEG GLUTE BRIDGE WITH LEG LIFT: Same as above, only hold your bridge this time while you lift and lower the leg. Again, be sure to keep your abs tight as you will be working them even more. Do 10 repetitions per side. Quickly do a push-up and jump both feet in, stand and repeat. This is another great one for kids!  BICYCLE CRUNCHES: Lying on your back, bring your right elbow to left knee and vice versa. Fully extend the legs and twist your spine in turn to fully work those obliques.  GLUTE KICK BACK: Get down on your hands and knees and bring your right knee towards your chest, then back up towards the ceiling, all the while squeezing your glute. Repeat 20 times, then pulse and squeeze for 10 seconds. Then switch legs. WORKOUT 3  SIDE LUNGES WITH DUMBBELLS: Stand feet together and hold your dumbbells, then take a big step out with your right leg. Laterally bend, pressing your behind forward past your hip while bending the right knee and keeping the left as straight as possible. Keep both feet facing forward. Repeat 10 times, then switch legs.  SKATER JUMPS: Bring the right leg back behind the left, then the left leg back behind the right, simulating a skating motion. Use the arms as well and hop from side to side.  SQUAT AND BACK LUNGE: Squat down into a sitting position. After you fully stand back up, lunge one leg back at a time. Repeat.  JUMP ROPE: Use a real jump rope (or imaginary) to jump for 1 minute. This a great one for when the kids try to distract you. Throw them a rope and they will be set!  FRONT SHOULDER RAISES: Hold medium dumbbells and slowly raise forward to shoulder level and shoulder distance. Lower with control. At the finish of the set, hold up the dumbbells and pulse for 20 seconds.  UPRIGHT FLIES: Hinge over at your hip with medium dumbbells in hand. Bring your hands over your chest, then straighten out your elbows and slowly raise them up to shoulder level while squeezing the back of the shoulders and keeping those elbows as straight as possible. Repeat.  BURPEES: Explode up and drop down on your hands and belly. 48 | fyimagazineny.com focus•on•organization A LIFELONG MISSION  FIRE HYDRANTS: Same as above but bring your knee lateral 20 times and pulse 10 seconds. Then switch legs.  RUSSIAN TWIST: Holding a medicine ball, sit on the floor and bend your knees. Lean back about 10 degrees and lift your feet off the ground, if possible. Rotate your arms and spine to the right and then to the left, touching the ball down over your hips on each side. T hese are just some great ideas for your home workouts that are enormously effective and lots of fun. Feel free to modify, mix it up for your individual needs or even include your kids. You can make it a fun daily challenge or just enjoy the team support and family connection. You could create the "Mom" team vs. the "Dad" team or boys against girls. The options are endless, and including your family will make it more likely that you will maintain your schedule with the fewest distractions. Most importantly, don't give up! Stay motivated, work hard, and you will surely snap right back into your daily workout routine without any lost time. fyi Rebecca Blue is a certified personal trainer and the co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo fitness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com WRITTEN BY CHANI SCHWARTZ Rosh Hashanah has just passed and we davened all we can to be inscribed in the book of life and leave the rest up to Hashem. But, should we? T here are things in life we prefer not to think about, but not thinking is even worse. Life insurance is one of them. Who wants to imagine life without our spouses, unable to provide for their family? Who wants to be the catalyst for the helpless situation where their children must hold onto difficult jobs, their parents only a distant memory? Nobody wants their offspring to feel bitter that their parents had money for all the extras, but could not leave some concrete plan for when they were gone. Enter Mr. Albert Kahn. As soon as I started the conversation with Mr. Kahn, I was struck by his humility and humble approach. His message was clear from the onset: “I am just a messenger. This is my mitzvah, my contribution to the world.” I asked him what inspired him to take this on, something that most of us prefer to shove under the rug, and here is his story: “I was an askan for Yesomim and Almanos, trying to raise money to cover their basic needs, and I realized in what a dire situation they are in, how painful all of this is for them. Losing a loved one is beyond painful already. Any additional strain is so unnecessary. “At one point, I came across an advert about life insurance, and seeing how cheap this is, I thought to myself – why not be proactive?” He then proceeded to travel to gedolim, to get endorsements from them. Not only did they receive him warmly, but they pointed out that a life insurance policy was a necessity, and part of our daily living expenses. They blessed his actions, adding that anyone who is involved in spreading awareness on this vital matter, is guaranteed tremendous schar – as well as a segula for a lengthy life. As he was talking, I sensed his passionate desire to ease the burden of klal yisroel. He has been doing this for 15 years, and has saved countless families, rabbaim and kollel yungerleit from financial ruin when a loved one passed away. He saved them from being humiliated, taking from other charities, and being at the mercy of others. Mr. Kahn counsels individuals, goes to Askanim in all majorly populated areas across the globe, and advises 49 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  stool or use your steps. Step up with your right leg and lunge your left knee to lift it up. Keep alternat...
GET A HANDLE ON IT LOVE YOUR LIFE Take A Break | Parenting | Marketing them what to do before their congregation needs help. Whenever he is at a social event and meets someone for the first time, he asks them for five minutes of their time - to explain how simple and cheap it is to ensure the future of their loved ones. The typical response is “I haven’t gotten down to it, I will think about it.” “There is no excuse,” he explains. “Life insurance policies are cheap. A cheap policy is about $100 a year, and a million-dollar policy is as low as $280 a year for men, and $250 a year for women. If you can’t do that, we have discreet ways of getting you a policy within your means.” And if some cannot afford even that, he raises the money for them. “It is cheaper to collect $300 a year, than $300,00 later on if the family stays alone.” “Unfortunately, this situation does not discriminate, and as much as we believe that all our loved ones, including ourselves, will live until 120, what happens if we don’t?” He also advises that a group policy can be much cheaper, and one can avoid needing a medical examination to qualify. For someone with a preexisting condition, this might be a good plan. “A regular policy would require a blood test to check if you are healthy, but on the side, I managed to save many lives, as this is an extensive blood test, and many silent illnesses were discovered along the way. There were several people whose lives were saved by those blood tests.” Mr. Kahn has many stories of insurance policies that were put in place just in time. One of those examples is the group policy that was offered in Beis Medrash Govoha in Lakewood. Mr. Kahn was the catalyst for a young woman’s financial security after she lost her husband. The letter above of thanks says it all. Can we imagine how much anguish and potential heartache Mr. Kahn has prevented by teaching people to be proactive? And he is not 50 | fyimagazineny.com done. He is taking on yet another aspect of this subject that we all prefer to be oblivious to. He is pushing for wills – outlining guardianship for the children. “There are cases, unfortunately, where both parents are gone. What happens to the kids? Of course people would assume that they can go to their grandparents, but which set? I have had several cases where this has ripped a family apart. One case has been dragging on for five years, and the grandparents are still fighting over that child. Had the parents known an inkling of the pain they would put their kids through, they would not hesitate to finalize a will, with a competent lawyer…” This is his message to the world: “Please make sure that your family is financially covered. Don’t assume this will never happen to you. Quoting Rabbi Pesach Krohn - It’s not always only the ‘other guy,’ you are that other guy! Buy your kids a life insurance policy as a wedding gift – educate them from early on… Don’t assume that it is nobody’s business what they do with their life, because if the need arises, it quickly becomes the community’s business. Have mercy on your family, because if you don’t, how can you expect the community to?” He ends off with his trademark wish: “If you take action, I wish for you, that you should never need it for yourself, or your loved ones…” fyi ACTIVITIES FOR YOM TOV VACATION WRITTEN BY MIRIAM W. As the nights start getting cooler and the crickets come out, I smile in anticipation of the upcoming Yomim Tovim. Oh, to sit in the sukkah on a beautiful day enchanted by the sounds of song and nature. Oh, to lift my eyes heavenward, gazing through the bamboo slats enthralled by the azure blue sky as the sunlight streams in warming the heart and soul. And the nights! Floating stars; twinkling, winking through the rustling pine. It makes me wax poetic every time. “Ma, Chavy took away my Lego mentchies again!” “I had it first!” “No you didn’t!” “Did too!” “Maaaa!” The poem abruptly stops. Yom Tov time means wondrous moments, new clothing, delicious food, and kids home from school. Whether it’s toddlers or teens or a mix of the two, keeping them entertained can be quite a challenge. But have no fear! We had a talk with four moms just like you, and polled them for the best home-made entertainment for kids. Together, we compiled a list of 14 free activities for those off-school days. Be it before Yom Tov, on Yom Tov, or Chol Hamoed, these great family games will keep ‘em busy and happy! Some are good old favorites, and some are new ideas that kids of all ages will enjoy with each other and make great memories. Feel free to improvise and add your own twists. Here are the results for your enjoyment. You’re welcome! And as all Mommys agreed, nothing, absolutely nothing, beats having Mommy or Daddy play along…
GET A HANDLE ON IT  LOVE YOUR LIFE  Take A Break   Parenting   Marketing  them what to do before their congregation needs ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT LOVE YOUR LIFE Take A Break | Parenting | Marketing them what to do before their congregation needs help. Whenever he is at a social event and meets someone for the first time, he asks them for five minutes of their time - to explain how simple and cheap it is to ensure the future of their loved ones. The typical response is “I haven’t gotten down to it, I will think about it.” “There is no excuse,” he explains. “Life insurance policies are cheap. A cheap policy is about $100 a year, and a million-dollar policy is as low as $280 a year for men, and $250 a year for women. If you can’t do that, we have discreet ways of getting you a policy within your means.” And if some cannot afford even that, he raises the money for them. “It is cheaper to collect $300 a year, than $300,00 later on if the family stays alone.” “Unfortunately, this situation does not discriminate, and as much as we believe that all our loved ones, including ourselves, will live until 120, what happens if we don’t?” He also advises that a group policy can be much cheaper, and one can avoid needing a medical examination to qualify. For someone with a preexisting condition, this might be a good plan. “A regular policy would require a blood test to check if you are healthy, but on the side, I managed to save many lives, as this is an extensive blood test, and many silent illnesses were discovered along the way. There were several people whose lives were saved by those blood tests.” Mr. Kahn has many stories of insurance policies that were put in place just in time. One of those examples is the group policy that was offered in Beis Medrash Govoha in Lakewood. Mr. Kahn was the catalyst for a young woman’s financial security after she lost her husband. The letter above of thanks says it all. Can we imagine how much anguish and potential heartache Mr. Kahn has prevented by teaching people to be proactive? And he is not 50 | fyimagazineny.com done. He is taking on yet another aspect of this subject that we all prefer to be oblivious to. He is pushing for wills – outlining guardianship for the children. “There are cases, unfortunately, where both parents are gone. What happens to the kids? Of course people would assume that they can go to their grandparents, but which set? I have had several cases where this has ripped a family apart. One case has been dragging on for five years, and the grandparents are still fighting over that child. Had the parents known an inkling of the pain they would put their kids through, they would not hesitate to finalize a will, with a competent lawyer…” This is his message to the world: “Please make sure that your family is financially covered. Don’t assume this will never happen to you. Quoting Rabbi Pesach Krohn - It’s not always only the ‘other guy,’ you are that other guy! Buy your kids a life insurance policy as a wedding gift – educate them from early on… Don’t assume that it is nobody’s business what they do with their life, because if the need arises, it quickly becomes the community’s business. Have mercy on your family, because if you don’t, how can you expect the community to?” He ends off with his trademark wish: “If you take action, I wish for you, that you should never need it for yourself, or your loved ones…” fyi ACTIVITIES FOR YOM TOV VACATION WRITTEN BY MIRIAM W. As the nights start getting cooler and the crickets come out, I smile in anticipation of the upcoming Yomim Tovim. Oh, to sit in the sukkah on a beautiful day enchanted by the sounds of song and nature. Oh, to lift my eyes heavenward, gazing through the bamboo slats enthralled by the azure blue sky as the sunlight streams in warming the heart and soul. And the nights! Floating stars; twinkling, winking through the rustling pine. It makes me wax poetic every time. “Ma, Chavy took away my Lego mentchies again!” “I had it first!” “No you didn’t!” “Did too!” “Maaaa!” The poem abruptly stops. Yom Tov time means wondrous moments, new clothing, delicious food, and kids home from school. Whether it’s toddlers or teens or a mix of the two, keeping them entertained can be quite a challenge. But have no fear! We had a talk with four moms just like you, and polled them for the best home-made entertainment for kids. Together, we compiled a list of 14 free activities for those off-school days. Be it before Yom Tov, on Yom Tov, or Chol Hamoed, these great family games will keep ‘em busy and happy! Some are good old favorites, and some are new ideas that kids of all ages will enjoy with each other and make great memories. Feel free to improvise and add your own twists. Here are the results for your enjoyment. You’re welcome! And as all Mommys agreed, nothing, absolutely nothing, beats having Mommy or Daddy play along…
GET A HANDLE ON IT  LOVE YOUR LIFE  Take A Break   Parenting   Marketing  them what to do before their congregation needs ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT 1 BUILD-A-STORY Player 1 starts a story with an interesting sentence. The next player adds his sentence to the story, and then it’s player three’s turn. Keep on adding sentences, spinning a long tale. You just never know how the story will turn out! 2 FORTUNATELY/ UNFORTUNATELY Similar to story building, this one will have kids roaring with laughter from the sheer hilarity of the story line. Start the story with the word “Fortunately”. Continue the next sentence with the word “Unfortunately.” Follow this pattern until the story can’t get any crazier. (Fortunately, we went to a park. Unfortunately, we got a flat tire on the way. Fortunately, we had a spare in the trunk. Unfortunately, a dead squirrel was nestled in the center. Fortunately Abba was brave and took it out. Unfortunately, Ma fainted…) 3 FAMILY ALBUMS Kids love seeing themselves growing up! Take out those baby albums, your wedding album… They’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. Bonus points if you sit down with them to tell the stories and history behind each pic. Watch their faces light up and bask in the special attention. 6 4 HIDE & SEEK Yup, it’s still being played and will never go out of style. And you’ll be the parent of the year if you play along… Kids LOVE to find grownups! (You might want to point out some off-limit areas, eg. Parent’s bedroom, Pesach kitchen…) 5 PHOTO CHALLENGE This one’s a winner for your tweens! Write up a list of photo ops and take out the camera. Kids have to take a shot of each requirement and bring it back once done. You’ll be amazed at their creativity! Some requirement ideas: Something green, something fuzzy, something out of place, opposites… Make them harder if older kids will be playing. Got two cameras? Divide the clan in two and host a competition! 52 | fyimagazineny.com ALPHABET TRAVELER Who wants to go on a trip? Starting with “A” work your way through the alphabet giving each child a turn. Include a destination and an object that’s coming along. Can you remember the entire list at the end? (Example: I’m going to Aunt Avigayil and taking along an Aardvark. I’m going to Bermuda and taking along a Blue Banana.) 7 RHUBARB Not quite sure how the poor vegetable got to be the butt of this joke, but kids will be rolling on the floor laughing within a few minutes. Kids ask innocent questions from the player that’s titled “Rhubarb.” Simple stuff like, how are you feeling today, and what’s your favorite candy. With a very straight face, all the child can answer in all seriousness is, “Rhubarb.” Got the giggles? You’re out! Who can control their laughter longest? Better video this one. 53 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  1 BUILD-A-STORY Player 1 starts a story with an  interesting sentence. The next pl...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT 1 BUILD-A-STORY Player 1 starts a story with an interesting sentence. The next player adds his sentence to the story, and then it’s player three’s turn. Keep on adding sentences, spinning a long tale. You just never know how the story will turn out! 2 FORTUNATELY/ UNFORTUNATELY Similar to story building, this one will have kids roaring with laughter from the sheer hilarity of the story line. Start the story with the word “Fortunately”. Continue the next sentence with the word “Unfortunately.” Follow this pattern until the story can’t get any crazier. (Fortunately, we went to a park. Unfortunately, we got a flat tire on the way. Fortunately, we had a spare in the trunk. Unfortunately, a dead squirrel was nestled in the center. Fortunately Abba was brave and took it out. Unfortunately, Ma fainted…) 3 FAMILY ALBUMS Kids love seeing themselves growing up! Take out those baby albums, your wedding album… They’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. Bonus points if you sit down with them to tell the stories and history behind each pic. Watch their faces light up and bask in the special attention. 6 4 HIDE & SEEK Yup, it’s still being played and will never go out of style. And you’ll be the parent of the year if you play along… Kids LOVE to find grownups! (You might want to point out some off-limit areas, eg. Parent’s bedroom, Pesach kitchen…) 5 PHOTO CHALLENGE This one’s a winner for your tweens! Write up a list of photo ops and take out the camera. Kids have to take a shot of each requirement and bring it back once done. You’ll be amazed at their creativity! Some requirement ideas: Something green, something fuzzy, something out of place, opposites… Make them harder if older kids will be playing. Got two cameras? Divide the clan in two and host a competition! 52 | fyimagazineny.com ALPHABET TRAVELER Who wants to go on a trip? Starting with “A” work your way through the alphabet giving each child a turn. Include a destination and an object that’s coming along. Can you remember the entire list at the end? (Example: I’m going to Aunt Avigayil and taking along an Aardvark. I’m going to Bermuda and taking along a Blue Banana.) 7 RHUBARB Not quite sure how the poor vegetable got to be the butt of this joke, but kids will be rolling on the floor laughing within a few minutes. Kids ask innocent questions from the player that’s titled “Rhubarb.” Simple stuff like, how are you feeling today, and what’s your favorite candy. With a very straight face, all the child can answer in all seriousness is, “Rhubarb.” Got the giggles? You’re out! Who can control their laughter longest? Better video this one. 53 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  1 BUILD-A-STORY Player 1 starts a story with an  interesting sentence. The next pl...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT 8 11 BOREDOM BOX No, no. This is not meant to ship off whiney kids. Pick a pretty box/jar/container, and fill it up with strips of paper. Each strip should say a simple activity (play a card game, make a spaceship with Lego, etc.) Kids with boredom blues can pick a paper for an idea of how to occupy themselves. Great if there’s one lonely youngster whose siblings aren’t up for group games. 9 10 OBSERVATION SKILLS Pick a bunch of random objects from all around the house. Gather a nice mix, like a toothbrush, cutlery, play figures, jewelry, candy, etc. Set them out on a large tray and have kids study the array for a few minutes. Kids will then close their eyes while one object will be removed. Who can guess which object is missing? (More than one object can be removed to give younger children a chance to guess quicker.) SIMON SAYS Voted the best toddler game in the U.S.! Plus, it gives them a healthy opportunity to do the opposite of what was instructed. Use your imagination with funny names like “Pimple Simon” and “Dimple Simon” when issuing instructions that should not be followed. Tots will crack up and ask you to keep playing till they go back to school. THE WANDERING JEW You gotta be a real sport for this one, but it’s great for those Chol Hamoed “choirs” of “where are we going? All my friends are going somewhere.” Pack up some food, and herd the brood into the car. On the count of ten, just start driving- no destination in mind! Children will take turns giving directions (Turn left at the next light, drive straight for 3 miles, get off at the next exit…). At a predetermined time, get out of the car and enjoy the unexpected destination! (A shopping trip at a local gas station convenience store, an impromptu picnic on a deserted field.) Just make sure to have a GPS handy in case you don’t know how to get back home. SECRET BUDDIES CONVERSATION STARTERS If there’s one thing that kids (and adults) can do endlessly, it’s talking. Especially those teens who don’t like to share much of their personal lives, will enjoy having a chance to share in this chilled manner. We compiled a list of conversation starters and questions, and feel free to add. Simply sitting around with some chips and soda while kids all have a chance to talk about themselves will foster many cozy and warm feelings. • If you can only keep one toy/object, which one would it be? If you have quite a few kids in the house or if you’re hosting many guests, this will keep kids entertained all Yom Tov long with minimal intervention on your part. On the first day off, every child will write her name on a slip of paper and place it in a hat. Kids will then pick a paper and find out who their secret buddy will be for the rest of the days off. Children will do special things for their buddies for the next few days, trying to remain undetected. (Make their bed in the morning, hide a candy in their place setting, slip an “I love you” note into their shoe…) Can children guess who the buddy was at the end? • What do you want to be when you grow up? 14 • If you were invisible, what would you do? • What makes a good friend/Who is your ideal friend? • What would you do with $1,000? • If you would be a teacher, how would you run your classroom? • If you can meet the president, what would you say? • If you can have a chance to see someone from the past, who would it be? • How would you design your dream house? • If you can decide the menu for a week, what would you cook? • Where would you go for a dream vacation? • What would be the most embarrassing thing that can happen to you? • How do you see yourself in 10 years from now? 54 | fyimagazineny.com 13 12 HAPPY HELPERS Let’s not kid ourselves. Vacation is not all about playing and games. Sometimes we need some help in the kitchen, with the youngsters, or with some clean-up. But it’s so much more fun to lazy around on the couch and it’s so hard to get your nose out of the electronic game. Create a fun helping atmosphere with this program. Write up a list of chores with the amount of points each one’s worth. (Set the table – 10 points, wash the dishes – 50 points, pack up the Legos – 20 points, watch the baby for a half hour – 100 points…) Feel free to add an impromptu job and it’s worth if something unusual comes up. Kids will keep on adding to their total all Yom Tov long. Decide on a goal amount that children have to reach by vacation’s end to receive a special something! (Different ages should have different goals.) 55 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  8  11  BOREDOM BOX No, no. This is not meant to ship off whiney kids. Pick a prett...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT 8 11 BOREDOM BOX No, no. This is not meant to ship off whiney kids. Pick a pretty box/jar/container, and fill it up with strips of paper. Each strip should say a simple activity (play a card game, make a spaceship with Lego, etc.) Kids with boredom blues can pick a paper for an idea of how to occupy themselves. Great if there’s one lonely youngster whose siblings aren’t up for group games. 9 10 OBSERVATION SKILLS Pick a bunch of random objects from all around the house. Gather a nice mix, like a toothbrush, cutlery, play figures, jewelry, candy, etc. Set them out on a large tray and have kids study the array for a few minutes. Kids will then close their eyes while one object will be removed. Who can guess which object is missing? (More than one object can be removed to give younger children a chance to guess quicker.) SIMON SAYS Voted the best toddler game in the U.S.! Plus, it gives them a healthy opportunity to do the opposite of what was instructed. Use your imagination with funny names like “Pimple Simon” and “Dimple Simon” when issuing instructions that should not be followed. Tots will crack up and ask you to keep playing till they go back to school. THE WANDERING JEW You gotta be a real sport for this one, but it’s great for those Chol Hamoed “choirs” of “where are we going? All my friends are going somewhere.” Pack up some food, and herd the brood into the car. On the count of ten, just start driving- no destination in mind! Children will take turns giving directions (Turn left at the next light, drive straight for 3 miles, get off at the next exit…). At a predetermined time, get out of the car and enjoy the unexpected destination! (A shopping trip at a local gas station convenience store, an impromptu picnic on a deserted field.) Just make sure to have a GPS handy in case you don’t know how to get back home. SECRET BUDDIES CONVERSATION STARTERS If there’s one thing that kids (and adults) can do endlessly, it’s talking. Especially those teens who don’t like to share much of their personal lives, will enjoy having a chance to share in this chilled manner. We compiled a list of conversation starters and questions, and feel free to add. Simply sitting around with some chips and soda while kids all have a chance to talk about themselves will foster many cozy and warm feelings. • If you can only keep one toy/object, which one would it be? If you have quite a few kids in the house or if you’re hosting many guests, this will keep kids entertained all Yom Tov long with minimal intervention on your part. On the first day off, every child will write her name on a slip of paper and place it in a hat. Kids will then pick a paper and find out who their secret buddy will be for the rest of the days off. Children will do special things for their buddies for the next few days, trying to remain undetected. (Make their bed in the morning, hide a candy in their place setting, slip an “I love you” note into their shoe…) Can children guess who the buddy was at the end? • What do you want to be when you grow up? 14 • If you were invisible, what would you do? • What makes a good friend/Who is your ideal friend? • What would you do with $1,000? • If you would be a teacher, how would you run your classroom? • If you can meet the president, what would you say? • If you can have a chance to see someone from the past, who would it be? • How would you design your dream house? • If you can decide the menu for a week, what would you cook? • Where would you go for a dream vacation? • What would be the most embarrassing thing that can happen to you? • How do you see yourself in 10 years from now? 54 | fyimagazineny.com 13 12 HAPPY HELPERS Let’s not kid ourselves. Vacation is not all about playing and games. Sometimes we need some help in the kitchen, with the youngsters, or with some clean-up. But it’s so much more fun to lazy around on the couch and it’s so hard to get your nose out of the electronic game. Create a fun helping atmosphere with this program. Write up a list of chores with the amount of points each one’s worth. (Set the table – 10 points, wash the dishes – 50 points, pack up the Legos – 20 points, watch the baby for a half hour – 100 points…) Feel free to add an impromptu job and it’s worth if something unusual comes up. Kids will keep on adding to their total all Yom Tov long. Decide on a goal amount that children have to reach by vacation’s end to receive a special something! (Different ages should have different goals.) 55 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  8  11  BOREDOM BOX No, no. This is not meant to ship off whiney kids. Pick a prett...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT take•a•break B U S Y W O M E N S H A R E T H E I R TIPS WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER It’s after midnight, and I’m in the kitchen, wrapping different-sized pans in foil and eyeing the oven timer, wondering whose brilliant iadea it was (mine!) to bake just one more kugel. My knees and back are aching, my ankles buckling. I want to go to bed, but I know that tomorrow will look just the same. What I really need is… a break. FYI Magazine spoke with women of various ages and stages to see how they de-stress, unwind, and take a break during one of the busiest times of the year. E 56 | fyimagazineny.com “I like doing crafts,” says Devora Perl, a mother of seven who works as a personal assistant. “I used to put away all my supplies at the end of the summer, knowing I’d only get a chance to use them again around Chanukah. But I missed it too much. One day I told myself, ‘Devora, you deserve a break! Take a little time out each week and treat yourself to a project.’ Since then, I’ve always worked on something around Yom Tov time. It’s a good, creative outlet.” She made an afikomen bag in the wee hours of the nights leading up to Bedikas Chametz. She made wire and crystal napkin rings before Shavuot. And now? She’s finishing up the embroidery on a tablecloth she started some time ago. “I can’t wait to use it for Yom Tov. It represents something special to me,” she says. E Psychologists note that busy hands settle the mind, with the repetitive motions having a meditation-like effect. A recent study showed that people who engage in a hobby at least 20 minutes a week are less prone to fatigue. Hobby-doers also have higher levels of positive psychosocial states and lower levels of depression. From the time back-to-school shopping begins, right up until Sukkos, Elisheva Rubinoff* is super busy. This 40-year-old mother of four, from the Monsey area runs a home-based clothing business. Although she’s super-organized and starts her Yom Tov cooking well in advance, between work, “regular” life and cooking, she doesn’t get to sleep before 1:30 or 2 a.m. during the week or two leading up to Yom Tov. “I love shopping,” Elisheva confides. “I always arrange one ‘retail therapy’ session for myself during the busiest time. It’s my chance to decompress and my opportunity to pick up a bargain.” Elisheva says it feels good to find some fun, cheap game or toy for the kids for Yom Tov, or to choose some home décor item for her table or sukkah. “It doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. Just a well-planned trip to the right store or two, and I feel re-energized.” E According to researchers at the University of Michigan, shopping for stress relief (aka retail therapy) gives people a sense of control in their lives and takes away sadness. It has also been shown to lower blood pressure and temporarily distract people from stressors in their lives. A recent survey indicated that 91 percent of Americans occasionally engage in retail therapy as a form of stress-relief! Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up even more stressed. Tova Zucker, a marketing manager and mother of seven, usually enjoys the “sound” of silence in the kitchen. But two years ago, a friend sent Tova a song she loved and now Tova loves it, too. She found herself singing it as she cooked, and a new tradition was born. “I made myself a playlist of happy, upbeat, fun favorites, and I sing my heart out as I cook. I’ve always loved singing and this is a terrific way to let off some steam while I’m working so hard.” E Listening to music has been shown to lower heart rate, blood pressure and anxiety. Similar to laughing, singing draws more oxygen into the body, leading to better circulation, endorphin release – and less stress. 57 | fyimagazineny.com Working in outreach on several campuses in the tristate area, Yehudis Klein and her husband, in their early thirties, end up with a packed house and table over Yom Tov. “Sukkos is one of the best times to invite people who are new to traditional Judaism. But I feel a lot of pressure to make the food extra-special and delicious – and all homemade.” Her husband is really busy, too, preparing shiurim, helping students get what they need for Yom Tov, and more. “It sounds funny,” Yehudis says, “but we schedule ‘dates’ with each other specifically during this busy season. We go for bagels or coffee, or we pick up sushi to have at home together. It’s a chance to break routine, spend time together, and reconnect.” She laughs. “And I get to eat something I didn’t make!” E Experts say that scheduling a regular date with your husband is a great way to nourish your relationship. Because it’s “official,” you’ll make it an important priority – and reap the stress-relieving benefits of spending time with someone you love and getting a change of scene.
