SEPTEMBER 2016 LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME: MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know... PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER’S TIPS FOR A BETTER SCHOOL YEAR PREP AHEAD! New Delicious Yom Tov Recipes Gorgeous Outfits for Yom Tov REAL LIFE: AN UNEXPECTED CHALLENGE BEFALLS NEWLYWEDS WHAT DOES YOUR HANDWRITING SAY ABOUT YOU? BACK TO SCHOOL ITEMS THAT GIVE BACK INSIGHTS ON VISION RELATED LEARNING PROBLEMS 16 WAYS TO STAY IN VACATION MODE US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99
SEPTEMBER 2016  LOOK GREAT IN LESS TIME   MINUTE MORNING MAKEOVER A Jewish Lifestyle in the Know...  PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZE...
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART & MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor PHOTOGRAPHY Shevy Gross @shevygphotography COVER PHOTO: Chani Friedman chanifriedmanphotography.com MANAGING EDITOR Darlene Fedele ADVERTISING judy@fyimagazineny.com PHONE: 718.412.2442 WEBSITE: www.fyimagazineny.com E-MAIL: ads@fyimagazineny.com AD DEADLINES October Issue: September 30th FUNCTIONAL B E A U T I F U L Published by FYI Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. FYI Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. 732.367.7515 205 CEDAR BRIDGE AVE | LAKEWOOD, NJ SALES@ICONPLUMBING.COM WWW.ICONPLUMBING.COM follow us @streiferwigs
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART   MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor PHOTOGRAPHY Sh...
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART & MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor PHOTOGRAPHY Shevy Gross @shevygphotography COVER PHOTO: Chani Friedman chanifriedmanphotography.com MANAGING EDITOR Darlene Fedele ADVERTISING judy@fyimagazineny.com PHONE: 718.412.2442 WEBSITE: www.fyimagazineny.com E-MAIL: ads@fyimagazineny.com AD DEADLINES October Issue: September 30th FUNCTIONAL B E A U T I F U L Published by FYI Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. FYI Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. 732.367.7515 205 CEDAR BRIDGE AVE | LAKEWOOD, NJ SALES@ICONPLUMBING.COM WWW.ICONPLUMBING.COM follow us @streiferwigs
EDITOR Yitty Denciger ART   MARKETING Tzivia Cohen Miriam Reifman 14minds.com COPY EDITOR Lieba Bard-Wigdor PHOTOGRAPHY Sh...
90 98 SEPTEMBER 2016 CONTENTS 06 | We Hear You 08 | Our Finds 10 | Your Voice #JoinTheDiscussion What is your ultimate goal in life? 99 | What's in my...? Therapy Room with Dr. Rachel Lowinger Love Your Life 25 | HOW THEY DID IT The Aussie Gourmet, Naomi Nachman 28 | REAL LIFE An unexpected challenge befalls newlyweds - a truly inspirational journey 33 | FIT FOR FALL Get your fitness routine on track. 35 | IN SESSION Beauty Guide 13 | DIY Chalkboard BackPack Holder Help me help my student 18 | MAKEUP MAVEN The 7 Minute Makeup Routine 21 | PREP AHEAD Gorgeous Yom Tov Outfits 56 | ALTERNATIVE SCHOOLING Why more families are homeschooling. 64 | THE ART OF GRAPHOLOGY What does your handwriting say about you? 70 | INSIGHTS ON LEARNING PROBLEMS How vision problems can cause learning disabitlities. 38 | FAMILY LIFE Bonding around Yom Tov Season 15 | MAKEOVER REVEAL Dining Room Featured Since 1848, the quality of Herzog Wines has 77 | PREP AHEAD! been appreciated by royalty as well as those 78 | Butternut Squash Soup 41 | TAKE A BREAK 80 | Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis 45 | POSITIVE PARENTING Why you need to stop arguing in front of your kids 47 | 5 WAYS TO Foster a Smoother Morning Routine 51 | HOUSEHOLD HACKS 27 Truly Extraordinary Uses For Household Staples You Already Own GENERATIONS IN EVERY GLASS Sharpen Your Appetite Get A Handle On It 16 Ways to Stay In Vacation Mode 9 who aspire to it. Located in its state-of-the-art winery in Oxnard, California, the Herzog family produces a wide range of wines combining Old 82 | Duchesse Potatoes World value and New World technology. These 84 | Sushi Chicken wines have made Herzog Wine Cellars the most 86 | ALL THINGS KITCHEN award-winning kosher winery in the world. Pots & Pans You Gotta Know 89 | BACK TO SCHOOL Items that give back 93 | ASK THE ORGANIZER Organizing Tips for a better 95 | ON OUR BOOKSHELF The Resilience Factor 96 | FOR LESS 28 Cool Back to School Items school year 98 | PRODUCT REVIEWS School Bags THE MOST AWARD-WINNING KOSHER WINERY IN THE WORLD
90  98  SEPTEMBER 2016  CONTENTS 06    We  Hear You  08    Our  Finds  10    Your  Voice   JoinTheDiscussion What is your ...
90 98 SEPTEMBER 2016 CONTENTS 06 | We Hear You 08 | Our Finds 10 | Your Voice #JoinTheDiscussion What is your ultimate goal in life? 99 | What's in my...? Therapy Room with Dr. Rachel Lowinger Love Your Life 25 | HOW THEY DID IT The Aussie Gourmet, Naomi Nachman 28 | REAL LIFE An unexpected challenge befalls newlyweds - a truly inspirational journey 33 | FIT FOR FALL Get your fitness routine on track. 35 | IN SESSION Beauty Guide 13 | DIY Chalkboard BackPack Holder Help me help my student 18 | MAKEUP MAVEN The 7 Minute Makeup Routine 21 | PREP AHEAD Gorgeous Yom Tov Outfits 56 | ALTERNATIVE SCHOOLING Why more families are homeschooling. 64 | THE ART OF GRAPHOLOGY What does your handwriting say about you? 70 | INSIGHTS ON LEARNING PROBLEMS How vision problems can cause learning disabitlities. 38 | FAMILY LIFE Bonding around Yom Tov Season 15 | MAKEOVER REVEAL Dining Room Featured Since 1848, the quality of Herzog Wines has 77 | PREP AHEAD! been appreciated by royalty as well as those 78 | Butternut Squash Soup 41 | TAKE A BREAK 80 | Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis 45 | POSITIVE PARENTING Why you need to stop arguing in front of your kids 47 | 5 WAYS TO Foster a Smoother Morning Routine 51 | HOUSEHOLD HACKS 27 Truly Extraordinary Uses For Household Staples You Already Own GENERATIONS IN EVERY GLASS Sharpen Your Appetite Get A Handle On It 16 Ways to Stay In Vacation Mode 9 who aspire to it. Located in its state-of-the-art winery in Oxnard, California, the Herzog family produces a wide range of wines combining Old 82 | Duchesse Potatoes World value and New World technology. These 84 | Sushi Chicken wines have made Herzog Wine Cellars the most 86 | ALL THINGS KITCHEN award-winning kosher winery in the world. Pots & Pans You Gotta Know 89 | BACK TO SCHOOL Items that give back 93 | ASK THE ORGANIZER Organizing Tips for a better 95 | ON OUR BOOKSHELF The Resilience Factor 96 | FOR LESS 28 Cool Back to School Items school year 98 | PRODUCT REVIEWS School Bags THE MOST AWARD-WINNING KOSHER WINERY IN THE WORLD
90  98  SEPTEMBER 2016  CONTENTS 06    We  Hear You  08    Our  Finds  10    Your  Voice   JoinTheDiscussion What is your ...
we you! I AUGUST 2016 am writing in response to your extremely one-sided article on free range parenting. I was shocked to read what was written there, and to feel the incredibly biased tones come through the article! range and hover parenting) I can vouch for the fact that neither are good methods. Children under a hover parent feel choked, but even worse is the child that goes wherever and does whatever. It is utterly terrifying for a child. I’ll give you one example: when I was seven, I was in a park with another friend and a creepy man came over and tried to get us to come with him. Later, we heard that a pedophile had been stalking the woods in the park. Yes, scary things do happen. There was a sniper who one day shot at children running around the streets in a town I lived in; there was a high school attack only a few blocks away from me in another location. The list goes on... Our frum world is so blessedly naive. But there are many, many sick, cruel, angry, hurting, or psychopathic human beings walking the sidewalks. I went to public school with many of them, and am more aware than most. Jewish parents needs to know this, and if it’s a choice between hover or free-range, choose hover. Better yet, be normal. Give safety rules and keep your kids close, but not too close. Let them live. Allow me to make some points: • No type of parenting need be taken to extremes. Children can develop confidently even with boundaries and safety measures in place that are appropriate for their ages. Growing up in a home that was, at different points of my life, both extremes (free- • As for leaving children in a locked car, this is unbelievably dangerous, not only because a person with the right tools could easily open the door and drive away with precious cargo, but also because if the car is turned OFF, children can die from the rising heat in the car; and if ON, an adventur- really enjoyed skimming through the August issue this morning between cooking spurts. I am a huge fan of the Five Love Languages series and concept. A Jewish Lifestyle In the Know In fact, the book on marriage really New C o ASK T ORGANIZHE ER ALLERGY ETIQUETTE Should your child be excluded from a party? BRING THE INDOORS OUTSIDE! transformed my marriage and I highly lumn ! recommend it. You can also do the tests online for free to learn which Break Up with Boring! love language is yours, your spouse's, and your child's. I did clip and save EXCITING & DELICIOUS SANDWICHES the tests, photocopied them, and did them with my children. The results were eye-opening and have helped Create the perfect outdoor gathering space... me show love to them in a way that is VACATION PITFALLS AND HOW TO PLAN FOR THEM FASHION FINDS UNDER $100 meaningful to them. US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99 Sarah HOW HER NEWBORN BABY PROPELLED CHANGES IN HER HEART & FAMILY A story of hope and inspiration LET OUR CHILDREN GO “What is a ‘free range’ parent? It sounds like some kind of chicken!” That statement basically sums up the responses I received when I asked people for their views on free range parenting. Indeed, the concepts are connected. You know how free range chickens are left uncaged and to their own devices? Free range parents believe that children will do best when they are allowed to experience life without constant parental supervision and control. WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER 74 | fyimagazineny.com 75 | fyimagazineny.com I ous young child could decide to play with the gas pedals. As the wife of a Chaverim member, I know my husband has saved the lives of children whose parents have done these things. And yes, these parents are foolish and naive, risking their children’s lives.   • I do not consider it normal for a six-year old to take a three-year old on a walk down several city blocks, as we see often. The minds of children are cognitively different from adults and often times, more distracted, forgetful, or simply too busy absorbing and sorting the constant information feed they are bombarded with. If, chas v’shalom, an emergency came up, such as the toddler dashing into the street, a stranger coming over, or even a bike crashing into the child, do you really expect the child’s response to be the same as an adult’s? Could a child save herself and/or a sibling if the situation called for split-second decision making? And would you want the child to live with the guilt of not being able to save his sibling if something actually did happen? These scenarios happen every day, and woe to the parent that puts a child in such a traumatic place! • Children feel safe with rules. They need to know boundaries. Here’s a case in point: When my daughter was young, we used to work in a group home with a huge flight of stairs, and I used to put up a baby gate so that she couldn’t go too high. When she finally mastered the stairs and I trusted her not to fall, she begged me to put the gate back up, because emotionally she wasn’t ready to to trust herself; she had to grow into the position. She felt safe with rules. Now she handles those steps perfectly fine, because she grew into them at a time that was age-appropriate. In closing, I just wanted to say that perhaps I would doubt my parenting approach had it not been confirmed by one of the leading tzidkaniyos of our generation. Both the wife of a well-respected dayan and the daughter of world-renowned Rebbe, she insists that it is the chiyuv of a parent to know where your children are and what is happening to them each minute of the day. Due to her position, she hears so many terrible stories of what happens to children when parents aren’t looking, and always, always warns parents to keep their children near, but empower them with confidence, even under a watchful eye. Her children are the most confident, happy people I have ever seen. It can be done. It just takes binah yeseirah. The good news, Baruch Hashem, is that we Jewish women were given this in abundance. Use it, gals, and let’s see our kids blossom in the right way. A Reader
we  you   I  AUGUST 2016  am writing in response to your extremely one-sided article on free range parenting. I was shocke...
we you! I AUGUST 2016 am writing in response to your extremely one-sided article on free range parenting. I was shocked to read what was written there, and to feel the incredibly biased tones come through the article! range and hover parenting) I can vouch for the fact that neither are good methods. Children under a hover parent feel choked, but even worse is the child that goes wherever and does whatever. It is utterly terrifying for a child. I’ll give you one example: when I was seven, I was in a park with another friend and a creepy man came over and tried to get us to come with him. Later, we heard that a pedophile had been stalking the woods in the park. Yes, scary things do happen. There was a sniper who one day shot at children running around the streets in a town I lived in; there was a high school attack only a few blocks away from me in another location. The list goes on... Our frum world is so blessedly naive. But there are many, many sick, cruel, angry, hurting, or psychopathic human beings walking the sidewalks. I went to public school with many of them, and am more aware than most. Jewish parents needs to know this, and if it’s a choice between hover or free-range, choose hover. Better yet, be normal. Give safety rules and keep your kids close, but not too close. Let them live. Allow me to make some points: • No type of parenting need be taken to extremes. Children can develop confidently even with boundaries and safety measures in place that are appropriate for their ages. Growing up in a home that was, at different points of my life, both extremes (free- • As for leaving children in a locked car, this is unbelievably dangerous, not only because a person with the right tools could easily open the door and drive away with precious cargo, but also because if the car is turned OFF, children can die from the rising heat in the car; and if ON, an adventur- really enjoyed skimming through the August issue this morning between cooking spurts. I am a huge fan of the Five Love Languages series and concept. A Jewish Lifestyle In the Know In fact, the book on marriage really New C o ASK T ORGANIZHE ER ALLERGY ETIQUETTE Should your child be excluded from a party? BRING THE INDOORS OUTSIDE! transformed my marriage and I highly lumn ! recommend it. You can also do the tests online for free to learn which Break Up with Boring! love language is yours, your spouse's, and your child's. I did clip and save EXCITING & DELICIOUS SANDWICHES the tests, photocopied them, and did them with my children. The results were eye-opening and have helped Create the perfect outdoor gathering space... me show love to them in a way that is VACATION PITFALLS AND HOW TO PLAN FOR THEM FASHION FINDS UNDER $100 meaningful to them. US: $4.99 CAN: $5.99 Sarah HOW HER NEWBORN BABY PROPELLED CHANGES IN HER HEART & FAMILY A story of hope and inspiration LET OUR CHILDREN GO “What is a ‘free range’ parent? It sounds like some kind of chicken!” That statement basically sums up the responses I received when I asked people for their views on free range parenting. Indeed, the concepts are connected. You know how free range chickens are left uncaged and to their own devices? Free range parents believe that children will do best when they are allowed to experience life without constant parental supervision and control. WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER 74 | fyimagazineny.com 75 | fyimagazineny.com I ous young child could decide to play with the gas pedals. As the wife of a Chaverim member, I know my husband has saved the lives of children whose parents have done these things. And yes, these parents are foolish and naive, risking their children’s lives.   • I do not consider it normal for a six-year old to take a three-year old on a walk down several city blocks, as we see often. The minds of children are cognitively different from adults and often times, more distracted, forgetful, or simply too busy absorbing and sorting the constant information feed they are bombarded with. If, chas v’shalom, an emergency came up, such as the toddler dashing into the street, a stranger coming over, or even a bike crashing into the child, do you really expect the child’s response to be the same as an adult’s? Could a child save herself and/or a sibling if the situation called for split-second decision making? And would you want the child to live with the guilt of not being able to save his sibling if something actually did happen? These scenarios happen every day, and woe to the parent that puts a child in such a traumatic place! • Children feel safe with rules. They need to know boundaries. Here’s a case in point: When my daughter was young, we used to work in a group home with a huge flight of stairs, and I used to put up a baby gate so that she couldn’t go too high. When she finally mastered the stairs and I trusted her not to fall, she begged me to put the gate back up, because emotionally she wasn’t ready to to trust herself; she had to grow into the position. She felt safe with rules. Now she handles those steps perfectly fine, because she grew into them at a time that was age-appropriate. In closing, I just wanted to say that perhaps I would doubt my parenting approach had it not been confirmed by one of the leading tzidkaniyos of our generation. Both the wife of a well-respected dayan and the daughter of world-renowned Rebbe, she insists that it is the chiyuv of a parent to know where your children are and what is happening to them each minute of the day. Due to her position, she hears so many terrible stories of what happens to children when parents aren’t looking, and always, always warns parents to keep their children near, but empower them with confidence, even under a watchful eye. Her children are the most confident, happy people I have ever seen. It can be done. It just takes binah yeseirah. The good news, Baruch Hashem, is that we Jewish women were given this in abundance. Use it, gals, and let’s see our kids blossom in the right way. A Reader
we  you   I  AUGUST 2016  am writing in response to your extremely one-sided article on free range parenting. I was shocke...
our WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now! WHAT TO BUY @modspotters Shevy Klajnfeld & Esti Meisner A Modern Twist on Modesty @peaslovencarrots Danielle Renov #MyDayPlanner; Daily Planner for the Jewish Woman Recipe developer,🍴menu & restaurant consultant,🍋food blogger, livin life in Jerusalem shop.shaatraclub.com, $36 #mydayplanner is a detailed, every day and stylish tool for the Jewish woman which helps plan, organize and keep track of everything in your busy life. Join the party on Instagram! @shaatraclub WHERE TO BUY ...school shoes that don't break the bank! 6pm.com Venettini Kids Savor, $39.99 nordstromrack.com Florsheim Kearny Jr. Suede Oxford, $29.97 gilt.com Atlanta Mocassin Moc Desert Boot, $48 @chanifriedmanphotography Chanie Friedman Child portrait photographer serving Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island
our  WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now   WHAT TO BUY   modspotters Shevy Klajnfeld   Esti Meisner A Modern Twis...
our WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now! WHAT TO BUY @modspotters Shevy Klajnfeld & Esti Meisner A Modern Twist on Modesty @peaslovencarrots Danielle Renov #MyDayPlanner; Daily Planner for the Jewish Woman Recipe developer,🍴menu & restaurant consultant,🍋food blogger, livin life in Jerusalem shop.shaatraclub.com, $36 #mydayplanner is a detailed, every day and stylish tool for the Jewish woman which helps plan, organize and keep track of everything in your busy life. Join the party on Instagram! @shaatraclub WHERE TO BUY ...school shoes that don't break the bank! 6pm.com Venettini Kids Savor, $39.99 nordstromrack.com Florsheim Kearny Jr. Suede Oxford, $29.97 gilt.com Atlanta Mocassin Moc Desert Boot, $48 @chanifriedmanphotography Chanie Friedman Child portrait photographer serving Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island
our  WHO TO FOLLOW Instagram accounts we love now   WHAT TO BUY   modspotters Shevy Klajnfeld   Esti Meisner A Modern Twis...
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY your HOME DELIVERY! #JoinTheDiscussion WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE?  “A bit cliche maybe, but to die with no regrets. Feeling that I accomplished all I was meant to accomplish and knowing that I leave behind a legacy I can be  “I am a certified divorce coach and feel like it is my calling and obligation in life to help women going through or contemplating divorce, since I survived my own complex and unhealthy marriage and divorce. B”H with tremendous BS”D I emerged a stronger and successful woman and rebuilt my life, and I am even happily proud of.” Chaya Teitelbaum remarried.” Pearl   Flax “To prove to myself that it is possible to be married and happy.” Rivky Adler “To give my kids a childhood that they won't need to recover from.” Avigail B.  “To instill in my kids the true values of living a beautiful life - a love for yiddishkeit and finding the positive in every situation!” Chany Gross “To make a dent in the world. Make some kind of change. Even if it's something small like spreading kindness, I will never give up that dream of making the world a more awesome  “Right now, it's to go to grad school to complete my degree.” Brucha Biller  NE W !  “To raise my children to be confident, loving and selfsufficient adults” Micky Klien CHILDR MAGAZ EN'S INE !  “Serenity in all aspects of my life is my ultimate goal.” Ruchy Lebowitz  “To keep building a loving relationship with myself.” Chany Katz Question for next month: place.” Mindy Skurowitz  “To be a good mother.” Anonymous What is your biggest accomplishment? Text your answer to (516)331.1885 SUBSCRIBE ONLINE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY  your  HOME DELIVERY    JoinTheDiscussion  WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE         A b...
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY your HOME DELIVERY! #JoinTheDiscussion WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE?  “A bit cliche maybe, but to die with no regrets. Feeling that I accomplished all I was meant to accomplish and knowing that I leave behind a legacy I can be  “I am a certified divorce coach and feel like it is my calling and obligation in life to help women going through or contemplating divorce, since I survived my own complex and unhealthy marriage and divorce. B”H with tremendous BS”D I emerged a stronger and successful woman and rebuilt my life, and I am even happily proud of.” Chaya Teitelbaum remarried.” Pearl   Flax “To prove to myself that it is possible to be married and happy.” Rivky Adler “To give my kids a childhood that they won't need to recover from.” Avigail B.  “To instill in my kids the true values of living a beautiful life - a love for yiddishkeit and finding the positive in every situation!” Chany Gross “To make a dent in the world. Make some kind of change. Even if it's something small like spreading kindness, I will never give up that dream of making the world a more awesome  “Right now, it's to go to grad school to complete my degree.” Brucha Biller  NE W !  “To raise my children to be confident, loving and selfsufficient adults” Micky Klien CHILDR MAGAZ EN'S INE !  “Serenity in all aspects of my life is my ultimate goal.” Ruchy Lebowitz  “To keep building a loving relationship with myself.” Chany Katz Question for next month: place.” Mindy Skurowitz  “To be a good mother.” Anonymous What is your biggest accomplishment? Text your answer to (516)331.1885 SUBSCRIBE ONLINE NOW & SAVE $1O OFF OUR FULL PRICE!* ONLY $50 A YEAR Visit www.fyimagazineny.com
ENJOY THE CONVENIENCE OF MONTHLY  your  HOME DELIVERY    JoinTheDiscussion  WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE         A b...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion  |   Decor  | DIY editor’s note S chool is back! After a relaxing summer vacation of long days, dirty little faces, and lots of water activities, most of us are yearning for some routine. While the kids may not be so happy, all of us moms are definitely excited to send our kids back to school. Well...not all moms are sending their kids to school. Some are homeschooling and couldn’t be happier about their decision to do so. Can you imagine what that entails? Do you think homeschooling may work for you? Read more about the ins and outs of homeschooling, and why it may be a better option for some children and families. As our children learn to write, their handwriting will become their own. A person's handwriting is as unique as their personality, which makes it tempting to connect the two. Graphology has always interested me. As a teenager, I actually took a few book out of the library to read up on it. Although I am no expert, I can tell you one thing: it is fascinating. It's amazing how each Yitty suggests: person’s personality and traits come through in their handwriting. Even if we were all to write the same thing, we would each write it very differently. You can learn more about it in our in depth article on the subject. I know we're only at the beginning of the school year, but before you know it, Yom Tov will be here! No need to fret though. We want you to take care of you so that when Yom Tov comes, you won’t be harried and stressed, and most importantly, you will feel great about yourself. We have gorgeous outfits created by fashion stylist Estee Stern, that you can now make your own before the rush sets in. We also have amazing new recipes made just for you that can be prepped in advance and reheated as if made fresh on Yom Tov. See? You're already on your way to a calmer Yom Tov season. editor@fyimagazineny.com FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK! @FYIMAGAZINE 12 | fyimagazineny.com “This is my personal favorite. Simple and elegant does it. Perfect for Shul and special occasions.” page 22 “Just as delicious as it looks! A breed between chicken and sushi, and can be prepped in advance.” page 84 “This fun chalkboard doubles as a designated place for schoolbags, which will help streamline your daily routine.” page 13 “I can see this becoming a household staple especially for shabbos.” page 92 id y BACK-TO-SCHOOL CHALKBOARD BACKPACK HOLDER This is perfect if you're looking for a designated place to hang your kids’ backpacks (other than the floor or kitchen chairs). It’s going to make things much less fussy when school time rolls around. Your morning and evening routine will be that much smoother!
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion          Decor        DIY  editor   s note S  chool is back  After a relaxing summer vacation of ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion  |   Decor  | DIY editor’s note S chool is back! After a relaxing summer vacation of long days, dirty little faces, and lots of water activities, most of us are yearning for some routine. While the kids may not be so happy, all of us moms are definitely excited to send our kids back to school. Well...not all moms are sending their kids to school. Some are homeschooling and couldn’t be happier about their decision to do so. Can you imagine what that entails? Do you think homeschooling may work for you? Read more about the ins and outs of homeschooling, and why it may be a better option for some children and families. As our children learn to write, their handwriting will become their own. A person's handwriting is as unique as their personality, which makes it tempting to connect the two. Graphology has always interested me. As a teenager, I actually took a few book out of the library to read up on it. Although I am no expert, I can tell you one thing: it is fascinating. It's amazing how each Yitty suggests: person’s personality and traits come through in their handwriting. Even if we were all to write the same thing, we would each write it very differently. You can learn more about it in our in depth article on the subject. I know we're only at the beginning of the school year, but before you know it, Yom Tov will be here! No need to fret though. We want you to take care of you so that when Yom Tov comes, you won’t be harried and stressed, and most importantly, you will feel great about yourself. We have gorgeous outfits created by fashion stylist Estee Stern, that you can now make your own before the rush sets in. We also have amazing new recipes made just for you that can be prepped in advance and reheated as if made fresh on Yom Tov. See? You're already on your way to a calmer Yom Tov season. editor@fyimagazineny.com FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK! @FYIMAGAZINE 12 | fyimagazineny.com “This is my personal favorite. Simple and elegant does it. Perfect for Shul and special occasions.” page 22 “Just as delicious as it looks! A breed between chicken and sushi, and can be prepped in advance.” page 84 “This fun chalkboard doubles as a designated place for schoolbags, which will help streamline your daily routine.” page 13 “I can see this becoming a household staple especially for shabbos.” page 92 id y BACK-TO-SCHOOL CHALKBOARD BACKPACK HOLDER This is perfect if you're looking for a designated place to hang your kids’ backpacks (other than the floor or kitchen chairs). It’s going to make things much less fussy when school time rolls around. Your morning and evening routine will be that much smoother!
THE BEAUTY GUIDE Fashion          Decor        DIY  editor   s note S  chool is back  After a relaxing summer vacation of ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE What you’ll need: 1. 2. 3. • 1" by 6" wood • Hooks • Chalkboard Contact Paper • Screwdriver • Gorilla Glue (or any superstrong glue) • Chalk Paint Ask the hardware store personnel to cut the wood panels on an angle at your desired length. (We made the frame 1 1/2' by 3') Paint 3 coats on the wood panels in your desired color. We chose to use chalk paint as it has matte effect and matches this project nicely. Be sure to paint the sides as well. Allow to dry. While the paint is drying, clean the wall • Drill • Paint brush area you will be using. 4. Next, apply the contact paper directly onto the wall. If there are bubbles, smooth them out. 5. Using a drill, screw the hooks onto the bottom wood panel in their desired location. 6. Place the wood panels as a frame around the chalkboard using super-strong glue. You can also screw them into place, if you choose. WRITTEN BY MICKY KLIEN DINING ROOM MAKEOVER The beauty in renovating your home is that you can wipe the canvas clean and create a whole new atmosphere without doing major construction. Our beforeand-after dining room project was initiated to create a larger dining room for the family. We also wanted to have the room flow into the kitchen for easy access. Originally the family room, it made the most sense for this space to be the new dining area since it was the largest and closest room to the kitchen. The main focus was to create a dining room that could easily be closed off when not in use and readily available for Shabbos, Yom Tov, and entertaining. N 14 | fyimagazineny.com 15 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  What you   ll need   1.   2.   3.        1  by 6  wood       Hooks       Chalkboard Co...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE What you’ll need: 1. 2. 3. • 1" by 6" wood • Hooks • Chalkboard Contact Paper • Screwdriver • Gorilla Glue (or any superstrong glue) • Chalk Paint Ask the hardware store personnel to cut the wood panels on an angle at your desired length. (We made the frame 1 1/2' by 3') Paint 3 coats on the wood panels in your desired color. We chose to use chalk paint as it has matte effect and matches this project nicely. Be sure to paint the sides as well. Allow to dry. While the paint is drying, clean the wall • Drill • Paint brush area you will be using. 4. Next, apply the contact paper directly onto the wall. If there are bubbles, smooth them out. 5. Using a drill, screw the hooks onto the bottom wood panel in their desired location. 6. Place the wood panels as a frame around the chalkboard using super-strong glue. You can also screw them into place, if you choose. WRITTEN BY MICKY KLIEN DINING ROOM MAKEOVER The beauty in renovating your home is that you can wipe the canvas clean and create a whole new atmosphere without doing major construction. Our beforeand-after dining room project was initiated to create a larger dining room for the family. We also wanted to have the room flow into the kitchen for easy access. Originally the family room, it made the most sense for this space to be the new dining area since it was the largest and closest room to the kitchen. The main focus was to create a dining room that could easily be closed off when not in use and readily available for Shabbos, Yom Tov, and entertaining. N 14 | fyimagazineny.com 15 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  What you   ll need   1.   2.   3.        1  by 6  wood       Hooks       Chalkboard Co...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE BEFORE AFTER T o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had a fireplace, our vision was to make that the focal point for the dining room. First, we refaced the fireplace by chiseling off the stone, and framed in the surrounding wall with drywall to make a smooth surface. Then we created a frame around the opening of the fireplace using noncombustible porcelain tile. Finally, we chose a stunning metallic silver swirl finish that set the tone for a striking contrast against the black focal wall. Next, we gutted the two storage closets that stood on either side of the focal wall to create space for a washing station and built-in china cabinet. The idea was to have no bulky furniture in the room, leaving open space to add more tables for entertaining. Since our goal was to create a light and airy feel for the room, we mirrored the back and sides of the cabinet and used glass doors and shelves. This created the look of dynamic, floating shelves within the china cabinet. To maintain that light and airy feel, and prevent any feelings of being closed in or confined, we installed clear glass French doors. These served a dual purpose. One was to close off the room when not 16 | fyimagazineny.com in use, and the other was to add texture to the black and white dining room. These doors stood in two walls, one leading to the kitchen and the other to the main house. Brushed-nickel handles were the perfect unobtrusive accent to the doors and room as a whole. We then focused on the flooring. To complement the black focal wall, we chose to install glossy, black hardwood floors. We used a custom-colored semi-gloss finish that was a mix of brown, gray, and black, to create a dramatic, deep rich color. We wanted to protect the dining room floor from heavy chair traffic and stop potential scratching, so the practical solution was an area rug. The beautiful black rug we selected to place under the table provided a buffer between the chairs and floors, plus added more elements of texture to our design. The rug is constructed from individual carpet squares to make it easier to switch out if damaged or stained. Lighting was a very important consideration for this room. We wanted something that was different, that had a little glam, and was able to make just the right statement while perfectly illuminating this space. We chose a gorgeous rectangle chandelier to hang in the center of the room. This unique, metal string-wrapped item was filled with spectacular hanging crystals; it was love at first sight. Installed above the table, it made the perfect complement. We chose to do standard recessed lighting around the perimeter of the room, above the washing station, and in the china cabinet. The room was complete and ready to use. We fulfilled our goal of creating a new atmosphere without major construction. Instead, we changed elements of darkness and shadow into light and warmth. We transformed feelings of being closed in and confined, to the look and feeling of expansion and space. We turned a simple and homey family 17 | fyimagazineny.com room into a seemingly larger and brighter space, combining functionality with a touch of elegance. Through our vision and simplicity, we have given this family a dining room they can now use to celebrate their most memorable and precious moments. fyi Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  BEFORE  AFTER  T  o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE BEFORE AFTER T o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had a fireplace, our vision was to make that the focal point for the dining room. First, we refaced the fireplace by chiseling off the stone, and framed in the surrounding wall with drywall to make a smooth surface. Then we created a frame around the opening of the fireplace using noncombustible porcelain tile. Finally, we chose a stunning metallic silver swirl finish that set the tone for a striking contrast against the black focal wall. Next, we gutted the two storage closets that stood on either side of the focal wall to create space for a washing station and built-in china cabinet. The idea was to have no bulky furniture in the room, leaving open space to add more tables for entertaining. Since our goal was to create a light and airy feel for the room, we mirrored the back and sides of the cabinet and used glass doors and shelves. This created the look of dynamic, floating shelves within the china cabinet. To maintain that light and airy feel, and prevent any feelings of being closed in or confined, we installed clear glass French doors. These served a dual purpose. One was to close off the room when not 16 | fyimagazineny.com in use, and the other was to add texture to the black and white dining room. These doors stood in two walls, one leading to the kitchen and the other to the main house. Brushed-nickel handles were the perfect unobtrusive accent to the doors and room as a whole. We then focused on the flooring. To complement the black focal wall, we chose to install glossy, black hardwood floors. We used a custom-colored semi-gloss finish that was a mix of brown, gray, and black, to create a dramatic, deep rich color. We wanted to protect the dining room floor from heavy chair traffic and stop potential scratching, so the practical solution was an area rug. The beautiful black rug we selected to place under the table provided a buffer between the chairs and floors, plus added more elements of texture to our design. The rug is constructed from individual carpet squares to make it easier to switch out if damaged or stained. Lighting was a very important consideration for this room. We wanted something that was different, that had a little glam, and was able to make just the right statement while perfectly illuminating this space. We chose a gorgeous rectangle chandelier to hang in the center of the room. This unique, metal string-wrapped item was filled with spectacular hanging crystals; it was love at first sight. Installed above the table, it made the perfect complement. We chose to do standard recessed lighting around the perimeter of the room, above the washing station, and in the china cabinet. The room was complete and ready to use. We fulfilled our goal of creating a new atmosphere without major construction. Instead, we changed elements of darkness and shadow into light and warmth. We transformed feelings of being closed in and confined, to the look and feeling of expansion and space. We turned a simple and homey family 17 | fyimagazineny.com room into a seemingly larger and brighter space, combining functionality with a touch of elegance. Through our vision and simplicity, we have given this family a dining room they can now use to celebrate their most memorable and precious moments. fyi Micky Klein is an interior designer and owner of Brin-Klein Design, based out of Miami Beach, Florida. She has residential and commercial clients throughout the US and Canada. Micky strives to meet her clients’ needs through close attention to details. Go to brinkleindesign@gmail.com and follow her on Instagram @brinklein_design for design inspiration and tips.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  BEFORE  AFTER  T  o clear the canvas, we started with the walls. Because the room had ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE u S T E P 1 : FO U N DAT I O N The first step is to apply foundation. In the summer, I go a little bit lighter and apply tinted moisturizer. One of my favorite ways to apply foundation or moisturizer is with a beauty blender, because it gives a lighter finish and allows for a more flawless application. To use the beauty blender, just run it under warm tap water and watch it expand. Squeeze it out a few times until the sponge is damp, but make sure it is not too wet. Then add a few pumps of foundation on the beauty blender and lightly dab it on your face. Just that step alone will make you feel instantly refreshed and more put together. u STEP 2: BRONZER Look Great in Less Time: 7-Minute Makeover Some days, we oversleep and realize that we just do not have the time for our basic 30-minute makeup routine. Then there are some days that we just do not feel like wearing makeup at all. The question is how to look presentable in a hurry. Look no further! I will give you a 7- minute makeup routine that will leave you looking flawless and ready to tackle the day. This look is suitable for work, meetings, college, school, and presentations. WRITTEN BY KAYLAH RAKHAMIM 18 | fyimagazineny.com Now apply a subtle layer of bronzer. In the warmer months, I like to use bronzer lightly dusted on the face, as we normally are not as pale as we are in the winter. My favorite bronzer is Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer. Make sure to bronze underneath your cheeks, forehead, and jawline. Regardless of the season, bronzer is a must in any makeup routine. u S T E P 3 : B R OW S On to our next step: eyebrows! Always make sure to fill in the brows; filling them in ever so slightly frames the face and puts more emphasis on the eyes. A great product to use is Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Brow Wiz. This product is a must for many; I myself don’t leave the house without filling in my brows. 19 | fyimagazineny.com TIP! If you have oily skin, make sure to apply a light powder to your face to set the foundation in place and prevent it from sliding all over your face. For those with drier skin, you can just skip the powder and move on to the next step.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  u  S T E P 1   FO U N DAT I O N The first step is to apply foundation. In the summer, ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE u S T E P 1 : FO U N DAT I O N The first step is to apply foundation. In the summer, I go a little bit lighter and apply tinted moisturizer. One of my favorite ways to apply foundation or moisturizer is with a beauty blender, because it gives a lighter finish and allows for a more flawless application. To use the beauty blender, just run it under warm tap water and watch it expand. Squeeze it out a few times until the sponge is damp, but make sure it is not too wet. Then add a few pumps of foundation on the beauty blender and lightly dab it on your face. Just that step alone will make you feel instantly refreshed and more put together. u STEP 2: BRONZER Look Great in Less Time: 7-Minute Makeover Some days, we oversleep and realize that we just do not have the time for our basic 30-minute makeup routine. Then there are some days that we just do not feel like wearing makeup at all. The question is how to look presentable in a hurry. Look no further! I will give you a 7- minute makeup routine that will leave you looking flawless and ready to tackle the day. This look is suitable for work, meetings, college, school, and presentations. WRITTEN BY KAYLAH RAKHAMIM 18 | fyimagazineny.com Now apply a subtle layer of bronzer. In the warmer months, I like to use bronzer lightly dusted on the face, as we normally are not as pale as we are in the winter. My favorite bronzer is Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer. Make sure to bronze underneath your cheeks, forehead, and jawline. Regardless of the season, bronzer is a must in any makeup routine. u S T E P 3 : B R OW S On to our next step: eyebrows! Always make sure to fill in the brows; filling them in ever so slightly frames the face and puts more emphasis on the eyes. A great product to use is Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Brow Wiz. This product is a must for many; I myself don’t leave the house without filling in my brows. 19 | fyimagazineny.com TIP! If you have oily skin, make sure to apply a light powder to your face to set the foundation in place and prevent it from sliding all over your face. For those with drier skin, you can just skip the powder and move on to the next step.
