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They Are So Nerve Wracking They Are My Idiots Idi t k Hajnalka Ill s
They Are So Nerve-Wracking  They Are My Idiots Idi  t  k Hajnalka Ill  s
They Are My Idiots Idi t k
They Are My Idiots Idi  t  k
My Idiots Idi t k This book was written with the best intentions Its purpose is rather to help relase tension The main subject of this book is human idiotism to hold a mirror to myself and to fellow humans The book was created with irony and humour 2015 Budapest Hajnalka Ill s
My Idiots Idi  t  k This book was written with the best intentions. Its purpose is rather to help relase tension. The main...
They Are My Idiots Idi t k Hajnalka Ill s
They Are My Idiots  Idi  t  k Hajnalka Ill  s
Authors Tam s Kormos Hajnalka Ill s Translated by Veronika Karsai Orsolya Ill s Edited by Hajnalka Ill s Professional consultant S ra Ulrich Special thanks to Tam s Birinyi Aliz Buz s Andrea Csuport Emese Czirbuly Edina Fazekas va Ill s Levente Ill s Orsolya Ill s Lilla M sz ros M rta P ter Szab Zolt n Siket S ra Ulrich
Authors Tam  s Kormos Hajnalka Ill  s Translated by Veronika Karsai Orsolya Ill  s Edited by Hajnalka Ill  s Professional ...
Introduction This book is about annoying everyday situations which we cannot avoid and so they drive us crazy
Introduction This book is about annoying everyday situations which we cannot avoid and so they drive us crazy...
M Y IDIOTS How to use this book Contents of the package Plastic bag 1 pc Pocket book 1 pc Cover 8 pc Sling shot 1 pc Stone 1 pc Coin 1 pc Earplug 4 pair Pencil 4 pc Eraser 1 pc Marker 2 pc Stamp 1 pc Stamp pad 1 pc Tape 1 pc Rubber 1 pc Balloon 1 pc Stress ball 1 pc Pen 1 pc Yo Yo 1 pc Sharpener 1 pc
M Y IDIOTS  How to use this book   Contents of the package Plastic bag  1 pc Pocket book  1 pc Cover  8 pc Sling-shot  1 p...
Page 11 1 Open the book 2 Look up the situation tha applies 3 In cese reading does not help look for a stressreleasing game in the book 4 If the game is not much of a help either or you already played with all of them then it is time to take the coin and scratch the book cover 5 Watch out When you scratch the cover others might see what you are reading Quickly put the cover jacket on 6 In case you are desperate and nothing helps anymore Tear the book apart Important ALWAYS keep the book with you Are So Nerve Wracking How to use this book What to do when you meet an idiot
Page 11  1. Open the book. 2. Look up the situation tha applies. 3. In cese reading does not help, look for a stressreleas...
M Y IDIOTS Avoid them Take a look at the timeline to see when and where they are most likely to appear Places to aviod in the morning bt w 7 11 a m Places to avoid during lunch time bt w 12 14 p m public transportation city centre most frequented streets of the town 1h bistrots restaurants caf s grocery stores at the corner office districts 6h 12 h
M Y IDIOTS  Avoid them  Take a look at the timeline to see when and where they are most likely to appear.  Places to aviod...
Page 13 Are So Nerve Wracking Avoid them Places to avoid after work bt w 16 20 p m public transportation city centre most frequented streets of the town supermarkets shops pubs caf s restaurants 18 h 24 h
Page 13  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Avoid them   Places to avoid after work   bt w. 16 -20 p. m .   - public transportation ...