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  take   a   break  B U S Y W O M E N S H A R E T H E I R  TIPS WRITTEN BY MALKA WIN...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT take•a•break B U S Y W O M E N S H A R E T H E I R TIPS WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER It’s after midnight, and I’m in the kitchen, wrapping different-sized pans in foil and eyeing the oven timer, wondering whose brilliant iadea it was (mine!) to bake just one more kugel. My knees and back are aching, my ankles buckling. I want to go to bed, but I know that tomorrow will look just the same. What I really need is… a break. FYI Magazine spoke with women of various ages and stages to see how they de-stress, unwind, and take a break during one of the busiest times of the year. E 56 | fyimagazineny.com “I like doing crafts,” says Devora Perl, a mother of seven who works as a personal assistant. “I used to put away all my supplies at the end of the summer, knowing I’d only get a chance to use them again around Chanukah. But I missed it too much. One day I told myself, ‘Devora, you deserve a break! Take a little time out each week and treat yourself to a project.’ Since then, I’ve always worked on something around Yom Tov time. It’s a good, creative outlet.” She made an afikomen bag in the wee hours of the nights leading up to Bedikas Chametz. She made wire and crystal napkin rings before Shavuot. And now? She’s finishing up the embroidery on a tablecloth she started some time ago. “I can’t wait to use it for Yom Tov. It represents something special to me,” she says. E Psychologists note that busy hands settle the mind, with the repetitive motions having a meditation-like effect. A recent study showed that people who engage in a hobby at least 20 minutes a week are less prone to fatigue. Hobby-doers also have higher levels of positive psychosocial states and lower levels of depression. From the time back-to-school shopping begins, right up until Sukkos, Elisheva Rubinoff* is super busy. This 40-year-old mother of four, from the Monsey area runs a home-based clothing business. Although she’s super-organized and starts her Yom Tov cooking well in advance, between work, “regular” life and cooking, she doesn’t get to sleep before 1:30 or 2 a.m. during the week or two leading up to Yom Tov. “I love shopping,” Elisheva confides. “I always arrange one ‘retail therapy’ session for myself during the busiest time. It’s my chance to decompress and my opportunity to pick up a bargain.” Elisheva says it feels good to find some fun, cheap game or toy for the kids for Yom Tov, or to choose some home décor item for her table or sukkah. “It doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. Just a well-planned trip to the right store or two, and I feel re-energized.” E According to researchers at the University of Michigan, shopping for stress relief (aka retail therapy) gives people a sense of control in their lives and takes away sadness. It has also been shown to lower blood pressure and temporarily distract people from stressors in their lives. A recent survey indicated that 91 percent of Americans occasionally engage in retail therapy as a form of stress-relief! Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up even more stressed. Tova Zucker, a marketing manager and mother of seven, usually enjoys the “sound” of silence in the kitchen. But two years ago, a friend sent Tova a song she loved and now Tova loves it, too. She found herself singing it as she cooked, and a new tradition was born. “I made myself a playlist of happy, upbeat, fun favorites, and I sing my heart out as I cook. I’ve always loved singing and this is a terrific way to let off some steam while I’m working so hard.” E Listening to music has been shown to lower heart rate, blood pressure and anxiety. Similar to laughing, singing draws more oxygen into the body, leading to better circulation, endorphin release – and less stress. 57 | fyimagazineny.com Working in outreach on several campuses in the tristate area, Yehudis Klein and her husband, in their early thirties, end up with a packed house and table over Yom Tov. “Sukkos is one of the best times to invite people who are new to traditional Judaism. But I feel a lot of pressure to make the food extra-special and delicious – and all homemade.” Her husband is really busy, too, preparing shiurim, helping students get what they need for Yom Tov, and more. “It sounds funny,” Yehudis says, “but we schedule ‘dates’ with each other specifically during this busy season. We go for bagels or coffee, or we pick up sushi to have at home together. It’s a chance to break routine, spend time together, and reconnect.” She laughs. “And I get to eat something I didn’t make!” E Experts say that scheduling a regular date with your husband is a great way to nourish your relationship. Because it’s “official,” you’ll make it an important priority – and reap the stress-relieving benefits of spending time with someone you love and getting a change of scene.
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  take   a   break  B U S Y W O M E N S H A R E T H E I R  TIPS WRITTEN BY MALKA WIN...
GET A HANDLE ON IT Spending her days glued to a computer screen and her nights in the kitchen, Mali Fried, a computer programmer and mother of five, finds that the best way to get a break during Yom Tov season is to make an appointment for one. “I always book a massage or reflexology appointment for Yom Tov season. When it’s on the calendar and it’s booked, it’s non-negotiable – I’ll go and I won’t end up feeling bad about taking time off.” The massage or reflexology is just what she needs. “It feels so good. I feel invigorated after, like my blood is circulating better. And it clears my mind, too.” E A Chinese study showed that 75 percent of people who went for reflexology treatments once a day for a week experienced dramatic improvement in their stress symptoms. GET A HANDLE ON IT Penina D., a bubby, is a very busy hostess come Yom Tov time. She prepares loads of food for her married children and grandchildren, whose varied tastes and numerous dietary restrictions and allergies keep her on her toes. “And let me tell you,” she laughs, “those toes – and feet, and legs and ankles -- are not as young as they used to be!” So how does Penina press “pause” on life? “I take opportunities throughout the day to sit down, put my feet up and make some calls to family and friends. I say I’m calling to wish them a good Yom Tov, which I am, but I’m also taking a break! It feels great to schmooze… and relax a bit.” E Calling a friend is one of the American Psychological Association’s top five picks for stress relief. Sharing with a loved one has a tremendous calming effect on the mind and body. 58 | fyimagazineny.com Although Judy Ehrlich, a Brooklyn-based nurse and mother of several young children, buys a lot of Yom Tov food, she still finds herself in the kitchen in the wee hours on the days leading up to Yom Tov. Then there’s laundry, shopping, and appointments “It’s a very stressful, exhausting time,” she admits. “Last year, I just felt like I needed to laugh, so I watched a bunch of funny clips and videos on my computer. It was true comic relief. Every night before bed, I took a few minutes to laugh over these silly things and I really felt a release. I’m planning to do it again this year and have even been saving clips for it.” E Doctors at the Mayo Clinic note that laughter increases one’s oxygen intake- stimulating the heart, lungs and muscles; relaxes the body, improves circulation and enhances endorphin production. A good, hearty laugh has been shown to leave a person’s muscles more relaxed for up to 45 minutes afterward. fyi How Much Should I Spend on Google Ads? WRITTEN BY BARUCH LEIFER Google Adwords is a great way to reach your target audience. In their moment of need, you can target them with ads that solve their problem. For most businesses, it *Name has been changed. is hard to find a better form of marketing than Google Adwords. 59 | fyimagazineny.com B ut the question is, how much to spend on ads? Similar to finding a Facebook budget (as we discussed in last issue), you first need to determine your goals. Are you looking for more traffic to a website or landing page? Or are you trying to increase the amount of calls or leads your business gets? Maybe you want to drive up direct sales on your website? Next, you need to decide on a reasonable timeframe in which you expect to hit these goals. A 100% increase in revenue overnight is obviously not realistic, and your
GET A HANDLE ON IT  Spending her days glued to a computer screen and her nights in the kitchen, Mali Fried, a computer pro...
GET A HANDLE ON IT Spending her days glued to a computer screen and her nights in the kitchen, Mali Fried, a computer programmer and mother of five, finds that the best way to get a break during Yom Tov season is to make an appointment for one. “I always book a massage or reflexology appointment for Yom Tov season. When it’s on the calendar and it’s booked, it’s non-negotiable – I’ll go and I won’t end up feeling bad about taking time off.” The massage or reflexology is just what she needs. “It feels so good. I feel invigorated after, like my blood is circulating better. And it clears my mind, too.” E A Chinese study showed that 75 percent of people who went for reflexology treatments once a day for a week experienced dramatic improvement in their stress symptoms. GET A HANDLE ON IT Penina D., a bubby, is a very busy hostess come Yom Tov time. She prepares loads of food for her married children and grandchildren, whose varied tastes and numerous dietary restrictions and allergies keep her on her toes. “And let me tell you,” she laughs, “those toes – and feet, and legs and ankles -- are not as young as they used to be!” So how does Penina press “pause” on life? “I take opportunities throughout the day to sit down, put my feet up and make some calls to family and friends. I say I’m calling to wish them a good Yom Tov, which I am, but I’m also taking a break! It feels great to schmooze… and relax a bit.” E Calling a friend is one of the American Psychological Association’s top five picks for stress relief. Sharing with a loved one has a tremendous calming effect on the mind and body. 58 | fyimagazineny.com Although Judy Ehrlich, a Brooklyn-based nurse and mother of several young children, buys a lot of Yom Tov food, she still finds herself in the kitchen in the wee hours on the days leading up to Yom Tov. Then there’s laundry, shopping, and appointments “It’s a very stressful, exhausting time,” she admits. “Last year, I just felt like I needed to laugh, so I watched a bunch of funny clips and videos on my computer. It was true comic relief. Every night before bed, I took a few minutes to laugh over these silly things and I really felt a release. I’m planning to do it again this year and have even been saving clips for it.” E Doctors at the Mayo Clinic note that laughter increases one’s oxygen intake- stimulating the heart, lungs and muscles; relaxes the body, improves circulation and enhances endorphin production. A good, hearty laugh has been shown to leave a person’s muscles more relaxed for up to 45 minutes afterward. fyi How Much Should I Spend on Google Ads? WRITTEN BY BARUCH LEIFER Google Adwords is a great way to reach your target audience. In their moment of need, you can target them with ads that solve their problem. For most businesses, it *Name has been changed. is hard to find a better form of marketing than Google Adwords. 59 | fyimagazineny.com B ut the question is, how much to spend on ads? Similar to finding a Facebook budget (as we discussed in last issue), you first need to determine your goals. Are you looking for more traffic to a website or landing page? Or are you trying to increase the amount of calls or leads your business gets? Maybe you want to drive up direct sales on your website? Next, you need to decide on a reasonable timeframe in which you expect to hit these goals. A 100% increase in revenue overnight is obviously not realistic, and your
GET A HANDLE ON IT  Spending her days glued to a computer screen and her nights in the kitchen, Mali Fried, a computer pro...
GET A HANDLE ON IT EXAMPLE 1: GET A HANDLE ON IT hair accessories related keywords certified accountant related keywords EXAMPLE 2: EXAMPLE 3: 1 1 1 Goal: Increase traffic by 10% Goal: Increase leads by 10% hair accessories related keywords Goal: Increase sales an extra 50 a month 2 2 2 New Clicks Goal: 10% of current 10,000 = 1,000 New Leads Goal: 10% of current 5,000 = 500 Sales Conversion: 2% of 2,500 clicks = 500 conversions 3 3 CPC: $0.73 CPC: $10 RESULT: $730 per month RESULT: $5,000 per month RESULT: $1,825 per month goals should be more in line with “I want to increase website traffic by 10% over the next 3 months” or “I want to drive 10% more calls to my business in the next 4 months.” Now, we need to find the CPC (cost per click) of the keywords to target. Using Google Keyword Planner, you can find a) keyword ideas relevant to your business, and b) their estimated CPC. For example, if you sell hair accessories using the keyword planner, you find “hair clips,” “headbands, and “hair bows” with a suggested CPC of $.71, $1.06, and $.42 respectively. It is important to note that Google’s suggestions are based on achieving a second position ad placement. This means your ad would show in a high spot and would most likely get a decent CTR (click through rate). You can also bid much lower and have a lower CTR, but for now we will work with these numbers. Combining simple math with our goal, we can find the ideal budget. Example 1: You want to increase traffic by 10% for hair accessories-related keywords. Your current traffic is 10,000 visitors per month, so that means you want another 1,000 clicks. The average CPC for the 3 keywords is $.73; multiply that by 1,000 clicks and you have a budget of $730 per month. Example 2: You want to increase leads by 10%. Let’s say the keyword you target is “certified accountant” with a fictional CPC of $10. Currently, your site gets 5,000 visits and converts at a 10% conversion rate (conversion rate is the percentage of visitors that take a desired action, in this case becoming a lead by submitting a form), giving you 500 leads per month. You would like to grow that by another 50 leads. At a 10% conversion rate you would need 500 clicks; with a CPC of $10, you are looking at spending an additional $5,000 to get those leads. Example 3: Back to hair accessories. Your website with 10,000 visitors converts at 2% giving you 200 sales per month. You want to increase that to 250 sales so you need another 50. At 2% conversion you would need 2,500 clicks to get 500 conversions. Multiplied by the average CPC of $.73, you would need a budget of $1,825. Just so you know: These examples definitely illustrate a proper method you can use to determine a budget, but in fact are very basic as well. In reality, Google Adwords is very complex and there are many factors to take into account. In general, there won’t be only 3 keyword suggestions; there will be closer to 100. There is also the average monthly search volume to take into account, which affects the inventory of clicks. Many of those keywords will be “better” than others as well. HOWEVER, this is still a very good way to get a rough idea of how much you will need to spend to get the desired results.fyi 60 | fyimagazineny.com 3 CPC: $0.73 Baruch Leifer is a professional digital marketing specialist. To see how Baruch can help your business grow, email baruch@ centsibleclicks.com for a FREE consultation. Or visit centsibleclicks.com. 5 WAYS TO CUT EREV YOM TOV EXPENSES WRITTEN BY NISSI UNGER 1 LISTS! LISTS! LISTS! Look over your recipes and write down all you will need for Yom Tov for all the children and the grandchildren. And when you get to the store, don’t veer away from your list. Stick to the budget. If you are taking kids with you, tell them beforehand that you will not buy expensive candy or toys they find in the aisle— only food that is on the list. Even better: write the list down and send your spouse or child that is old enough to grocery shop. That’s how you will not end up buying expensive mints, candy, and extra steak on a whim! 2 SERVE SIMPLE FOODS PRIOR TO YOM TOV About two years ago, when my daughter was four, she came into the kitchen and nonchalantly announced that she wished I would die! I could not imagine what was wrong. I had not scolded her and we were laughing together two minutes before. “What’s bothering you, Chany? Why do you want me to die?” I begged. “Because I would take care of myself and I would make farina for breakfast and supper every day!” I didn’t know if I should cry that my daughter
GET A HANDLE ON IT  EXAMPLE 1   GET A HANDLE ON IT  hair accessories related keywords  certified accountant related keywor...