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  u  S T E P 1   FO U N DAT I O N The first step is to apply foundation. In the summer, ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE PREP AHEAD! Yom Tov Fashion u STEP 4: EYES We are almost done! Now apply mascara to the top and lower lashes. This is quick and easy, but makes the biggest difference. It makes you look more awake and automatically opens up your eyes. Mascara is the little black dress of your makeup stash. A mascara that I love is Maybelline’s Lash Sensational Mascara. u S T E P 5 : B LU S H $54 Last but definitely not least is blush. The perfect blush is M.A.C’s Peachykeen. This pop of color will make you look brighter and more youthful. For an extra bonus, add Lorac Alter Ego Lip Gloss to complete your look. $110 Whatever your occasion, these few simple steps will get you looking your best regardless of your time constraint. The Yomim Tovim are anything but holidays. We women need to think about a million things at once: the dozens of meals we need to cook or book, activities we need to plan to keep our rowdy children entertained, locating our husband’s lost sock, and of course in all that, remembering to take a moment and breathe. The last thing we want you to worry about is what to wear, so our team prepped 6 easy, goto outfits that look polished and poised, just because we love you ladies and want this year to give you the break you deserve! Outfit #1 SUEDE DRESS @Beauti_fullboutique | 201-749-1742 Kaylah Rakhamim is a Brooklyn based makeup artist and beauty blogger. She loves trying out new products and making her clients feel beautiful. For inquiries contact artistakay@gmail.com, check her work out @artistakay. 20 | fyimagazineny.com Nothing says fall more than a burgundy colored dress and fur vest! This dress is sold exclusively in plus sizes by a company Beautiful Boutique who's mission is to change the way plus sized women feel. 21 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  PREP AHEAD   Yom Tov Fashion  u  STEP 4  EYES We are almost done  Now apply mascara to...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE PREP AHEAD! Yom Tov Fashion u STEP 4: EYES We are almost done! Now apply mascara to the top and lower lashes. This is quick and easy, but makes the biggest difference. It makes you look more awake and automatically opens up your eyes. Mascara is the little black dress of your makeup stash. A mascara that I love is Maybelline’s Lash Sensational Mascara. u S T E P 5 : B LU S H $54 Last but definitely not least is blush. The perfect blush is M.A.C’s Peachykeen. This pop of color will make you look brighter and more youthful. For an extra bonus, add Lorac Alter Ego Lip Gloss to complete your look. $110 Whatever your occasion, these few simple steps will get you looking your best regardless of your time constraint. The Yomim Tovim are anything but holidays. We women need to think about a million things at once: the dozens of meals we need to cook or book, activities we need to plan to keep our rowdy children entertained, locating our husband’s lost sock, and of course in all that, remembering to take a moment and breathe. The last thing we want you to worry about is what to wear, so our team prepped 6 easy, goto outfits that look polished and poised, just because we love you ladies and want this year to give you the break you deserve! Outfit #1 SUEDE DRESS @Beauti_fullboutique | 201-749-1742 Kaylah Rakhamim is a Brooklyn based makeup artist and beauty blogger. She loves trying out new products and making her clients feel beautiful. For inquiries contact artistakay@gmail.com, check her work out @artistakay. 20 | fyimagazineny.com Nothing says fall more than a burgundy colored dress and fur vest! This dress is sold exclusively in plus sizes by a company Beautiful Boutique who's mission is to change the way plus sized women feel. 21 | fyimagazineny.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  PREP AHEAD   Yom Tov Fashion  u  STEP 4  EYES We are almost done  Now apply mascara to...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Outfit #3 LATTORI DRESS lattori.com $311 PRINTED CROP BLOUSE romwe.com $30 Here’s a simple but dressy option. This outfit with a black pump and a nice belt will leave you feeling beautiful and comfortable. What more can you ask for? KENNETH EMBELLISHED PENDANT barneyswarehouse.com $300 MARNI EARRINGS stylebop.com SILK SHEER BLOUSE ifchic.com GUCCI EMBELLISHED BELT fashionette.co.uk $170 $59 $390 TULLE MIDI SKIRT nl.boohoo.com Outfit #4 $30 $1,230 You don’t need an excuse to wear tulle anymore! Here it is paired up with a modern abstract blouse, and the prints match perfectly. Want to dress it up even more? Accessories like these will go perfectly with this look. TOM FORD PUMPS mytheresa.com Outfit #2 $45 $24 This versatile dress will take you from summer to fall to winter. It has black and a pop of color, which can easily be worn with black tights or nude stockings. $745 If you want treat yourself to a very expensive shoe, Tom Ford will be a nice addition to any outfit. However, the suede shoe from Outfit #4 would work well here, and is easy on the wallet! 22 | fyimagazineny.com GIANVITO ROSSI VELVET PUMP savannahs.com BLACK FLARED MIDI SKIRT shein.com 23 | fyimagazineny.com SOPHIE SUEDE HEEL prettylittlething.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Outfit  3  LATTORI DRESS lattori.com   311  PRINTED CROP BLOUSE romwe.com   30  Here  ...
THE BEAUTY GUIDE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Outfit #3 LATTORI DRESS lattori.com $311 PRINTED CROP BLOUSE romwe.com $30 Here’s a simple but dressy option. This outfit with a black pump and a nice belt will leave you feeling beautiful and comfortable. What more can you ask for? KENNETH EMBELLISHED PENDANT barneyswarehouse.com $300 MARNI EARRINGS stylebop.com SILK SHEER BLOUSE ifchic.com GUCCI EMBELLISHED BELT fashionette.co.uk $170 $59 $390 TULLE MIDI SKIRT nl.boohoo.com Outfit #4 $30 $1,230 You don’t need an excuse to wear tulle anymore! Here it is paired up with a modern abstract blouse, and the prints match perfectly. Want to dress it up even more? Accessories like these will go perfectly with this look. TOM FORD PUMPS mytheresa.com Outfit #2 $45 $24 This versatile dress will take you from summer to fall to winter. It has black and a pop of color, which can easily be worn with black tights or nude stockings. $745 If you want treat yourself to a very expensive shoe, Tom Ford will be a nice addition to any outfit. However, the suede shoe from Outfit #4 would work well here, and is easy on the wallet! 22 | fyimagazineny.com GIANVITO ROSSI VELVET PUMP savannahs.com BLACK FLARED MIDI SKIRT shein.com 23 | fyimagazineny.com SOPHIE SUEDE HEEL prettylittlething.com
THE BEAUTY GUIDE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Outfit  3  LATTORI DRESS lattori.com   311  PRINTED CROP BLOUSE romwe.com   30  Here  ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Health  |  In Session |  How They Did It Outfit #6 SHIRT DRESS topshop.com If you like a simple clean look, this one’s for you. Wear it with a pair of nice flats or heels to dress it up! You can’t go wrong with accessories like a cool necklace and a dainty pair of earrings. $92 SQUARE BANGLE amazon.com $259 CROPPED BUTTON DOWN stylemoi.nu $20 $19 MARNI HORN EARRINGS lindelepalais.com how they did it A FEW MINUTES WITH NAOMI NACHMAN, $70 THE AUSSIE GOURMET: $50 LASER CUT FLATS zara.com POPLIN MIDI SKIRT zara.com Outfit #5 Why feel stiff and rigid when you can be comfy? This outfit has just the right amount of “cool” and “sass” to carry you through an entire day of festivities. The contemporary earrings by Marni Horn really take this look to the next level! $75 24 | fyimagazineny.com MONACO DROP EARRINGS therealreal.com $219 PRESLI PUMPS donaldjpliner.com What’s better than good food? Good food with a cultural tang! N WRITTEN BY JOSEPH SHERMAN
LOVE YOUR LIFE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Health         In Session      How They Did It  Outfit  6  SHIRT DRESS topshop.com  If y...
LOVE YOUR LIFE THE BEAUTY GUIDE Health  |  In Session |  How They Did It Outfit #6 SHIRT DRESS topshop.com If you like a simple clean look, this one’s for you. Wear it with a pair of nice flats or heels to dress it up! You can’t go wrong with accessories like a cool necklace and a dainty pair of earrings. $92 SQUARE BANGLE amazon.com $259 CROPPED BUTTON DOWN stylemoi.nu $20 $19 MARNI HORN EARRINGS lindelepalais.com how they did it A FEW MINUTES WITH NAOMI NACHMAN, $70 THE AUSSIE GOURMET: $50 LASER CUT FLATS zara.com POPLIN MIDI SKIRT zara.com Outfit #5 Why feel stiff and rigid when you can be comfy? This outfit has just the right amount of “cool” and “sass” to carry you through an entire day of festivities. The contemporary earrings by Marni Horn really take this look to the next level! $75 24 | fyimagazineny.com MONACO DROP EARRINGS therealreal.com $219 PRESLI PUMPS donaldjpliner.com What’s better than good food? Good food with a cultural tang! N WRITTEN BY JOSEPH SHERMAN
LOVE YOUR LIFE  THE BEAUTY GUIDE  Health         In Session      How They Did It  Outfit  6  SHIRT DRESS topshop.com  If y...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE facts. I wanted to be a better Jew. I wanted a better, more observant life than what Sydney had to offer. One friend from Australia joined me. We lived in a basement in Flatbush.   Intending to come for a short visit, Naomi Nachman liked New York so much that she stayed. Combining her passion for gourmet kosher food and business acumen, she built a thriving kosher personal chef business. From television, radio, and live events, she has become a key ingredient in the region’s vibrant Jewish life. Naomi lives in Woodmere, NY with her husband and children. FYI: So, “Aussie Gourmet,” what attracted you to starting your business?   NN: My degree is in teaching kindergarten, which I love. But I really enjoy cooking. My first event was a sushi night in Manhattan. It was a kiruv event, to bring in people who were Jewish but unaffiliated. People were really into it, and it was a warm, loving evening. Then the next week, somebody at my shul asked me if I could cook for her. She was busy and didn't have time, and I said okay, I can be your personal chef. Today, I cook for families in their house or at my house, and then I bring the food over. I can do sheva brachos, bar mitzvahs, and I can provide waiters and floral arrangements. FYI: And, how did you choose to name your business The Aussie Gourmet? NN: Well, Aussie because I am Australian (my accent gives me a little bit of an edge) and gourmet because I do high class food! I came to America for a friend’s wedding, and I just stayed. I went to Touro college, met my husband, and that was that! FYI: It is about 10,000 miles from Sydney to New York. Many people would find moving to a new country this far away from home to be extremely challenging. What was it like to be in the US without your family? NN: I lived in Brooklyn with friends. It was an easy adjustment, as I had a 26 | fyimagazineny.com great support group of friends as well as their families who watched out for me. From dating to kosher food, the Jewish life in New York was so much stronger than in Sydney.   FYI: New York certainly has some of the world’s most vibrant Jewish life, and I assume that Australia has something similar. NN: I wanted a better Jewish life. I loved my family and community dearly, and I had enough. Growing up in a small town, you have a handful of frum people. You went to school with them. You went to Israel with them for the year. You went to university with them. In New York, you meet fresh blood. All of a sudden there were new social circles and new people for shidduchim. It's not the same people in my age group. Maybe there were ten of us. Ten frum kids that you grew up with. Who would I go out with? And there are no kosher coffee shops, nothing. Once you have been unleashed to Israel, it's hard to go back to Australia. I don't want to put Sydney down, but facts are FYI: Today, you are a household name and a huge success. But what were the personal challenges and pitfalls that you faced on your path to success? NN: Trying to both be there for my family and my work. Making sure that even when I cook for other people, I have food waiting for my family, too. I try to let my kids get involved with the business. I’ll ask them, “What do you think of this menu? Anything that inspires you at other people’s houses?” And I do that to my friends, too. I ask around for opinions and advice. As they got older, I asked them to do the shopping, so it becomes a family event. Especially Pesach time; everybody rolls up their sleeves when we cater. FYI: Where do you make the magic happen? Do you have your own kitchen/hall?   NN: I’m a very organized person. I work from the kitchen in my house or my client's kitchen, but I like cooking in my own kitchen best. FYI: What’s it like to be a famous foodie? NN: I’ve been stopped in Israel, Canada, and Australia. Even kosher chefs have become recognized. The kosher community has embraced the food world. And it’s lots of fun. People are engaging, and you can help people. I use my role to help people. I'm in a fundraiser for the children's’ program at the Laniado Hospital in Netanya, Israel together with other food people. We are helping to advertise; we’re doing a cooking event and all the foodies are involved. We’re doing something called “Women’s Cook Off,” where we’ll be using our kosher celebrity status to raise money for the hospital. That's new. I love helping and I'm always happy to get involved. FYI: We know you’re a chef and you can teach. What other sort of “side projects” are you involved with? NN: I sell rugelach on QVC television for Mama’s Pastries. I host my own radio show on The Nachum Segal Network every Friday morning. It's in its fourth year. I also run and host kosher cooking competitions like Chopped, originally inspired by the Food Network. People compete and turn baskets of mystery ingredients into a plated meal. I set it all up, just as I would a cooking demonstration. People hire me to run the event as an evening out. Everyone cooks together and I emcee. We’ve held them in Lakewood, Flatbush, Chicago, etc. FYI: The cooking world is just growing and growing. How is The Aussie Gourmet unique compared with other businesses? NN: Every chef brings their own flavor to the kitchen, but I also bring attention to detail; I get really “into” the events. I let them be my guest at their simchah. I take care of them at their own simchah. People prefer my service, despite the fierce competition, because I give more intimate attention to detail and use more exciting and unique recipes. Caterers do the same few recipes over and over. I also use seasonal vegetables, so all my produce is much fresher, and I don't buy in bulk. I buy smaller quantities of fresher ingredients, so nothing sits in storage. FYI: Many women have dreams of building their own business, but they find the practical steps to be daunting. How did you make it happen? NN: Hard, hard, hard work, hours of hard work. I don't just walk in and say, “Hi, I'm a chef.” I network, I 27 | fyimagazineny.com shmooze, I make sure I am at all the food events. I write for newspapers and magazines in order to get my name out there. You need to be passionate and enthusiastic. Your customers feel it and want to be a part of your team. I also supply undivided attention. A lot of people are hard to reach, but I’m there for you. I don't take on too many clients, so I can give them each my all. FYI: What tips or advice can you share for women entrepreneurs? NN: I always say be passionate about what you do, love what you do, and work hard. Networking is very important too, I network by going to workshops and conferences. I also like meeting fellow business owners for coffee. fyi
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  facts. I wanted to be a better Jew. I wanted a better, more observant life than what Sydne...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE facts. I wanted to be a better Jew. I wanted a better, more observant life than what Sydney had to offer. One friend from Australia joined me. We lived in a basement in Flatbush.   Intending to come for a short visit, Naomi Nachman liked New York so much that she stayed. Combining her passion for gourmet kosher food and business acumen, she built a thriving kosher personal chef business. From television, radio, and live events, she has become a key ingredient in the region’s vibrant Jewish life. Naomi lives in Woodmere, NY with her husband and children. FYI: So, “Aussie Gourmet,” what attracted you to starting your business?   NN: My degree is in teaching kindergarten, which I love. But I really enjoy cooking. My first event was a sushi night in Manhattan. It was a kiruv event, to bring in people who were Jewish but unaffiliated. People were really into it, and it was a warm, loving evening. Then the next week, somebody at my shul asked me if I could cook for her. She was busy and didn't have time, and I said okay, I can be your personal chef. Today, I cook for families in their house or at my house, and then I bring the food over. I can do sheva brachos, bar mitzvahs, and I can provide waiters and floral arrangements. FYI: And, how did you choose to name your business The Aussie Gourmet? NN: Well, Aussie because I am Australian (my accent gives me a little bit of an edge) and gourmet because I do high class food! I came to America for a friend’s wedding, and I just stayed. I went to Touro college, met my husband, and that was that! FYI: It is about 10,000 miles from Sydney to New York. Many people would find moving to a new country this far away from home to be extremely challenging. What was it like to be in the US without your family? NN: I lived in Brooklyn with friends. It was an easy adjustment, as I had a 26 | fyimagazineny.com great support group of friends as well as their families who watched out for me. From dating to kosher food, the Jewish life in New York was so much stronger than in Sydney.   FYI: New York certainly has some of the world’s most vibrant Jewish life, and I assume that Australia has something similar. NN: I wanted a better Jewish life. I loved my family and community dearly, and I had enough. Growing up in a small town, you have a handful of frum people. You went to school with them. You went to Israel with them for the year. You went to university with them. In New York, you meet fresh blood. All of a sudden there were new social circles and new people for shidduchim. It's not the same people in my age group. Maybe there were ten of us. Ten frum kids that you grew up with. Who would I go out with? And there are no kosher coffee shops, nothing. Once you have been unleashed to Israel, it's hard to go back to Australia. I don't want to put Sydney down, but facts are FYI: Today, you are a household name and a huge success. But what were the personal challenges and pitfalls that you faced on your path to success? NN: Trying to both be there for my family and my work. Making sure that even when I cook for other people, I have food waiting for my family, too. I try to let my kids get involved with the business. I’ll ask them, “What do you think of this menu? Anything that inspires you at other people’s houses?” And I do that to my friends, too. I ask around for opinions and advice. As they got older, I asked them to do the shopping, so it becomes a family event. Especially Pesach time; everybody rolls up their sleeves when we cater. FYI: Where do you make the magic happen? Do you have your own kitchen/hall?   NN: I’m a very organized person. I work from the kitchen in my house or my client's kitchen, but I like cooking in my own kitchen best. FYI: What’s it like to be a famous foodie? NN: I’ve been stopped in Israel, Canada, and Australia. Even kosher chefs have become recognized. The kosher community has embraced the food world. And it’s lots of fun. People are engaging, and you can help people. I use my role to help people. I'm in a fundraiser for the children's’ program at the Laniado Hospital in Netanya, Israel together with other food people. We are helping to advertise; we’re doing a cooking event and all the foodies are involved. We’re doing something called “Women’s Cook Off,” where we’ll be using our kosher celebrity status to raise money for the hospital. That's new. I love helping and I'm always happy to get involved. FYI: We know you’re a chef and you can teach. What other sort of “side projects” are you involved with? NN: I sell rugelach on QVC television for Mama’s Pastries. I host my own radio show on The Nachum Segal Network every Friday morning. It's in its fourth year. I also run and host kosher cooking competitions like Chopped, originally inspired by the Food Network. People compete and turn baskets of mystery ingredients into a plated meal. I set it all up, just as I would a cooking demonstration. People hire me to run the event as an evening out. Everyone cooks together and I emcee. We’ve held them in Lakewood, Flatbush, Chicago, etc. FYI: The cooking world is just growing and growing. How is The Aussie Gourmet unique compared with other businesses? NN: Every chef brings their own flavor to the kitchen, but I also bring attention to detail; I get really “into” the events. I let them be my guest at their simchah. I take care of them at their own simchah. People prefer my service, despite the fierce competition, because I give more intimate attention to detail and use more exciting and unique recipes. Caterers do the same few recipes over and over. I also use seasonal vegetables, so all my produce is much fresher, and I don't buy in bulk. I buy smaller quantities of fresher ingredients, so nothing sits in storage. FYI: Many women have dreams of building their own business, but they find the practical steps to be daunting. How did you make it happen? NN: Hard, hard, hard work, hours of hard work. I don't just walk in and say, “Hi, I'm a chef.” I network, I 27 | fyimagazineny.com shmooze, I make sure I am at all the food events. I write for newspapers and magazines in order to get my name out there. You need to be passionate and enthusiastic. Your customers feel it and want to be a part of your team. I also supply undivided attention. A lot of people are hard to reach, but I’m there for you. I don't take on too many clients, so I can give them each my all. FYI: What tips or advice can you share for women entrepreneurs? NN: I always say be passionate about what you do, love what you do, and work hard. Networking is very important too, I network by going to workshops and conferences. I also like meeting fellow business owners for coffee. fyi
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  facts. I wanted to be a better Jew. I wanted a better, more observant life than what Sydne...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE T real•life WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW HIDING FROM ME? AS TOLD TO PENINA NEIMAN 28 | fyimagazineny.com he chuppah had just ended. A chuppah, always a joyful but solemn moment with the kallah walking down the aisle dressed in her glittering white gown, is a memory that remains etched in our minds from every wedding we attend. This chuppah was no different; it was just magnificent, and as I made my way down the stairs into the main ballroom amongst throngs of guests, there she was, Chani, my new daughter-in-law. It was a mere two months since she had been the one bedecked in white, now a newlywed, yet it seemed that tonight she was still the center of attention. I know what you are thinking. Attention, meh, typical mother-in-law prideful over her new daughter-in-law. It wasn’t so at all. This night, my daughter in law’s mother who was marrying off her second child in two months, was hovering over Chani while her older sisters snuck worrying glances her way. I did notice that my daughter-in-law's complexion was a bit off. Something is clearly going on, and not only is Chani's mother privy to the secret, but her sisters are as well. I pretended not to notice. I embraced Chani’s mother with a warm and hearty Mazel Tov, and of course, did the same to my new daughter-in-law, having her guide me to a nearby table matching my seating card. We both went to wash and then sat down to eat. I was quite hungry and heartily bit into my roll, but Chani just nibbled at hers. She didn't seem to have much of an appetite. We schmoozed a while over the appetizers and salads before Chani capitulated and apologetically stated, "I'm too nauseous to eat."   I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I had immediately picked up on the fact that she wasn't feeling herself and that she didn't want to talk about it. So why is she telling me she's nauseous? Maybe she realizes that she can't hide it and therefore she is hinting to me. How am I supposed to respond? Since we were sitting at a table full of women, I knew it wasn't the time to say anything personal. I just smiled reassuringly and quietly told her, "Don't worry, it'll pass. In a few weeks you'll feel better." I couldn't wait to find my husband. As soon as I got a chance, I called him outside and told him the exciting news: "We're expecting a grandchild!" I really enjoyed myself at that wedding. I was so busy counting my blessings that I didn't spend much time trying to figure out why Eli and Chani hadn't told us directly. I understood that Chani must have confided in her mother since they were very close while Eli was somewhat reserved, but still, I thought it was a bit odd that Chani's sisters would know before us.   I decided not to dwell on it and just stay focused on the positive. Baruch Hashem, Eli and Chani looked so happy together and I was going to be a Bubby. What more could I ask for? Only a few days later, a friend called to ask me if her neighbor could borrow my bassinet. I was happy to lend it out, but I made it quite clear that I would need it back in just a couple of months. I was definitely curious to know when Chani was due and I was anxiously waiting for the official announcement. Eli had always been rather secretive, but I was getting impatient. Didn't he realize that you are supposed to share good news with your 29 | fyimagazineny.com parents? Especially if it is obvious? The next time Eli came over, I pulled him aside and asked him, "When is Chani due?" He looked very uncomfortable as he hurriedly answered, "When Hashem decides," and then dashed out of the house. W e saw the young couple from time to time and we had so much nachas from their beautiful relationship. It was obvious that they were deeply devoted to one another; however, at the same time it was also pretty clear that they were keeping something from us. By this time we realized that Chani probably was not expecting a baby, and that Eli was not interested in involving us in whatever was really going on. My husband and I knew better than to confront Eli and decided to remain mute about this matter. Even more so, we decided to just be available for the young couple in any way we could. They did live in our neighborhood, and naturally we would meet them rather frequently, but there was an awkward distance between us. We could tell they wanted their space and we were very careful to respect their boundaries. But it was getting a bit strained. Leading up to their first Pesach as a couple, they insisted on making Pesach on their own, but they were seemingly having a hard time balancing all the little details. A short few days passed and all of a sudden, they requested to eat at our house on a daily basis. We in turn were just happy to spend time with them. But a trifling thought was pecking away at the back of my brain. This isn't a good sign. This is so out of character of them. This fiercely independent couple would not be joining us for every meal if they didn't have to.
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  T  real   life  WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW  HIDING FROM ME  AS TOLD TO PENINA NEIMAN  28  ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE T real•life WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW HIDING FROM ME? AS TOLD TO PENINA NEIMAN 28 | fyimagazineny.com he chuppah had just ended. A chuppah, always a joyful but solemn moment with the kallah walking down the aisle dressed in her glittering white gown, is a memory that remains etched in our minds from every wedding we attend. This chuppah was no different; it was just magnificent, and as I made my way down the stairs into the main ballroom amongst throngs of guests, there she was, Chani, my new daughter-in-law. It was a mere two months since she had been the one bedecked in white, now a newlywed, yet it seemed that tonight she was still the center of attention. I know what you are thinking. Attention, meh, typical mother-in-law prideful over her new daughter-in-law. It wasn’t so at all. This night, my daughter in law’s mother who was marrying off her second child in two months, was hovering over Chani while her older sisters snuck worrying glances her way. I did notice that my daughter-in-law's complexion was a bit off. Something is clearly going on, and not only is Chani's mother privy to the secret, but her sisters are as well. I pretended not to notice. I embraced Chani’s mother with a warm and hearty Mazel Tov, and of course, did the same to my new daughter-in-law, having her guide me to a nearby table matching my seating card. We both went to wash and then sat down to eat. I was quite hungry and heartily bit into my roll, but Chani just nibbled at hers. She didn't seem to have much of an appetite. We schmoozed a while over the appetizers and salads before Chani capitulated and apologetically stated, "I'm too nauseous to eat."   I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I had immediately picked up on the fact that she wasn't feeling herself and that she didn't want to talk about it. So why is she telling me she's nauseous? Maybe she realizes that she can't hide it and therefore she is hinting to me. How am I supposed to respond? Since we were sitting at a table full of women, I knew it wasn't the time to say anything personal. I just smiled reassuringly and quietly told her, "Don't worry, it'll pass. In a few weeks you'll feel better." I couldn't wait to find my husband. As soon as I got a chance, I called him outside and told him the exciting news: "We're expecting a grandchild!" I really enjoyed myself at that wedding. I was so busy counting my blessings that I didn't spend much time trying to figure out why Eli and Chani hadn't told us directly. I understood that Chani must have confided in her mother since they were very close while Eli was somewhat reserved, but still, I thought it was a bit odd that Chani's sisters would know before us.   I decided not to dwell on it and just stay focused on the positive. Baruch Hashem, Eli and Chani looked so happy together and I was going to be a Bubby. What more could I ask for? Only a few days later, a friend called to ask me if her neighbor could borrow my bassinet. I was happy to lend it out, but I made it quite clear that I would need it back in just a couple of months. I was definitely curious to know when Chani was due and I was anxiously waiting for the official announcement. Eli had always been rather secretive, but I was getting impatient. Didn't he realize that you are supposed to share good news with your 29 | fyimagazineny.com parents? Especially if it is obvious? The next time Eli came over, I pulled him aside and asked him, "When is Chani due?" He looked very uncomfortable as he hurriedly answered, "When Hashem decides," and then dashed out of the house. W e saw the young couple from time to time and we had so much nachas from their beautiful relationship. It was obvious that they were deeply devoted to one another; however, at the same time it was also pretty clear that they were keeping something from us. By this time we realized that Chani probably was not expecting a baby, and that Eli was not interested in involving us in whatever was really going on. My husband and I knew better than to confront Eli and decided to remain mute about this matter. Even more so, we decided to just be available for the young couple in any way we could. They did live in our neighborhood, and naturally we would meet them rather frequently, but there was an awkward distance between us. We could tell they wanted their space and we were very careful to respect their boundaries. But it was getting a bit strained. Leading up to their first Pesach as a couple, they insisted on making Pesach on their own, but they were seemingly having a hard time balancing all the little details. A short few days passed and all of a sudden, they requested to eat at our house on a daily basis. We in turn were just happy to spend time with them. But a trifling thought was pecking away at the back of my brain. This isn't a good sign. This is so out of character of them. This fiercely independent couple would not be joining us for every meal if they didn't have to.