3 11 22 7 17 24 16 1 27 26 14 2 5 12 19 27 25
3  11  22  7  17  24  16  1-27  26  14  2  5  12  19  27  25
18 4 15 1 8 6 10 23 21 20 13 9
18  4  15  1  8  6  10  23  21  20  13  9
M Y IDIOTS Case I Hornchestra We are browsing in the seasonal selection of the popular furniture store when we pick upon a soggy sniffle sounding harmless at first arriving from the direction of the household textiles department The ever audible slightly violent inhalation of air into the yet unknown pair of lungs and nostrils is perpetual The sequences of sniffles are reminiscent of the 2 main sounds of the main theme of the movie Jaws and their threatening factor is amplified by the increase in the volume which makes us conclude that the source of the sound is approaching The object finally appears from behind the curtains a middle aged lady In the shock caused by the incompatibility of the obnoxious habit and the attractive woman it is only the iconic sentence of Roy Schneider applied to our present situation that helps to alleviate the situation We re gonna need a bigger tissue
M Y IDIOTS  Case I. Hornchestra  We are browsing in the seasonal selection of the popular furniture store, when we pick up...
Page 21 Are So Nerve Wracking Case I Hornchestra Just think about it the respective lady does not misbehave but communicates in a to the point manner It is well known that sniffling stands for in many languages Hello It gets cold in my flat during the night so it happens that I catch a cold For this reason I would like to buy a warm blanket Could you help me please Well isn t that too long It s considerably easier to sniffle
Page 21  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Case I. Hornchestra  Just think about it  the respective lady does not misbehave, but co...
Page 23 Are So Nerve Wracking Doodle Doodle
Page 23  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Doodle   Doodle
M Y IDIOTS Case II Risk We are in a constant rush during the week in this ever quickening world However it happens every now and then that there is a narrow window of time within two appointments so we rush into a shop to buy ONE piece of something in order to survive Of course they rearranged the shop again according to the newest wave of marketing interior design manager fashion so finding our product takes 10 minutes instead of 2 And we have only 10 minutes Then comes the payment There are five cash desks out of which one operates Much to our delight we notice a second cash desk opening up with a young smiling girl behind it and we aim at the desk immediately exceeding the response time of fighter pilots and get to the second place in the line Soon we discover that all the queues move faster than ours including the one that is in front of the third desk that opened recently The customer ahead of us forgot to measure the veggies wants to pay by card the scanning system
M Y IDIOTS  Case II. Risk  We are in a constant rush during the week in this ever quickening world. However, it happens ev...
Page 27 Let s put our hand on our heart This scene is familiar isn t it It happened to all of us that we chose the enthusiastic smiling cashier instead of her inert colleague who measures our products with a rather bitter expression on her face We should not forget about blaming ourselves in the midst of swearing It wasn t wise of us to take the risk and sacrifice the professionalism of the bit brittle but experienced cashier who is also a good problem solver for her young colleague who tries to compensate her lack of experience and anxiety caused by her first day of work with smiling and enthusiasm Are So Nerve Wracking Case II Risk refuses to work and the young shopkeeper mistypes something so she has to cancel the payment all together and ask for a key from the main cashier In the meantime we are late
Page 27  Let   s put our hand on our heart. This scene is familiar, isn   t it  It happened to all of us that we chose the...
M Y IDIOTS Stamp
M Y IDIOTS  Stamp
Page 31 Are So Nerve Wracking Stamp
Page 31  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Stamp
M Y IDIOTS Case III Take it easy Yet another case relating to rush It happens quite often when using public transport that we do not catch our transfer It happens in the most annoying way It seems as if we could have tucked in at least our hand inside the vehicle forcing the driver to stop the vehicle in this way He or she is well aware of the fact that 90 of the body of the passenger being outside the vehicle is not exactly optimal However they close the door right in front of us so they see us in their mirror Our eyes meet for a matter of a not exactly romantic instant and we even see a mischievous twinkle in the black of their eyes They set off with a demonic laugh towards the next stop to torture the lives of other potential passengers
M Y IDIOTS  Case III. Take it easy   Yet another case relating to rush. It happens quite often when using public transport...