GET A HANDLE ON IT EXAMPLE 1: GET A HANDLE ON IT hair accessories related keywords certified accountant related keywords EXAMPLE 2: EXAMPLE 3: 1 1 1 Goal: Increase traffic by 10% Goal: Increase leads by 10% hair accessories related keywords Goal: Increase sales an extra 50 a month 2 2 2 New Clicks Goal: 10% of current 10,000 = 1,000 New Leads Goal: 10% of current 5,000 = 500 Sales Conversion: 2% of 2,500 clicks = 500 conversions 3 3 CPC: $0.73 CPC: $10 RESULT: $730 per month RESULT: $5,000 per month RESULT: $1,825 per month goals should be more in line with “I want to increase website traffic by 10% over the next 3 months” or “I want to drive 10% more calls to my business in the next 4 months.” Now, we need to find the CPC (cost per click) of the keywords to target. Using Google Keyword Planner, you can find a) keyword ideas relevant to your business, and b) their estimated CPC. For example, if you sell hair accessories using the keyword planner, you find “hair clips,” “headbands, and “hair bows” with a suggested CPC of $.71, $1.06, and $.42 respectively. It is important to note that Google’s suggestions are based on achieving a second position ad placement. This means your ad would show in a high spot and would most likely get a decent CTR (click through rate). You can also bid much lower and have a lower CTR, but for now we will work with these numbers. Combining simple math with our goal, we can find the ideal budget. Example 1: You want to increase traffic by 10% for hair accessories-related keywords. Your current traffic is 10,000 visitors per month, so that means you want another 1,000 clicks. The average CPC for the 3 keywords is $.73; multiply that by 1,000 clicks and you have a budget of $730 per month. Example 2: You want to increase leads by 10%. Let’s say the keyword you target is “certified accountant” with a fictional CPC of $10. Currently, your site gets 5,000 visits and converts at a 10% conversion rate (conversion rate is the percentage of visitors that take a desired action, in this case becoming a lead by submitting a form), giving you 500 leads per month. You would like to grow that by another 50 leads. At a 10% conversion rate you would need 500 clicks; with a CPC of $10, you are looking at spending an additional $5,000 to get those leads. Example 3: Back to hair accessories. Your website with 10,000 visitors converts at 2% giving you 200 sales per month. You want to increase that to 250 sales so you need another 50. At 2% conversion you would need 2,500 clicks to get 500 conversions. Multiplied by the average CPC of $.73, you would need a budget of $1,825. Just so you know: These examples definitely illustrate a proper method you can use to determine a budget, but in fact are very basic as well. In reality, Google Adwords is very complex and there are many factors to take into account. In general, there won’t be only 3 keyword suggestions; there will be closer to 100. There is also the average monthly search volume to take into account, which affects the inventory of clicks. Many of those keywords will be “better” than others as well. HOWEVER, this is still a very good way to get a rough idea of how much you will need to spend to get the desired results.fyi 60 | fyimagazineny.com 3 CPC: $0.73 Baruch Leifer is a professional digital marketing specialist. To see how Baruch can help your business grow, email baruch@ centsibleclicks.com for a FREE consultation. Or visit centsibleclicks.com. 5 WAYS TO CUT EREV YOM TOV EXPENSES WRITTEN BY NISSI UNGER 1 LISTS! LISTS! LISTS! Look over your recipes and write down all you will need for Yom Tov for all the children and the grandchildren. And when you get to the store, don’t veer away from your list. Stick to the budget. If you are taking kids with you, tell them beforehand that you will not buy expensive candy or toys they find in the aisle— only food that is on the list. Even better: write the list down and send your spouse or child that is old enough to grocery shop. That’s how you will not end up buying expensive mints, candy, and extra steak on a whim! 2 SERVE SIMPLE FOODS PRIOR TO YOM TOV About two years ago, when my daughter was four, she came into the kitchen and nonchalantly announced that she wished I would die! I could not imagine what was wrong. I had not scolded her and we were laughing together two minutes before. “What’s bothering you, Chany? Why do you want me to die?” I begged. “Because I would take care of myself and I would make farina for breakfast and supper every day!” I didn’t know if I should cry that my daughter
GET A HANDLE ON IT  EXAMPLE 1   GET A HANDLE ON IT  hair accessories related keywords  certified accountant related keywor...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT positive•parenting wanted to trade me for a bowl of farina, or laugh that she was so refreshingly young and uncomplicated. Farina for dinner may not be gourmet, and sometimes it’s tempting to order food Erev Yom Tov, because who has time to cook dinner? But simple dinners like grilled cheese sandwiches or a tuna melt can delight a kid as much as a slice of pizza. You can really slash expensive eating the week before Yom Tov, and do easier creative sandwich dinners or a bowl of oatmeal or farina. 3 SEEK OUT DISCOUNTS AND FREEBIES Need more beds to accommodate the guests? Look for community circulars and specials, and compare prices on furniture or other big-ticket items. You can save big by comparing prices in stores. In addition, if your budget is maxed out, skip the toys and books this Yom Tov! They can really put an extra strain on your budget. But your kids don’t have to lose out! Arrange a toy swap with a neighbor or friend and do the same for books, or take advantage of your local library. 4 WRITTEN BY CHAYA GUTTMAN, LCSW AND LEAH DAVIDOWITZ, LCSW PAY WITH CASH The thing about cash is that it is real. For months, my husband and I budgeted by not using our credit cards. And it works like a charm. I knew exactly how much cash I had, and made decisions each week based on the cash that was left after immediate expenses. You don’t swipe anything or push off paying when you use cash. It’s also quite clear how much you can actually spend. So if you are short on cash, you will not buy extra ice cream or a seven-layer cake. You are likely to focus on the meat, fruits and veggies, and all you really need to make Yom Tov. Psychologically, swiping plastic may make you feel like you have an unlimited amount of funds, but that is true only until you need to pay the bill! 5 BE UNLOYAL Not to family of course, but to brands. Brand loyalty costs a 62 | fyimagazineny.com fortune. By comparing food items and not sticking to the brand you have known all your life, you can save a significant amount of money on your grocery bill every week. Shopping in your pharmacy? Buy the pharmacy brand of wipes, diapers, toothpaste, and detergent! It will save you a lot of money! To illustrate, according to Bloomberg.com, a 100-tablet package of store-brand aspirin at CVS costs you $1.99. Bayer aspirin is three times that much.  And generic brands work just as well in most cases. Also, these stores often have points and rewards for signing up to their stores. Go for it. I have saved hundreds of dollars buying Walgreens brand items, especially before Yom Tov when I buy in bulk. According to Bloomberg. com “…if people bought store brands whenever they could, they'd save as much as $44 billion.” That means all of us! With that kind of money on the line, doesn’t it pay to be brand unloyal? fyi SIBLING RIVALRY: How To Create a More Peaceful Family Dynamic in Your Home “I hate Shlomo!” “You love her more than me!” A hhh…Sibling Rivalry. The one component of family dynamics that can drive even the most relaxed parent to the brink of insanity. Although siblings can be the best of friends, it is rare to find a child who gets along perfectly with his or her siblings. This phenomenon is hardly a new one. Sibling conflict is as old as Cain and Hevel and as renowned as Cinderella and her evil step sisters. And so, in conjunction with the Yomim Tovim when sibling conflict often reaches an all-time high, we bring you a greater understanding of the root causes of sibling rivalry and some parenting techniques that actually work! WHAT CAUSES SIBLING RIVALRY? There are many factors involved in the root cause of sibling conflict. It is important to remember that children don’t have the ability to choose the “How come she always gets special privileges and I don’t?” family they are born into. This means that children are forced to deal with a variety of genders, ages, and temperaments in their family makeup. This is not in and of itself a negative thing; just a fact of life which can effectively prepare a child for the circumstances in their lifetime, both negative and positive. Some factors that attribute to sibling disputes are: J POSITION IN THE FAMILY: Oldest children are often given more responsibilities, and younger children may spend their entire lives trying to live up to their older siblings. Oldest children in particular are faced with the unique challenge of giving up their prized spot as the “only” child….forever. Therefore, older children often feel resentful towards their younger siblings and feel like they “get away” with more. 63 | fyimagazineny.com Younger children often idolize and idealize their older siblings and feel like they can never measure up. J GENDER AND TEMPERAMENT: Children of differing gender and/or temperament have a different way of going about most aspects of their lives, and this can often cause a clash in the way that they view the world around them. This becomes most apparent during play and chore time. Children of differing genders may start out as best of friends and drift apart as they get older and less understanding of each other’s differences. J AGE: In the process of growing up together, children will experience “waves” of time in which they either play together or apart depending on developmental stage. A four and seven year old may gravitate towards
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  positive   parenting  wanted to trade me for a bowl of farina, or laugh that she w...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT positive•parenting wanted to trade me for a bowl of farina, or laugh that she was so refreshingly young and uncomplicated. Farina for dinner may not be gourmet, and sometimes it’s tempting to order food Erev Yom Tov, because who has time to cook dinner? But simple dinners like grilled cheese sandwiches or a tuna melt can delight a kid as much as a slice of pizza. You can really slash expensive eating the week before Yom Tov, and do easier creative sandwich dinners or a bowl of oatmeal or farina. 3 SEEK OUT DISCOUNTS AND FREEBIES Need more beds to accommodate the guests? Look for community circulars and specials, and compare prices on furniture or other big-ticket items. You can save big by comparing prices in stores. In addition, if your budget is maxed out, skip the toys and books this Yom Tov! They can really put an extra strain on your budget. But your kids don’t have to lose out! Arrange a toy swap with a neighbor or friend and do the same for books, or take advantage of your local library. 4 WRITTEN BY CHAYA GUTTMAN, LCSW AND LEAH DAVIDOWITZ, LCSW PAY WITH CASH The thing about cash is that it is real. For months, my husband and I budgeted by not using our credit cards. And it works like a charm. I knew exactly how much cash I had, and made decisions each week based on the cash that was left after immediate expenses. You don’t swipe anything or push off paying when you use cash. It’s also quite clear how much you can actually spend. So if you are short on cash, you will not buy extra ice cream or a seven-layer cake. You are likely to focus on the meat, fruits and veggies, and all you really need to make Yom Tov. Psychologically, swiping plastic may make you feel like you have an unlimited amount of funds, but that is true only until you need to pay the bill! 5 BE UNLOYAL Not to family of course, but to brands. Brand loyalty costs a 62 | fyimagazineny.com fortune. By comparing food items and not sticking to the brand you have known all your life, you can save a significant amount of money on your grocery bill every week. Shopping in your pharmacy? Buy the pharmacy brand of wipes, diapers, toothpaste, and detergent! It will save you a lot of money! To illustrate, according to Bloomberg.com, a 100-tablet package of store-brand aspirin at CVS costs you $1.99. Bayer aspirin is three times that much.  And generic brands work just as well in most cases. Also, these stores often have points and rewards for signing up to their stores. Go for it. I have saved hundreds of dollars buying Walgreens brand items, especially before Yom Tov when I buy in bulk. According to Bloomberg. com “…if people bought store brands whenever they could, they'd save as much as $44 billion.” That means all of us! With that kind of money on the line, doesn’t it pay to be brand unloyal? fyi SIBLING RIVALRY: How To Create a More Peaceful Family Dynamic in Your Home “I hate Shlomo!” “You love her more than me!” A hhh…Sibling Rivalry. The one component of family dynamics that can drive even the most relaxed parent to the brink of insanity. Although siblings can be the best of friends, it is rare to find a child who gets along perfectly with his or her siblings. This phenomenon is hardly a new one. Sibling conflict is as old as Cain and Hevel and as renowned as Cinderella and her evil step sisters. And so, in conjunction with the Yomim Tovim when sibling conflict often reaches an all-time high, we bring you a greater understanding of the root causes of sibling rivalry and some parenting techniques that actually work! WHAT CAUSES SIBLING RIVALRY? There are many factors involved in the root cause of sibling conflict. It is important to remember that children don’t have the ability to choose the “How come she always gets special privileges and I don’t?” family they are born into. This means that children are forced to deal with a variety of genders, ages, and temperaments in their family makeup. This is not in and of itself a negative thing; just a fact of life which can effectively prepare a child for the circumstances in their lifetime, both negative and positive. Some factors that attribute to sibling disputes are: J POSITION IN THE FAMILY: Oldest children are often given more responsibilities, and younger children may spend their entire lives trying to live up to their older siblings. Oldest children in particular are faced with the unique challenge of giving up their prized spot as the “only” child….forever. Therefore, older children often feel resentful towards their younger siblings and feel like they “get away” with more. 63 | fyimagazineny.com Younger children often idolize and idealize their older siblings and feel like they can never measure up. J GENDER AND TEMPERAMENT: Children of differing gender and/or temperament have a different way of going about most aspects of their lives, and this can often cause a clash in the way that they view the world around them. This becomes most apparent during play and chore time. Children of differing genders may start out as best of friends and drift apart as they get older and less understanding of each other’s differences. J AGE: In the process of growing up together, children will experience “waves” of time in which they either play together or apart depending on developmental stage. A four and seven year old may gravitate towards
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  positive   parenting  wanted to trade me for a bowl of farina, or laugh that she w...
GET A HANDLE ON IT the same type of play, but as they get older they may experience times where their age difference seems starker in this regard. J PARENTAL ATTITUDE: This may be the most important factor in the root cause of sibling rivalry. Parents are often advised to behave in a “fair” manner towards their children; however, this is almost impossible to do, as parents will inevitably feel differently about each of their children and react to their behaviors accordingly. This is true for the simple fact that children require a different sort of parenting dependent on their own special brand of uniqueness. In short, parents who strive to treat each child equally are setting themselves up for failure. Children should thus be treated according to their age, temperament, gender, position in family, and consequential to their behavior and needs. As Mishlei teaches us so well: “chanoch le’naar al pi darko, gam ki yazkin lo yasur mimena” Educate a child according to his/her way and even when older, he/she will not deviate from it. This leads us to examine some practical tips on how to best handle sibling rivalry in order to create a good family balance: J TEACH PROBLEM SOLVING AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION: Although the bickering may be driving you crazy, try not to intervene unless there is physical aggression involved or the fighting becomes excessive. This teaches your children how to resolve their own conflicts which may ultimately lead to less fighting. Remember that intervening each time your children argue may lead them to believe that you are favoring one over the other, which leads to further resentment and conflict. Teach your children how to best collaborate and compromise. Refrain from yelling and model effective communication by listening and clarifying each child’s point of view. Then ask your kids to come up with a solution on their own. Children are often excellent problem solvers and may surprise you! If necessary, help them by proposing several solutions and have them choose one that they can best compromise on. (i.e. Writing a schedule that will allow each child a set amount of time to play with a new toy.) your child feel special. During this time, make sure to remain validating, empathic, and interested in your child’s life. J ENFORCE YOUR OWN RULES: Certain “non-negotiable” rules should be set and enforced for the entire family. Examples of this include no hitting, destroying property, yelling, etc. Praise all children for following rules and enforce the rules in a consistent manner with each of your children. J ALLIES: Often, parents complain of their “most challenging” child who regularly “starts up” with their siblings. Frequently, but not always, this is the oldest child or the child who feels most misunderstood within the family makeup. Create an ally in this child with a simple wink and a nod, perhaps alluding to a special joke or memory the two of you share. Include this child in the simple process of your life, such as shopping and decision making to help them willingly cooperate with their siblings. Remember that acting out is often a cry for help. Keep in mind that it is completely normal for siblings to fight amongst themselves. By implementing the aforementioned techniques, you should note a decrease in the rivalry. At the very least you should feel less panicked about the situation and take it all in stride; however, when fighting escalates to the point of emotional and physical aggression, it should be dealt with in a more specialized manner. If you feel the sibling rivalry in your home has become excessive, speak to a therapist in your community to get the help your children deserve. fyi J DON’T MAKE COMPARISONS OR PLAY FAVORITES: This is perhaps one of the most damaging things a parent can do to their children and to their relationships with their siblings. Every family has that one member who most often gets into trouble and defies rules. On the flip side, every family has the one “angel” who is almost always agreeable and happy. Never compare your children (“Why can’t you be more like your brother?”) or give preferential treatment. J ALONE TIME: Children often act out when they are seeking attention. If a child feels that they aren’t getting enough of your attention, they may feel resentful towards their siblings. Although it is difficult to spend alone time with each child, especially in large families, it is imperative that you do so to foster a healthy parent-child connection. Alone time does not always necessitate elaborate trips or even time away from the house. Ten to fifteen minutes of alone time (think grocery shopping or folding laundry together) is often enough attention to make 64 | fyimagazineny.com J KEEP CHILDREN IN THE LOOP: If there is a change in family dynamic, such as the upcoming birth of a baby, include your children in the process of welcoming and caring for the baby. Muffins-N-Moms is an interactive, educational parenting workshop facilitated by Chaya Guttman, LCSW and Leah Davidowitz, LCSW.  Feeling overwhelmed? Email muffinsnmoms@gmail.com for a free phone consultation. Individual parenting sessions are also available by request. Do you know what chemicals are lurking in your everyday life? Cleaning products and snacks have more in them than you’d like to think... ADOPTION IS A REWARDING & WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE ...but the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. WE ALL WANT TO BE HER, the all capable homemaker with the means to invite and entertain company. On the flip side, read up on how to be a great guest.
GET A HANDLE ON IT  the same type of play, but as they get older they may experience times where their age difference seem...
GET A HANDLE ON IT the same type of play, but as they get older they may experience times where their age difference seems starker in this regard. J PARENTAL ATTITUDE: This may be the most important factor in the root cause of sibling rivalry. Parents are often advised to behave in a “fair” manner towards their children; however, this is almost impossible to do, as parents will inevitably feel differently about each of their children and react to their behaviors accordingly. This is true for the simple fact that children require a different sort of parenting dependent on their own special brand of uniqueness. In short, parents who strive to treat each child equally are setting themselves up for failure. Children should thus be treated according to their age, temperament, gender, position in family, and consequential to their behavior and needs. As Mishlei teaches us so well: “chanoch le’naar al pi darko, gam ki yazkin lo yasur mimena” Educate a child according to his/her way and even when older, he/she will not deviate from it. This leads us to examine some practical tips on how to best handle sibling rivalry in order to create a good family balance: J TEACH PROBLEM SOLVING AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION: Although the bickering may be driving you crazy, try not to intervene unless there is physical aggression involved or the fighting becomes excessive. This teaches your children how to resolve their own conflicts which may ultimately lead to less fighting. Remember that intervening each time your children argue may lead them to believe that you are favoring one over the other, which leads to further resentment and conflict. Teach your children how to best collaborate and compromise. Refrain from yelling and model effective communication by listening and clarifying each child’s point of view. Then ask your kids to come up with a solution on their own. Children are often excellent problem solvers and may surprise you! If necessary, help them by proposing several solutions and have them choose one that they can best compromise on. (i.e. Writing a schedule that will allow each child a set amount of time to play with a new toy.) your child feel special. During this time, make sure to remain validating, empathic, and interested in your child’s life. J ENFORCE YOUR OWN RULES: Certain “non-negotiable” rules should be set and enforced for the entire family. Examples of this include no hitting, destroying property, yelling, etc. Praise all children for following rules and enforce the rules in a consistent manner with each of your children. J ALLIES: Often, parents complain of their “most challenging” child who regularly “starts up” with their siblings. Frequently, but not always, this is the oldest child or the child who feels most misunderstood within the family makeup. Create an ally in this child with a simple wink and a nod, perhaps alluding to a special joke or memory the two of you share. Include this child in the simple process of your life, such as shopping and decision making to help them willingly cooperate with their siblings. Remember that acting out is often a cry for help. Keep in mind that it is completely normal for siblings to fight amongst themselves. By implementing the aforementioned techniques, you should note a decrease in the rivalry. At the very least you should feel less panicked about the situation and take it all in stride; however, when fighting escalates to the point of emotional and physical aggression, it should be dealt with in a more specialized manner. If you feel the sibling rivalry in your home has become excessive, speak to a therapist in your community to get the help your children deserve. fyi J DON’T MAKE COMPARISONS OR PLAY FAVORITES: This is perhaps one of the most damaging things a parent can do to their children and to their relationships with their siblings. Every family has that one member who most often gets into trouble and defies rules. On the flip side, every family has the one “angel” who is almost always agreeable and happy. Never compare your children (“Why can’t you be more like your brother?”) or give preferential treatment. J ALONE TIME: Children often act out when they are seeking attention. If a child feels that they aren’t getting enough of your attention, they may feel resentful towards their siblings. Although it is difficult to spend alone time with each child, especially in large families, it is imperative that you do so to foster a healthy parent-child connection. Alone time does not always necessitate elaborate trips or even time away from the house. Ten to fifteen minutes of alone time (think grocery shopping or folding laundry together) is often enough attention to make 64 | fyimagazineny.com J KEEP CHILDREN IN THE LOOP: If there is a change in family dynamic, such as the upcoming birth of a baby, include your children in the process of welcoming and caring for the baby. Muffins-N-Moms is an interactive, educational parenting workshop facilitated by Chaya Guttman, LCSW and Leah Davidowitz, LCSW.  Feeling overwhelmed? Email muffinsnmoms@gmail.com for a free phone consultation. Individual parenting sessions are also available by request. Do you know what chemicals are lurking in your everyday life? Cleaning products and snacks have more in them than you’d like to think... ADOPTION IS A REWARDING & WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE ...but the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. WE ALL WANT TO BE HER, the all capable homemaker with the means to invite and entertain company. On the flip side, read up on how to be a great guest.
GET A HANDLE ON IT  the same type of play, but as they get older they may experience times where their age difference seem...
ARE THERE TOXIC CHEMICALS IN THE PRODUCTS YOU USE EVERYDAY? WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER 66 | fyimagazineny.com 67 | fyimagazineny.com
ARE THERE  TOXIC CHEMICALS IN THE PRODUCTS YOU USE EVERYDAY  WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER  66   fyimagazineny.com  67   fyimagaz...
ARE THERE TOXIC CHEMICALS IN THE PRODUCTS YOU USE EVERYDAY? WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER 66 | fyimagazineny.com 67 | fyimagazineny.com
ARE THERE  TOXIC CHEMICALS IN THE PRODUCTS YOU USE EVERYDAY  WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER  66   fyimagazineny.com  67   fyimagaz...
IT ALL BEGAN WITH A YOGURT. My 5-year old daughter was simultaneously eating lunch and reading the ingredients off her yogurt label, when she turned to me and asked, “Mommy, what’s red 40?” To my horror, the seemingly innocuous yogurt indeed contained some food coloring! Now, I do not consider myself a health nut; notice I was feeding my children sugar-filled yogurts as part of a “healthy” lunch. Nevertheless, the presence of chemical coloring in a food where it was totally unnecessary upset me. I t’s not only yogurts, though; when you look up ingredients in any processed foods, you find words such as azodicarbonamide, potassium bromate and benzoate preservatives, which do not roll easily off the tongue nor rest easy on our minds. While each one has its reason for being in the food, they are all banned in the EU because of their alleged connection to various cancers, birth defects and organ damage. Azodicarbonamide is also known as “the yoga-mat chemical” because it is found in yoga mats, and until quite recently it was used by Subway, McDonald’s and other fast food chains to condition their bread dough. Sounds delicious, doesn’t it? Even fruits and veggies are not necessarily innocent; they may host a bunch of pesticides that will poison you, or they may even be genetically modified! Oh, and the cleaning agents you use? Do you realize you inhale them every time you spritz your mirrors and mop your floors? The very products that make your house sparkle and shine often contain ingredients that are labeled as carcinogens, asthma inducers, and endocrine disrupters. Laundry detergents are some of the worst offenders, containing chemical fragrances and brighteners that are classified as carcinogens as well. That smell of clean laundry that you love? That could be the smell of cancer. 68 | fyimagazineny.com We’re not done. Take a good, hard look at your hygiene and beauty routine. There are chemicals in every product you use, from your deodorant to your shampoo, and definitely in your makeup and hair products. These chemicals have been associated with maladies, from cancer to obesity to cardiovascular diseases. The parabens that make your shampoos smell amazing may give you breast cancer. That sunscreen you slathered on to avoid skin cancer? Big Pharma sure got you in a bind, because that could give you cancer, too! According to the health experts, this is all because our government allows all these industries to go virtually unregulated, allowing them to choose their ingredients and then basically test us to see if we react adversely to them. Nutritionists advise eating organic fruits and vegetables, drinking bottled water, and avoiding plastics, store receipts, and chemicals as much as possible. But let’s face it; it’s hopeless. We are surrounded by chemicals and will always be, and we have no hope of avoiding the consequences. CHEMOPHOBIA Have I frightened you enough? Welcome to the world of chemophobia. Yes, it’s an actual word, and it describes people who are simply frightened of chemicals. And who can blame us? The warnings are everywhere! Look up the ingredients of almost any of your favorite products, and you will discover that they will make you get sick and die. What they don’t tell you is how minute the chance is of that actually happening. For starters, while an ingredient may be 69 | fyimagazineny.com
IT ALL BEGAN WITH A YOGURT.  My 5-year old daughter was simultaneously eating lunch and reading the ingredients off her yo...
IT ALL BEGAN WITH A YOGURT. My 5-year old daughter was simultaneously eating lunch and reading the ingredients off her yogurt label, when she turned to me and asked, “Mommy, what’s red 40?” To my horror, the seemingly innocuous yogurt indeed contained some food coloring! Now, I do not consider myself a health nut; notice I was feeding my children sugar-filled yogurts as part of a “healthy” lunch. Nevertheless, the presence of chemical coloring in a food where it was totally unnecessary upset me. I t’s not only yogurts, though; when you look up ingredients in any processed foods, you find words such as azodicarbonamide, potassium bromate and benzoate preservatives, which do not roll easily off the tongue nor rest easy on our minds. While each one has its reason for being in the food, they are all banned in the EU because of their alleged connection to various cancers, birth defects and organ damage. Azodicarbonamide is also known as “the yoga-mat chemical” because it is found in yoga mats, and until quite recently it was used by Subway, McDonald’s and other fast food chains to condition their bread dough. Sounds delicious, doesn’t it? Even fruits and veggies are not necessarily innocent; they may host a bunch of pesticides that will poison you, or they may even be genetically modified! Oh, and the cleaning agents you use? Do you realize you inhale them every time you spritz your mirrors and mop your floors? The very products that make your house sparkle and shine often contain ingredients that are labeled as carcinogens, asthma inducers, and endocrine disrupters. Laundry detergents are some of the worst offenders, containing chemical fragrances and brighteners that are classified as carcinogens as well. That smell of clean laundry that you love? That could be the smell of cancer. 68 | fyimagazineny.com We’re not done. Take a good, hard look at your hygiene and beauty routine. There are chemicals in every product you use, from your deodorant to your shampoo, and definitely in your makeup and hair products. These chemicals have been associated with maladies, from cancer to obesity to cardiovascular diseases. The parabens that make your shampoos smell amazing may give you breast cancer. That sunscreen you slathered on to avoid skin cancer? Big Pharma sure got you in a bind, because that could give you cancer, too! According to the health experts, this is all because our government allows all these industries to go virtually unregulated, allowing them to choose their ingredients and then basically test us to see if we react adversely to them. Nutritionists advise eating organic fruits and vegetables, drinking bottled water, and avoiding plastics, store receipts, and chemicals as much as possible. But let’s face it; it’s hopeless. We are surrounded by chemicals and will always be, and we have no hope of avoiding the consequences. CHEMOPHOBIA Have I frightened you enough? Welcome to the world of chemophobia. Yes, it’s an actual word, and it describes people who are simply frightened of chemicals. And who can blame us? The warnings are everywhere! Look up the ingredients of almost any of your favorite products, and you will discover that they will make you get sick and die. What they don’t tell you is how minute the chance is of that actually happening. For starters, while an ingredient may be 69 | fyimagazineny.com
IT ALL BEGAN WITH A YOGURT.  My 5-year old daughter was simultaneously eating lunch and reading the ingredients off her yo...
classed as toxic and a carcinogen, there are no studies on how much of a substance will lead to death or illness in human beings. All researchers can tell you is that a huge amount - often an amount larger than you will ever ingest in your lifetime - will give a rat cancer. In many of these tests, the rats would ingest the chemicals, process them, and excrete them; however, if the rats were directly injected with the chemicals, then they would develop tumors — which is obviously how you would use your shampoo or face cream, right? Scientists also fail to mention that even if the rats do get cancer, that does not necessarily mean a human being would. Rats and people are different, you know. For example, rats do not develop lung cancer from cigarette smoke like humans do. The amount used in the studies matters as well. As the common chemistry mantra goes, the dose makes the poison. Any substance, including water, can be toxic if the amount imbibed is too large for a person to handle. Thus, when health websites discuss toxins in your moisturizer, the chemical may have been proven toxic to a rat, when ingested/injected at a level larger than you would ever ingest in a day. It’s also easy for us to get confused into believing that so-called natural chemicals, with names that are easy to pronounce, are less scary than those that are synthesized in a lab with names "It’s also easy for us to get confused into believing that so-called natural chemicals, with names that are easy to pronounce, are less scary than those that are synthesized in a lab with names that sound foreign to us." that sound foreign to us. That’s exactly the reason bisphenol A (or BPA) a compound found in many plastics, which has been in over 7,000 studies, has been pronounced safe. (“In one recent study, doses of over 40, 400, and 4,000 times the estimated exposure in humans caused no health problems in mice.”) It has, however, still provoked enough public outcry for companies to stop using it and for the FDA to ban it. This is the case, even though BPA can protect us from natural toxins, such as those causing botulism. (BPA is a synthetic compound that prevents foods, such as canned tomatoes from developing toxins.) Did you know that animals, plants, and humans produce a certain amount of the toxins that we wish to ban from all products? If you eat a cup of apple seeds, even if they are grown organically, you will ingest enough cyanide to kill you. Formaldehyde, dioxin, and phytoestrogens are all chemicals classified as carcinogens and endocrine disruptors that are naturally found in humans and plants. ORGANICALLY SPEAKING Let’s talk organics. So expensive, but so worth it, because we should all aim to keep ourselves and our 70 | fyimagazineny.com 71 | fyimagazineny.com families healthy, right? We should, but organics is not necessarily the way to go. No studies have ever proven organic produce to taste better or to be more nutritious than regular produce. As for pesticides, did you know that 99.9% of the pesticides you eat will be the ones the plant itself produces to keep predators at bay? I sure didn’t. Plants develop their own natural pesticides. Just as animals will often use poisons or camouflage to protect themselves from predators, G-d gave plants the means to protect themselves as well. That means that when we ingest pesticides, only a tiny amount of it will be synthetic pesticides that farmers use. Proponents of organics will often show propaganda photos of farmers in hazmat suits spraying their fields with pesticides. The message is obvious: if it is not safe for them, how safe can it be for us? The thing is, if you will look at organic farmers spraying their fields with pesticides - well, surprise, they wear hazmat suits
classed as toxic and a carcinogen, there are no studies on how much of a substance will lead to death or illness in human ...