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  T  real   life  WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW  HIDING FROM ME  AS TOLD TO PENINA NEIMAN  28  ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE Something is clearly wrong. We saw a lot of Eli and Chani over Yom Tov, and Chani was obviously weak. Eli kept running into the kitchen to find something to tempt her palate. I was pleased to see that he had developed into such a devoted husband, while Chani was clearly respectful and loving despite her debilitating weakness. But something was wrong and I wanted to know what it was. Finally, Eli called after Pesach and asked me to find a quiet room so that he could tell me something personal. I perked up my ears. "Chani is suffering from kidney problems. At first we thought it would just go away with the right medical treatment; I therefore decided not to tell you and Abba about it, not to alarm you. Chani's mother researched the top doctors to make sure that she got the best medical care and also accompanied us to all doctor visits and specialists. She was hospitalized right before her brother's wedding, and that's why she was so out of it during the chasunah.” He sighed and continued. "The doctors put her on heavy doses of steroids which didn't seem to help. We then tried natural medicine, but that didn't work either. Chani's kidneys are barely functioning at this point and the doctors recommended that our best option would be a kidney transplant. I feel that I can’t hide this from you any longer and that's why I called." Whoa! Did you really think we didn't realize that you were hiding something all this time? "Wow, Eli! Are you coping? Are you okay?" "Yes, Ma, I'm okay. Chani's family has already begun testing to see if any of them are a match for her. LOVE YOUR LIFE Her mother is thinking about giving Chani a kidney and we are hoping to schedule the transplant as soon as possible." "Eli, why didn't you tell us?" "I didn't want you to worry, Ma." If only it were that simple. We continued speaking for few more minutes before I went downstairs to break the news to my husband. Together we called our daughter-in-law’s parents. Her mother was so relieved that we were finally in the know. She had felt just awful about the heavy secret that hung between us, and had been encouraging Eli to cue us in for some time already.   From there on, things began falling into place, or so we thought. Chani’s mother was cleared as a match and after extensive testing, she was found to be physically capable of undergoing surgery to donate her kidney to her daughter. The surgery was scheduled to take place shortly after Shavuos in the Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center, commonly referred to as Ichilov Hospital. On their way back from a checkup at the hospital, my husband managed to arrange for someone to take the couple to Harav Chaim Kanievsky for a bracha. It was the day of the final pre-surgery checkup. Eli, Chani, and her mother were visiting Ichilov's nephrology clinic, while I was busy puttering around my apartment, feeling particularly restless. A very real tension was permeating my home and I wasn't sure of its source. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I went downstairs to answer the door and I was startled to find my forgotten bassinet sitting outside my door. The confusion and tension of the previous few months washed over 30 | fyimagazineny.com me. For a moment, my feelings of excitement months ago when I naively thought I was going to become a grandmother came bubbling back up to the surface. I wistfully looked at my bassinet and thought, why do I need this now?! I dragged myself up the stairs with the bassinet and sat down on the sofa to collect my thoughts and try to untangle this knotted rope. I must have sat there contemplating for an hour, it sure felt longer though. Suddenly, the phone rang, pulling me out of a trance. It was Eli...his curt message showed me how stressed he was. "Ma, there has been a change of plans. The transplant was cancelled. Chani is pregnant and we need to postpone the surgery." "What? How can Chani have a baby? Her kidneys aren't functioning!" "The doctor said that she will have to do dialysis six times a week in order to keep the pregnancy. The doctors think a kidney transplant is a better idea, but they told us that dialysis is a viable option as well. We immediately made contact and consulted with Reb Chaim again and he advised us to continue the pregnancy with the dialysis treatment and to keep him posted with any changes." T o put it mildly, Chani was a real trooper. She travelled back and forth to the hospital every single day for months in order to undergo dialysis; she never complained. She acted as if everything were normal. As if a 21-year old could possibly think spending every day of the week hooked up to a machine was normal. In the midst of all this, my son Duvi was turning 13 and I prepared a nice Bar Mitzvah seudah for family and friends to attend. On the morning of Duvi's Bar Mitzvah, I ran to the grocery store for some last-minute items, and I bumped into Chani on her way to catch the bikur cholim shuttle to the hospital. I decided to put my errands aside for a while and keep her company until her ride came. We chatted as if this were the most ordinary of days. As if all newlyweds spend their mornings traveling to the hospital to have their blood mechanically cleaned. Chani's ride came and whisked her off to the hospital while I headed back to the store and the busy day ahead of me. Later that evening, Chani arrived at the hall wearing a beautiful dress and carrying two homemade jelly rolls. I have no idea how she found the time to bake and creatively frost them after a day of her exhausting treatments. But that's Chani. Things got a little crazy around Sukkos. Chani had developed high blood pressure and needed to be hospitalized. I for one was relieved that she wouldn't have to schlep back and forth to the hospital in her condition. Chani was strictly monitored three times a day in attempt to keep the pregnancy going as long as possible. It was important for the baby’s development. Every additional day of pregnancy was considered a priceless accomplishment. I must admit that from time to time, I would get nervous as it seemed as if the doctors were playing a game of Russian roulette. They had to constantly balance the gain of keeping the pregnancy going one more day against a very real risk to both mother and baby. All of us- Eli, Chani, and our families, struggled to maintain a sense of inner calm in the face of so Every additional day of pregnancy was considered a priceless accomplishment. many complications. At times of weakness I would remember the bassinet, which for me had come to symbolize the unbelievable divine orchestration of even the minutest details. Chani had discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital clinic. She did not have to make even one phone call to arrange for a medical consultation as she already was in the hospital! The doctors outlined some tough choices for the young couple, but they didn't have to spend any time worrying about what to do. They already had an appointment with Rav Chaim Kanievksy for that very day! And it was on this day that I found the bassinet sitting on my doorstep. So every time I would get nervous about Chani and her unborn baby, I would think of the bassinet. I realized it was no accident that Hashem returned it to us shortly before Eli called to inform us that Chani was going to have a baby.    At 31 weeks, Chani gave birth to a tiny baby boy, weighing only 1.1 kilo (under 2.5 lbs.) From day one, this miracle child managed to 31 | fyimagazineny.com breathe on his own and impressed everyone around him with his rapid development. Chani had a hard time recovering from the birth and didn't always have the strength to visit her baby. My husband and I took a few shifts in the NICU on the days that she was unable to be there. Holding a feather-light preemie was an awe-inspiring experience. He was so light that I didn't feel like I was holding anything.  I just couldn't believe this tiny being had entered the world against such incredible odds. After just five weeks in the hospital, the little guy was discharged, weighing about 2 kilos. The bris was postponed until the baby reached the target weight of 2.5 kilos. I wasn't at all surprised that Nachy's bris took place on Chanukah. Chanukah is after all, a time of miracles and Nachy was certainly a miraculous baby.   Chani underwent a successful kidney transplant right after Pesach. Her middle aged mother underwent major surgery to give her daughter a new lease on life. It wasn't easy for either of them, but Chani pulled through with her characteristic acceptance and grace. It's been three months and she is slowly getting back to herself.   I attended a beautiful Seudas Hodaah a few weeks ago in which my lovely daughter-in-law expressed her gratitude to her mother for giving her the gift of life. Again. She thanked all of her friends and family for their support during her illness. She expressed her gratitude to Hashem for making kidney transplants possible. We all did. fyi
LOVE YOUR LIFE  Something is clearly wrong. We saw a lot of Eli and Chani over Yom Tov, and Chani was obviously weak. Eli ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE Something is clearly wrong. We saw a lot of Eli and Chani over Yom Tov, and Chani was obviously weak. Eli kept running into the kitchen to find something to tempt her palate. I was pleased to see that he had developed into such a devoted husband, while Chani was clearly respectful and loving despite her debilitating weakness. But something was wrong and I wanted to know what it was. Finally, Eli called after Pesach and asked me to find a quiet room so that he could tell me something personal. I perked up my ears. "Chani is suffering from kidney problems. At first we thought it would just go away with the right medical treatment; I therefore decided not to tell you and Abba about it, not to alarm you. Chani's mother researched the top doctors to make sure that she got the best medical care and also accompanied us to all doctor visits and specialists. She was hospitalized right before her brother's wedding, and that's why she was so out of it during the chasunah.” He sighed and continued. "The doctors put her on heavy doses of steroids which didn't seem to help. We then tried natural medicine, but that didn't work either. Chani's kidneys are barely functioning at this point and the doctors recommended that our best option would be a kidney transplant. I feel that I can’t hide this from you any longer and that's why I called." Whoa! Did you really think we didn't realize that you were hiding something all this time? "Wow, Eli! Are you coping? Are you okay?" "Yes, Ma, I'm okay. Chani's family has already begun testing to see if any of them are a match for her. LOVE YOUR LIFE Her mother is thinking about giving Chani a kidney and we are hoping to schedule the transplant as soon as possible." "Eli, why didn't you tell us?" "I didn't want you to worry, Ma." If only it were that simple. We continued speaking for few more minutes before I went downstairs to break the news to my husband. Together we called our daughter-in-law’s parents. Her mother was so relieved that we were finally in the know. She had felt just awful about the heavy secret that hung between us, and had been encouraging Eli to cue us in for some time already.   From there on, things began falling into place, or so we thought. Chani’s mother was cleared as a match and after extensive testing, she was found to be physically capable of undergoing surgery to donate her kidney to her daughter. The surgery was scheduled to take place shortly after Shavuos in the Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center, commonly referred to as Ichilov Hospital. On their way back from a checkup at the hospital, my husband managed to arrange for someone to take the couple to Harav Chaim Kanievsky for a bracha. It was the day of the final pre-surgery checkup. Eli, Chani, and her mother were visiting Ichilov's nephrology clinic, while I was busy puttering around my apartment, feeling particularly restless. A very real tension was permeating my home and I wasn't sure of its source. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I went downstairs to answer the door and I was startled to find my forgotten bassinet sitting outside my door. The confusion and tension of the previous few months washed over 30 | fyimagazineny.com me. For a moment, my feelings of excitement months ago when I naively thought I was going to become a grandmother came bubbling back up to the surface. I wistfully looked at my bassinet and thought, why do I need this now?! I dragged myself up the stairs with the bassinet and sat down on the sofa to collect my thoughts and try to untangle this knotted rope. I must have sat there contemplating for an hour, it sure felt longer though. Suddenly, the phone rang, pulling me out of a trance. It was Eli...his curt message showed me how stressed he was. "Ma, there has been a change of plans. The transplant was cancelled. Chani is pregnant and we need to postpone the surgery." "What? How can Chani have a baby? Her kidneys aren't functioning!" "The doctor said that she will have to do dialysis six times a week in order to keep the pregnancy. The doctors think a kidney transplant is a better idea, but they told us that dialysis is a viable option as well. We immediately made contact and consulted with Reb Chaim again and he advised us to continue the pregnancy with the dialysis treatment and to keep him posted with any changes." T o put it mildly, Chani was a real trooper. She travelled back and forth to the hospital every single day for months in order to undergo dialysis; she never complained. She acted as if everything were normal. As if a 21-year old could possibly think spending every day of the week hooked up to a machine was normal. In the midst of all this, my son Duvi was turning 13 and I prepared a nice Bar Mitzvah seudah for family and friends to attend. On the morning of Duvi's Bar Mitzvah, I ran to the grocery store for some last-minute items, and I bumped into Chani on her way to catch the bikur cholim shuttle to the hospital. I decided to put my errands aside for a while and keep her company until her ride came. We chatted as if this were the most ordinary of days. As if all newlyweds spend their mornings traveling to the hospital to have their blood mechanically cleaned. Chani's ride came and whisked her off to the hospital while I headed back to the store and the busy day ahead of me. Later that evening, Chani arrived at the hall wearing a beautiful dress and carrying two homemade jelly rolls. I have no idea how she found the time to bake and creatively frost them after a day of her exhausting treatments. But that's Chani. Things got a little crazy around Sukkos. Chani had developed high blood pressure and needed to be hospitalized. I for one was relieved that she wouldn't have to schlep back and forth to the hospital in her condition. Chani was strictly monitored three times a day in attempt to keep the pregnancy going as long as possible. It was important for the baby’s development. Every additional day of pregnancy was considered a priceless accomplishment. I must admit that from time to time, I would get nervous as it seemed as if the doctors were playing a game of Russian roulette. They had to constantly balance the gain of keeping the pregnancy going one more day against a very real risk to both mother and baby. All of us- Eli, Chani, and our families, struggled to maintain a sense of inner calm in the face of so Every additional day of pregnancy was considered a priceless accomplishment. many complications. At times of weakness I would remember the bassinet, which for me had come to symbolize the unbelievable divine orchestration of even the minutest details. Chani had discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital clinic. She did not have to make even one phone call to arrange for a medical consultation as she already was in the hospital! The doctors outlined some tough choices for the young couple, but they didn't have to spend any time worrying about what to do. They already had an appointment with Rav Chaim Kanievksy for that very day! And it was on this day that I found the bassinet sitting on my doorstep. So every time I would get nervous about Chani and her unborn baby, I would think of the bassinet. I realized it was no accident that Hashem returned it to us shortly before Eli called to inform us that Chani was going to have a baby.    At 31 weeks, Chani gave birth to a tiny baby boy, weighing only 1.1 kilo (under 2.5 lbs.) From day one, this miracle child managed to 31 | fyimagazineny.com breathe on his own and impressed everyone around him with his rapid development. Chani had a hard time recovering from the birth and didn't always have the strength to visit her baby. My husband and I took a few shifts in the NICU on the days that she was unable to be there. Holding a feather-light preemie was an awe-inspiring experience. He was so light that I didn't feel like I was holding anything.  I just couldn't believe this tiny being had entered the world against such incredible odds. After just five weeks in the hospital, the little guy was discharged, weighing about 2 kilos. The bris was postponed until the baby reached the target weight of 2.5 kilos. I wasn't at all surprised that Nachy's bris took place on Chanukah. Chanukah is after all, a time of miracles and Nachy was certainly a miraculous baby.   Chani underwent a successful kidney transplant right after Pesach. Her middle aged mother underwent major surgery to give her daughter a new lease on life. It wasn't easy for either of them, but Chani pulled through with her characteristic acceptance and grace. It's been three months and she is slowly getting back to herself.   I attended a beautiful Seudas Hodaah a few weeks ago in which my lovely daughter-in-law expressed her gratitude to her mother for giving her the gift of life. Again. She thanked all of her friends and family for their support during her illness. She expressed her gratitude to Hashem for making kidney transplants possible. We all did. fyi
LOVE YOUR LIFE  Something is clearly wrong. We saw a lot of Eli and Chani over Yom Tov, and Chani was obviously weak. Eli ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE QUOTES & POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS THAT INSPIRE “Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.” Oprah Winfrey “IT HURTS TO LET GO, BUT SOMETIMES IT HURTS MORE TO HOLD ON.” Henry Rollins Fit For FALL WRITTEN BY REBECCA BLUE “Done is better than perfect.” Sheryl Sandberg It happens every year. We anticipate the summer “DON’T DWELL ON YOUR WEAKNESSES, EVERYBODY ELSE IS ALREADY DOING THAT FOR YOU.” Gary Vaynerchuk months. Then, before we know it, the summer is over and the daily madness begins again. We scramble to adjust to our new schedules while trying to find the time needed to stay in great shape. Moms deal with drop offs, carpools, bus stops, pickups, after-school activities, homework time, dinner time, preparing lunches- it goes on and on... And that is just a small portion of our day. Life has us running in all different directions, much like bustling, acorn-collecting squirrels. No worries! In time, it will all come together, despite the adjustment period that comes with changing schedules and seasons. It is simply a matter of balancing everything in a way that works. While “The greater the challenge, the bigger the opportunity.” “A ship in a harbor is you are still trying to figure it all out, remember to safe- but that is not avoid that tendency to slack off on exercise. what ships are built for.” John S. Shedd 32 | fyimagazineny.com Rebecca Blue is a certified personal trainer and the co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo fitness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com 33 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  QUOTES   POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS THAT INSPIRE     Do what you have to do until you can do wh...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE QUOTES & POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS THAT INSPIRE “Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.” Oprah Winfrey “IT HURTS TO LET GO, BUT SOMETIMES IT HURTS MORE TO HOLD ON.” Henry Rollins Fit For FALL WRITTEN BY REBECCA BLUE “Done is better than perfect.” Sheryl Sandberg It happens every year. We anticipate the summer “DON’T DWELL ON YOUR WEAKNESSES, EVERYBODY ELSE IS ALREADY DOING THAT FOR YOU.” Gary Vaynerchuk months. Then, before we know it, the summer is over and the daily madness begins again. We scramble to adjust to our new schedules while trying to find the time needed to stay in great shape. Moms deal with drop offs, carpools, bus stops, pickups, after-school activities, homework time, dinner time, preparing lunches- it goes on and on... And that is just a small portion of our day. Life has us running in all different directions, much like bustling, acorn-collecting squirrels. No worries! In time, it will all come together, despite the adjustment period that comes with changing schedules and seasons. It is simply a matter of balancing everything in a way that works. While “The greater the challenge, the bigger the opportunity.” “A ship in a harbor is you are still trying to figure it all out, remember to safe- but that is not avoid that tendency to slack off on exercise. what ships are built for.” John S. Shedd 32 | fyimagazineny.com Rebecca Blue is a certified personal trainer and the co-owner of Rounds Elite Fitness, a unique paleo fitness studio. rblue1994@yahoo.com 33 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  QUOTES   POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS THAT INSPIRE     Do what you have to do until you can do wh...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE To help you remember your willpower, strive for the Four C's of Health Conditioning: Commitment, Consistency, Convenience, and Challenges - and stay fit this fall. COMMITMENT: If there's a will, there’s a way. We are all busy and every day we have to decide to avoid making excuses to skip out on exercise. Plan and schedule ahead to make your workouts fit into your hectic day. You can even plan as far out as a week or more in advance if that helps. If you need to exercise at home, make it work by using the resources of your environment. Run the stairs several times, or take multiple grocery bag trips from your car to your house. Do effective bodyweight exercises that require no equipment at all. These include wall squats, push ups, pull-ups, and planks. Make grocery lists of what you’re going to need for the week so you don't waste time running to the supermarket every day - unless you are going to actually run; then by all means, grab your headband and head out the door! Plan your family meals as well as your own, so you are not tempted to grab the wrong foods when you are in a rush. Keep a food journal if you benefit from keeping your calorie count in check. Your plan should include downtime with the kids, as well as homework hour and playtime. Activities such as raking leaves outdoors together and chasing those pesky squirrels are great exercises (and with all the calories you will burn, you can afford to eat that Yom Tov dessert). So be creative, flexible, and have fun. CONSISTENCY: Be consistent. Getting ten minutes of daily exercise is better than one hour once a month at the gym. Always keep a packed gym bag filled with a change One great fitness trend worth noting this fall is Total Body Resistance Exercise (TRX). of clothes, a couple of water bottles, and a healthy stash of snacks in case you can make it out to the gym or to that special class you wanted to try at some random time. Be ready to sprint at all times because you never know when you may get to take advantage of some extra alone time. CONVENIENCE: Exercise should never be a hassle, so aim for a gym or studio that is nearby and flexible with your schedule. Home workouts can also be a great option, as well as outdoor bike rides and runs. Have the kids jog, power walk, or lunge with you after school from the bus stop. For extra resistance, you can hold their knapsacks or even hold the kids if they are young enough. CHALLENGE: Keep your workouts challenging. If you are always repeating the same workout regimen, your body will not see the results you are looking for and you may begin to lose motivation. It could become a boring chore, and your body will begin to use muscle memory, working against you in its effort to take the easiest route. Keep your workouts exciting and fresh. Discover new trends in fitness. Try a class that you haven’t previously attempted so you don’t get stuck in your ways. Remember, we don’t live in a bubble so do not train like you are. No matter your fitness goal, variety is a critical component to exercise. One great fitness trend worth noting this fall is Total Body Resistance Exercise (TRX), an 34 | fyimagazineny.com amazing bodyweight resistance training that challenges the body in every plane of motion. It can be done just about anywhere. Even if you bought a system for home use, most gyms and many studios are now booming with great TRX classes and equipment. Watch for the HIIT TRX class, a high-intensity interval training class that uses the TRX straps. This workout is sure to keep you burning fat all day long and have your physique looking leaner and younger in no time. Another workout for getting your challenge on includes the unique Rowing classes that have exploded all over the nation. It is, by far, a superior cardio workout, working 80% of your major muscles with almost no impact or joint stress. You can also revisit some tried and true standbys, such as kickboxing or circuit training with some standing bags. B y remembering the Four C's, you are certain to give your body the time and attention it needs to maintain or improve its health condition. Keep in mind: each minute you spend getting your healthy glow will surely not be only a physical workout. It will serve as a stress relief during this busy time of year. It will also be a source of inspiration for your children as they watch you stick to your commitment with consistency and choose convenient ways to give your body ultimate challenges. Find your fitness focus this fall, and start fitting it all into your new back-toschool. fyi in•session I'm a 4th grade teacher... WRITTEN BY RACHELLI STERNHEIM ....and I hope you can help, because I am feeling pretty anxious. I am a young and rather new teacher, teaching at a small school that has only one class per grade. Last year, our 3rd grade teachers were totally overwhelmed because they had a student in class who displayed extremely disruptive behavior. One of the teachers almost quit! My heart goes out to this poor girl, because she has a difficult history of severe trauma and abandonment. She also does not live with her biological parents. Since she will be in my class this year, I want to reach out to her; however, I am terrified! I’m so scared that she will wreak havoc in the classroom and I will end up like last year’s teachers, or worse. I mean, if they had so much trouble as experienced teachers, how can I possibly manage? Is there anything I can do to prepare myself for a positive experience? How can I create the kind of classroom environment that will engage this student? I don’t want to lose her! - Anxious Teacher Hoping to Make a Difference 35 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  To help you remember your willpower, strive for the Four C s of Health Conditioning  Commi...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE To help you remember your willpower, strive for the Four C's of Health Conditioning: Commitment, Consistency, Convenience, and Challenges - and stay fit this fall. COMMITMENT: If there's a will, there’s a way. We are all busy and every day we have to decide to avoid making excuses to skip out on exercise. Plan and schedule ahead to make your workouts fit into your hectic day. You can even plan as far out as a week or more in advance if that helps. If you need to exercise at home, make it work by using the resources of your environment. Run the stairs several times, or take multiple grocery bag trips from your car to your house. Do effective bodyweight exercises that require no equipment at all. These include wall squats, push ups, pull-ups, and planks. Make grocery lists of what you’re going to need for the week so you don't waste time running to the supermarket every day - unless you are going to actually run; then by all means, grab your headband and head out the door! Plan your family meals as well as your own, so you are not tempted to grab the wrong foods when you are in a rush. Keep a food journal if you benefit from keeping your calorie count in check. Your plan should include downtime with the kids, as well as homework hour and playtime. Activities such as raking leaves outdoors together and chasing those pesky squirrels are great exercises (and with all the calories you will burn, you can afford to eat that Yom Tov dessert). So be creative, flexible, and have fun. CONSISTENCY: Be consistent. Getting ten minutes of daily exercise is better than one hour once a month at the gym. Always keep a packed gym bag filled with a change One great fitness trend worth noting this fall is Total Body Resistance Exercise (TRX). of clothes, a couple of water bottles, and a healthy stash of snacks in case you can make it out to the gym or to that special class you wanted to try at some random time. Be ready to sprint at all times because you never know when you may get to take advantage of some extra alone time. CONVENIENCE: Exercise should never be a hassle, so aim for a gym or studio that is nearby and flexible with your schedule. Home workouts can also be a great option, as well as outdoor bike rides and runs. Have the kids jog, power walk, or lunge with you after school from the bus stop. For extra resistance, you can hold their knapsacks or even hold the kids if they are young enough. CHALLENGE: Keep your workouts challenging. If you are always repeating the same workout regimen, your body will not see the results you are looking for and you may begin to lose motivation. It could become a boring chore, and your body will begin to use muscle memory, working against you in its effort to take the easiest route. Keep your workouts exciting and fresh. Discover new trends in fitness. Try a class that you haven’t previously attempted so you don’t get stuck in your ways. Remember, we don’t live in a bubble so do not train like you are. No matter your fitness goal, variety is a critical component to exercise. One great fitness trend worth noting this fall is Total Body Resistance Exercise (TRX), an 34 | fyimagazineny.com amazing bodyweight resistance training that challenges the body in every plane of motion. It can be done just about anywhere. Even if you bought a system for home use, most gyms and many studios are now booming with great TRX classes and equipment. Watch for the HIIT TRX class, a high-intensity interval training class that uses the TRX straps. This workout is sure to keep you burning fat all day long and have your physique looking leaner and younger in no time. Another workout for getting your challenge on includes the unique Rowing classes that have exploded all over the nation. It is, by far, a superior cardio workout, working 80% of your major muscles with almost no impact or joint stress. You can also revisit some tried and true standbys, such as kickboxing or circuit training with some standing bags. B y remembering the Four C's, you are certain to give your body the time and attention it needs to maintain or improve its health condition. Keep in mind: each minute you spend getting your healthy glow will surely not be only a physical workout. It will serve as a stress relief during this busy time of year. It will also be a source of inspiration for your children as they watch you stick to your commitment with consistency and choose convenient ways to give your body ultimate challenges. Find your fitness focus this fall, and start fitting it all into your new back-toschool. fyi in•session I'm a 4th grade teacher... WRITTEN BY RACHELLI STERNHEIM ....and I hope you can help, because I am feeling pretty anxious. I am a young and rather new teacher, teaching at a small school that has only one class per grade. Last year, our 3rd grade teachers were totally overwhelmed because they had a student in class who displayed extremely disruptive behavior. One of the teachers almost quit! My heart goes out to this poor girl, because she has a difficult history of severe trauma and abandonment. She also does not live with her biological parents. Since she will be in my class this year, I want to reach out to her; however, I am terrified! I’m so scared that she will wreak havoc in the classroom and I will end up like last year’s teachers, or worse. I mean, if they had so much trouble as experienced teachers, how can I possibly manage? Is there anything I can do to prepare myself for a positive experience? How can I create the kind of classroom environment that will engage this student? I don’t want to lose her! - Anxious Teacher Hoping to Make a Difference 35 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  To help you remember your willpower, strive for the Four C s of Health Conditioning  Commi...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE Good for you for reaching out and being proactive! The fact that you are doing your best to set yourself up for success makes it more likely that you will succeed in reaching the heart of your challenged student. Instead of looking at this child as a “behavior problem,” you sincerely have empathy for her. Thus, you have already taken a great step towards reaching her and making her feel secure and welcomed. My first suggestion to you is to assertively request that your school enlist the help of a professional who has experience working with traumatized children to mentor you. Managing a classroom with an emotionally reactive child is tough and you will be better off with support. It is also important to recognize why children who have suffered severe trauma will respond differently towards you than children who have not. The traumatized child feels a lack of safety, which causes her body to be in constant “fight or flight” mode. This means that she will most likely perceive normal classroom discipline as a threat. Additionally, in all likelihood, she will not have developed the coping skills needed to deal with negative feelings, which results in acting out. In order for this child to feel safe in your classroom, you need tools and guidelines for creating a positive connection with her, as well as practical classroom 36 | fyimagazineny.com management skills designed for severely traumatized children. Here are a few different ideas you can use to create a safe and positive relationship. The most important factor in creating safety is by actually developing an unconditional positive regard for your student. The way to do this is simply by expressing joy in seeing her and showing interest. Make it a habit to notice her at least once a day, not necessarily by complimenting but rather just by noticing, which leads to the next idea. A child with a history of broken attachments often finds it hard to absorb compliments and positivity, so she may reject them. Therefore it is better to give compliments in tiny, bite-sized pieces. Nurture in small ways that do not take much time. Examples include noticing if your student got something new, writing a short note of encouragement on a test, and taking time to greet her in the morning. Remember your value. Whatever your student does is because of her own baggage and has nothing to do with your status as a competent teacher. Do not take anything personally and stay in your “adultself” by defusing any urge you may have to react. Apply all discipline and redirection without getting your emotions involved. If your student triggers you and you start getting anxious or angry, she will internalize the message that she is very unsafe, because not only can she not manage her emotions, but neither can the teacher who is supposed to be the safe adult in the room. Practically speaking, if your student starts screaming, make sure that you are talking in a calm and low voice. Don’t try too hard. A common mistake that teachers in your situation make is to take on an excessively nurturing role towards their student. It usually happens because they sincerely feel compassion for their student and want to help. The challenge is that very often teachers take on too much responsibility and become emotionally involved to a degree that is not sustainable because they either burn out or the child goes on to the next grade and loses this special relationship. Instead, be caring and involved while you always keep in mind that your student will advance. Encourage her to prepare for this so that her history of being left by attachmentfigures will not be reinforced and your relationship with her will not add to her pain of abandonment. You can do this by casually mentioning – from time to time – how her accomplishments will help her in the upcoming grade, letting her know about the next grade’s teachers and what they might expect from her, and even talking about how something she is learning now will help her later in college (planting the seeds of higher education.) Now that I have explained the relationship part, here are a few classroom management skills. Create a safe and predictable environment. The reason I use safe and predictable in the same sentence is because a child, whose life has been unpredictable, can react strongly when the classroom routine is unpredictable. Write a schedule on the board each morning, avoid giving surprise quizzes, and keep a highly structured classroom where it is very clear what is expected of students. It may be necessary and helpful to let your student know about any changes in schedule or surprises before they happen, even if you do not normally tell the rest of the class. It is also a good idea to let her know if you will be out and there will be a substitute (when it is possible to know in advance). Ask your school officials for help and do it proactively – before things get overwhelming. As mentioned in the beginning of this article, I want to reiterate the importance of support from an experienced professional. This will go a long way to help make managing your classroom, if not easier, at least possible. I wish you success. Also, please know that when you do succeed this year, you will have advanced your career because you will have become a more skilled teacher. Keep hope that your efforts will indeed make a difference. fyi Rocheli Sternheim is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Lakewood N.J. Rocheli is passionate about helping people help themselves. Email your questions to info@fyimagazine.com. 37 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  Good for you for reaching out and being proactive  The fact that you are doing your best t...
LOVE YOUR LIFE LOVE YOUR LIFE Good for you for reaching out and being proactive! The fact that you are doing your best to set yourself up for success makes it more likely that you will succeed in reaching the heart of your challenged student. Instead of looking at this child as a “behavior problem,” you sincerely have empathy for her. Thus, you have already taken a great step towards reaching her and making her feel secure and welcomed. My first suggestion to you is to assertively request that your school enlist the help of a professional who has experience working with traumatized children to mentor you. Managing a classroom with an emotionally reactive child is tough and you will be better off with support. It is also important to recognize why children who have suffered severe trauma will respond differently towards you than children who have not. The traumatized child feels a lack of safety, which causes her body to be in constant “fight or flight” mode. This means that she will most likely perceive normal classroom discipline as a threat. Additionally, in all likelihood, she will not have developed the coping skills needed to deal with negative feelings, which results in acting out. In order for this child to feel safe in your classroom, you need tools and guidelines for creating a positive connection with her, as well as practical classroom 36 | fyimagazineny.com management skills designed for severely traumatized children. Here are a few different ideas you can use to create a safe and positive relationship. The most important factor in creating safety is by actually developing an unconditional positive regard for your student. The way to do this is simply by expressing joy in seeing her and showing interest. Make it a habit to notice her at least once a day, not necessarily by complimenting but rather just by noticing, which leads to the next idea. A child with a history of broken attachments often finds it hard to absorb compliments and positivity, so she may reject them. Therefore it is better to give compliments in tiny, bite-sized pieces. Nurture in small ways that do not take much time. Examples include noticing if your student got something new, writing a short note of encouragement on a test, and taking time to greet her in the morning. Remember your value. Whatever your student does is because of her own baggage and has nothing to do with your status as a competent teacher. Do not take anything personally and stay in your “adultself” by defusing any urge you may have to react. Apply all discipline and redirection without getting your emotions involved. If your student triggers you and you start getting anxious or angry, she will internalize the message that she is very unsafe, because not only can she not manage her emotions, but neither can the teacher who is supposed to be the safe adult in the room. Practically speaking, if your student starts screaming, make sure that you are talking in a calm and low voice. Don’t try too hard. A common mistake that teachers in your situation make is to take on an excessively nurturing role towards their student. It usually happens because they sincerely feel compassion for their student and want to help. The challenge is that very often teachers take on too much responsibility and become emotionally involved to a degree that is not sustainable because they either burn out or the child goes on to the next grade and loses this special relationship. Instead, be caring and involved while you always keep in mind that your student will advance. Encourage her to prepare for this so that her history of being left by attachmentfigures will not be reinforced and your relationship with her will not add to her pain of abandonment. You can do this by casually mentioning – from time to time – how her accomplishments will help her in the upcoming grade, letting her know about the next grade’s teachers and what they might expect from her, and even talking about how something she is learning now will help her later in college (planting the seeds of higher education.) Now that I have explained the relationship part, here are a few classroom management skills. Create a safe and predictable environment. The reason I use safe and predictable in the same sentence is because a child, whose life has been unpredictable, can react strongly when the classroom routine is unpredictable. Write a schedule on the board each morning, avoid giving surprise quizzes, and keep a highly structured classroom where it is very clear what is expected of students. It may be necessary and helpful to let your student know about any changes in schedule or surprises before they happen, even if you do not normally tell the rest of the class. It is also a good idea to let her know if you will be out and there will be a substitute (when it is possible to know in advance). Ask your school officials for help and do it proactively – before things get overwhelming. As mentioned in the beginning of this article, I want to reiterate the importance of support from an experienced professional. This will go a long way to help make managing your classroom, if not easier, at least possible. I wish you success. Also, please know that when you do succeed this year, you will have advanced your career because you will have become a more skilled teacher. Keep hope that your efforts will indeed make a difference. fyi Rocheli Sternheim is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Lakewood N.J. Rocheli is passionate about helping people help themselves. Email your questions to info@fyimagazine.com. 37 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  LOVE YOUR LIFE  Good for you for reaching out and being proactive  The fact that you are doing your best t...
LOVE YOUR LIFE A Beauti FALL collection Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT! “I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better!” GET THIS: THAT IS TOTALLY FALSE! IF YOU ARE READY TO: How to Prepare for Family Bonding Around the Yom Tov Season WRITTEN BY SARA FREED The early fall, accompanied by cool winds and colorful pageantry, is exciting for many reasons. It is time to begin a new school year, embrace Rosh Hashanah, and trade in those clingy tees for your comforting cable-knits and tweed. o o o o o End the overeating and dieting cycle NOW Stop distracted eating NOW Make peace with your body and food NOW Trust yourself once again NOW Learn to enjoy food as you connect to the intuitive eater within NOW THEN I CAN HELP YOU FEEL GOOD NOW (AND SO MUCH MORE) Give yourself a sweet New Year filled with Greater Awareness, Control and Menuchas HaNefesh. Mind OVE� munchie� Intuitive Eating Coach Rena Reiser Presents A FREE TELECONFERENCE CLASS WEDNESDAY, SEPT 7TH 1:00 PM EST JOIN US! REGISTER FOR THE FREE CLASS 347-871-1848 www.mindovermunchies.com | rena@mindovermunchies.com "Intuitive Eating gives me clarity in all areas of my life, not just with food."- 38 | fyimagazineny.com teitelcreative.com just for you Sarah M. Plus size fa shion size med.-5x 7 DE RONDE ROAD, MONSEY, OFF BREWER | 201.749.1742 SUNDAY 11:30-6:30 MON, WED, THURS: 1:00 - 6:30 TUE: NIGHTS ONLY 8:30-10:30 39 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  A  Beauti FALL collection  Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT     I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get be...
LOVE YOUR LIFE A Beauti FALL collection Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT! “I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get better!” GET THIS: THAT IS TOTALLY FALSE! IF YOU ARE READY TO: How to Prepare for Family Bonding Around the Yom Tov Season WRITTEN BY SARA FREED The early fall, accompanied by cool winds and colorful pageantry, is exciting for many reasons. It is time to begin a new school year, embrace Rosh Hashanah, and trade in those clingy tees for your comforting cable-knits and tweed. o o o o o End the overeating and dieting cycle NOW Stop distracted eating NOW Make peace with your body and food NOW Trust yourself once again NOW Learn to enjoy food as you connect to the intuitive eater within NOW THEN I CAN HELP YOU FEEL GOOD NOW (AND SO MUCH MORE) Give yourself a sweet New Year filled with Greater Awareness, Control and Menuchas HaNefesh. Mind OVE� munchie� Intuitive Eating Coach Rena Reiser Presents A FREE TELECONFERENCE CLASS WEDNESDAY, SEPT 7TH 1:00 PM EST JOIN US! REGISTER FOR THE FREE CLASS 347-871-1848 www.mindovermunchies.com | rena@mindovermunchies.com "Intuitive Eating gives me clarity in all areas of my life, not just with food."- 38 | fyimagazineny.com teitelcreative.com just for you Sarah M. Plus size fa shion size med.-5x 7 DE RONDE ROAD, MONSEY, OFF BREWER | 201.749.1742 SUNDAY 11:30-6:30 MON, WED, THURS: 1:00 - 6:30 TUE: NIGHTS ONLY 8:30-10:30 39 | fyimagazineny.com
LOVE YOUR LIFE  A  Beauti FALL collection  Stop WAITING to LOSE WEIGHT     I need to lose weight, THEN my life will get be...