Page 37 Are So Nerve Wracking Case III Take it easy Our situation is rather miserable in this case since the power lays in the hand of the drivers We should be aware of the following caste system used by public transport drivers to avoid future conflicts 1 the passenger standing in the stop is waiting 2 those running follow a healthy lifestyle but they are rather foolish to do their exercise in the exhaust fumes 3 those waving are aware of the low level of the salary of the public transport company and they express their sympathy this way
Page 37  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Case III. Take it easy   Our situation is rather miserable in this case, since the power...
M Y IDIOTS
M Y IDIOTS
Page 39 Send the book flying Once you are so nervous do not distroy your favourite things Use this book instead Knock it down Are So Nerve Wracking Use the tools Send the book f lying Use the tools
Page 39  Send the book flying  Once you are so nervous, do not distroy your favourite things. Use this book instead  Knock...
M Y IDIOTS Case IV Cable Jungle It happens to the best of us that we place headphones earphones or any other technical device with long cable on or near to other cables Nobody touches them for minutes still when you reach for the device you can be certain that the cables got into close physical connection by that time that is they got tangled but to such extent that the Gordian knot compared to them is a piece of cake It is even truer when it comes to spiral cables and you don t even need another cable for that self tangling
M Y IDIOTS  Case IV. Cable Jungle  It happens to the best of us that we place headphones, earphones or any other technical...
Page 43 Are So Nerve Wracking Case IV Cable Jungle Do you remember the expression orbit The solution derives from that phenomenon The universe is in constant movement it has been expanding and shrinking from the Big Crunch particles attract each other and atoms reach with each other forming bonds so we shouldn t consider this phenomenon a problem Most probably it is a higher power that is testing us We can replace the higher power as we please based on our faith with God laws of physics or with midi chlorians in case we happen to be Jedi padawans Enjoy the untangling
Page 43  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Case IV. Cable Jungle  Do you remember the expression    orbit     The solution derives ...
M Y IDIOTS Case V Does the postman always ring twice When it comes to the flow of information the level of technology has increased enormously by the second decade of the 21st Century but still we face difficulties sometimes The postman always rings twice He rather does not ring not even once he just throws in the receipt on which he states that he shall not try to redeliver but you can get the package at the local post office starting from the next day Following the idea behind the phrase If the mountain won t come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain we have to go to the post office to receive the thrilling cards of the authorities In these they express their best wishes and their trust confided in us they wish luck to our business and they even want to provide us with money for our bare existence Considering the fact that it is a work letter we need the authorization of the workplace the signature of the director and two witnesses as well as the certified specimen signature verifying the authenticity of the authorization
M Y IDIOTS  Case V. Does the postman always ring twice  When it comes to the flow of information, the level of technology ...
Page 49 We introduced a chain reaction but let s get back to the alpha of the story the postman We run into him her once on the corridor and the he she says that we are never at home it s a lie when he she comes another one so for this reason he she never even tries to deliver the packages just fills in the receipt already at the office and doesn t even bring the package itself We should let him her know that even though we understand his her seemingly hopeless situation life is a game full of risks hence he she should try ring the bell every now and then maybe he she will get lucky We play the lottery as well and despite the fact that we have not won yet we fill in the lottery ticket every week Are So Nerve Wracking Case V Does the postman always ring twice After a quick calculation we end up going to the post office with more paper then what we bring from there This happens two times a week Meanwhile the trees are crying
Page 49  We introduced a chain reaction, but let   s get back to the alpha of the story, the postman. We run into him her ...
Page 53 Are So Nerve Wracking Colour Colour
Page 53  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Colour   Colour
M Y IDIOTS Use writing as therapy
M Y IDIOTS  Use writing as therapy
Page 55 Are So Nerve Wracking Use writing as therapy
Page 55  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Use writing as therapy
M Y IDIOTS Complete
M Y IDIOTS  Complete
Page 61 On the go the bag might be useful Use the bubble plastic Are So Nerve Wracking Complete Use the tools Bubble plastic Use the tools
Page 61  On the go, the bag might be useful  Use the bubble plastic   Are So Nerve-Wracking    Complete    Use the tools  ...