classed as toxic and a carcinogen, there are no studies on how much of a substance will lead to death or illness in human beings. All researchers can tell you is that a huge amount - often an amount larger than you will ever ingest in your lifetime - will give a rat cancer. In many of these tests, the rats would ingest the chemicals, process them, and excrete them; however, if the rats were directly injected with the chemicals, then they would develop tumors — which is obviously how you would use your shampoo or face cream, right? Scientists also fail to mention that even if the rats do get cancer, that does not necessarily mean a human being would. Rats and people are different, you know. For example, rats do not develop lung cancer from cigarette smoke like humans do. The amount used in the studies matters as well. As the common chemistry mantra goes, the dose makes the poison. Any substance, including water, can be toxic if the amount imbibed is too large for a person to handle. Thus, when health websites discuss toxins in your moisturizer, the chemical may have been proven toxic to a rat, when ingested/injected at a level larger than you would ever ingest in a day. It’s also easy for us to get confused into believing that so-called natural chemicals, with names that are easy to pronounce, are less scary than those that are synthesized in a lab with names "It’s also easy for us to get confused into believing that so-called natural chemicals, with names that are easy to pronounce, are less scary than those that are synthesized in a lab with names that sound foreign to us." that sound foreign to us. That’s exactly the reason bisphenol A (or BPA) a compound found in many plastics, which has been in over 7,000 studies, has been pronounced safe. (“In one recent study, doses of over 40, 400, and 4,000 times the estimated exposure in humans caused no health problems in mice.”) It has, however, still provoked enough public outcry for companies to stop using it and for the FDA to ban it. This is the case, even though BPA can protect us from natural toxins, such as those causing botulism. (BPA is a synthetic compound that prevents foods, such as canned tomatoes from developing toxins.) Did you know that animals, plants, and humans produce a certain amount of the toxins that we wish to ban from all products? If you eat a cup of apple seeds, even if they are grown organically, you will ingest enough cyanide to kill you. Formaldehyde, dioxin, and phytoestrogens are all chemicals classified as carcinogens and endocrine disruptors that are naturally found in humans and plants. ORGANICALLY SPEAKING Let’s talk organics. So expensive, but so worth it, because we should all aim to keep ourselves and our 70 | fyimagazineny.com 71 | fyimagazineny.com families healthy, right? We should, but organics is not necessarily the way to go. No studies have ever proven organic produce to taste better or to be more nutritious than regular produce. As for pesticides, did you know that 99.9% of the pesticides you eat will be the ones the plant itself produces to keep predators at bay? I sure didn’t. Plants develop their own natural pesticides. Just as animals will often use poisons or camouflage to protect themselves from predators, G-d gave plants the means to protect themselves as well. That means that when we ingest pesticides, only a tiny amount of it will be synthetic pesticides that farmers use. Proponents of organics will often show propaganda photos of farmers in hazmat suits spraying their fields with pesticides. The message is obvious: if it is not safe for them, how safe can it be for us? The thing is, if you will look at organic farmers spraying their fields with pesticides - well, surprise, they wear hazmat suits
classed as toxic and a carcinogen, there are no studies on how much of a substance will lead to death or illness in human ...
Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT! “I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better!” as well. Perhaps we should simply abstain from all naturally grown produce? Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO) have also never been proven to be harmful, and yet people still call for laws to ban them, never mind the fact that GMOs have saved the lives of millions of people in third-world countries. If we need one example of what would happen if we paid too much attention to the health industry, we can surely use California. Its Proposition 65, mandating warnings on everything and anything that could possibly ever make anyone ill, passed in 1986, giving way to a slew of lawsuits. For protection, most items, businesses, and even homes in California will sport a sign or warning label saying that "California Law Requires This Warning. This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and other reproductive harm." To say that this is ridiculous is an understatement; the list of so-called dangerous chemicals grows every year. Starbucks had to post the sign because coffee naturally grows acrylamide, which is classified as a carcinogen; people have found warning labels on their matches (combustion creates carcinogens), lamp cords (what could be lurking in them?) and even on apartment buildings where smoking is banned (“just in case someone smokes while passing by and it drifts in” -an actual quote!).   THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT It seems that when it comes to chemicals, we rely on our emotions more than on the facts. That is probably the very reason the word “chemical” itself evokes words, such as “toxic” and “dangerous.” And marketers play into our fears in a big way. Have you seen how many products are advertised as being chemical-free? We fall for it, even though it is simply impossible for it to be factually correct, and not because we are stupid, but through ignorance. “Yoga-mat chemical” sounds awful, but very little of it is used in dough and none of it is in the bread at all, because Azodicarbonamide breaks down in heat. We are told about how Big Pharma colludes with the government so it does not get regulated enough, but did you know the natural industries are almost completely unregulated? Powerful drugs with harmless-sounding names such as fish oil, glucosamine, and Echinacea are sold under the heading of “natural” medicines, and we don’t realize that they may not have been studied scientifically, unlike the over-the-counter or prescribed cold and sterile-looking Western medicine. If cancer is caused by so many of the items we use and eat, it would be the leading cause of death in developed countries, yet the leading causes of death are heart disease and other chronic conditions that are a result of our unhealthy lifestyle. So will I be giving my children yogurt with food coloring in it? No, I will not, but because I think it is unhealthy, not because I am afraid they will get cancer. The chemicals that surround us are not all helpful or all safe, but they are not all harmful either. We would do well to remember that. fyi GET THIS: THAT IS TOTALLY FALSE! IF YOU ARE READY TO: o o o o o End the overeating and dieting cycle NOW Stop distracted eating NOW Make peace with your body and food NOW Trust yourself once again NOW Learn to enjoy food as you connect to the intuitive eater within NOW THEN I CAN HELP YOU FEEL GOOD NOW (AND SO MUCH MORE) The Perfect Gift. Mind OVE� munchie� Intuitive Eating Coach Rena Reiser Presents A FREE TELECONFERENCE CLASS WEDNESDAY, NOV 2ND 1:00 PM EST JOIN US! REGISTER FOR THE FREE CLASS 347-871-1848 www.mindovermunchies.com | rena@mindovermunchies.com "Intuitive Eating gives me clarity in all areas of my life, not just with food."- Sarah M. SUBSCRIBE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com
Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT     I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better      as well. Perhaps we should simply...
Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT! “I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better!” as well. Perhaps we should simply abstain from all naturally grown produce? Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO) have also never been proven to be harmful, and yet people still call for laws to ban them, never mind the fact that GMOs have saved the lives of millions of people in third-world countries. If we need one example of what would happen if we paid too much attention to the health industry, we can surely use California. Its Proposition 65, mandating warnings on everything and anything that could possibly ever make anyone ill, passed in 1986, giving way to a slew of lawsuits. For protection, most items, businesses, and even homes in California will sport a sign or warning label saying that "California Law Requires This Warning. This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and other reproductive harm." To say that this is ridiculous is an understatement; the list of so-called dangerous chemicals grows every year. Starbucks had to post the sign because coffee naturally grows acrylamide, which is classified as a carcinogen; people have found warning labels on their matches (combustion creates carcinogens), lamp cords (what could be lurking in them?) and even on apartment buildings where smoking is banned (“just in case someone smokes while passing by and it drifts in” -an actual quote!).   THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT It seems that when it comes to chemicals, we rely on our emotions more than on the facts. That is probably the very reason the word “chemical” itself evokes words, such as “toxic” and “dangerous.” And marketers play into our fears in a big way. Have you seen how many products are advertised as being chemical-free? We fall for it, even though it is simply impossible for it to be factually correct, and not because we are stupid, but through ignorance. “Yoga-mat chemical” sounds awful, but very little of it is used in dough and none of it is in the bread at all, because Azodicarbonamide breaks down in heat. We are told about how Big Pharma colludes with the government so it does not get regulated enough, but did you know the natural industries are almost completely unregulated? Powerful drugs with harmless-sounding names such as fish oil, glucosamine, and Echinacea are sold under the heading of “natural” medicines, and we don’t realize that they may not have been studied scientifically, unlike the over-the-counter or prescribed cold and sterile-looking Western medicine. If cancer is caused by so many of the items we use and eat, it would be the leading cause of death in developed countries, yet the leading causes of death are heart disease and other chronic conditions that are a result of our unhealthy lifestyle. So will I be giving my children yogurt with food coloring in it? No, I will not, but because I think it is unhealthy, not because I am afraid they will get cancer. The chemicals that surround us are not all helpful or all safe, but they are not all harmful either. We would do well to remember that. fyi GET THIS: THAT IS TOTALLY FALSE! IF YOU ARE READY TO: o o o o o End the overeating and dieting cycle NOW Stop distracted eating NOW Make peace with your body and food NOW Trust yourself once again NOW Learn to enjoy food as you connect to the intuitive eater within NOW THEN I CAN HELP YOU FEEL GOOD NOW (AND SO MUCH MORE) The Perfect Gift. Mind OVE� munchie� Intuitive Eating Coach Rena Reiser Presents A FREE TELECONFERENCE CLASS WEDNESDAY, NOV 2ND 1:00 PM EST JOIN US! REGISTER FOR THE FREE CLASS 347-871-1848 www.mindovermunchies.com | rena@mindovermunchies.com "Intuitive Eating gives me clarity in all areas of my life, not just with food."- Sarah M. SUBSCRIBE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com
Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT     I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better      as well. Perhaps we should simply...
Choosing to LOVE WRITTEN BY MATTIE WISEMAN Like fluttering leaves, the stone walls of the kever echoed with the urgent, hushed prayers of the women around her. Sarah Schiller* quietly found a seat in the corner of the Ezrat Nashim. She clutched her sefer Tehillim close to her stomach, running her fingers down the crumbled leather binding. Around her, she saw faces scrunched in earnest tears. Someone sobbed quietly in a corner. But somehow, though her soul wished to burst into fervent prayer, Sarah felt as though a plastic bubble had been wrapped around her emotions. 74 | fyimagazineny.com 75 | fyimagazineny.com
Choosing to  LOVE WRITTEN BY MATTIE WISEMAN  Like fluttering leaves, the stone walls of the kever echoed with the urgent, ...
Choosing to LOVE WRITTEN BY MATTIE WISEMAN Like fluttering leaves, the stone walls of the kever echoed with the urgent, hushed prayers of the women around her. Sarah Schiller* quietly found a seat in the corner of the Ezrat Nashim. She clutched her sefer Tehillim close to her stomach, running her fingers down the crumbled leather binding. Around her, she saw faces scrunched in earnest tears. Someone sobbed quietly in a corner. But somehow, though her soul wished to burst into fervent prayer, Sarah felt as though a plastic bubble had been wrapped around her emotions. 74 | fyimagazineny.com 75 | fyimagazineny.com
Choosing to  LOVE WRITTEN BY MATTIE WISEMAN  Like fluttering leaves, the stone walls of the kever echoed with the urgent, ...
S he and her husband Ezra had flown all the way to Eretz Yisroel to daven at the kivrei tzaddikim. It hadn’t been easy, and it had definitely not been cheap to come here. They had come all this way. Their yearning was so great, so why couldn’t she daven with the same kavanah as the women around her? Seven years they’d been married, yet it was still just the two of them. The topic of adoption had come up between her husband and herself many times. They had so much love to give, it seemed the right thing to do. All they wanted was to nurture and love a child, natural or chosen. “Hashem,” Sarah whispered, “Please, let me cry, too! Let me be connected and daven to you like these other women!” Finally, at the 7th and final kever she and her husband visited, the wall lifted. Sarah shed a tear and prayed b’lev shalom. “I felt a breakthrough,” she shares, “I felt like Hashem had answered me at that point.” Elana Cohen* and her husband had a different start with adoption altogether. “Both, my husband and I grew up in families who also fostered children,” she relates, “we both always knew we wanted to adopt.” Altogether, they have 11 children ka”h - 8 natural, and 3 placed. The first child they took in was a foster child, whom they would later adopt. Because they had adopted the first child, someone approached them with a second child. By the third child, Mrs. Cohen had become involved in working for an adoption agency. “The only time we ever said ‘no’ to adopting a child was when we had our hands full with babies and couldn’t take another child in at the time.” Although these two women have led such different lives, their journeys started in the same place - a heart full of love. To gain more insight, we spoke with Brany Rosen, the founder/ director of member services of ATIME, an organization that guides couples through fertility options, as well as facilitating adoption. “A big deal nowadays, is that there’s a shift - something I’ve seen from being around for many years. We have gone from convincing people to even consider adoption, to the current issue of, ‘Where are the babies?!” Nowadays, I could have 40 children needing homes at the beginning of the day, and by the end of the day, I’d have found legal, amazing homes for them all. Can you imagine? Medicine can only do so much, and people are so much more open nowadays.” Where do these children come from? Many are the children of single mothers. For any number of reasons, they may be unable to keep their child. Often, they went through their pregnancy expecting that the child’s father would still be around, but upon giving birth, they’re struggling, no longer having the father’s support. ATIME is put in touch with many of their children through sources in college Hillel homes. An expectant mother could be struggling in deciding what to do with an unexpected pregnancy. The Rabbi will ask the mother to keep the baby full-term, to give him/her a 76 | fyimagazineny.com beautiful life and future in a loving home. In the past, some Poskim were hesitant regarding couples adopting a Jewish child, because of all the halachic implications. Of course, everyone must consult with their Rav throughout their adoption journey. Many issues can arise, such as siblings mistakenly marrying, or issues of negi’a and yichud. Because of the increase in adoptions nowadays, more and more Rabbanim are becoming familiar, and learning in-depth in order to pasken the complicated and intricate halachic questions that arise. For example, Rav David Pam recently wrote a comprehensive pamphlet regarding adoption, and R’ Moshe Shternbuch has written teshuvos on the topic. According to Elana, who now works for an agency that places special children into homes, the amount of children available for adoption has steadily decreased with Special Needs children. “As education improves for Special Needs children,” she explains, “parents feel more enabled to keep their children. In the past, your options were limited when you had a special child, and parents could feel overwhelmed, some eventually choosing to give their child up. Nowadays, there are more options for these parents.” Adoption is a rewarding and wonderful experience. But the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. Sara’s journey was a rocky one, with plenty of ups and downs. “When we came back from EY, Adoption is a rewarding and wonderful experience. But the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. 77 | fyimagazineny.com
S  he and her husband Ezra had flown all the way to Eretz Yisroel to daven at the kivrei tzaddikim. It hadn   t been easy,...
S he and her husband Ezra had flown all the way to Eretz Yisroel to daven at the kivrei tzaddikim. It hadn’t been easy, and it had definitely not been cheap to come here. They had come all this way. Their yearning was so great, so why couldn’t she daven with the same kavanah as the women around her? Seven years they’d been married, yet it was still just the two of them. The topic of adoption had come up between her husband and herself many times. They had so much love to give, it seemed the right thing to do. All they wanted was to nurture and love a child, natural or chosen. “Hashem,” Sarah whispered, “Please, let me cry, too! Let me be connected and daven to you like these other women!” Finally, at the 7th and final kever she and her husband visited, the wall lifted. Sarah shed a tear and prayed b’lev shalom. “I felt a breakthrough,” she shares, “I felt like Hashem had answered me at that point.” Elana Cohen* and her husband had a different start with adoption altogether. “Both, my husband and I grew up in families who also fostered children,” she relates, “we both always knew we wanted to adopt.” Altogether, they have 11 children ka”h - 8 natural, and 3 placed. The first child they took in was a foster child, whom they would later adopt. Because they had adopted the first child, someone approached them with a second child. By the third child, Mrs. Cohen had become involved in working for an adoption agency. “The only time we ever said ‘no’ to adopting a child was when we had our hands full with babies and couldn’t take another child in at the time.” Although these two women have led such different lives, their journeys started in the same place - a heart full of love. To gain more insight, we spoke with Brany Rosen, the founder/ director of member services of ATIME, an organization that guides couples through fertility options, as well as facilitating adoption. “A big deal nowadays, is that there’s a shift - something I’ve seen from being around for many years. We have gone from convincing people to even consider adoption, to the current issue of, ‘Where are the babies?!” Nowadays, I could have 40 children needing homes at the beginning of the day, and by the end of the day, I’d have found legal, amazing homes for them all. Can you imagine? Medicine can only do so much, and people are so much more open nowadays.” Where do these children come from? Many are the children of single mothers. For any number of reasons, they may be unable to keep their child. Often, they went through their pregnancy expecting that the child’s father would still be around, but upon giving birth, they’re struggling, no longer having the father’s support. ATIME is put in touch with many of their children through sources in college Hillel homes. An expectant mother could be struggling in deciding what to do with an unexpected pregnancy. The Rabbi will ask the mother to keep the baby full-term, to give him/her a 76 | fyimagazineny.com beautiful life and future in a loving home. In the past, some Poskim were hesitant regarding couples adopting a Jewish child, because of all the halachic implications. Of course, everyone must consult with their Rav throughout their adoption journey. Many issues can arise, such as siblings mistakenly marrying, or issues of negi’a and yichud. Because of the increase in adoptions nowadays, more and more Rabbanim are becoming familiar, and learning in-depth in order to pasken the complicated and intricate halachic questions that arise. For example, Rav David Pam recently wrote a comprehensive pamphlet regarding adoption, and R’ Moshe Shternbuch has written teshuvos on the topic. According to Elana, who now works for an agency that places special children into homes, the amount of children available for adoption has steadily decreased with Special Needs children. “As education improves for Special Needs children,” she explains, “parents feel more enabled to keep their children. In the past, your options were limited when you had a special child, and parents could feel overwhelmed, some eventually choosing to give their child up. Nowadays, there are more options for these parents.” Adoption is a rewarding and wonderful experience. But the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. Sara’s journey was a rocky one, with plenty of ups and downs. “When we came back from EY, Adoption is a rewarding and wonderful experience. But the challenges faced are not just the practical and legal. The emotional journey can be fraught as well. 77 | fyimagazineny.com
S  he and her husband Ezra had flown all the way to Eretz Yisroel to daven at the kivrei tzaddikim. It hadn   t been easy,...
we didn’t do anything right away. Time passed, but when we were married nine years, we filled out all the paperwork and said we would accept anything Hashem gave to us. This was in 1991. We first tried to work with a lawyer who ended up being a scam. He said he would get us a baby from Romania, but almost made off with our money. Of course, there was no baby. Next, we signed up with a Jewish Agency, and they approved us. We began getting phone calls, and we said yes to anything they offered us. We totally trusted Hashem to give us who we were supposed to get. In the end, we received two Special Needs children. Five years later, I gave birth to healthy twins. I remember after we had the special children for two years, it was getting super hard and I wasn’t sure I could handle it anymore. It was Sukkos, and I had just put the children to sleep. I came to the door of the sukkah and began crying. I told my husband, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” And he started to cry, too. We were both crying, and he said to me, “Hashem gives us a new day every day. The sun shines every day. Let’s just give this one more day.” And of course, we continued. If I could share one thing, it is that adoption can be very hard, but it can also be very fulfilling. So when it gets too hard, and you think you can’t handle it anymore, just try one more day.” Elana has had her fair share of bumpy roads as well. “My husband and I always knew we wanted to adopt a child with Down syndrome. Our second adopted child does have Downs. But before him, we had taken in another child with Down syndrome that we decided not to keep. We had found out after we had taken him that he had many other things wrong with him. There were a lot more medical problems than we had been told. It was very hard, but we had to send that child back. So before we took in our son, we had sat all the children down and had a talk with them. We told them he needs a home, we took them along to meet him, and they were all very forthcoming and wanted to take him in very badly. We would not have done it without their approval. Without a question, he has become their sibling 100%. They pick on him and love him the same as the others! It’s important when adopting to make sure your family is with you, that everyone is on board with it. Not just your children, but your own siblings and your parents. You want the grandparents to accept the child, too!” “When struggling with infertility,” says Brany Rosen, “the beauty is, that even if all doors are closed medically, a woman can still be a mommy by adopting! You don’t have to live without children. “A fear people have is that they won’t be connected to their baby. But not at all. We haven’t seen that ever.” fyi *Name has been changed. 78 | fyimagazineny.com ATIME MENORAH ADOPTION PROJECT SHAINDEL MARKOWITZ “I strive to help others on their journey of adoption, and I want to empower them to make the correct decisions along the way. At ATIME we are here to help any family that comes our way. Throughout a couple's journey, they can call anytime to seek advice, chizuk, or if they just need a listening ear to vent their emotions. If/when babies come our way that need homes, we will do everything in our power to find a good home for that child.” SHAINDEL MARKOWITZ Adoption Consultant 718-686-8912 x116 adoption@atime.org
we didn   t do anything right away. Time passed, but when we were married nine years, we filled out all the paperwork and ...
we didn’t do anything right away. Time passed, but when we were married nine years, we filled out all the paperwork and said we would accept anything Hashem gave to us. This was in 1991. We first tried to work with a lawyer who ended up being a scam. He said he would get us a baby from Romania, but almost made off with our money. Of course, there was no baby. Next, we signed up with a Jewish Agency, and they approved us. We began getting phone calls, and we said yes to anything they offered us. We totally trusted Hashem to give us who we were supposed to get. In the end, we received two Special Needs children. Five years later, I gave birth to healthy twins. I remember after we had the special children for two years, it was getting super hard and I wasn’t sure I could handle it anymore. It was Sukkos, and I had just put the children to sleep. I came to the door of the sukkah and began crying. I told my husband, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” And he started to cry, too. We were both crying, and he said to me, “Hashem gives us a new day every day. The sun shines every day. Let’s just give this one more day.” And of course, we continued. If I could share one thing, it is that adoption can be very hard, but it can also be very fulfilling. So when it gets too hard, and you think you can’t handle it anymore, just try one more day.” Elana has had her fair share of bumpy roads as well. “My husband and I always knew we wanted to adopt a child with Down syndrome. Our second adopted child does have Downs. But before him, we had taken in another child with Down syndrome that we decided not to keep. We had found out after we had taken him that he had many other things wrong with him. There were a lot more medical problems than we had been told. It was very hard, but we had to send that child back. So before we took in our son, we had sat all the children down and had a talk with them. We told them he needs a home, we took them along to meet him, and they were all very forthcoming and wanted to take him in very badly. We would not have done it without their approval. Without a question, he has become their sibling 100%. They pick on him and love him the same as the others! It’s important when adopting to make sure your family is with you, that everyone is on board with it. Not just your children, but your own siblings and your parents. You want the grandparents to accept the child, too!” “When struggling with infertility,” says Brany Rosen, “the beauty is, that even if all doors are closed medically, a woman can still be a mommy by adopting! You don’t have to live without children. “A fear people have is that they won’t be connected to their baby. But not at all. We haven’t seen that ever.” fyi *Name has been changed. 78 | fyimagazineny.com ATIME MENORAH ADOPTION PROJECT SHAINDEL MARKOWITZ “I strive to help others on their journey of adoption, and I want to empower them to make the correct decisions along the way. At ATIME we are here to help any family that comes our way. Throughout a couple's journey, they can call anytime to seek advice, chizuk, or if they just need a listening ear to vent their emotions. If/when babies come our way that need homes, we will do everything in our power to find a good home for that child.” SHAINDEL MARKOWITZ Adoption Consultant 718-686-8912 x116 adoption@atime.org
we didn   t do anything right away. Time passed, but when we were married nine years, we filled out all the paperwork and ...
The Hostess with the Mostest: BEING HER, & BEING HOSTED BY HER It was Erev Sukkos, and when the phone rang, I figured it was probably someone calling to wish me a good Yom Tov. It wasn’t. Though her voice was masked by thick tears and intermittent sobs, I was soon able to piece the story together B WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER 80 | fyimagazineny.com 81 | fyimagazineny.com
The Hostess with the Mostest  BEING HER,   BEING HOSTED BY HER It was Erev Sukkos, and when the phone rang, I figured it w...