LOVE YOUR LIFE GET A HANDLE ON IT Take A Break | Marriage | Marketing T hough this is also a deeply spiritual time, we sometimes get lost in planning the logistics. We often find ourselves focusing more on the most celebratory aspects of the New Year, such as seeing extended family or hosting a feast. While we are busy writing our back-to-school shopping lists, it is easy to forget that soon we will convene at our shuls where, in a highly emotional setting, the events of the past year will be remembered. Are you ready to repent and renew your focus this year? Are your children ready to go back to school and face new teachers, new peers, and new challenges? How can we best clean our slate so we can move forward and enjoy the Yomim Tovim? The following tips can alleviate your stress and help guide your family’s transition from the lengthy and simmering summer season to the crisp, fastapproaching, hectic fall. SET ASIDE A PLANNING DAY. If you have children, they will soon be at school. You may not have as much time with them as you did in the summer months. Before you lose them to teachers, classes, and extracurricular activities, take a day off to enjoy time together. Invite your spouse to do so as well. Use the day to plan ways to reconnect and bond throughout the new school year. Define a time you can be together as a family every day, such as enjoying breakfast or dinner together. HAVE A FAMILY DISCUSSION WHICH INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING Designate a weekly family night, where you all commit to eliminating outside obligations. Also, use this day to work together as a family to handle back-to-school shopping and other preparations. You’re not only likely to get things done faster and be more relaxed while doing it, but working together is a great way to make your family feel like a team striving for the same goal. REFLECT ON THE YEAR SO FAR. For families who are struggling to move forward and bond together, remember the traditions of repenting, forgiving, and renewing our promises to G-d and each other. This is the perfect time to offer sincere apologies for the sins we’ve committed in the past year. We can take this opportunity to forgive mistakes made by those who have wronged us, so we can start again with a fresh love for the people in our family. What have you learned in the past year that has impacted your family? What have you learned about your family that has strengthened your relationship? TALK ABOUT WHAT EACH OF YOU REALLY WANT OUT OF THE REST OF THE YEAR. With school and holidays come obligations. Sometimes, lots of them. Start the season with an open dialogue about the upcoming challenges you may face individually and as a family. J What goals do you have for the New Year? These can be educational, emotional, financial, spiritual, or any other type of goal that you would like to discuss with your family. J How will your family feel most comfortable holding celebrations and reuniting with extended family? J If there was a loss in your family, how will you address that loss during the holiest days of the year? Would you find solace in reliving old memories and looking at old photographs? Would it be more beneficial to focus on this holiday’s celebration and the future of your family? 1 6 W AY S T O S T AY I N VACATION WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER Sarah B., a preschool teacher, loves summer because it means vacation from work and her grueling daily schedule. She gets to take care of things around the house, spend time with her kids, and just focus on being a wife and mom. As fall nears, however, she finds herself feeling down. “It means getting back into my work routine; getting all the kids up, out and ready so No matter what your familial situation looks like this Yom Tov season, remember to plan ahead. The holidays, much like crafty calories, sneak up on us quickly. Preparation goes a long way to reduce stress, ensure family bonding time, and show the effort you are making to bring your family together. fyi Sara Freed is a professional Jewish relationship and marriage coach based in Brooklyn, New York. By drawing on the wisdom of Judaism and implementing her training in the Gottman Method and as a divorce coach, Sara believes that every couple can learn the necessary skills to turn a struggling relationship into a thriving one. www.sarafreed.com 40 | fyimagazineny.com take•a•break QUESTIONS AND TOPICS: early; facing super-packed, busy days, and then sitting with my kids to do their homework at night. I always wish we could drag out those last, long, lazy summer days a little longer.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  GET A HANDLE ON IT Take A Break   Marriage   Marketing  T  hough this is also a deeply spiritual time, we ...
LOVE YOUR LIFE GET A HANDLE ON IT Take A Break | Marriage | Marketing T hough this is also a deeply spiritual time, we sometimes get lost in planning the logistics. We often find ourselves focusing more on the most celebratory aspects of the New Year, such as seeing extended family or hosting a feast. While we are busy writing our back-to-school shopping lists, it is easy to forget that soon we will convene at our shuls where, in a highly emotional setting, the events of the past year will be remembered. Are you ready to repent and renew your focus this year? Are your children ready to go back to school and face new teachers, new peers, and new challenges? How can we best clean our slate so we can move forward and enjoy the Yomim Tovim? The following tips can alleviate your stress and help guide your family’s transition from the lengthy and simmering summer season to the crisp, fastapproaching, hectic fall. SET ASIDE A PLANNING DAY. If you have children, they will soon be at school. You may not have as much time with them as you did in the summer months. Before you lose them to teachers, classes, and extracurricular activities, take a day off to enjoy time together. Invite your spouse to do so as well. Use the day to plan ways to reconnect and bond throughout the new school year. Define a time you can be together as a family every day, such as enjoying breakfast or dinner together. HAVE A FAMILY DISCUSSION WHICH INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING Designate a weekly family night, where you all commit to eliminating outside obligations. Also, use this day to work together as a family to handle back-to-school shopping and other preparations. You’re not only likely to get things done faster and be more relaxed while doing it, but working together is a great way to make your family feel like a team striving for the same goal. REFLECT ON THE YEAR SO FAR. For families who are struggling to move forward and bond together, remember the traditions of repenting, forgiving, and renewing our promises to G-d and each other. This is the perfect time to offer sincere apologies for the sins we’ve committed in the past year. We can take this opportunity to forgive mistakes made by those who have wronged us, so we can start again with a fresh love for the people in our family. What have you learned in the past year that has impacted your family? What have you learned about your family that has strengthened your relationship? TALK ABOUT WHAT EACH OF YOU REALLY WANT OUT OF THE REST OF THE YEAR. With school and holidays come obligations. Sometimes, lots of them. Start the season with an open dialogue about the upcoming challenges you may face individually and as a family. J What goals do you have for the New Year? These can be educational, emotional, financial, spiritual, or any other type of goal that you would like to discuss with your family. J How will your family feel most comfortable holding celebrations and reuniting with extended family? J If there was a loss in your family, how will you address that loss during the holiest days of the year? Would you find solace in reliving old memories and looking at old photographs? Would it be more beneficial to focus on this holiday’s celebration and the future of your family? 1 6 W AY S T O S T AY I N VACATION WRITTEN BY MALKA WINNER Sarah B., a preschool teacher, loves summer because it means vacation from work and her grueling daily schedule. She gets to take care of things around the house, spend time with her kids, and just focus on being a wife and mom. As fall nears, however, she finds herself feeling down. “It means getting back into my work routine; getting all the kids up, out and ready so No matter what your familial situation looks like this Yom Tov season, remember to plan ahead. The holidays, much like crafty calories, sneak up on us quickly. Preparation goes a long way to reduce stress, ensure family bonding time, and show the effort you are making to bring your family together. fyi Sara Freed is a professional Jewish relationship and marriage coach based in Brooklyn, New York. By drawing on the wisdom of Judaism and implementing her training in the Gottman Method and as a divorce coach, Sara believes that every couple can learn the necessary skills to turn a struggling relationship into a thriving one. www.sarafreed.com 40 | fyimagazineny.com take•a•break QUESTIONS AND TOPICS: early; facing super-packed, busy days, and then sitting with my kids to do their homework at night. I always wish we could drag out those last, long, lazy summer days a little longer.”
LOVE YOUR LIFE  GET A HANDLE ON IT Take A Break   Marriage   Marketing  T  hough this is also a deeply spiritual time, we ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT ppCollect it. Did you pick up a bunch of shells at the beach or save some river rocks from a family outing? Why not make a formal collection of your summer mementos? Dried flowers and leaves can be placed in an album or framed and hung as a group; little souvenirs can be collated into a vignette on a shelf or table; sea glass, shells and river rocks can be collected in jars. Maps can be hung as wall décor (and marked according to your trips.) These mementos will take you back to fun times and warm memories, and you’ll get the added benefit of collecting in and of itself. Psychologists note that the activity of collecting brings positive emotions from the past right into the present and also inspires creativity. M any women echo similar sentiments – even if they find summer to be challenging, too. Shaindy S. laughs that she complains so much during the summer about how hard it is to do “Mommy Camp” all the time while also running her home business, but then she finds herself dreading the return to school, tutors, appointments, homework, extracurricular activities, and all of the other stuff that’s part of her children’s routine. For Devory J., a stay-at-home mom, the end of summer means packing up her bungalow, schlepping home, getting everyone on schedule and then unpacking, unpacking, unpacking. Perhaps you recognize yourself in one of these women, or you have your own unique take on the end of summer and the start of the school year. However you feel, you’ll probably agree that every change can be difficult and the switch from summertime to school time is no exception. MAXIMIZE THE MEMORIES So summer’s ending and you’re feeling a little blue. What should you do? Bring it with you! Remembering positive events, situations, and interactions is a tool therapists recommend to their clients, suggesting that in sad, difficult or stressful times, they “pull out” happy memories or even actual mementos to calm and soothe them. Thankfully, a typical summer’s end usually isn’t traumatic – even if you sometimes feel that way. Check out these tips to bring a little bit of those happy, carefree, sunny days into your day-to-day life, even as the days shorten and leaves begin to fall. 42 | fyimagazineny.com antioxidants to boost your immunity, just in time for all the viruses the kids inevitably bring home. Vitamin C has been scientifically proven to regulate cortisol and prevent blood pressure from spiking during stressful situations. Other research indicates that even just the smell of citrus can help reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. ppGet yellow, not mellow. In color psychology, yellow is the hue associated with happiness, fun, sunshine, and being carefree. Bring a little of that summer sun into your home with something as inconspicuous as some cute yellow kitchen accessories (think measuring cups, spatulas or an apron) or some sunny home décor items that will infuse a pop of color into your living room or bedroom (think throw pillows, an afghan, tray, or even a bowl of lemons for the table.) Don’t be afraid of using a little yellow in your home; “Buttercup Yellow” was even named as one of Pantone’s top color picks for 2016. ppPrint it out. Making a scrapbook of your summer trips and adventures is a great way to indulge in a little personal creativity, or it can be a fun family project to help you all relax together. Or try putting together a simple summer photo album to peruse during the upcoming long winter nights. Maybe choose one or two summer shots to blow up, frame, or hang on your fridge. Art therapists say that taking and viewing beautiful photos is a great way to destress. ppLive it up with lemon. Lemonade is probably the quintessential summer drink, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it yearround. Not in the mood for something cold? Squeeze some fresh lemon into your hot tea or onto a salad. That fresh, citrusy taste will bring you back to the carefree days of summer while giving you a dose of vitamin C and ppGet outside. Just because summer’s over, it doesn’t mean you can’t spend some time outside. Savor the sun’s rays and soak up the warmth of those early autumn days by taking a walk by yourself or with a friend, enjoying an afternoon at the park with the kids, or even taking one last little trip to a local farm, garden, or some other site of interest. 43 | fyimagazineny.com Researchers have found that a little outdoor time has therapeutic effects on those suffering from depression or anxiety and helps improve students’ concentration and test scores. Why not take advantage of that in “regular” life? And in case you can’t get out, even just spending a few minutes looking out the window has been scientifically proven to have a calming effect. ppGet wet. In communities where an indoor pool is available, going for a swim is a great way to get exercise and experience a true mental boost. But even just relaxing in a warm bath helps. Swedish researchers found that after study participants spent time in water, 80 percent of them reported feeling less tense, less depressed, and less anxious. ppRemember and daydream. Indulge in a little nostalgia – bring back the positive moments of the past months and the summers of your youth. Remembering those bonfires, star-gazing sessions, boat outings, berry-picking trips, and adventures in the car not only makes a person feel good, it reminds us of the value of such experiences. Nostalgia can counteract loneliness, boredom and anxiety, and inspire optimism, psychologists say. fyi
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  ppCollect it. Did you pick up a bunch of shells at the beach or save some river ro...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT ppCollect it. Did you pick up a bunch of shells at the beach or save some river rocks from a family outing? Why not make a formal collection of your summer mementos? Dried flowers and leaves can be placed in an album or framed and hung as a group; little souvenirs can be collated into a vignette on a shelf or table; sea glass, shells and river rocks can be collected in jars. Maps can be hung as wall décor (and marked according to your trips.) These mementos will take you back to fun times and warm memories, and you’ll get the added benefit of collecting in and of itself. Psychologists note that the activity of collecting brings positive emotions from the past right into the present and also inspires creativity. M any women echo similar sentiments – even if they find summer to be challenging, too. Shaindy S. laughs that she complains so much during the summer about how hard it is to do “Mommy Camp” all the time while also running her home business, but then she finds herself dreading the return to school, tutors, appointments, homework, extracurricular activities, and all of the other stuff that’s part of her children’s routine. For Devory J., a stay-at-home mom, the end of summer means packing up her bungalow, schlepping home, getting everyone on schedule and then unpacking, unpacking, unpacking. Perhaps you recognize yourself in one of these women, or you have your own unique take on the end of summer and the start of the school year. However you feel, you’ll probably agree that every change can be difficult and the switch from summertime to school time is no exception. MAXIMIZE THE MEMORIES So summer’s ending and you’re feeling a little blue. What should you do? Bring it with you! Remembering positive events, situations, and interactions is a tool therapists recommend to their clients, suggesting that in sad, difficult or stressful times, they “pull out” happy memories or even actual mementos to calm and soothe them. Thankfully, a typical summer’s end usually isn’t traumatic – even if you sometimes feel that way. Check out these tips to bring a little bit of those happy, carefree, sunny days into your day-to-day life, even as the days shorten and leaves begin to fall. 42 | fyimagazineny.com antioxidants to boost your immunity, just in time for all the viruses the kids inevitably bring home. Vitamin C has been scientifically proven to regulate cortisol and prevent blood pressure from spiking during stressful situations. Other research indicates that even just the smell of citrus can help reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. ppGet yellow, not mellow. In color psychology, yellow is the hue associated with happiness, fun, sunshine, and being carefree. Bring a little of that summer sun into your home with something as inconspicuous as some cute yellow kitchen accessories (think measuring cups, spatulas or an apron) or some sunny home décor items that will infuse a pop of color into your living room or bedroom (think throw pillows, an afghan, tray, or even a bowl of lemons for the table.) Don’t be afraid of using a little yellow in your home; “Buttercup Yellow” was even named as one of Pantone’s top color picks for 2016. ppPrint it out. Making a scrapbook of your summer trips and adventures is a great way to indulge in a little personal creativity, or it can be a fun family project to help you all relax together. Or try putting together a simple summer photo album to peruse during the upcoming long winter nights. Maybe choose one or two summer shots to blow up, frame, or hang on your fridge. Art therapists say that taking and viewing beautiful photos is a great way to destress. ppLive it up with lemon. Lemonade is probably the quintessential summer drink, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it yearround. Not in the mood for something cold? Squeeze some fresh lemon into your hot tea or onto a salad. That fresh, citrusy taste will bring you back to the carefree days of summer while giving you a dose of vitamin C and ppGet outside. Just because summer’s over, it doesn’t mean you can’t spend some time outside. Savor the sun’s rays and soak up the warmth of those early autumn days by taking a walk by yourself or with a friend, enjoying an afternoon at the park with the kids, or even taking one last little trip to a local farm, garden, or some other site of interest. 43 | fyimagazineny.com Researchers have found that a little outdoor time has therapeutic effects on those suffering from depression or anxiety and helps improve students’ concentration and test scores. Why not take advantage of that in “regular” life? And in case you can’t get out, even just spending a few minutes looking out the window has been scientifically proven to have a calming effect. ppGet wet. In communities where an indoor pool is available, going for a swim is a great way to get exercise and experience a true mental boost. But even just relaxing in a warm bath helps. Swedish researchers found that after study participants spent time in water, 80 percent of them reported feeling less tense, less depressed, and less anxious. ppRemember and daydream. Indulge in a little nostalgia – bring back the positive moments of the past months and the summers of your youth. Remembering those bonfires, star-gazing sessions, boat outings, berry-picking trips, and adventures in the car not only makes a person feel good, it reminds us of the value of such experiences. Nostalgia can counteract loneliness, boredom and anxiety, and inspire optimism, psychologists say. fyi
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  ppCollect it. Did you pick up a bunch of shells at the beach or save some river ro...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT PARENTING 1 ARE YOU SOCIAL? YOUR CLIENTS DEFINITELY ARE. The numbers don’t lie! Facebook has over 1.19 billion users; Instagram has 200 million, and LinkedIn has 300 million users. Not sure how to get started reaching your customers on social media? We integrate our innate understanding of social media with online and traditional marketing strategies to increase brand awareness and drive revenue for your business. Our team of experts will research & position your company, engage with customers through valuable content and interaction, and promote your product or service across mutliple platforms. Contact us today to take the first step: hello@14minds.com • www.14minds.com • 516.590.0073 14MINDS collaborative marketing WHO ARE WE? 14Minds is a team of experienced marketers, collaborating on-demand with 360° marketing for small business. We’ve disrupted and re-imagined the conventional marketing agency by hiring and assigning team members as needed. The end result? You get access to leading industry experts – writers, designers, programmers, digital marketers, and business strategists – who are individually handpicked to collaborate on your project. 44 | fyimagazineny.com WHY YOU NEED TO STOP ARGUING IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS WRITTEN BY LEAH DAVIDOWITZ, LCSW AND CHAYA GUTTMAN, LCSW R achel is a sweet five year old girl who loves both her mother and father. She enjoys spending time with them and will do just about anything to make them smile. While she does get into her fair share of mischief, she is content and knows how to occupy herself. Rachel’s parents are good people and devoted parents. They adore Rachel and shower her with love and praise. Yet there is one area of trouble in the home, and that is their constant arguing and fighting before Rachel’s eyes. When the fighting occurs, Rachel’s sweet smile fades and is replaced with deep worry lines. If her parents are too busy fighting, who will keep her safe? Will they even notice if something happens to her? She feels afraid and insecure. The two people who are supposed to protect her and meet her needs, are too wrapped up in their own discord to take note of the damaging effects this is having on Rachel. Chances are while reading this you either identified with Rachel, or recognized yourself as the parent who fights or has fought in front of your kids. (Or both?) Arguments and 45 | fyimagazineny.com disagreements are a part of life. Most children will witness arguments and disagreements throughout the course of their childhood. However when name-calling, insults and aggressive yelling behaviors are added into the mix, there can be everlasting blemishes left in place. Research states that growing up with parents who frequently argue and fight can actually change children’s brains. How? They may process emotion differently and face greater social challenges than kids from less combative homes. Children will observe parental conflict and mark this as the blueprint for how they will handle their own conflicts. Therefore, if constant fighting is an area of struggle in your home, make it a priority to learn more constructive ways to disagree. Couples who cannot stop themselves from getting angry and lashing out at one another, will benefit greatly from
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT PARENTING 1  ARE YOU SOCIAL  YOUR CLIENTS DEFINITELY ARE. The numbers don   t lie  ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT PARENTING 1 ARE YOU SOCIAL? YOUR CLIENTS DEFINITELY ARE. The numbers don’t lie! Facebook has over 1.19 billion users; Instagram has 200 million, and LinkedIn has 300 million users. Not sure how to get started reaching your customers on social media? We integrate our innate understanding of social media with online and traditional marketing strategies to increase brand awareness and drive revenue for your business. Our team of experts will research & position your company, engage with customers through valuable content and interaction, and promote your product or service across mutliple platforms. Contact us today to take the first step: hello@14minds.com • www.14minds.com • 516.590.0073 14MINDS collaborative marketing WHO ARE WE? 14Minds is a team of experienced marketers, collaborating on-demand with 360° marketing for small business. We’ve disrupted and re-imagined the conventional marketing agency by hiring and assigning team members as needed. The end result? You get access to leading industry experts – writers, designers, programmers, digital marketers, and business strategists – who are individually handpicked to collaborate on your project. 44 | fyimagazineny.com WHY YOU NEED TO STOP ARGUING IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS WRITTEN BY LEAH DAVIDOWITZ, LCSW AND CHAYA GUTTMAN, LCSW R achel is a sweet five year old girl who loves both her mother and father. She enjoys spending time with them and will do just about anything to make them smile. While she does get into her fair share of mischief, she is content and knows how to occupy herself. Rachel’s parents are good people and devoted parents. They adore Rachel and shower her with love and praise. Yet there is one area of trouble in the home, and that is their constant arguing and fighting before Rachel’s eyes. When the fighting occurs, Rachel’s sweet smile fades and is replaced with deep worry lines. If her parents are too busy fighting, who will keep her safe? Will they even notice if something happens to her? She feels afraid and insecure. The two people who are supposed to protect her and meet her needs, are too wrapped up in their own discord to take note of the damaging effects this is having on Rachel. Chances are while reading this you either identified with Rachel, or recognized yourself as the parent who fights or has fought in front of your kids. (Or both?) Arguments and 45 | fyimagazineny.com disagreements are a part of life. Most children will witness arguments and disagreements throughout the course of their childhood. However when name-calling, insults and aggressive yelling behaviors are added into the mix, there can be everlasting blemishes left in place. Research states that growing up with parents who frequently argue and fight can actually change children’s brains. How? They may process emotion differently and face greater social challenges than kids from less combative homes. Children will observe parental conflict and mark this as the blueprint for how they will handle their own conflicts. Therefore, if constant fighting is an area of struggle in your home, make it a priority to learn more constructive ways to disagree. Couples who cannot stop themselves from getting angry and lashing out at one another, will benefit greatly from
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT PARENTING 1  ARE YOU SOCIAL  YOUR CLIENTS DEFINITELY ARE. The numbers don   t lie  ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT couples therapy. This will help them learn healthier ways to communicate, control anger and reduce blaming and insults. These improved behaviors becomes a model the child can learn from. The good news is that even when children do suffer from parental conflict, much of the harm can be undone. Once parents begin to present appropriate conflict resolution, the children learn from them and alter their behaviors positively as well. Hearing parents present and resolve a conflict can be very beneficial and educational for young minds. Hashing out disagreements that are quickly solvable is a positive learning experience for the child. It’s good for children to hear that parents’ opinions differ on a specific matter (where to go out for dinner or how to fix the broken chair.) These are opportunities to show them how you would want them to fight; with a goal of reaching a compromise, not winning. Children can learn to negotiate by observing  parents. They also learn to problem-solve, listen even when they may not agree with and consider each other’s wants and needs. They will be encouraged to stick with a discussion until a solution is reached. Through conflict—and conflict resolution, they are learning how to manage their own lives with classmates at school, siblings at home and eventually, colleagues at work. So while not all arguing is damaging to the children, yelling, name-calling and aggressive behaviors are always a no-no. Here are some important pieces of information to help discontinue the damaging cycle of fighting in the presence of children. 1. AWARENESS: Recognize that fighting in the company of the children is really harmful.  It is one of the most detrimental things a parent can do. Realizing this detail is one of the first ways to stop it. 2. IMPACT: Everything we do as parents has an impact on our children. Children who witness fighting are at risk for developing anxiety or depression, or may bully or act out in school. Children also learn to problemsolve, listen even when they may not agree with and consider each 3. COOL DOWN: As an adult we often need time-outs or cool down time. Develop a signal between you and your spouse to stop a heated conversation. Remember to pick up the discussion later, so the issue will get resolved. other’s wants and 4. FIND A PLACE: Choose a place that’s out of your child’s earshot. It can be your bedroom, the car, or basement. Designate this spot for any discussion that has the chance of escalating into an argument. Disagreements happen and yet there is always a way to avoid escalation into fighting. Any conflict can be resolved peacefully and constructively. At the same time, if we give our children the impression that their family is conflict-free, then they won’t be prepared to handle conflict in the outside world. Children who witness some arguing tend to be less stressed about it in life because they know it’s not the end of the world. As long as the arguments are  “fair” and constructive with no evidence of bullying and aggression, it can give children the tools they need to cope with conflict in healthy ways. fyi 5. DISTANCE: When things have already gotten heated, either walk away from your spouse, or send the kids outside to play or to another room. 6. NO SHAME IN SEEKING HELP: If you find yourself constantly fighting with your spouse and your own efforts to stop aren’t working, consider finding a couples therapist who can teach you specific communication skills. This is especially helpful if you find that you’re having the same fight over and over again. 46 | fyimagazineny.com needs. Muffins-N-Moms is an interactive, educational parenting workshop facilitated by Chaya Guttman, LCSW and Leah Davidowitz, LCSW.  Feeling overwhelmed? Email muffinsnmoms@ gmail.com for a free phone consultation. Individual parenting sessions are also available by request. 5 WAYS TO FOSTER SMOOTHER MORNINGS WRITTEN BY NISSI UNGER S chool is back! And yes, every morning there will be one kid that is missing a shoe and one that would like peach-flavored yogurt when there is only strawberry-flavored in the fridge. In many homes, mornings are frenzied, but they don’t have to be. Here are some tips from experts and moms, you can follow to keep mornings happy and smooth. 1. PREPARE AND FOCUS “It’s all about how much you prepare the night before and how focused you can stay in the morning,” explains Rivka Weber, LCSW. Prepare everything you can the night before, including snacks and tzedaka, mitzvah notes, lunch and of course, clothing. “Have a good idea of what breakfast is going to be. And then don’t get distracted. Don’t just throw in a load, don’t order anything online or on the phone,” Weber continues. Life is all about surprises and how you deal with them. You will have lots of distractions, like neighbors who need orange juice, kids who woke up wet and shoes that are missing. However, the more prepared you are, the fewer distractions you will likely have and the less they will throw you off schedule. Donna Goldberg, the author of The Orga- 47 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  couples therapy. This will help them learn healthier ways to communicate, control ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT couples therapy. This will help them learn healthier ways to communicate, control anger and reduce blaming and insults. These improved behaviors becomes a model the child can learn from. The good news is that even when children do suffer from parental conflict, much of the harm can be undone. Once parents begin to present appropriate conflict resolution, the children learn from them and alter their behaviors positively as well. Hearing parents present and resolve a conflict can be very beneficial and educational for young minds. Hashing out disagreements that are quickly solvable is a positive learning experience for the child. It’s good for children to hear that parents’ opinions differ on a specific matter (where to go out for dinner or how to fix the broken chair.) These are opportunities to show them how you would want them to fight; with a goal of reaching a compromise, not winning. Children can learn to negotiate by observing  parents. They also learn to problem-solve, listen even when they may not agree with and consider each other’s wants and needs. They will be encouraged to stick with a discussion until a solution is reached. Through conflict—and conflict resolution, they are learning how to manage their own lives with classmates at school, siblings at home and eventually, colleagues at work. So while not all arguing is damaging to the children, yelling, name-calling and aggressive behaviors are always a no-no. Here are some important pieces of information to help discontinue the damaging cycle of fighting in the presence of children. 1. AWARENESS: Recognize that fighting in the company of the children is really harmful.  It is one of the most detrimental things a parent can do. Realizing this detail is one of the first ways to stop it. 2. IMPACT: Everything we do as parents has an impact on our children. Children who witness fighting are at risk for developing anxiety or depression, or may bully or act out in school. Children also learn to problemsolve, listen even when they may not agree with and consider each 3. COOL DOWN: As an adult we often need time-outs or cool down time. Develop a signal between you and your spouse to stop a heated conversation. Remember to pick up the discussion later, so the issue will get resolved. other’s wants and 4. FIND A PLACE: Choose a place that’s out of your child’s earshot. It can be your bedroom, the car, or basement. Designate this spot for any discussion that has the chance of escalating into an argument. Disagreements happen and yet there is always a way to avoid escalation into fighting. Any conflict can be resolved peacefully and constructively. At the same time, if we give our children the impression that their family is conflict-free, then they won’t be prepared to handle conflict in the outside world. Children who witness some arguing tend to be less stressed about it in life because they know it’s not the end of the world. As long as the arguments are  “fair” and constructive with no evidence of bullying and aggression, it can give children the tools they need to cope with conflict in healthy ways. fyi 5. DISTANCE: When things have already gotten heated, either walk away from your spouse, or send the kids outside to play or to another room. 6. NO SHAME IN SEEKING HELP: If you find yourself constantly fighting with your spouse and your own efforts to stop aren’t working, consider finding a couples therapist who can teach you specific communication skills. This is especially helpful if you find that you’re having the same fight over and over again. 46 | fyimagazineny.com needs. Muffins-N-Moms is an interactive, educational parenting workshop facilitated by Chaya Guttman, LCSW and Leah Davidowitz, LCSW.  Feeling overwhelmed? Email muffinsnmoms@ gmail.com for a free phone consultation. Individual parenting sessions are also available by request. 5 WAYS TO FOSTER SMOOTHER MORNINGS WRITTEN BY NISSI UNGER S chool is back! And yes, every morning there will be one kid that is missing a shoe and one that would like peach-flavored yogurt when there is only strawberry-flavored in the fridge. In many homes, mornings are frenzied, but they don’t have to be. Here are some tips from experts and moms, you can follow to keep mornings happy and smooth. 1. PREPARE AND FOCUS “It’s all about how much you prepare the night before and how focused you can stay in the morning,” explains Rivka Weber, LCSW. Prepare everything you can the night before, including snacks and tzedaka, mitzvah notes, lunch and of course, clothing. “Have a good idea of what breakfast is going to be. And then don’t get distracted. Don’t just throw in a load, don’t order anything online or on the phone,” Weber continues. Life is all about surprises and how you deal with them. You will have lots of distractions, like neighbors who need orange juice, kids who woke up wet and shoes that are missing. However, the more prepared you are, the fewer distractions you will likely have and the less they will throw you off schedule. Donna Goldberg, the author of The Orga- 47 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  couples therapy. This will help them learn healthier ways to communicate, control ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT [. . .] S E T TH E TO N E . S M ILE A LOT ! AN D D O N ’ T E D U C AT E K I D S I N T H E M O R N I N G ! T H E G O A L I S T O S E N D K I D S O F F H A P P Y. nized Student, echoes that. She says, "No matter how much money you have, you can't buy more time. But with a little planning, you can save it." 2. DO A DRESS REHEARSAL There will always be one child who, at 8:15 in the morning, needs to know why some people protested the Vietnam War. Weber explains, “For the kid that has an awful time, have the very distractible child do a dress rehearsal the night before.” Incrementalize the behaviors piece by piece. Start by telling the child: “Your bus will be here tomorrow morning at 8:30. What has to happen before that to make sure you get on that bus well-prepared and happy?” Then, go through the list: “You need to wash your hands, get dressed, tie your shoes, eat breakfast, etc.” Have the child go through each step while you time him. The child will realize--hey, it took me an hour to do these five things. You tell the child, “I will wake you an hour before you need to go so you have ample time.” And at the end of the rehearsal, you have created a situation where the child can do these things more easily in the morning. 3. TURN MORNINGS INTO AN INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCE That is another approach suggested by Carrie Krawiec, marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan, and Executive Director of Michigan Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “To help parents get teens and tweens up in the morning for school, one helpful tool is creating a structured routine with points that can be earned for special privileges, money, etc.” Create a morning chart consisting of five tasks that need to get done. For example: pp Be up by 7:30 a.m. pp Get dressed pp Tie shoes pp Eat breakfast pp Make bed Give each task a number of points. More difficult tasks could be worth more, or you could assign them all equal points. But Kraweic claims you can expect 70% success from your child. Then give the one who manages 70% each day a small prize, all week a larger prize, and all month, an even larger prize. Earning something allows kids to turn mornings into a fun game rather than a stressful time they have to get over. 4. KEEP STRESS AT BAY First, make sure your stress is silenced and then theirs will be too. Get up early enough to have coffee (or whatever drink makes you relaxed and comfortable). And then set the tone. Smile a lot! And don’t educate kids in the morning! The goal is to send kids off happy. Since I adopted the “no chinuch in the morning” approach, my mornings are so much easier. The kids can learn all about responsibility, bal tashchit, derech eretz, lying ,and 48 | fyimagazineny.com stealing later on! Richmond, Virginia-based psychologist and mom of three, Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., agrees that mothers set the tone for the day, so start yours early enough in a way that makes you calm. "Kids respond to our mood and stress level, so it's important to be calm and upbeat for them," she says. "Take the time you need to get your act together first! If the family rises at 7, wake up at 6:30. Enjoy a cup of coffee alone, meditate, pray, or shower before everyone else is awake. The best gift you can give your child in the morning is the feeling of being happy to start the day." 5. USE VISUAL IMAGERY "Kids' brains aren't the same as ours: they're still developing. They can't absorb much more than small bits of information at a time, and may be overwhelmed by the amount of information and directives you're doling out in the a.m.," says Glasser. Instead of reminding kids what you need them to do, Glasser recommends using a visual aid. "Instead of barking orders and hurrying your child along, tell him to check the chart so s/he knows what still needs to be done. It sure beats nagging." Glasser suggests you try this: "On the weekend, take photos of your kids hamming it up as they go through their morning routine. Print out the photos and attach to the chart." This works wonders at bedtime too; I have instituted a visual chart for bedtime routine. I hung up photos of the tasks in the door of my children’s closet. They keep on going to the closet, completing a task and coming back for the next task. No negative words - or any words exchanged - and the kids are proud they can do it alone! fyi How to Estimate a Facebook Ads Budget WRITTEN BY BARUCH LEIFER So you heard that advertising on Facebook can yield great results and you want to give it a shot. The issue is that you don’t know how much to spend. Well, follow these 3 steps and you’ll have a budget in no time. 49 | fyimagazineny.com 1 WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? The first thing you need to decide before embarking on a Facebook Ads journey is where exactly do you want to go. What is the destination of the journey? Are you looking to build a bigger Facebook audience, or do you want to drive traffic to a website/ landing page? Are you looking for people to buy your product, or do you want to generate leads for your business? What is it exactly that you want your Facebook ads to accomplish? Another aspect of your goal is in what time frame do you want to
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT   . . .  S E T TH E TO N E . S M ILE A LOT   AN D D O N     T E D U C AT E K I D S ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT [. . .] S E T TH E TO N E . S M ILE A LOT ! AN D D O N ’ T E D U C AT E K I D S I N T H E M O R N I N G ! T H E G O A L I S T O S E N D K I D S O F F H A P P Y. nized Student, echoes that. She says, "No matter how much money you have, you can't buy more time. But with a little planning, you can save it." 2. DO A DRESS REHEARSAL There will always be one child who, at 8:15 in the morning, needs to know why some people protested the Vietnam War. Weber explains, “For the kid that has an awful time, have the very distractible child do a dress rehearsal the night before.” Incrementalize the behaviors piece by piece. Start by telling the child: “Your bus will be here tomorrow morning at 8:30. What has to happen before that to make sure you get on that bus well-prepared and happy?” Then, go through the list: “You need to wash your hands, get dressed, tie your shoes, eat breakfast, etc.” Have the child go through each step while you time him. The child will realize--hey, it took me an hour to do these five things. You tell the child, “I will wake you an hour before you need to go so you have ample time.” And at the end of the rehearsal, you have created a situation where the child can do these things more easily in the morning. 3. TURN MORNINGS INTO AN INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCE That is another approach suggested by Carrie Krawiec, marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan, and Executive Director of Michigan Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “To help parents get teens and tweens up in the morning for school, one helpful tool is creating a structured routine with points that can be earned for special privileges, money, etc.” Create a morning chart consisting of five tasks that need to get done. For example: pp Be up by 7:30 a.m. pp Get dressed pp Tie shoes pp Eat breakfast pp Make bed Give each task a number of points. More difficult tasks could be worth more, or you could assign them all equal points. But Kraweic claims you can expect 70% success from your child. Then give the one who manages 70% each day a small prize, all week a larger prize, and all month, an even larger prize. Earning something allows kids to turn mornings into a fun game rather than a stressful time they have to get over. 4. KEEP STRESS AT BAY First, make sure your stress is silenced and then theirs will be too. Get up early enough to have coffee (or whatever drink makes you relaxed and comfortable). And then set the tone. Smile a lot! And don’t educate kids in the morning! The goal is to send kids off happy. Since I adopted the “no chinuch in the morning” approach, my mornings are so much easier. The kids can learn all about responsibility, bal tashchit, derech eretz, lying ,and 48 | fyimagazineny.com stealing later on! Richmond, Virginia-based psychologist and mom of three, Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., agrees that mothers set the tone for the day, so start yours early enough in a way that makes you calm. "Kids respond to our mood and stress level, so it's important to be calm and upbeat for them," she says. "Take the time you need to get your act together first! If the family rises at 7, wake up at 6:30. Enjoy a cup of coffee alone, meditate, pray, or shower before everyone else is awake. The best gift you can give your child in the morning is the feeling of being happy to start the day." 5. USE VISUAL IMAGERY "Kids' brains aren't the same as ours: they're still developing. They can't absorb much more than small bits of information at a time, and may be overwhelmed by the amount of information and directives you're doling out in the a.m.," says Glasser. Instead of reminding kids what you need them to do, Glasser recommends using a visual aid. "Instead of barking orders and hurrying your child along, tell him to check the chart so s/he knows what still needs to be done. It sure beats nagging." Glasser suggests you try this: "On the weekend, take photos of your kids hamming it up as they go through their morning routine. Print out the photos and attach to the chart." This works wonders at bedtime too; I have instituted a visual chart for bedtime routine. I hung up photos of the tasks in the door of my children’s closet. They keep on going to the closet, completing a task and coming back for the next task. No negative words - or any words exchanged - and the kids are proud they can do it alone! fyi How to Estimate a Facebook Ads Budget WRITTEN BY BARUCH LEIFER So you heard that advertising on Facebook can yield great results and you want to give it a shot. The issue is that you don’t know how much to spend. Well, follow these 3 steps and you’ll have a budget in no time. 49 | fyimagazineny.com 1 WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? The first thing you need to decide before embarking on a Facebook Ads journey is where exactly do you want to go. What is the destination of the journey? Are you looking to build a bigger Facebook audience, or do you want to drive traffic to a website/ landing page? Are you looking for people to buy your product, or do you want to generate leads for your business? What is it exactly that you want your Facebook ads to accomplish? Another aspect of your goal is in what time frame do you want to
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT   . . .  S E T TH E TO N E . S M ILE A LOT   AN D D O N     T E D U C AT E K I D S ...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT accomplish your goal? You can’t expect to just turn on the ads and hit your goal within minutes; it needs to be realistic. A 10% growth in leads/audience/etc. over the next 3/4/5 months sounds like a realistic and attainable goal. You need to define your goal and set for yourself enough time to reach it. 2 WHO IS YOUR TARGET MARKET? What are the demographics, interests, and behaviors of the people you are trying to reach? Does your business cater to men, women, or both? Are your customers generally in the upper, middle, or lower class? Is there a common interest that your customers share? If you can determine the group(s) of people that are more likely to purchase from you, then you can SCENARIO 1: Joe, Gutter & Window Cleaning Service 1 Goal: 1,000 likes a month for 4 months 2 Tarket Market: Homeowners in a certain area with a certain income 3 CPC: $1.50 RESULT: $1,500 per month budget (for 4 months) SCENARIO 2: most likely target them with Facebook ads. 3 FINDING THE CPC (COST PER CLICK). Using Facebook’s Ads Manager, you can find suggested bidding per whatever action that you hope your audience will take. Once you have that figure, you can just multiply it by how many of those you want and over how long of a time period you want them. Let’s put it all together with a few examples: Scenario 1: Joe runs a service business that offers gutter and window cleaning. Joe’s best customers are wealthy people with big houses and with many gutters and windows to clean. The customers can afford to pay for the “above and beyond” service which Joe tries to bring to every job. Joe feels that if his Facebook presence were better, the “higher end” customers would be more comfortable to contact him and use his service. He decides to run a Likes Campaign to build up his audience. He wants to add 1,000 likes a month over the next 4 months. He uses Facebook’s targeting to find homeowners in a certain location with a certain annual income. He finds that the cost per like for this targeting is about $1.50 and therefore, needs to set a budget of $1,500 a month for 4 months to hit his goals. Scenario 2: Sally is a real estate broker specializing in rentals for college students. She has a beautiful landing page that she uses to collect leads for her 50 | fyimagazineny.com Sally, Real Estate Broker for College Rentals 1 Goal: 200 visitors per month to her website for the next 2 months 2 Tarket Market: Local college students 3 CPC: $3.50 RESULT: $700 per month budget (for 2 months) business. Using Facebook, she wants to drive targeted traffic to her landing page. Her goal is to get an additional 200 visitors per month to the page for the next 2 months. Using Ads Manager, she determines that CPC would be $3.50 to target local college students looking for a rental. At $3.50 per click, that makes 200 clicks for $700, and for 2 months, that’s a total budget of $1,400. By determining your business’s goals, target audience, and finding the CPC, you can estimate your budget with a little bit of math. fyi 27 Extraordinary Uses For Household Staples You Already Own WRITTEN BY CHAVY HELFGOTT These days, stores are chock full of specialty items to fill every need you can possibly have – but for a price. What if you could fulfill those same needs, easily, with items you already have in your home? One-up those manufacturers Baruch Leifer is a professional digital marketing specialist. To see how Baruch can help your business grow, email baruch@ centsibleclicks.com for a FREE consultation. Or visit centsibleclicks.com. and use these tricks to save money and recycle all that “useless” junk lying around your house. 51 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  accomplish your goal  You can   t expect to just turn on the ads and hit your goal...