Page 63 If the situation is very severe and you can t breathe anymore Use the balloon Blow into it until you calm down Are So Nerve Wracking Use the tools Balloon Use the tools
Page 63  If the situation is very severe and you can   t breathe anymore  Use the balloon   Blow into it until you calm do...
M Y IDIOTS Case VI Cock fight It s a great idea to settle down downtown in a busy neighbourhood Such central areas have their special charm It is especially true during the night when the scooters that are rest in parking garages and staircases in the day and their riders set off in the night making use of each and every cubic centimetre of their engines to disturb the tranquillity of diurnal beings Other nocturnal beasts which are higher up in the food chain choppers racing bikes etc and their jockeys notice the sound of scooters so they arrive at the venue to join the choir of roars this way they can show their dominance and command of the respective territory
M Y IDIOTS  Case VI. Cock fight  It   s a great idea to settle down downtown in a busy neighbourhood. Such central areas h...
Page 67 The goals are the same but humans have a bigger inventory to accomplish the above mentioned activities In this case the roar of the motorbikes is as if the nocturnal exhibitionists were to show their tail feathers Everybody has different ways to get attention and leave an impact so the noise and the smoke shall do if nothing else does We shouldn t get annoyed while inspecting them from the window but should rather turn back to our partners who is waiting for us We don t need exhibitionism Oh we don t have a partner Well we should turn back to the window then and consider buying a scooter Are So Nerve Wracking Case VI Cock fight As long as we can come to terms with Darwin s theory of evolution we may discover similarities between the behaviour of animals and humans alimentation power games courtship mating reproduction
Page 67  The goals are the same, but humans have a bigger inventory to accomplish the above-mentioned activities. In this ...
M Y IDIOTS Tear the page apart
M Y IDIOTS  Tear the page apart
Page 69 People are too loud around you and you can t put up with it any longer Find the earplugs in the bag use them Are So Nerve Wracking Tear the page apart Use the tools Earplugs Use the tools
Page 69  People are too loud around you and you can   t put up with it any longer  Find the earplugs in the bag, use them ...
Page 73 When all else fails use the sling shot Make a pellet of the page for the sling shot Are So Nerve Wracking Use the tools Sling shot Use the tools
Page 73  When all else fails  use the sling-shot  Make a pellet of the page for the sling-shot   Are So Nerve-Wracking    ...
M Y IDIOTS Use the tools The stress ball or yo yo can help when your nerves are on the edge A bit of sport or a game can help in all circumstances
M Y IDIOTS  Use the tools  The stress ball or yo-yo can help when your nerves are on the edge. A bit of sport or a game ca...
Page 75 Are So Nerve Wracking Erase Erase
Page 75  Are So Nerve-Wracking    Erase   Erase
M Y IDIOTS Scratch the book cover When all else fails and you completed all the stress releasing tasks in the book fall to the book cover Take the coin and scratch After scratching don t forget to cover book with the cover jacket
M Y IDIOTS  Scratch the book cover  When all else fails and you completed all the stress- releasing tasks in the book, fal...
Page 79 People are louldy shouting around you Use the duct tape Are So Nerve Wracking Scratch the book cover Use the tools
Page 79  People are louldy shouting around you  Use the duct tape   Are So Nerve-Wracking    Scratch the book cover   Use ...
M Y IDIOTS Life is Good Life is Cool People are Good People are Crazy People are Idiots
M Y IDIOTS  Life is Good  Life is Cool  People are Good  People are Crazy  People are Idiots
Page 83 Are So Nerve Wracking Am I an Idiot
Page 83  Are So Nerve-Wracking  Am I an  Idiot
They Are My Idiots Idi t k
They Are My Idiots Idi  t  k
My Idiots Hornchestra Risk I II Take is easy III Cable Jungle IV Does the postman always ring twice Cock fight Hajnalka Ill s 2015 Budapest V VI
My Idiots Hornchestra Risk  I. II.  Take is easy   III.  Cable Jungle  IV.  Does the postman always ring twice  Cock fight...