The Hostess with the Mostest: BEING HER, & BEING HOSTED BY HER It was Erev Sukkos, and when the phone rang, I figured it was probably someone calling to wish me a good Yom Tov. It wasn’t. Though her voice was masked by thick tears and intermittent sobs, I was soon able to piece the story together B WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER 80 | fyimagazineny.com 81 | fyimagazineny.com
The Hostess with the Mostest  BEING HER,   BEING HOSTED BY HER It was Erev Sukkos, and when the phone rang, I figured it w...
Chaya*, my dear friend and an older single, had made plans to spend the entire Sukkos with cousins in the area. At the last minute – literally on Erev Yom Tov – they cancelled, saying that in the end, they had decided to go away to their parents’. Chaya was in complete shock. Why hadn’t they warned her that this was a possibility or given any indication that Yom Tov might not happen? What was she supposed to do now? Rivka sighed as she hung up the phone. She was excited to be hosting most of her married kids, but somehow when Shloimy came, it was always hard. He would be asking her to watch the kids, mooching leftovers to take home, and indulging in some “shopping” in her pantry as soon as Yom Tov went out. Shloimy’s wife would be lounging on the couch with a book while she slaved away in the kitchen… Rivka shook her head, trying not to go down this road of negativity, but it was so hard. Everything was nearly ready, and it was a complete miracle, if you asked Devoiry. She hummed to herself as she bustled around doing a few last-minute things. Soon, her cousin Hudis would be there with her family, and they would be spending a cozy, wonderful Yom Tov together. Perhaps, she mused, it was due to all this excitement that she had gotten so much done with the preparations. B Tips for the Host: INVITE YOUR GUESTS; DON’T WAIT FOR THEM TO ASK. People feel good when they’re remembered and wanted. Miri, an older single living in the Brooklyn area, says that she always appreciates when people invite her for some specific meal comes Yom Tov or Shabbos, rather than a vague, “You’re always welcome,” or “You should really come sometime.” Judy, a seasoned kiruv hostess, adds that when you do the inviting, you have a little more control over which meals will be shared with guests and which will be reserved for family only. Mali wondered why she always loved the idea of hosting her parents, but always found herself so stressed about actually doing it. But she knew she really didn’t have to wonder. Her mother was a very exacting individual, with extremely high standards in every area and a very critical nature. Her father required lots of kavod. They had a low toleration of noise and mess. All Mali wanted to do was make them happy, but that was a tall order. It wasn’t going to be an easy Yom Tov. SAY IT WITH GRACE. Many people invite guests around the chagim, but guests often call and invite themselves. Whether the guests you’re hosting are relatives, neighbors, singles, baalei teshuvah, lonely older people, or even your own children, there’s an art to saying yes or no with grace. People can “hear” a smile right through the phone lines, Miri notes. “And if you’re hosting them anyway, why not make them feel even more welcome by injecting some enthusiasm into your voice and saying how much you’re looking forward to it? I know that makes a big difference to me.” Etty Schapira, a social worker, says that “no” doesn’t have to mean “rejection.” “You can thank the person so much for calling and encourage him to call again; you can immediately arrange an invitation for a different seudah; or you could even offer to help make arrangements for him elsewhere,” she suggests. “All these ideas soften the blow.” There are few topics that can arouse such vastly disparate emotions among women across the Jewish spectrum, and spanning generations as that of hosting and being hosted. Be they mothers hosting their own children, children hosting their parents, or people hosting friends, neighbors, singles and so on, there are so many opinions – and so many stories. How can we make the most of these experiences? Here are some tips and tricks to give your “story” – and Yom Tov hosting or guesting – a happy ending. 82 | fyimagazineny.com 83 | fyimagazineny.com
Chaya , my dear friend and an older single, had made plans to spend the entire Sukkos with cousins in the area. At the las...
Chaya*, my dear friend and an older single, had made plans to spend the entire Sukkos with cousins in the area. At the last minute – literally on Erev Yom Tov – they cancelled, saying that in the end, they had decided to go away to their parents’. Chaya was in complete shock. Why hadn’t they warned her that this was a possibility or given any indication that Yom Tov might not happen? What was she supposed to do now? Rivka sighed as she hung up the phone. She was excited to be hosting most of her married kids, but somehow when Shloimy came, it was always hard. He would be asking her to watch the kids, mooching leftovers to take home, and indulging in some “shopping” in her pantry as soon as Yom Tov went out. Shloimy’s wife would be lounging on the couch with a book while she slaved away in the kitchen… Rivka shook her head, trying not to go down this road of negativity, but it was so hard. Everything was nearly ready, and it was a complete miracle, if you asked Devoiry. She hummed to herself as she bustled around doing a few last-minute things. Soon, her cousin Hudis would be there with her family, and they would be spending a cozy, wonderful Yom Tov together. Perhaps, she mused, it was due to all this excitement that she had gotten so much done with the preparations. B Tips for the Host: INVITE YOUR GUESTS; DON’T WAIT FOR THEM TO ASK. People feel good when they’re remembered and wanted. Miri, an older single living in the Brooklyn area, says that she always appreciates when people invite her for some specific meal comes Yom Tov or Shabbos, rather than a vague, “You’re always welcome,” or “You should really come sometime.” Judy, a seasoned kiruv hostess, adds that when you do the inviting, you have a little more control over which meals will be shared with guests and which will be reserved for family only. Mali wondered why she always loved the idea of hosting her parents, but always found herself so stressed about actually doing it. But she knew she really didn’t have to wonder. Her mother was a very exacting individual, with extremely high standards in every area and a very critical nature. Her father required lots of kavod. They had a low toleration of noise and mess. All Mali wanted to do was make them happy, but that was a tall order. It wasn’t going to be an easy Yom Tov. SAY IT WITH GRACE. Many people invite guests around the chagim, but guests often call and invite themselves. Whether the guests you’re hosting are relatives, neighbors, singles, baalei teshuvah, lonely older people, or even your own children, there’s an art to saying yes or no with grace. People can “hear” a smile right through the phone lines, Miri notes. “And if you’re hosting them anyway, why not make them feel even more welcome by injecting some enthusiasm into your voice and saying how much you’re looking forward to it? I know that makes a big difference to me.” Etty Schapira, a social worker, says that “no” doesn’t have to mean “rejection.” “You can thank the person so much for calling and encourage him to call again; you can immediately arrange an invitation for a different seudah; or you could even offer to help make arrangements for him elsewhere,” she suggests. “All these ideas soften the blow.” There are few topics that can arouse such vastly disparate emotions among women across the Jewish spectrum, and spanning generations as that of hosting and being hosted. Be they mothers hosting their own children, children hosting their parents, or people hosting friends, neighbors, singles and so on, there are so many opinions – and so many stories. How can we make the most of these experiences? Here are some tips and tricks to give your “story” – and Yom Tov hosting or guesting – a happy ending. 82 | fyimagazineny.com 83 | fyimagazineny.com
Chaya , my dear friend and an older single, had made plans to spend the entire Sukkos with cousins in the area. At the las...
DON’T DO IT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO. No one wants to be a guest when they’re unwanted. If you’re too busy, too wrung out, or hosting too many other people, don’t feel pressured to invite more people out of a sense of obligation, or say yes just because they asked. “People don’t want to be a burden,” Etty Schapira says. She’s learned a lot about boundaries through her profession. “Saying no is much better than saying yes under duress. It’s more comfortable for everyone if you’re able to say no when you really can’t do it.” She suggests offering an explanation to smooth over any potential feelings of rejection. “Things have just been too crazy around here, but I hope to start having guests again soon.” Or, “We’re having boys/girls this week, so it won’t work out this time around.” Or, “We really need to focus on our kids right now, so we haven’t been able to host lately.” MAKE IT COMFY. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to make people feel comfortable in your home, and there are so many ways to do it. Think: a personalized welcome sign the kids draw for the door; a basket of toiletries and fresh towels in the guest room; a slice of cake or kugel when they walk in; a mini-tour of the fridge, pantry, bookshelves and bathroom; or even accepting their offer to help by giving them a task to do. For guests you B Tips for the Guests: OFFER TO BRING SOMETHING. Many hostesses can manage beautifully without their guests bringing anything, but most of them still truly appreciate it when you do. “I always love knowing when someone is bringing a salad,” says Michelle, from Staten Island. “It’s one thing off my head!” Ariella, a Passaic hostess, enjoys the thought behind hostess gifts. “It’s so nice to receive a bouquet or a box of cookies from the bakery – some treat I wouldn’t buy myself. Whatever it is, I really appreciate it.” She adds an important caveat, however: “If you’re bringing something like a kugel, cake or salad, I’d prefer to know about it in advance – so I don’t waste time making my own!” Tzippy M., a mother of young children, always appreciates when guests bring something for her kids. “It makes them feel like they’re an important part of the equation – which they certainly are! When guests bring my kids a treat, a toy, or a book, it endears them to my kids, who in turn ask for that guest to come again.” know pretty well (especially your married children), Rivka suggests making their favorite dish, buying their favorite drink, or pulling out a dessert or treat you know they love. “It makes them feel so good to be remembered like that,” she says. “And the easiest thing you can do? Smile!” CONVERSE. It sounds so obvious, right? But involving guests in conversation doesn’t always happen naturally. Devory G., now married and living in the Monsey area, recalls some seminary experiences where her hosts barely spoke to her at the table. “After a question or two, I felt like I wasn’t there anymore! I always try to remember that and make sure to involve my guests in conversation – whether the guest is my own sister, my brother and his friends, a neighbor, singles, or whoever.” Other points that came up include not pressuring male guests and relatives to say a dvar Torah or sing zemiros and not asking baalei teshuvah to share their “stories.” One young man recalls, “One time I was at a table full of people and the host turned to me and said, ‘You’re in yeshivah, why don’t you share a dvar Torah with us?’ It was true. I was in yeshivah, but that didn’t mean I had a dvar Torah prepared to share with a bunch of people! But he kept pressuring. ‘I know you’re just being modest. Come on, I’m sure you must have something to say!’ I really didn’t and he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.” 84 | fyimagazineny.com 85 | fyimagazineny.com
DON   T DO IT IF YOU DON   T WANT TO. No one wants to be a guest when they   re unwanted. If you   re too busy, too wrung ...
DON’T DO IT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO. No one wants to be a guest when they’re unwanted. If you’re too busy, too wrung out, or hosting too many other people, don’t feel pressured to invite more people out of a sense of obligation, or say yes just because they asked. “People don’t want to be a burden,” Etty Schapira says. She’s learned a lot about boundaries through her profession. “Saying no is much better than saying yes under duress. It’s more comfortable for everyone if you’re able to say no when you really can’t do it.” She suggests offering an explanation to smooth over any potential feelings of rejection. “Things have just been too crazy around here, but I hope to start having guests again soon.” Or, “We’re having boys/girls this week, so it won’t work out this time around.” Or, “We really need to focus on our kids right now, so we haven’t been able to host lately.” MAKE IT COMFY. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to make people feel comfortable in your home, and there are so many ways to do it. Think: a personalized welcome sign the kids draw for the door; a basket of toiletries and fresh towels in the guest room; a slice of cake or kugel when they walk in; a mini-tour of the fridge, pantry, bookshelves and bathroom; or even accepting their offer to help by giving them a task to do. For guests you B Tips for the Guests: OFFER TO BRING SOMETHING. Many hostesses can manage beautifully without their guests bringing anything, but most of them still truly appreciate it when you do. “I always love knowing when someone is bringing a salad,” says Michelle, from Staten Island. “It’s one thing off my head!” Ariella, a Passaic hostess, enjoys the thought behind hostess gifts. “It’s so nice to receive a bouquet or a box of cookies from the bakery – some treat I wouldn’t buy myself. Whatever it is, I really appreciate it.” She adds an important caveat, however: “If you’re bringing something like a kugel, cake or salad, I’d prefer to know about it in advance – so I don’t waste time making my own!” Tzippy M., a mother of young children, always appreciates when guests bring something for her kids. “It makes them feel like they’re an important part of the equation – which they certainly are! When guests bring my kids a treat, a toy, or a book, it endears them to my kids, who in turn ask for that guest to come again.” know pretty well (especially your married children), Rivka suggests making their favorite dish, buying their favorite drink, or pulling out a dessert or treat you know they love. “It makes them feel so good to be remembered like that,” she says. “And the easiest thing you can do? Smile!” CONVERSE. It sounds so obvious, right? But involving guests in conversation doesn’t always happen naturally. Devory G., now married and living in the Monsey area, recalls some seminary experiences where her hosts barely spoke to her at the table. “After a question or two, I felt like I wasn’t there anymore! I always try to remember that and make sure to involve my guests in conversation – whether the guest is my own sister, my brother and his friends, a neighbor, singles, or whoever.” Other points that came up include not pressuring male guests and relatives to say a dvar Torah or sing zemiros and not asking baalei teshuvah to share their “stories.” One young man recalls, “One time I was at a table full of people and the host turned to me and said, ‘You’re in yeshivah, why don’t you share a dvar Torah with us?’ It was true. I was in yeshivah, but that didn’t mean I had a dvar Torah prepared to share with a bunch of people! But he kept pressuring. ‘I know you’re just being modest. Come on, I’m sure you must have something to say!’ I really didn’t and he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.” 84 | fyimagazineny.com 85 | fyimagazineny.com
DON   T DO IT IF YOU DON   T WANT TO. No one wants to be a guest when they   re unwanted. If you   re too busy, too wrung ...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes | All Things Kitchen DON’T BE LATE. Devory G. remembers a meal to where they invited a new family in town. “We were waiting and waiting, and when they finally came - 45 minutes late - they said, ‘Oh, we thought you would have started without us!’ I couldn’t believe that they thought we would have started without them! I wish one of them would have come over to let me know they just weren’t going to make it on time.” CONVERSE. “Your host has invited you and wants to enjoy your company at the seudah, or over an entire Shabbos or Yom Tov,” Etty Schapira says. “So make conversation, ask questions, share stories. They want to hear from you! After all, dialogue connects people and grows your relationships. By asking questions and being a good listener – and sharing some of your own thoughts – you’re showing that you care about the people you’re with.” BE GENEROUS WITH PRAISE. Judy, the seasoned kiruv hostess mentioned above, notes that although she is not hosting people for anyone’s thanks, compliments or praise, their kind words give her a lot of fuel to continue. When she remembers how much they enjoyed or appreciated a meal, she’s inspired to do it again. B Tips for Both the Hostess and the Guests: In Etty Schapira’s experience working with families, she has seen how much it means to parents – even those who have good, strong relationships with their kids – to hear how wonderful the Yom Tov was, how beautiful the seudos were, how tasty the food was, and so on. “Praise makes everyone feel good, even if they don’t ‘need’ it. It’s human nature to appreciate kind words, and compliments make people glad they stretched themselves and did something.” She laughs. “And kids who are hosting their parents certainly feel the same way!” HELP! “Sometimes when my married kids visit, I feel like they’re just coming here to be waited on and served,” says Rivka, a mother of eight married children. “I’m not a babysitter, I’m not a waitress, I’m not a hotel. I love to see you, I love to see your kids. But please remember that I’m only one woman, and I’m not as young as I used to be.” She adds that it makes it so much easier when her kids watch their own children and help with the cooking or cleaning. She chuckles. “And it also helps when everyone clears out after Yom Tov, so I can get back to normal!” BE CLEAR Make a firm plan for which meal, which time, and so on. Judy, our kiruv hostess, recalls learning this the hard way. “We had invited guests for a particular Shabbos. Somehow we thought they were coming for lunch and they thought they were coming Friday night. Oops!” YOM TOV COOKING DISCUSS DIETARY REQUIREMENTS. While etiquette may not require a hostess to accommodate a guest’s optional diet or food preferences, hosts do want to know if guests are allergic to something. People don’t want to waste time cooking something their guests won’t be able to eat. Hindy laughingly remembers a time when a neighbor invited them for a Chol Hamoed meal and asked whether there was anything they didn’t eat. Hindy knew her husband despised eggplant dishes, but she didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Guess what the main ingredient was in a number of dishes that day? Eggplant -- to the nth degree! *Some names and details have been changed. fyi PHOTOGRAPHER: SHEVY GROSS FOOD STYLIST: RAIZY FRIED 86 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes   All Things Kitchen  DON   T BE LATE. Devory G. remembers a meal to where they invited a ne...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes | All Things Kitchen DON’T BE LATE. Devory G. remembers a meal to where they invited a new family in town. “We were waiting and waiting, and when they finally came - 45 minutes late - they said, ‘Oh, we thought you would have started without us!’ I couldn’t believe that they thought we would have started without them! I wish one of them would have come over to let me know they just weren’t going to make it on time.” CONVERSE. “Your host has invited you and wants to enjoy your company at the seudah, or over an entire Shabbos or Yom Tov,” Etty Schapira says. “So make conversation, ask questions, share stories. They want to hear from you! After all, dialogue connects people and grows your relationships. By asking questions and being a good listener – and sharing some of your own thoughts – you’re showing that you care about the people you’re with.” BE GENEROUS WITH PRAISE. Judy, the seasoned kiruv hostess mentioned above, notes that although she is not hosting people for anyone’s thanks, compliments or praise, their kind words give her a lot of fuel to continue. When she remembers how much they enjoyed or appreciated a meal, she’s inspired to do it again. B Tips for Both the Hostess and the Guests: In Etty Schapira’s experience working with families, she has seen how much it means to parents – even those who have good, strong relationships with their kids – to hear how wonderful the Yom Tov was, how beautiful the seudos were, how tasty the food was, and so on. “Praise makes everyone feel good, even if they don’t ‘need’ it. It’s human nature to appreciate kind words, and compliments make people glad they stretched themselves and did something.” She laughs. “And kids who are hosting their parents certainly feel the same way!” HELP! “Sometimes when my married kids visit, I feel like they’re just coming here to be waited on and served,” says Rivka, a mother of eight married children. “I’m not a babysitter, I’m not a waitress, I’m not a hotel. I love to see you, I love to see your kids. But please remember that I’m only one woman, and I’m not as young as I used to be.” She adds that it makes it so much easier when her kids watch their own children and help with the cooking or cleaning. She chuckles. “And it also helps when everyone clears out after Yom Tov, so I can get back to normal!” BE CLEAR Make a firm plan for which meal, which time, and so on. Judy, our kiruv hostess, recalls learning this the hard way. “We had invited guests for a particular Shabbos. Somehow we thought they were coming for lunch and they thought they were coming Friday night. Oops!” YOM TOV COOKING DISCUSS DIETARY REQUIREMENTS. While etiquette may not require a hostess to accommodate a guest’s optional diet or food preferences, hosts do want to know if guests are allergic to something. People don’t want to waste time cooking something their guests won’t be able to eat. Hindy laughingly remembers a time when a neighbor invited them for a Chol Hamoed meal and asked whether there was anything they didn’t eat. Hindy knew her husband despised eggplant dishes, but she didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Guess what the main ingredient was in a number of dishes that day? Eggplant -- to the nth degree! *Some names and details have been changed. fyi PHOTOGRAPHER: SHEVY GROSS FOOD STYLIST: RAIZY FRIED 86 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes   All Things Kitchen  DON   T BE LATE. Devory G. remembers a meal to where they invited a ne...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Pistachio Pesto Salmon NAOMI NACHMAN | THE AUSSIE GOURMET I have a similar version of this recipe on my website, and people have always told me how much they loved it. I came up with a new twist for the base sauce by using pesto sauce; it takes the flavor to a whole new level. 2 tablespoons pesto sauce (your favorite brand) 2 tablespoons mayonnaise 1 cup shelled salted pistachios, crushed ½ cup brown sugar 2 tablespoons fresh lemon 2 pounds salmon fillet (one whole side of a salmon) MIX the pesto and mayonnaise together in a small bowl. PLACE the salmon on a large baking sheet lined with parchment paper. SPREAD the pesto mixture over the fish and set aside. IN A FOOD PROCESSOR, crush the nuts until they are coarse ground, but not too fine, then add the lemon and brown sugar (the mixture should look like wet sand). PAT nut mixture on top of salmon and bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. Please note: Some have the minhag not to eat nuts from Rosh Hashana until Shemini Atzeres. 88 | fyimagazineny.com 89 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Pistachio Pesto Salmon NAOMI NACHMAN   THE AUSSIE GOURMET  I have a similar ...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Pistachio Pesto Salmon NAOMI NACHMAN | THE AUSSIE GOURMET I have a similar version of this recipe on my website, and people have always told me how much they loved it. I came up with a new twist for the base sauce by using pesto sauce; it takes the flavor to a whole new level. 2 tablespoons pesto sauce (your favorite brand) 2 tablespoons mayonnaise 1 cup shelled salted pistachios, crushed ½ cup brown sugar 2 tablespoons fresh lemon 2 pounds salmon fillet (one whole side of a salmon) MIX the pesto and mayonnaise together in a small bowl. PLACE the salmon on a large baking sheet lined with parchment paper. SPREAD the pesto mixture over the fish and set aside. IN A FOOD PROCESSOR, crush the nuts until they are coarse ground, but not too fine, then add the lemon and brown sugar (the mixture should look like wet sand). PAT nut mixture on top of salmon and bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. Please note: Some have the minhag not to eat nuts from Rosh Hashana until Shemini Atzeres. 88 | fyimagazineny.com 89 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Pistachio Pesto Salmon NAOMI NACHMAN   THE AUSSIE GOURMET  I have a similar ...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Roasted Turkey With Asian Plum Sauce SARA CHANA GRUSKIN | SHE COOKS THAT Roasted Turkey and Asian Plum Sauce are a match made on Earth. Aside from looking charming together, they work in sync. The low but subtle flavor of roasted turkey paired with the high, fun, and flavorful taste of the plum sauce makes a complete match. For the Turkey: 10-18 lb Whole turkey Kosher salt Freshly cracked pepper Oil (with a high smoke point), for basting It's Yom Tov season, and that means we're cooking in large quantities. Whether you're cooking double to kill two birds with one stone to have for both, Rosh Hashana and Sukkos, or having lots of guests to feed at once, here is a quick reference guide. For a whole turkey: 10 - 18 pounds  |  Cook 3 - 3-1/2 hours  |  Feeds 8 people 18-22 lb  |  Cook 3 1/2 - 4 hours  |  Feeds 10-15 people These times are based on a preheated 350 degree F oven. 90 | fyimagazineny.com For the Asian Plum Sauce: 1 1/4 pounds plums, pitted 1/2 cup lightly packed brown sugar 1/4 granulated sugar, optional 1/4 cup cider vinegar 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 1/4 small onion, finely chopped (about 2 tbsp) 1/2 tablespoon finely chopped green pepper (such as jalapeño or serrano, or a milder poblano if you don't like the heat) 1/2 tablespoon whole yellow mustard seeds 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1 small garlic clove, minced 1  teaspoon finely chopped fresh ginger Roasting The Turkey: THE general rule for cooking a turkey is 20 minutes per pound. Using a meat thermometer is the best way to know if your turkey is cooked. Insert it properly, and check often. Cooking times will differ depending on whether you're working with a fresh or frozen bird. PLAN on 20 minutes per pound in a 350 degree F oven for a defrosted turkey, and 10 to 15 minutes per pound for a fresh bird. BEFORE ROASTING, coat the outside of the turkey with vegetable or olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Place turkey in a roasting pan. Place the turkey breast skin side up. Cook the turkey until the skin is a light golden color, and then cover loosely with a foil tent. COOK the bird for a total of 3 - 3 1/2 hours. During the last 45 minutes of baking, remove the foil tent, and set aside, allowing the skin to brown. BASTE often with rendered juices to promote even browning, and prevent the bird from drying out. The recommended method for testing your bird to see if it's ready would be to use a meat thermometer; it will always give you accurate results (if it’s calibrated). The turkey is done when the thigh meat reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees F. TO GET an accurate reading, stick a meat thermometer into the thickest part of the thigh; the turkey is cooked when the internal temperature reads 165 (be sure that your thermometer is not touching the bone). Okay, so you don't own a meat thermometer - now what?! PIERCE the thigh with a sharp knife. Meat juices will run out of the skin. The turkey is cooked when juices run clear. RE-TENT the bird with the foil and let rest for about 25 minutes before carving. This allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat, and makes for easier carving. CARVE turkey right before serving. Asian Plum Sauce: PLACE pitted plums in the bowl of a food processor; pulse briefly until coarsely chopped (do not purée). You can also chop the plums by hand if you prefer 91 | fyimagazineny.com a coarser texture. You should end up with about 2 1/2 cups of chopped plums. IN A LARGE non-reactive (stainless steel) saucepan, combine brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, apple cider vinegar, onion, pepper, mustard seeds, salt, garlic, and ginger. BRING to a boil over high heat, stirring constantly ADD chopped plums and return to a boil. REDUCE heat to medium and boil gently, stirring occasionally to prevent scorching, until sauce is thick and syrupy for about 3/4 of an hour. ADJUST seasoning. I personally like the sauce a bit more tangy, but if you prefer it a bit sweeter, feel free to add more sugar accordingly. Don't be afraid to play. LADLE hot jam over turkey slices and serve. Garnish with a sprinkling of fresh parsley. **To make jam ahead of time, store in a Mason jar, reheat just before serving, or serve at room temperature. ***Feel free to swap a whole chicken for a whole turkey bird; just adjust cooking times accordingly.