GET A HANDLE ON IT GET A HANDLE ON IT accomplish your goal? You can’t expect to just turn on the ads and hit your goal within minutes; it needs to be realistic. A 10% growth in leads/audience/etc. over the next 3/4/5 months sounds like a realistic and attainable goal. You need to define your goal and set for yourself enough time to reach it. 2 WHO IS YOUR TARGET MARKET? What are the demographics, interests, and behaviors of the people you are trying to reach? Does your business cater to men, women, or both? Are your customers generally in the upper, middle, or lower class? Is there a common interest that your customers share? If you can determine the group(s) of people that are more likely to purchase from you, then you can SCENARIO 1: Joe, Gutter & Window Cleaning Service 1 Goal: 1,000 likes a month for 4 months 2 Tarket Market: Homeowners in a certain area with a certain income 3 CPC: $1.50 RESULT: $1,500 per month budget (for 4 months) SCENARIO 2: most likely target them with Facebook ads. 3 FINDING THE CPC (COST PER CLICK). Using Facebook’s Ads Manager, you can find suggested bidding per whatever action that you hope your audience will take. Once you have that figure, you can just multiply it by how many of those you want and over how long of a time period you want them. Let’s put it all together with a few examples: Scenario 1: Joe runs a service business that offers gutter and window cleaning. Joe’s best customers are wealthy people with big houses and with many gutters and windows to clean. The customers can afford to pay for the “above and beyond” service which Joe tries to bring to every job. Joe feels that if his Facebook presence were better, the “higher end” customers would be more comfortable to contact him and use his service. He decides to run a Likes Campaign to build up his audience. He wants to add 1,000 likes a month over the next 4 months. He uses Facebook’s targeting to find homeowners in a certain location with a certain annual income. He finds that the cost per like for this targeting is about $1.50 and therefore, needs to set a budget of $1,500 a month for 4 months to hit his goals. Scenario 2: Sally is a real estate broker specializing in rentals for college students. She has a beautiful landing page that she uses to collect leads for her 50 | fyimagazineny.com Sally, Real Estate Broker for College Rentals 1 Goal: 200 visitors per month to her website for the next 2 months 2 Tarket Market: Local college students 3 CPC: $3.50 RESULT: $700 per month budget (for 2 months) business. Using Facebook, she wants to drive targeted traffic to her landing page. Her goal is to get an additional 200 visitors per month to the page for the next 2 months. Using Ads Manager, she determines that CPC would be $3.50 to target local college students looking for a rental. At $3.50 per click, that makes 200 clicks for $700, and for 2 months, that’s a total budget of $1,400. By determining your business’s goals, target audience, and finding the CPC, you can estimate your budget with a little bit of math. fyi 27 Extraordinary Uses For Household Staples You Already Own WRITTEN BY CHAVY HELFGOTT These days, stores are chock full of specialty items to fill every need you can possibly have – but for a price. What if you could fulfill those same needs, easily, with items you already have in your home? One-up those manufacturers Baruch Leifer is a professional digital marketing specialist. To see how Baruch can help your business grow, email baruch@ centsibleclicks.com for a FREE consultation. Or visit centsibleclicks.com. and use these tricks to save money and recycle all that “useless” junk lying around your house. 51 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  GET A HANDLE ON IT  accomplish your goal  You can   t expect to just turn on the ads and hit your goal...
GET A HANDLE ON IT SKIRT HANGER E Hovering Recipe Stand Hook the hanger over your cabinet handle. Open your recipe book to the right page, or magazine clip-out page, and close the hanger’s clamps on either side. STRAW E Necklace De-tangler Slip each necklace chain through a plastic straw to keep the knots and tangles out. SUGAR E Removes grass stains: Enzymes in sugar help break down the chlorophyll that causes green stains. Mix ¼ cup sugar with just enough warm water to create a paste. Apply to the stain. Let sit for 30 minutes before washing. E Keeps flowers alive: Add about 3 teaspoons of sugar and two tablespoons of white vinegar to a vase filled with water. The sugar will help the flowers stay strong and perky, while the vinegar will kill bacteria and keep bugs away from your vase.  E Keeps cookies, bread, and cake fresh: Store in an air-tight container with a handful of sugar cubes. E Removes odors from hands: Just chopped onions and garlic? Pour 1 tablespoon of sugar into your palm, wet with 1 teaspoon liquid soap, and rub your hands together. TEA BAGS E Stops bleeding: Tea is a natural blood clotting agent. GET A HANDLE ON IT TIGHTS E Lost Item Finder: Missing an earring or some other small item? Cut the leg off an old pair of tights and pull it over a vacuum cleaner hose. Turn on the vacuum and run around the suspected area until you see the item clinging to the tights. TISSUE BOX E Car Garbage Bin: Attach the rough side of a Velcro strip to a tissue box and stick onto carpet by foot of passenger seat. Put all wrappers and food garbage there and empty at the end of the trip. TOOTHPASTE E Picture Hanging Guide: How many times did you bang the nail into the wrong spot when hanging up a picture frame? Next time, put a dab of toothpaste on the back of the frame by the hanging tab and press it against the wall. You’ll know exactly where to place the nail. E Emergency Silver Polish VASELINE E Prevents rust: Apply a thin layer to the surface in question. E Wax-free candlesticks: Next time, apply petroleum jelly to the insides of the holders before you put the candles in. The wax will pop out for easy cleaning. E Removes watermarks: Your most recent party left lots of watermark rings on your wood furniture? To make them disappear, apply petroleum jelly and let it sit overnight. In the morning, wipe the watermark away with the jelly. E Spruces up leather jackets: You don't need a fancy leather moisturizer to take care of your favorite leather jacket. Petroleum jelly does the job just as well. Apply, rub it in, wipe off the excess, and you're ready to go. E Protects Car battery: Car battery always dying on the coldest day of the year? Before winter starts, disconnect the terminals and clean them with a wire brush. Reconnect, then smear with petroleum jelly. The jelly will prevent corrosion and help keep the battery cranking all winter long. E Easy light bulb removal: Have you ever unscrewed a light bulb and found yourself holding the glass while the metal base remains in the socket? Next time, apply petroleum jelly to the base of the bulb before screwing it into the fixture. This is an especially good idea for light bulbs used outdoors. E Perfume scent preserver: Dab a bit of petroleum jelly on your pulse points. Then spray on the perfume. Now you can dance the night away and not worry about your perfume turning in early. E Professional-looking home manicure: Dab some Vaseline along the base and sides of your nails before beginning to apply polish. If any polish seeps off the nail during the manicure, just wipe off the Vaseline, and the polish will disappear right along with it. 52 | fyimagazineny.com WIRE HANGERS E Static Guard: Skirt is clinging to your thighs but no static guard around? Glide the long end of a metal hanger over your clothes. (This trick works for hair, too! If yours keeps giving you shocks after you blow dry it, run the metal hanger over your head.) E Unclog Your Drain: Save on the plumber’s fees with this simple trick. Straighten the hanger as much as possible and form a small hook at the end. Use to fish out clogged hair and debris from bathtub and sink drains. WD-40 Does this sit in your toolbox for months at a time without getting any use? Don’t waste it – WD40 is good for a lot more than removing rust: E Removes crayon marks E Removes glue E Prevents wood from splintering WHITE-OUT FLUID E Fixes scratched tub: The enamel in your bathtub looks scratched and scuffed? Don’t spend hundreds to have it re-glazed. Clean scratched areas with a cotton ball moistened with rubbing alcohol, and let it dry. Simply brush on the correction fluid for a quick and easy fix. After it dries, add a layer of clear nail polish to protect it. E Covers stains on white walls. VEGETABLE SHORTENING (I.E. CRISCO) E It removes lipstick stains. 53 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  SKIRT HANGER E Hovering Recipe Stand Hook the hanger over your cabinet handle. Open your recipe book t...
GET A HANDLE ON IT SKIRT HANGER E Hovering Recipe Stand Hook the hanger over your cabinet handle. Open your recipe book to the right page, or magazine clip-out page, and close the hanger’s clamps on either side. STRAW E Necklace De-tangler Slip each necklace chain through a plastic straw to keep the knots and tangles out. SUGAR E Removes grass stains: Enzymes in sugar help break down the chlorophyll that causes green stains. Mix ¼ cup sugar with just enough warm water to create a paste. Apply to the stain. Let sit for 30 minutes before washing. E Keeps flowers alive: Add about 3 teaspoons of sugar and two tablespoons of white vinegar to a vase filled with water. The sugar will help the flowers stay strong and perky, while the vinegar will kill bacteria and keep bugs away from your vase.  E Keeps cookies, bread, and cake fresh: Store in an air-tight container with a handful of sugar cubes. E Removes odors from hands: Just chopped onions and garlic? Pour 1 tablespoon of sugar into your palm, wet with 1 teaspoon liquid soap, and rub your hands together. TEA BAGS E Stops bleeding: Tea is a natural blood clotting agent. GET A HANDLE ON IT TIGHTS E Lost Item Finder: Missing an earring or some other small item? Cut the leg off an old pair of tights and pull it over a vacuum cleaner hose. Turn on the vacuum and run around the suspected area until you see the item clinging to the tights. TISSUE BOX E Car Garbage Bin: Attach the rough side of a Velcro strip to a tissue box and stick onto carpet by foot of passenger seat. Put all wrappers and food garbage there and empty at the end of the trip. TOOTHPASTE E Picture Hanging Guide: How many times did you bang the nail into the wrong spot when hanging up a picture frame? Next time, put a dab of toothpaste on the back of the frame by the hanging tab and press it against the wall. You’ll know exactly where to place the nail. E Emergency Silver Polish VASELINE E Prevents rust: Apply a thin layer to the surface in question. E Wax-free candlesticks: Next time, apply petroleum jelly to the insides of the holders before you put the candles in. The wax will pop out for easy cleaning. E Removes watermarks: Your most recent party left lots of watermark rings on your wood furniture? To make them disappear, apply petroleum jelly and let it sit overnight. In the morning, wipe the watermark away with the jelly. E Spruces up leather jackets: You don't need a fancy leather moisturizer to take care of your favorite leather jacket. Petroleum jelly does the job just as well. Apply, rub it in, wipe off the excess, and you're ready to go. E Protects Car battery: Car battery always dying on the coldest day of the year? Before winter starts, disconnect the terminals and clean them with a wire brush. Reconnect, then smear with petroleum jelly. The jelly will prevent corrosion and help keep the battery cranking all winter long. E Easy light bulb removal: Have you ever unscrewed a light bulb and found yourself holding the glass while the metal base remains in the socket? Next time, apply petroleum jelly to the base of the bulb before screwing it into the fixture. This is an especially good idea for light bulbs used outdoors. E Perfume scent preserver: Dab a bit of petroleum jelly on your pulse points. Then spray on the perfume. Now you can dance the night away and not worry about your perfume turning in early. E Professional-looking home manicure: Dab some Vaseline along the base and sides of your nails before beginning to apply polish. If any polish seeps off the nail during the manicure, just wipe off the Vaseline, and the polish will disappear right along with it. 52 | fyimagazineny.com WIRE HANGERS E Static Guard: Skirt is clinging to your thighs but no static guard around? Glide the long end of a metal hanger over your clothes. (This trick works for hair, too! If yours keeps giving you shocks after you blow dry it, run the metal hanger over your head.) E Unclog Your Drain: Save on the plumber’s fees with this simple trick. Straighten the hanger as much as possible and form a small hook at the end. Use to fish out clogged hair and debris from bathtub and sink drains. WD-40 Does this sit in your toolbox for months at a time without getting any use? Don’t waste it – WD40 is good for a lot more than removing rust: E Removes crayon marks E Removes glue E Prevents wood from splintering WHITE-OUT FLUID E Fixes scratched tub: The enamel in your bathtub looks scratched and scuffed? Don’t spend hundreds to have it re-glazed. Clean scratched areas with a cotton ball moistened with rubbing alcohol, and let it dry. Simply brush on the correction fluid for a quick and easy fix. After it dries, add a layer of clear nail polish to protect it. E Covers stains on white walls. VEGETABLE SHORTENING (I.E. CRISCO) E It removes lipstick stains. 53 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  SKIRT HANGER E Hovering Recipe Stand Hook the hanger over your cabinet handle. Open your recipe book t...
GET A HANDLE ON IT Why are more families homeschooling? Are children that are homeschooled socially akward? READ FIRST HAND ACCOUNTS... Your handwriting is as unique as your personality and see what your handwriting says about you... are often mistaken for something they aren't. Vision problems can be the culprit and it's an easy fix! 54 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  Why are more families homeschooling  Are children that are homeschooled socially akward   READ FIRST H...
GET A HANDLE ON IT Why are more families homeschooling? Are children that are homeschooled socially akward? READ FIRST HAND ACCOUNTS... Your handwriting is as unique as your personality and see what your handwriting says about you... are often mistaken for something they aren't. Vision problems can be the culprit and it's an easy fix! 54 | fyimagazineny.com
GET A HANDLE ON IT  Why are more families homeschooling  Are children that are homeschooled socially akward   READ FIRST H...
Why More Families Are Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-starched uniforms the night before school begins, happily anticipating meeting up with their friends the next day. We tend to think of students lining up to board the yellow school buses, chatting animatedly and comparing summer adventures. New schoolbags and crisp notebooks, slightly nervous teachers and mothers signal the start of a new school year. N 56 | fyimagazineny.com 57 | fyimagazineny.com
Why More Families Are  Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER  September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-sta...
Why More Families Are Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-starched uniforms the night before school begins, happily anticipating meeting up with their friends the next day. We tend to think of students lining up to board the yellow school buses, chatting animatedly and comparing summer adventures. New schoolbags and crisp notebooks, slightly nervous teachers and mothers signal the start of a new school year. N 56 | fyimagazineny.com 57 | fyimagazineny.com
Why More Families Are  Home schooling WRITTEN BY CHAYA ADLER  September calls to mind children preparing their freshly-sta...
F or some children, however, September means none of that. For them, school might begin at a desk in their living room. It might mean a family trip to the museum. It might be sitting with a group of friends and a tutor or mom. It might even simply be a continuation of their summer schedule, where they got to pursue a project or subject they were interested in. These children’s parents have eschewed formal schooling and have decided to homeschool them instead. THE MOTIVATION The reasons behind homeschooling are as varied as the types of families who choose it over regular schooling. Rochel says, “I did it as needed for my 5th kid for a bit. If I had known what I know now when I had my first, I don't know if I would have bothered with the school system at all. My kid wasn't doing well in school. He’s a quirky kid and the school had put him with a teacher who I knew to be very rigid and by the book. I knew they would clash, he would likely have self-esteem issues...and for what?” Esther started homeschooling when she found out to her horror that her ninth-grade daughter was being bullied in school. “What I have learned while working with my daughter (who still misses having a social experience but prefers learning at home) is that there are so many gaps in her education. Things she should have learned in 3rd and 4th grade that were just not taught. I don't put the full responsibility on her past classroom teachers. A quiet girl "One of the most common reasons parents who is pleasant in a class of 25, and doing average will fall through the cracks.” Perry’s son, who is eight, is autistic. When he started exhibiting social anxiety in school, which negatively impacted his academic level, she tried to transfer him to a special school, only to realize that he was too high-functioning and did not belong there. She started homeschooling him this past January, hiring a Rebbe and a teacher who would instruct her son in an environment where he felt safe.   For Elise, it was the commute problem that ultimately made her choose homeschooling. With no public transportation available, she was chauffeuring her kids to and from school, spending about four hours a day in the car. The fact that she herself had distasteful experiences in school, both as a student and as a teacher, certainly bolstered her decision. “One time I was called to a local yeshiva to substitute for the math teacher. The teacher told me where to find the books and what pages to cover that day. After about 10 minutes of teaching, the children had obviously mastered the material, so I decided to continue—and we ended up covering most of the book. The children all completed the work with ease. The next day, the teacher was mad at me.”    Yehudis’s reason is one of the most common reasons parents give for homeschooling: the desire for quality time with one’s children. The school day was so long, she found herself spending time with her kids only at the most stressful moments—trying to stuff breakfast down their throats so they could be on time to be rushed out the door, then nagging them about homework, hurrying through 58 | fyimagazineny.com give for homeschooling [is] the desire for quality time with one’s children." 59 | fyimagazineny.com
F  or some children, however, September means none of that. For them, school might begin at a desk in their living room. I...
F or some children, however, September means none of that. For them, school might begin at a desk in their living room. It might mean a family trip to the museum. It might be sitting with a group of friends and a tutor or mom. It might even simply be a continuation of their summer schedule, where they got to pursue a project or subject they were interested in. These children’s parents have eschewed formal schooling and have decided to homeschool them instead. THE MOTIVATION The reasons behind homeschooling are as varied as the types of families who choose it over regular schooling. Rochel says, “I did it as needed for my 5th kid for a bit. If I had known what I know now when I had my first, I don't know if I would have bothered with the school system at all. My kid wasn't doing well in school. He’s a quirky kid and the school had put him with a teacher who I knew to be very rigid and by the book. I knew they would clash, he would likely have self-esteem issues...and for what?” Esther started homeschooling when she found out to her horror that her ninth-grade daughter was being bullied in school. “What I have learned while working with my daughter (who still misses having a social experience but prefers learning at home) is that there are so many gaps in her education. Things she should have learned in 3rd and 4th grade that were just not taught. I don't put the full responsibility on her past classroom teachers. A quiet girl "One of the most common reasons parents who is pleasant in a class of 25, and doing average will fall through the cracks.” Perry’s son, who is eight, is autistic. When he started exhibiting social anxiety in school, which negatively impacted his academic level, she tried to transfer him to a special school, only to realize that he was too high-functioning and did not belong there. She started homeschooling him this past January, hiring a Rebbe and a teacher who would instruct her son in an environment where he felt safe.   For Elise, it was the commute problem that ultimately made her choose homeschooling. With no public transportation available, she was chauffeuring her kids to and from school, spending about four hours a day in the car. The fact that she herself had distasteful experiences in school, both as a student and as a teacher, certainly bolstered her decision. “One time I was called to a local yeshiva to substitute for the math teacher. The teacher told me where to find the books and what pages to cover that day. After about 10 minutes of teaching, the children had obviously mastered the material, so I decided to continue—and we ended up covering most of the book. The children all completed the work with ease. The next day, the teacher was mad at me.”    Yehudis’s reason is one of the most common reasons parents give for homeschooling: the desire for quality time with one’s children. The school day was so long, she found herself spending time with her kids only at the most stressful moments—trying to stuff breakfast down their throats so they could be on time to be rushed out the door, then nagging them about homework, hurrying through 58 | fyimagazineny.com give for homeschooling [is] the desire for quality time with one’s children." 59 | fyimagazineny.com
F  or some children, however, September means none of that. For them, school might begin at a desk in their living room. I...
"Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough social interaction. However, there are no studies that prove homeschooled children are more socially awkward than others." 60 | fyimagazineny.com supper and trying to get through bedtime on time. “This is not what parenting is supposed to be, I’m supposed to be a role model and have a relationship.” GOOD OL’ DAYS Homeschooling used to be the only option for most people, with college available to a select few. The Founding Fathers themselves barely had any formal schooling: George Washington had two years, while Benjamin Franklin had none. In the Jewish world, while boys were sent to cheder or a melamed at a young age, girls would stay at home and learn from their mothers; however, in the 1850s, education became compulsory, forcing all children into schools, whether public or private. This was the very reason behind Sarah Schenirer’s Bais Yaakov revolution; since the girls were now forced to attend public schools and were no longer being educated solely by their parents, she felt it was necessary for them to attend a school that would at least reflect and teach their parents’ values.   The 1960s brought many winds of change, where anything that was established was questioned, including the concept of public schooling. Religious parents were horrified at how secularized public schools were becoming and feared for their children’s faiths, while amongst secular children, a belief took hold that a school setting was unhealthy for young children, led by people such as John Holt, an educator who proclaimed that schools were failing children. In the 1970s, religious and secular parents banded together to fight for the right to homeschool their children. Since each state is autonomous when it comes to education laws, the fight was 50-pronged. In the end, all fifty states legalized homeschooling, with some legal requirements depending on the state. There are now 1.7 million students being homeschooled in the United States, and the number is growing every year. SOCIALLY SPEAKING Not everyone, however, is a fan of the homeschooling concept. Homeschooling is one of those topics that invites pretty heated responses, both for and against. “Homeschooling has its advantages,” Tova says. “The problem is, I have heard, that it tends to create kids who have difficulty blending in with the rest of society. I would think in our frum society where blending in is very important, this is crucial.” Rochelle has some strong words as well. “I don't homeschool, and although I really disliked school as a kid, and it is very hard for me to send my kids to school because of my experience, I still think it is an "avlah." It sounds wonderful to keep your kids safe and secure in a warm homey cocoon, to teach them according to their personal level and interests, but what happens to these kids when they emerge into the 'real' world? As difficult as school was for me, I believe that in some ways, it made me tougher and helped me develop a certain strength of character.” Ruthy had a bad experience with neighbors who homeschooled. “The children spent many hours of the day playing outside in the street, and they had very poor social skills. In order to get attention from children their own age, they were aggressive or destructive, and bothered the 61 | fyimagazineny.com neighbors a lot. I don’t believe they could have developed cognitively either.” Chaya, a former principal, remembers what happened when a boy who was homeschooled was mainstreamed into her school. “Academically he was fine. (Mothers are required to file curricula and objectives with the Board of Education.) Socially and emotionally, however, he struggled. I have always felt that the kids who make it are the ones with appropriate social/emotional skills. It is crucial for them to be in an environment where they are constantly being forced to socialize, even though I'm sure Mom does a much better job with the academics and one-to-one attention.” Sterna talks about her mother, who was homeschooled but preferred a traditional classroom once she was able to go. “My mother was home-schooled in Russia and in pre-war France, since there was no cheder there for her to go to. So my Zaide a"h hired melamdim to teach her and her younger brother. When she finally did go to a real school, she found it very exciting. The competition moved her to really excel, and the classes were so much more interesting with the give and take between students and teacher.” Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough social interaction. However, there are no studies that prove homeschooled children are more socially awkward than others. In fact, studies do indicate that homeschooled children do better academically (although not always in math) than children even in private schools—and this
 Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough  social interaction. However, there are no...
"Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough social interaction. However, there are no studies that prove homeschooled children are more socially awkward than others." 60 | fyimagazineny.com supper and trying to get through bedtime on time. “This is not what parenting is supposed to be, I’m supposed to be a role model and have a relationship.” GOOD OL’ DAYS Homeschooling used to be the only option for most people, with college available to a select few. The Founding Fathers themselves barely had any formal schooling: George Washington had two years, while Benjamin Franklin had none. In the Jewish world, while boys were sent to cheder or a melamed at a young age, girls would stay at home and learn from their mothers; however, in the 1850s, education became compulsory, forcing all children into schools, whether public or private. This was the very reason behind Sarah Schenirer’s Bais Yaakov revolution; since the girls were now forced to attend public schools and were no longer being educated solely by their parents, she felt it was necessary for them to attend a school that would at least reflect and teach their parents’ values.   The 1960s brought many winds of change, where anything that was established was questioned, including the concept of public schooling. Religious parents were horrified at how secularized public schools were becoming and feared for their children’s faiths, while amongst secular children, a belief took hold that a school setting was unhealthy for young children, led by people such as John Holt, an educator who proclaimed that schools were failing children. In the 1970s, religious and secular parents banded together to fight for the right to homeschool their children. Since each state is autonomous when it comes to education laws, the fight was 50-pronged. In the end, all fifty states legalized homeschooling, with some legal requirements depending on the state. There are now 1.7 million students being homeschooled in the United States, and the number is growing every year. SOCIALLY SPEAKING Not everyone, however, is a fan of the homeschooling concept. Homeschooling is one of those topics that invites pretty heated responses, both for and against. “Homeschooling has its advantages,” Tova says. “The problem is, I have heard, that it tends to create kids who have difficulty blending in with the rest of society. I would think in our frum society where blending in is very important, this is crucial.” Rochelle has some strong words as well. “I don't homeschool, and although I really disliked school as a kid, and it is very hard for me to send my kids to school because of my experience, I still think it is an "avlah." It sounds wonderful to keep your kids safe and secure in a warm homey cocoon, to teach them according to their personal level and interests, but what happens to these kids when they emerge into the 'real' world? As difficult as school was for me, I believe that in some ways, it made me tougher and helped me develop a certain strength of character.” Ruthy had a bad experience with neighbors who homeschooled. “The children spent many hours of the day playing outside in the street, and they had very poor social skills. In order to get attention from children their own age, they were aggressive or destructive, and bothered the 61 | fyimagazineny.com neighbors a lot. I don’t believe they could have developed cognitively either.” Chaya, a former principal, remembers what happened when a boy who was homeschooled was mainstreamed into her school. “Academically he was fine. (Mothers are required to file curricula and objectives with the Board of Education.) Socially and emotionally, however, he struggled. I have always felt that the kids who make it are the ones with appropriate social/emotional skills. It is crucial for them to be in an environment where they are constantly being forced to socialize, even though I'm sure Mom does a much better job with the academics and one-to-one attention.” Sterna talks about her mother, who was homeschooled but preferred a traditional classroom once she was able to go. “My mother was home-schooled in Russia and in pre-war France, since there was no cheder there for her to go to. So my Zaide a"h hired melamdim to teach her and her younger brother. When she finally did go to a real school, she found it very exciting. The competition moved her to really excel, and the classes were so much more interesting with the give and take between students and teacher.” Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough social interaction. However, there are no studies that prove homeschooled children are more socially awkward than others. In fact, studies do indicate that homeschooled children do better academically (although not always in math) than children even in private schools—and this
 Most of the naysayers believe that homeschooled children do not receive enough  social interaction. However, there are no...
Join us for a live cooking challenge... THE GRAND WOMEN’S applies even if the parents are not teachers or have no teaching degree. A greater percentage of homeschooled children will attend college compared to the general population. They are also more likely to be active in their communities, and a higher percentage of them report being “very happy” with life. That being said, I was curious to learn how homeschooling parents ensured that their children received adequate socialization. Elise did not go out of her way, since that would mean an extensive commute. “But living in a family, people can learn how to respect and help one another, and to exchange ideas, can't they?” Yehudis would arrange meet-ups with children from other homeschooling families and they would go on different outings. At the point where her children did need a more active and involved social life, at around sixth grade, she did switch them to regular schools. Shoshana homeschooled her son for three years. He also socialized with different homeschool groups. “Bottom line, if there are enough homeschoolers in the area, they can socialize with each other. They can also form small groups for different classes taught by different parents. One mom from Argentina taught soccer in the park, while another taught biology. One got an Israeli ex-commando to teach Krav Maga (Israeli martial arts) in her home. Homeschooled kids can continue to socialize with kids on the block, kids from shul, etc. Pen pals, either the old-fashioned way or via email, can also be developed. Depending on where you live, there can be after-school extracurricular activities available to the community at large, not just students of a particular school. "When a child cannot thrive in school for whatever reason, parents should know that there is another choice with many resources that they can use..." MASTER OF CEREMONIES NAOMI NACHMAN The Aussie Gourmet & Host of Table for Two, NSN JUDGING PANEL ELAN KORNBLUM A DAY IN THE LIFE So what is a day in the life of a homeschooled child like? Most parents start the day at nine, just like a regular school day. Yehudis believes that the children—at least the younger ones—enjoy davening at home more than in school, because while at home they would often discuss the meaning of tefillah, children in school often have no idea what they are saying. She also splits her day by the standard Hebrew and English subjects; if either parent is not very good at a particular subject, the children can take classes on those subjects, or the parents can look up one of the many online resources. “I did not try to make sure they were up to grade level until at least age 10. Don’t push - just make sure they are not getting stuck. We were learning at their own pace, which was fine with me.” Perry starts at 9:30. Her son’s teacher instructs until 1, then the Rebbe arrives and teaches until 4. “In 6 months, he went from preschool level to grade four level. I 62 | fyimagazineny.com can definitely say it was great for me as a mother that I was able to be hands-on and give my input.” I agree with Shoshana when she says, “It's unfortunate that in the Frum world there is a negative stigma associated with homeschooling. I would love to see homeschooling be viewed as just another legitimate, valid option, no different than choosing between the two community schools that everyone else goes to.” Homeschooling may not be for everyone, but neither is a traditional classroom setting. When a child cannot thrive in school for whatever reason, parents should know that there is another choice, with many resources that they can use to give their child one of the greatest gifts of all: the ability to learn al pi darko, at their pace and on their level. fyi Perry Kirszner is starting a school for her son and other high-functioning autistic boys in Monsey.  If you are interested in joining or wish to contact her for advice, she can be reached through FYI. ITTA WERDIGER-ROTH JEFF NATHAN LEVANA KIRSCHENBAUM Great Kosher Restaurants Professional Chef Executive Chef & Co-Owner, Abigael’s Chef, Instructor & Cookbook Author ‘STUMP THE CHEF’ CONTESTANTS DINI KLEIN MELINDA STRAUSS RAIZY FRIED SHIFRA KLEIN Dini Delivers Kitchen Tested Raizy's Cookin’ Editor-in-Chief, Joy of Kosher Magazine All proceeds to support Laniado Hospital’s new Birthing Center in Netanya, Israel. America’s Largest Independent Jewish Weekly A PROJECT OF THE AMERICAN FRIENDS OF LANIADO HOSPITAL @womenscookoff
Join us for a live cooking challenge...  THE GRAND WOMEN   S applies even if the parents are not teachers or have no teach...
