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MY FAVOURITE QUOTE:

"i ASKED GOD FOR A BIKE,

BUT I KNOW GOD DOESN'T 

WORK THAT WAY. SO I 

STOLE A BIKE AND ASKED

FOR FORGIVENESS." 

       -AL PACINO 


here's A STORY MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME.

WHEN MY GREAT GRANDMA WAS A LITTLE GIRL, HER MOM HAD BEEN PREPARING TO

GIVE HER AND HER SIBLINGS UP TO THE CHURCH - TO GO TO RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL. 

THE DAY HAD COME, AND THE PEOPLE FROM THE CHURCH WERE ARRIVING ANY MINUTE.

SO, MY GRANDMA'S MOM GRABBED LITTLE GRANDMA AND HER BABY SISTER... AND 

THREW THEM OUT THE WINDOW OF THE KITCHEN INTO THE BUSH OF THE RESERVE.

MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER WATCHED HER OLDER BROTHER AND SISTER GET TAKEN. 

BEFORE HER MOM POKED HER HEAD OUT THE WINDOW, AND TOLD HER TO COME

BACK IN A WEEK WHEN IT WAS SAFE. SO, MY GRANDMOTHER STAYED IN THE BUSH 

TAKING CARE OF HER BABY SISTER AND RETURNED HOME A WEEK LATER.

IT'S FUNNY THE THINGS THAT HELPED TO SHAPE WHERE YOU ARE NOW HUH?

THE CEREMONY OF DEATH,  AND THE DRUM SONGS.

MY FAVOURITE. THEY TOUCH MY HEART,

AND BRING ME TO TEARS. I'VE BEEN

TO MORE FUNERALS THAN WEDDINGS.

I'VE BEEN TO MORE FUNERALS IN A 

YEAR THAN I'VE BEEN TO BIRTHDAYS. 

YOU THINK AFTER BEING SURROUNDED

BY DEATH ALL MY LIFE WOULD PRE-

PARE ME FOR THE INEVITABLE. 

IT DOESN'T.

RIP UNCLE B

i USED TO PICK SWEET GRASS IN THE PLAINS.

SURROUNDING OUR RESERVATION,

i USED TO HATE THE WORMS.

BUT WASN'T IT WORTH IT? GAINING 

THAT EXPERIENCE BEING IN THE 

FRESH FIELDS. SPENDING TIME WITH 

MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER?

SHE HAD NOTHING MATERIAL TO GIVE,

SO SHE GAVE HER KNOWLEDGE.

I remember waiting in the superstore parking lot for hours with mom, Margo 

and Anthony before he called and yet again let us down. His lame false promise

I had become accustom to hearing "Next time for sure, I promise."

He taught me a lot of things my dad:
1. Don't get your hopes up, you're just setting yourself up to be let down.
2. Promises can always be broken.
3. The only people you need are your siblings and your mom.
4. Just because someone says they love you doesn't mean they do.

A PIECE FROM MY FAVOURITE POEM:

mAYA ANGELOU - 1978

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

There are aspects of myself that I know well. I'm loud, sometimes an ass,

friendly, I'm fiercely loyal, I'm fierce just in general, depressed but good at

acting happy, anxious but good at forcing myself to do what I don't want to do.

Everyone has things they don't know about themselves though, right?

Do I snore at night? Why don't I have my multiplication table memorized yet?

Is this what I want to do with my life? What am I going to eat for lunch?

If I die tomorrow what would the song they play at my funeral be?

Are Krabby Patties really made out of crab? Does everyone actually like kids?

or are they faking cause man I don't.

You think after nearly 20 years of life you'd have a little more to think about 

than the secret formula behind Krabby Patties... Sorry Plankton.

I think at this point it's o.k. to not know everything about ourselves right?

We're young, and have so much more to learn about who we are and the 

world. I'm sure they'll release the Krabby Patty formula one day.


My name is Angelina Maria Gutierrez-Rain.

I'm the second oldest of 8. I'm 19, turning 20 in August. 

I'm a Leo. ♌

I'm Native & LatinA. 

nATIVE FIRST BECAUSE i WAS RAISED BY MY NATIVE MAMA.

LA FAMILIA PRIMERO.

i USED TO DO ART AND HAVE A FEW AWARDS FOR THAT.