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Roasted Turkey With Asian Plum Sauce SARA CHANA GRUSKIN   SHE COOKS THAT  Ro...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Roasted Turkey With Asian Plum Sauce SARA CHANA GRUSKIN | SHE COOKS THAT Roasted Turkey and Asian Plum Sauce are a match made on Earth. Aside from looking charming together, they work in sync. The low but subtle flavor of roasted turkey paired with the high, fun, and flavorful taste of the plum sauce makes a complete match. For the Turkey: 10-18 lb Whole turkey Kosher salt Freshly cracked pepper Oil (with a high smoke point), for basting It's Yom Tov season, and that means we're cooking in large quantities. Whether you're cooking double to kill two birds with one stone to have for both, Rosh Hashana and Sukkos, or having lots of guests to feed at once, here is a quick reference guide. For a whole turkey: 10 - 18 pounds  |  Cook 3 - 3-1/2 hours  |  Feeds 8 people 18-22 lb  |  Cook 3 1/2 - 4 hours  |  Feeds 10-15 people These times are based on a preheated 350 degree F oven. 90 | fyimagazineny.com For the Asian Plum Sauce: 1 1/4 pounds plums, pitted 1/2 cup lightly packed brown sugar 1/4 granulated sugar, optional 1/4 cup cider vinegar 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 1/4 small onion, finely chopped (about 2 tbsp) 1/2 tablespoon finely chopped green pepper (such as jalapeño or serrano, or a milder poblano if you don't like the heat) 1/2 tablespoon whole yellow mustard seeds 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1 small garlic clove, minced 1  teaspoon finely chopped fresh ginger Roasting The Turkey: THE general rule for cooking a turkey is 20 minutes per pound. Using a meat thermometer is the best way to know if your turkey is cooked. Insert it properly, and check often. Cooking times will differ depending on whether you're working with a fresh or frozen bird. PLAN on 20 minutes per pound in a 350 degree F oven for a defrosted turkey, and 10 to 15 minutes per pound for a fresh bird. BEFORE ROASTING, coat the outside of the turkey with vegetable or olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Place turkey in a roasting pan. Place the turkey breast skin side up. Cook the turkey until the skin is a light golden color, and then cover loosely with a foil tent. COOK the bird for a total of 3 - 3 1/2 hours. During the last 45 minutes of baking, remove the foil tent, and set aside, allowing the skin to brown. BASTE often with rendered juices to promote even browning, and prevent the bird from drying out. The recommended method for testing your bird to see if it's ready would be to use a meat thermometer; it will always give you accurate results (if it’s calibrated). The turkey is done when the thigh meat reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees F. TO GET an accurate reading, stick a meat thermometer into the thickest part of the thigh; the turkey is cooked when the internal temperature reads 165 (be sure that your thermometer is not touching the bone). Okay, so you don't own a meat thermometer - now what?! PIERCE the thigh with a sharp knife. Meat juices will run out of the skin. The turkey is cooked when juices run clear. RE-TENT the bird with the foil and let rest for about 25 minutes before carving. This allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat, and makes for easier carving. CARVE turkey right before serving. Asian Plum Sauce: PLACE pitted plums in the bowl of a food processor; pulse briefly until coarsely chopped (do not purée). You can also chop the plums by hand if you prefer 91 | fyimagazineny.com a coarser texture. You should end up with about 2 1/2 cups of chopped plums. IN A LARGE non-reactive (stainless steel) saucepan, combine brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, apple cider vinegar, onion, pepper, mustard seeds, salt, garlic, and ginger. BRING to a boil over high heat, stirring constantly ADD chopped plums and return to a boil. REDUCE heat to medium and boil gently, stirring occasionally to prevent scorching, until sauce is thick and syrupy for about 3/4 of an hour. ADJUST seasoning. I personally like the sauce a bit more tangy, but if you prefer it a bit sweeter, feel free to add more sugar accordingly. Don't be afraid to play. LADLE hot jam over turkey slices and serve. Garnish with a sprinkling of fresh parsley. **To make jam ahead of time, store in a Mason jar, reheat just before serving, or serve at room temperature. ***Feel free to swap a whole chicken for a whole turkey bird; just adjust cooking times accordingly.
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Roasted Turkey With Asian Plum Sauce SARA CHANA GRUSKIN   SHE COOKS THAT  Ro...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Quinoa Sushi Salad ESTY WOLBE | COOKING WITH TANTRUMS The holidays are notorious for being loaded with heavy foods and lots of carbs. This dish is a great way to introduce some healthier carbs to the table without sacrificing taste. Even those who wouldn't ever touch quinoa gobble this up happily. Feel free to add your favorite toppings or skip the ones you don't like. All the components can be prepared in advance and tossed together whenever you're ready. 2 cups quinoa, rinsed 4 cups water 1 tablespoon olive oil salt and pepper 8-10 sticks mock crab 1 large cucumber 1 avocado 1/2 cup crunchy fried onions Store-bought spicy mayo 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds  COOK quinoa in water with olive oil, salt, and pepper. SIMMER covered over a medium flame for about 20 minutes, until the water is absorbed. REMOVE from heat and set aside to cool. Meanwhile, slice the mock crab sticks, and dice the cucumber and avocado. TO ASSEMBLE: layer quinoa, mock crab, cucumber and avocado. SPRINKLE with the fried onions and drizzle spicy mayo. SPRINKLE toasted sesame seeds over the top and serve. 92 | fyimagazineny.com 93 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Quinoa Sushi Salad ESTY WOLBE   COOKING WITH TANTRUMS  The holidays are noto...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Quinoa Sushi Salad ESTY WOLBE | COOKING WITH TANTRUMS The holidays are notorious for being loaded with heavy foods and lots of carbs. This dish is a great way to introduce some healthier carbs to the table without sacrificing taste. Even those who wouldn't ever touch quinoa gobble this up happily. Feel free to add your favorite toppings or skip the ones you don't like. All the components can be prepared in advance and tossed together whenever you're ready. 2 cups quinoa, rinsed 4 cups water 1 tablespoon olive oil salt and pepper 8-10 sticks mock crab 1 large cucumber 1 avocado 1/2 cup crunchy fried onions Store-bought spicy mayo 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds  COOK quinoa in water with olive oil, salt, and pepper. SIMMER covered over a medium flame for about 20 minutes, until the water is absorbed. REMOVE from heat and set aside to cool. Meanwhile, slice the mock crab sticks, and dice the cucumber and avocado. TO ASSEMBLE: layer quinoa, mock crab, cucumber and avocado. SPRINKLE with the fried onions and drizzle spicy mayo. SPRINKLE toasted sesame seeds over the top and serve. 92 | fyimagazineny.com 93 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Quinoa Sushi Salad ESTY WOLBE   COOKING WITH TANTRUMS  The holidays are noto...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Overnight Pulled Beef DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE & CARROTS This meat is the perfect prep-ahead meat for a two-day Yom Tov. I developed this recipe when I was trying to figure out what to do with my cholent pot after the first day of Yom Tov. Most people put their crockpot on a timer, but somehow, and I know some of you out there feel me on this, the timer just doesn't work. It either shuts off too early, doesn't shut off, or turns on at all the wrong times. And yes, it's definitely the timer. Not me. So, I made this deckle. The next day we had the most amazing, fresh, soft and delicious pulled beef. Whether you prep this ahead or just make it all in one shot, it's the perfect Yom Tov recipe. & Pull Apart Potato Rings DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE & CARROTS This is a really versatile side dish. I sometimes serve this as an appetizer with a bowl of mushroom sauce in the center, or as a main course filled with pulled beef or sauteed chicken and onions. It’s easy to make and freezes beautifully. This dish can be made in its entirety and then frozen or refrigerated. Allow it to cool completely and then, leaving it on the parchment it was baked in, transfer it to your countertop. Cover it with the overhang of the parchment and wrap tightly in Saran Wrap. To reheat it, thaw it out overnight and then place uncovered on a hot plate or in a warming drawer. SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE PULLED BEEF: It's quick, easy, super yummy and feeds a lot of people for a little money! You can serve the meat in the center of the breakaway potato ring, or change things up and warm soft tacos to stuff them in, or just on top of some steamed rice. However you do it, make it your own and enjoy! (You can also make this dish in its entirety, pull the beef, let it cool completely, and freeze it. It will hold up beautifully.) For the dry rub: 1 3-pound Deckle roast ¼ cup packed, dark brown sugar 2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon kosher salt 2 tablespoons smoked paprika 1 tablespoon mustard powder 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional, but recommended) 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon Turkish coffee powder 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons canola oil IN A SMALL BOWL, combine brown sugar, salt, paprika, mustard, cayenne, and coffee. MIX well to make sure all the spices are well blended. Pat roast dry. DRIZZLE olive oil on both sides of the meat and liberally sprinkle spice mixture all around. The deckle has a few nooks and crannies, so make sure to get the spice mixture everywhere. Really be generous with the blend and work it into the meat. PLACE A PAN over medium 94 | fyimagazineny.com heat and allow to preheat for 4-5 minutes. HEAT a large oven-safe pan over medium high heat. POUR canola oil into hot pan and immediately place the deckle roast in. ADD oil and onions, salt and pepper. Cook for ten minutes until softened. LET IT COOK in the pan, without moving it for 4-5 minutes until the spice blend forms a nice crust. ADD the rest of the ingredients and stir. Bring the mixture to a boil. TURN the meat over and allow the second side to sear for another 4-5 minutes. REMOVE meat to a large dish and allow to cool for 1-2 hours. (At this point, you can wrap your meat tightly in Saran Wrap, then foil and freeze it until you are ready to cook it overnight.) For the braise: 2 tablespoons canola oil 1 onion, sliced (purple or white) 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup beef broth 2 15-oz cans tomato sauce ¾ soy sauce ½ cup balsamic vinegar ½ cup honey IN A CROCKPOT add oil and onions, salt and pepper. COOK for ten minutes until softened. ADD the rest of the ingredients and stir. Allow mixture to cook for 20-25 minutes, then submerge deckle into the sauce and pour any of the juices from the meat that are in the pan into the crockpot. COOK overnight. Remove meat and sauce from the crockpot. Allow meat to cool down in the sauce for 45 minutes. Using two forks, pull the beef. PREHEAT oven to 225 F. LOWER heat and submerge deckle into the sauce. Pour any of the juices from the meat that are in the pan into the pot. COVER pot with a lid and place into the oven. (If your lid does not cover the pot well, place a large sheet of tinfoil over the pot before covering it. Once the lid is placed on the pot, push down the foil on the sides of the pan to create a tight seal.) BAKE for 6-8 hours. REMOVE pot from the oven and allow meat to cool down in the pot before shredding. POTATO RINGS: WHILE potatoes are cooking, heat a medium-sized pan over medium heat. Add oil, onions, salt, and pepper. COOK for about 25-30 minutes until onions are golden brown. When potatoes are fork tender, drain well and return to the hot pot. ADD the oil from the sauteed onion and mash very well. Add onions and stir to form mashed potatoes. MIX in egg yolks, stirring vigorously so that the egg doesn’t cook. Set aside. ON a well-floured surface, roll out puff pastry to form a long rectangle. Spoon half the potato mixture along one of the long sides of the puff pastry. Start from the edge of one of side, but leave a 1-inch gap from the potato mixture to the edge of the puff pastry on the second side. Roll up dough to create a potato-filled log. 6 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces ¼ cup salt 1 large (2 medium) onions, diced ¼ tablespoon canola oil ½  teaspoon salt ½  teaspoon black pepper 2 teaspoons paprika 1 tablespoon salt 1 teaspoon black pepper 2 egg yolks, lightly beaten 2 sheets puff pastry 1 egg lightly beaten Sea salt TRANSFER log to a wellgreased, parchment-lined baking sheet. Gently shape the log into a circle. Attach the two ends, and overlap the extra dough from the second side of the puff pastry over the side that was filled to the edge. This will form a seal to the circle. WASH potatoes and place in a large pot filled with water. Add salt and bring potatoes to a boil. Immediately reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. BRUSH the top with egg and sprinkle sea salt. 95 | fyimagazineny.com USING a sharp knife, cut ¾ of the way into the ring to create slices. Using your hands, gently push the ring outwards from the center to slightly separate the slices. BAKE for 45 minutes, until pastry is golden brown. SERVE hot and enjoy! YIELDS 2 RINGS
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Overnight Pulled Beef  DANIELLE RENOV   PEAS LOVE   CARROTS This meat is the perfect prep-ahead mea...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Overnight Pulled Beef DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE & CARROTS This meat is the perfect prep-ahead meat for a two-day Yom Tov. I developed this recipe when I was trying to figure out what to do with my cholent pot after the first day of Yom Tov. Most people put their crockpot on a timer, but somehow, and I know some of you out there feel me on this, the timer just doesn't work. It either shuts off too early, doesn't shut off, or turns on at all the wrong times. And yes, it's definitely the timer. Not me. So, I made this deckle. The next day we had the most amazing, fresh, soft and delicious pulled beef. Whether you prep this ahead or just make it all in one shot, it's the perfect Yom Tov recipe. & Pull Apart Potato Rings DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE & CARROTS This is a really versatile side dish. I sometimes serve this as an appetizer with a bowl of mushroom sauce in the center, or as a main course filled with pulled beef or sauteed chicken and onions. It’s easy to make and freezes beautifully. This dish can be made in its entirety and then frozen or refrigerated. Allow it to cool completely and then, leaving it on the parchment it was baked in, transfer it to your countertop. Cover it with the overhang of the parchment and wrap tightly in Saran Wrap. To reheat it, thaw it out overnight and then place uncovered on a hot plate or in a warming drawer. SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE PULLED BEEF: It's quick, easy, super yummy and feeds a lot of people for a little money! You can serve the meat in the center of the breakaway potato ring, or change things up and warm soft tacos to stuff them in, or just on top of some steamed rice. However you do it, make it your own and enjoy! (You can also make this dish in its entirety, pull the beef, let it cool completely, and freeze it. It will hold up beautifully.) For the dry rub: 1 3-pound Deckle roast ¼ cup packed, dark brown sugar 2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon kosher salt 2 tablespoons smoked paprika 1 tablespoon mustard powder 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional, but recommended) 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon Turkish coffee powder 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons canola oil IN A SMALL BOWL, combine brown sugar, salt, paprika, mustard, cayenne, and coffee. MIX well to make sure all the spices are well blended. Pat roast dry. DRIZZLE olive oil on both sides of the meat and liberally sprinkle spice mixture all around. The deckle has a few nooks and crannies, so make sure to get the spice mixture everywhere. Really be generous with the blend and work it into the meat. PLACE A PAN over medium 94 | fyimagazineny.com heat and allow to preheat for 4-5 minutes. HEAT a large oven-safe pan over medium high heat. POUR canola oil into hot pan and immediately place the deckle roast in. ADD oil and onions, salt and pepper. Cook for ten minutes until softened. LET IT COOK in the pan, without moving it for 4-5 minutes until the spice blend forms a nice crust. ADD the rest of the ingredients and stir. Bring the mixture to a boil. TURN the meat over and allow the second side to sear for another 4-5 minutes. REMOVE meat to a large dish and allow to cool for 1-2 hours. (At this point, you can wrap your meat tightly in Saran Wrap, then foil and freeze it until you are ready to cook it overnight.) For the braise: 2 tablespoons canola oil 1 onion, sliced (purple or white) 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup beef broth 2 15-oz cans tomato sauce ¾ soy sauce ½ cup balsamic vinegar ½ cup honey IN A CROCKPOT add oil and onions, salt and pepper. COOK for ten minutes until softened. ADD the rest of the ingredients and stir. Allow mixture to cook for 20-25 minutes, then submerge deckle into the sauce and pour any of the juices from the meat that are in the pan into the crockpot. COOK overnight. Remove meat and sauce from the crockpot. Allow meat to cool down in the sauce for 45 minutes. Using two forks, pull the beef. PREHEAT oven to 225 F. LOWER heat and submerge deckle into the sauce. Pour any of the juices from the meat that are in the pan into the pot. COVER pot with a lid and place into the oven. (If your lid does not cover the pot well, place a large sheet of tinfoil over the pot before covering it. Once the lid is placed on the pot, push down the foil on the sides of the pan to create a tight seal.) BAKE for 6-8 hours. REMOVE pot from the oven and allow meat to cool down in the pot before shredding. POTATO RINGS: WHILE potatoes are cooking, heat a medium-sized pan over medium heat. Add oil, onions, salt, and pepper. COOK for about 25-30 minutes until onions are golden brown. When potatoes are fork tender, drain well and return to the hot pot. ADD the oil from the sauteed onion and mash very well. Add onions and stir to form mashed potatoes. MIX in egg yolks, stirring vigorously so that the egg doesn’t cook. Set aside. ON a well-floured surface, roll out puff pastry to form a long rectangle. Spoon half the potato mixture along one of the long sides of the puff pastry. Start from the edge of one of side, but leave a 1-inch gap from the potato mixture to the edge of the puff pastry on the second side. Roll up dough to create a potato-filled log. 6 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces ¼ cup salt 1 large (2 medium) onions, diced ¼ tablespoon canola oil ½  teaspoon salt ½  teaspoon black pepper 2 teaspoons paprika 1 tablespoon salt 1 teaspoon black pepper 2 egg yolks, lightly beaten 2 sheets puff pastry 1 egg lightly beaten Sea salt TRANSFER log to a wellgreased, parchment-lined baking sheet. Gently shape the log into a circle. Attach the two ends, and overlap the extra dough from the second side of the puff pastry over the side that was filled to the edge. This will form a seal to the circle. WASH potatoes and place in a large pot filled with water. Add salt and bring potatoes to a boil. Immediately reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. BRUSH the top with egg and sprinkle sea salt. 95 | fyimagazineny.com USING a sharp knife, cut ¾ of the way into the ring to create slices. Using your hands, gently push the ring outwards from the center to slightly separate the slices. BAKE for 45 minutes, until pastry is golden brown. SERVE hot and enjoy! YIELDS 2 RINGS
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Overnight Pulled Beef  DANIELLE RENOV   PEAS LOVE   CARROTS This meat is the perfect prep-ahead mea...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Strawberry Napoleon RAIZY FRIED | RAIZYSCOOKIN A delicious flakey sandwich filled with a divine strawberry mousse and lots of fresh strawberries. Seriously, who wouldn’t love it? Use simple ingredients and elaborate presentation to present this gourmet dish! 1 16 oz. whipped topping 1 teaspoon vanilla sugar 2 tablespoons sugar 1 cup frozen strawberries 16 mini puff pastry squares 8 fresh strawberries, thinly sliced Confectioners’ sugar for sprinkling Mint leaves, blueberries, optional – for garnish For the flakey: PREHEAT oven to 400 degrees. Place the defrosted squares on a lined baking sheet. BAKE for 8-10 minutes or until golden and puffed. For the mousse: BLEND the frozen strawberries in a small bowl with an immersion blender. In a mixer, whip the topping on high speed for 1-2 minutes till stiff peaks. ADD in the sugars and blended strawberries, and mix a bit to combine; don’t over mix. For fresh strawberries: NOTE: All components can be prepared a day or two in advance, but don’t assemble until right before serving (we don’t want it all soggy). Keep the mousse in an airtight container in the refrigerator, and the baked flakey squares in a pan at room temperature. The fresh berries can be sliced and ready, stored in the fridge, of course. CLEAN strawberries and slice finely. To assemble: PLACE a flakey square on a plate and using a piping bag or simply a spoon, pipe/dollop generous amount of the strawberry mousse, top with sliced strawberries, and then place the second flakey square. SPRINKLE confectioners’ sugar and you’re ready to go! 96 | fyimagazineny.com 97 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Strawberry Napoleon RAIZY FRIED   RAIZYSCOOKIN  A delicious flakey sandwich ...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Strawberry Napoleon RAIZY FRIED | RAIZYSCOOKIN A delicious flakey sandwich filled with a divine strawberry mousse and lots of fresh strawberries. Seriously, who wouldn’t love it? Use simple ingredients and elaborate presentation to present this gourmet dish! 1 16 oz. whipped topping 1 teaspoon vanilla sugar 2 tablespoons sugar 1 cup frozen strawberries 16 mini puff pastry squares 8 fresh strawberries, thinly sliced Confectioners’ sugar for sprinkling Mint leaves, blueberries, optional – for garnish For the flakey: PREHEAT oven to 400 degrees. Place the defrosted squares on a lined baking sheet. BAKE for 8-10 minutes or until golden and puffed. For the mousse: BLEND the frozen strawberries in a small bowl with an immersion blender. In a mixer, whip the topping on high speed for 1-2 minutes till stiff peaks. ADD in the sugars and blended strawberries, and mix a bit to combine; don’t over mix. For fresh strawberries: NOTE: All components can be prepared a day or two in advance, but don’t assemble until right before serving (we don’t want it all soggy). Keep the mousse in an airtight container in the refrigerator, and the baked flakey squares in a pan at room temperature. The fresh berries can be sliced and ready, stored in the fridge, of course. CLEAN strawberries and slice finely. To assemble: PLACE a flakey square on a plate and using a piping bag or simply a spoon, pipe/dollop generous amount of the strawberry mousse, top with sliced strawberries, and then place the second flakey square. SPRINKLE confectioners’ sugar and you’re ready to go! 96 | fyimagazineny.com 97 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Strawberry Napoleon RAIZY FRIED   RAIZYSCOOKIN  A delicious flakey sandwich ...
POTS & PANS: MUST HAVES SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE A L L SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE T H I N G S KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHEF SARA CHANA GRUSKIN ­ Last time we discussed the various materials available for pots and pans. Following up, here is the list of "Must-Have" Pots and Pans. I am anti-cookware sets. I think it's just a way for retailers and manufacturers to make you think you're settling on a good deal, when all you're really getting is a bunch of unnecessary pots and pans to clutter up your precious cabinet space. Sarah Chana is a personal chef based out of Lakewood, New Jersey. She runs her personal chef service @she_cooks_that to her clients from the Lakewood/Brooklyn areas and travels frequently to the many destinations her job takes her too. For question regarding this column, or to contact Sara Chana email shecooksthat@gmail.com. Be sure to follow her on Instagram @she_cooks_that for recipes, tips, tricks and an overload of good food. A good set of pots and pans can make home cooking easy. It is not about quantity, but quality, so buy multi-purpose pots and pans. With just a few well-chosen items, you'll be set for a lifetime of cooking. It's impossible for me to tell you that the pots and pans that I use the most will be the same as the ones you'll use the most. But I can tell you this: I cook a lot and I cook a wide variety of things, and with these pots and pans in my stash, I go a long way. Since we run kosher kitchens, we need separate pots and pans. Investing equally in a good set for both dairy and meat cooking will be worthwhile. SKILLET The frying pan is one of the most used pieces of cookware in the kitchen. Saute pans and skillets are practically one and the same, aside from a subtle but important difference when it comes down to shape. A skillet is a pan with slanted sides. Confusingly, it is also known as a frying pan. The flared, shallow sides encourage rapid evaporation of moisture, so foods sear and brown, rather than steam. The slanted sides make this pan perfect 98 | fyimagazineny.com for stir-frying and quick cooking techniques where you're moving ingredients around a lot in the pan. It's also good for dishes like frittatas, omelets, or pancakes that are served straight from the pan. Sauteing and pan frying are common cooking methods implemented in many recipes using skillets/frying pans, so chances are you're going to need a good set to get you through the week. I recommend investing in 3 or 4 good quality pans, rather than a dozen cheap ones. Having a range of small to large frying pans gives you flexibility. A small skillet works well for cooking in small quantities; it cuts the cooking time in half, so frying an egg is a simple task. A medium skillet sometimes makes 99 | fyimagazineny.com follow us @streiferwigs
POTS   PANS  MUST HAVES  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  A L L  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  T H I N G S  KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHE...