Join us for a live cooking challenge... THE GRAND WOMEN’S applies even if the parents are not teachers or have no teaching degree. A greater percentage of homeschooled children will attend college compared to the general population. They are also more likely to be active in their communities, and a higher percentage of them report being “very happy” with life. That being said, I was curious to learn how homeschooling parents ensured that their children received adequate socialization. Elise did not go out of her way, since that would mean an extensive commute. “But living in a family, people can learn how to respect and help one another, and to exchange ideas, can't they?” Yehudis would arrange meet-ups with children from other homeschooling families and they would go on different outings. At the point where her children did need a more active and involved social life, at around sixth grade, she did switch them to regular schools. Shoshana homeschooled her son for three years. He also socialized with different homeschool groups. “Bottom line, if there are enough homeschoolers in the area, they can socialize with each other. They can also form small groups for different classes taught by different parents. One mom from Argentina taught soccer in the park, while another taught biology. One got an Israeli ex-commando to teach Krav Maga (Israeli martial arts) in her home. Homeschooled kids can continue to socialize with kids on the block, kids from shul, etc. Pen pals, either the old-fashioned way or via email, can also be developed. Depending on where you live, there can be after-school extracurricular activities available to the community at large, not just students of a particular school. "When a child cannot thrive in school for whatever reason, parents should know that there is another choice with many resources that they can use..." MASTER OF CEREMONIES NAOMI NACHMAN The Aussie Gourmet & Host of Table for Two, NSN JUDGING PANEL ELAN KORNBLUM A DAY IN THE LIFE So what is a day in the life of a homeschooled child like? Most parents start the day at nine, just like a regular school day. Yehudis believes that the children—at least the younger ones—enjoy davening at home more than in school, because while at home they would often discuss the meaning of tefillah, children in school often have no idea what they are saying. She also splits her day by the standard Hebrew and English subjects; if either parent is not very good at a particular subject, the children can take classes on those subjects, or the parents can look up one of the many online resources. “I did not try to make sure they were up to grade level until at least age 10. Don’t push - just make sure they are not getting stuck. We were learning at their own pace, which was fine with me.” Perry starts at 9:30. Her son’s teacher instructs until 1, then the Rebbe arrives and teaches until 4. “In 6 months, he went from preschool level to grade four level. I 62 | fyimagazineny.com can definitely say it was great for me as a mother that I was able to be hands-on and give my input.” I agree with Shoshana when she says, “It's unfortunate that in the Frum world there is a negative stigma associated with homeschooling. I would love to see homeschooling be viewed as just another legitimate, valid option, no different than choosing between the two community schools that everyone else goes to.” Homeschooling may not be for everyone, but neither is a traditional classroom setting. When a child cannot thrive in school for whatever reason, parents should know that there is another choice, with many resources that they can use to give their child one of the greatest gifts of all: the ability to learn al pi darko, at their pace and on their level. fyi Perry Kirszner is starting a school for her son and other high-functioning autistic boys in Monsey.  If you are interested in joining or wish to contact her for advice, she can be reached through FYI. ITTA WERDIGER-ROTH JEFF NATHAN LEVANA KIRSCHENBAUM Great Kosher Restaurants Professional Chef Executive Chef & Co-Owner, Abigael’s Chef, Instructor & Cookbook Author ‘STUMP THE CHEF’ CONTESTANTS DINI KLEIN MELINDA STRAUSS RAIZY FRIED SHIFRA KLEIN Dini Delivers Kitchen Tested Raizy's Cookin’ Editor-in-Chief, Joy of Kosher Magazine All proceeds to support Laniado Hospital’s new Birthing Center in Netanya, Israel. America’s Largest Independent Jewish Weekly A PROJECT OF THE AMERICAN FRIENDS OF LANIADO HOSPITAL @womenscookoff
Join us for a live cooking challenge...  THE GRAND WOMEN   S applies even if the parents are not teachers or have no teach...
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You? Written By Chani Miller A certain business owner is in need of a supervisor. He’s looking for somebody with good communication skills, someone who can set a policy and stick to it, a logical thinker with a head for business. Avi seems like a great guy and candidate for the job. The two got along well at the interview, and Avi took the right courses and aced them. It seems that he would be the perfect hire, right? Not so fast. Let's take a bit of a look at what his handwriting says. 64 | fyimagazineny.com 65 | fyimagazineny.com
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You  Written By Chani Miller  A certain business owner is in need of a supervisor. He...
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You? Written By Chani Miller A certain business owner is in need of a supervisor. He’s looking for somebody with good communication skills, someone who can set a policy and stick to it, a logical thinker with a head for business. Avi seems like a great guy and candidate for the job. The two got along well at the interview, and Avi took the right courses and aced them. It seems that he would be the perfect hire, right? Not so fast. Let's take a bit of a look at what his handwriting says. 64 | fyimagazineny.com 65 | fyimagazineny.com
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You  Written By Chani Miller  A certain business owner is in need of a supervisor. He...
A C B D H ave you ever noticed that when first-graders write a row of b’s in their notebooks, all the letters look alike? But if you look at the notes of a classroom full of high school students, there is no resemblance between any handwriting at all! Why is that? “The first grader is using his mind to follow the teacher’s directions--straight up, then a little curl, whereas the high school student knows all that already,” explains Yaakov Rosenthal, renowned graphologist. “It’s his ‘life force’ that is guiding his pen. It is our inborn personality combined with the experiences we have had, plus our way of approaching those experiences. It is we, the inner we, that creates handwriting. Handwritings are as individual as our facial features.” Take a look at this writing from Avi (A), the applicant for the supervisor job mentioned above. Note how his writing begins at the very top of the page. A healthy margin indicates respect for others and a supervisor has to conform to basic company policy where he would be expected to respect the abilities and talents of those below him. Is someone who lacks this basic respect good for the job? Also, notice Avi’s “roller coaster” lines, which indicate insecurity. Teenagers are often unsure of themselves and where they want to go; therefore uneven base lines are more typical for this age group. However, a mature individual should be able to make decisions with confidence. It looks like Avi will always be looking over his shoulder to see which way the wind is blowing. One moment he is confident, and then a perceived frown from a co-worker and he’s insecure again. Up…down…up again…down again. Not the best personality for a supervisor. Sometimes marital problems bring a couple to a graphologist. People tend to take their spouse’s statements and actions at face value. Sarah is often in tears, feeling that her husband is 66 | fyimagazineny.com constantly criticizing her. David is at a loss how to handle the situation. “After all,” he asks, “can’t a person make an innocent comment like, ‘we’re out of tuna’ without his wife falling apart?” Let’s take a look at Sarah’s handwriting (B). Sarah made a mistake in her writing and felt like she had to completely block it off into a blob. A simple line would have done the trick, but she was not able to face her error and needed to hide it. “I’ll cover it up. No one will know.” With this and many other points, Rosenthal was able to show David how his wife viewed a mistake as a total collapse of her self-image. We’re all different, and as long as we can function normally, there is no right or wrong way. But often, it’s hard to understand another person whose needs differ from your own. In a perfect world, people would accept each other’s differences and relate accordingly. This is especially true of siblings, if they are mature enough, since they understand each other so well when living in such close proximity. In every home, peace and joy reign, with happy sounds of everyone getting along... Right? Okay, now let’s get real. We know that’s not the case. Here’s one of the reasons why. Take a look at these two samples (C & D). A bit of analysis shows differences that not only make it difficult for each person to live with, but most likely they are not even aware of the dissimilarities. See how the first writing (C) has almost no space between the words, but the second (D) has unusually large spaces. Words are like people. Some of us need people close by, always, and we’re out of sorts if we don’t get our “social fix.” It’s the gas that gets us going again after an exhausting day. Some of us communicate well with others but need a different type of gas: plenty of “alone time” to re-energize. If the wife of the latter type suggests inviting a few couples over for dinner as her husband walks in the door after a long day, watch out. Explosion ahead. Big time. E Mother/ Relationship with the self Outside World Father Start On the other hand, Leah, the first writer, wonders why her friend Malky avoids her most of the time when she calls and texts her. Leah craves closeness, not realizing that she is encroaching on Malky’s personal space when she brings up subjects too personal for Malky to feel comfortable discussing. 67 | fyimagazineny.com One of the most crucial aspects of developing our psyche is self-image. Who am I? As you may have guessed, the word ‘I” is a prime indicator of where one is at. (E) A full top loop about half the height of the letter shows a healthy relationship with one’s mother. Ditto for father with the side loop. The last line relates to the “tools” acquired during childhood to make it in the world. Even the i dots speak. A dot precisely over the stem may indicate attention to detail, a dot to the left may be caution or procrastination, and to the right, perhaps impulsivity. A low dot may show the writer to be assertive. One little word says a mouthful about the one who’s writing it. A trained expert can obtain a complete picture by analyzing different factors. Here are a couple of samples from hundreds: a right-handed person whose writing leans a bit to the right may be energetic or emotional, and a bit to the left may be cautious or slow to trust others.
A  C  B D  H  ave you ever noticed that when first-graders write a row of b   s in their notebooks, all the letters look a...
A C B D H ave you ever noticed that when first-graders write a row of b’s in their notebooks, all the letters look alike? But if you look at the notes of a classroom full of high school students, there is no resemblance between any handwriting at all! Why is that? “The first grader is using his mind to follow the teacher’s directions--straight up, then a little curl, whereas the high school student knows all that already,” explains Yaakov Rosenthal, renowned graphologist. “It’s his ‘life force’ that is guiding his pen. It is our inborn personality combined with the experiences we have had, plus our way of approaching those experiences. It is we, the inner we, that creates handwriting. Handwritings are as individual as our facial features.” Take a look at this writing from Avi (A), the applicant for the supervisor job mentioned above. Note how his writing begins at the very top of the page. A healthy margin indicates respect for others and a supervisor has to conform to basic company policy where he would be expected to respect the abilities and talents of those below him. Is someone who lacks this basic respect good for the job? Also, notice Avi’s “roller coaster” lines, which indicate insecurity. Teenagers are often unsure of themselves and where they want to go; therefore uneven base lines are more typical for this age group. However, a mature individual should be able to make decisions with confidence. It looks like Avi will always be looking over his shoulder to see which way the wind is blowing. One moment he is confident, and then a perceived frown from a co-worker and he’s insecure again. Up…down…up again…down again. Not the best personality for a supervisor. Sometimes marital problems bring a couple to a graphologist. People tend to take their spouse’s statements and actions at face value. Sarah is often in tears, feeling that her husband is 66 | fyimagazineny.com constantly criticizing her. David is at a loss how to handle the situation. “After all,” he asks, “can’t a person make an innocent comment like, ‘we’re out of tuna’ without his wife falling apart?” Let’s take a look at Sarah’s handwriting (B). Sarah made a mistake in her writing and felt like she had to completely block it off into a blob. A simple line would have done the trick, but she was not able to face her error and needed to hide it. “I’ll cover it up. No one will know.” With this and many other points, Rosenthal was able to show David how his wife viewed a mistake as a total collapse of her self-image. We’re all different, and as long as we can function normally, there is no right or wrong way. But often, it’s hard to understand another person whose needs differ from your own. In a perfect world, people would accept each other’s differences and relate accordingly. This is especially true of siblings, if they are mature enough, since they understand each other so well when living in such close proximity. In every home, peace and joy reign, with happy sounds of everyone getting along... Right? Okay, now let’s get real. We know that’s not the case. Here’s one of the reasons why. Take a look at these two samples (C & D). A bit of analysis shows differences that not only make it difficult for each person to live with, but most likely they are not even aware of the dissimilarities. See how the first writing (C) has almost no space between the words, but the second (D) has unusually large spaces. Words are like people. Some of us need people close by, always, and we’re out of sorts if we don’t get our “social fix.” It’s the gas that gets us going again after an exhausting day. Some of us communicate well with others but need a different type of gas: plenty of “alone time” to re-energize. If the wife of the latter type suggests inviting a few couples over for dinner as her husband walks in the door after a long day, watch out. Explosion ahead. Big time. E Mother/ Relationship with the self Outside World Father Start On the other hand, Leah, the first writer, wonders why her friend Malky avoids her most of the time when she calls and texts her. Leah craves closeness, not realizing that she is encroaching on Malky’s personal space when she brings up subjects too personal for Malky to feel comfortable discussing. 67 | fyimagazineny.com One of the most crucial aspects of developing our psyche is self-image. Who am I? As you may have guessed, the word ‘I” is a prime indicator of where one is at. (E) A full top loop about half the height of the letter shows a healthy relationship with one’s mother. Ditto for father with the side loop. The last line relates to the “tools” acquired during childhood to make it in the world. Even the i dots speak. A dot precisely over the stem may indicate attention to detail, a dot to the left may be caution or procrastination, and to the right, perhaps impulsivity. A low dot may show the writer to be assertive. One little word says a mouthful about the one who’s writing it. A trained expert can obtain a complete picture by analyzing different factors. Here are a couple of samples from hundreds: a right-handed person whose writing leans a bit to the right may be energetic or emotional, and a bit to the left may be cautious or slow to trust others.
A  C  B D  H  ave you ever noticed that when first-graders write a row of b   s in their notebooks, all the letters look a...
you gotta know SELF-CONSCIOUS Shown by the increasing height of the humps on the m’s and n’s. When the second hump is higher than the first, this person has a fear of being ridiculed and tends to worry what others might think when around strangers. TALK ATIVE Open circle letters such as a’s and o’s. The less connected the upper part of these letters are, the more they just want to move their mouth. Sometimes they will talk just to hear their own voice. GRAPHOLOGY Graphology is a complex science. Becoming a Handwriting Analyst requires years of studying. Twelve years ago, Yaakov Rosenthal was asked to speak at a Yeshiva for teens. When the session was over, he informed the principal that he wanted to return the next week to follow up with the kids. “But I can’t pay you for another week,” answered the principal, as it wasn’t financially possible. Mr. Rosenthal returned anyway, without the paycheck, to determine for himself if he could learn to understand the inner workings of the teen psyche, and perhaps help the young people in their struggles. After the graphology session, he would gently inform the teen about what the young boy may not have fully understood himself. Seeing that “the secret is out,” the teen would often use the opportunity to talk, and talk, and talk some more. It was often the first opportunity that the adolescent had to unburden himself and come to terms with himself and how he dealt with his circumstances. “Is it possible for a graphologist to recognize his friend by his handwriting if he’s never seen his handwriting before?” I ask. Mr. Rosenthal answers by means of a story which happened while doing a group analysis. 68 | fyimagazineny.com ARGUMENTATIVE Shown by the break-away p with a high beginning stroke. This person likes to argue. The trait will be increased if the writer is also analytical, irritated, sarcastic, stubborn, and/or impulsive. CONCENTRATION Extremely small writing. People that write tiny have the ability to shut everything out of their mind and fully concentrate on one thing at a time. Often, on a first impression, these people seem reserved. Intense focus. 5 0 EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWN Shown by a consistent leftward slant. The upstrokes and slant are a minimum of 90 degrees from the baseline. An introvert. This person keeps his own counsel, rarely expresses feelings, and makes logical unemotional decisions. TEMPER Shown by a t-bar that is crossed predominantly on the right side of the stem. The more it occurs, the easier irritation will cause them to lose control of their emotions. If combined with a heavy right slant, they will blow up quickly when under stress. AGGRESSIVE Shown by hard right upstrokes that replace a lower loop. The aggressive person pushes forward into the future asserting himself physically. Often this person needs physically aggressive outlets such as competitive sports or even violence. PROCRASTINATION A t-bar that is crossed predominately on the left side of the stem. Procrastinators will put off tomorrow what could have been done today. This trait is one factor of laziness. Using only anonymous numbers as identification, each subject wrote on a piece of paper. Yaakov then analyzed the writing one at a time. After each analysis was done, many in the group would call out, “That sounds like Chaya. That sounds like Dina.” And so it seems that handwriting, to the expert, is as distinguishable as the face! Analysis is fun but it can also be quite serious. Take Moishe, whose principal was one short step from expelling him. “He’s nothing but trouble- in the classroom and out of the classroom. Not five minutes go by without the rebbe having to interrupt, once again, to get him to stop whatever his latest idea of disrupting the class was. His teacher spoke to him, I’ve spoken to him, and he always promises to improve but it never happens.” After studying a sample of Moishe’s handwriting, Yaakov said in his soft-spoken way, “You’re angry, aren’t you?” Chaos. That’s what Yaakov saw. Moishe looked up in surprise, responding “It’s hard to be angry. It eats you up inside. It makes you do things you don’t really want to do.” Moishe didn’t have to decide whether or not to confide in Yaakov. His handwriting had already done it for him. It didn’t happen right away. It took weeks and months, but eventually, the story came out. Abuse. Anger. Hidden anger. Anger that couldn’t be expressed. Moishe no longer has one foot out of the school doors. He’ll be forever grateful that his handwriting said for him what he was incapable of verbalizing on his own. Want to try your hand? Take a look at your handwriting - something that’s already been written before you read this. What do you think? Can you analyze it? Just remember not to take your own beginner’s analysis seriously. Have fun! fyi Yaakov Rosenthal is a certified graphologist and life coach since 1992. He uses these skills during his consultations in high schools and summer camps around the country, where he coaches hundreds of teenagers annually. Yaakov completed his BA in psychology at Hofstra University and later received accreditation from the Manhattan School of Graphology, where he was mentored by the late Felix Klein, one of the world’s most renowned authorities on graphology. Yaakov has shared his skill on a regular basis with psychologists, guidance counselors, social workers, lawyers, dating services, and Fortune 500 companies. Check out his book “Unlock The Secret World of Teenagers” available on amazon. Yaakov can be reached at 718-710-9459 or info@understandyourteenager.com
you gotta know SELF-CONSCIOUS Shown by the increasing height of the humps on the m   s and n   s. When the second hump is ...
you gotta know SELF-CONSCIOUS Shown by the increasing height of the humps on the m’s and n’s. When the second hump is higher than the first, this person has a fear of being ridiculed and tends to worry what others might think when around strangers. TALK ATIVE Open circle letters such as a’s and o’s. The less connected the upper part of these letters are, the more they just want to move their mouth. Sometimes they will talk just to hear their own voice. GRAPHOLOGY Graphology is a complex science. Becoming a Handwriting Analyst requires years of studying. Twelve years ago, Yaakov Rosenthal was asked to speak at a Yeshiva for teens. When the session was over, he informed the principal that he wanted to return the next week to follow up with the kids. “But I can’t pay you for another week,” answered the principal, as it wasn’t financially possible. Mr. Rosenthal returned anyway, without the paycheck, to determine for himself if he could learn to understand the inner workings of the teen psyche, and perhaps help the young people in their struggles. After the graphology session, he would gently inform the teen about what the young boy may not have fully understood himself. Seeing that “the secret is out,” the teen would often use the opportunity to talk, and talk, and talk some more. It was often the first opportunity that the adolescent had to unburden himself and come to terms with himself and how he dealt with his circumstances. “Is it possible for a graphologist to recognize his friend by his handwriting if he’s never seen his handwriting before?” I ask. Mr. Rosenthal answers by means of a story which happened while doing a group analysis. 68 | fyimagazineny.com ARGUMENTATIVE Shown by the break-away p with a high beginning stroke. This person likes to argue. The trait will be increased if the writer is also analytical, irritated, sarcastic, stubborn, and/or impulsive. CONCENTRATION Extremely small writing. People that write tiny have the ability to shut everything out of their mind and fully concentrate on one thing at a time. Often, on a first impression, these people seem reserved. Intense focus. 5 0 EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWN Shown by a consistent leftward slant. The upstrokes and slant are a minimum of 90 degrees from the baseline. An introvert. This person keeps his own counsel, rarely expresses feelings, and makes logical unemotional decisions. TEMPER Shown by a t-bar that is crossed predominantly on the right side of the stem. The more it occurs, the easier irritation will cause them to lose control of their emotions. If combined with a heavy right slant, they will blow up quickly when under stress. AGGRESSIVE Shown by hard right upstrokes that replace a lower loop. The aggressive person pushes forward into the future asserting himself physically. Often this person needs physically aggressive outlets such as competitive sports or even violence. PROCRASTINATION A t-bar that is crossed predominately on the left side of the stem. Procrastinators will put off tomorrow what could have been done today. This trait is one factor of laziness. Using only anonymous numbers as identification, each subject wrote on a piece of paper. Yaakov then analyzed the writing one at a time. After each analysis was done, many in the group would call out, “That sounds like Chaya. That sounds like Dina.” And so it seems that handwriting, to the expert, is as distinguishable as the face! Analysis is fun but it can also be quite serious. Take Moishe, whose principal was one short step from expelling him. “He’s nothing but trouble- in the classroom and out of the classroom. Not five minutes go by without the rebbe having to interrupt, once again, to get him to stop whatever his latest idea of disrupting the class was. His teacher spoke to him, I’ve spoken to him, and he always promises to improve but it never happens.” After studying a sample of Moishe’s handwriting, Yaakov said in his soft-spoken way, “You’re angry, aren’t you?” Chaos. That’s what Yaakov saw. Moishe looked up in surprise, responding “It’s hard to be angry. It eats you up inside. It makes you do things you don’t really want to do.” Moishe didn’t have to decide whether or not to confide in Yaakov. His handwriting had already done it for him. It didn’t happen right away. It took weeks and months, but eventually, the story came out. Abuse. Anger. Hidden anger. Anger that couldn’t be expressed. Moishe no longer has one foot out of the school doors. He’ll be forever grateful that his handwriting said for him what he was incapable of verbalizing on his own. Want to try your hand? Take a look at your handwriting - something that’s already been written before you read this. What do you think? Can you analyze it? Just remember not to take your own beginner’s analysis seriously. Have fun! fyi Yaakov Rosenthal is a certified graphologist and life coach since 1992. He uses these skills during his consultations in high schools and summer camps around the country, where he coaches hundreds of teenagers annually. Yaakov completed his BA in psychology at Hofstra University and later received accreditation from the Manhattan School of Graphology, where he was mentored by the late Felix Klein, one of the world’s most renowned authorities on graphology. Yaakov has shared his skill on a regular basis with psychologists, guidance counselors, social workers, lawyers, dating services, and Fortune 500 companies. Check out his book “Unlock The Secret World of Teenagers” available on amazon. Yaakov can be reached at 718-710-9459 or info@understandyourteenager.com
you gotta know SELF-CONSCIOUS Shown by the increasing height of the humps on the m   s and n   s. When the second hump is ...
INSIGHTS ON LEARNING PROBLEMS LOOK OUT FOR VISION-RELATED LEARNING DISORDERS WRITTEN BY DEBBIE BURACK DID YOU KNOW that according to the American Optometric Association, more than 60% of children who have difficulty learning suffer from an undiagnosed vision problem, which is not detected by routine vision screening? 70 | fyimagazineny.com 71 | fyimagazineny.com
INSIGHTS ON  LEARNING PROBLEMS LOOK OUT FOR VISION-RELATED LEARNING DISORDERS WRITTEN BY DEBBIE BURACK  DID YOU KNOW that ...
INSIGHTS ON LEARNING PROBLEMS LOOK OUT FOR VISION-RELATED LEARNING DISORDERS WRITTEN BY DEBBIE BURACK DID YOU KNOW that according to the American Optometric Association, more than 60% of children who have difficulty learning suffer from an undiagnosed vision problem, which is not detected by routine vision screening? 70 | fyimagazineny.com 71 | fyimagazineny.com
INSIGHTS ON  LEARNING PROBLEMS LOOK OUT FOR VISION-RELATED LEARNING DISORDERS WRITTEN BY DEBBIE BURACK  DID YOU KNOW that ...
T hroughout nursery school and pre-kindergarten, Benzion’s development was perfectly on par with the rest of the boys in his class. He played normally, behaved normally, demonstrated good motor skills and absorbed all of the elementary foundations of learning just like everyone else. Until he began to learn how to read, that is. For the first time, Benzion lagged behind the rest of the class. His mother, Mrs. Reva Guttman, was concerned by the slow pace of his progress; however, his teacher reassured her that some kids just need more time to get the hang of reading. Time, though, only seemed to highlight the depth of his difficulties. Later in the school year, Benzion returned home with exercises that had full paragraphs of text, yet he was still struggling to string a few syllables together. Reva contacted his teacher again, who held fast to his belief that Benzion’s reading skills would eventually click into place. As a parent who also had years of experience as a remedial writing specialist, Reva wasn’t convinced. She contacted the principal and requested an evaluation to test Benzion for a learning disability. Her request was approved, but when she called the education expert to schedule an appointment, he informed her that he wouldn’t conduct his preliminary assessment until Benzion had a comprehensive vision and eye exam. LEARNING DISABILITY VS. VISION-RELATED LEARNING PROBLEM When a child demonstrates an impaired ability to function in the classroom, it could be due to the brain’s misinterpretation of images sent by the eyes, or it may be due to a problem with how the child sees the images. “A true learning disability originates from an issue in the brain, and vision therapy or eyeglasses will not help; tutors and resource teachers are needed. Yet when learning problems are caused by a vision condition, this is not a learning disability. Vision correction and vision therapy can resolve many of these problems,” explains Dr. Liat Gantz, Director of the M.Optom program at the Department of Optometry and Vision Science at Hadassah Academic College. When a teacher or parent detects a child is having unusual difficulty with learning, the first reactive step should be visual acuity testing. A diagnosis of nearsightedness, farsightedness, or astigmatism (all corrected efficiently with eyeglasses), may take you instantly to the root of the problem. Trouble with reading and/or difficulties with copying off the board are typical signs of a refractive error. These are also examples of conditions that are often misconceived to be a learning disability. “It is critical to differentiate between a vision-related disorder and a learning disability,” stresses Gantz. 72 | fyimagazineny.com HOW TO VERIFY VISION AS THE CULPRIT Don’t make the mistake of thinking that every child who has trouble copying from the board suffers from a vision condition. Tasks such as this depend upon other skills too, and a grapho-motoric problem could just as easily be the reason. Conversely, just because a child has normal refractive vision (defined as 20/20) and can see the board clearly doesn’t mean there isn’t a problematic vision condition. Only a thorough eye exam that tests functional vision can confirm the need for vision therapy, and not the hunch of a parent or educator. Dr. Rachel Eichler Maron, OD, Director of the Vision Therapy Clinic, Hadassah Academic College, explains that every Doctor of Optometry degree program in the U.S. includes vision therapy as a part of the curriculum. In her studies at SUNY College of Optometry, NYC, everyone was taught how to perform the tests necessary to evaluate a child’s functional vision. “Professional testing includes a whole battery of exams to check for age norms. We do much more than ask your child to read an eye chart,” says Maron. When Benzion underwent his vision tests, his appointment became a memorable, life-changing event. Seated approximately five feet from the wall where simple images were being projected, the optometrist asked him to identify shape after shape, but he 73 | fyimagazineny.com
T  hroughout nursery school and pre-kindergarten, Benzion   s development was perfectly on par with the rest of the boys i...
T hroughout nursery school and pre-kindergarten, Benzion’s development was perfectly on par with the rest of the boys in his class. He played normally, behaved normally, demonstrated good motor skills and absorbed all of the elementary foundations of learning just like everyone else. Until he began to learn how to read, that is. For the first time, Benzion lagged behind the rest of the class. His mother, Mrs. Reva Guttman, was concerned by the slow pace of his progress; however, his teacher reassured her that some kids just need more time to get the hang of reading. Time, though, only seemed to highlight the depth of his difficulties. Later in the school year, Benzion returned home with exercises that had full paragraphs of text, yet he was still struggling to string a few syllables together. Reva contacted his teacher again, who held fast to his belief that Benzion’s reading skills would eventually click into place. As a parent who also had years of experience as a remedial writing specialist, Reva wasn’t convinced. She contacted the principal and requested an evaluation to test Benzion for a learning disability. Her request was approved, but when she called the education expert to schedule an appointment, he informed her that he wouldn’t conduct his preliminary assessment until Benzion had a comprehensive vision and eye exam. LEARNING DISABILITY VS. VISION-RELATED LEARNING PROBLEM When a child demonstrates an impaired ability to function in the classroom, it could be due to the brain’s misinterpretation of images sent by the eyes, or it may be due to a problem with how the child sees the images. “A true learning disability originates from an issue in the brain, and vision therapy or eyeglasses will not help; tutors and resource teachers are needed. Yet when learning problems are caused by a vision condition, this is not a learning disability. Vision correction and vision therapy can resolve many of these problems,” explains Dr. Liat Gantz, Director of the M.Optom program at the Department of Optometry and Vision Science at Hadassah Academic College. When a teacher or parent detects a child is having unusual difficulty with learning, the first reactive step should be visual acuity testing. A diagnosis of nearsightedness, farsightedness, or astigmatism (all corrected efficiently with eyeglasses), may take you instantly to the root of the problem. Trouble with reading and/or difficulties with copying off the board are typical signs of a refractive error. These are also examples of conditions that are often misconceived to be a learning disability. “It is critical to differentiate between a vision-related disorder and a learning disability,” stresses Gantz. 72 | fyimagazineny.com HOW TO VERIFY VISION AS THE CULPRIT Don’t make the mistake of thinking that every child who has trouble copying from the board suffers from a vision condition. Tasks such as this depend upon other skills too, and a grapho-motoric problem could just as easily be the reason. Conversely, just because a child has normal refractive vision (defined as 20/20) and can see the board clearly doesn’t mean there isn’t a problematic vision condition. Only a thorough eye exam that tests functional vision can confirm the need for vision therapy, and not the hunch of a parent or educator. Dr. Rachel Eichler Maron, OD, Director of the Vision Therapy Clinic, Hadassah Academic College, explains that every Doctor of Optometry degree program in the U.S. includes vision therapy as a part of the curriculum. In her studies at SUNY College of Optometry, NYC, everyone was taught how to perform the tests necessary to evaluate a child’s functional vision. “Professional testing includes a whole battery of exams to check for age norms. We do much more than ask your child to read an eye chart,” says Maron. When Benzion underwent his vision tests, his appointment became a memorable, life-changing event. Seated approximately five feet from the wall where simple images were being projected, the optometrist asked him to identify shape after shape, but he 73 | fyimagazineny.com
T  hroughout nursery school and pre-kindergarten, Benzion   s development was perfectly on par with the rest of the boys i...
sat silently. Finally he exclaimed, “I can’t see them!” He had spent a whole year trying to read the alphabet, yet never shared the fact that he couldn’t tell the difference between a horizontal or vertical line. After being diagnosed with astigmatism, lazy eye, and convergence insufficiency, Benzion was prescribed eyeglasses and his stronger eye was patched for about nine months. During this time, he participated in vision therapy and practiced eye exercises at home. As his weaker eye became progressively stronger, his prescription lenses had to be replaced a number of times – and many vision exams were performed. By the start of the next year, Benzion had caught up and was reading with the rest of his class. FUNCTIONAL VISION: A 3-PIECE PUZZLE Functional vision is composed of three defined parts, all of which come together to give you crisp and clear sight. Eye mobility and coordination is critical for healthy eyesight. Amblyopia, usually called “lazy eye”, is a familiar example of what happens when eye muscles and mobility aren’t strong. The presence of lazy eye is often recognized easily, yet mild cases may go unnoticed. When learning, poor eye mobility can manifest as a tendency to skip lines and letters, and to lose your place when reading. One common way to assess eye movement is to ask the child to read aloud. 74 | fyimagazineny.com CHALLENGED BY COLOR As told by Rivka Shore Binocularity, also known as eye teaming, is another significant part of functional vision. “In order to do close-up work, your eyes need to work together. When this fusion isn’t easy or smooth, it’s called a convergence insufficiency,” Maron says. A child with convergence insufficiency often complains of headaches, and reading will be a dreaded chore. “It is estimated that 5% of all school-aged children in America have convergence insufficiency. The most common complaint that we hear is: the words are moving around on the page. Sometimes the child will manage to read an assigned text, but so much energy will be spent on the visual technicalities that comprehension is very poor. School performance suffers terribly as a result.” In the case of convergence insufficiency, the longer it goes untreated, the more difficult it becomes to treat. What started out as a muscular problem often progresses into a neurological problem too, and the brain will need retraining to accept information from two eyes, instead of ignoring signals sent from the weaker eye. Accommodation is the third necessary visual skill. This refers to your ability to focus on images at various distances. Without strong accommodation – executed at the proper speed and efficiency – consistent, clear sight is impossible. 75 | fyimagazineny.com At age 3, our son’s speech wasn’t clear and we were advised to take him for speech therapy to help with enunciation. The sessions were very helpful, and it became easier for him to communicate well. Yet two years later, his learning struggles seemed to return when he began to read. Fortunately, he was referred for a complete vision evaluation, which revealed that he had lazy eye and also needed eyeglasses with cylinders. Vision correction helped, yet it didn’t solve his learning problems totally. He was still incapable of describing or identifying many objects correctly, and he couldn’t grasp how to play simple board games for kids. A remedial specialist was called upon to work with our son to improve his word recall. This time though, the therapy didn’t affect any improvement. After observing him for long while, my family suddenly realized that he wasn’t struggling to find the right word – he was struggling to see the right colors! We promptly brought him to an eye doctor, and our son was diagnosed with complete red-green Color Vision Deficiency. At present, there is no cure for this disorder, although recent advances with specialized eyeglasses are promising. In the meantime though, we learned to be sensitive to his condition, and we only play games with blue and yellow pieces! While color blindness isn’t an official learning-related vision problem, it can certainly cause problems in the classroom for young kids.
sat silently. Finally he exclaimed,    I can   t see them     He had spent a whole year trying to read the alphabet, yet n...
sat silently. Finally he exclaimed, “I can’t see them!” He had spent a whole year trying to read the alphabet, yet never shared the fact that he couldn’t tell the difference between a horizontal or vertical line. After being diagnosed with astigmatism, lazy eye, and convergence insufficiency, Benzion was prescribed eyeglasses and his stronger eye was patched for about nine months. During this time, he participated in vision therapy and practiced eye exercises at home. As his weaker eye became progressively stronger, his prescription lenses had to be replaced a number of times – and many vision exams were performed. By the start of the next year, Benzion had caught up and was reading with the rest of his class. FUNCTIONAL VISION: A 3-PIECE PUZZLE Functional vision is composed of three defined parts, all of which come together to give you crisp and clear sight. Eye mobility and coordination is critical for healthy eyesight. Amblyopia, usually called “lazy eye”, is a familiar example of what happens when eye muscles and mobility aren’t strong. The presence of lazy eye is often recognized easily, yet mild cases may go unnoticed. When learning, poor eye mobility can manifest as a tendency to skip lines and letters, and to lose your place when reading. One common way to assess eye movement is to ask the child to read aloud. 74 | fyimagazineny.com CHALLENGED BY COLOR As told by Rivka Shore Binocularity, also known as eye teaming, is another significant part of functional vision. “In order to do close-up work, your eyes need to work together. When this fusion isn’t easy or smooth, it’s called a convergence insufficiency,” Maron says. A child with convergence insufficiency often complains of headaches, and reading will be a dreaded chore. “It is estimated that 5% of all school-aged children in America have convergence insufficiency. The most common complaint that we hear is: the words are moving around on the page. Sometimes the child will manage to read an assigned text, but so much energy will be spent on the visual technicalities that comprehension is very poor. School performance suffers terribly as a result.” In the case of convergence insufficiency, the longer it goes untreated, the more difficult it becomes to treat. What started out as a muscular problem often progresses into a neurological problem too, and the brain will need retraining to accept information from two eyes, instead of ignoring signals sent from the weaker eye. Accommodation is the third necessary visual skill. This refers to your ability to focus on images at various distances. Without strong accommodation – executed at the proper speed and efficiency – consistent, clear sight is impossible. 75 | fyimagazineny.com At age 3, our son’s speech wasn’t clear and we were advised to take him for speech therapy to help with enunciation. The sessions were very helpful, and it became easier for him to communicate well. Yet two years later, his learning struggles seemed to return when he began to read. Fortunately, he was referred for a complete vision evaluation, which revealed that he had lazy eye and also needed eyeglasses with cylinders. Vision correction helped, yet it didn’t solve his learning problems totally. He was still incapable of describing or identifying many objects correctly, and he couldn’t grasp how to play simple board games for kids. A remedial specialist was called upon to work with our son to improve his word recall. This time though, the therapy didn’t affect any improvement. After observing him for long while, my family suddenly realized that he wasn’t struggling to find the right word – he was struggling to see the right colors! We promptly brought him to an eye doctor, and our son was diagnosed with complete red-green Color Vision Deficiency. At present, there is no cure for this disorder, although recent advances with specialized eyeglasses are promising. In the meantime though, we learned to be sensitive to his condition, and we only play games with blue and yellow pieces! While color blindness isn’t an official learning-related vision problem, it can certainly cause problems in the classroom for young kids.