POTS & PANS: MUST HAVES SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE A L L SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE T H I N G S KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHEF SARA CHANA GRUSKIN ­ Last time we discussed the various materials available for pots and pans. Following up, here is the list of "Must-Have" Pots and Pans. I am anti-cookware sets. I think it's just a way for retailers and manufacturers to make you think you're settling on a good deal, when all you're really getting is a bunch of unnecessary pots and pans to clutter up your precious cabinet space. Sarah Chana is a personal chef based out of Lakewood, New Jersey. She runs her personal chef service @she_cooks_that to her clients from the Lakewood/Brooklyn areas and travels frequently to the many destinations her job takes her too. For question regarding this column, or to contact Sara Chana email shecooksthat@gmail.com. Be sure to follow her on Instagram @she_cooks_that for recipes, tips, tricks and an overload of good food. A good set of pots and pans can make home cooking easy. It is not about quantity, but quality, so buy multi-purpose pots and pans. With just a few well-chosen items, you'll be set for a lifetime of cooking. It's impossible for me to tell you that the pots and pans that I use the most will be the same as the ones you'll use the most. But I can tell you this: I cook a lot and I cook a wide variety of things, and with these pots and pans in my stash, I go a long way. Since we run kosher kitchens, we need separate pots and pans. Investing equally in a good set for both dairy and meat cooking will be worthwhile. SKILLET The frying pan is one of the most used pieces of cookware in the kitchen. Saute pans and skillets are practically one and the same, aside from a subtle but important difference when it comes down to shape. A skillet is a pan with slanted sides. Confusingly, it is also known as a frying pan. The flared, shallow sides encourage rapid evaporation of moisture, so foods sear and brown, rather than steam. The slanted sides make this pan perfect 98 | fyimagazineny.com for stir-frying and quick cooking techniques where you're moving ingredients around a lot in the pan. It's also good for dishes like frittatas, omelets, or pancakes that are served straight from the pan. Sauteing and pan frying are common cooking methods implemented in many recipes using skillets/frying pans, so chances are you're going to need a good set to get you through the week. I recommend investing in 3 or 4 good quality pans, rather than a dozen cheap ones. Having a range of small to large frying pans gives you flexibility. A small skillet works well for cooking in small quantities; it cuts the cooking time in half, so frying an egg is a simple task. A medium skillet sometimes makes 99 | fyimagazineny.com follow us @streiferwigs
POTS   PANS  MUST HAVES  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  A L L  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  T H I N G S  KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHE...
YOU GOTTA KNOW SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE For Less | Book Review | Tried & Tested the ideal choice for cooking, since a little extra breathing room is always helpful. Having a large skillet is handy when you're feeding a crowd. A large frying pan works great for big batches of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sauteing large amounts of vegetables. If you’re looking to optimize your cabinet space, a set of small, medium, and large frying pans can be easily stacked and stored. 10-14 INCH SAUTE PAN WITH LID Unlike a skillet, a sauté pan has relatively tall, vertical sides set at a right angle to the base, which makes for a larger bottom surface for searing larger cuts of meat and protecting against splattering. It excels at frying large batches of food (like schnitzel or latkes), braising enough to feed four to six hungry adults. A sauté pan also features a tighter fitting lid, which makes it great for slow-cooked braises or in-the-oven cooking. 8-10 INCH NONSTICK SKILLET In general, I am not the biggest fan of non-stick pots and pans; you lose out on the wonderful color/ flavor you get from a good non-coated pan. However, there is no denying that crisp browning isn't usually the goal when cooking eggs, so for guaranteed results with omelets, frittatas, and the like - things which you don't want getting stuck to the pan halfway through a delicate flipping - a non-stick skillet is a useful tool to have on hand. 2-4 QUART SAUCEPAN WITH LID Saucepans are your kitchen’s workhorses - just the right size and shape for many common kitchen tasks. They are so easy to maneuver, we use these multitaskers to boil eggs, blanch and steam vegetables, cook pasta and grains, rice, sauces, and puddings, to name just a few. They’re also great for reheating soups and small portions of food. A 2-quart pot makes it quick and easy to cook small portions. A four-quart is family-friendly; it will help you feed about eight persons. BAKING SHEETS Rimmed aluminum baking sheets, also known as half-sheet pans, are used for everything, from roasting vegetables to cooking meats and chicken, toasting nuts, making candies like toffee bars and caramels, and of course, baking cookies. Keep it light and thick. A thick surface will heat and brown evenly, making for perfectly cooked meat, vegetables, or cookies. A pan that isn't thick enough can buckle and transfer heat too intensely, burning the food. Investing in a couple of good quality baking sheets could save you lots of money in the long run, and they can last a lifetime. Disposable pans are not only inferior conductors of heat, but they eat up your money, because you're constantly reinvesting in new ones; after all, they’re disposable. Make the switch and you wont switch back. ask•the•organizer Q: I love having my family over for Yom Tov; it's one of the highlights of my year. However, I feel overwhelmed with the rush beforehand and the pressure on Yom Tov of constantly serving, cleaning and cooking. The stress of cooking and company can set me off kilter.  How can I make it less stressful on myself? Sincerely, Stressed Dear Stressed, Here are some ideas using my acronym for “Y.O.M T.O.V.” to reduce stress and create a truly memorable holiday experience with the family. >> 10-12 QUART SAUCE/STOCK POT Every kitchen should have at least one really big pot! You might think it’s not for you, but it’s certainly helpful for those of us with big families to feed. It's super easy to make big batches of pasta, soups, and sauces. And when it comes to stocking our freezer for the Yomim Tovim, or the long winter, we have found a new friend. 100 | fyimagazineny.com CAST IRON SKILLET I put this one last since you can manage fine without it, but I do strongly recommend it for its wonderful and amazing benefits. I'm warning you, though; if you do buy one, you will definitely fall in love with it. A cast iron skillet is a superior conductor of heat, contributes well to searing, and, for dishes that require braising, it moves conveniently from stovetop to oven. Hey, that's one less dish to wash! You have me in on that one. fyi WRITTEN BY ADINA FOROUZAN 101 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  For Less   Book Review   Tried   Tested  the ideal choice for cooking, since a litt...
YOU GOTTA KNOW SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE For Less | Book Review | Tried & Tested the ideal choice for cooking, since a little extra breathing room is always helpful. Having a large skillet is handy when you're feeding a crowd. A large frying pan works great for big batches of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sauteing large amounts of vegetables. If you’re looking to optimize your cabinet space, a set of small, medium, and large frying pans can be easily stacked and stored. 10-14 INCH SAUTE PAN WITH LID Unlike a skillet, a sauté pan has relatively tall, vertical sides set at a right angle to the base, which makes for a larger bottom surface for searing larger cuts of meat and protecting against splattering. It excels at frying large batches of food (like schnitzel or latkes), braising enough to feed four to six hungry adults. A sauté pan also features a tighter fitting lid, which makes it great for slow-cooked braises or in-the-oven cooking. 8-10 INCH NONSTICK SKILLET In general, I am not the biggest fan of non-stick pots and pans; you lose out on the wonderful color/ flavor you get from a good non-coated pan. However, there is no denying that crisp browning isn't usually the goal when cooking eggs, so for guaranteed results with omelets, frittatas, and the like - things which you don't want getting stuck to the pan halfway through a delicate flipping - a non-stick skillet is a useful tool to have on hand. 2-4 QUART SAUCEPAN WITH LID Saucepans are your kitchen’s workhorses - just the right size and shape for many common kitchen tasks. They are so easy to maneuver, we use these multitaskers to boil eggs, blanch and steam vegetables, cook pasta and grains, rice, sauces, and puddings, to name just a few. They’re also great for reheating soups and small portions of food. A 2-quart pot makes it quick and easy to cook small portions. A four-quart is family-friendly; it will help you feed about eight persons. BAKING SHEETS Rimmed aluminum baking sheets, also known as half-sheet pans, are used for everything, from roasting vegetables to cooking meats and chicken, toasting nuts, making candies like toffee bars and caramels, and of course, baking cookies. Keep it light and thick. A thick surface will heat and brown evenly, making for perfectly cooked meat, vegetables, or cookies. A pan that isn't thick enough can buckle and transfer heat too intensely, burning the food. Investing in a couple of good quality baking sheets could save you lots of money in the long run, and they can last a lifetime. Disposable pans are not only inferior conductors of heat, but they eat up your money, because you're constantly reinvesting in new ones; after all, they’re disposable. Make the switch and you wont switch back. ask•the•organizer Q: I love having my family over for Yom Tov; it's one of the highlights of my year. However, I feel overwhelmed with the rush beforehand and the pressure on Yom Tov of constantly serving, cleaning and cooking. The stress of cooking and company can set me off kilter.  How can I make it less stressful on myself? Sincerely, Stressed Dear Stressed, Here are some ideas using my acronym for “Y.O.M T.O.V.” to reduce stress and create a truly memorable holiday experience with the family. >> 10-12 QUART SAUCE/STOCK POT Every kitchen should have at least one really big pot! You might think it’s not for you, but it’s certainly helpful for those of us with big families to feed. It's super easy to make big batches of pasta, soups, and sauces. And when it comes to stocking our freezer for the Yomim Tovim, or the long winter, we have found a new friend. 100 | fyimagazineny.com CAST IRON SKILLET I put this one last since you can manage fine without it, but I do strongly recommend it for its wonderful and amazing benefits. I'm warning you, though; if you do buy one, you will definitely fall in love with it. A cast iron skillet is a superior conductor of heat, contributes well to searing, and, for dishes that require braising, it moves conveniently from stovetop to oven. Hey, that's one less dish to wash! You have me in on that one. fyi WRITTEN BY ADINA FOROUZAN 101 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  For Less   Book Review   Tried   Tested  the ideal choice for cooking, since a litt...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW Y EARN to make Yom Tov joyful for yourself and for everyone. All throughout the month, ask Hashem for Siyata Dishmaya in helping you prepare for the holidays, as you yearn to make this time truly happy. O RGANIZATION and planning ahead are fundamental in alleviating stress. Yom Tov is not a time to “wing it.” Plan ahead as much as possible, and make sure most or all of your Yom Tov preparations are taken care of prior to the big day! Do not wait until the end to start changing linens or making elaborate meals. Map out the details of the month well in advance. Make lists of what needs to be done, bought, cooked, and set goals for each day. Check tasks off the list as you accomplish them. (Check our prep-ahead list on the next page.) Assuming you stuck to your pre-holiday preparation, on Erev Yom Tov itself, do not fall prey to the “I have time to do one more thing” mentality. What is done is done. Less is more, especially if it is going to help you remain calm. Try to be ready as early as possible. Set the table, bathe, and prepare the kids’ outfits in advance. Preparing an extra kugel or dish is not worth the extra Erev Yom Tov pressure when you already have a stocked freezer! M EAL planning is essential in reducing the stress associated with holidays. Prepare as much of your grocery shopping and seudas way in advance. This step is crucial and should not be left to the last minute, as it is an overwhelming part of preparing for Yom Tov! When you cook for Shabbos or the first days, make an extra kugel, cake, chicken, etc., for Yom Tov and freeze. Alternatively, you can prep the meats or chickens when you get home from the butcher, recipe ready and completely ready to cook when you remove from the freezer. A lot of pressure comes from trying to be the “hostess with the mostest.” Having the “basics” but being calm and happy completely outweighs having a table set with every gourmet delicacy made from scratch. Please remember: do not aim for perfection; good enough IS good enough! Cut corners and cut yourself some slack by purchasing ready or semi-homemade foods. Eliminate the constant preparation of salads on Yom Tov by having make-ahead marinated salads. Bear in mind that your family needs to eat Erev Yom Tov. Think ahead and have a lunch prepared in advance, or have them go out for pizza. Cranky and hungry children/ guests are not fun to have around; that includes you. Make sure you schedule time to eat before Yom Tov! Be proactive and make Chol HaMoed meals easier by putting up a crock pot supper to enjoy when you and your clan return home from a family day out. T RANSFER all your “to do” lists, meal plans, and suggestions for the following year into a “Yom Tov” binder or notebook. This step takes discipline but will save you a headache for the following year. Save the notes from year to year. I love the time my lists save me and the nostalgic feelings I get when I open my “Yom Tov” notebook anew, come Yom Tov time again.   O VERWHELMED with the clean up? Make it easier for yourself. There are stunning disposable dishes available, which sometimes look more elegant than real china. Cleanup after the meal is a breeze with disposables. However, if the cost is going to bite on your wallet, consider hiring cleaning help for an hour just to do your dishes to give you a break! Ironically, cleaning help is more cost effective than those stunning disposables! I consider 102 | fyimagazineny.com “extra cleaning help” as part of our Yom Tov budget.   V OICE Do not be afraid to communicate your need for help. Delegate responsibilities to others. Guests love to help and feel great when they contribute! You can suggest they bring a salad, cake, or something from a takeout store to facilitate with the meal. If your married kids are coming, perhaps assign what they can take care of beforehand, like kugels, desserts, sukkah decorations, etc. Mrs. Bina Drazin, a household name in Cleveland, Ohio for her chesed and hospitality par excellence, shared with me, “I would tell my children, ‘I’m only one person with like 25-30 of you. We’re all in this together. I want all of you to have a vacation, not that I should be sick afterwards.’ My sons-in-law call to see what I need from stores, my daughters help by making food, everyone helps with the serving. The younger ones babysit only if they want to, (can’t demand [the singles] to babysit). As a result, the married siblings buy them treats to thank them. We make it fun for everyone!” Furthermore, “I focus on enjoying family more than cleanliness.” Assigning responsibilities to others will ease your workload and help you maximize your holiday spirits with the family. Make this Sukkos one that your “Ushpizin” can’t wait to come back to! fyi Have a delightful Yom Tov, Until next time, Adina Forouzan P.S. I highly recommend checking out Azriela Jaffe’s chatzos.com website, where she maps out the beauty of chatzos and transforming an Erev Shabbos/Yom Tov environment from chaos to calm. As a result of “chatzos,” my holiday and Shabbos preparation experience have been extraordinarily improved! Chatzos.com offers resources and a forum with great suggestions on ways to eliminate the Erev Shabbos/Yom Tov pressure. HERE’S A GENERAL TO-DO LIST OF ITEMS YOU SHOULD TAKE CARE OF WELL IN ADVANCE TO ALLEVIATE THE “LAST MINUTE” YOM TOV STRESS. Sukk os To -Do L ist ME A L S: • Ma p out me a l Su k k plan os t h f rom roug PE R S Erev (inclu h S i mc ONA de t h ha s T L: e sc r • recip Ha i or a h ump es!) r cuts t ious • Gr • Sh FYI o c er y eitel Shop • Sto • P r ep p i n ck up g a re o f r e ez utf its pr e p ( I a lw er w i a red f rom t ays t h in ad food head • Cr r y to husb vanc ock p to to m a a ke s e o n t me d • Pu h ure m e! a als fo s “go Kohe rc ha y od” s r Cho n! W se t a ock s ould l Ha M ke-ou supp p e ek - he’s n’t w l e me t item o ed ing t a a n n t any hrou t wha s to your duch gh w to es t is m “hom an in h i i s si n • Ma l emad e he’s g.) g f ro r inad e me m e sa l nu” • Pre ads pa r e Erev SUKK g ue s Yom t s , or OS I T Tov l EMS: go ou unch • Mac      t for for h z or pi z z a im • Lu lav a nd Es HOU • Su r og SEHO k kah LD/G D e co • La • Su UEST undr rat io k k S a ns : y bef h ligh • Pre • Ex or e S ts, he pa r e t ra H u k ko ater, a o l s l s t h b eds he be wel l anos R ab b , etc. in ad ds an for H a v a d a • s n a r r iv linen Toy ha na ce b e e s S f o e f r er To e t he • Pre rah a k id s g ue s pa r e for S nd t r ts “ w elc i mc h eats • k it (I ome Be e o as To for nclud g r u i e rah n st b a e an s e t heir c t sket ” FYI m t raps read for S agaz ing p • Inq uk ka ine fo lea s u u i re h r re;-) ) abou • Inq t a n u i re y g u abou e st a need t sp e l ler g M OS s (ex c i f ic ie s T IMP : high g ue s ORTA Play, A t F TE R s c ’ h NTLY etc.) a i r , YOM Pack , RIG • A r TOV! “to do HT ‘n rang Trans ” lists e for fer al ex t r a , on Yo m favor e a l your l m To c lea n p ite dis l v (inq ing h hes, w ans, new f halac what elp u i re a h hos r mily a didn’t t wor abou eg a rd ked a p r i or work t t he sugge ing m n , to Yo d a s n tions d oth elach m To er for th into a a v) e follo “ Yom wing Tov” This w year, binde ill def r or n initely time o t ebook Sukko help y . s com ou ne xt es aro und! 103 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  Y  EARN to make Yom Tov joyful for yourself and for everyone. All throughout the month, as...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW Y EARN to make Yom Tov joyful for yourself and for everyone. All throughout the month, ask Hashem for Siyata Dishmaya in helping you prepare for the holidays, as you yearn to make this time truly happy. O RGANIZATION and planning ahead are fundamental in alleviating stress. Yom Tov is not a time to “wing it.” Plan ahead as much as possible, and make sure most or all of your Yom Tov preparations are taken care of prior to the big day! Do not wait until the end to start changing linens or making elaborate meals. Map out the details of the month well in advance. Make lists of what needs to be done, bought, cooked, and set goals for each day. Check tasks off the list as you accomplish them. (Check our prep-ahead list on the next page.) Assuming you stuck to your pre-holiday preparation, on Erev Yom Tov itself, do not fall prey to the “I have time to do one more thing” mentality. What is done is done. Less is more, especially if it is going to help you remain calm. Try to be ready as early as possible. Set the table, bathe, and prepare the kids’ outfits in advance. Preparing an extra kugel or dish is not worth the extra Erev Yom Tov pressure when you already have a stocked freezer! M EAL planning is essential in reducing the stress associated with holidays. Prepare as much of your grocery shopping and seudas way in advance. This step is crucial and should not be left to the last minute, as it is an overwhelming part of preparing for Yom Tov! When you cook for Shabbos or the first days, make an extra kugel, cake, chicken, etc., for Yom Tov and freeze. Alternatively, you can prep the meats or chickens when you get home from the butcher, recipe ready and completely ready to cook when you remove from the freezer. A lot of pressure comes from trying to be the “hostess with the mostest.” Having the “basics” but being calm and happy completely outweighs having a table set with every gourmet delicacy made from scratch. Please remember: do not aim for perfection; good enough IS good enough! Cut corners and cut yourself some slack by purchasing ready or semi-homemade foods. Eliminate the constant preparation of salads on Yom Tov by having make-ahead marinated salads. Bear in mind that your family needs to eat Erev Yom Tov. Think ahead and have a lunch prepared in advance, or have them go out for pizza. Cranky and hungry children/ guests are not fun to have around; that includes you. Make sure you schedule time to eat before Yom Tov! Be proactive and make Chol HaMoed meals easier by putting up a crock pot supper to enjoy when you and your clan return home from a family day out. T RANSFER all your “to do” lists, meal plans, and suggestions for the following year into a “Yom Tov” binder or notebook. This step takes discipline but will save you a headache for the following year. Save the notes from year to year. I love the time my lists save me and the nostalgic feelings I get when I open my “Yom Tov” notebook anew, come Yom Tov time again.   O VERWHELMED with the clean up? Make it easier for yourself. There are stunning disposable dishes available, which sometimes look more elegant than real china. Cleanup after the meal is a breeze with disposables. However, if the cost is going to bite on your wallet, consider hiring cleaning help for an hour just to do your dishes to give you a break! Ironically, cleaning help is more cost effective than those stunning disposables! I consider 102 | fyimagazineny.com “extra cleaning help” as part of our Yom Tov budget.   V OICE Do not be afraid to communicate your need for help. Delegate responsibilities to others. Guests love to help and feel great when they contribute! You can suggest they bring a salad, cake, or something from a takeout store to facilitate with the meal. If your married kids are coming, perhaps assign what they can take care of beforehand, like kugels, desserts, sukkah decorations, etc. Mrs. Bina Drazin, a household name in Cleveland, Ohio for her chesed and hospitality par excellence, shared with me, “I would tell my children, ‘I’m only one person with like 25-30 of you. We’re all in this together. I want all of you to have a vacation, not that I should be sick afterwards.’ My sons-in-law call to see what I need from stores, my daughters help by making food, everyone helps with the serving. The younger ones babysit only if they want to, (can’t demand [the singles] to babysit). As a result, the married siblings buy them treats to thank them. We make it fun for everyone!” Furthermore, “I focus on enjoying family more than cleanliness.” Assigning responsibilities to others will ease your workload and help you maximize your holiday spirits with the family. Make this Sukkos one that your “Ushpizin” can’t wait to come back to! fyi Have a delightful Yom Tov, Until next time, Adina Forouzan P.S. I highly recommend checking out Azriela Jaffe’s chatzos.com website, where she maps out the beauty of chatzos and transforming an Erev Shabbos/Yom Tov environment from chaos to calm. As a result of “chatzos,” my holiday and Shabbos preparation experience have been extraordinarily improved! Chatzos.com offers resources and a forum with great suggestions on ways to eliminate the Erev Shabbos/Yom Tov pressure. HERE’S A GENERAL TO-DO LIST OF ITEMS YOU SHOULD TAKE CARE OF WELL IN ADVANCE TO ALLEVIATE THE “LAST MINUTE” YOM TOV STRESS. Sukk os To -Do L ist ME A L S: • Ma p out me a l Su k k plan os t h f rom roug PE R S Erev (inclu h S i mc ONA de t h ha s T L: e sc r • recip Ha i or a h ump es!) r cuts t ious • Gr • Sh FYI o c er y eitel Shop • Sto • P r ep p i n ck up g a re o f r e ez utf its pr e p ( I a lw er w i a red f rom t ays t h in ad food head • Cr r y to husb vanc ock p to to m a a ke s e o n t me d • Pu h ure m e! a als fo s “go Kohe rc ha y od” s r Cho n! W se t a ock s ould l Ha M ke-ou supp p e ek - he’s n’t w l e me t item o ed ing t a a n n t any hrou t wha s to your duch gh w to es t is m “hom an in h i i s si n • Ma l emad e he’s g.) g f ro r inad e me m e sa l nu” • Pre ads pa r e Erev SUKK g ue s Yom t s , or OS I T Tov l EMS: go ou unch • Mac      t for for h z or pi z z a im • Lu lav a nd Es HOU • Su r og SEHO k kah LD/G D e co • La • Su UEST undr rat io k k S a ns : y bef h ligh • Pre • Ex or e S ts, he pa r e t ra H u k ko ater, a o l s l s t h b eds he be wel l anos R ab b , etc. in ad ds an for H a v a d a • s n a r r iv linen Toy ha na ce b e e s S f o e f r er To e t he • Pre rah a k id s g ue s pa r e for S nd t r ts “ w elc i mc h eats • k it (I ome Be e o as To for nclud g r u i e rah n st b a e an s e t heir c t sket ” FYI m t raps read for S agaz ing p • Inq uk ka ine fo lea s u u i re h r re;-) ) abou • Inq t a n u i re y g u abou e st a need t sp e l ler g M OS s (ex c i f ic ie s T IMP : high g ue s ORTA Play, A t F TE R s c ’ h NTLY etc.) a i r , YOM Pack , RIG • A r TOV! “to do HT ‘n rang Trans ” lists e for fer al ex t r a , on Yo m favor e a l your l m To c lea n p ite dis l v (inq ing h hes, w ans, new f halac what elp u i re a h hos r mily a didn’t t wor abou eg a rd ked a p r i or work t t he sugge ing m n , to Yo d a s n tions d oth elach m To er for th into a a v) e follo “ Yom wing Tov” This w year, binde ill def r or n initely time o t ebook Sukko help y . s com ou ne xt es aro und! 103 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  Y  EARN to make Yom Tov joyful for yourself and for everyone. All throughout the month, as...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW tried&tested TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, OR EVEN WITH YOURSELF! WRITTEN BY MIRIAM SCHWARTZMAN BLOW-UP MATTRESSES Whether you’re hosting guests or you’ll be staying at family, chances are at least one person will be left without a bed. And those that sleep in the Sukkah also need some sort of sleeping arrangements. In comes the infamous blow up mattress to save the day. We’re familiar with the not-so-comfortable blow up mattress dilemma. You go to sleep on a nice full mattress, but upon waking, you find yourself sleeping practically on the floor. We don’t want that to happen, and it shouldn’t. Therefore, we reviewed the best air mattresses to help you enjoy Yom Tov. 30 Just celebrated your thirtieth birthday? Well, you may not want to think about it this way but it is precisely at this birthday that your skeleton begins to shrink. Of course your skeleton is not the only thing that shrinks. A human brain can shrink up to 15% as a person ages. 1.5k Summer’s over and it’s time for birds to fly down south. When they migrate, Canadian Geese fly in the V formation you often see overhead, because it is the most aerodynamic arrangement. The birds are highly considerate as they take turns flying at the front of the V, dropping back when they get tired. In the right wind conditions they can cover 1500 miles in only 24 hours! 1.6k 197 Make that 197 feet tall. That is how tall certain species of palm trees can grow. (They would surely make for oversized lulavim!) The Quindio wax palm, Colombia's national tree, is the tallest-growing species of palm. A different species, the coco de mer palm tree, has the largest seeds of any plant on Earth! Its seeds can be up to 20 inches in diameter and weigh around 66 pounds!  104 | fyimagazineny.com 2015 It’s an election year, and chances are if you are reading this magazine, you are likely the female head of the household. Lucky for you, you can be subscribed to the FYI anywhere, and as soon as you finish reading this magazine, you can go vote! Women in Saudi Arabia were not nearly that lucky since last year. No, they can’t really get the FYI, but they did get the right to vote just last year! Give respect to bamboo for it doesn’t only make great schach. After his first practical light bulb (1880), Thomas Edison designed a new version that had all the essential features of a modern light bulb. The most critical factor was finding the right material for the filament, the part that glows when an electric current passes through it. Edison tested more than 1,600 materials, including coconut fiber, fishing line, even hairs from a worker's beard until he settled upon carbonized bamboo filament. It lasted more than 1200 hours, more than any other material at the time. Sound Sleep Dream Air Mattress, $120 Very firm, inflates in just over four minutes, and deflates just as rapidly, Soft top, double height. Intex Raised Downy Bed, $48 Built in pump easy to inflate and deflate, light to carry and store. 105 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  tried tested TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT   S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW tried&tested TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, OR EVEN WITH YOURSELF! WRITTEN BY MIRIAM SCHWARTZMAN BLOW-UP MATTRESSES Whether you’re hosting guests or you’ll be staying at family, chances are at least one person will be left without a bed. And those that sleep in the Sukkah also need some sort of sleeping arrangements. In comes the infamous blow up mattress to save the day. We’re familiar with the not-so-comfortable blow up mattress dilemma. You go to sleep on a nice full mattress, but upon waking, you find yourself sleeping practically on the floor. We don’t want that to happen, and it shouldn’t. Therefore, we reviewed the best air mattresses to help you enjoy Yom Tov. 30 Just celebrated your thirtieth birthday? Well, you may not want to think about it this way but it is precisely at this birthday that your skeleton begins to shrink. Of course your skeleton is not the only thing that shrinks. A human brain can shrink up to 15% as a person ages. 1.5k Summer’s over and it’s time for birds to fly down south. When they migrate, Canadian Geese fly in the V formation you often see overhead, because it is the most aerodynamic arrangement. The birds are highly considerate as they take turns flying at the front of the V, dropping back when they get tired. In the right wind conditions they can cover 1500 miles in only 24 hours! 1.6k 197 Make that 197 feet tall. That is how tall certain species of palm trees can grow. (They would surely make for oversized lulavim!) The Quindio wax palm, Colombia's national tree, is the tallest-growing species of palm. A different species, the coco de mer palm tree, has the largest seeds of any plant on Earth! Its seeds can be up to 20 inches in diameter and weigh around 66 pounds!  104 | fyimagazineny.com 2015 It’s an election year, and chances are if you are reading this magazine, you are likely the female head of the household. Lucky for you, you can be subscribed to the FYI anywhere, and as soon as you finish reading this magazine, you can go vote! Women in Saudi Arabia were not nearly that lucky since last year. No, they can’t really get the FYI, but they did get the right to vote just last year! Give respect to bamboo for it doesn’t only make great schach. After his first practical light bulb (1880), Thomas Edison designed a new version that had all the essential features of a modern light bulb. The most critical factor was finding the right material for the filament, the part that glows when an electric current passes through it. Edison tested more than 1,600 materials, including coconut fiber, fishing line, even hairs from a worker's beard until he settled upon carbonized bamboo filament. It lasted more than 1200 hours, more than any other material at the time. Sound Sleep Dream Air Mattress, $120 Very firm, inflates in just over four minutes, and deflates just as rapidly, Soft top, double height. Intex Raised Downy Bed, $48 Built in pump easy to inflate and deflate, light to carry and store. 105 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  tried tested TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT   S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR...
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW magic helpers Ingenious products that will make your day easier. HOME DELIVERY! UMBRA HANGIT PHOTO DISPLAY Hang this contraption to your sukkah wall for a sharp, eye-catching display that will last year after year. Rotate the contents to suit your whimsy, from family polaroids, to your children’s artwork, to photographs of Ushpizin or Tzaddikim. All this needs is your creative touch! bedbathandbeyond.com, $19.99 ULTRASONIC BUG REPELLER Keep unwanted guests out of your sukkah! (!Disclaimer! Not effective against in-laws). It lets out an ultrasonic signal that humans cannot hear, and it repels flies, wasps, mosquitoes etc. You can effectively and quietly keep all bugs OUT! amazon.com, $18.99 POP UP MESH SCREEN FOOD COVERS Nothing more appetizing than watching a couple of flies take a stroll over your perfectly slow cooked yom tov roast – wouldn’t you agree? But just in case buzzing little insects are not your idea of good seasoning, use these pop up mesh food domes in the sukkah to keep them at bay. So easy to shlep outside there’ll be no complaints – just tuck it under someone’s arm as they leave your kitchen, store them on the side, then pop them open when the time comes. Those pesks will just have to salivate from a distance.   amazon.com, $6 106 | fyimagazineny.com PLUS NE W CHILDR EN MAGAZ 'S IN INCLUD E ED SNAP N’ STRAIN STRAINER This handy little guy takes some of the shvitz away from serving soup to a table full of hungry Yom Tov guests. Separate the veggies quickly from clear soup by snapping this strainer on and pouring the broth straight into a serving tureen. The cooked veggies can then be apportioned to bowls as needed. This also works great for draining pasta. kitzhengizmousa.com, $10 SUBSCRIBE ONLINE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com 107 | fyimagazineny.com
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY  YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  magic helpers  Ingenious products that will make your da...
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW magic helpers Ingenious products that will make your day easier. HOME DELIVERY! UMBRA HANGIT PHOTO DISPLAY Hang this contraption to your sukkah wall for a sharp, eye-catching display that will last year after year. Rotate the contents to suit your whimsy, from family polaroids, to your children’s artwork, to photographs of Ushpizin or Tzaddikim. All this needs is your creative touch! bedbathandbeyond.com, $19.99 ULTRASONIC BUG REPELLER Keep unwanted guests out of your sukkah! (!Disclaimer! Not effective against in-laws). It lets out an ultrasonic signal that humans cannot hear, and it repels flies, wasps, mosquitoes etc. You can effectively and quietly keep all bugs OUT! amazon.com, $18.99 POP UP MESH SCREEN FOOD COVERS Nothing more appetizing than watching a couple of flies take a stroll over your perfectly slow cooked yom tov roast – wouldn’t you agree? But just in case buzzing little insects are not your idea of good seasoning, use these pop up mesh food domes in the sukkah to keep them at bay. So easy to shlep outside there’ll be no complaints – just tuck it under someone’s arm as they leave your kitchen, store them on the side, then pop them open when the time comes. Those pesks will just have to salivate from a distance.   amazon.com, $6 106 | fyimagazineny.com PLUS NE W CHILDR EN MAGAZ 'S IN INCLUD E ED SNAP N’ STRAIN STRAINER This handy little guy takes some of the shvitz away from serving soup to a table full of hungry Yom Tov guests. Separate the veggies quickly from clear soup by snapping this strainer on and pouring the broth straight into a serving tureen. The cooked veggies can then be apportioned to bowls as needed. This also works great for draining pasta. kitzhengizmousa.com, $10 SUBSCRIBE ONLINE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com 107 | fyimagazineny.com
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY  YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  magic helpers  Ingenious products that will make your da...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW For Less C H I C A N D CO N T E M P O R A RY S U K K A H TA B L E D ECO R U N D E R $ 5 0 ! Faux Leather Sharkskin Tablecloth Banana Leaf Napkin Rings save-on-crafts.com, $9.99 (set of 6) Although Sukkos is late this year, and the wind may be howling outside, you can add a warm tropical touch to your Yom Tov table. These embossed leaves have a natural feel. Wired inside to bend easily around a napkin, they add whimsical floral elegance. Chic and current, they are the perfect finish. fabric.com, $10.98/yard Add a cool vibe to your table with this sleek, faux leather material. A large swath of this can be used as an inexpensive and modern tablecloth, or smaller cuts as elegant placesetters. Leaf Petal Taffeta Table Runner cvlinens.com, $5.99 (108” L) Can we talk for a second about how amazing this table runner is? Make a statement with the lively, fun fabric. This season, feathering is in, and the soft textured fabric of the runner is on point in the best way. Popping with rich color, it will brighten up your entire Sukkah. 108 | fyimagazineny.com Large Faux Grass Balls save-on-crafts.com, $31 Bring a splash of greenery into your Sukkah. No, we don’t mean the occasional leaf that flops into your guest’s soup from above. These chic, faux grass balls can be perched on top of a tall vase or a rustic clay pitcher for a warm, natural feel. Diamond Charger Plate elegance4myevent.com, $3 Add a punch of contemporary color to each place-setting with this fun charger. Bejeweled in Swarovski diamond glitz, the pretty fuschia contrasting with the charcoal table cloth will open up and brighten the table, creating a cheerful statement. 109 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  For Less C H I C A N D CO N T E M P O R A RY S U K K A H TA B L E D ECO R U N D E R   5 0 ...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW For Less C H I C A N D CO N T E M P O R A RY S U K K A H TA B L E D ECO R U N D E R $ 5 0 ! Faux Leather Sharkskin Tablecloth Banana Leaf Napkin Rings save-on-crafts.com, $9.99 (set of 6) Although Sukkos is late this year, and the wind may be howling outside, you can add a warm tropical touch to your Yom Tov table. These embossed leaves have a natural feel. Wired inside to bend easily around a napkin, they add whimsical floral elegance. Chic and current, they are the perfect finish. fabric.com, $10.98/yard Add a cool vibe to your table with this sleek, faux leather material. A large swath of this can be used as an inexpensive and modern tablecloth, or smaller cuts as elegant placesetters. Leaf Petal Taffeta Table Runner cvlinens.com, $5.99 (108” L) Can we talk for a second about how amazing this table runner is? Make a statement with the lively, fun fabric. This season, feathering is in, and the soft textured fabric of the runner is on point in the best way. Popping with rich color, it will brighten up your entire Sukkah. 108 | fyimagazineny.com Large Faux Grass Balls save-on-crafts.com, $31 Bring a splash of greenery into your Sukkah. No, we don’t mean the occasional leaf that flops into your guest’s soup from above. These chic, faux grass balls can be perched on top of a tall vase or a rustic clay pitcher for a warm, natural feel. Diamond Charger Plate elegance4myevent.com, $3 Add a punch of contemporary color to each place-setting with this fun charger. Bejeweled in Swarovski diamond glitz, the pretty fuschia contrasting with the charcoal table cloth will open up and brighten the table, creating a cheerful statement. 109 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  For Less C H I C A N D CO N T E M P O R A RY S U K K A H TA B L E D ECO R U N D E R   5 0 ...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW book•review ALSO IN MY TRAVELING CLASSROOM: TOO PERFECT: When Being in Control Gets out of Control WRITTEN BY ALLAN E. MALLINGER, M.D. AND JEANNETTE DEWYZE REVIEW BY MATTIE WISEMAN When you think of a perfectionist, who do you envision? Go ahead, space out for a second. Think about it. Bet you probably didn’t think of yourself. For me, the person that pops into mind is the stereotypical valedictorian. S he’s got it all together, from her outfit all the way up to her 10-year plan. She has my grudging respect, but her presence in my life is like that of a conscience- a little angel popping up on my shoulder, saying “Gosh, Mattie, can’t you get your act together?” But a perfectionist may not feel together at all. Conversely, could you imagine that perfectionism can also manifest itself in the most imperfect of ways? Have you ever kicked yourself, saying “If only I would have done this, I could have prevented that?” Or perhaps you blame yourself for events that are beyond your control. Maybe you feel the need to hide your true self in order to create a likeable social persona. Let me explain myself. Or rather, let the authors explain. According to Too Perfect, the attribute that ties all perfectionists together is the desire to be in control. Living in a world full of unpredictability, they feel an unconscious need to be in control of themselves, other people, their environment, or their life. Often, a perfectionist can suffer from chronic procrastination, lateness, and messiness. I would never consider myself a perfectionist. I would say leaving the house with matching shoes is a great start for me some days (okay, that’s an exaggeration, but…you know). But let me tell you, when it comes to my writing, I can spend hours agonizing over the placement of two words. It took many years to learn to let myself go and allow myself to write in an uninhibited way. Before I finally completed my first novel, I had many files on my computer. Each one contained a few sentences I was laboring over, in an attempt to come up with The Perfect Beginning. One day, I had a notebook on me and began writing in there. No joke – my handwriting is so atrocious that even I have to concentrate to decipher it. Thankfully, since I was unable to constantly edit and critique my chicken scratch, I was able to move forwards. The authors’ point is that being a perfectionist can be paralyzing. Fear, inhibition, rigidity - these attributes prevent a person from living life to the fullest. The book paints a picture of the perfectionist as an obsessive person, miserable and uncomfortable in her own skin, constantly struggling with a world she cannot possibly control or change. I found it all a bit melodramatic and over the top. However, at the same time, there was a lot of value in what was said. I suppose, like parables, the examples of extreme perfectionism help to illustrate points clearly. While most of us are not such perfectionists that we are being eaten up inside and destroying our relationships, this doesn’t mean that these characteristics 110 | fyimagazineny.com don’t exist on some level. We, as Torah Yidden, know logically Who it is that is really in control. However, transferring the theoretical to practical behavior is not all that simple. In that respect, I didn’t find this book all that helpful. It mainly provided insight into the mind of a perfectionist – the Who and the Why. As a practical sort of person, I would have preferred a bit less talk and a lot more “do.” There is one chapter at the end of the book on how to live with and handle the perfectionists in our lives. That was helpful. As a whole, I did find the book a bit heavy-handed. I also did not appreciate its focus on nurture as opposed to nature. The authors seem to believe that all perfectionism stems from a traumatic past or a difficult upbringing. But if you are struggling to understand yourself or a loved one, Too Perfect has valuable insights. fyi J Photos- of inside the beehive. I want students to see what the queen, male drone, and female worker bee look like. are for the worker bee to guard the hive. The cutest is the yellow construction helmets and vests to represent the busy bee workers. J Props- I have a crown, J Observation hive- and a little girl from the audience can be queen. A sword and a helmet This is an actual traveling hive I take with me. People see LIKE MAKING A MODEL AIRPLANE: I bought a starter kit; it had the boxes and frames for a hive. Then I added 3lbs of worker bees, and one queen. With a mentor I shook them into my hive, and said a prayer for their success and survival. what’s•in•my TRAVELING CLASSROOM AMALIA HAAS BEEKEEPER & NATURE EDUCATOR/EDUTAINER WRITTEN BY CHAIA FRISHMAN At the end of the summer, when most of us are thinking of buying pencil cases and notebooks, Amalia Haas is gearing up for a different type of teaching. With degrees in Jewish Education and Music, Amalia has developed many programs that are implemented both, inside and outside the classroom, to connect adults and children with nature. Oh. And she is an organic beekeeper who markets raw honey, especially for Rosh HaShanah. An atypical career for a Jewish mom, even harder to bee-lieve! EDUCATING THE NEIGHBORHOOD: When my husband and I moved our family to Cleveland’s suburbs, I was surprised by how little kids knew about fruits and vegetables. They were shocked when they saw me growing tomatoes, and I wasn’t doing anything fancy. I didn’t realize how disconnected privileged kids could be from the fundamental human knowledge that food doesn’t really come from the supermarket, even if we buy it there. TASTEFULLY DONE: The difference in honey flavors is pretty incredible. Buckwheat honey is dark and distinctive - some say it’s too strong. Apple blossom is light in color and aromatic, and you can smell the apple in the honey itself. Commercial honey sold under the big names has been overheated, overfiltered, and often mixed with cheap additives, which take away its healthy qualities. Honey can even be medicinal. CLASSROOM WITHOUT BORDERS: I ended up creating an educational program that can be done in classrooms, for non-profit groups, or for businesses. One of these 111 | fyimagazineny.com into the hive, but the bees can’t get out. J Musical instruments- I have a guitar and a mountain dulcimer- a folk instrument. I use songs to help kids remember what I taught.  programs, “The Land of Milk and Honey,” teaches participants about the interdependence of plants, people, bees, and other pollinators. Jewish groups are also exposed to Torah sources and commentaries relating to bees. We have to have hakaros hatov to bees. OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS: Beekeepers typically describe themselves in 5-year intervals - a 10, 15, 25 year beekeeper. There is a large skill set which involves understanding bees and the local environment and more. Stings are part of beekeeping, but beekeepers live longer and healthier than the average person, and many people ascribe that in part to stings. They are healthy for almost everyone (most people I speak to think they are allergic to bees, but they are not. Local swelling from bee stings is normal and not dangerous). We should teach our children to be still when bees fly nearby or around them, and to observe bees on flowers without fear. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE, GIVE IT TO A BUSY WOMAN: One year, I gave birth to twins and I was home. Their due date was Pesach Seder night. So they came early and I was home in the spring, when it’s prime time to start a hive. I was tending to these tiny babies and a beehive. I guess I can say I behave like a bee. Honeybees never sleep either. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  book   review  ALSO IN MY TRAVELING CLASSROOM   TOO PERFECT  When Being in Control Gets ou...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW book•review ALSO IN MY TRAVELING CLASSROOM: TOO PERFECT: When Being in Control Gets out of Control WRITTEN BY ALLAN E. MALLINGER, M.D. AND JEANNETTE DEWYZE REVIEW BY MATTIE WISEMAN When you think of a perfectionist, who do you envision? Go ahead, space out for a second. Think about it. Bet you probably didn’t think of yourself. For me, the person that pops into mind is the stereotypical valedictorian. S he’s got it all together, from her outfit all the way up to her 10-year plan. She has my grudging respect, but her presence in my life is like that of a conscience- a little angel popping up on my shoulder, saying “Gosh, Mattie, can’t you get your act together?” But a perfectionist may not feel together at all. Conversely, could you imagine that perfectionism can also manifest itself in the most imperfect of ways? Have you ever kicked yourself, saying “If only I would have done this, I could have prevented that?” Or perhaps you blame yourself for events that are beyond your control. Maybe you feel the need to hide your true self in order to create a likeable social persona. Let me explain myself. Or rather, let the authors explain. According to Too Perfect, the attribute that ties all perfectionists together is the desire to be in control. Living in a world full of unpredictability, they feel an unconscious need to be in control of themselves, other people, their environment, or their life. Often, a perfectionist can suffer from chronic procrastination, lateness, and messiness. I would never consider myself a perfectionist. I would say leaving the house with matching shoes is a great start for me some days (okay, that’s an exaggeration, but…you know). But let me tell you, when it comes to my writing, I can spend hours agonizing over the placement of two words. It took many years to learn to let myself go and allow myself to write in an uninhibited way. Before I finally completed my first novel, I had many files on my computer. Each one contained a few sentences I was laboring over, in an attempt to come up with The Perfect Beginning. One day, I had a notebook on me and began writing in there. No joke – my handwriting is so atrocious that even I have to concentrate to decipher it. Thankfully, since I was unable to constantly edit and critique my chicken scratch, I was able to move forwards. The authors’ point is that being a perfectionist can be paralyzing. Fear, inhibition, rigidity - these attributes prevent a person from living life to the fullest. The book paints a picture of the perfectionist as an obsessive person, miserable and uncomfortable in her own skin, constantly struggling with a world she cannot possibly control or change. I found it all a bit melodramatic and over the top. However, at the same time, there was a lot of value in what was said. I suppose, like parables, the examples of extreme perfectionism help to illustrate points clearly. While most of us are not such perfectionists that we are being eaten up inside and destroying our relationships, this doesn’t mean that these characteristics 110 | fyimagazineny.com don’t exist on some level. We, as Torah Yidden, know logically Who it is that is really in control. However, transferring the theoretical to practical behavior is not all that simple. In that respect, I didn’t find this book all that helpful. It mainly provided insight into the mind of a perfectionist – the Who and the Why. As a practical sort of person, I would have preferred a bit less talk and a lot more “do.” There is one chapter at the end of the book on how to live with and handle the perfectionists in our lives. That was helpful. As a whole, I did find the book a bit heavy-handed. I also did not appreciate its focus on nurture as opposed to nature. The authors seem to believe that all perfectionism stems from a traumatic past or a difficult upbringing. But if you are struggling to understand yourself or a loved one, Too Perfect has valuable insights. fyi J Photos- of inside the beehive. I want students to see what the queen, male drone, and female worker bee look like. are for the worker bee to guard the hive. The cutest is the yellow construction helmets and vests to represent the busy bee workers. J Props- I have a crown, J Observation hive- and a little girl from the audience can be queen. A sword and a helmet This is an actual traveling hive I take with me. People see LIKE MAKING A MODEL AIRPLANE: I bought a starter kit; it had the boxes and frames for a hive. Then I added 3lbs of worker bees, and one queen. With a mentor I shook them into my hive, and said a prayer for their success and survival. what’s•in•my TRAVELING CLASSROOM AMALIA HAAS BEEKEEPER & NATURE EDUCATOR/EDUTAINER WRITTEN BY CHAIA FRISHMAN At the end of the summer, when most of us are thinking of buying pencil cases and notebooks, Amalia Haas is gearing up for a different type of teaching. With degrees in Jewish Education and Music, Amalia has developed many programs that are implemented both, inside and outside the classroom, to connect adults and children with nature. Oh. And she is an organic beekeeper who markets raw honey, especially for Rosh HaShanah. An atypical career for a Jewish mom, even harder to bee-lieve! EDUCATING THE NEIGHBORHOOD: When my husband and I moved our family to Cleveland’s suburbs, I was surprised by how little kids knew about fruits and vegetables. They were shocked when they saw me growing tomatoes, and I wasn’t doing anything fancy. I didn’t realize how disconnected privileged kids could be from the fundamental human knowledge that food doesn’t really come from the supermarket, even if we buy it there. TASTEFULLY DONE: The difference in honey flavors is pretty incredible. Buckwheat honey is dark and distinctive - some say it’s too strong. Apple blossom is light in color and aromatic, and you can smell the apple in the honey itself. Commercial honey sold under the big names has been overheated, overfiltered, and often mixed with cheap additives, which take away its healthy qualities. Honey can even be medicinal. CLASSROOM WITHOUT BORDERS: I ended up creating an educational program that can be done in classrooms, for non-profit groups, or for businesses. One of these 111 | fyimagazineny.com into the hive, but the bees can’t get out. J Musical instruments- I have a guitar and a mountain dulcimer- a folk instrument. I use songs to help kids remember what I taught.  programs, “The Land of Milk and Honey,” teaches participants about the interdependence of plants, people, bees, and other pollinators. Jewish groups are also exposed to Torah sources and commentaries relating to bees. We have to have hakaros hatov to bees. OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS: Beekeepers typically describe themselves in 5-year intervals - a 10, 15, 25 year beekeeper. There is a large skill set which involves understanding bees and the local environment and more. Stings are part of beekeeping, but beekeepers live longer and healthier than the average person, and many people ascribe that in part to stings. They are healthy for almost everyone (most people I speak to think they are allergic to bees, but they are not. Local swelling from bee stings is normal and not dangerous). We should teach our children to be still when bees fly nearby or around them, and to observe bees on flowers without fear. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE, GIVE IT TO A BUSY WOMAN: One year, I gave birth to twins and I was home. Their due date was Pesach Seder night. So they came early and I was home in the spring, when it’s prime time to start a hive. I was tending to these tiny babies and a beehive. I guess I can say I behave like a bee. Honeybees never sleep either. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  book   review  ALSO IN MY TRAVELING CLASSROOM   TOO PERFECT  When Being in Control Gets ou...
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