sat silently. Finally he exclaimed,    I can   t see them     He had spent a whole year trying to read the alphabet, yet n...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes | All Things Kitchen Bracha Lebowitz’s story is a classic example of how accommodative insufficiency can suppress learning potential. Bracha had learned to read smoothly, yet she absolutely hated it. In her family of bookworms, everyone found this unusual but didn’t want to force the issue. At eight years old, she failed a school vision screening and was referred to a pediatric eye specialist. Bracha was diagnosed with weak accommodation. Although she had compensated for it and was doing fine in school, it was tiring her eyes and she couldn’t focus on close work for long. After months of vision therapy and eye exercises, her parents were thrilled to find her sitting alongside the rest of the family with a book in hand!     What’s interesting is that sometimes accommodation problems occur as a side-effect of the wondrous adaptability of a child’s developing visual system. “When children have extreme farsightedness that goes untreated by eyeglasses, their natural intraocular lens may respond by zooming in on objects, adding pluses to the vision. In this way, the child can see up-close. Yet over time this natural compensation will lead to severe eye fatigue and headaches. Also, when a child’s lens is zoomed in all day long, it eventually loses flexibility to switch focus between far and near sight. Trouble with accommodation is the end result,” explains Gantz. WATCH OUT FOR THESE WARNING SIGNS ROLE OF VISION THERAPY Vision therapy is a process, not a quick cure – and most definitely not a self-help remedy. Using a variety of instruments, exercises and techniques, certified therapists can teach and fortify functional vision. Diverse media are used, such as prisms, wands, specialized charts, swinging balls and computer programs (and a bunch of other incredibly cool tools!) Sessions generally last 45 minutes each, for a few months duration. Homework is always assigned, with exercises that need to be done approximately 4 times per week, 15 minutes each time. Improvement is typically noticed after about four sessions. When it’s agreed that therapy is no longer needed, a maintenance program of exercises will be designed. Follow-up evaluations are recommended, with detailed exams done at three months, six months, and then yearly. If any regression occurs, supplementary vision therapy may be advised. “Visual skills that are learned through vision therapy are similar to swimming; even if your muscles all work correctly, they have to coordinate properly for you to swim. You need to stay in shape, but once you learn how to do it, you never forget,” says Maron. fyi 76 | fyimagazineny.com Children don’t always know how things are supposed to appear, and especially at young ages – they can be very accepting. They may also be ashamed to simply admit that they can’t see. If you notice or they mention any of the following symptoms, it’s wise to book an appointment with an eye doctor: Prep Ahead! J Eye rubbing J Squinting, or closing one eye to see J Tearing up a lot J Needs to sit in the front of the room always J Normal reading distance is approximately 16 inches (40 cm), so your child should not be straining at this distance Yom Tov Recipes that you can make now and have later... for Rosh Hashanah and even Sukkos. These recipes freeze beautifully and are the perfect solution to a less stressfull Yom Tov Season. J Headaches, especially after reading for a while J Blurred vision, even with accurate prescription eyeglasses J Seeing double J Slow reading, rereads lines J Skips lines when reading J Confuses letters like b and d, when reading aloud J Poor reading comprehension PHOTOGRAPHY: SHEVY GROSS FOOD STYLING: RAIZY FRIED
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes   All Things Kitchen  Bracha Lebowitz   s story is a classic example of how accommodative in...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes | All Things Kitchen Bracha Lebowitz’s story is a classic example of how accommodative insufficiency can suppress learning potential. Bracha had learned to read smoothly, yet she absolutely hated it. In her family of bookworms, everyone found this unusual but didn’t want to force the issue. At eight years old, she failed a school vision screening and was referred to a pediatric eye specialist. Bracha was diagnosed with weak accommodation. Although she had compensated for it and was doing fine in school, it was tiring her eyes and she couldn’t focus on close work for long. After months of vision therapy and eye exercises, her parents were thrilled to find her sitting alongside the rest of the family with a book in hand!     What’s interesting is that sometimes accommodation problems occur as a side-effect of the wondrous adaptability of a child’s developing visual system. “When children have extreme farsightedness that goes untreated by eyeglasses, their natural intraocular lens may respond by zooming in on objects, adding pluses to the vision. In this way, the child can see up-close. Yet over time this natural compensation will lead to severe eye fatigue and headaches. Also, when a child’s lens is zoomed in all day long, it eventually loses flexibility to switch focus between far and near sight. Trouble with accommodation is the end result,” explains Gantz. WATCH OUT FOR THESE WARNING SIGNS ROLE OF VISION THERAPY Vision therapy is a process, not a quick cure – and most definitely not a self-help remedy. Using a variety of instruments, exercises and techniques, certified therapists can teach and fortify functional vision. Diverse media are used, such as prisms, wands, specialized charts, swinging balls and computer programs (and a bunch of other incredibly cool tools!) Sessions generally last 45 minutes each, for a few months duration. Homework is always assigned, with exercises that need to be done approximately 4 times per week, 15 minutes each time. Improvement is typically noticed after about four sessions. When it’s agreed that therapy is no longer needed, a maintenance program of exercises will be designed. Follow-up evaluations are recommended, with detailed exams done at three months, six months, and then yearly. If any regression occurs, supplementary vision therapy may be advised. “Visual skills that are learned through vision therapy are similar to swimming; even if your muscles all work correctly, they have to coordinate properly for you to swim. You need to stay in shape, but once you learn how to do it, you never forget,” says Maron. fyi 76 | fyimagazineny.com Children don’t always know how things are supposed to appear, and especially at young ages – they can be very accepting. They may also be ashamed to simply admit that they can’t see. If you notice or they mention any of the following symptoms, it’s wise to book an appointment with an eye doctor: Prep Ahead! J Eye rubbing J Squinting, or closing one eye to see J Tearing up a lot J Needs to sit in the front of the room always J Normal reading distance is approximately 16 inches (40 cm), so your child should not be straining at this distance Yom Tov Recipes that you can make now and have later... for Rosh Hashanah and even Sukkos. These recipes freeze beautifully and are the perfect solution to a less stressfull Yom Tov Season. J Headaches, especially after reading for a while J Blurred vision, even with accurate prescription eyeglasses J Seeing double J Slow reading, rereads lines J Skips lines when reading J Confuses letters like b and d, when reading aloud J Poor reading comprehension PHOTOGRAPHY: SHEVY GROSS FOOD STYLING: RAIZY FRIED
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Recipes   All Things Kitchen  Bracha Lebowitz   s story is a classic example of how accommodative in...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SOUP 1 SOUP 2 Butternut Squash Soup NAOMI NACHMAN | THE AUSSIE GOURMET This is my kids’ favorite soup. As we head into the fall and school starts up again, my kids look forward to coming off the school bus to this warm velvety soup. I serve it with some crusty bread for them to dip into the soup. This hearty soup would also be a great addition to your Yom Tov meals. 4 strips flanken Canola oil 2 large onions, diced 2 butternut squash, cubed 8 carrots, rings 2 cans chickpeas, drained ½ bunch cilantro (optional) Salt and pepper to taste HEAT enough canola oil to cover the bottom of a large soup pot. (About 8 quart.) When oil is hot, add flanken strips and sear for 5 minutes on each side, or until the meat releases itself. Set meat aside. PLACE all vegetables in the large pot for a few minutes. Add the meat and cilantro back in, then fill with water to the top of the vegetables and cook for 2 hours. TAKE OUT the meat as well as the bones, and reserve. (Discard bones.) Then with an immersion blender, blend the soup until smooth. TIP: For a more colorful garnishing option add fried, pastrami right before serving. SLICE the flanken into chunks and place pieces of meat in each bowl of soup when serving as a garnish. 78 | fyimagazineny.com 79 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SOUP 1  SOUP 2  Butternut Squash Soup NAOMI NACHMAN   THE AUSSIE GOURMET  Th...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SOUP 1 SOUP 2 Butternut Squash Soup NAOMI NACHMAN | THE AUSSIE GOURMET This is my kids’ favorite soup. As we head into the fall and school starts up again, my kids look forward to coming off the school bus to this warm velvety soup. I serve it with some crusty bread for them to dip into the soup. This hearty soup would also be a great addition to your Yom Tov meals. 4 strips flanken Canola oil 2 large onions, diced 2 butternut squash, cubed 8 carrots, rings 2 cans chickpeas, drained ½ bunch cilantro (optional) Salt and pepper to taste HEAT enough canola oil to cover the bottom of a large soup pot. (About 8 quart.) When oil is hot, add flanken strips and sear for 5 minutes on each side, or until the meat releases itself. Set meat aside. PLACE all vegetables in the large pot for a few minutes. Add the meat and cilantro back in, then fill with water to the top of the vegetables and cook for 2 hours. TAKE OUT the meat as well as the bones, and reserve. (Discard bones.) Then with an immersion blender, blend the soup until smooth. TIP: For a more colorful garnishing option add fried, pastrami right before serving. SLICE the flanken into chunks and place pieces of meat in each bowl of soup when serving as a garnish. 78 | fyimagazineny.com 79 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SOUP 1  SOUP 2  Butternut Squash Soup NAOMI NACHMAN   THE AUSSIE GOURMET  Th...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis ROAST 2 DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE AND CARROTS This recipe is amazing. It is so full of flavor, but is actually so healthy and easy to prepare. You can feed a large crowd using a cheaper cut of meat, because it’s so soft and succulent, you would ever know! Because this meat is braised, it hold ups perfectly in the freezer. So make a ton at once and then freeze in small batches to pull out for the yomim tovim as you need! 10 pieces of pepper steak, pounded thin 5 teaspoon dijon mustard, divided 3 cups broccoli florets, without stems 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper ¼ cup chopped chives 10, 12 inch pieces butcher's string (or toothpicks) ¼ teaspoon salt ⅛ teaspoon black pepper 2 tablespoon olive oil 2 large (or 3 medium carrots) roughly chopped 1 leek, roughly chopped 2 purple onions, sliced 1 garlic clove, halved ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 1 cup marsala wine 1 ½ cup beef stock 1 15 oz can tomato sauce LAY a large sheet of tinfoil on your countertop. Spread out pepper steaks, cover with saran wrap, and pound thin. SPREAD ½ teaspoon of dijon mustard on each piece of pepper steak. Season broccoli with salt and pepper. On one end of the pepper steaks, place a small pile of broccoli and scallions. Roll up pepper steaks and tie with butcher’s string (you can also use a toothpick to seal.) Season rolled up pepper steaks with salt and pepper. HEAT a medium sized pot over high heat. Add olive oil and sear meat rolls for 2-3 minutes on each side to form a golden brown seal. REMOVE from the pan and set aside. Add leek, onions, carrots, garlic, salt and pepper. Saute for 6-8 minutes until onions and leek soften and become translucent. Raise heat and pour in beef stock, scraping up any bits from the bottom of the pan. ADD the rest of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Return meat to pan and lower heat to a simmer. BAKE for 2 ½ hours, turning rolls over once in the middle. Remove from heat and allow meat to cool in the pan for two hours (this will keep meat moist.) 80 | fyimagazineny.com 81 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis  ROAST 2  DANIELLE RENOV   PEAS LOVE AND CAR...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis ROAST 2 DANIELLE RENOV | PEAS LOVE AND CARROTS This recipe is amazing. It is so full of flavor, but is actually so healthy and easy to prepare. You can feed a large crowd using a cheaper cut of meat, because it’s so soft and succulent, you would ever know! Because this meat is braised, it hold ups perfectly in the freezer. So make a ton at once and then freeze in small batches to pull out for the yomim tovim as you need! 10 pieces of pepper steak, pounded thin 5 teaspoon dijon mustard, divided 3 cups broccoli florets, without stems 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper ¼ cup chopped chives 10, 12 inch pieces butcher's string (or toothpicks) ¼ teaspoon salt ⅛ teaspoon black pepper 2 tablespoon olive oil 2 large (or 3 medium carrots) roughly chopped 1 leek, roughly chopped 2 purple onions, sliced 1 garlic clove, halved ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 1 cup marsala wine 1 ½ cup beef stock 1 15 oz can tomato sauce LAY a large sheet of tinfoil on your countertop. Spread out pepper steaks, cover with saran wrap, and pound thin. SPREAD ½ teaspoon of dijon mustard on each piece of pepper steak. Season broccoli with salt and pepper. On one end of the pepper steaks, place a small pile of broccoli and scallions. Roll up pepper steaks and tie with butcher’s string (you can also use a toothpick to seal.) Season rolled up pepper steaks with salt and pepper. HEAT a medium sized pot over high heat. Add olive oil and sear meat rolls for 2-3 minutes on each side to form a golden brown seal. REMOVE from the pan and set aside. Add leek, onions, carrots, garlic, salt and pepper. Saute for 6-8 minutes until onions and leek soften and become translucent. Raise heat and pour in beef stock, scraping up any bits from the bottom of the pan. ADD the rest of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Return meat to pan and lower heat to a simmer. BAKE for 2 ½ hours, turning rolls over once in the middle. Remove from heat and allow meat to cool in the pan for two hours (this will keep meat moist.) 80 | fyimagazineny.com 81 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Braised Pepper Steak Rollatinis  ROAST 2  DANIELLE RENOV   PEAS LOVE AND CAR...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE POTATOES 1 PEEL AND CUT potatoes2into large POTATOES pieces. Duchesse Potatoes SARA CHANA GRUSKIN | SHE COOKS THAT Duchesse potatoes are one of those things in life that just by it being, it makes a beautiful statement. With Duchesse Potatoes it all comes down to it's shape. With practice, you'll get it perfect. s t a to e et p o wo r k o t Ru s s siest a e rch e e th h sta f will b it s hig a stif o t u e du ive yo ple g m l with il a s d it w e to n e r a f , l t e n yukon of. Fe co n te o, like t k of f r a ier t o o w to ream of p base ou a c r kind y e h e t iv le o an st ab will g with ot a s gold ver, n ukon e Y pt at . w m o ld go el, h t a t te e s f ir h f t r you mou oes , I p ot a t . If it’s e s s t lt s u re s russe uch e with ing D o g u cr e at yo re mend you a until r e co m s e o . t ith it p ot a e nt w confid 2 lb potatoes 1/4 cup oil 4 egg yolks, beaten Freshly grated nutmeg, pinch (optional) Ground Black pepper, to taste Kosher salt, to taste BOIL potatoes in salted boiling water till tender. To test your potatoes: pierce through with a knife, and if it glides easily right through it, it's ready. DRAIN and dry them over low heat or on a sheet pan in a 300 degree oven till no more steam rises from them for about 10-15 minutes. While the potatoes are still hot, run them through a food mill, or mash them really fine using a potato masher or fork till it resembles a puree. ADD the oil and egg yolks. Season with nutmeg, salt and pepper, and mix well using a whisk. PREHEAT oven to 375. TRANSFER the mixture to a piping bag fitted with a 6/8 prong nozzle. Pipe the mixture to create Duchesse potatoes on a parchment lined baking sheet. Pipe them a few inches apart from each other, giving them room to cook well. Pipe 82 | fyimagazineny.com 83 | fyimagazineny.com out a base and work your way around and up, finishing off by blending it in on top. Don’t pipe it to tall or they will cave as they bake. stick the piped mixture into the freezer for 15 minutes to set. BRUSH the potatoes with the egg wash. BAKE in a preheated oven for 10-12 minutes until potatoes are golden brown and heated through about 10-12 minutes. These potatoes freeze really well. If you choose to freeze these in advance, once you finish piping them, wrap them well and freeze. To save precious space in your freezer, pipe them onto a parchment lined baking sheet then stick them in the freezer until frozen through. Once fully frozen, consolidate them all into one bag or pan to save on space. This recipe is a base to create Duchesse potatoes. Feel free to be creative and put your own spin on it- it leaves you room to be playful.
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  POTATOES 1  PEEL AND CUT potatoes2into large POTATOES pieces.  Duchesse Pota...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE POTATOES 1 PEEL AND CUT potatoes2into large POTATOES pieces. Duchesse Potatoes SARA CHANA GRUSKIN | SHE COOKS THAT Duchesse potatoes are one of those things in life that just by it being, it makes a beautiful statement. With Duchesse Potatoes it all comes down to it's shape. With practice, you'll get it perfect. s t a to e et p o wo r k o t Ru s s siest a e rch e e th h sta f will b it s hig a stif o t u e du ive yo ple g m l with il a s d it w e to n e r a f , l t e n yukon of. Fe co n te o, like t k of f r a ier t o o w to ream of p base ou a c r kind y e h e t iv le o an st ab will g with ot a s gold ver, n ukon e Y pt at . w m o ld go el, h t a t te e s f ir h f t r you mou oes , I p ot a t . If it’s e s s t lt s u re s russe uch e with ing D o g u cr e at yo re mend you a until r e co m s e o . t ith it p ot a e nt w confid 2 lb potatoes 1/4 cup oil 4 egg yolks, beaten Freshly grated nutmeg, pinch (optional) Ground Black pepper, to taste Kosher salt, to taste BOIL potatoes in salted boiling water till tender. To test your potatoes: pierce through with a knife, and if it glides easily right through it, it's ready. DRAIN and dry them over low heat or on a sheet pan in a 300 degree oven till no more steam rises from them for about 10-15 minutes. While the potatoes are still hot, run them through a food mill, or mash them really fine using a potato masher or fork till it resembles a puree. ADD the oil and egg yolks. Season with nutmeg, salt and pepper, and mix well using a whisk. PREHEAT oven to 375. TRANSFER the mixture to a piping bag fitted with a 6/8 prong nozzle. Pipe the mixture to create Duchesse potatoes on a parchment lined baking sheet. Pipe them a few inches apart from each other, giving them room to cook well. Pipe 82 | fyimagazineny.com 83 | fyimagazineny.com out a base and work your way around and up, finishing off by blending it in on top. Don’t pipe it to tall or they will cave as they bake. stick the piped mixture into the freezer for 15 minutes to set. BRUSH the potatoes with the egg wash. BAKE in a preheated oven for 10-12 minutes until potatoes are golden brown and heated through about 10-12 minutes. These potatoes freeze really well. If you choose to freeze these in advance, once you finish piping them, wrap them well and freeze. To save precious space in your freezer, pipe them onto a parchment lined baking sheet then stick them in the freezer until frozen through. Once fully frozen, consolidate them all into one bag or pan to save on space. This recipe is a base to create Duchesse potatoes. Feel free to be creative and put your own spin on it- it leaves you room to be playful.
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  POTATOES 1  PEEL AND CUT potatoes2into large POTATOES pieces.  Duchesse Pota...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE CHICKEN 1 CHICKEN 2 Sushi Chicken ESTY WOLBE | COOKING WITH TANTRUMS This show stopping appetizer is delicious, easy, and freezer friendly, too! It tastes great warm or at room temperature. This can be made with chicken breast as well, you just need to cut the cooking time. I like to use dark meat because it's juicier and more forgiving when made in advance and frozen. 1 1/2 cups sushi rice- prepared according to package directions and cooled 10 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (pargiot) 10 wide slices pastrami 2-3 tablespoons mayonnaise 1 cup flavored breadcrumbs or cornflake crumbs Cooking spray PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Working with one piece at a time, lay out the chicken on a work surface and place a slice of pastrami along the center. TRIM pastrami lengthwise as needed. Use 3 tablespoons of sushi rice to make a log the same length as the chicken and pastrami, and lay it along the center of the pastrami slice. CAREFULLY roll up the chicken around the rice and pastrami and place in a parchment lined baking pan seam side down. Repeat with remaining ingredients. COAT the sushi chicken rolls lightly with mayonnaise, and then roll in crumbs to coat all sides well. Return to baking pan and spray the top with cooking spray. BAKE for 45 minutes to 1 hour. When ready to serve, slice into sushi-like pieces and drizzle with store bought spicy mayo. 84 | fyimagazineny.com 85 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  CHICKEN 1  CHICKEN 2  Sushi Chicken ESTY WOLBE   COOKING WITH TANTRUMS  This...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE CHICKEN 1 CHICKEN 2 Sushi Chicken ESTY WOLBE | COOKING WITH TANTRUMS This show stopping appetizer is delicious, easy, and freezer friendly, too! It tastes great warm or at room temperature. This can be made with chicken breast as well, you just need to cut the cooking time. I like to use dark meat because it's juicier and more forgiving when made in advance and frozen. 1 1/2 cups sushi rice- prepared according to package directions and cooled 10 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (pargiot) 10 wide slices pastrami 2-3 tablespoons mayonnaise 1 cup flavored breadcrumbs or cornflake crumbs Cooking spray PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Working with one piece at a time, lay out the chicken on a work surface and place a slice of pastrami along the center. TRIM pastrami lengthwise as needed. Use 3 tablespoons of sushi rice to make a log the same length as the chicken and pastrami, and lay it along the center of the pastrami slice. CAREFULLY roll up the chicken around the rice and pastrami and place in a parchment lined baking pan seam side down. Repeat with remaining ingredients. COAT the sushi chicken rolls lightly with mayonnaise, and then roll in crumbs to coat all sides well. Return to baking pan and spray the top with cooking spray. BAKE for 45 minutes to 1 hour. When ready to serve, slice into sushi-like pieces and drizzle with store bought spicy mayo. 84 | fyimagazineny.com 85 | fyimagazineny.com
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  CHICKEN 1  CHICKEN 2  Sushi Chicken ESTY WOLBE   COOKING WITH TANTRUMS  This...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Massage SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE POTS & PANS: MATERIALS A L L T H I N G S KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHEF SARA CHANA GRUSKIN ­ Let's discuss pots and pans. I'll break this down into two categories: A. choosing the material that works for you and B. which pots and pans are "must haves." This month, we’ll focus on choosing materials that work for you. You may still have the set of pots and pans you invested in when you started up your kitchen, and are not looking to reinvest just yet; however, helpful information is always timely. Perhaps you’ll need it when one or more pots or pans have seen better days and need to be replaced. Clip n' save this informationchances are it will be worthwhile. There are quite a few important factors to take into consideration when choosing cookware, and I will make your choosing process easier. The first and most important one is Heat Conductivity. In simple English, this means the flow of heat: how fast the material will respond to heat when adjusting the flame up or down. The reason why it's important for a material/pot to have a good flow of heat is to ensure your food cooks evenly. This will make the difference between bad, soggy, undercooked food and amazing dishes that are the talk of the block. I mean, who doesn't want that, am I right? Good quality pots and pans made of the right materials can really improve your cooking. SOME FACTORS TO CONSIDER: Price: The amount you're willing to pay for your cookware will most likely be the determining factor in what you end up buying. The rule of thumb with cookware is to buy the best you can afford. Durability: Meaning strong and long-lasting. Some types of cookware will maintain their good looks and last longer than others. Some THERAPY Medical Pre-natal Post-natal Deep Tissue Swedish E x p erience Healing Frozen Shoulder Headaches Back pain Sciatica TMJ shiny pots and pans might fool you, but always opt for durability so you can get your money's worth. In this case, stainless steel will rank pretty high. Along with durability, I do want to stress the importance of comfortability. A pot or pan that is nice and durable, and is made of good quality material, but sits heavy on your wrist or in an awkward position in your hand, will likely just sit and collect dust. Therefore I suggest playing around with such kitchen items in the store and feeling them out to make sure you can use them easily. Maintenance: Some materials, like cast iron or copper, require tip-top maintenance to look pristine. If you’d rather have one less thing to worry about in life, choose stainless steel. CALL FOR APPOINTMENT: (202) 384-8964 $15 OFF WITH MENTION OF THIS AD 86 | fyimagazineny.com 87 | fyimagazineny.com CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPIST
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Massage SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  POTS   PANS  MATERIALS  A L L  T H I N G S  KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSO...
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE Massage SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE POTS & PANS: MATERIALS A L L T H I N G S KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSONAL CHEF SARA CHANA GRUSKIN ­ Let's discuss pots and pans. I'll break this down into two categories: A. choosing the material that works for you and B. which pots and pans are "must haves." This month, we’ll focus on choosing materials that work for you. You may still have the set of pots and pans you invested in when you started up your kitchen, and are not looking to reinvest just yet; however, helpful information is always timely. Perhaps you’ll need it when one or more pots or pans have seen better days and need to be replaced. Clip n' save this informationchances are it will be worthwhile. There are quite a few important factors to take into consideration when choosing cookware, and I will make your choosing process easier. The first and most important one is Heat Conductivity. In simple English, this means the flow of heat: how fast the material will respond to heat when adjusting the flame up or down. The reason why it's important for a material/pot to have a good flow of heat is to ensure your food cooks evenly. This will make the difference between bad, soggy, undercooked food and amazing dishes that are the talk of the block. I mean, who doesn't want that, am I right? Good quality pots and pans made of the right materials can really improve your cooking. SOME FACTORS TO CONSIDER: Price: The amount you're willing to pay for your cookware will most likely be the determining factor in what you end up buying. The rule of thumb with cookware is to buy the best you can afford. Durability: Meaning strong and long-lasting. Some types of cookware will maintain their good looks and last longer than others. Some THERAPY Medical Pre-natal Post-natal Deep Tissue Swedish E x p erience Healing Frozen Shoulder Headaches Back pain Sciatica TMJ shiny pots and pans might fool you, but always opt for durability so you can get your money's worth. In this case, stainless steel will rank pretty high. Along with durability, I do want to stress the importance of comfortability. A pot or pan that is nice and durable, and is made of good quality material, but sits heavy on your wrist or in an awkward position in your hand, will likely just sit and collect dust. Therefore I suggest playing around with such kitchen items in the store and feeling them out to make sure you can use them easily. Maintenance: Some materials, like cast iron or copper, require tip-top maintenance to look pristine. If you’d rather have one less thing to worry about in life, choose stainless steel. CALL FOR APPOINTMENT: (202) 384-8964 $15 OFF WITH MENTION OF THIS AD 86 | fyimagazineny.com 87 | fyimagazineny.com CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPIST
SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  Massage SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  POTS   PANS  MATERIALS  A L L  T H I N G S  KITCHEN WRITTEN BY PERSO...
YOU GOTTA KNOW SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE For Less | Book Review | Tried & Tested B A C K T O S C H O O L I T E M S T H AT 2 If we don't understand the ins and outs of cookware, it's hard to understand why some materials are better than others. Let’s take a look at the different ones to see their pros and cons. STAINLESS STEEL (1) Stainless steel is one of the most common types of cookware used in everyday households. It is a combination of metals including steel, carbon and chromium. It’s called "stainless" because of its ability to resist corrosion.    Stainless steel is an excellent choice for cookware, BUT because it doesn’t conduct heat well, it's important that it has an aluminum or copper core. Otherwise you will have unevenly cooked food. Its many advantages are that it’s relatively inexpensive, durable, scratch resistant, easy to maintain, and does not react with food; however, its one disadvantage can really make it or break it. So be specific when choosing and make sure its core is of good quality. 3 CAST IRON (2) Cooks who own any form of cast iron cookware absolutely swear by it for its exceptional cooking ability, although maintaining it is not easy. The shiny, slippery surface needs to be cared for to prevent a reaction with food, and to avoid rusting. The advantages of cast iron are that it’s relatively inexpensive, extremely durable, and has great heat retention. The constant maintenance can seem daunting, but if you're ready to give it some love, it will definitely give back. ALUMINUM (3) Aluminum is used in approximately 50% of all cookware manufactured today because of its excellent heat conduction. It is a soft metal that can dent and scratch easily as well as leach color, which can distort your food’s appearance and flavor. Since aluminum reacts strongly with acidic food, it is generally sandwiched between other metals. You will often find stainless steel with a layer of aluminum, offering 4 the benefits of both materials. COPPER (4) Copper cookware is commonly used by chefs in professional kitchens and for good reason. It conducts heat extremely well, and quickly adjusts to temperature changes. This allows greater control over your cooking. Copper cookware on its own is generally quite expensive; therefore, it is commonly found sandwiched between layers of other metals to give you its benefits without breaking the bank. Like cast iron, it requires extra TLC in the form of constant polishing to keep it looking fine and fit. Ideally, we want our cookware to conduct heat efficiently and not cause discoloration or off-flavors in our food. Unfortunately, no single material can do both things. To get the best of both worlds, manufacturers combine elements so you can ''have your cake and eat it too." Stay tuned for next month's issue; we will discuss which pots and pans are must-haves. fyi GIVE BACK A well-known saying is, "You get what you give." Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the getting, or in this case, getting back to school, that we forget all about the giving. Here are a few handy products that will get you back to school, and get you giving back to those who need it most! E 1 SIP BY SWELL A beautifully crafted bottle that keeps drinks cold for 24 hours and hot for 12, while also giving back to those in need, one Swell bottle at a time. 88 | fyimagazineny.com 89 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  For Less   Book Review   Tried   Tested  B A C K T O S C H O O L I T E M S T H AT 2...
YOU GOTTA KNOW SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE For Less | Book Review | Tried & Tested B A C K T O S C H O O L I T E M S T H AT 2 If we don't understand the ins and outs of cookware, it's hard to understand why some materials are better than others. Let’s take a look at the different ones to see their pros and cons. STAINLESS STEEL (1) Stainless steel is one of the most common types of cookware used in everyday households. It is a combination of metals including steel, carbon and chromium. It’s called "stainless" because of its ability to resist corrosion.    Stainless steel is an excellent choice for cookware, BUT because it doesn’t conduct heat well, it's important that it has an aluminum or copper core. Otherwise you will have unevenly cooked food. Its many advantages are that it’s relatively inexpensive, durable, scratch resistant, easy to maintain, and does not react with food; however, its one disadvantage can really make it or break it. So be specific when choosing and make sure its core is of good quality. 3 CAST IRON (2) Cooks who own any form of cast iron cookware absolutely swear by it for its exceptional cooking ability, although maintaining it is not easy. The shiny, slippery surface needs to be cared for to prevent a reaction with food, and to avoid rusting. The advantages of cast iron are that it’s relatively inexpensive, extremely durable, and has great heat retention. The constant maintenance can seem daunting, but if you're ready to give it some love, it will definitely give back. ALUMINUM (3) Aluminum is used in approximately 50% of all cookware manufactured today because of its excellent heat conduction. It is a soft metal that can dent and scratch easily as well as leach color, which can distort your food’s appearance and flavor. Since aluminum reacts strongly with acidic food, it is generally sandwiched between other metals. You will often find stainless steel with a layer of aluminum, offering 4 the benefits of both materials. COPPER (4) Copper cookware is commonly used by chefs in professional kitchens and for good reason. It conducts heat extremely well, and quickly adjusts to temperature changes. This allows greater control over your cooking. Copper cookware on its own is generally quite expensive; therefore, it is commonly found sandwiched between layers of other metals to give you its benefits without breaking the bank. Like cast iron, it requires extra TLC in the form of constant polishing to keep it looking fine and fit. Ideally, we want our cookware to conduct heat efficiently and not cause discoloration or off-flavors in our food. Unfortunately, no single material can do both things. To get the best of both worlds, manufacturers combine elements so you can ''have your cake and eat it too." Stay tuned for next month's issue; we will discuss which pots and pans are must-haves. fyi GIVE BACK A well-known saying is, "You get what you give." Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the getting, or in this case, getting back to school, that we forget all about the giving. Here are a few handy products that will get you back to school, and get you giving back to those who need it most! E 1 SIP BY SWELL A beautifully crafted bottle that keeps drinks cold for 24 hours and hot for 12, while also giving back to those in need, one Swell bottle at a time. 88 | fyimagazineny.com 89 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  SHARPEN YOUR APPETITE  For Less   Book Review   Tried   Tested  B A C K T O S C H O O L I T E M S T H AT 2...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW E YOOBI E Colorful notebooks, pencil cases, and more at great prices! For every Yoobi item purchased, a Yoobi item will be donated to a classroom in need, right here in the U.S. E Morning doesn’t start until you’ve had your coffee! Why not have it in this classy mug that gives artisans in developing countries the opportunity for a better quality life? SOCOZY STATE BACKPACK These backpacks are not only So Cute but also So Smart with supply organizers and extra zippered pockets. For each SoCozy State Bag backpack purchased on SoCozy.com, one is filled with school supplies and hand-delivered to a child in need, giving a kid the essential tools for success. 90 | fyimagazineny.com WRITTEN BY MIRIAM SCHWARTZMAN BOMBAS SOCKS Start your day off on the right foot! These athletic socks provide extreme comfort superior to any others, while donating the number-one most requested item to the homeless. You guessed it… socks. TOASTY MORNING MUG E TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, OR EVEN WITH YOURSELF! 14 If you’ve managed to finish the summer with your sunglasses intact, pat yourself on the back; 75% of American adults wear either regular or RX sunglasses, but over half of them don’t get to wear them for very long. Many people buy sunglasses that don’t even survive to see the light of day. Every 14 minutes, an American loses, breaks, or sits on a pair of sunglasses. See? 20 Starting this fall, this will be the amount of minutes required for daily recess for elementary schools in Rhode Island. Sadly, many schools in the U.S. have been cutting recess time down, and some have even done away with it entirely. Research shows that recess time helps children learn to be fair to each other, to include others in their games, and to cooperate. And hey, when are the kids supposed to eat chocolate? 70 About 25% of Americans play the lottery weekly. I can understand that. While I almost never play the lottery, I certainly would not mind winning it! Just “back to school” costs parents a huge amount of money! Forbes Magazine has issued a warning: its research has shown that 70% of people who win large amounts of money go broke within 7 years. Keep the lottery ticket! 91 | fyimagazineny.com 650k 3 You are not the only one preparing for back to school. While you sleep, eat, and buy new notebooks, Crayola is mass-producing crayons, nearly 3 billion each year – an average of twelve million daily. Blue is the most popular Crayola color. The least loved: tan, tumbleweed, and spring green. And FYI, Crayola crayon scents rank #18 on the most-recognized scents list. That’s 650,000 tons of phone books distributed nationally each year. Just imagine the Titanic. All of these phone books weigh more than 12 Titanics! It’s a colossal waste of paper, especially since most people get their info online, and it costs municipalities nationwide an estimated 60 million dollars to collect, recycle, and dispose of phone books. That’s enough money to buy 100 fire trucks.
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW E  YOOBI  E  Colorful notebooks, pencil cases, and more at great prices  For every Yoobi it...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW E YOOBI E Colorful notebooks, pencil cases, and more at great prices! For every Yoobi item purchased, a Yoobi item will be donated to a classroom in need, right here in the U.S. E Morning doesn’t start until you’ve had your coffee! Why not have it in this classy mug that gives artisans in developing countries the opportunity for a better quality life? SOCOZY STATE BACKPACK These backpacks are not only So Cute but also So Smart with supply organizers and extra zippered pockets. For each SoCozy State Bag backpack purchased on SoCozy.com, one is filled with school supplies and hand-delivered to a child in need, giving a kid the essential tools for success. 90 | fyimagazineny.com WRITTEN BY MIRIAM SCHWARTZMAN BOMBAS SOCKS Start your day off on the right foot! These athletic socks provide extreme comfort superior to any others, while donating the number-one most requested item to the homeless. You guessed it… socks. TOASTY MORNING MUG E TIDBITS OF INFORMATION THAT’S GOOD TO KNOW WHEN IN A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, OR EVEN WITH YOURSELF! 14 If you’ve managed to finish the summer with your sunglasses intact, pat yourself on the back; 75% of American adults wear either regular or RX sunglasses, but over half of them don’t get to wear them for very long. Many people buy sunglasses that don’t even survive to see the light of day. Every 14 minutes, an American loses, breaks, or sits on a pair of sunglasses. See? 20 Starting this fall, this will be the amount of minutes required for daily recess for elementary schools in Rhode Island. Sadly, many schools in the U.S. have been cutting recess time down, and some have even done away with it entirely. Research shows that recess time helps children learn to be fair to each other, to include others in their games, and to cooperate. And hey, when are the kids supposed to eat chocolate? 70 About 25% of Americans play the lottery weekly. I can understand that. While I almost never play the lottery, I certainly would not mind winning it! Just “back to school” costs parents a huge amount of money! Forbes Magazine has issued a warning: its research has shown that 70% of people who win large amounts of money go broke within 7 years. Keep the lottery ticket! 91 | fyimagazineny.com 650k 3 You are not the only one preparing for back to school. While you sleep, eat, and buy new notebooks, Crayola is mass-producing crayons, nearly 3 billion each year – an average of twelve million daily. Blue is the most popular Crayola color. The least loved: tan, tumbleweed, and spring green. And FYI, Crayola crayon scents rank #18 on the most-recognized scents list. That’s 650,000 tons of phone books distributed nationally each year. Just imagine the Titanic. All of these phone books weigh more than 12 Titanics! It’s a colossal waste of paper, especially since most people get their info online, and it costs municipalities nationwide an estimated 60 million dollars to collect, recycle, and dispose of phone books. That’s enough money to buy 100 fire trucks.
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW E  YOOBI  E  Colorful notebooks, pencil cases, and more at great prices  For every Yoobi it...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW ask•the•organizer magic helpers Ingenious products that will make your day easier. THE LEVOON When it comes to cooking, the “pinch of this and scoop of that” spicing method works beautifully. Baking, however, calls for a little more precision. Did you know there’s a more graceful way to level dry ingredients off spoons? I mean, aside from scraping them off with the handle of a fork or (dare I say it) your finger? These super handy measuring spoons make determining those miniscule amounts of baking powder a whole lot easier. A handy little scraper is attached to the side of each one. In one neat little sweep, you level the spoon off. Amazon.com, $17 RENEGADE BROOM Who would ever think you could improve upon something as basic as the broom? Well, l would like to introduce you to the “prince” of the floor-cleaning world. This handy guy can do EVERYTHING. Its specialized curve design pulls dirt towards you like a rake, instead of away from you. Its deep bristles gather up even the tiniest little grains of shmutz. It will pull dirt from the cracked tiles, and the crumbs stuck between warped wood floor panels. It’s such a sturdy tool, you can even use it for heavy tasks, such as gathering leaves and snow. An all-around great helper to have around the house. Handycamel.com, $34 Organizing Tips for a Better School Year Q: Dear Adina, I am dreading getting into back to school mode, because my mornings are always so rushed and harried. I wish I had calmer mornings. Do you have any tips to help me create a less anxious morning? Sincerely, Crave Calm Mornings WRITTEN BY ADINA FOROUZAN HAND POWERED FOOD CHOPPER This little gadget is the perfect transition piece between food processor and hand grater. It chops, dices, and whips like a pro. Israeli salad prep? No sweat. You can do a whole batch of tear-inducing onions in a jiffy. The neatest part about this? It’s hand-powered so you can use it on Yom Tov, too. Bedbathandbeyond.com, $19.99 SENSOR GARBAGE CAN Say hello to this neat little can, and wave goodbye to the spread of germs and sticky yuckiness. The automated lid implements motion sensing technology, and the gentle auto-close is whisper quiet too, so no loud banging lid here! There is also a built-in liner dispenser for easy and convenient changing. Its Nano-silver coating wards off germs and fingerprints. It seems the only thing this futuristic can won’t do is take out the trash – you’ll still need to nudge your family members for that. Simplehuman.com, $150 92 | fyimagazineny.com Dear Crave Calm Mornings, You are not alone. Many ask, “why are my mornings filled with so much anxiety?” Mornings are breeding grounds for chaos with too many demands to fulfill within a short period of time. In spite of the long “to do list,” mornings do not have to be a struggle. With the right organizational systems in place, lots of patience, and prayers, you can create an optimal morning experience for your family. This will foster your children’s independence and responsibility all while you remain loving, calm, and composed. 93 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  ask   the   organizer  magic helpers  Ingenious products that will make your day easier. T...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW ask•the•organizer magic helpers Ingenious products that will make your day easier. THE LEVOON When it comes to cooking, the “pinch of this and scoop of that” spicing method works beautifully. Baking, however, calls for a little more precision. Did you know there’s a more graceful way to level dry ingredients off spoons? I mean, aside from scraping them off with the handle of a fork or (dare I say it) your finger? These super handy measuring spoons make determining those miniscule amounts of baking powder a whole lot easier. A handy little scraper is attached to the side of each one. In one neat little sweep, you level the spoon off. Amazon.com, $17 RENEGADE BROOM Who would ever think you could improve upon something as basic as the broom? Well, l would like to introduce you to the “prince” of the floor-cleaning world. This handy guy can do EVERYTHING. Its specialized curve design pulls dirt towards you like a rake, instead of away from you. Its deep bristles gather up even the tiniest little grains of shmutz. It will pull dirt from the cracked tiles, and the crumbs stuck between warped wood floor panels. It’s such a sturdy tool, you can even use it for heavy tasks, such as gathering leaves and snow. An all-around great helper to have around the house. Handycamel.com, $34 Organizing Tips for a Better School Year Q: Dear Adina, I am dreading getting into back to school mode, because my mornings are always so rushed and harried. I wish I had calmer mornings. Do you have any tips to help me create a less anxious morning? Sincerely, Crave Calm Mornings WRITTEN BY ADINA FOROUZAN HAND POWERED FOOD CHOPPER This little gadget is the perfect transition piece between food processor and hand grater. It chops, dices, and whips like a pro. Israeli salad prep? No sweat. You can do a whole batch of tear-inducing onions in a jiffy. The neatest part about this? It’s hand-powered so you can use it on Yom Tov, too. Bedbathandbeyond.com, $19.99 SENSOR GARBAGE CAN Say hello to this neat little can, and wave goodbye to the spread of germs and sticky yuckiness. The automated lid implements motion sensing technology, and the gentle auto-close is whisper quiet too, so no loud banging lid here! There is also a built-in liner dispenser for easy and convenient changing. Its Nano-silver coating wards off germs and fingerprints. It seems the only thing this futuristic can won’t do is take out the trash – you’ll still need to nudge your family members for that. Simplehuman.com, $150 92 | fyimagazineny.com Dear Crave Calm Mornings, You are not alone. Many ask, “why are my mornings filled with so much anxiety?” Mornings are breeding grounds for chaos with too many demands to fulfill within a short period of time. In spite of the long “to do list,” mornings do not have to be a struggle. With the right organizational systems in place, lots of patience, and prayers, you can create an optimal morning experience for your family. This will foster your children’s independence and responsibility all while you remain loving, calm, and composed. 93 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  ask   the   organizer  magic helpers  Ingenious products that will make your day easier. T...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW START THE NIGHT BEFORE: ppTo make mornings smoother, do as much of your “morning to do list” the night before. Pack lunches, snacks, gym clothes, put away homework, sign permission slips, replenish school supplies, prepare backpacks ready to go by the door, and take showers/baths. Enlist your child’s help in what is age appropriate for them. For babies, have their diaper bag packed the night before and your work bag ready as well! Some even put the bags they need in the car the night before. (After I had a baby, I found it super helpful to ask my husband to “load” all the bags in my car before he left in the morning, so all I had to do was buckle the kids.) ppWhen age appropriate, prepare outfits/school uniforms with your children for the next morning, including shoes and accessories! (No more, “Ma! Where is my purple headband,” or “Ma! Where is my other shoe!”) Have designated bins or hooks laid out with a hanger of complete school outfits for each day of the week. For the little ones, some have them all dressed in their day’s clothes the night before. This is especially helpful for fathers who are the ones to get their kids out in the morning! ppSet non-perishable breakfast items, like cereals, bowls, spoons, etc. out on the table the night before. ppTo ease into the “back to school” mode, have your children go to bed close to their school bedtime routine the week before.   ppMost importantly, getting to bed on time will help children get ready to start the day in the morning! This includes you, mom. You need the strength to seize the day. There is nothing like a good night’s rest! If your children have a hard time waking up, back up their bedtime by 5 minute increments the night before, until they reach the necessary sleep for their age. (Speak to your pediatrician or look up online for recommended sleep times for each age group.) START YOUR DAY EARLIER: ppA good solution, (although not one you may be thrilled with) is to wake up 15 to 30 minutes before your children to take care of your needs and maybe even enjoy your coffee in peace and quiet. ppIf your child is always running late and takes 30 minutes to do something while having only 20 minutes before they head out, do not expect them to make it happen without a meltdown or two. Instead, wake them up 10 minutes before to allow for the 30 minutes he or she needs to get ready like a mentsch. MORNING CHARTS: ppAvoid negotiations and morning meltdowns with clear and concise expectations set and discussed well beforehand. Creating a simple laminated picture or word chart of routines (or print samples from online) helps identify what is expected of the child in the morning.  Some examples include, wash hands, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, put snacks in backpack, put shoes on, etc. As your child completes each 94 | fyimagazineny.com task, they can put a magnet or sticker to cover the task. The child learns responsibility and independence simultaneously. A motivating factor (i.e. treat or special privilege) might encourage them to follow through on the chart effectively. I love morning charts, I found that the “morning power struggles” have been minimized once I implemented them with my toddler. All I say is, “What is next on your chart?” She knows what is on the chart and that is what needs to be done, no negotiations. ppHave children come down for breakfast only once they are dressed. This will motivate them to hurry the morning process. STAY CALM AND CARRY ON: ppCreate your family’s favorite music playlist. Use the playlist as “timers.” For example, when we are up to Yaakov Shwekey’s “Ben Bag Bag” song (my kids are seriously obsessed!) it is time for breakfast. A cheerful morning sets the tone for the day! ppYour tone sets the mood in the house, so by eliminating factors that frazzle you, your children will have an easier time following suit with less resistance.   Wishing you tremendous success and Siyata D’Shmaya as you make each morning bright and cheery eyed! Until next time, Adina Forouzan Adina Forouzan, owner of Master My Space Professional Organizing Services has a contagious passion for organizing! She'll tackle your unorganized areas and develop stress free systems that will work to meet your specific family needs. Adina lives in Cleveland, OH. www.mastermyspace.com 440-847-8224 book•review THE RESILIENCE FACTOR: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles COWRITTEN BY KAREN REIVICH | REVIEW BY MATTIE WISEMAN Us Jews are known as a stubborn group. We are intrinsically resilient – as a nation we’ve had to be. In the early 1900s, it was our grandparents who moved to places, such as the US, Canada, and Australia. As penniless refugees, they started from the bottom up, building the flourishing, thriving communities we are a part of today. I t is hard coded into our bones to survive the challenges and monkey wrenches life throws our way. We call our trials “nisyonos”, and our Hashkafa teaches us that it is life’s challenges that make us grow. From a young age we are taught to pray when going through hardships. When the going gets rough, Tefillah can be hugely therapeutic. Knowing there is a loving, higher Being to lean on and appeal to means everything. This doesn’t mean, however, that stress doesn’t threaten to overwhelm us sometimes. Challenges are challenging – hence their name. Why is it that when you ask a friend, “How are you”, often they will respond with “You know – managing,” or “Surviving”. I am sure I am not the only one who has found themselves thinking, when faced with challenges “Why me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” This is not a helpful attitude, but experiences can be painful and this is a knee jerk reaction. This is what makes “The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles” such an important read. It is a fabulous little book, full of big ideas and practical tools to get you through life’s doozies – big and small. Resilience is the ability to handle setbacks and adversity bravely, without shrinking away. Briefly, the 7 skills involved in developing a resilient character, as explained by the book, are the following: 1. Learning your ABC's: Listening to what your thoughts are saying when facing a challenge. 2. Avoiding Thinking Traps: How to avoid the 8 mistakes people make when facing a challenge (Ex. Blaming yourself or blaming others.) 3. Detecting Icebergs: Identifying your core beliefs and bias, and understanding how they can affect your perception of events. 4. Challenging Beliefs: How to get to the actual root of the problem, instead of jumping to conclusions. 5. Putting it in Perspective: Preventing your mind from circling with “what-ifs” and worry. 6. Calming and Focusing: How to center yourself when feeling overwhelmed. 7. Real Time Resilience: How to change counterproductive thought into productive ones in the moment. With examples and step by step details, The Resilience Factor walks you through each of these 7 skills. The scenarios and worries they describe are very relatable. They address how to implement the skills in your day to day life, as well as how to respond to moments of 95 | fyimagazineny.com crisis. The writing is briskly paced and clear. The authors explain that gaining resilience can help us in 4 aspects of life: To overcome a traumatic past, to steer through chronic stress, to bounce back after hard times, and to reach out and be open to new experiences. This is a fantastic little book, jam packed with important and useful tools, many of which you can start implementing the moment you read them. What I loved was the authors’ focus on having faith in yourself. Trusting yourself that you can and will be able to experience many things in your life, and move with it and grow. That you can and will be able to manage the rocky waters. That you can and will be able to reach beyond yourself to become better and stronger. To trust who you are, and believe in your strengths. I found the idea beautiful. This really is a gem of a book. If you are looking to grow beyond being a victim of your circumstances, and are only wondering how to do so, this book can show you how. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW START THE NIGHT BEFORE  ppTo make mornings smoother, do as much of your    morning to do li...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW START THE NIGHT BEFORE: ppTo make mornings smoother, do as much of your “morning to do list” the night before. Pack lunches, snacks, gym clothes, put away homework, sign permission slips, replenish school supplies, prepare backpacks ready to go by the door, and take showers/baths. Enlist your child’s help in what is age appropriate for them. For babies, have their diaper bag packed the night before and your work bag ready as well! Some even put the bags they need in the car the night before. (After I had a baby, I found it super helpful to ask my husband to “load” all the bags in my car before he left in the morning, so all I had to do was buckle the kids.) ppWhen age appropriate, prepare outfits/school uniforms with your children for the next morning, including shoes and accessories! (No more, “Ma! Where is my purple headband,” or “Ma! Where is my other shoe!”) Have designated bins or hooks laid out with a hanger of complete school outfits for each day of the week. For the little ones, some have them all dressed in their day’s clothes the night before. This is especially helpful for fathers who are the ones to get their kids out in the morning! ppSet non-perishable breakfast items, like cereals, bowls, spoons, etc. out on the table the night before. ppTo ease into the “back to school” mode, have your children go to bed close to their school bedtime routine the week before.   ppMost importantly, getting to bed on time will help children get ready to start the day in the morning! This includes you, mom. You need the strength to seize the day. There is nothing like a good night’s rest! If your children have a hard time waking up, back up their bedtime by 5 minute increments the night before, until they reach the necessary sleep for their age. (Speak to your pediatrician or look up online for recommended sleep times for each age group.) START YOUR DAY EARLIER: ppA good solution, (although not one you may be thrilled with) is to wake up 15 to 30 minutes before your children to take care of your needs and maybe even enjoy your coffee in peace and quiet. ppIf your child is always running late and takes 30 minutes to do something while having only 20 minutes before they head out, do not expect them to make it happen without a meltdown or two. Instead, wake them up 10 minutes before to allow for the 30 minutes he or she needs to get ready like a mentsch. MORNING CHARTS: ppAvoid negotiations and morning meltdowns with clear and concise expectations set and discussed well beforehand. Creating a simple laminated picture or word chart of routines (or print samples from online) helps identify what is expected of the child in the morning.  Some examples include, wash hands, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, put snacks in backpack, put shoes on, etc. As your child completes each 94 | fyimagazineny.com task, they can put a magnet or sticker to cover the task. The child learns responsibility and independence simultaneously. A motivating factor (i.e. treat or special privilege) might encourage them to follow through on the chart effectively. I love morning charts, I found that the “morning power struggles” have been minimized once I implemented them with my toddler. All I say is, “What is next on your chart?” She knows what is on the chart and that is what needs to be done, no negotiations. ppHave children come down for breakfast only once they are dressed. This will motivate them to hurry the morning process. STAY CALM AND CARRY ON: ppCreate your family’s favorite music playlist. Use the playlist as “timers.” For example, when we are up to Yaakov Shwekey’s “Ben Bag Bag” song (my kids are seriously obsessed!) it is time for breakfast. A cheerful morning sets the tone for the day! ppYour tone sets the mood in the house, so by eliminating factors that frazzle you, your children will have an easier time following suit with less resistance.   Wishing you tremendous success and Siyata D’Shmaya as you make each morning bright and cheery eyed! Until next time, Adina Forouzan Adina Forouzan, owner of Master My Space Professional Organizing Services has a contagious passion for organizing! She'll tackle your unorganized areas and develop stress free systems that will work to meet your specific family needs. Adina lives in Cleveland, OH. www.mastermyspace.com 440-847-8224 book•review THE RESILIENCE FACTOR: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles COWRITTEN BY KAREN REIVICH | REVIEW BY MATTIE WISEMAN Us Jews are known as a stubborn group. We are intrinsically resilient – as a nation we’ve had to be. In the early 1900s, it was our grandparents who moved to places, such as the US, Canada, and Australia. As penniless refugees, they started from the bottom up, building the flourishing, thriving communities we are a part of today. I t is hard coded into our bones to survive the challenges and monkey wrenches life throws our way. We call our trials “nisyonos”, and our Hashkafa teaches us that it is life’s challenges that make us grow. From a young age we are taught to pray when going through hardships. When the going gets rough, Tefillah can be hugely therapeutic. Knowing there is a loving, higher Being to lean on and appeal to means everything. This doesn’t mean, however, that stress doesn’t threaten to overwhelm us sometimes. Challenges are challenging – hence their name. Why is it that when you ask a friend, “How are you”, often they will respond with “You know – managing,” or “Surviving”. I am sure I am not the only one who has found themselves thinking, when faced with challenges “Why me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” This is not a helpful attitude, but experiences can be painful and this is a knee jerk reaction. This is what makes “The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles” such an important read. It is a fabulous little book, full of big ideas and practical tools to get you through life’s doozies – big and small. Resilience is the ability to handle setbacks and adversity bravely, without shrinking away. Briefly, the 7 skills involved in developing a resilient character, as explained by the book, are the following: 1. Learning your ABC's: Listening to what your thoughts are saying when facing a challenge. 2. Avoiding Thinking Traps: How to avoid the 8 mistakes people make when facing a challenge (Ex. Blaming yourself or blaming others.) 3. Detecting Icebergs: Identifying your core beliefs and bias, and understanding how they can affect your perception of events. 4. Challenging Beliefs: How to get to the actual root of the problem, instead of jumping to conclusions. 5. Putting it in Perspective: Preventing your mind from circling with “what-ifs” and worry. 6. Calming and Focusing: How to center yourself when feeling overwhelmed. 7. Real Time Resilience: How to change counterproductive thought into productive ones in the moment. With examples and step by step details, The Resilience Factor walks you through each of these 7 skills. The scenarios and worries they describe are very relatable. They address how to implement the skills in your day to day life, as well as how to respond to moments of 95 | fyimagazineny.com crisis. The writing is briskly paced and clear. The authors explain that gaining resilience can help us in 4 aspects of life: To overcome a traumatic past, to steer through chronic stress, to bounce back after hard times, and to reach out and be open to new experiences. This is a fantastic little book, jam packed with important and useful tools, many of which you can start implementing the moment you read them. What I loved was the authors’ focus on having faith in yourself. Trusting yourself that you can and will be able to experience many things in your life, and move with it and grow. That you can and will be able to manage the rocky waters. That you can and will be able to reach beyond yourself to become better and stronger. To trust who you are, and believe in your strengths. I found the idea beautiful. This really is a gem of a book. If you are looking to grow beyond being a victim of your circumstances, and are only wondering how to do so, this book can show you how. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW START THE NIGHT BEFORE  ppTo make mornings smoother, do as much of your    morning to do li...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW E For Less Erasable File Labels Amazon.com, $15 Save time and money with these handy labels. Perfect for the high school or college goer staggering beneath the weight of endless notes. Instead of purchasing new file folders each semester, simply erase and re-label. The labels are designed to last through many years and multiple rewrites. C O O L B AC K TO S C H O O L I T E M S U N D E R $ 5 0 ! Highlighter & Pen Combo E Amazon.com, $26 E Perk up your school year with this rainbow of brights! Festify your notes and jazzify your textbooks. Not only that - cut down on the amount of supplies schlepped. What makes these highlighters so awesome is that they piggyback off the end of a regular black-ink pen. The value pack comes with 6 sets of 5 colors, so everyone in the family can get their own (including Mom!) E Lap Desk Barnesandnoble.com, $20 Can homework be fun? Um, let’s be real here. Probably not. But at least it can be made a little more interesting. Your girl can relax on the couch or bed and fill out her worksheets with the help of this cheerfully patterned take-along desk. The sturdy surface rests on top of a soft and squishy bean bag. Beneath the desktop is a zippered pocket to keep all necessary homework implements in one organized place. Lego Lunch Box Amazon.com, $16 How cute is this little lunch box? It’s the perfect size for toddler munchies or a bento box; you can even buy little mini square Lego containers that fit inside for snacks. Choose your child’sfavorite color – it comes in a rainbow of hues, including pink, of course, because girls like Lego, too! Easy wipe-clean surface. Lunch Bag E perpetualkid.com, $20 Don’t let appearances fool you! What we have here is a completely functional and reusable eco-friendly lunch bag, complete with insulation. The top rolls down and stays shut with the help of two strong magnets. The brown bag design has nostalgia written all over it. Speaking of written, you can write and design the outside, too! The options are endless. Go ahead, and inscribe something mortifyingly mushy on your boy’s lunchbox, like “MOMMY LOVES HER CUTIE BOY XOXO”…. Or…. not - that’s too mean. But you get the point. 96 | fyimagazineny.com 97 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  E  For Less  Erasable File Labels Amazon.com,  15  Save time and money with these handy la...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW E For Less Erasable File Labels Amazon.com, $15 Save time and money with these handy labels. Perfect for the high school or college goer staggering beneath the weight of endless notes. Instead of purchasing new file folders each semester, simply erase and re-label. The labels are designed to last through many years and multiple rewrites. C O O L B AC K TO S C H O O L I T E M S U N D E R $ 5 0 ! Highlighter & Pen Combo E Amazon.com, $26 E Perk up your school year with this rainbow of brights! Festify your notes and jazzify your textbooks. Not only that - cut down on the amount of supplies schlepped. What makes these highlighters so awesome is that they piggyback off the end of a regular black-ink pen. The value pack comes with 6 sets of 5 colors, so everyone in the family can get their own (including Mom!) E Lap Desk Barnesandnoble.com, $20 Can homework be fun? Um, let’s be real here. Probably not. But at least it can be made a little more interesting. Your girl can relax on the couch or bed and fill out her worksheets with the help of this cheerfully patterned take-along desk. The sturdy surface rests on top of a soft and squishy bean bag. Beneath the desktop is a zippered pocket to keep all necessary homework implements in one organized place. Lego Lunch Box Amazon.com, $16 How cute is this little lunch box? It’s the perfect size for toddler munchies or a bento box; you can even buy little mini square Lego containers that fit inside for snacks. Choose your child’sfavorite color – it comes in a rainbow of hues, including pink, of course, because girls like Lego, too! Easy wipe-clean surface. Lunch Bag E perpetualkid.com, $20 Don’t let appearances fool you! What we have here is a completely functional and reusable eco-friendly lunch bag, complete with insulation. The top rolls down and stays shut with the help of two strong magnets. The brown bag design has nostalgia written all over it. Speaking of written, you can write and design the outside, too! The options are endless. Go ahead, and inscribe something mortifyingly mushy on your boy’s lunchbox, like “MOMMY LOVES HER CUTIE BOY XOXO”…. Or…. not - that’s too mean. But you get the point. 96 | fyimagazineny.com 97 | fyimagazineny.com
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  E  For Less  Erasable File Labels Amazon.com,  15  Save time and money with these handy la...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW tried&tested BEST BACKPACKS FOR ALL AGES Here are a few things to keep in mind when choosing a backpack for your child: J Adequate back support: Only buy a backpack which has two straps, so that the weight is distributed evenly and is safer for the carrier’s neck, back, and shoulders. J Weight: Make sure you don’t overload it! The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons recommends that a backpack should not exceed 15 to 20 percent of a child's body weight. J Fit: Try the backpack on your child to make sure the bottom reaches the lower back; it should not drop more than 4 inches below the waist level. Adjust the straps so it fits snugly and comfortably. J Personal Safety: Avoid embroidering your child’s backpack with their name on it. Instead, you can monogram their initials. Zoo Little Kids Backpack, $20 This durable animal backpack, which is available in 25 designs, is the perfect pack for on the go! Easily holds all the supplies your toddler might need for a busy day of "work" and play at preschool, and the mesh side pocket adjusts to fit a juice box, sippy cup, or water bottle. BEST FOR: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BEST FOR: PRESCHOOL: what’s in my • • THERAPY ROOM Lands End School Bags, $55 Though you may shudder at paying nearly $60 for a kids backpack, this one will withstand many years of aggressive treatment. Not only does it have superior quality, but Lands End lifetime warranty means that it will be repaired or replaced for the lifetime of the backpack. It can’t get much better than that! WITH DR. RACHEL LOWINGER WRITTEN BY CHAIA FRISHMAN One might come down with a case of jet lag hearing this about Dr. Rachel Lowinger. Born in Romania, raised in Israel, educated in Canada, and currently living in New York, this wife and mom sure is worldly. She brings that energy to her work, as she gets to know her clients in the Five Towns and Manhattan. Have a seat and get to know Rachel. ALSO IN MY ROOM: JanSport, $60 Entering high school comes with great responsibility, and your teen will need support for their heavy workload. A good quality and large, sturdy bag is imperative, for wherever their day may take them. 98 | fyimagazineny.com BEST FOR: HIGH SCHOOL J Comfortable J Clock: It helps me leather chair: I have a chair that is comfortable and cozy, but for some reason clients always opt to sit on the couch! keep track of the time of the session, but clients peek at it once in a while to know how many more minutes they have to speak. J Desk: I write J Tissues: notes there after the session, because I want to be fully immersed and attentive during. Self-explanatory. J Sand Zen Garden: For people who like to keep their hands busy during the session.     EARLY ON I was an analytical child. Many friends were (happily) on the receiving end of my advice and I remember also helping some adults! I didn’t think of making it into a career until much later. I was doing undergrad for pre-med, but I had a friend applying for clinical psychology, so I entertained the idea. Helping people with psychotherapy but not being bogged down with writing prescriptions, as in psychiatry, really spoke to me. I was accepted to a few universities, but chose Concordia University in Canada.   LANGUAGE OF THE HEART When I came to Canada, I didn’t speak much English. Pre-med was a career choice where I figured I wouldn’t need to know much English with all of the science that medicine has to offer. But deep down, I’m a humanities student. Learning the language paved the way for this profession, I suppose. I think patients from different cultural and lifestyle backgrounds are calmed by the fact that I have been to so many places. As a therapist, it’s important to communicate that I don’t need to have your exact experience to relate to it. I think exposure to different places and cultures make me more empathic. DUAL APPROACHES There are many different approaches to use 99 | fyimagazineny.com in talk therapy. People are most familiar with psychodynamic: talking with people in an open-ended way about relationships in their lives, noticing patterns or strong emotional reactions they have, and trying to understand them in the context of their life and my relationship with them. I also started somatic intervention. People process things intellectually but ignore a lot of physical cues because we don’t realize that our bodies experience anxiety as much as our brains do. I think that I weave both types of therapies into my sessions, depending on the dynamic in the room. DR. MOMMY While I keep my patients’ lives separate from my family life, I sometimes find myself using some of the same listening skills in both spheres. Just as I don't text or look out the window when I listen to patients, I try to give my kids at least a few minutes a day of my undivided attention. I also try to let them express their feelings and thoughts without jumping to a solution or ‘“correcting” their feelings. As a parent that is pressed for time and solution-oriented, it's really hard to do. But I try to remind myself that if I can do that with clients, I can probably pull it off at least some of the time with my kids, too. DISPELLING MYTHS   I want people to understand that one doesn’t need to be crazy to see a therapist. The therapy room is a place to process your emotions, to evolve certain parts of yourself. You don’t go to a gym only if you are obese! You do it for your overall health and maintenance. You want to expand your range of thinking and feeling. It’s a tool for anybody. We must pamper our souls. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  tried tested  BEST BACKPACKS FOR ALL AGES  Here are a few things to keep in mind when choo...
YOU GOTTA KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW tried&tested BEST BACKPACKS FOR ALL AGES Here are a few things to keep in mind when choosing a backpack for your child: J Adequate back support: Only buy a backpack which has two straps, so that the weight is distributed evenly and is safer for the carrier’s neck, back, and shoulders. J Weight: Make sure you don’t overload it! The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons recommends that a backpack should not exceed 15 to 20 percent of a child's body weight. J Fit: Try the backpack on your child to make sure the bottom reaches the lower back; it should not drop more than 4 inches below the waist level. Adjust the straps so it fits snugly and comfortably. J Personal Safety: Avoid embroidering your child’s backpack with their name on it. Instead, you can monogram their initials. Zoo Little Kids Backpack, $20 This durable animal backpack, which is available in 25 designs, is the perfect pack for on the go! Easily holds all the supplies your toddler might need for a busy day of "work" and play at preschool, and the mesh side pocket adjusts to fit a juice box, sippy cup, or water bottle. BEST FOR: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BEST FOR: PRESCHOOL: what’s in my • • THERAPY ROOM Lands End School Bags, $55 Though you may shudder at paying nearly $60 for a kids backpack, this one will withstand many years of aggressive treatment. Not only does it have superior quality, but Lands End lifetime warranty means that it will be repaired or replaced for the lifetime of the backpack. It can’t get much better than that! WITH DR. RACHEL LOWINGER WRITTEN BY CHAIA FRISHMAN One might come down with a case of jet lag hearing this about Dr. Rachel Lowinger. Born in Romania, raised in Israel, educated in Canada, and currently living in New York, this wife and mom sure is worldly. She brings that energy to her work, as she gets to know her clients in the Five Towns and Manhattan. Have a seat and get to know Rachel. ALSO IN MY ROOM: JanSport, $60 Entering high school comes with great responsibility, and your teen will need support for their heavy workload. A good quality and large, sturdy bag is imperative, for wherever their day may take them. 98 | fyimagazineny.com BEST FOR: HIGH SCHOOL J Comfortable J Clock: It helps me leather chair: I have a chair that is comfortable and cozy, but for some reason clients always opt to sit on the couch! keep track of the time of the session, but clients peek at it once in a while to know how many more minutes they have to speak. J Desk: I write J Tissues: notes there after the session, because I want to be fully immersed and attentive during. Self-explanatory. J Sand Zen Garden: For people who like to keep their hands busy during the session.     EARLY ON I was an analytical child. Many friends were (happily) on the receiving end of my advice and I remember also helping some adults! I didn’t think of making it into a career until much later. I was doing undergrad for pre-med, but I had a friend applying for clinical psychology, so I entertained the idea. Helping people with psychotherapy but not being bogged down with writing prescriptions, as in psychiatry, really spoke to me. I was accepted to a few universities, but chose Concordia University in Canada.   LANGUAGE OF THE HEART When I came to Canada, I didn’t speak much English. Pre-med was a career choice where I figured I wouldn’t need to know much English with all of the science that medicine has to offer. But deep down, I’m a humanities student. Learning the language paved the way for this profession, I suppose. I think patients from different cultural and lifestyle backgrounds are calmed by the fact that I have been to so many places. As a therapist, it’s important to communicate that I don’t need to have your exact experience to relate to it. I think exposure to different places and cultures make me more empathic. DUAL APPROACHES There are many different approaches to use 99 | fyimagazineny.com in talk therapy. People are most familiar with psychodynamic: talking with people in an open-ended way about relationships in their lives, noticing patterns or strong emotional reactions they have, and trying to understand them in the context of their life and my relationship with them. I also started somatic intervention. People process things intellectually but ignore a lot of physical cues because we don’t realize that our bodies experience anxiety as much as our brains do. I think that I weave both types of therapies into my sessions, depending on the dynamic in the room. DR. MOMMY While I keep my patients’ lives separate from my family life, I sometimes find myself using some of the same listening skills in both spheres. Just as I don't text or look out the window when I listen to patients, I try to give my kids at least a few minutes a day of my undivided attention. I also try to let them express their feelings and thoughts without jumping to a solution or ‘“correcting” their feelings. As a parent that is pressed for time and solution-oriented, it's really hard to do. But I try to remind myself that if I can do that with clients, I can probably pull it off at least some of the time with my kids, too. DISPELLING MYTHS   I want people to understand that one doesn’t need to be crazy to see a therapist. The therapy room is a place to process your emotions, to evolve certain parts of yourself. You don’t go to a gym only if you are obese! You do it for your overall health and maintenance. You want to expand your range of thinking and feeling. It’s a tool for anybody. We must pamper our souls. fyi
YOU GOTTA KNOW  YOU GOTTA KNOW  tried tested  BEST BACKPACKS FOR ALL AGES  Here are a few things to keep in mind when choo...
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PURE PLANT SUPPLEMENTS ALL WE DO IS PUT ON THE CAP   FOR MORE INFO call our 24 hr health-line at                         1...